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I Think Therefore I Am

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Danny had been on his way back from the Far Frozen, from a celebration that Frostbite had thrown. What they were celebrating was...lost on Danny. He didn’t really understand. He had invited his parents and Jazz, but all three did not have time to make the long journey to the Far Frozen. Danny was disappointed, but he understood. But Frostbite seemed excited for him to come, and Danny couldn’t let him down even if it meant he had to go alone. And Danny was certainly glad to go, but he was also relieved when he saw the Fenton Portal come into sight. The Yetis were a loud bunch when they decided to party. Danny was partied out. Quick as he could, he flicked through the portal into his basement.

Just as his parents were trying out their newest ghost shield.

He caught just the barest glimpse of his father’s enthusiastic grin as Jack Fenton slammed his hand on a comically large button. Danny was still partially in the portal when the racing aura of green energy hit him, pushing him further inside the portal itself. A deafening crash sounded all around Danny, and his body jolted and shuddered. The crashing sound continued, reverberating, multiplying. A crescendo of noise like millions of panes of glass breaking against each other. Like dominos, the sounds seemed to bounce off each other and creating only more devastation. 

In the noise, Danny felt himself breaking. Not his body. Not his mind. Or at least, not only those. Something deeper. Something more personal. Intimate. Hidden. Secret. Something he didn’t even know he had. Something visceral that he had no name for. He couldn’t scream at the violation, as he couldn’t find his voice. 

Then, as suddenly and shocking as the cacophony of experiences appeared, they disappeared into nothingness.

Nothingness. 

When people describe nothing, they describe the darkness and black void of night. Of the emptiness of space. Of areas unknown. Of things humans could not see. 

But that was not nothingness.

There was no concept of darkness here. Nor the concept of light. No black. No white. His first thought was that he was blind. But blind would mean that the concept of sight existed as well. And Danny felt it deep within himself that sight did not exist. And had never existed. Not here. Not in this void. Not in this nothingness. Sight itself was not a thing, as there was nothing to see . But the very idea of visibility now seemed so foreign that Danny could not even imagine what sight was. The concept of color seemed foreign and painful.

Danny did not know where he was, only that the concept of where did not exist. He felt his mind bending and breaking at the concept. Unfathomable. He was not somewhere. He was not anywhere. Which meant he was...everywhere? But where did not exist, so everywhere was meaningless. He was scattered into infinite pieces, and yet in only one place, and yet he didn’t exist, and yet he was thinking. He was thinking, wasn’t he? He existed. He knew that he had existed! He remembered-

What? What is memory? Memories are records of existence. And Existence isn’t.

His thoughts started to melt away. Like water. Like sand. Like dust. And part of him felt like he should be concerned. But he couldn’t feel concern. Concern didn’t exist. He couldn’t feel it. There was nothing. Feelings were- there is nothing. Why was he? Was he? He didn’t.

A nudge of something. He didn’t understand it anymore. It wasn’t a touch. What was touch? He couldn't remember. He tried to grasp at the slipping sands as they flowed away from him. His mind provided him with words. Words like cold or hot. Smooth or rough. Texture. But that wasn’t what the nudge was. 

“That’s it, Daniel. Focus on words,” Someone said. Said. Spoken. Because words were not tangible. You couldn’t touch them. But words. Existed. Existence. Danny shuddered. 

“What’s wrong with him?” Danny heard another voice. Voice. Voices spoke words.

“He fell in between The Infinite Realms and the Material plane,” The first voice answered.

“Clockwork, that doesn’t answer anything,” Another voice said. Danny thought he should recognize it. It filled him with warmth. He could remember warmth. He thought he was remembering warmth. Of long talks with many words. About feelings. About fears. Him listening, them speaking. He tried to focus on the words, but it hurt. It felt wrong. Unnatural. 

“There is nothing between the Ghost Zone and the Human world. The portal is just a hole,” A loud voice. Memories of a sweet smell. Smell? What was that word. Danny ached in protest at the notion of existence. Wrong. Wrong. Wrong.

“No. There is Nothing between. An endless void of Nothing.” 

“Is he going to be okay?” Danny shuddered once more, and felt something touch him. He thinks it is touch. He thinks he feels it. It’s a comfort. Comfort is good. Even if existence seemed so very hard right now.

“Not for a very long time.”