Chapter 1: gc 1
Childe added ven., moramona, bieru<3, and 30 others
Childe set his nickname to Tartaglia
Tartaglia named the group (Childe)ren of Uzzing Sussy Bussy
Tartaglia: guys i rwally need advice
moramona: what the fucj is this
moramona: i swear to archons childe stop askimg for advice
bieru<3: o-o heyy! @Tartaglia
ven.: @xiao. hii~ ilysm my star!~ ( ◜‿◝ )♡
Tartaglia: venti, my comrade... plz dont flirt here haha xd i am single plz
xiao.: ilysm too my love.
Tartaglia: wow ok👍
fishyyelle: GUYS HELP THESE TWO ARE LITERALLY BY MY SIDE AND THEY'RE RUINING MY ADVENTURE TIME MARATHON
fishyyelle: also why's xhingqiu's name like that
kya: go get laid childe
Diluc: What in the barbatos is this ?
kya set Diluc nickname to free drinks for kaeya tonight
free drinks for kaeya tonight: ?
iceyboypopsicle: @fishyyelle BL
ven.: WAIT WHAT BESTIEEE YOU ALSO READ BL?
bieru<3: what ? (;;;・_・)
xoxorissaa: oh my, i can see where this is heading!
bieru<3: is venti also a book lover...?
awoootao: LMAO WHAT
awoootao: WHAT DID I MISSED HERE
free drinks for kaeya tonight: Xingqiu, Venti hates long sentences unless it's from his lover.
kya: @bieru<3 hey bae u should change name now bl doesnt mean book lover
ven.: OMFG HAHAAHAHAHHAHA XINGQIU I ACTUALLY THOUGHT
bieru<3 set nickname to booklover, okay?
xoxorissaa: speaking of bl, @ven. @awoootao did u heard "from the stars" is getting a live action????
ven.: omg! lisa ure updated too?!
awoootao: WHAT REALLY I'VE REREAD THAT NOVEL 5 TIMES ALREADY THANK GOD THEY DECIDED TO GET A LIVE ACTION 🙏🛐
Tartaglia: haha guys back to our original topic, i need a lot of advice
Tartaglia: so like-
table sugar started a call
table sugar joined the call
The call ended
table sugar: I'm so sorry, everyone! I accidentally clicked the wrong button!! I'm so sorry!!!!!! ToT
Tartaglia: oh its fine
awoootao: OHHH HEY MY BABY GIRL SUCROSE <3
ven.: aw man i thought sucrose finally gonna talk to us
table sugar: Oh no, Sir Albedo! Did I interrupted your experiment?! ToT
kya: @Albedo hi hottie
Tartaglia: guys i am single stop flirting
xoxorissaa: @captaine hey cutieee 😘
cocogoat: @soundofmoney hii! qwq
soundofmoney: Hey babe ▼・ᴥ・▼
captaine: lisa we just broke up
Tartaglia: oh fuck?
booklover, okay?: ????? nooooo!! what happened?
awoootao: HEY WHAT????? THEY JUST WHAT??????
ven.: HEY WHAT?? JUST BECAUSE ME AND XIAO AND OUR THIRD WHEEL WENT FOR A VACAY YA TWO BROKE UP????
fishyyelle: fuck you and just because @sarakujou is in inazuma AND we can only video call doesnt mean you can call me ❝your❞ third wheel
ven.: wdym! uve been third wheeling since first year in highsxhool☺️💞
moramona: im sorry fish but i agree with venti here
fishyyelle: alexa play traitor by olivia rodrigo
free drinks for kaeya tonight: Yes. Jean and Lisa broke up 5 months ago.
ven.: @awootao BESTIE WHAT THE FUCK? 5 MONTHS???? WE ACTUALLY FAIL THE JOB
awootao: BESTIEEEEE I KNOW I FEEL SO AWFUL
xoxorissaa: 😌 yes we broke up
kya: AAAAAAAAAND guees whos diluc's gf now
kya: hint; u-ugh yes!♡~ she loves dandelion!
free drinks for kaeya tonight: Fuck off, Kaeya. I'm kicking you out of the bar if I saw a tiny hint of your blue hair that fucking looks like a mop.
kya: andddddd yeeeesss!!! **drum roll** its jean!!! u guessed correct!
ven.: daaaaaaaaayuuumm daddy diluc here coming with a bangeeeerr
awootao: RIGGHTTT BESTIEEE???? WE'RE LITERALLY THINKING THE SAME
Albedo: Oh, what a surprise. Well, that explains why those two shared a kiss in a breezy afternoon, September 7, 3:05.
kya: oh my... @Albedo
Albedo: Yes, my dear?
kya: wanna shower? coming over there rn
Albedo: Yeah, sure.
ven.: @xiao. dumpling date later?
Tartaglia: ok............ r u guys done haha
eatheer: Hey, my comrade, Childe haha! What did I missed?
moramona: liteeeraally everything
eatheer: I mean, Izz almost 1 am now😬
luminescent: @eatheer hey go sleep u moron we have school tom
Tartaglia: heyy aether!! u calling me comrade is making my day slightly better
eatheer: Ah.. well I'm glad hehe! ☺️ Y'know, got used to it since I flew into Snezhnaya!
eatheer: It was a great trip haha! 😊
luminescent: finally a thing i can agree with you
eather: Aw, don't be like that sis 😔
Tartaglia: glad to hear from u and lumi but seriously guys i really need your help, i need advice
moramona: ugh fine u stupid blockhead, i bet that without getting advice from people youre gonna end up stumbling ur toe
eatheer: Hehe, okay! I'm listening🙈
Tartaglia removed wootao from the group chat
luminescent: hey wazzup whyd u remove her all of the sudden
lol lmao heard that zhongli likes her and not me haha xd
Tartaglia unsent a message
Chapter 2: gc 2
kinda serious topic
haishancrux: Ayo, childe I saw that
haishancrux set Ningguang nickname to Rich Auntie Ning
Rich Auntie Ning: I saw that (1)
Yan(Law)Fei: I saw that (2)
eatheer: I saw that (3)
luminescent: I saw that (4)
cocogoat: I saw that (5)
soundofmoney: I saw that (6)
moramona: childe, that actually sucks.
Tartaglia: i fucking know, okay?
Tartaglia: i feel so shit for archon's sake
Tartaglia: i mean yeah he's fucking out of my league
Tartaglia: i understand that he'll like someone other than me
haishancrux: Dude, sorry to break your sadboy moment but you're actually rhyming
haishancrux: @Kaedehara I demand for some remix
Kaedehara: @Tartaglia You should talk to them. The best way right now is to confess every thing, I am sure thing's will go fine. You are a fine looking man after all, you have charm, power and riches. No one would refuse to marry a rich handsome man, unless you have a rotted personality.
moramona: ok sir/ma'am kaedehara, are you trying to make childe's head bigger
Kaedehara: No, I am simply being honest to him.
Tartaglia: ayo slow down i see no possible wedding ceremonies in my future
luminescent: @Tartaglia i actually agree with kazuha, but add some spice tho like r u actually sure about the thing u said earlier?
Tartaglia: of course lol
luminescent: if u are then, why not just change the feelings yknow, make him fall for you with your weird ass flirting skills
eatheer: Arrhmm, My advice for you, talk it out with him, likeee why not ask him for some advice but just hide the I like you zhongli part 😊
eatheer: I really don't knoow, sorry! 😔
Tartaglia: fuck i wanan curl up in a ball and just die
moramona: dude its just a crush, you move on and everything's cool
Yan(Law)Fei: I don't know about that, Ms. Mona... The last time I tried to move on, it took almost a year
haishancrux: oh fuuuck i remember that it was kinda small tiny bit awesome for me
haishancrux: free alcohol. . . gaah i miss that
Yan(Law)Fei: I know, awesome for you but hell for me XD
luminescent: ah yes! an opportunity! my business is always open, matchmaking yknow what im saying
Tartaglia: what really, do me a favor then lumi
luminescent: cool, his name and tag is mochi#5073, his name is scaramouche
eatheer: Oh! That guy from St. Unio🌚
luminescent: @Tartaglia hey
Tartaglia: ok i got it already
Tartaglia made luminescent an admin
luminescent: @eatheer oh yeah? what about him bro
luminescent added mochi into the group
eatheer: I don't know, he just seemed y'know, not Childe's type..
eatheer: Childe likes soft guys... more, right?
Tartaglia: i fucking domt know, im a mess right now i feel so shit i swear
Tartaglia: it all makes sense, the continuously joking, laughing and going out fuck i
mochi: LMAO look at this loser @Tartaglia
Kaedehara left the group
Rich Auntie Ning: Yup
mochi: @Tartaglia oh wait i know you
luminescent: lol everyone on the lurking mode yeah im going to sleep
eatheer: Me too! Umm, Bye bye comrade!
Tartaglia: Goodnight Aether, Lumine
Tartaglia: bruh who are you @mochi
mochi: ure from snezhnaya right, i met lumine when she was in a trip in that place too
mochi: you were with her lol guess u dont remember me lololol pathetic brain memory
mochi: oh um lumine just dmed me smth, so u want some advice huh
mochi: well i dont really give a hoot about your love life lololol but i still have this 1% good person thing
mochi: sooo Option 1, what aether said would work ig, gather information before confessing, and another thing, i call this one observation. if they dont show any shitty romantic emotion in their face, or any strange body language then that person is 0 billion percent uninterested in you
Tartaglia: holy shit im starting to like you, you talk like a professional assassinator or something that's very cool
Tartaglia: and yeah, done that too many times, i guess he doesnt show anything
mochi: oya? its a he? are u gay
Tartaglia: not really im bisexual lol
mochi: cool, same
haishancrux: oh damn dont mind me, just wondering what are these bubbles on the air
haishancrux: oh i know! discord love forming!
ven.: oh my, dont mind me, im on the lurking team now ehe~
mochi: anyways yes, option 2: this is the part where it all gets sad and stuff, its called moving on if you dont know lol becuz ure fucking stupid, and yes just like moramona said. how much do you love him? is he worth it? will he give himself to you, just like youre willing to? will he love you? ask those questions to yourself bro
mochi: option 1 didnt work = youll always end up in option 2, no more other way to go out lmao thats why i find falling in love so stupid and pathetic i mean the whole concept of love is just 🌚
Tartaglia: yeah youre probably right about those option things, ure good at this huh
Tartaglia: i really shouldn't overthink but yeah i really love him that much, yes he is definitely worth it tbh. and that all depends to him, if im not the right person then he will not give all of him to me. he will'nt lmao
mochi: yeah sad shit bro, i just did a whole background check on mmm xiansheng
Tartaglia: good luck i guess, im going to bed there's school tomorrow im gonna die havent done the essay shit
mochi: making essay so easy but like goodluck i guess good nightie
"falling in love so stupid" dude you just asked for some favor if i could find you a boyfie
luminescent unsent a message
luminescent: i thought u and dain are doing good what happened
luminescent: bruh childe is actually overthinking, hes playing osu its 3 am lol
luminescent: everyone else is sleeping sheeesh
luminescent: @mochi yo? u there, or just dont want to talk about dain stuff
luminescent: ok goodnight u stupid fucks im getting fucking ignored, god i still fucking hate you scara if i ever see you again im gonna slap you across the teyvat
Chapter 3: private message 1
haishancrux and Kaedehara's private messages
beidou talking to kazuha in pms after he left
haishancrux: Ayo, kazoo
haishancrux: why did you leave?
Kaedehara: Did you already forgot?
haishancrux: what forgot?
Kaedehara: Summarization of it all, Scaramouche is very manipulative and a huge bastard.
Kaedehara: I am surprised Lumine and him are friends.
haishancrux: What do you mean?
haishancrux: I mean if you want to talk about it.
haishancrux: I'm with Ningguang.
haishancrux: She's worried about you.
Kaedehara: I can talk about it.
haishancrux: We're here and listening.
Kaedehara: I met Scaramouche, because of a.. beloved friend of mine.
haishancrux: Ah, Tomo. I remember him.
Kaedehara: Yes, I met Tomo in discord, but later on, we decided to meet up.
Kaedehara: And he brought someone with him, Scaramouche. It's been 3 years after that, I was a young adult, 18 and Scaramouche was 16.
Kaedehara: He was 16 at that time and yet he managed to control Tomo's entire life.
Kaedehara: I'm telling you, Beidou. He's dangerous behind that stupid fucking mask he always wear.
haishancrux: What do you mean by he managed to control Tomo?
Kaedehara: I... really don't know.
Kaedehara: Tomo never... talked to me about those things.. He left discord a year after, deleted all his social medias.
haishancrux: Yeah, tried doing research on that guy, but nada.
Kaedehara: He was... forcing himself to feel happy whenever he's with me.
Kaedehara: I just later heard that... He committed suicide.
Kaedehara: But please hear me,
Kaedehara: I am sure that Scaramouche guy drove him to.. kill himself, I am so sure... that he's manipulative.
Kaedehara: Have you seen how he act all mighty? It's so fucking infuriating.
haishancrux: I'm... really sorry to hear that, Dear Kazuha.
haishancrux: But we shouldn't jump into conclusions.
haishancrux: This is Ningguang on the phone, Beidou is cooking breakfast.
Kaedehara: Oh, I see.
Kaedehara: I'm gonna head to bed.
haishancrux: Ayo, good night, son.
Kaedehara: Goodnight, mom..?
haishancrux: yeah, and chair up kazoo
Chapter 4: gc 3
UnluckyLucky: Goodmorning, everyone!!!
UnluckyLucky: @everyone Rise and Shine!!!
razor: hrlo benet
UnluckyLucky: Razor!!!!!!!!! Nice meeting you here!!!!!!!
UnluckyLucky: Haha! I told you, discord is fun!
razor: yes fun1111
razor: razor still ccompused how tis use
UnluckyLucky: That's fine!! Do you want to go out and jog?!
razor: i bring dionaklee and more frends
xoxorissaa: little wolfie is here<3
xoxorissa set razor nickname into our little wolfie
our little wolfie: hi libraryian zoxorisa
xoxorissaa: @UnluckyLucky it's 5 am, don't ping everyone hehe
xoxorissaa: oh went offline
ven.: WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO THEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE FUCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCK
ven.: PINGEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEED MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE??????????????????????????????????????????????????????
xoxorissaa: hahaha yippy
Albedo: Goodmorning @UnluckyLucky
kya: oh my archons my freaaking notifs are annoying shut the fuck up venti
free drinks for kaeya tonight set nickname to Diluc
ven.: WHAT "SHUT THE FUK UP VENTI" I WILL ACTUALYL KICK YOUR DOOR OPEN KAEYA DO YOU SITLL REMEMBER WE'RE LITEEEEEERALLLYY NEIGHBORS
kya: sis, i recommend not doing that
ven.: OH NO YOUR NOT GONNA STOP ME
fishyyelle: too late @kya
fishyyelle: hes fucking stomping his feet like a toddler and XIAO IS JUST FUCKING STARING WHAT THE FUCK?
fishyyelle: SOMEONE HELP AND STOP THEM IS ANYONE ALIVE IN OUR COMPOUND???????????
sarakujou: @fishyyelle missing you
fishyyelle: aw, im missing you too <3
cocogoat: hii everyone!! qwq
cocogoat: morning $$<3!!! loveyoualways!
soundofmoney: :cattoblush: loveyou2andalways
booklover, okay?: heyy couples haha
booklover, okay?: i'm definitely not feeling left out here nuh-ah
luminescent added woootao to the group
woootao: HEY BITCHES AND BROS AND NON-BINARY HOES
woootao: @booklover, okay? @iceyboypopsicle HERE I GOT YOUR BACK XINGQIU
booklover, okay?: waah? HAHA
iceyboypopsicle: :peek: hi
woootao: CHONGERS BBTIME WITH MY PRECIOUS ADORABLE XINGQIU<3
woootao: @ven. BBG LOOK AT THIS
fishyyelle: holy shit venti looks traumatized
kya: yup, i told him lol
ven.: HU TAO YOUWONT FUCKING BELIVE THIS
ven.: I JUT FUCKING SAW THEM FUCK LIKE LITERALLY WHAT THE FUCK ITS 5 AM
woootao: BABEEEEEEEEEEEEE I BACKREAD AND YES ITS UR FAULT AHAHHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHHAHAHA
woootao: VENTI YOU FUCKING BITCH UGHH I SWEAR WE'RE LITERALLY THE SAME BUT THE ONLY DIFF IS THAT U HAVE A FUCKING GOOD BF LIKE BRUUUUUUUUUUUUH
Tartaglia: didnt slept or anything
ven.: OH DAMN Y'ALL GO LURKING MODE ITS MOCHI AND CHILDE FLIRTING NOW
Tartaglia: @mochi hey sup
mochi: he's not worth it dude lol
mochi: i mean yeahh lol hes smart handsome and all, actual rich kid like ning but like he wont even notice ur true feelings lmao thats so sad
Tartaglia: yea aaaaaaaaaa ive been crushing on him for 2 years and he'll like someone
awoootao: WAIT WHAT
awoootao: ZHONGLI LIKES SOMEOJEB ELSE? WHAT THE
Tartaglia: oh hu tao
Tartaglia: uhm yeah hes like someone alread
ven.: yu[p uuuuhhhhhhh bye bye havin breakfast date with @xiao. the love of my life <3
xiao.: im gonna love you forever until my very last breath @ven.
xiao. set ven. nickname to xiao's property
xiao's property set xiao. nickname to venti's property
mochi: okay love birds
booklover, okay?: hi xinyan
booklover, okay?: heard that ure hosting the game night later
metealxin: Yes! we're gonna play a lot of board games, just imagine we're gonna be in like a casino but full of board games 😂
iceyboypopsicle: @booklover, okay? lets go together ?
woootao: DAAYUUUUM MHM YUP I CAN YES MHM YES
kya: my my my our yun is making the first move??????
captaine: aha kids these days
kya: ok just becauxe diluc is whipped for u doesnt me you can "kids these days"
captaine: i.. *sigh*
booklover, okay?: guyzzz him asking if we could go together is not what erm u think of!
Tartaglia: bro he asked u go answer
mochi: LOL i definitely can tell this childe dude is salty because no one ships him with zhong ｗｗｗｗｗｗｗｗ
woootao: WHAAAAT??? WHOS THIS MOCHI KID AND HOW OLD ARE YOU LMAO
Chapter 5: gc 4
a little fight
mochi: 19, do you have a problem with that
wootao: 25, it's 6 am kiddo go sleep ☠️
woootao: respect the elderly
mochi: no thx
woootao: LMAO WOMT RESPECT ELDERLY = HEIGHT VERY SHORT
Tartaglia: why the fuck are you guys fighting
mochi: ok ms./mr. woootao
woootao: its ms. you stupid fuck
mochi: ok lmao at least im not dense as fuck
captaine: u both calm down...
Diluc: What's happening?
kya: hey break it down u two my notifs are fuking blowing up
woootao: what dense? the fuck's this guy talkin bout
woootao: youre getting on my nerves
Yan(Law)Fei: I got a ping and what the hell is happening?
mochi: i would love to get on everyone's nerves here
mochi: and what i mean about dense is lol the childe likes zhongli part but wait there's always a twist LMAO LMAO
mochi: lol zhongli likes u woootao
mochi: and that makes you so fucking dense how come you
Tartaglia removed mochi from the group
Tartaglia: for fuck's sake
woootao: what the?
woootao: is this seriously a prank or what
woootao: that's so really actually impossible i swear childe
kya: whaa really, fuck i literally bet for childe to get his man
moramona: u guys were betting behind his back?
moramona: damn when did i missed this
Tartaglia: fuck it
Tartaglia: yknow what just fuck all of this
Tartaglia: no more asking for advice because im done, im fucking done
booklover, okay?: everyone... what happened?
thomato: wow this gc was quite the ride
fangowhoosh(ayaka): it indeed is
thomato: tartaglia's angry all of you should feel sorry
awoootao: no but like seriously childe, i honestly dont think zhongli likes me at all
Tartaglia: no hard feelings hu tao, you can get him if you want after my confession gets rejected big time
awoootao: what are you saying no ones getting rejected okay i will personally help you
Tartaglia: no no no don't worry AHAHHAHHHahaha
luminescent added Kaedehara to the group
UnluckyLucky: Hey... everyone
UnluckyLucky: No one's active here!
UnluckyLucky: Are you okay, Razor?!
razor: sorry lisa daid i try yellow cricle call emojis
UnluckyLucky: Okay, haha! That is silly!
UnluckyLucky: Let's go out and explore the forest I found across river!
Chapter 6: private message 2
Tartaglia and mochi's private message
mochi: go talk to hu tao, she said shes gonna help you good for you
Tartaglia: Fuck you
mochi: lol i know
mochi: but go get your man dude
Tartaglia: how the fuck am i suppose to do that when you just ruined everything now hu tao nows it
mochi: im 10 billion percent sure she willn't steal your man
Tartaglia: bro she hates you
mochi: i know
mochi: doesnt matter anyways
mochi: im always hated and stuff
mochi: but eh idc
Tartaglia: kinda sucks
Tartaglia: but u deserved it
mochi: i cant say i deserve it
mochi: i want to
Tartaglia: finish your sentence kiddo lol
mochi: fuck you im 19 i aint kiddo
mochi: old fuck
Tartaglia: oh fuck you too im literally 1 year older than you i aint old
mochi: lol old
Tartaglia: not fucking old
mochi: no old
Tartaglia: ok kiddo how tall are you
mochi: swear to fuckign god i know your address
Tartaglia: oh shit
Tartaglia: lol like i care
Tartaglia: c'mere then LOL
Tartaglia: i am literally fucking huge like 6'1
Tartaglia: kiddo whats ur height
Tartaglia: say it pussy
mochi: FUCK YOU YOU DICKHEAD
Tartaglia: WHAT SAY IT AHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHA
mochi: IM 5'4 SO WHAT FUCK YOU FUCK YOU
Tartaglia: lol cute
mochi: fuck you shithead i will rip off your head
Tartaglia: love that approach
Tartaglia: i really like you
mochi: the fuck
mochi: you in love with me or something?
mochi: ew disgusting get the fuck out of my sight, dog
Tartaglia: oh damn
Tartaglia: you really think you could dominate everyone
mochi: i really want to step on your shitty face
Tartaglia: go on
mochi: oh? you like being dominated? LOL shameless
Tartaglia: lol no who says im just gonna let you step on me like that
Tartaglia: maybe its you who wants to get dominated
mochi: nuh-uh bitch
Tartaglia: cant beleive ur 5'4
Tartaglia: venti's fucking taller than you LOL WHAT THE FUCK
mochi: at least i wont stumble my feet if i dont get people's advice
Tartaglia: okay "sir" backread boy
mochi: okaaaaay "sir" whipped
Tartaglia: whaaaat no i aint whipped
mochi: oh darling, i saw how you look at him
mochi: look hes online, go talk to him
mochi: or just talk to hu tao instead
Tartaglia: the hell, wdym by you saw how i look at him
Tartaglia: and fine, i'll take ur word and talk to
Tartaglia: "her" aka hu tao
mochi: good luck dude, and heard u play osu
Tartaglia: i play games
mochi: yes i can tell it literally says in your bio "eboy"
Tartaglia: what no
Tartaglia: brooo i aint eboy fuck you
mochi: yeah yeah
mochi: wanna play osu or valo or do you even play league
Tartaglia: lets play, feelin' lonely rn
mochi: yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee it liteeeeeeeerally shows in ur status
mochi: you fucking shit
Tartaglia: bro fuck you
mochi: fuck you too
Chapter 7: private message 3
Tartaglia and awoootao's private message
childe replied to her after the chat with scara
awoootao: hey childe
awoootao: wanna call?
awoootao: lets um talk this all out
awoootao: because i'm really willing to help you
awoootao: stop playing osu pls or maybe ure talking to someone it says here ure idle 😭✋
Tartaglia: was playing
awoootao: hey dude u sure you dont want my help?
Tartaglia: oaky fine i want your help
Tartaglia: is it free or do i have to give you my wallet lol
awoootao: of course its free!
Tartaglia: i kinda developed trust issues
awoootao: o h
Tartaglia: remember that time when everyone i knew in liyue fucking pranked me
awoootao: OH LOL BIRTHDAY BOY
Tartaglia: u guyz said zhongli want to havw date with me 🌝
Tartaglia: and it was my bday too what a bunch of horrible people
awoootao: LOL AHAHAHAHAHAHSHSAHAHAHHAHHAAHHAHAHA
awoootao: yeah but like
awoootao: my business, wangsheng funeral is still open afterall
awoootao: and if u die when zhobgli reject you, i will save you in my hands
Tartaglia: you sound like yoire sure zhonglis gonna reject me what the hell man where's my supportive friends?
awoootao: aha just kidding dude
awoootao: i give you all my luck
awoootao: and lets call later
Tartaglia: yea whatever
Tartaglia: im in game so brb
awoootao: okok glhf
Chapter 8: gc 5
Tartaglia: guys i dont need advice this time
Tartaglia: I NEED TO FUCKING KNOW HOW TO USE CHOPSTICKS LIKE WHAT HOW DOES THIS SHIT WORKS
Rich Auntie Ning: Oh dear, you just want to impress Zhongli.
Tartaglia: whaat no no okay like tiny bit
luminescent: childe u have praise kink or smth
Tartaglia: oh come on ive watched that a couple of times
Tartaglia: i still dont know how to
thoma: thats very sad
fangowhoosh(ayaka): it indeed is
ココミ: oh gorou hows it going
ココミ: is it hard to ping me @woofwoof
ココミ: hello wth
thomato: cute shy puppy
🎆: HEY HEY HEEEEEYY
ココミ set nickname to ko²mi
ko²mi: who even invited me here aaa
fangowhoosh(ayaka) set nickname to ❄️
thomato: sweet nn
sarakujou: @fishyyelle hey whachu doin
fishyyelle: nothin much, hows inazuma trip doin
sarakujou: nothing much tbh
sarakujou: wanna call? i'll stream
fishyyelle: aaaa yes movie nights but its not really night is backk!
xiao's property: wow so weird to see fish with someone
fishyyelle: the hell does that mean
🎆: @xiao's property HEYY BESTIE ITS BEEN A WHILE HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA
xiao's property: god why am i friends with hotiies 👷
🎆: ughh u are a hottie too bbg 😢
awoootao: bbgs miss y'all 😓💔
🎆: miss u too hu tao
xiao's property: HAHAAHHAHAHA miss u 2 😭
thomato: @Tartaglia how's chopsticks doin
Tartaglia: oh hey my inazuman twin brother
thomato: i am from mondstadt
Tartaglia: wait what i thought u were from inazu
thomato: was born in mond, raised in inazu
Tartaglia: scara's gonna join
thomato: oh that dude cool cool cool let him join
Tartaglia: im playin bad today havin some internet probs
thomato: thats cool to me
❄️: i amm coool
thomato: ofc u r
thomato: ure very unique
🎆: OH OH OH
🎆: THOMA AYAKA CUTE INTERACTIONS MOMENT?????????
woofwoof: @Kaedehara Kazuha !
Kaedehara: Hey, Gorou.
haishancrux: @metealxin game night cancelled?
Yan(Law)Fei: Rescheduling, everyone is still invited.
Tartaglia: damn kinda missing game nights
Tartaglia: i miss liyue
haishancrux: lemme just translste what that means for the sake of everyone
haishancrux: "damn kinda missing game nights with zh0ngli"
haishancrux: "i really miss zh0ngli"
Tartaglia: okay beidou
🎆: SO TRUE BESTIE
xiao's property: thats so well translated
awoootao: LMFAO THATS SO TRUEEEEEE BEIDOUUU
haishancrux: gtg peeps
awoootao: byebye mommy
haishancrux: @Rich Auntie Ning Mommy
Kaedehara: Introducing my family:
Kaedehara: @Rich Auntie Ning mom
Kaedehara: @haishancrux dad
thomato: @Kaedehara son
haishancrux: im so proud of you im in tears
haishancrux: gonma give you a lot of pats IF u gonna join game nights
haishancrux: beidou adopting center is still open i can adopt all of you
Tartaglia: actual beidou dad moments
kya: soo like funny story y'all
kya: y'all know that i work in a strip club right
kya: i still remember that look on childe's face when he saw me there
Albedo: Wha ?
Diluc: You're still working at Ningguang's strip club?
kya: oh oops mb
kya: i meant "used to work"
Tartaglia: fuck kaeya you were so hot
kya: nooo bedo ugh ure so possessive in bed but u lack confidence in urself 😔
kya: @Albedo i really love u, u know?
Albedo: I know.
Albedo: I sometimes wonder if I deserve to have happy moments in life. . .
xoxorissaa: everyone deserves to be happy, sir albedo 😌
kya: yesss stop that determination to be unhappy i really love you veeeery much💙
Albedo: Okay. Go on with your story, love.
kya: okay 😚
kya: so anyways, remember when i USED to work in a strip club
kya: im still freaking wondering how a government member like ningguang owns a strip club
Rich Auntie Ning: For your information, I do not run it. Beidou runs it in my place.
kya: aw thats so sweet #when
kya: ANYWAYS so my funny story is
kya: so true tartaglia whats funny
Tartaglia: u said its a funny story im giving some support and love here as a homie :homiekiss:
kya: so my funny story is like I used to work in a strip club
kya: and i always bring marshmallows with me in a transparent container
kya: i dont bring them in with like plastic packets
kya: and after work they just freeeaking stick together it kinda looks disgusting definitely looks like cum
Diluc: Fuck you.
Diluc: Klee just read that sentence. Out. Loud.
kya: oh my, u babysitting with jeanie?
captaine: yes kaeya...
kya: coming over rn
xiao's property: @kya OMFG SISTEEEEEER THAT SHIT HAPPENS TO ME TOO 😭✊
xiao's property: but i still eat it cuz it cost me 300+ mora
venti's property: and you still do it.
kya: 😭huhu i wonder why that happens
Albedo: It's because you leave it hot in the car for hours and hours. While driving, you have AC on, right?
kya: ofc i like cold atmosphere but i liek u more daddy 😉
Albedo: So that happens, it kinda melts the marshmallow and it all stick together when cold air comes.
Tartaglia: fjck im so single help
Rich Auntie Ning: I feel like you only like Mr. Zhongli is because you want to get in his pants.
Tartaglia: not really but half true
Tartaglia: it was fucking love at first sight im tellimg you but its all one sided and shit
Tartaglia: the first time i met him, he was so hot in those liyuen clothes thing
Tartaglia: i want to fuck him so bad
xiao's property: SIMP ALERT EWWWW
Tartaglia: fuck you as if you aint simping for your bf
xiao's property: we r together SOOOO???
xiao's property: @venti's property i love you my universe, my snookums, my boo, my cherry on top, my love, my star, my everything 🐸💕
venti's property: from the back of uranus, i love you so much. even if everything collapse, i will love you until my very last breath. you dont know how much youve changed me, and i always thank you for that. i love you, forever and always♡.
Tartaglia: oh sweet tsaritsa
awoootao: aw y'all so sweet
awoootao: what is your favorite position childe
Tartaglia: genie-technique-sitting-style 💦
thomato: ah ah ah, anime-girls-sitting-on-the-ground-*cutely*-technique-sitting-style 👵
Tartaglia: my bisexual ass is agreeing with you bro
thomato: wanna league tho
Tartaglia: cool i'll ask scara to join, that guy is a fucking monster at playing ||yuumi||
Tartaglia: also y'all okay with me inviting scara back
thomato: yeah y'all, hes very chill and surprisingly has a nice hot cool chill voice
awoootao: ugh fine, just domt let him talk to me istg I'll bald his hair
Kaedehara: He's... very dangerous, guys.
Tartaglia: huh? dude
Tartaglia: hes literally screaming like a girl when getting chased by the enemy jungler how tf hes dangerous
Tartaglia: which i find strangely cute bc his pitch changes HAHAHAHAHHAHA
thomato: HAHAHAHHAHSHHSHAA same bro
awoootao: fuck both of you, fucking whipped boys 🐋🐳🐬
Kaedehara: Go ahead, like I give a shit about him.
haishancrux: @Kaedehara its fine dad's gonna protect you
Tartaglia: sweet thx kazoo
Tartaglia added mochi in the group
mochi: @Tartaglia @thomato whores hoes slut fuckholes sex toys
thomato: woah there buddy calm down and yes i will 🙇 for you..........
Tartaglia: that's... kinda gay, thoma, my brother.
thomato: Fucking.......... betrayer. It is fine, I... I completely understand.
mochi: what about you tartaglia, yield now
haishancrux: the fuck
mochi: heya beidou
haishancrux: oh um hey?
mochi: lol saw kaedehara kazuha's msg
haishancrux: oh... yeah
mochi: am i the jerk here now or what
thomato: ngl tho ure freaking cool to be with
Tartaglia: BROTHER! hes literally bullying me everytime in vc!!!!!!!!!!!
haishancrux: no, ure not hated here or anything haha
haishancrux: i want you to talk to kazuha here, my son and lets fix this uhm problem here
Tartaglia: huh? what problem?
haishancrux: and yes @woootao you are welcome to join our discussion
haishancrux: just want to make things clear, why the fuck are you manipulative and dangerous, scaramouche?
mochi: fuck you
mochi: why the fuck am i manipulative and dangerous?
mochi: the hell are you saying loool
awoootao: fuck look at this bitch here
haishancrux: yeah time first, shit ain't gonna come anywhere if you dont talk kid
mochi: pls explain why everyone's calling me kid
Tartaglia: cuz u sound one?
mochi: bruh they havent heard me aaaand lumine and aether r literally 17 years olds BRUUH
thomato: okay bae why do you know that
mochi: i do research my bud... i do.. research.
thomato: that's why i love you so much baby 😘😍❤️
thomato: oh shit i mean like i was just kidding ayaka i am still single🤐
Tartaglia: fuxk brother, u guys together?
thomato: sadly no, im just courting her, her brother's very rough and scary dude 😔
Tartaglia: OH FUCK ME EVERYONE I KNOW IS TAKEEEEEEN WHAT ABOUT ME 👤
luminescent: @mochi this guy is single and ready to mingle
luminescent: or u want a one night stand i have a list of names who wants to uh yes
haishancrux: @mochi if youre ready to talk, im always here, im not trying to pressure you or anything
haishancrux: I just want to hear your side.
Kaedehara: It's no use, Beidou.
Tartaglia: @thomato @mochi league?
mochi: hah ur ass needs my professional yuumi support
Tartaglia: fuck you just because i always pick adc
pls i want to portray " the boys being gays to each other but tartaglia is putting up a fight "
Chapter 10: gc 7
this is so fucked up im sorry
woofwoof: Please help Gorou!
UnluckyLucky: Hi, Gorou!
UnluckyLucky: I am Bennett!
woofwoof: Hi, Bennett!!
our little wolfie: hi goro
our little wolfie: my name is razor
woofwoof: Hi, Razor!
woofwoof: I am Wolfie, too!
woofwoof: @everyone Please help poor Gorou!
awoootao: heyy morning guys
soundofmoney: plz dont ping i have works to do..
kya: hey baby @woofwoof
xoxorissaa: what you need help with, cutie?~
Tartaglia: @mochi i will not lose
mochi: either am i
mochi: u think im backing out?
mochi: i will kot sleep like that weakling thoma
Tartaglia: HAHA i will not sleep too bwxaue i qma dotmwnfins wkthan him
mochi: fuxk taking iy bacm bc i wnan slep
Tartarglia: yes fuck same wanna make sleep vc
mochi: kinda gay but im in
awoootao: dude its 9 in the morning
mochi: i sleep
Tartaglia: No i will not sleep i will not lose to your bitch ass
mochi: oh fcuk you i will not lose too but wanna still hop in sleep vc?
Tartaglia: i will open my ears if i hear you snore
mochi: i dont snore bitch
mochi: anyways hi gorou @woofwoof what do you need help for
woofwoof: It's you!
woofwoof: But nevermind for now, I need help!
Tartaglia: yeah what is it
woofwoof: I just don't know why my boyfriend broke up with me..
woofwoof: I am still crying...
Kaedehara: ????? Gorou, you have a boyfriend????
ko²mi: GOROU WHAT? YOU DIDN'T TELL ME ABOUT IT
❄️: gorou????? Thought we were friends🗣️
🎆: GOROU WHOS THAT BITCH THAT BROKE UP WITH YOU
mochi: goroou we're not close but ure cute af who would want to break up with you
Tartaglia: agree even though haven't seen ur face
fishyyelle: wow you both's grammar and spelling still here
woofwoof: Yes, we've been together for 4 months
woofwoof: Gorou didn't tell because he said so.
mochi: what happened
❄️: 😾 who did that to you pls tell me
woofwoof: The problem is I don't know his real name, he goes by the name adrian...
woofwoof: he won't really tell me!
🎆: fuck actual 🚩🚩🚩there
mochi: why did you two broke up
woofwoof: Because he said I wasn't too girly... and I feel insecure now.
mochi: that's fucking disgusting who's that motherfcuer that did that to you
woofwoof: I always send him my cute pictures everyday, but he still broke up with me.
mochi: uhm hey did he tell you to uh send lewd stuff?
🎆: FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK IF HE ACTUALLT DID IM GONNA BLOW UP HIS ENTIRE HOUSE WITH THESE FIREWORKS I JUST FUCKING FINISHED MAKING TODAY
mochi: give me something from him, i can track his location
❄️: oh im definitely not mad haha
❄️: @thomato look please
woofwoof: Uhmm yes.
woofwoof: But It was when we played T or D, so I had to... send him.
mochi: fucking shit seriously who's that fuckee
mochi: @Tartaglia bitch are you eating
Tartaglia: oatmeal supremacy
woofwoof: I really want him back everyone! Please help Gorou!
xoxorissaa: ? cutie, you ain't going back to him.
woofwoof: Hi! Why?!
captaine: I'm sure that guy is a discord mod or something
🎆: fuxk yeah
mochi: hey gorou, are you sure you sent him a lewd pic ?
woofwoof: My thighs!
mochi: im actually fucking afraid, what if your pictures get uploaded somewhere ?
woofwoof: Huh...? He won't do that to me...
woofwoof: I'm scared what if he actually did...
Kaedehara: @woofwoof Calm down, tell us his name and tag, I will talk to him to delete those pictures.
mochi: im just getting ready, fixing my setup to track that motherfucker down
mochi: tarta-chan's gonna beat them down, right babe?
Tartaglia: oh sure baby
ko²mi: fucking asshole, fuck
ko²mi: gorou come over later okie
ko²mi: sorry im late..
ko²mi: my last energy drained
haishancrux: @woofwoof Ayo
haishancrux: this best dad's advice for you is dont date anyone so fucking sus in discord its gonna end up bad
UnluckyLucky: Yeah!!! Be like me and razor!!! We only explore and go on adventure!!!
our little wolfie: 😅😅😅😅yes
haishancrux: i mean open your eyes, he broke up with you because u aint that girly
haishancrux: the fuck's that mean what a fucking horrible situation
haishancrux: sorrryy jm still drunk because games nights hasnt ended yet and uh people are making out here
Tartaglia: shit pls take me is zhongli there
mochi: loool whipped
fishyyelle: what u jealous mochi dude
mochi: what why would i be ive been giving ed sheeran advice for yhe wholr straight day
Tartaglia: thank you baby, thats what i like about you eh 😘
mochi: be submissive, slut
Tartaglia: fuck you bitch, i am dom
Tartaglia: anyways yeah @Kaedehara how's the talk goimg on?
Kaedehara: What? Gorou didn't give any names
woofwoof: Please talk to him for me...
mochi: tracking him down now
mochi: @Tartaglia @🎆 giving address later
mochi: oh fuck? hes in snehznaya
mochi: close to you dude LOL
ko²mi: i already finished 5 plans to threaten him that he pisses his pants
Tartaglia: sure since im also a horrible person give it to me
ko²mi: dming it now
ko²mi: no dating online without my permission gorou
woofwoof: Thank you all of you for you help.
mochi: no probs gorou, just enjoy life and troll bitches and hoes
Tartaglia: and he passed out
Tartaglia: might as well do it
captaine: people from mondstadt
Tartaglia: im from snezhnaya
thomato: currently in mondstadt now whachu need
captaine: i need a babysitter for klee, and... her two other friends
kya: qiqi sayu, dont know where their parents are
thomato: how much u payin and why
captaine: we're going somewhere with Diluc and kaeya
kya: why did you capitalize his name ugh biased
captaine: sorry Kaeya *sigh*
Tartaglia: @thomato ayo wanna meet up
Tartaglia: booking a flight rn to mond
thomato: wtf sure sweet
thomato: fucking rich kid
Tartaglia: do you need bbsitter rn or tom
Tartaglia: @mochi you comin?
mochi: sure bitch
mochi: wait what
Tartaglia: meet up bc i said so
mochi set Tartaglia nickname to ginger fucker
ginger fucker: what the heal
mochi: are we seriously gonna meet up
ginger fucker: sure of course
mochi: what the fuck do you mean sure of course
thomato: sheeeesh scara, u booking a flight or no
mochi: fuck fine, my friend signora is also there so
mochi: @ginger fucker pay for my flight
ginger fucker: how am i gonna pay for it
mochi: it's because i live in snezhnaya
ginger fucker: WTF
awoootao: okay wtf
thomato: were you lurking
awoootao: of course
moramona: its kinda adorable seeing you three interact to each other
moramona: but i dont think childe deserve friends
ginger fucker: mona... why are you like that to me.....
mochi: LMAO AHHAHAHAHHAAHHAHAHAA
thomato: nah, man's too cool to not deserve friends
thomato: we love you dude
ginger fucker: i love you too baby boy <3
mochi: fuck that's so gay AHAHHAHAHAHAHAHA
thomato: @mochi baby<3 dont be like that, i love you so much
thomato: oh uh no im just kidding ayaka im very loyal to you
mochi: LOL AHAHAHAHAHAHHHAHAHHAHAHHAHAAHHAH
ginger fucker: #when
ginger fucker: @mochi im kinda confused
mochi: about what?
thomato: why are you in snezhnaya
ginger fucker: why are you in snezhnaya
mochi: oh parents got divorced, i went with my dad in snezhnaya
mochi: my siblings went with mom lol
ginger fucker: damn dude
mochi: what "aw"
mochi: i reaallyy dont care lol
mochi: anyways meet up at the airport, and pay for my flight
ginger fucker: alright sure
ginger fucker: and sorry mom wont let me use our private plane
thomato: fucking rich kid ugh
ginger fucker: i earned all of it
moramona: since y'all going to mond pls donate money to mona @ginger fucker
xiao's property: CHILDE'S GOING TO MOND? DAMN IT IM IN LIYUE THAT DUDE FUCKING RENTED DILUC'S ENTIRE BAR FOR THE DAY
xiao's property: UGGHHHH @venti's property PLS LETS GO MOND FOR NOW PLSSSS XIAOOO
venti's property: im gonna pick you up.
xiao's property: AWW I LOVE YOU SO MUCHH <3
ginger fucker: @Diluc i guess im renting your bar again
kya: WIAT HWAAAAATT NOOO CHILDE FUCKJ
kya: I CANT CANCEL THIS TRIP AAAAA
fishyyelle: OOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH CHILDEEEEEEE
fishyyelle: MY SWEET CHILDE
ginger fucker: here we go again
fishyyelle: u gonna buy me a new tv right
ginger fucker: no stop
mochi: hey i just arrived
mochi: where you?
fishyyelle: dear celestia, just date each other
should i write how they meet up in mond and baby sit the whole day
"Fuck, where are you..?" Scaramouche huffed, gripping his phone. He bit his index finger's nail, waiting for his reply in the group chat. "Ughh, that asshole. I swear, did he tricked me?" Tears were starting to be visible in his eyes, the feeling of getting manipulated again scares him.
His other hand ducked his white bucket hat down, trying to hide his pathetic self, looking down at his phone.
"Hey, what do you mean? I would never do that." Warm hands touched both of his shoulders making Scaramouche startled and look behind. "Boo." A suspicious looking man, black sunglasses on and a white bucket hat with a whale designed on it.
"What the fuck!" Scaramouche screamed, pushing the man far from him. "Chill, comrade! It's me!"
"Who the fuck are you!" Scaramouche cried out, raising both of his fist at the man. Eyes watering from fear, he gazed at the man. "It's Childe. Are you okay?"
He sniffed, glaring at Childe. "You scared me." Childe smiled worriedly, "Sorry, didn't know you get scared easily, MB dude."
"Buy me mcdonalds and I will forgive you." Scaramouche laughed evilly, clasping both his hands like an evil villain would do in a classic anime show. "Everyone's treating me like a walking wallet." He sighed.
He looked at Childe again. A white bucket hat with a whale designed on it, black sunglasses. Black converse high shoes, blue ripped jeans, oversized white t-shirt.
"Why the fuck are you dressed like that?" He asked, lifting a brow up. Talking about his weird ass looking sunglasses. "Uhh, I'm famous in Snezhnaya." Scaramouhe was confused, more. "How."
"I'm a twitch streamer, god damn it. I thought you do research on everyone you encounter."
"H.o.w." Scaramouche furrowed his eyebrows in disgust. "Ajax, that name rings a bell in you?" Then he finally understood, nodding at him.
"Oh, that streamer? Cool, let's go then."
"G, let's go." They walked like models, swinging their hips like nobody cared. Eyes were definitely on them.
Scaramouche was wearing a white bucket hat, a dolphin designed on it. Wearing a pair of white converse high shoes, black pants and a white oversized sweater.
Fuck, they actually look like a couple going in their first date overseas.
Ugh, the fact that I enjoy that thought is making me throw up already!
They were sitting together. Scaramouche was on the window side, and Childe was beside him.
"Hey, I really want to be on the window side." Childe spat out, mumbling it. "Shut the fuck up, slut." Scaramouche mocked, flashing Childe his smug face.
"You really like saying slut. There's a child behind out seat, by the way." Scaramouche immediately flinched, tugging both his sweater to hide his mouth.
Childe laughed, "You even act so cute in real life." He almost try to pat Scaramouche on the head, but stopped himself mentally. "Yeah, fudge you." Scaramouche lifted his ring finger up, instead of his middle finger.
"Tomorrow, we'll be in Mondstadt in a flash because I am cool!" He raised a fist up in amusement. Wheezing like an anime protagonist that was about to turn to an evil junk.
"Also, wanna play wild drift?" Childe smirking, he brought out his phone. "Of course." He smirked too. Two anime villains teamed up and about to destroy the whole fucking teyvat.
Childe deadpanned, remembering the slow fucking internet connect they will get because they are flying in the clouds. "Wait no, never mind. Let's just binge something, no sleeping again?"
Scaramouche immediately nodded, "And I didn't lose the last time."
"What? You lose!" Childe whined, "Didn't." Scaramouche could only laugh smugly.
Tartaglia slept with his head buried beside his seatmate, and Scaramouche didn't minded it, continuing the Death Note anime show they picked earlier.
But Childe ended up snoring through the whole episodes, Scaramouche took a picture to prove his victory.
And they arrived at Mondstadt.
"Wooo, that was quite a trip." Childe stretched his hands up, smiling at the visible eye bugs underneath Scaramouhe's eyes.
"Let's go already." Scaramouche grabbed Childe's hand and dragged him inside the taxi.
Mondstadt was great as always, it looked like it was always spring season unlike in Snezhnaya.
mochi: @captaine we're here already !
thomato: i think scara knows my address
ginger fucker: scaramouche looks cute bro
thomato: thats my baby boy 😘
mochi: fuck you
luminescent: what seriously
luminescent: did u two actually
ginger fucker: yup
luminescent: i agree wholeheartedly with scaramouche being cute
luminescent: and short
ginger fucker: whaat no i didnt said that
mochi: didnt know childe was a famous streamer sheeesh
xiao's property: WHAT
ginger fucker: dont tell them pls
mochi: name's childe, but also go by tartaglia, real name's ajax
xiao's property: oh that streamer yeah he's quite famous
awoootao: i kinda prefer la signora shes hot
ginger fucker: oh fuck her
mochi: oh i hate her shes my friend
mochi: dottore is a streamer too, pulcinella, uhh they're bunch of losers
ginger fucker: ikr i cant say we're friends but we use each other for content
moramona: WHY ARE YOU FRIENDS WITH RICHES UGH
booklover, okay?: @ginger fucker CHILDEEEE VISIT LIYUE! I TOLD MR. ZHONGLI YOU'RE BACK
ginger fucker: omyarchons really oks im on my way
captaine: uhmm... hey childe, there's 4 children inside Diluc's house...
ginger fucker: cool
mochi: wait im gonna babysit too?
thomato: ME AND THE BOYS BABYSITTING LETS GOOOOOOOOOOOO
mochi: no hard pass
captaine: please... dont let klee play with bombs, dont let them enter our kitchen, sayu gets exhausted real quick let her sleep... and qiqi is ok.
kya: good luck boys 😷
It was an 1 hour trip before they reach Diluc's house, which is just close to his bar. "You passing on babysitting?" Childe whispered, "Yes, I'm bad at children."
The driver lowered their hat down, suddenly speaking up. "Hi." Both of them in the backseat was startled, "The fuck, chongyun?"
Chongyun snickered, focusing on the road. "You work as a taxi driver? That's fucking neat." Scaramouche said, "Yes, College is quite... expensive. I want to go with the same College Xingqiu wants to go in."
"That's so sweet. #When."
And the rest of the trip were Scaramouche teasing both of them, and that's why this time Childe didn't payed for the taxi bills.
They got out of the car, the purple-haired boy scratched his hair. "Wow, are you sure this is a house."
Diluc's house. A fucking brewery manor, grapevines planted outside, and no one seemed to be working there. "This is why I love drinking in his bar."
They followed the path which lend them onto the huge ass doors. Scaramouche didn't wasted anytime and opened the door by the handle that looks very much expensive. Surprisingly enough, it was unlocked.
The moment they entered, 4 kids looked at them with shock. A kid in red was chasing another kid in blue, a tanuki kid sleeping on the ground, and a cat-like-kid bullying Thoma.
"Fudge! Help me!"
It's gonna be a long ass day.
3 bros gay to each other and they babysit
"What the fudge happened here?!" Scaramouche slammed his both of his hands on the coffee table dramatically. "Adults are funny!" The kid in red laughed.
"Okay, introductions first, young ladies." Childe smiled, "They bullied me!" Thoma patted a shiba dog besides him. "Dude, why's Taroumaru here?"
"Because I want him to be here?"
"Hi! I'm Klee! I found a very weird lizard in Diluc's house, want me to show you? I like blowing up fish!" The girl chimed in with an energetically.
"I'm Qiqi." The other spoke, hugging her knees together. This one is so sad to look at, Childe thought.
"I'm Sayu." She added, and proceed to get knocked out and snored. Yup, just like that. "Oh archons! Are you alright?" Thoma said worriedly, because damn that thud was definitely loud.
"I'm Diona, and I hate here! I want to go out! Ugh, being here in that Diluc guy's house is disgusting me! But I like playing with Klee so whatever!" Scaramouche almost rolled his eyes at that, "Just uhm.. sit tight everyone." He tried sounding nice.
Childe gestured for them to come over, and they made a circle by putting their hands to their shoulders. "So, what's the plan? We going full AD or DEF?" Scaramouche whispered.
"No, we have no plans at all." Thoma answered, sighing up. "Also, you look bussin', Mochi." Thoma and his Snezhnayan twin chucked, the purple-haired boy could only huff in annoyance.
"I'm bad at children, I only came because.. this i-idiot here!" His ears becoming red by the time, "Okay then, sorry. I'm good at children, so don't worry guys."
"Okay, Childe with the (Childe)ren and Scaramouche.... just sweep the floor, god damn it. And I'm gonna cock, I mean cook."
"Fuck all of you." Scaramouche was the first one to break their circle, Childe wouldn't stop laughing.
Klee came up to Scaramouche, held his hands and started dragging him. "Come with us, pretty man!" He could only mouth 'save me' to them before laughing nervously.
On the sofa, Sayu and Qiqi cuddled together and slept. Thoma grabbed a blanket from a room he doesn't know who belonged too, but with how much sex toys there were on the bed, he's gonna assume it was Kaeya's room.
"That naughty woman..." Childe whispered under his breath before snorting. And with that, Thoma went to do his main quest,
Damn fuck, why do I say cock instead of cook, something's wrong with me...
He shrugged off that thought and begun searching for some ingredients in the refrigerator, not to mention how fucking fancy Diluc's kitchen was! Thoma kinda felt rich for the moment of time there.
Back with Childe, he tried searching, but not for ingredients, but for Scaramouche. That
cute dwarf suddenly disappeared in a flash, he doesn't know where those two kids brought him in.
xiao's property: SO LIKE WHY'RE THEY BABYSITTING @captaine @Diluc @kya
kya: uuugghh duh??
captaine: kaeya suggested it...
🎆: i mean daddy diluc here is fucking richy as fuck
xiao's property: bbg hu tao you literally changed your name so many times
awoootao: oh my you actually noticed ugh ilysm 😘😘
kya: duh y'all
kya: i freaaaaking suffer babysitting those 4
kya: AND I HAVE NOOO IDEA WHERE SAYU AND QIQI KID CAME FROM
awoootao: qiqi said she a zombie
kya: and i see more possibilities on scarachilde team than chili sorry y'all
luminescent: i heard you
luminescent changed ginger fucker to 💦
luminescent changed mochi to ☂️
luminescent changed nickname to lumine☔
kya: oh my fucking god smart
kya: and yes i want to see them suffer what ive suffered
Albedo: Oh, you're bad.
kya: mhm yesh im reallyyy bad
kya: or was that an insult
Scaramouche came back, looking like a house wife ready to clean up the whole house,
and how he got fucking forced to dress like a disney princess.
"Haha! Klee heard Scubamoosuchu is sweeping!" The girl said proudly, and Scaramouche wanted to die right on the spot when his two homies looked at him almost laughing.
Childe taking out his phone, not his wallet this time, and started spinning around Scaramouche to take selfies. "I'm gonna change my PFP to this!"
"This is kinda the best day of my 19 years life in earth." Thoma wheezed.
💦 [sent a photo]
xiao's property: NICE PFP CHILDE
kya: aw thats cute
☂️: FUXK YOU DELETE THAT BEFOEE EVRYONE SEES IT
kya set nickname to kya☔
👻bootao: @☂️ u single, shwaty? 😞👉👈
lumine☔: yes very single
👻bootao: @💦 zhongdaddy is cosplaying a half-dragon hot male sugar daddy in your area
xiao's property: what y'all costume for halloween
kya☔: succubus :3~
👻bootao: a zombie, me and qiqi will dress as a zombie muahahah
kya☔: pls childe amogus is alresdy dead
☂️: i know, childe unupdated loololololol
Kaedehara: I'm dressing up as a wanderer. I do not need any candies or anything, I just want to admire the scenery of the fall's halloween.
Albedo: I have no costumes, or I wish to take a part in a halloween event. I also wish to admire the scenery and paint it in my beautiful white canvas to
☂️: ughh just stop we already know okay
Kaedehara: The night's been lonely, and shit's been so fucking bad Injust want it all tos stoisujmp
Kaedehara: Fuck. You know what, I can't bottle all these feelings up, I can't stand you being here Scaramouche.
xoxorissaa: oh my
Kaedehara: Fuck you just wht did you do yht to tomo i judt l, please why? can yiu tell me why just say it you fucking
👻bootao: ayo thats really... cut it out
💦: what's happening fucking hell you two should talk in private y'know
☔: fucjing kaedehara kazuha how dare you fcuking point the fingers on me, did you actually thought youre the only soul that got their entire life ruined
☔: did you fucking know how much hatred i got from people surrounding me because of your shit ass rumors about how i drove tomo to kill himself?
☔: why? why would you think like yhat i
Scaramouche ran, even with his clothes like that, he ran far away from them. He wiped off his tears as he tried opening the fucking huge doors in Diluc's home.
"Hey, mochi! I just saw your MSG in the GC! It's fine!" Thoma tried to reach out to him, worriedly. "Mochi! Don't leave Klee! And that's Mommy Jean's 15th birthday dress!" Klee yelled.
Scaramouche immediately froze, "What the fuck? You're Jean's...?"
"No, daddy said Klee is adopted!"
"What the fuck?" Scaramouche fell on his knees, making them startled but suddenly burst into laughter, "Jean wore this?" He continued to wheeze, trying to picture the Master Jean wearing this in her 18th birthday.
By the time he went to get up, Childe was there and offered him a hand. "You okay?" His fucking fragile heart... fuck. He grabbed the hand, "No."
Thoma patted his shoulder all of the sudden, and the four children surrounded them. "Wanna talk about it?" Scaramouche could only shrug, his eyes very sore.
Klee and Qiqi tried comforting him by hugging his thighs, Diona and Sayu were missing. "Fucking drama." He rolled his eyes, "Don't worry, guys."
so i saw a tweet about kazuha breaking down from his poetry shit and just breaks the entire table down and started saying stupid shit
and i want scaramouche to be sensitive af just like a tsundere haha but add some incredible mood swings there
updates might slow down as in, slow down because i hit the biggest writer's block ive ever had
Chapter 15: gc 9
haishancrux: @☂️ Ayo, I'm really sorry about Kazuha.
Rich Auntie Ning: He had it rough, you know.
metealxin: ye, kinda hurts my heart to see him like that
Yan(Law)Fei: And you thought making him listen to slipknot for hours will mke him feel better?
metealxin: i mean it works for me 🤔
☂️: fucking liyuens got his back big hopeee all
haishancrux: of course
💦: succesful fucking babysitting, we're on the way to the nearest bar here or something
💦: @❄️ thoma said we should go to a strip club and fuck some strippers with a maniac smile on his face 😷
❄️: 👁️ oh.. well i trust he will never say that or anything
thomato: aw i love you too
💦: fjck thats so sweet #when
xiao's property: @☂️
❄️: also huhu ayato-niisan is always checking my phone, u should unsend it !
🎆: lowkey wanna beat up ayato
☂️: heyy everyone im sooo sorry for the meltdown i hope all of you dont mind. it was very immature of me.
Kaedehara: I'm sorry, too. I guess.
haishancrux: fuck, i love you both so much peace is so peaceful
Rich Auntie Ning: My advice for you two is to talk it out. Those kind of things should be cleared.
☂️: heyy ty for the advice it means a lot to me.
☂️: so uh where r u rn haha @Kaedehara
💦: good thing we're going to liyue
xiao's property: GOOD THING WE HAVEN'T LEFT AND I WON A HUGE GAMBLE WHETHER CHILDE IS GOING TO LIYHE OR STAYING IN MOND AAAAA MY PREDICTIONS ARE AWESOME!!!!!
ven's property: ily.
moramona: aw cmon, if i can only transform to water i wouldve traveled faster
Albedo: I can buy you the highest quality of grape wines, don't be sad.
kya☔: love you so muchhhhhh
kya☔: and yaaaay great news everyoneeeeeeeeeee
☂️: hiii ms alberich what's the news
👻bootao: okay that's actually kinda scary but shawty's like a melody in my head 😱😱😱😱😱
kya☔: diluc and jean are uh engaged
💦: holy fucking fuck shit
xiao's property: FUCK????!!? HOLY MOLLY BARBATOS
xiao's property: IM SO FUCKING HAPPY FOR BOTH OF YOU AAA I LOVE YOU BOTH @DILUC @CAPGITSNE
🎆: OMGGGG CONGRATSSSSS <3 <3
👻bootao: CONGRATULATIOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONSSS I WISH Y'ALL HAVE A NICE LIFE AND FUCKING INVITE ME TO THE WEDDING OR I 👹
☂️: congrats!! wishing you both good luck
windgliderchampion: hey!! i just saw this recently and wow
xoxorissaa: aww my sweet ex gf good luck on your wedding!!! 😘💞
moramona: ohhhhhh my archons congrats @Diluc @captaine !
fishyelle: OH MY GLOB YOU BOTH ARE DINGDONGS BUT CONGRATS!!!! 💜💜
ven's property: the result of non-stop watching adventure time. congrats jean, diluc.
ko²mi: congrats from inazuma!!!
🎆: HEY HEY HEYY IF U NEED FIREWORKS FOR YOUR WEDDING MY COMPANY CAN SUPPLY TONS
metealxin: congrats from liyue!!!
kya☔: so that was a lot of msg in a minute
kya☔: just so yknow i am not happy abouy this
Albedo: I... Me too.
captaine: ...i um- thank you so much, everyone.
Diluc: I also don't feel happy about this.
Diluc: It was a force marriage, everyone.
Diluc: Father wants grandson already with my almost 5 months girlfriend, it's too.. fast.
captaine: but heyy.. we already adopted 2 kids hahaha
💦: right........... forgot about that part
Diluc: Makes sense, perhaps I just feel nervous and all.
kya☔: i highkey want to marry u @Albedo
xiao's property: ok no more uwus stop it
kya☔: cry about it 👴
Chapter 16: private message 4
luminescent and mochi's private dms last week
no one asked for what happened between scara and dain but i am still going to do one B)
i hope y'all enjoying these shits i write 😭
and i gave up on editing their names and things so i hope u dont mind
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
luminescent: so mind telling the tale now
mochi: hm? what tale
luminescent: the fuck happened between you and dain
mochi: oooo yes him
mochi: he likes aetheeeerrrr lumineee
mochi: and i feel like an idiot for liking him
luminescent: your messed up fragile heart dude
luminescent: and thats the exact reason why i tried yknow
luminescent: i care for my brother too
luminescent: im sorry
mochi: bro its fine i just tjought that hes very cool and stuff like that
mochi: hes almost like zhongli, talking about historical stuffs about uhhh khareirnah? while having this "i am an atheist" vibe
luminescent: hes my second brother, older than me but i treat him like a child
luminescent: why do you know about zhongli talking about
mochi: i observe?? childe talks a lot about him
luminescent: also calm your tits man im sure childe wouldnt like you
mochi: this is why you are my bestfriend
luminescent: its just the truth
mochi: I know
luminescent: you deserve better scara
luminescent: aether likes childe too srsly whats up with him hes so lame
mochi: oooo damn u also like him
luminescent: WELL used to okay
mochi: so dain likes aether but aether likes childe and childe likes zhongli but zhongli????
luminescent: zhongli is in love with hu tao i think so
mochi: fucking teenage drama shits ugh so tried of it
luminescent: aaandd shit dain's here bc aeth invited him in oops
luminescent: change it to dain and aether like each other scara is for childe and childe likes zhongli but zhongli likes hu tao??????
mochi: fuxk you
i cant find the right english translation for marupok sry
scara marupok supremacy 🙇
Chapter 17: At the bar > pt 1
Childe, being the shit-head he was, rented a bar in Liyue for 2 days. Venti with Xiao rushing for some free drinks, Scaramouche and Kazuha have some serious aura while they stare at each other (violently), and Childe relentlessly exchanging eye contacts with Zhongli and now he thinks they share a romantic relationship all of the sudden.
VERYY VERY CHAOTIC ! 👍
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
kya☔: wait wait, what did you say?
metealxin: like i said,
metealxin: scaramouche (i believe thats his name) childe, thoma, venti, xiao, beidou, kazuha, yanfei, hu tao and some guy named huffman are knocked up in the bar and won't wake up
Noelle: Could you please repeat it again with voice message this time? If you can...😁
20 hours earlier
"So, uh I believe everyone is here?" Childe asked, raising an eyebrow as he glance at every single faces in the tavern. "Very much so." Zhongli grinned, that definitely not almost melted Childe's heart.
"Let's start the freaking early halloween party!!!!" Xiangling yelled, raising her hands up but no one cheered back. "Halloween's in 11 days, chillax Xiang." Xinyan patted her back.
"I'm sorry, I really get excited about halloween because I'm entering a halloween cooking event!" Xinyan could only laugh.
moramona: fucking lucky liyuens ugh
metealxin: game night lasted about one and a half day, so many booze and laughter!
metealxin: @Barbara! and i rocked some music y'know what 'm saying?
moramona: i heard youre very good at it, and now i really want to hear your concerts
moramona: ughh childe is friends with rich people what about me!!
moramona: the whole harbinger squad are his friends what the fuck!
xoxorissaa: aw honey that's fine😆
Noelle: Do not worry, Ms. Mona! I can get you in Knights of Favonius if you would like to!
moramona: ugh, noelle do you think they would want to hear about astrology
moramona: KOF are literally bunch of idiots, who doesnt care and doesnt deserve an astrologist
captaine: i do believe what you say about astrology, ms mona...
Diluc: I agree with the whole Knights of Favonius are literally bunch of idiots.
captaine: babe, i work there...
Diluc: I know, and you are an exception, okay? I really love you.
kya☔: fucking sweethearts, diluc had a crush for you since elementary jean
captaine: what?... oh .
xoxorissaa: aw thats really sweet of you diluc
kya☔: it took them lots of lots of years to be together, my brother's sooooo soooo bad at feelings im so sorry jean ) :
The door was knocked down, and beidou appeared with a man on her hand and with the Liyue Qixing....
"Ayo! I heard ginger-hair here is throwing a reunion party, huh?" Venti grabbed Xiao's hand and walked confidently to show that they didn't missed the party.
"Oh, Kazuha... and Mochi?" Keqing tilted her head, "Are you guys..." okay? Was the thing she was going to say before the darkness between the two's heated staring contest zipped her mouth tight.
"Anyways, uh, welcome to Liyue!" Ganyu cheered, she threw the flowers on her hands like confettis.
"We haven't started yet, but why is Huffman doing here..." Thoma's grim reaper was so ready to take him to the land of the dead with how much he laughed, it felt like he was gonna die.
"Oh, Huffman's his name. We picked him up, he was flirting with some men, pretty much slacking off and not doing his job right." Yanfei chimed in and after that she was lost in her own thoughts.
Childe could only look at it weirdly, but let it aside for now. "Xin, you can start the music now!" He cheered and so does everyone else.
"Do not judge, this is my first time DJ'ing!" She yelled, a hand in the air like Michael Jackson before starting spitting good ass music.
Except with Kazuha and Scaramouche, "So... Mister Tartaglia, what's up with those two?" Keqing finally tried her gangster tone and some hand signs there, "Uhhhhhh, I don't actually know other than they're so rich."
"Oh, why would ya say that huh?" Keqing tried to be intimidating, "Uhhhhhh because, they're so rich, they bought their own world to be lost in unlike Yanfei here. Also GTG Xiansheng's waiting for me!" His perfect liyuen accent is finally back.
Except Zhongli fucking sat beside Scaramouche and Kazuha like a mob boss that easily passed the barrier between the reality and their own world.
He grabbed a bucket of beer with ice before praying for archons to let him inside so he could at least go back with their oh-so-romantic exchanging with eye contacts, because he knew this shit should keep on going.
And for the love of the Snezhnaya queen, he got pass through the barrier. Zhongli sat between Kazuha and Scaramouche and he tried to squeeze in without saying anything.
He gave him a beer silently, but Zhongli politely excused him not to. "I only drink tea." He whispered. Childe nodded, "So, what's the situation here, sir?"
"They're trying to argue about something in their own fantasies, and I do think this is wildly interesting. However, I want them to stop.. if I could only make them.." Oh archons, he swore to Rex Lapis he saw Zhongli pout!
"Okay fine. Scara-bell, oh my Scara-bell!" Him doing his gayest tone ever in front of Zhongli is.. "Scara-bell, I'm going to use your beautiful picture took earlier in-"
"No!! Fuck you, stop!!" Scaramouche finally snapped out of it and jumped on Childe to wrap his hands around his throat. "You red haired bitch!" He widened his eyes as he gently choke Childe.
"Woah for Morax's sake, calm down. We're um.. just trying to check in, air's so tight here." Childe awkwardly laughed and Scaramouche finally calmed down.
eatheer: scaramouche's so scary!
lumine☔: not really, that mf is very idk
lumine☔: hes just basically a tsundere, has incredible mood swing, and he stalks everyone like princess bubblegum
fishyelle: I MEAN PB'S GOOD RIGHT SHES REALLY SWEET AND CARES FOR HER CANDY PEOPLE
lumine☔: she stalks everyone, hello?????
eatheer: okieee but why do you have ☔ that haha
Noelle: I have backread a lot, and I do think they are very sweet..? to each other...
lumine☔: just ship scarachilde and shut up aether
eatheer: 😭helppp sister so mean to meee!
"Oh.. Mister Zhongli, Wangsheng's Funeral Consultant, it's very nice... seeing you here." Kazuha calmly let a relief sigh, "I believe your name is Kaedehara Kazuha? The new sailor of Miss Beidou's ship." Zhongli—
"Fuck! Stop with the politeness, okay! Just... let me-" Childe shoved a beer in front of Scaramouche, "Fucking calm down man, my y'know is here."
And after a few more bottle there and here, even after drinking so fucking much, Kazuha and Scaramouche never speak to each other.
"So... what the hell happened here?" The invisible barrier has been lifted and everyone danced their way to talk to a very much 3 drunkards, Thoma shouted the question since the music was really loud.
"I don't fucking know Thoma! I don't know shit between these two!" Childe yelled back, and proceed drinking two beers at the same time.
"Oh, hey Thoma." Scaramouche said seductive, "Don't freak out man, he's kinda like that when drunk and no, I am not drunk."
"Alright, buckle up. Big boy thomas the train is gonna land, make a way." Thoma sat on the seat beside a very happy Childe that invaded Zhongli's personal space.
"Hey, Kazuha." Scaramouche called out.
"The fuck you want." was the thing he replied and suddenly played chords with his guitar that he pretty much brought it with him.
"I really, really liked you."
I JUST THOUGHT ABOUT A KEQING PRETENDING TO BE A GANGSTER AND JUST ENDED UP BEING A CLOWN
and next chap might be serious
I DONT KNOW YALL I KNOW I SAID I HIT THE BIGGEST WRITERS BLOCK BUT UR COMMENTS REALLY KEPT ME GOING
tysm for reading! 😭💕💕
Chapter 18: At the bar > pt 2 //spoilers alert
Getting back together.
"I really, really liked you."
Thoma almost spit all the drinks he had, and Childe furrowed in confusion. "And why do you say that, Mister Scaramouche?" Oh, now Childe gets it.
Zhongli wants to be be a support here and let their bottled up feelings out to forgive their selves.
"I used to like you so much, back then." That caught Kazuha off his thick ass guard and it somehow enraged him. "Despite my relationship with Tomo?"
"I.. yes. I just couldn't handle it, you were.. very nice and gentle." His voice cracking, shit he must be very drunk. "Go on, we're making a progress here." Zhongli whispered to himself.
"What? What are you saying? Is that the reason why you manipulated the.. love of my life to.. to kill himself?" He scoffed, Kazuha looked like he was gonna tear up.
"It wasn't fucking me! How much do I need to tell you!" Scaramouche slammed the table, luckily the music was loud or else they might've attracted a lot of stares and it would ruin the part. "Guys, let's calm our selves." Thoma pushed Scaramouche back on his seat by his shoulder.
"I have 3 sisters, we are a quadruplets. The three of them are very, very identical, while me," He chuckled, the four of them listened and he continued. "Rei, Ei, Makoto and me, the only one who has a long name, Scaramouche."
"Oh... I didn't know Ei has siblings." Zhongli furrowed his eyebrows in worry. "Rei is a rebel in Inazuma and the sweetest sister I've ever had, Ei is running the city of eternity alone, while Makoto... she passed away."
"When mother and dad split up, I went with dad and the separation felt like actual fucking eternity. I went to Inazuma to visit my family only to find out Makoto died. Ei-neesan was... she kept blaming herself, while Rei, she didn't even give any shit."
"And that's where you met Tomo." Kazuha chimed in, "Yes, and because of Tomo, I met you." He smiled wryly, Kazuha immediately switched seats and sat beside Scaramouche.
The purple-haired boy let his head fall down and it landed straightly on Kazuha's shoulder. "Rai manipulated all of us."
"Us?" Childe asked, Thoma on the other hand was sniffing on a blanket. "Kujou Sara, and me. The reason Tomo killed himself was because of Rei. He... challenged Rei for a battle, but Sara faced him."
"And... he lost." Zhongli sighed, "I saw it all. When he lost, he immediately stabbed his own weapon in his throat and.. collapsed, that easily."
"Sara left Inazuma that day, we were traumatized. We didn't knew Rai's terms were like this."
"..Raiden Rei is a rebel in Inazuma, she's been hunted down for years, yet no one could catch her. How did Tomo reached out to her? Or are you lying to us." Kazuha's eyes darkened, Scaramouche purred and shook his head.
"I didn't knew Rei was gonna start a rebellion and we worked under her, to help her with her 'important things'. It didn't felt good to be manipulated." Scaramouche softly sobbed, the beer they drank weren't that strong. Perks of being a Snezhnayan, good fucking alcohol tolerance.
"I'm so sorry... Kazuha. Even though I knew you guys were together, and it was all just a one-sided shit, I still liked you. I never wished for Tomo to... to-"
"I... Scara... I should be the one who's sorry here. I acted like an immature brat for years!" He laughed, but no humor in his voice. "I'm so fucking sorry, I really am."
Thoma smiled softly at the view in front of his eyes, Childe continued his drinking but was listening (and constantly looking at Zhongli, but he never looked back) While Zhongli smirked excitedly like an old dad watching horse racing on the TV.
Oh, he missed cuddling with Kazuha and that's a fact. The other one... was just missing.
"So, Sir Zhongli," Thoma slipped in, "Please call me Zhongli." He nodded, and damn he really wants to praise Childe for having a crush on this man. "So Zhongli, are you mayhaps single?" Childe owes me this one.
"Oh no, I very much have a sweet loving lover. She in fact recently moved in with me." All of their mouth suddenly pretty much dropped on the ground.
metealxin: childe and scaramouche drank together and pretending to have a bartender playing some sad jazz while non stop playing "give me a drink bartender" and laughing at it continuously.
chefxiang!: They stopped around 5 AM! It's 9 AM now! 😥
metealxin: when i was gonna use bathroom, i saw keqing and ganyu making ou
kya☔: OKAY Y'ALL HAD A GOOD TIME ITS FINE
moramona: @metealxin is childe and scaramiuche dying
metealxin: oh i think theyre celebrating they kept laughing so 😂
Yan(Law)Fei: It was a good night. @💦 Thank you for paying for everyone, and the bar.
soundofmoney: @💦 ty 4 da na8
cocogoat: @metealxin !!!! y-you saw...?
metealxin: yeah of course
Noelle: That was indeed a wild story, haha! I'm on my way to clean up the bar! No traffic, so I'm okay!
metealxin: it is 😂 xingqiu and everyone was cheering up for beidou and ningguang make out!!
metealxin: we tried pushing @book lover, okay? and @iceyboypopsible together to kiss y'know
metealxin: they were adorable that night 😂
captaine: wait... noelle's coming there to..?
Noelle: Yes! I have an open business, I can clean up everything for 6000 mora only!
xoxorissaa: oh my, have fun my dear 😘
Noelle: Thank you, Lisa!
metealxin: me and xiang are gonna wake up everyone
metealxin: thanks for the incoming help noe!
rei, ei, and makoto
rai is ei's puppet in game the scary woman rai(den shogun)
ei is ei
makoto is baal, ei's sister that passed away
Y'ALL SHOULD TRY GUESSING WHO'S ZHONG'S LOVER SHHSHSHAHAHA
Chapter 19: gc 10
☂️: IM SO HUNGOVEEEEER THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT AJAX
kya☔: ara ara whats with the sudden detergent name calling huh
👻bootao: that was the best night ever, @☂️ it was nice getting to know you better!
xiao's property: Y'ALL WEAKLINGS MYAHAHAHAHAHAAH
💦: i really am not in the mood
💦: but hey @👻bootao sorry for y'know
👻bootao: what y'know
💦: i just
💦: three fucking months of being friends with him, to liking him and to loving him,
💦: i didn't knew he had a lover. in fact, 6 years girlfriend
☂️: when did you
thomato: fuck me, im so sorry snezhnayan twin brother, if i didnt asked that question
xiao's property: ????????????
xiao's property: @venti's property please explain my love..
☂️: that's really
💦: damn it hurts so much
captaine: oh... sorry to hear that childe
moramona: condolence from mondstadt
Yan(Law)Fei: Hey, cheer up. Condolence from Liyue.
🎆: anddd condolence from inazuma.
💦: fuuuuuck me
❄️: thoma!!!! thomaa!!!!
thomato: oh no uh yes waka??
❄️: ms. xingyan said you were knocked up in the bar!!! how much did you drank!!!!!!!!!!!!
☂️: UHOH LOL GOTTA RUN FROM AYATO NOW HUH
ko²mi: gonna kick his ass if he wont fucking approve of my ship.
thomato: it was a free drinks how can i refuse?
fangowhoosh(ayaka) left the group chat
🎆: LMAO YOU'RE SO FUCKING DEAD THOMA
👻bootao: SO UH HEY @💦 IM NOT GOOD IN VALORANT BUT I FIGURED WE SHOULD Y'KNOW PLAY
☂️: can i join
lumine☔ added dainslept in the group chat
eatheer: nooo!! sister not like this! 😭😭
lumine☔: everyone, meet dainsleif, aether's new crush
💦: welcome lol
eatheer: @💦 hey childe! 😾 did you know lumine has a huge crush on you?
lumine☔: what the fuck? fuck you, i never wtf fuck you i really
☂️: oh wow ok
dainslept: Hey, everyone.
dainslept: @eatheer Hi.
lumine☔: HA HA guess what childe aether also has a huge crush on you lmfaooo right aether
💦: oh i didn't know that
dainslept: I see.
Albedo: @dainslept Dain, my old friend. It's nice meeting you here.
Albedo: To this... I don't know, strange group chat.
table sugar: @dainslept Mr. Dain! I hope you're gonna come by the lab later!
eatheer: sister what the hoot!!
eatheer: this is so unfair!!! and i used to okay!!!
the only guy i have a huge crush on as in huge like a dinosaur is dainsleif please!!!!!!
eatheer unsent a message
☂️: i definitely saw that
captaine: i definitely saw that (1)
kya☔: i definitely saw that (2)
table sugar: i definitely saw that (3)
dainslept: Oh.. Aether.
dainslept: I like you too. Very much. Huge like a Dreadnoughtus.
lumine☔: SEE ITS NOT THAT FUCKING HARD OKAY
lumine☔: AND NO I USED TO HAVE A HUGE CRUSH ON CHILDE NOT NOW
venti's property: @xiao's property i'm sorry, my boo. my cousin and i had an agreement about keeping his secret lover as a secret. and i really do not want childe any near my cousin. but i do love you, really much, i hope you know that.
xiao's property: aw, my poopoo head! i really like it when youre honest with me and i understand all what u said! and i know you love me, really much thats why you are kept in the depths of my heart where a special place is hidden ♡
fishyyelle: i wanna fucking kill myself over this
sarakujou: dont please.
fishyyelle: okayyy for you, i wont BUT WHAT THE FUCK THEY'RE SITTING TOGEHTER AND TEXTING SWEET SHITS ON THE PHOBE WHY CANT YOU JUST
moramona: silence, third wheel.
moramona: jk! ily fishh no homo 💘
sarakujou: i'm asking kindly, back off, ms. mona.
fishyyelle: i love you too sara dhshsshahahhhssmsmsmsmskpaishuqqdzzxnnsjsj
sarakujou: i love you more, i miss you too.
lumine☔: feeling sooo stupid because i liked childe!!! childe is lame ok why wkulf i like him like eewww
💦: that actually hurt
💦: maube thats the rwason why zhongli doesnt lke me abxk dddndnmnmdmdmmakalaoowoifiueiisksdnxnaoowiidiidi
🎆: MAN'S SPEAKING DOKI DOKI LITERATURE CLUB LANGUAGE I CAN'T 😭
Chapter 20: gc 10
FATUI // HARBINGER squad teasing Scaramouche
☂️: CHAT IS DEAD FOR A WEEK WHERE'S CHILDE
☂️: and yes we got home safely thank you for asking
xiao's property: @eveyone @eveyone @eveyone
xiao's property: WAKE UP PLSSS TALK TO ME
venti's property: hi, love.
UnluckyLucky: Hi! @eveyone
our little wolfie: hiiiiiii
xoxorissaa: hey cuties 😬
💦 added La Signora, II Dottore, Pulcinella and 4 more to the group
💦: I'll be gone for days, go talk to these guys
☂️: my fucking god DON'T NFUCKING ADD THEM HERE FUCK ME
xiao's property: OH MY GAAAWWDDD
xiao's property: @👻bootao
xiao's property: @🎆
❄️: omg! its pulcinella! im a fan ^~^
Pulcinella: Ajax has friends other than me? /j
👻bootao: OH MY FUXKING GOD UTS LA SIGNORA OH MY OH MY OH MY IM YOUR BIGGEST AIR CONDITIONER PLEASEEEEEEEEEEE
🎆: LAAAAAA SIGNORAAA-SAMAAAAAAA 🙇🙇🙇🙇🙇🙇🙇🙇 WELCOME TO THE GROUP I AM SO GLAD TO HAVE TOU HWRE OH MY GOD
xoxorissaa: oh my, la signora. i am also a fan
II Dottore: no for me?
ko²mi: i'm a fan
II Dottore: thank you, lovely lady.
woofwoof: Me too!!
II Dottore: oya, its gorou-chan~
UnluckyLucky: Sir @Pierro ! I really like watching your vlogs about travelling! I learned a lot!!!
Pierro: Oh, that's nice to hear.
moramona: I'm ACTUALLY GONNA PASS OUT
moramona: CHILDE WHAT THE FUCK'S THE WHOLE HARBINGER SQUAD DOING HERE
II Dottore: Miss Mona, I've seen you through my streams recently.
Pantalone: Don't you want us here?
moramona: NOPE I'M ACTUALLY GLAD YOURER HSHERW
Pantalone: Sweet Tsaritsa, It's nice to see you here... Noelle.
thomato: oh shit, babe you watch them?
❄️: i like pulcinella, do you really not know me this much 😾
❄️: and i just thought since you play games... i might learn a lot of things when watching pulcinella... 😾
thomato: i love you so much fuckkkk 😳
Pulcinella: Damn, dats crazily cuteee
☂️: fuck me why are they even here fucccckkk
La Signora: Oh, Scaramouche.
La Signora: Thank you, ladies for continuesly watching my streams. I often see you all.
xiao's property: EHAAAAAAA REALLYYY
👻bootao: MOMMY? sorry MOMMY?? sorryy PLEASE STEP ON ME
🎆: STEP ON ME TOO ARGHHH YOURE THE ONLY STREAMER I WATCHH SRSLY
II Dottore: hurts my feelings...
ko²mi: oh do not sweat, i do like all of your books
II Dottore: interesting...
xiao's property: HER SENSE OF FASHION IS EVERYTHING AAAA I LOVR YOU SIGNORAAAAA
venti's property: okay. enough of phone.
xiao's property: WAHT NO NO NO NO XIAO YOU CANT I
La Signora: Barbatoes has a boyfriend? I've saw you once spamming in the chat.
La Signora: Hm, what's Scaramouche doing here?
☂️: fuxk you
II Dottore: my my my, mouche.
II Dottore: didn't see you there, so small.
☂️: FUCKNYOU JUST
Pulcinella: @💦 Are you okay, Ajax? I heard there's no streams this week, I'm worried
II Dottore: I see a little silhouetto of a man,
Pierro: Will you do the fandango?
La Signora: Thunder volts are lighting,
II Dottore: Very, very frightening me.
☂️: THIS IS WHY I FUXKING HATE YOU FUXK YOU ALL AAAAAAAA
👻bootao: LA SIGNORA, MY QUEEN, IS IT TRUE YOU ARE DATING MR II DOTTORE?
La Signora: Fucking media.
La Signora: No.
II Dottore: yes.
La Signora: We talked about this, love.
II Dottore: but, dear? i thought
La Signora: No is no.
👻bootao: OH MY GAWWD THEYRE DATINGGF WAAAOOOO I LOVE YOU GUYSSSS
☂️: OK WELCOME to the gc fuck you all except pulcinella
Pulcinella: Aww, that's sweet <3
UnluckyLucky: How did you guys meet???? @☂️
☂️: Well, I use to stream like really used to stream
👻bootao: WHAT DO YOU STREAM BBB
Pulcinella: A lot of gacha games
Pulcinella: He was a vtuber
☂️: NEL WHAT THE
☂️: FUCK YOU AJAX
fatui is bunch of peeps who streams in twitch its kinda like a community
the harbinger squad, if u get picked by the tsaritsa (the owner of twitch) u join the squad and stream 5 times a week
La Signora streams and uploads videos about fashion, like shes really rich and have custom made gowns and outfits that she shows to her viewers
II Dottore is a writer, streamer and his part-time job, a doctor. He recently published a lot of books about human behavior, and pretty much his research about the whole thingy about humans.
Pierro travels a lot and teaches self-defense in most of his videos. But he's a pro player like Childe.
Tartaglia is a streamer that recently got into the squad, he's new but everyone else in the chat simps for him because 1. he's good at playing literally anything, instruments, games and even with children. 2. EVERY entertaining, his streams are about games but he somehow shifts into talking about how he once jumped in a canal because he was drunk. 3. he's handsome, a very much boy friend material.
Sandrone is also a pro player, but mostly uploads about plants stuffs.
Pantalone is a alsoo a pro player, he sometimes does reviewing puzzles, or any other thing and pretty much tells a lot of tips and tricks
Just imagine pulcinella as senzawa, a shit poster and a pro player. She's really good at predicting, one time she discovered this streamer and she said, "this guy's gonna be poggin' soon." That guy was Ajax.
(Scaramouche in his glory days actually did vtubing but later on revealed himself as a 100k special, and then suddenly disappeared.)
Chapter 21: gc 11
ko²mi: @thomato dude, ayaka's not here
ko²mi: what did you do this time
☂️: @thomato heyyyy
thomato: uh yes?
☂️: do you know childe's address
lumine☔: what happened with childe
☂️: oh so you do like him after all
eatheer: she doesss!!!
eatheer: dainslept, dainleft 😴
dainslept: I wouldn't dare to leave you. You're a rare gem, and I treasure you so much.
lumine☔: i do have childe's address
☂️: k and y
lumine☔: because bruh???????
eatheer: becauseee he likess heerr ayiee☺️
lumine☔: I DON'T SHUT THE FCUK UP I FUCKING DON'T OKAYAAYYAYA
☂️: dm me later.
☂️: so dain, u r together with aether right
moramona: UGH, xiao and venti's relationship ripoff just marry each other
moramona: how old are you, sir dainslept
moramona: HOW OLD ARE YOU AETHER
eatheer: errmm 17
moramona: THE HUGE AGE DIFF??????????
booklover, okay?: hi!!!! (´∩｡• ᵕ •｡∩`)
👻boohootao: IM FUXKING SHAKING YOU TWO ARE SO CUTE
eatheer: age kinda doesn't matter !! 😷
moramona: yeah makes sense, childe literally had a 3 months crush with a 30 years old
thomato: i mean he looks really
lumine☔ added fangowhoosh(ayaka) to the group
thomato: HE LOOKS VERY VERY UHH
thomato: DANGEROUS YEAH CAUSE YOU KNOW
ko²mi: welcome back, ayakaaaaa miss u
❄️: i miss u too.
☂️: lmao u sleeping on the couch thoma
☂️: im gonna dm u later lumine about a certain matter
lumine☔: ok creep shit
eatheer: anyways! me and dain are doing good hahaha
eatheer: and yeaah age doesn't matter, right?
dainslept: I guess so.
eatheer: im going to ur house okie?
dainslept: Okay, love.
lumine☔: ugh when
☂️: same thing thst @💦 asked
☂️: just date each otherrr loool
Kaedehara: We need to talk, Scaramouche.
haishancrux: woah, you two??
Kaedehara: We talk now, is there something wrong with it?
Kaedehara: Oh, Dainsleif
eatheer: you know each other? 🤔
dainslept: ohh from liyue yes, we met in a coffee shop
☂️: mkay kazuah
haishancrux: what kazuah
Kaedehara unsent a message
☂️: OKAY THAT'S WAAAY OUT OF THE LINE
Sandrone: LMAO LMAO LMAO
II Dottore: that name is... nostalgia.
La Signora: Are you ready to get embarrassed? Kunikuzushi-chan.
Pantalone: The whole Fatui community is behind you, Scaramouche.
Pierro: Don't you think it's time to come back now?
☂️: OKAY STOP I FUDGING HATE YOU KAZUHA IM GONNA GET BACK AT YOU
Chapter 22: private message 5
Kaedehara and mochi's dms.
Kaedehara: Do you like him?
mochi: who are you talkjng about
mochi: IM GONNA UPPERCUT YOU MY CHAIR IS FUCKING MOVING GET OUT OFNMY MOTHERFUCKINING WAY
mochi: OKAY SORRY IM JUST
Kaedehara: Do you like Mr. Childe?
mochi: OKAY THAT'S REALLY OUT OF THE FUCKING LINE NO WAY
mochi: I MEAN HE'S VERY VERY LAME LIKE BACK AT THE BAR HE WAS FUCKJNV CRYING AND LAUGHING
mochi: AND IM JUST LIKE
Kaedehara: Calm down
mochi: okayy yeah i do so what
mochi: u like me???😱
Kaedehara: No, I'm still trying to move on.
mochi: im still very sorry kazuha
Kaedehara: It's fine
Kaedehara: But I do think Lumine also feels the same with Childe.
Kaedehara: Are you perhaps doing okay?
mochi: no it just feels like shit
mochi: shes better than me
mochi: and who am i to
mochi: i dont know just forget about it
Kaedehara: This is what I still hate about you.
Kaedehara: Not fucking continuing your sentence.
mochi: WHO AM I TO HAVE A WHOLESOME RELATIONSHIP I AM A HORRIBLE PERSON I'M SO SO SO SICK OF MYSELF
mochi: PEOPLE AROUND ME ARE LIKE " eh you should fix your attitude " I'M
Kaedehara: Hey, you're not so bad.
mochi: i had the fucking chance to save tomo
mochi: if i fucking checked the weird noises from his room, he would have been alive.
Kaedehara: They found a rope around...
mochi: he was fighting it, because he doesnt want that
mochi: so who am i to deserve good friends? to have a nice relationship?
mochi: last time i felt lonely, dain went off with another someone
mochi: it really ,i swear it doesng rslly that much hurt
Kaedehara: You can always try, maybe you're gonna meet your soulmate.
mochi: soul mate my ass, im giving ajax to lumine
mochi: im gonna tslk to her lol
Kaedehara: You really should try.
Kaedehara: I have a gut feeling that Childe likes you back too.
mochi: ok now you're giving me hope
mochi: i dont like that x d
Chapter 23: private message 6
luminescent and mochi's private messages
i never signed up for your drama, up for your drama, up for your drama club 🌚
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
mochi: ok be honest with me
mochi: maybe after sending childe's address
luminescent: the hell you want now
luminescent: oh right, we once visited him, he lives alone in uhhh
luminescent: moni uhh
mochi: wow hes kinda half tiny little close to me
luminescent: what you askin him on a date lololol
mochi: anyways i think childe is an alias, i thinkk tartaglia's just for aesthetics dunno
mochi: i tried doing background info sweeping but nadaa!!
luminescent: what am i suppose to say to that
mochi: whats his real name
mochi: we've been friends for weeks now why hasnt he told me anything
luminescent: why are you asking
mochi: because youre his future gf lol
luminescent: whaaa no fuck you i will never
mochi: just be honest with me
mochi: just once
luminescent: do you like him
mochi: never nuh-uh nope naaah big nono
luminescent: well i like him
luminescent: there you have it sir scaramouche
mochi: oh shit?
mochi: for real this time?
luminescent: so you do like him after all
mochi: i do
mochi: but hey you two are
mochi: good for each other
mochi: i will help you then
luminescent: help me?
luminescent: i really appreciate it but no thanks hard pass dude
mochi: cool cool
mochi: im fine with that
mochi: i accept invitations for weddings, just so y'know
mochi: if u two ever get
luminescent: thats so fast and no
mochi: i meannn u two love each oyheer much = marriage
mochi: but why did you even bother setting us both up?
luminescent: because i just thought these emotions would go away
luminescent: i just got jelly
mochi: and you set me up with dain because you want his feelings to go away
mochi: you used me
mochi: like a fucking condom
mochi: and just threw me away
luminescent: its not like that
mochi: and now im a fuxking used condom, but you still try to find a way to make me useful again
luminescent: its not like that, scara
mochi: is this the true meaning of friendship
luminescent: scaramouche what the fuck i said no its not like that
luminescent: cant you see the set up with you and childe is kinda working
mochi: what working
mochi: youre stealing him away from me now
mochi: so fuck you for that
luminescent: the fuck
luminescent: fuck you too whats up with the fucking asshole manner
mochi: im so fucking glad you didnt accepted the offer
luminescent: fuck off just go away
luminescent: good luck with your fucking puppy love shit head dont tslk to me anymore
mochi: fuck you
did you actually think scaramouche is gonna give him away just like that, man's gonna stick to childe like slime
SO I TRIED ADDING SOME CHARLES WHITE VIBES IN SCARAMOUCHE ITS UHM GOOD??? 😭😭
Chapter 24: gc 12
🎆: people from inazuma,
🎆: please hear me.
xiao's property: hey bae whachu doin 😘
👻boohootao: HEY SHAWTY BAE😳💖🌸☺️💗😪💗💘💦💦💝😷💜💞😭💘😆🤔😁
thomato: YOU NEED TO FUCKING HELP ME GUYS
thomato: PEOPLE FROM MONDSTADT
❄️: what's wrong?
🎆: NO ME FIRST PLEASE
thomato: okok sure
haishancrux: man's missing his boyfriend
Rich Auntie Ning: I miss my girlfriend.
haishancrux: coming over rn, i miss u too
🎆: SO UH WHAT DO YOU GUYS THINK, ORANGE OR RED WHAT DOES SUIT ME
👻boohootao: orange suits you baby 😘
xiao's property: red 🤔
👻boohootao: srsly babyg, orange really suits her
❄️: where r you going, yoi?
🎆: aya, im going to a blind date with this guy name itto
fishyelle: @sarakujou itto
sarakujou: ...hes still doing blind dates.
sarakujou: good luck.
🎆: OH YOU KNOW HIM?
fishyelle: hes someone from ks's hs
xiao's property: SOMEONE'S BEEN WATCHING TOO MUCH ADVENTURE TIME
sarakujou: " hes someone from kujou sara's highschool ".
thomato: alsoo yoimiya, you should go for orange faded to red dress i just thought it would look good on you
❄️: what about me.
👻boohootao: pls ayaka thoma judt marry each toehr img gonna 😭😭☠️
thomato: wakaaa @❄️ you're beautiful just the way you are anddd i rllyy reallyy love you
thomato: that's why i'm courting you, i just need to wait for your brother's approval and yknoww
❄️: i love u 2 ☺️💝
🎆: OKAY ANYWAYS IM GONNA TAKE THOMA'S ADVICE AND FUCKING ROCK THIS BLIND DATE
🎆: I WANT A RELATIONSHIP LIKE MY BABY VENTI HERE WITH XIAO IM ☠️
👻boohootao: huhu same, i feel like they aint gonna date me since im literally a director in a funeral ☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️
xiao's propety: BABE, YOU TALK TOO MUCH ABOUT DEATH
thomato: okay my turn
thomato: PEOPLE OF MONDSTADT ESPECIALLY YOU ACTING GRAND MASTER JEAN PLEASE
thomato: @captaine @Noelle @xoxorissaa @kya☔
Noelle: At your service, even if it's in discord!
xoxorissaa: heyy cutie 💕
thomato: TAROUMARO IS MISSING I TRIED CALLING IT OUT IN KOF
thomato: NO ONR WANTS TO TAKE ME SERIOUSLY FUCKING
Noelle: I'm on my way to your door step!
❄️: what did you do this time?
kya☔: okay u got this noelle
kya☔: we're kinda in a middle of an investigation in diluc's bar with jean and lisa
thoma: @❄️ I LEFT HIM HOME BUT I DIDNT REALIZED HE COULD OPEN DOORS????
xiao's property: OKAY WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED TO MY FAVORITE BAR
kya☔: diluc's bar is a possible spot to trade and sell drugs
kya☔: shits so crazy but im wearing hoodies so im cool todayy
Albedo: Are you even listening to us, Kae?
❄️: thoma, please make sure tarou is safe😾
thomato: of course, hes the second love of my life 😔
❄️: who's the first
thomato: you of couse, wakaa~
🎆: huge when
ko²mi: @💦 i need to be an admin now
💦 made ko²mi an administrator
ko²mi: are you lurking childe
☂️: @💦 open the door soon im omw 😈
💦: wtf what
lumine☔: i fucking knew it
lumine☔ cleared nickname
Chapter 25: gc 13
Kaedehara: Is Scaramouche dating Childe now
haishancrux: why are you asking kazoo? 🤔
👻boohootao: that's very sussy HMMMM HMMM
kya☔: sussy indeed
👻boohootao: so whyd you ask kazuha
Kaedehara: Because I'm his friend.
kya☔: okay son
Pulcinella: I saw them in a coffee shop this morning, do you think they're going on a date
eatheer: sis 😔
eatheer: fly to snezhnaya too?
dainslept: It's your choice to go after him.
moramona: ok what the fuck is happening
moramona: does childe have a love triangle
fishyelle: i think so what the fuck
🎆: GREAT NEWS GUYSSSSSS
🎆: @thomato @❄️
thomato: YOUR GUY THOMAS THE TRAIN HERE IS FINALLY DATING KAMISATO AYAKA THE LOVE OF MY LIFE
thomato: I AM SO FUCKING HAPPY AYATO FINALLY, FINALLY GAVE HIS APPROVAL
❄️: ( ˘ ³˘)♥
thomato: ive been courting her for over a year now
ko²mi: oh my god really
ko²mi: i gave ayato the possible outcomes if he doesnt want u two to be together
ko²mi: just some made up threats
thomato: i love you so mucchh wakaaa
❄️: me too ☺️
booklover, okay?: 😔
iceyboypopsicle: are you okay, xingqiu?
booklover, okay?: i am but im really jelly 🙃
iceyboypopsicle: oh, okay
👻boohootao: WHAT OH OKAY, GO DATE XINGQIU CHONGYUN WHAT GHS FUCK
thomato: oh shit?
thomato: scara and childe are dating?
☂️: what no
Kaedehara: Scaramouche, are you two
☂️: No uh absolutely not
haishancrux: are you sure
Pulcinella: Childe and I are dorm mates ☺️
Pulcinella: He showed up at the door and knocked once
xiao's property: OKAY SCARAMOUCHE AND CHILDE DATING?!?!!
☂️: no i said no
Pulcinella: Yes, not dating but went out
Pulcinella: Rn they're making a large ruin guard snow man
☂️: are you stalking us
☂️: ugh whatever
thomato: damn dude good luck
thomato: thomas the train and with his beautiful gorgeous pretty cute hot gf are cheering up for you
❄️: ure 2 sweet 😷
thomato: i love u rrally muxh
👻boohootao: ok fuck ok ok lovers
thomato: @❄️ iloveoyu ❤️
xiao's property: @venti's property i wuv u my sol
venti's property: @xiao's property i love u, my luna.
fishyelle: i amf ucking done aifh this fuck it
fishyelle: @sarakujou i fjxking love you
sarakujou: o @fishyelle me 2.
eatheer: @dainslept !
dainslept: @eatheer !
👻boohootao: i have no one 🌚🌚🌚
👻boohootao: OH MY GOD WHAT
Barbara!: Hello, everyone!
metealxin: yeaaah barbara's the girl I've been trying to tell you @haishancrux
haishancrux: MU? good luck
☂️: oh fuck me i fuxking hate this
☂️: stop flirting here please 😐
eatheer: guys calm down for a second
eatheer: someones about to uhh
luminescent: okay @💦 I like you
Chapter 26: gc 14
luminescent and 💦, big time
luminescent: i really really like you, childe
eatheer: yeeeupp im going byebye!!!
kya☔: but sweetie... i thought ☔ forever...
fishyelle: @sarakujou babe, get popcorn
sarakujou: making one right now.
Pulcinella: Mind sharing?
💦: i said im gonna be gone for days
💦: i have almost 20 pings
💦: oh shit
luminescent: i like you
La Signora: I have no idea what's going on, but just so you know,
La Signora: Signora,
II Dottore: Dottore,
La Signora: always believed in you.
II Dottore: @☂️
xiao's property: very,
luminescent: i dont know childe, youre very lame and shit, but i do still like you after all those years
luminescent: im in love with you
table sugar: What did I walked into ToT
table sugar: Please take these matters in your private messages!
Albedo: Not now, Sucrose.
Albedo: You don't even chat here that much.
Noelle: Lumine, that is a very sweet confession!
captaine: ......this is not going to bound well i can feel it
Diluc: I know.
Kaedehara: Fuck me
Rich Auntie Ning: I know.
Pulcinella: Hey, buddy @💦 what's your answer
💦: i like her too
ko²mi: this is incredibly fucked up.
woofwoof: What is happening?
xoxorissaa: oh no, i walked in the wrong time
☂️ cleared nickname
Scaramouche: okaaay ebrryone
Scaramouche: it was a nice afternoon
💦 cleared nickname
Childe set nickname to Tartaglia
moramona: is it
moramona: the end?
haishancrux: so keqing
haishancrux: i just want to ask you
haishancrux: what is up with your hairstyle everyday
soundofmoney: ganyu is styling it everyday because of a movie project :peek:
soundofmoney: she got in as a hairstylist and its a fantasy movie
haishancrux: so shes practicing
soundofmoney: pretty much
Rich Auntie Ning: She's got a lot on her plate, working as an assistant in Qixing and then a hairstylist.
soundofmoney: well she got interested in hairstyling
soundofmoney: heyy baby
cocogoat: hi love!
hooptao: oh my gawd i forgot about what happened last week!!!!!!!
👻boohootao: i can't remember anything i swear to almighty morax
xiao's property: i swear to barbatos i never remembered anything
🎆: i swear on baal, i am very much a forgetful woman!
sarakujou: how r u with itto?
🎆: uh well, we're kinda working our relationship out
🎆: hes very uhhmm aggressive
thomato: tell me more about it
🎆: so u know him
thomato: he courted ayaka too
thomato: but clearly your thomas the train here is the champ and forever will be 😰
kya☔ cleared nickname
kya: so ermm diluc's bar got shut down
xiao's property: fuck.
xiao's property: im not feeling good. im gonna throw up thisnis a huge bad news .
venti's property: are you okay, love? i'm on my way to your apartment. don't do anything rash, wait for me and let's get you in the hospital.
kya: guys im just kidding
xiao's property: ok good
xiao's property: 7 hours driving back to mondstadt to get that sweet wine is totally worth it
captaine: well.. Diluc shut his own bar down and renovate it
kya: i am stjll sad about it
Diluc: But Father said so.
kya: aaa i know
kya: so well, what do you think
Diluc: About what?
kya: i am going introduce my bf to dad
kya: do you think he's gonna love albedo
captaine: i'm sure he will...
kya: well dad likes you 🙄
Diluc: You've been lying to Father and dating behind his back.
kya: i knoww i know
Albedo: Isn't this something to be discussed somewhere private?
👻boohootao: oh no it's fine we r very much lurking
🎆: yippy yup, go on
kya: rightt, so what do you think bedo?
kya: wanna meet dad
Albedo: I would love to.
xoxorissaa: is this another marriage 😊
Diluc: No, Father is very protective about Kaeya.
kya: ikr 🙄
kya: i just have a feeling that dad will be ms ayaka's brother
kya: and then what if he made bedo court me for over a year even though we've been dating for 5 years
xiao's property: only 5 years? i feel like ive dated all xiaos but in the past
venti's propery: i also have a feeling. did the universe align us together?
xiao's property: i think so, my love 💕
kya: that's really sweet
Diluc: It's your choice.
Albedo: It's not gonna hurt to be honest to your Father. If he wants me to court you all over again, then I will do it.
captaine: here's your patient man... kaeya
kya: i love uu sweetheart💙
Tartaglia: so guys well
kya: oh he talked
Tartaglia: guess who's im dating
Yan(Law)Fei: definitely lumine
👻boohootao: it's so obviously lumine
soundofmoney: lol lumine
cocogoat: mr. zhongli..?
Tartaglia: so yes I'm dating lumine
Scaramouche: isn't that fast
Tartaglia: not really
dainslept: Stay strong, Childe.
eatheer: nice sis☺️
booklover, okay?: congratulations!
La Signora: You're fucking up real bad here, Childe.
thomato: hey my dude, mochi wanna play league
👻boohootao: so uh wanna play valorant instead i got better at it a lil bit
xiao's property: how about i let you borrow my switch and play animal crossing
🎆: i have a lot of newspaper, you can play the crosswords there i csn give you a ton
Kaedehara: I just composed a new song today, do you want to hear it?
booklover, okay?: how about some tea, and i let you borrow my book collection instead?
iceyboypopsicle: u have many choice, mr. scaramouche
Scaramouche: Thanks guys
Pulcinella: We should really talk in private, Scara
Chapter 28: private message 7
moramona and Childe's dms
moramona: just checkin in, childe
moramona: since i am the nicest friend in the circle of friends,
moramona: how are you
Childe: im good
moramona: ok good because i need money
moramona: if you cant give me money then find me a sugar daddy
Childe: what why
moramona: i need money
moramona: anyways if you know anyone, give my number
moramona: so you and lumine are together
Childe: yeah, we're working our relationship up in a very matured way
moramona: are you stupido
moramona: whateves dude
Childe: i really dont know
Childe: im not stable right now
moramona: i know zhongli's lover
moramona: i did you a favor ok? just shut up and listen
moramona: her name's guizhong i think
Childe: my fucjing god fuck
moramona: you know her?
moramona: ok now its your turn to do me a favor
moramona: so im interested in this friend of yours
Childe: dude's taken, back off lady
moramona: no not him of course
moramona: the other one
moramona: duh, yes
Childe: what about him
moramona: well give me his number
moramona: i am very much interested in him
Childe: oh damn
Childe: that is the first time im hearing that from you
moramona: give me his number and stop babbling
Childe : [insert scaramouche's number]
Childe: i never even see you talk to him in the gc
moramona: who cares
moramona: is he bisexual
moramona: since you r stupido, im gonna take him instead ok?
Childe: okay sure
moramona: now scram away from me childe
Childe: why are you always like that to me mona
moramona: who even cares about you
moramona: anyways good luck with lumine
moramona: shes a sweet one, youre lucky
Childe: i know
Childe: and very kind
Childe: are you gonna go
moramona: no not yet i forgot to ask
moramona: what kind of person is scara
Childe: oh hes got serious gambling addiction, incredible mood swings, good at games
Childe: when you meet irl, he acts really cute, like really really fucking cute
Childe: when we were babysitting, he said he wasnt good at kids but he was the only one who argued with the kids and entertained them at the end
Childe: guy's a good person, mona
moramona: you know him too well thx dough
Childe: well we chat almost everyday, i guess i got too close to him
Childe: hes a talker, he got lot of topics to discuss, fucking weird debates and arguments, hes matured too
moramona: you said too much but thx
Childe: ok gn
mona and scaramouche two tsunderes possible to be together??????
Chapter 29: gc 16
Tartaglia: hey guys
fishyelle: sup ginger
fishyelle: no but hes ginger
metealxin: hes red
fishyelle: absolutely not
metealxin: hes a red
thomato: oh hey dude
Tartaglia: yo sup
thomato: im fucking upset at you
xiao's property: oooh damn, childe you better piss your pants
hootao: dudeeeeee childe you should be ashamed of yourself 😈
🎆: brooo thats gotta be the craziest shit everrr!!!!!
hootao: well just so you know scaramouche joined our group 😈
Tartaglia: @thomato bro fr?
thomato: for fucking real dude
thomato: you dare to come back in this realm to wish to talk to us?
thomato: i am going to banish you far away from thi
thomato: ok seriously dude
Tartaglia: bro.. im
thomato: after weeks dude, you missed a lot of shit happening here.
thomato: just because you're working your relationship with lumine.
thomato: ive always thought...
thomato: bros before hoes?
thomato: pals before gals?
Tartaglia: poker before you poke her....
thomato: call of duty before entering that booty.
Tartaglia: headshots before backshots...
thomato: trees before she gets on her knees.
thomato: You betrayed us.
thomato: You let us down.
thomato: you promised to Never gonna make us cry and to Never gonna say goodbye.
thomato: i thought No running around to desert us?
Tartaglia: but fr dude
Tartaglia: i was
luminescent: hes figuring out a lot rn
luminescent: you make it sound like hes been gone from you for decades
thomato: cause he is
thomato: 😔we have new valo players, like dain hu tao and my love, ayaka
thomato: and yeah, we miss you dude no homo
mouche: yeaaah i missed you
thomato: right yeah haha
Rich Auntie Ning: So, Tartaglia. Just so you know.
Albedo: Everyone's invited in Master Ragnvindr and Master Gunnhildr's wedding taking place in Mondstadt, The Favonius Cathedral.
dainslept: Be sure to be there, Jean is expecting every single one in this group chat.
Diluc: We are still giving out invitation cards, and not everyone is invited, only those who are available.
Diluc: The wedding's kind of... rushed, but I am not complaining at all.
captaine: ...i love you
❄️: that's so sweet hehe
Tartaglia: holy shit?
Tartaglia: im definitely going
xiao's property: me4
🎆: FUCK I CANT GO 😭
Tartaglia: hey girlie 😳
luminescent hi boyfie
luminescent: so well
hootao: yeaaah it hurts my eyes
luminescent: wanna be my date then
Tartaglia: oh right sure sure
mouche: just talk in dms
moramona: oh dont worry, i'll be your date if ure jealous about them 🌝
mouche: damn sweet 🌚
hootao: pls come with me yoimiya
hootao: be my date
kya: ok good
booklover, okay?: we're going too!
ko²mi: @❄️ do u want to go?
❄️: yes but ayato-niisan 🙃
ko²mi:i i got your back, i will pay for OUR ticket
thomato: oh my god
iceyboypopsicle: guys, what is nnn..?
Chapter 30: gc 17
UnluckyLucky: @everyone Morning, everyone!
UnluckyLucky: Is it bad to count the days down before Master Diluc's wedding?
fishyelle: for some reason, it isnt
fishyelle: hello its 6 am
fishyelle: hi gorou
fishyelle: how r u all
UnluckyLucky: I was about to head out and do my morning jog
fishyelle: ok good luck stay safe
UnluckyLucky: Thanks, that meant a lot!
woofwoof: Gorou's been doing good!
ko²mi: hi sweetheart
ko²mi: who u dating
woofwoof: No one!
Kaedehara: Are you sure?
booklover, okay?: heyy everyone (｡◕‿‿◕｡)
iceyboypopsicle: hi xingqiu
fishyelle: come think of it
fishyelle: chongyun only chats here when xingqiu is also here
Kaedehara: Right, what's going on with you two?
iceyboypopsicle: nothing much 乁 ˘ o ˘ ㄏ
booklover, okay?: i wish there were something going on 😔
fishyelle: hey chongyun, xingqiu wants to bring you as a +1 in diluc's wed
booklover, okay?: what!! no no (•ˇ_ˇ•)
booklover, okay?: oh why?
iceyboypopsicle: i'd really want to go with you
booklover, okay?: really??????
fishyelle: this is too easy for me
Kaedehara: How about Scaramouche and
fishyelle: two have separate dates eh nothing i can do there
iceyboypopsicle changed nickname to chongyun
booklover, okay? changed nickname to xingqiu
Tartaglia: i have a weird shit to tell
Tartaglia: just woke up
mouche: oh hey same good morning
fishyelle: did you two even
woofwoof: Bye bye, minnasan! I have a meeting with Itto-san!
our little wolfie: bye goro
mouche: so whachu gonna tell pretty boy
mouche: i mean
fishyelle: hmmmmmmm sus
Kaedehara: He gets high when not sleeping, excuse him for now
Tartaglia: oh yeah i alr knew about that
mouche: anyways what you gonna tell
Tartaglia: a dream i guess
Tartaglia: about my past past past past life?
fishyelle: what about it huh "pretty boy"
Kaedehara: Like I said-
Tartaglia: i was an errand boy for a god, i just do everything she says
Tartaglia: and we were called harbingers, signora was there dottore, pulcinella, etc but we rarely function together since we fight
ko²mi: why is that so true even in reality
mouche: im smarter than them
La Signora: Absolutely not true.
Dottore: go on, we're listening.
Tartaglia: so the god assigned me in this weird ass task to kill another god that exactly looks like zhongli
Tartaglia: exactly looks like zhongli what i mean had pair two thicc fucking thighs and ass uh
Tartaglia: but i was the villain here and i summoned another fucking god to destroy the zhonggod's city, which is liyue
Tartaglia: i dont remember the rest but zhongdad betrayed me and set all those up blah blah
mouche: did you seriously called zhongli as dad
Tartaglia: that definitely is a typo
fishyelle: i ss'd that in case so i can blackmail you
Tartaglia: not to mention i was beaten by lumine in a battle, i remembered transforming into some kind of optimum pride thing
mouche: A WHAT LMAOOO AHSHSHAHHAHAHAHAAAHAHAHA
Tartaglia: i guess the me in that dream was so fucking upset he teleported into inazuma
Tartaglia: where i met a scaramouche
Tartaglia: @thomato this scaramouche version is so
mouche: what say it
Tartaglia: you were really bitchy and arrogant, you almost killed me because i asked you for a spar (??)
Tartaglia: you fucking dress so nice like a big frisbee, you dress like an actual inazuman would do
Tartaglia: and i guess i liked it even in the dreams, i loved it even, i was teasing you and stuffs then you pushed me off a cliff
Tartaglia: and i woke up
mouche: oh my god is this a sign youre gonna die because of me
fishyelle: whaaa no way
moramona: i really like it how childe talks much about scaramouche
moramona: its so sussy but its childe, it became a normal thing
Tartaglia: i am not sussy
mouche: im heading to bed
Kaedehara: Good night.
Tartaglia: 😐 take this in dms guys
moramona: ok sir lumine-lover
fishyelle: lmao im sorry but i don't like how that sounds
moramona: its fine fish 🙃
kya: thinkin about ☔
Tartaglia: i really have no idea what that is
kya: go to hell childe
our little wolfie: bye
Chapter 31: gc 18
mouche: guysss well
mouche: harbingers 😐
Pulcinella: Hi mouchey
Pulcinella: You have an announcement?
mouche: well i started a new account at twitch
mouche: under the name of scaramouche
Tartaglia: oh damn @thomato
thomato: YOOOOOOOOO GOOD LUCK SCARA
La Signora: That is indeed a shocking news.
Pantalone: Fuck, he's definitely gonna surpass me.
mouche: so the craziest part is
mouche: as soon as i made that account, and I HAVENT FUCKING UPLOADED ANYTHING
mouche: the Tsaritsa already made me a harbinger 🌚
Tartaglia: holy shit that's great news
Tartaglia: welcome aboard 😳
mouche: yeah im no.6
Tartaglia: shit? im num 11.....
Pulcinella: That's gotta be a LMAO moment
Sandrone: What are you gonna stream then
xingqiu: @mouche congrats!!! (＾▽＾)
xingqiu: i use to watch some of kunikuzushi-chan's content back then such a shame ༎ຶ‿༎ຶ
chongyun: u do?
xingqiu: well yess (っ˘̩╭╮˘̩)っ
mouche: thanks for that xing
mouche: @Sandrone andd i guess I'll do a lot that i didn't do in my trapping days
thomato: WHAT TRAPPING DAYS
Tartaglia: what trapping days
Pulcinella: Oh boy, oh boy
xiao's property: WHAT'S HAPPENING
xiao's property: OH MY GAWD
mouche: UH JUST DO YOUR RESEARCH I DONT WANNA
xiao's property: oh my gawd mouche youre my bestie
xiao's property: i also have a trapping era
thomato: WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT
Tartaglia: YEAH WHAT TRAPPING ERA WHAT THE FUCK
mouche: soo yeah i used to be a vtuber and my avatar looks girl i guess
mouche: and i used my another voice that sounded girl
mouche: but im a boy 😼
Pulcinella: And that's trapping for you
woofwoof: I'm learning a lot! Thanks!
ko²mi: no no no come here gorou no discord
metealxin: oh shit woman's have dick 😂😂
Yan(Law)Fei: Xinyan, not now...
Tartaglia: you can change voices? holy shit
mouche: yeah i can bet she cant do that 😼
luminescent: ok scara
luminescent kicked mouche out the group chat
hootao: ok lumine 😶
eatheer: sis, what the fudgybar!
Tartaglia: what the fuck lumine, im not gonna make you an admin again
🎆: oooo shit
🎆: can i be an admin tho
Tartaglia made 🎆 an administrator
Tartaglia removed luminescent's administration
luminescent: ok childe
Tartaglia added mouche in the group chat
luminescent left the group chat
Tartaglia: sorry for that mochi
mouche: okay can we stop calling me mochi
mouche: my dango do be missing though 😐
kya: @Tartaglia dango 🍡
Albedo: Five days before the wedding, anyone else still attending?
🎆: can u add like +1, I'm bringing a date
ko²mi: is it itto
🎆: yes 😪
ko²mi: shit good luck to us he might pole dance in the aisle
thomato: thats definitely something itto would do
🎆: he offered me a lap dance
xiao's property: oh my god HAHSHSHAHSHSHSHHAAHAHAHAHAHAHA
hootao: pls donate a boyfriend now 😋
thomato: did you accept
🎆: I... yes 😳
hootao: WAS IT HOT
🎆: DEFINITELY WOULD DO IT AGAIN 💯
Tartaglia: @moramona are you taking scaramouche out as a friend or like you guys dating
mouche: oh no no no
Tartaglia: my date cancelled me lmao
moramona: good we can go threesome date
mouche: wha no HAHAHAHABAHAHAH WHAT NO NO
moramona: shuush shuussh shh darling
captaine: thank you everyone...
captaine: i will be expecting you to come..
kya: if y'all ain't bringing gifts imma 🙃
moramona: ill buy you a new sex toy
kya: okay thats something thanks
Diluc: You should hide the once you left in the house, Kaeya.
kya: shit really fuck
kya: did u hid it for me 😓
Diluc: Of course
kya: thanks bro 🤗
Albedo: Oh no, the letters I sent
Diluc: Father saw it. All.
captaine: just the letter..!
captaine: apparently the maids didn't touched the letters because they seemed important...
Albedo: Shit, I may have written it like it was an important research.
captaine: it was written in french..
Albedo: Okay fuck, I was drunk that time.
kya: i don't remember u sending any letters!
Albedo: You said you wanted a "retro romance" I thought sending you letters would make you love me more.
kya: babeee thats so sweett i love you so much already 💙
Albedo: Me too. I love you too.
xiao's property: @venti's property (⊃｡•́‿•̀｡)⊃
venti's property: @xiao's property ⊂(･ω･*⊂)
mouche: aw so cute #when
Tartaglia: @mouche hey im your no.1 follower in twitch rn
mouche: ive followed you a long time ago, so unfair 🌝
Tartaglia: i just found out today okay? 🌚
Kaedehara: I'm your second.
kya: arrggggh just date already 🙂
xiao's property: (2)
mouche: if he only wants to 😔
Yan(Law)Fei: @thomato We saw Huffman again.
thomato: HOLY FUCKING SHIT REALLY
❄️: swear jar, now 🙂👍
ko²mi: woah whats up with the jar swear
❄️: he wants a new set up for his pc but broke
❄️: so im trying to help him ! ☺️
ko²mi: how so?
❄️: +1000 mora every swear
captaine: i sent huffman out in liyue to do a task...
Yan(Law)Fei: Well, I guess he isn't doing his job right.
captaine: oh.. how so?
thomato: man's flirting with every single guys and ladies
thomato: i drank with him back then, and he was talking about this uhh what's his name
thomato: yes him
captaine: oh my...
captaine: it's ok, i guess... he works hard everyday :)
mouche: unlike that one guy here
mouche: i surpassed you
mouche: gotta try hard now, boy 😼
Tartaglia: wanna collab for your first ever stream
thomato: wtf that's fast
❄️: S W E A R J A R .
mouche: LMAO WHAT THE FUCK
La Signora: No. Go do a collaboration with us, Scaramouche.
Sandrone: Also, welcome (back) to the rusty harbinger group.
mouche: thanks i guess
mouche: but hey i'll collab with all of you but ajax said the words first 😨
Tartaglia: whats the plural form of moose
hootao: wait where's lumine
hootao: what? why
Tartaglia: idk she havent chat me
hootao: oh i thought you guys were really close that y'all started dating each other
Tartaglia: she doesn't know me that well and i dont know her that well
mouche: so why date each other
hootao: HAIYAAAA CHILDE LOOK AROUND AND OPEN YOUR THIRD EYE
Tartaglia: i mean that's why we were dating, to get to know each other
Kaedehara: I will punch you right in the liver, Mister Childe.
haishancrux: woah woah, let's calm for now, yeah?
Tartaglia: wanna spar then kaedehara
haishancrux: no he aint good in fighting, he just uh gets a little overprotecting over a friend
haishancrux: like a xiao but a ripped off
venti's property: when did i become.
Rich Auntie Ning: Your cousin, Zhongli?
venti's property: no one will touch my venti and my cousin.
venti's property: i will beat the fuck out of you.
xiao's property: right lets calm down babe, siomai date?
venti's property: okay. for you.
Tartaglia: that lowkey sounds fun
mouche: what no dont get yourself hurt
mouche: i mean yeaah go on you stupid shit head i dont give a shit about you
Kaedehara: He's like that. Sometimes.
Tartaglia: i know
thomato: yeah we know, very sussy
Kaedehara: Is there anything you don't know about Scaramouche?
thomato: well let me tell you here, young sir
thomato: he sometimes talks too much about himself in the call
Tartaglia: like that one time we were trash talking our terrible jungle and he suddenly slipped in the entire history of his favorite shoes got scratched and how it affected his whole life
xingqiu: but aren't u liek that in ur streams 😭
Tartaglia: what no
mouche: YEESS THAT'S SO YOU DON'T DENY
thomato: yeah dude you talk too much about yourself too
mouche: I CAN GET CARRIED AWAY OKAY
Tartaglia: well i get carried away too easily
Tartaglia: my viewers enjoy my little stories too
mouche: spoiler alert it took him 50 minutes to tell the whole story 🌝
hootao: why do you even know that huh 😰
kya: yeah whyyy scara hmm?
mouche: because well he's very stupid
Tartaglia: is he on the tsundere mood right now
thomato: i think so
mouche: i am not a tsundere
xingqiu: from a concerned book lover, im afraid he already entered the tsundere mode
mouche: kk because i watch ur videos isnt that already obvious
Tartaglia: that really feels good when it comes out of your mouth
kya: WHAT WHAT WHAT WHAT DID YOU SAY YOUNG MAN
Albedo: Oh boy.
hootao: WHAT THE FUCK'S WRONG MY MIND HOLY SHIT
🎆: cum? 😨
thomato: BOTH ENTERED THE CUM ZONE REAL FAST THERE
Tartaglia: WHAT NO WHAT THE HECK
mouche: oh my sweet tsaritsa🤔
kya: WATCH OUT YOUR MOUTH YOUNG MAN SIR WOMAN
Tartaglia: sure naughty green-minded lady
thomato: is it green-minded or grind-minded or grin-minded
🎆: i actually have no idea 👲👲
mouche: the fuck happened here i just got noodles
mouche: ew dude suck my toes childe
xiao's property: 😱
table sugar: Hi, guys!
table sugar: especially for @xingqiu
xingqiu: hello! (◠ᴥ◕ʋ)
table sugar: So I was hoping you would recommend good books to read!
xingqiu: what genre do you like?
table sugar: Gore, Horror, Psychological, Drama, Fantasy, Historical, Comedy
chongyun: i read too, i recommend "Into the Abyss" for gore horror psychological and comedy for dark humor
Tartaglia: wtf chong, you read those stuffs?
chongyun: xingqiu... recommended it to me and i really like him
chongyun: i mean it*
hootao: IM GONNA FUCKING EXPLODE THATS SO SUSSY
chefxiang!: This is big news!
metealxin: we are making progress here you two 😅q
xingqiu: oh my, chongyun!
xingqiu: im glad you enjoyed it too! i like you 2 yknow (≧(ｴ)≦ )
xingqiu: i mean i like it 2*
xingqiu: well ANYWAYS @table sugar i recommend reading "The 6th Loyal Follower" it's a fantasy novel about a young man finding a good reason to live in a fanstasy world.
xingqiu: and for historical, try reading "The Archons War" a novel made by zhongli himself!!! i was so shock and his novel became the best novel for the month!
table sugar: Thank you for this!
xingqiu: You can find an ebook for those, but you can borrow mine! i have a lot of book collections i can share with you! i can show u if you want ( ˘_˘)
table sugar: I would love too! Thank you for this!
chongyun: ( •_• )
mouche: i am sleep deprived
Tartaglia: same i feel like I'm sniffing rugby from bottles
guys wanna see Ajax and Scaramouche's livestream 😳 how about i make chapters about like private calls or group calls does it make everything confusing
Chapter 33: private message 8
Childe and mouche's dms
Childe: so hello
Childe: how are you and mona doing
mouche: oh she became my best friend the first time ive heard her voice
Childe: so you guys aren't
Childe: dating or anything, you guys arents married? like secret lovers or
mouche: no what the heck
mouche: why'd ya ask 😈
Childe: well as a friend i am asking
mouche: how about you and lumine?
Childe: she throws a lot of tantrums but we're doing good
Childe: we just
Childe: rarely talk
Childe: we've been together for 3 weeks but she talks about ending it
mouche: sorry to hear that lol
Childe: and i guess it doesn't hurt that much
Childe: i mean ye im kinda using her to move on about zhongli
mouche: i heard he was dating guizhong, we met once
mouche: she's a kunikuzushi fan, old era moments 😶
Childe: i guess im doing good, for now
Childe: life's good without thinking about zhongli
Childe: like dude i wanted to fuck him as a joke but then it went south and i wanted to date him instead
mouche: 😐 can we have a conversation without actually talking about your love life
Childe: what's wrong with my love life
mouche: i get jealous sometimes
mouche: i mean jealous because y'know you like uhh good looking people
Childe: what how
mouche: nvm anyways
mouche: we should talk about uhhhh our collaboration?
mouche: or was it a joke
Childe: nope definitely wanna collab with you
Childe: what's your content gonna be like though
mouche: i don't know, i'll do anything what they like
mouche: fuck you no
mouche: kunikuzushi was my vtuber/trapping era where people watch me suffer playing gacha games
mouche: and i just do shit posts
Childe: i did my researched and i will be watching all of your 23 videos
Childe: you fucking hit 1 million by that? 😔
mouche: oh my god did you fucking promoted my new twitch account
Childe: uhh yes because i am a supportive friend 😎
mouche: i just hit 60k then
Childe: holy shit
Childe: i only have 3.1 mil in twitch 900k in youtube 🌚
mouche: oh my god what the fuck i wanted to stay lowkey not famous 😔
Childe: don't worry 😎
Childe: be happy with that
mouche: im gonna do a first live stream then lets collab after that then with the whole harbinger now 😐
Childe: damn good luck also 3 days before wed
mouche: right, we're going treesum date?
Childe: no lumine's still my date
Childe: she just sulks sometimes and i have to y'know sugar her up
mouche: good luck then
Childe: oh sure then
Childe: good luck too?
mouche: thx bye
Childe: also uhh apparently jean actually meant it when she wanted everyone in the gc to attend her wedding
Childe: so harbinger squad's there 😎
Childe: me and my homies bout to crash in mondstadt
Childe: this time we can use a private jet
Childe: so free ride, u in?
mouche: right, sure
mouche: of course
Childe: good good, dress well
mouche: u too kinda lookin forward for ajax in suit
Childe: right me too, mochi in suit
u guys can comment the username/s you want in the livestream i really cant think of any rn 😭
thank you for reading! 💞
Chapter 34: (scuffed) livestream 1
A live stream
I HAVE NO IDEA IF THIS WILL TURN OUT GOOD FORGIVE ME ☺️
"So, hi and hello." He stopped, making sure he was reading the right shit he wrote in a paper. "Apparently, I immediately went to 6th in the harbingers, and here I am with my maybe-first-ever stream." Scaramouche smiled awkwardly, eyes staring in front of the camera.
kunikusushi_006: :pepecry: sIr, we can't see you :pepecry: :pepecry: :pepecry:
Red_shotXx: How's that even possible
ms_mirrorrim: is this who i think it is
TAR-TAR-TARUTARIA: who the fuck is this guy he suddenly became the 6th wtf
aj4xwith_bleach: this is kinda unfair ajax deserves more
Megistus: holy shit
ven_barbatoes: OH MY GAWD IT REALLY IS HIM WOW
ajaxswife_414: WHO'S THIS NEW 6TH HARBGINER BLAH BLAH, THE HELL AJAX DESERVES BETTER WHAT THE FUCK'S TSARITSA DOING
ajaxswife_414: [blocked message]
"What a fucking asshole, don't speak ill of the tsaritsa shit-head." Scaramouche sighed in relief when the moderators did their jobs. He flipped the mini notebook he has, "I've only started, why am I getting hate already?"
kuni_chan_simp: SJKSSMMSMSMSLSLAAKBSJSLAOAIWHEHHWHW IS IT REALLY HIM
La Signora ❨✓❩: Calm down, viewers.
II Dottore ❨✓❩: Welcome back, the old 6th.
seely_: FIX THE CAMERA PLS 😰
vanguardian43: Sir Dottore and Ma'am Signora, wow
"Oh shit, xayah and rakan are here." He said with no emotion in his face, or in his tone. He scribbled a sad face in his notebook out of the blue. "What do you mean? I think my cam is doing good."
kunikusushi_006: WE CAN'T SEE HSHSSHSSHSHSH
zumizoomzoomi: THE KING IS BAXK EVERYONE
ivyrosaria: @ven_barbatoes @Megistus what are you guys doing here this is embarrassing
77_directorhutao: ROSARIA YOU WATCH STREAMERS WHAT THE HECK
The camera was set up backwards, he face palmed himself for that. "Sorry guys. I forgot how to set a stream up, it's literally been ages!" He removed his Mc Donald's headphones before flipping his camera on the right shot and sat down on his lavender chair.
He waved a hand in front of the camera, and stared straight at it. "Just so you know, I'm as shocked as you are when I was made the 6th." He noticed how fast his heart beats in a second, he held his chest tight.
"I'm fucking nervous as shit right now, but hey, who even gives a shit? Shout out to those who's obsessed with Ajax. But I don't recommend messing with me, I hold your favorite streamer as a hostage in my house." Scaramouche smirked evilly, and let out a maniac laughter. "Okay, so let's discuss about the chat rules."
simpsimpingforajax: bruh lol lmao what did he just said?
veniecey_aj4xs1mp: this guy is acting all friendly with ajax like he would give a shit about you
bieruqiu: what the heck is wrong with the chat?
fishyyelle: oh fuck me, now he streams too?
fishyyelle: give me money ☺️
kukkoman: whos this new 6th dude tsaritsa do be having unfair shits here
"Why the fuck are you guys-" Scaramouche glared, suddenly muting his mic off, he took off his headphones. "What the hell, Childe? And you call them 'sweet angels'? Go fuck yourself."
The ginger-haired man sighed, his hand stopped grabbing popcorn from the bowl. He stood up, and walked behind Scaramouche's chair.
dixipixie: AJAAAAX IS THAT HIM OH MY GOD WOW
kreideprinz : Kaeya forced me to watch this.
kya_ocellus: love and support from an alchemist and a hottie, good luck scara-boy 😘
Tartaglia_aajaax: OMG THE FAN GROUPS KEPT POSTING THE LINK TO THIS HELLO AJAX NOTICE ME PLZ 😚😚
railed_by_ajax: i wonder why ajax is with this foul-mouthed dude
yyuiiki: HIIIIIIIIII AJAXX AKKAMMAMMMLAPAOAWIDUDHJDJJD
Scaramouche put his headphones back, immediately un-muting his mic. "See, I told you I kept him inside my house. Go away now, shit-face." He swayed his palm, gesturing Childe to scram.
"Jesus, now I have 100k viewers thanks to you fucker. Gaah, I hate this already." He groaned, "Hey, stay something you ass."
kya_ocellus: holy shit, you really should not say that in front of ajax's fans
blueberrybillie: guys wanna cancel this guy! ?
dixiepixie: CANCEL THIS GUY
railing_AJAX: THAT'S DEFINITELY HARASSMENT CANCEL THIS GUY ON TWITTER I BET HE SAID THE N WORD
"Woah, hey! Why are you guys like that?" Not bad for a Mc Donald's headphones he bought online, he was sure the audience heard Childe's voice. "And why the heck do you have that as an username, 'railed_by_ajax' and 'railing_ajax'!!"
Scaramouche burst in laughter with his head down and a hand rubbing his stomach. "You piece of shit, Scara." Childe joined him in.
77_directorhutao: aw they're so cute im gonna die
bieruqiu: hehee ikr kuni-chaaan notice uss
tartagalicious: i wonder what sir dottore means by the old 6th
"Sure, I would love to step on you. Anyways, I'm doing a QnA stream, you can ask anything." Childe gave him the thumbs up, leaving the sight quickly and came back with his own chair.
"With a special guest, of course." Scaramouche giggled, flying his sausage fingers around Childe's face, and the ginger-haired man slapped it all. "I'm just here for support, but the actual reason is to raid his refrigerator today." He winked.
kya_ocellus: are you two officially dating
simping_forajax6: are you fucking stupid fuck you @kya_ocellus
tsaritsyn042: why's everyone calling the new 6th kunikuzushi
kunikusushi_006: how are you todayyy kunichaan
kunikunikunek0: we miss u haha
"Ermm, well. I'll do a proper introduction first. I'm Scaramouche, FKA Kunikuzushi. My pronouns are he/him, I mean it's 2021, jesus christ." Childe held back a chuckle, he read the questions one by one. "Kya Ocellus asked if we are dating."
"Nope, we unfortunately ain't dating,"
kya_ocellus: fuck ok.
RaidenEi: scaramouche, what the devil are you doing
skrmshh11: good thing haha
The purple-haired guy's eyes widened in horror, immediately muting his microphone after seeing the chat. "Fuck, Childe. My sister's watching my stream." He turned off his camera and whispered.
"What sister? Raiden—" Scaramouche covered his mouth with a hand, and gestured to shut up with a 'shh'. "She can hear you, she once got interested in witch craft and I'm very scared."
Kaedehara: Oh, fuck.
Thomasthethird: WHY IS SHE HERE
ココミ: we all are watching you scara.
yoiyoiyoimiya: we do.
Ittoman: WE ARE WATCH.
ayinonfireX: :eyes: :eyes: :eyes:
hehydrated: The chat's very weirdchamp today
"So what if she's watching? Come on, my siblings watch me all the time, this is why I don't curse that much!" Childe's fake tears fell down while staring in blank space. "Ugh, our situation's not similar."
He opened his camera again, heavily sighing as he tried to take a mental note not to fuck all this up, or he'll look like an idiot in front of Inazuma's great ass leader.
Childe laughed, a flowery smile plastered on his face kinda made his heart flutter for solid one minute. He haven't ate butterflies, but why does it feel like some are flying somewhere in his stomach? "Sorry about that, let's head back to the QnA. Tsaritsyn042 asked, why does everyone calling the new 6th, Kunikuzushi?"
In which Scaramouche replied with an obvious healty blush, "Well, erm— I use to do streams, before our lovely guest here. Spoilers Alert, I'm just another shitty streamer." He whispered with a hand covering the microphone.
Childe let out an amused laugh, "He calls it his trapping era."
Ah, for archon's sake. It's suffocating here, I'm gonna die.
meatbeater69: @kya_ocellus i highkey agree witb you they are kinda cute together
Pucinella ❨✓❩: heheehhee hii ajax
Pulcinella ❨✓❩: and scaramouche hi
Sandrone ❨✓❩: Congratulations on 60k subs on Twitch.
Pantalone ❨✓❩: Fucking Scaramouche and his cute voice and face
ms_mirrorrim: sir pantalone😭
dandelionzzz: oh wow im very new to this, but i do want to support your career...
"Oh right, thank you for our viewers, especially our families and friends! I'm glad to hear you guys are supporting me, it really makes me kinda less shittier about myself."
Childe patted his back on that, silently sighing too.
RaidenEi: i'll always support you, my cute lil bro
77_directorhutao: i lovee uu mochii hahaha as a friend no homo
yoiyoiyoimiya: we're glad too
venicegang: as a kunikuzushi loyal fan, im very very thankful that you are back and healthy!!!
aishiteeeaj4xsama: ^^ this scaramouche dude is a sweetiepie, im gonna simp now
do_DO_co: hahahaahhahaha puwity gai!! kleee saw albedu wahtch you
kya_ocellus: oh my god klee
kreideprinz: sweet sister, please dont bd here
"Uh oh, good luck!"
"Anyways, give questions, I answer!"
(only questions and answers !)
da_ddendro: can you say peanuts without the t
"Oh, right." He stopped, having a large equation in his head if he should answer this, or no. Childe opened the water bottle on Scaramouche's oak desk that has a lot of stabs on it and drank. "Peanus." Childe spat all of it out and laughed hard.
geo_viship: why did you left after your face reveal?
"Well, that was... Like I said, I was in a difficult situation, my mental health isn't.." Memories hit him again, he could only scratch his neck. "Those were the dark days! Let's focus in the future." Childe tried comforting him, well he was about to cry after all.
Fuck, why am I so sensitive in every single thing?
railed_by_ajax: what's your sexuality
"I'm bisexual, next."
coconutmakesmenut: are you single?
"Why the fuck are we talking about—" He paused, "..Yes, I'm single unless there's another guy here that wants to make a move, but I bet he's a pussy." He intentionally looked at Ajax who was once again busy eating a sandwich after reading the comment. "Pig."
haishanbeidou: is kazuha your future husband
"What the fuck, no."
QixingNingguang: Don't asked why I made a twitch account, I want to know if it is possible for you to date your crush.
Childe's voice cracked, trying to imitate Ningguang's Ara ara voice. Scaramouche laughed with tears in his eyes, "Yes, I'm 100 percent sure he would like him, clearly, I'm better from his past lover." Drama.
RaidenEi: are you gonna... perhaps invite me to your little friend group chat in discord..
"Uhh—" He nervously gulped, "Yes, sure. I will."
hinaachan: do you like ajax