Work Header

Lost in Translation

Chapter Text

“These are our paintings,” Nandor said, gesturing to the dozens of paintings adoring the hallway wall, “and our candle sticks.”

The ghost of Nandor grunted, following after the vampiric version of himself with a look of complete befuddlement. He shuffled along the halls, more human than Nandor had been in centuries despite his ghostly appearance.

“We hang out in there,” Nandor continued, gesturing to the fancy room, “and gather for formal meetings in the library. I don’t really know what the kitchen is for, but Guillermo goes in there sometimes and makes all sorts of smells. And when he’s not in there, he’s in his-” Nandor trailed off, “-room.”

Nandor (the Ghost) had halted at the entrance of the kitchen. He was staring at something inside, an intensity in his eyes that Nandor (the Vampire) recognised from his days of pillaging villages. He took a few steps back, angling to see whatever it was that had captured his ghost’s attention. But there was nothing in the kitchen but Guillermo.

“What are you looking at?” Nandor asked, confused as his ghost moved deeper into the kitchen as if pulled by some invisible cord. He approached Guillermo and paused, hovering in front of him as the look in his eyes grew darker.

Guillermo had noticed the ghost entering the room and was watching him back, though there was nothing strange about his eyes. He looked at Nandor (the Ghost) the way he had always looked at Nandor (the Vampire), with his big dark eyes and his sweet little smile, like he would do anything to make Nandor happy.

“Good evening, master,” Guillermo said to Nandor. And then, to the ghost, “And good evening to you, too.”

Güzelsin,” said the ghost. He lifted a hand and placed it on Guillermo’s shoulder, drawing him closer. They were chest-to-chest now, Nandor (the Ghost)’s hair forming a curtain about their faces. “Enfes. Bir başyapıt.

Guillermo smiled, incredulous, and looked to Nandor for help. It had been a long time since Nandor had spoken his native language, and he could not understand what his ghost was saying, but there was one thing that Nandor could never forget: the art of body language. As the ruler of his country, Nandor had been a conquer of both lands and bodies, and had been famous throughout the land for his infallible seduction technique.

The very same technique that his ghost was using on Guillermo, right now.

Melek yüzlüsün,” the ghost said, “ve bir savaşçının vücudu.” His second hand rose to circle Guillermo’s waist, and he pulled their torsos flush in a sensual display of dominance. “Sana vücudunun her yerine dokunmak istiyorum.

“Oh,” Guillermo blushed, looking demurely away. He laughed a little, biting back his smile in an erotic display of submission. “Uh, thank you? I guess?”

Nandor had never seen Guillermo this way, before. He had been so different, when Nandor had first met him. Smaller, more timid. He would have been an easy lover to break; the kind of lover that Nandor could never bring himself to take. There was no thrill in fucking a person who would submit to you, so easily. The flirting, the seducing, the breaking down of your partners walls - there was no fun to be had if there was no fight, no chase.

Guillermo stuttered as the ghost’s hands trailed lower, sliding over his hips and around to the small of his back. The ghost’s hair slid over Guillermo’s shoulders as he buried his face in Guillermo’s neck, whispering in his ear.

Seni sikmek istiyorum. Cığlık atmanı istiyorum.

“Uh, master?” Guillermo met Nandor (the Vampire)’s eyes over the ghost’s shoulder. His cheeks were beet-red and burning; Nandor could feel their heat from across the room. “Is he saying what it sounds like he’s saying?”

“Of course not,” Nandor snapped, too quickly to be believed. He shook himself out of his stupor, however, and crossed the kitchen to grab his ghost by the hair. He dragged the ghost backwards a step and placed himself between it and Guillermo, snarling at the creature. “You flatter yourself, Guillermo.”

The ghost looked between Nandor (the Vampire) and Guillermo with a look of understanding. He grinned, mockingly, and poked his tongue out at Nandor. “Sen bir pussy,” he said, laughing at the vampire. “Onunla sevişmekten korkuyorsun.

“Shut up,” Nandor snapped.

“Can you understand him, master?”

Nandor whirled to look at Guillermo. His skin was still flushed and, up close, Nandor could hear that his heart was racing. He smelled of excitement and arousal; he was attracted to Nandor’s ghost! Which meant- he might be attracted to Nandor, as well.

“Are you still here, Guillermo?” The vampire said, cruelly. Guillermo deflated and took a step back, the colour draining from his cheeks as quickly as it had risen to them before. He looked from Nandor (the Vampire) to Nandor (the Ghost), his expression impassive as stone, before nodding slightly. Nandor wasn’t sure quite what that meant, and he didn’t have time to ask, because as soon as he had done it Guillermo turned away from them both and stomped, with purpose, out of the room.

The ghost tried to follow after him but Nandor would not allow it. He grasped at the back of the ghost’s billowing shirt and dragged him to the corner of the kitchen. He said, “You must not speak to Guillermo that way. He is my familiar; it is not proper. We have to continue to ignore him, even when it is difficult, or we-”

Wait, we?

Shaken out of the moment, it occurred to Nandor that he was aroused. In his pants, something was stirring, and he was not vain enough to pretend that he might be harbouring attraction to himself. No, when Nandor focused on his own arousal he found his mind clouded with visions of his familiar, Guillermo, and very little else. His soft frame and thoughtful eyes, his brown skin and dear smile. He still couldn’t be sure what his ghost had said to Guillermo, but he thought he could take a good guess…

The ghost grinned, patting Nandor on the shoulder even as his edges blurred, and he faded from this world. Was that his unfinished business? Nandor wondered. To make himself realise that he was in lo- no, attracted to -Guillermo?

“Master?” Guillermo said, emerging from just beyond the kitchen door. He looked around the kitchen and seemed to deflate when he saw they were alone. “Is he gone?”

“Yes, Guillermo. It is done. My unfinished business has been fulfilled.”

“What was it?” Guillermo asked. “Did it,” he took a step into the room, closer to Nandor, then seemed to think better of it. After a deep breath, he continued: “Was it anything to do with what he said to me?”

“I don’t know what he said to you,” Nandor lied, because he was fairly certain, looking at Guillermo now, that he knew exactly what his ghost had said. 

You’re beautiful. Exceptional. A masterpiece. You have the face of an angel and the body of a king. I want to touch every inch of you and ignite it with glorious pleasure. I want to fuck you, to make love to you. I want to hear you beg for me.

Shaking his head, Nandor pushed past Guillermo and stepped out of the kitchen. It reeked of human food and was enough to turn anyone’s stomach sour. Guillermo made to follow him but Nandor held up a hand, stopping him.

“Not now, Guillermo,” he said, tilting his head to see his familiar over his shoulder. “It has been a long night, and I must slumber before the sun rises. I shall see you in the morning. Yes?”

Guillermo frowned, and Nandor could sense his disappointment, but hesitantly, he nodded. “Yes, master,” Guillermo said, and when Nandor continued towards the stairs Guillermo made no move to follow him. “Have pleasant dreams, Nandor.”

The vampire was too taken aback by the revelations of the evening to correct the informality. He climbed the stairs like a mortal, lost in a sort of trance, and locked himself in his bedroom to be plagued with thought of how he could ever prepare for bed with Guillermo’s help again.

What Nandor's Ghost Actually Says to Guillermo:

1. You’re beautiful. Exquisite. A masterpiece.
2. You have the face of an angel and the figure of a warrior. I want to touch you all over your body.
3. I want to fuck you. I want to make you scream.

What Nandor's Ghost Says to Nandor:

1.You are a pussy. You are afraid to make love to him.