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“I have to tell you something.”
He hears Hanzo’s grunt from where he’s tonguing a salty drop of sweat from the hollow of his throat. They’re naked in Hanzo’s bed, still panting from round two of spectacular early morning sex that has both of them pleasantly sore and loose-limbed.
“Gonna announce it to the whole team later today, as a matter of fact.”
Hanzo raises himself on an elbow now, a more serious expression on his face—if somewhat offset by an adorable case of bedhead.
“...But I figured I should tell you first since we’re—”
“Fucking,” Hanzo prompts.
“I was gonna say romantically involved, but yeah.”
“Well, what is it?”
After brushing away a strand of Hanzo’s thick black hair, he quietly tells him.
Hanzo is silent for a few moments, his uncertain smile an indication that he’s probably waiting for a punchline. There isn’t one.
(Denial)
“What you are saying is,” Hanzo starts, slowly, “your true name is Cole Cassidy.”
Cole carefully nods.
“Cole Cassidy.” Hanzo repeats.
“Yep, that’s me.”
Hanzo stares blankly at the wall opposite the bed. “It’s November.”
“What’s that?”
Hanzo meets his gaze, confused. “November. Not April 1st. But this is clearly a joke.”
Cole lets out a nervous laugh. “It’s really not.”
“The entire time I’ve known you...you’ve been someone else.”
“Still the same me, just changed the label.”
“No, you can’t possibly be called Cole Cassidy. Who names their child Cole??”
Cole tries not to let that offend him. “Got a copy of my birth certificate if that’ll help.”
Hanzo is shaking his head in disbelief. Cole begins to think this will be a lot more difficult than he anticipated.
(Anger)
Hanzo flings back the covers and gets up, cursing.
“I can’t believe you never told me—” he mutters, violently pulling on a t-shirt that is both Cole’s and inside out. After a third unsuccessful attempt at shoving a leg into some sweatpants—his, this time—he stops to throw a homicidal glare in Cole’s direction.
“We’ve been seeing each other for how long and now is when you tell me I’ve been calling you by some false name—” Hanzo gives the sweatpants a firm heave upwards over his thighs and Cole winces at the sound of tearing.
Hanzo stomps to the door, pauses to look back and bark, “COLE???” before storming out, door whooshing shut behind him.
Cole’s deep sigh is interrupted by the sound of the door hissing open again, with Hanzo standing menacingly in the frame. He approaches like thunder and Cole is genuinely afraid for his life, raising his palms in a calming gesture.
“Darlin’—”
“I’m going to kill you.”
“You don’t need to do that.”
“Every gift I have given you was monogrammed!”
“I know, sweetheart,” Cole says in a low voice reserved for skittish animals and unhinged criminals, “and I really appreciate—”
“Don’t touch me.”
“Sure thing, baby.” Cole retrieves the hand he had tentatively put out with intent to soothe and instead pats a space on the bed that places him out of reach of possible strangulation. “Let’s sit and talk for a spell, okay?”
(Bargaining)
Hanzo stares at him accusingly as he lowers himself down.
Cole clears his throat. “So, feel like an apology is in order. I’m sorry, Han. Sorry I never told you earlier and that I took this long to trust you with the truth.”
This seems to mollify Hanzo a little and his fists begin to unclench.
“And if it makes you feel better,” Cole continues, “you’re the only one I’ve told in pretty much my whole life. Gabe found out a little while after I got voluntold to join Blackwatch and by that time my alias was on all the paperwork, which he couldn’t be assed to do over. The only other person who knows actually hacked it out of the system.”
“What if,” Hanzo begins, “I keep using the name I know you by until I can get used to...Cole.” he makes a face like it left an unpleasant taste in his mouth.
“I’d rather you didn’t.”
“You don’t even look like a Cole.”
“That’s just ‘cause it’s still new to you.”
“What about if I referred to you as Cassidy in the meantime?”
“That’s a start, I guess.” Cole smiles, scratching the scruffy beard covering his chin.
(Depression)
Hanzo heaves a sigh, his previous aggression leaving him—much to Cole’s relief.
“I think I need some time to work through this,” Hanzo says, clenching and unclenching his fists, “I’m not sure how to feel right now.”
Cole nods in cautious understanding. “Alright.”
This time when Hanzo leaves through the door, it stays shut behind him.
Cole releases a breath, trying to restrain the bubble of disappointment that rises in his chest. His comm vibrates on the bedside table, distracting him.
GENJI 06:58
Lol what did u do
GENJI 06:59
my brother is lying facedown on my bed rn
Cole drags a palm down his face and considers his reply.
YOU 07:01
long story tell you at todays briefing
YOU 07:01
has he said anything??
GENJI 07:03
no hes just lying there like the pathetic loser he is
GENJI 07:03
omg wait
YOU 07:03
what
YOU 07:04
what hapend????
YOU 07:04
GENJI???
GENJI 07:05
its fine hes still breathing i just checked
YOU 07:05
dont scare me like that u fuckin fuck
The last message is marked as read and he receives no further replies. He drops the comm on the bedside table and falls back upon the bed, wondering if he can fit a nap in the time Hanzo has his existential crisis.
The sound of his comm vibrating with more incoming messages snaps him out of a decidedly long blink.
GENJI 08:12
are u coming to pick him up or
GENJI 08:12
this is kind of my meditation hour
GENJI 08:13
u know
GENJI 08:13
~*~MEDITATION~*~
YOU 08:14
can’t do much about that sry im giving him space
YOU 08:14
can’t u jerk off later??
YOU 08:14
sorry ~*~MEDITATE~*~
GENJI 08:16
nvm he just left gud luck byeeee
(Acceptance)
Cole is sitting up against Hanzo’s expensive and insanely comfortable luxury down pillows when Hanzo shuffles back into the room. He slips off his shoes and slides into his spot on the bed beside Cole, looking more than a little contrite.
“I may have...overreacted,” he says after a long pause, “I apologise.”
Cole takes Hanzo’s hand in his. “It’s okay. It was big news.”
“Why now?”
Cole links their fingers together. “It’s time, I guess. Kinda tired of running around and dropping aliases faster n’ I pick ‘em up.” He plants a gentle kiss on Hanzo’s knuckles, thoughts turning to a little black velvet box sitting in his sock drawer holding his future. “Plus, I got other reasons.”
Hanzo’s hum is skeptical but he doesn’t push. He looks down at his borrowed t-shirt with the label sticking out the front and temporarily untangles their fingers to pluck at it, frowning, before pulling the shirt off entirely. He seems to ponder for a moment before finally deciding to wriggle out of his sweats as well and join Cole under the covers with a muffled sigh.
Cole arranges himself to face Hanzo, slipping a thigh between his. Hanzo traces Cole’s bearded jaw tenderly.
“Cole Cassidy...”
“It’s actually James Cole Cassidy. The full thing.”
Hanzo’s brow furrows. “Why not go by James?”
“Eh. It was my daddy’s name and I don’t got a very high opinion of him. Cole was my mama’s maiden name.”
“Hm. Fair enough. A shame though...I believe I would have accepted James more easily.”
Cole chuckles and doesn’t say out loud how he thinks Hanzo would have exploded regardless.
“What will happen to your old name?”
Cole lifts a shoulder in a shrug. “Don’t care. Made it to throw away when it was time. And honestly, I prefer having that one on the wanted posters. Jesse McCree was a piece of shit.”
“He was the you I met first,” Hanzo mumbles, more to himself than anything. Cole makes a sound of acknowledgement.
After a brief silence, Hanzo takes a moment to plump up his pillow and settle on it again with a soft huff of breath. “So when will you make the announcement to the team?”
“I was thinkin’ at our 1800 briefing, just so it gives you more time to get used to it and have my back in case it goes to shit like it did earlier.” Cole gives Hanzo a side-eyed glance, which is met appropriately with an embarrassed flush.
“I am still processing and will not make any promises.”
“We’ll see about that when the moment hits.”
Hanzo moves to lie on his back and stretches, making a sound much like the purr of some sort of large, feral cat and turns to face Cole fully with a predatory glint in his eye to match.
“Would Mr. Cassidy like to join me for breakfast?”
“Sugar, you know I would lov—Ohhh,” Cole moans as Hanzo slides purposefully beneath the covers.
The announcement to the rest of the team goes about as well as expected.
GENJI 18:34
COLE??????
GENJI 18:34
UR NAME IS NOT COLE TF
GENJI 18:34
I KNOW U LONGER THAN MY BROTHER DOES THIS IS PERSONAL U SHIT
GENJI 18:35
How dare u hide in hanzo’s room he cant protect u
GENJI 18:35
im going to fucking kill u OPEN THE DOOR
GENJI 18:37
ok im calm open the door so we can talk
GENJI 18:37
cmon open the door i promise i wont kick ur ass
GENJI 18:38
idk what i did to deserve this. u not telling me. i thought we were friends. im hurt bad cowboy.
GENJI 19:23
cassidy is fine now that i think about it. how are we feeling about cass?
GENJI 19:45
hey coca-coley wanna get a drink?