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Big Kitty Titties

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Most monsters consider ‘speed dating’ to be a simple euphemism for rape and a shotgun wedding. Still, it’s starting to become more and more popular for less aggressive girls to play the field and find their dream man. You are also a huge pussy, so having a captive audience in the form of several single woman seems like a better choice than submerging yourself into the hopeless, inky depths of online dating.

Unfortunately, you haven’t managed to find anyone who catches your interest in the way you’d like. You went out on a second date with a nice Kikimora girl, but she was just too passive for you. Even when you were both dining out at a local restaurant she was trying to provide service to you, much to the annoyance of the waiter.

You mutually agreed that it wasn’t working out. One date is enough to give you some confidence. So now you have less reservations about trying again. With that said, you find yourself in a stale smelling meeting room with several other men of various ages. Tables and chairs are set up around the area.

This is the depressing bit. You’re escorted to your table by a suspiciously happy looking man in glasses. When everyone is seated, the doors at the other end of the room are pushed open. A biblical flood of women follows, both human and monster. There were a few that caught your eye just by the nature of their size, like a centaur and an arachne. But there was one girl who captured your eye above all else.

A cat with scruffy black hair and yellow eyes. She was wearing a pair of too-tight jean shorts and a tank-top that betrayed a lackadaisical approach to the entire ordeal. If that was it, she’d blend into the thousand other werecat girls that live and work in your city. But she was different.

 To say that she was well-endowed would be an understatement.

You’ve seen your fair share of top-heavy women. You live in a city where the average cup size is D and above, and that’s with a relatively large population of still human women to bring it back down to Earth. Cows, demons, centaurs, you’ve seen it all. Boobs the size of melons hefted around like they’re no big deal. For chesticle lovers, there was no shortage of supply of women to peruse.

What you can categorically confirm that you’ve never seen before though, is a werecat with tits that eclipse your head. The black tank top rides high, revealing her lithe stomach merely because there isn’t enough fabric to contain them. She makes the thing look like a bra. She’s short, around five-foot-tall, so the effect is made even more absurd. These were breasts that wouldn’t look amiss on the body of an experienced dairy cow with a few children under her belt.

The women are escorted to their starting tables. Your first partner was the centaur, who trotted over to your table and folded her legs under herself to sit down at something approaching eye level. She was cute, and the two of you shared a lively conversation about her recent move into the city. You made a silent note in the back of your mind to add her to your list at the end.

The evening continues much as you expect. Some of the girls are friendly, some are a bit too obsessive for a first meeting that lasts 8 minutes, some struggle to talk with you thanks to the implicit pressure of being here for the sake of romance. You almost forget about the werecat until the bell rings and the girls switch out again. You feel a chill of dread run down your spine as you see her approach from the corner of your eye, long black tail swishing behind her.

She takes her seat across from you, and it is simply impossible to keep your eyes away from the hypnotic jiggle of her chest. You snap back to her eyes and hope that she didn’t notice you taking a good long look at them.

“Uh, hi.”

“Yo, I’m Katy.”

You shuffle in your seat and try to get things back on track, but Katy cuts you off by pointing a sharp tipped finger in your direction, “Yeah, I know – they’re big. Get your fill now so we can move onto something else.”

“I don’t want to be rude.”

She smirks, “I didn’t say it was a problem.”

That puts you on edge. You haven’t had to deal with a more confident girl just yet, these meetings attract the meek and the desperate. She chuckles at your reaction and pats the table, “No need to get so tense. I know some people struggle with being casual about that kind of thing.”

No such thing in a city where you regularly run into people fucking in the streets…

You shake your head, “Why are you in a stuffy like this and not down at a club? Or using a website?”

“My friends told me that this speed dating thing was better than going online and sending messages into the void. So here I am.”

“I don’t get it. You’d have the pick of the lot.”

She shrugs, “Don’t you get the problem? Why the hell would a guy who’s into knockers this big decide to give me a chance, when there are dozens of Holstaurs out there who fill that niche, you know?”

You nod, “Okay. But isn’t the average guy into that? I mean, even if there was a pack of cows following you everywhere…”

“You’d think so, but no. Everybody thinks that I have to be athletic, you see me climbing any buildings with these two things attached to me? Last guy I got interested in ditched me because I couldn’t wrap my legs around my head.”

“I never considered it before.”

She smiles, “So I’ll be upfront with you, I can’t do any of that freaky contortionist crap, I’ll damn near suffocate myself. And if you don’t have a thing for big old kitty titties, I might not be the gal for you either.”

You don’t mind either of those things. Her extreme proportions are actually kind of sexy. “You won’t hear a complaint from me, Katy.”

“Careful, I might have to marry you with that attitude before you get away.”

Your time with her is unfortunately short, as eight minutes later the bell rings again. She winks at you, tail swaying behind her as she leans down to give you a good look at her deep cleavage, “Don’t be afraid to put me down on your list, buddy. You might be surprised.” With that, she departs to her next destination, leaving you with a bright blush on your features.

You take a moment to cool down in the parking lot as the other attendees file off into their respective vehicles and drive away. You duck behind a nearby bus shelter to get away from the prying eyes of the people keeping watch for any troublemakers. Much to your surprise, Katy is leaning against the railing with a smirk on her face. “Hey big guy, since we’re already here – how about we go out for a drink or two?”

“If I didn’t know any better, I’d say that you’re proposing breaking the rules of the meet.”

“And if I am?”

“I’d ask you what bar we’re going to.”


Katy pulled you to a little hole in the wall nearby. It had a comfortable atmosphere, which was strange because she struck you as the type of girl who liked the louder clubs with bustling dance floors, although her chest may make that a challenge. You have to stop yourself from laughing at the image of her knocking someone out cold by hitting them with her breasts.

Of course, the main topic of discussion was tits. Katy had slipped into a tirade about purchasing bras for a reason you can’t remember. “They’re a total pain in the ass, they cost three times as much as a normal bra, and the shipping costs even more. A lot of the people in my groups say the same thing.”

You nod along with the story that Katy is telling you, “Groups?”

She takes a sip of her drink and collects herself, “You know, like an online group? A community for ladies with a little more on the chest.”

“They have groups for that.”

“There’s a group for everything if you look for it, that’s the internet for you.”

“So what do they talk about in there, what it’s like living with big tits?”

“Half that, half cows looking for milking advice. I don’t get how those cows live like that, when they don’t have a husband they have to milk themselves, and I’ve seen enough milk stained tops and bras to last a lifetime.”

“No other cats.”

“Nope, I’m the only one.”

You lean back in your seat and purse your lips, “Is it a family thing?”

Her ears flick, “Nah. My mom is as flat as a board. A few years ago, I had a phase where I was really into researching my family history – so I went into the attic at my parent’s house and dug through all the family photos from decades back. Signed up for all the ancestry websites, the whole thing. Turns out that it was just a freak accident, a perfect storm of weird genetic bullshit.”

You polish off your own glass and sigh, “Alright. Let’s talk about something else. I’m sure you get enough comments about your chest already. You have any family?”

“Apart from my mom and dad, I have two sisters. They don’t live here in the city though, so it’s a pain in the ass to go see them.”

“I’m from out of town too. My hometown doesn’t have many monster girls in it, so it was kind of a shock moving out here and seeing them everywhere.”

“My mom is a traditionalist, keeps telling me to pounce of a guy and rape him – she’s been listening to too many of those talk shows, it’s rotting her brain. I don’t want to leap on the first man I see. I like what I like.”

“Alright, so why do you like me?”

“Do I?”

“You invited me out for a drink.”

She giggles, “Okay, I don’t really know. You seem like a fun guy, and that’s better than every other man I saw back there. Some of those guys didn’t even shower before coming, I could smell them from a mile away.” The slovenly appearance of some of them didn’t surprise you. A lot of people see monsters as an easy lay so they don’t put much effort into their appearance. You decided that jeans and an old, faded graphic t-shirt from a music festival was a little too casual.

“Yeah, my friend told me that it was pretty easy to find a girlfriend online if he just acted normally instead of hitting them with a pickup line.”

Katy shudders, “Don’t remind me. I’ve heard every crappy joke you can think of.”

“I bet they’re aimed at chest height.”

“How could you tell?” she responds sarcastically.

The rest of the evening flies by. You and Katy drink and drink until the bar closes and forces you both out onto the street. You could easily stagger deeper into town and find a bar that was still open, but you’re already feeling wiped out after several rounds with your new friend. She seems to agree, as she makes no attempt to convince you otherwise.

“That was pretty fun,” she declares with a small slur in her voice. You don’t know if her face is red from the chilly air, the alcohol in her system, or the sudden suggestion that she outs afterwards, “You wanna’ come back to my place? It’s pretty close to here…”

What kind of idiot would turn down an invitation like that from a woman like this. Unless you were one of those weird Sabbath people who spent all day arguing about flat chests online. “Sure, I’m too drunk to find my way home now.”

“Cool, come on, it’s this way.”

You follow Katy through the streets for two minutes or so until you reach a tall apartment building. You climb a small set of stairs and let yourself in through the front door. Then there’s a second, larger set of stairs that leads up to the door to her home. “Shit, I didn’t clean up before coming out.”

“I’m way too drunk to remember any of this.”

“Noted.”

Katy’s apartment is a cosy little place, but it’s messy as you’d expect from a person living on their own. Clothes and waste are strewn about on various surfaces in her combined living room/kitchen. There’s a window that looks out onto the park across the road, giving a flash of greenery through the urban jungle.

“Sorry about the mess,” she apologies sheepishly, stepping over a pizza box that had been left by the door, “I haven’t had any time to clean the place up.” You duck under a giant-sized bra hanging from the doorway and walk into the living room. You pull Katy towards the couch and give her a moment to collect herself.

“My apartment isn’t much better.”

“I drunk way too much, I’m gonna’ feel like shit tomorrow.”

“You didn’t just bring me here for a cup of coffee, did you?”

Katy purses her lips, yellow eyes shining from under her messy tangle of black hair. “Maybe.” She grabs your left arm and presses her oversized breasts against you with a flutter of her eyelids, “And if I didn’t?” You turn to face her and pull her into a sudden kiss. It isn’t long, romantic, or even filled with tongue – but it’s enough to knock her off balance and fluster her for the first time since you met hours ago.

“H-Hey! I’m supposed to be in charge here!”

“Go ahead and take the lead then!”

The gauntlet thrown down, you know that you’re in for a pretty wild night.