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Highschool Crushes

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Emmett is being particularly cute today. His curly hair obscures part of his face. He walks up behind me in our bedroom and wraps his big, burly arms around my waist. I smile at him in the mirror. In an instant I turned to face him. “You look perfect, stop worrying.”

He knows me so well. Usually I’m not fond of comments about my looks. I used to be, until I realized it was quite the curse. But I never mind Emmett's comments because I know he loves me for who I am. I love him just the same, but I can't help feeling like something is missing. We walk down the stairs, hand in hand.

Everyone is scattered around the house. Emmett and I are on the couch. He’s watching his new favorite show, The Vampire Diaries. The irony is not unknown to me. I’m sort of paying attention, but I let my mind wander.

My ears tune into a soft piano. Edwards is playing in the other room, but the sound is so clear and precise. The wall doesn't obscure any of the song. He’s playing Bella's Lullaby.

I still think that humans are going to mess things up. We have a good thing going here and she's going to ruin it. The music stops and I can tell Edward is upset with me. Not that I care much, he needs to know this human is going to be a problem. Though it doesn't seem anyone else agrees with me. That's fine, they can be wrong for now. But they are going to regret it.

Carlisle is off to work, he usually doesn't stick around in the mornings. Esme is cooking for a domestic abuse shelter. She brings food on the weekends, I think it's sweet of her. She knows what it's like and wants to give back.

Alice is sitting on the stairs with her head in Jasper's lap. Her eyes are glazed over, like she's having a vision. She looks out of it, and I wonder what it is this time, Is it about Bella? I don’t really care.

All is silent except for the hearty, concentrated laugh from the piano room. What could Alice see that's so damn funny? Edward never laughed, and when he did there was always trouble clinging onto his arm, holding on for the dear life she was so willing to give away. Her silky brown hair billows in the wind. Damn you, Bella! Always finding some way to crawl inside my head, ruining my life. It was moments like these where I could only pray Edward was too preoccupied with Alice’s vision. Though I couldn't see his expression, or hear his thoughts I was sure that had to be the case because he was still laughing.

Jasper could only turn to me with a look in his eyes, wonder, fear perhaps. No, that was me. Scared he’d find out the only secret I'd ever kept from him. Jasper is the closest thing I have to a real brother. I couldn't possibly keep something so important secret for so long, but families were meant to keep things hidden away. At least normal families, but we are far from that.

“Oh Rose!” When she says my name it catches me off guard. I pretend I didn't flinch but we all know the truth.

“What?” I roll my eyes anyway.

“You’ll never guess what I just saw.”

“No, I won’t. But pleeeease tell me.” Sarcasms drips from my perfectly plump lips. I exaggerate the word please.

“It was a girl, human. She's going to strike up an interesting conversation with you very soon.” She shoots me a not so subtle wink. “I’m not sure of her name, but she's very beautiful.”

Yeah right, nobody is prettier than mwah. I think. For a moment I'm almost positive I've spoken out loud because Alice responds in her usual high-pitched tone.

“For a human… She has hair longer than mine, but shorter than yours.” She uses her hand to indicate the length. “About this long,” Her hand rests just below her shoulder. “Oh! And she has a fantastic style. Leather jackets, vintage dresses. They are really one of a kind pieces.”

“What was Edward laughing about?” I ask wearily, not quite sure I actually want to know the answer.

“You’ll find out soon enough.” That's Alice for you, vague and unpredictable. She lets out a screeching laugh.
I grind my teeth as Emmett pulls me a bit closer. I always feel calmer under his touch. I think he can sense I’m about to boil over, I hate when Alice does this.

I’ve always wanted a tangible power, like Alice or Edward or Jasper. Even my Emmett has extra strength.

All I have is my beauty, and look where that got me. Emmett tries his best to reassure me it wasn’t my fault, but sometimes I can’t help but let my mind drift. When it all gets too much, I think of their blood spatter on my first wedding dress. I think of the fear in their eyes when they knew they had made a big mistake. I’m still fond of the theatrics of it all. The thought of their timely death makes me smile.

Before I can say anything Esme is rushing us out the door saying it's time for school. I’m so sick of this routine. Starting over and over. At what point does a ‘fresh start’ get spoiled. I think it's the hundredth or so years we’ve been in high school.

It’s not like we haven't been to college, but it's easier to stay in one place longer, to really set down roots, when we start younger. I started as a sophomore, and honestly I'm not sure how the stupid humans believed it, but I'm glad they did. I like Forks. It’s quiet and the sun almost never shines. We can almost feel normal.

Alice likes it best, the feeling of normalcy. It's probably because she doesn't remember what it felt like to be human. Most of our memories are foggy after the change, but I couldn't imagine not remembering a single thing at all.

I don’t entirely hate being a vampire, at least not as much as Edward does. It has its perks, a forever with Emmett is one. But the downfalls are worse. I can never grow old, or have children.

Though sometimes I wonder what Emmett would be like as a father, and what our child would look like. To grow old is a privilege not many people have, and Bella is willing to throw it all away for some washed up emo boy who sparkles she had met only weeks prior. I don’t think I'll ever understand her, nor do I want to.

My BMW is in the garage. I’m tweaking it just a bit, but it should be ready in a couple days. For now Emmett and I ride separate from the others in his wrangler.

Tension fills the silent air. Neither one of us is breathing. I can tell he’s working up the courage to say something, but he’s going to need a nudge.

“What is it?” My words are hard, but I keep my voice soft.

“I’ve been thinking of Alice's vision…”

“Oh?”

“Yeah, like maybe there's something she's hiding from us, and so of course Eddie knows too.” I love it when he starts to ramble, all his words slur together and he gets all flustered. If he were a human, he would be blushing right now. “I think she’s going to be a part of our lives, Rose, I can just tell by the way Alice talked about her.”

“No, she won’t be. We are not keeping another pet.”

“Bella isn’t a pet, she’s Edwards' girlfriend.”

“Whatever. One human is bad enough - but two, well that's even worse.”

“Please,” He begs. “Can we keep her?”

“We don’t even know who she is yet Em.”

“But when we do?”

“God! This is so dangerous.” I keep my eyes out the window avoiding his puppy dog eyes. “Such a bad idea.” And he knows not to push it. We ride in silence for the rest of the way.

“I love you, ya know.” He says kissing my forehead.

“I love you too, big bear.”