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Nameless Cuties and Matchmaking BFFs

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In the two months or so since her best friend introduced her to her new boyfriend and his best friend, Noina has learned a lot of things about Doctor Pat. 

She’s learned that he loves to make dumb jokes, flirts with everything that walks on two legs, is a lot smarter than he seems and extremely protective over his friends. He is kind and sweet and always has a soft smile on his pretty face. Needless to say, this grumpy asshole that wore his face was Not Pat. 

She doesn’t know why she’d ever thought he was. If you didn’t count the practically identical face, this man was nothing like him!

“Lady,” the stranger with the familiar face says. “Can you fucking let go already? I told you you’ve got the wrong person.”

He looks exhausted by this situation, eyes rolling briefly as he tugs his hand away, where Noina had gently grabbed his sleeve when she was saying hi. She snatches her hand back quickly, afraid to make the stranger even more mad than he already looks. 

“I’m so sorry!” She says, bowing her head slightly in apology. “I-” 

“P’Pick!” another man cuts her off as he appears from behind the grumpy stranger, curling one arm around his waist and pressing his smaller body against him. “Who’s this?”

There’s something threatening about his tone. Overly sweet and definitely passive aggressive. Noina shrinks back further away from the couple- probably? -even as she thinks this new man is way too cute to have such an effective stink eye.

“Chill, Shorty.” Grumpy Stranger says, turning to the shorter man with an almost smile. “She just thought I was Pat.”

And just like that, the threatening vibes disappear completely, replaced by a cheery smile and friendly demeanour. Without the glare, the short man looks like an angel. She’s never met a guy this cute, what the hell!

“Oh! Are you friends with P’Pat?” Nameless Cutie asks, dazzling them with a million dollar smile. She can feel even Ying Ying fall for the cuteness behind her.

“Um yeah,” she manages to break out of her stance to reply. “My friend Ying is dating Doctor Korn, so we know him.”

“Yeah,” Ying Ying says, taking it as her cue to join the conversation. “So you guys know Pat too?” 

“Not by choice,” Grumpy Stranger says, at the same time Nameless Cutie chirps out a- “They’re twins!”

“Of course!” Ying says “No wonder you look just like him!”

“Right!” Noina joins in “But he’s not as grumpy looking.”

Fuck. Why did she just say that out loud? That was supposed to be an inside thought dammit! She’s about to rush into another apology when Nameless Cutie giggles and says-

“P’Pick’s nicer than he looks I swear! He just has a hell of a Resting Bitch Face.”

She expects the other to be at least a little offended but he just shrugs apathetically, seemingly having lost all interest in this conversation. If he ever even had any to begin with. She smiles weakly at Nameless Cutie then side-eyes Ying Ying for a way out of this awkwardness. Thankfully, her best friend is a genius and gets the hint right away.

“Anyway!” she says, clapping her hands together to bring attention away from Noina. “We just came to say hi because we thought you were Pat. Now that the misunderstanding is cleared up we should leave you two to your shopping.”

Yes! Freedom at last!

“No wait!” 

She celebrated too soon.

They turn back to the couple at the cute one’s call, Noina attempting to shrink behind her best friend because the embarrassment from a minute ago is still fueling a full-body blush. If this small man wasn’t so adorable she would’ve pretended not to hear him and just legged it out of the store. Rudeness be damned. 

“Yes?” Ying Ying asks, sensing Noina’s awkward panic next to her.

“We were just going to meet up with P’Pat at the café on the second floor. You both should join us!”

“We wouldn’t want to intrude…” The hesitation in her voice is clear but Nameless Cutie doesn’t seem to want to accept no for an answer.

“You’re Noina right?” he asks, grinning when she says yes. “Then you definitely won’t be intruding, P’Pat will love to see you!” 

There was a crazy look in his eye as he said it that honestly scared her.

“Oh would he now?” 

And now Ying Ying has it too. Noina was sure the two had never met before today but they seemed to suddenly be in cahoots. She doesn’t know what was happening but she was sure she wouldn’t like it.

“We should join you guys then!” her friend announces.


“Awesome! Let’s go!” 

Her protests are cut off by Nameless Cutie suddenly linking their arms at her side and dragging her out of the store, with Ying Ying stepping up to her other side so they’re flanking her like bodyguards. She frantically glances at Pat’s grumpy twin who is following behind them looking like he’d rather be anywhere but here. 

For once, she empathizes with the man. 

She gets dragged out of the store, onto an escalator and to a very cute pet-friendly café one floor up. There’s a handful of people scattered across the tables, some with pets and some without, but it’s not particularly crowded. They settle at a table in the corner and she and Ying Ying coo at a corgi in a stroller a couple tables over. 

“This place is great,” she tells their hosts. “I love pet cafés, I wish I had a dog to bring here.” 

“Well, this time you can play with Bibi.” Still Nameless Cutie says. 

She’s about to ask what he means when, as if on cue, a tiny maltese pup pops its head out from the bag the short man had slung over one shoulder. 

“Oh my god!” she and Ying Ying squeal in unison, stretching across the table to pet the puppy. 

“This is Bibi,” Cutie introduces. “She loves going out with us so sometimes we set up little dates for her and P’Pat’s dog.”

“That’s so cute!” Ying Ying says. She agrees, but is too busy watching the pup try to struggle out of her owner’s grip as he sets her onto the table. 

She’s so busy playing with the puppy, in fact, that she completely misses Pat strolling into the store, casual grin turning all too wide at the sight of her on the table. Both the conspirators notice and grin at each other, but neither of them are about to enlighten Noina anytime soon. 

She only looks up when Bibi starts barking and tries to jump off the table in excitement. She grabs the dog before she can make her escape and looks up to see Pat walking towards  them with another adorable dog in his arms. His hold on it is super awkward but the dog does not seem to mind, simply barking excitedly back at their friend. 

“How many times do I have to tell you to stop carrying her around everywhere like a sack of potatoes?” Pick growls at his twin. It’s the first thing he’s said since they’d asked him how he knew Pat. 

“This is the only way I can hold her, okay?” Pat squabbles back. “Unlike your pocket-sized angel, my baby is a chonky girl. I can’t just put her in a tote and call it a day. Plus, Monroe doesn’t mind, do you baby?” 

He says the last part in a high pitched tone, turning to coo at the dog. She licks at his chin as if in agreement. Across from them, Pick sighs like he has the weight of the world on his bony shoulders. 

It’s quite fun to watch the two interact. They look so alike but their attitudes are as dissimilar as night and day. 

“Anyway, scootch your ass, let me sit next to my brother-in-law. I have to thank him for getting these lovely ladies here. Hi Ying Ying, Noina …”

The way Pat says her name has butterflies fluttering in her stomach and Noina has to remind herself it doesn’t mean anything. Pat is just flirty by nature, she’s not special. He’d totally be flirting with Ying instead of her right now if the other wasn’t dating his best friend. Pat is too loyal to flirt with Korn’s girlfriend, even as a joke, so Noina gets the brunt of his throwaway lines. 

It’s. Not. Real. She knows as much. 

And yet, there’s still a tiny voice in the back of her head telling her how nice it would be if it was. It sure doesn’t help that Pat looks extra hot when he’s being so nice to the cute little puppies and hand feeding them the dog treats the café provides. 

She’s pretty sure she sighs out loud multiple times at how dreamy he is being. Stupid crush being too good for this world!

“He’s dreamy isn’t he?” Still Nameless Cutie- and it’s been twenty minutes how has his name not come up yet?- whispers teasingly at her after Pat offers to go get their drinks. 

“Shorty,” Pick growls, like some kind of a caveman. His boyfriend simply giggles.

“You’re so jealous oh my god!” He seems to be enjoying it though, by the evil grin adorning his cute face. “Right, P’Noina?”

“Oh um-” her blush is probably starting to look like the darkest shade of rouge and she doesn’t know how to cope. “-he’s nice.”

“That’s right, Noina!” Ying Ying pipes up. They’re ganging up on her, oh no! “He’s super nice and hot and charming, just your type.”


Her best friend looks into her furious eyes and laughs, as if Noina’s wrath is a joke. It probably is, to be fair. She can never scare anyone, it's so unfair. The curse of being born with a babyface and doe eyes.

“I’m just saying!” the traitor protests. “You totally like-”
It’s a good thing Noina manages to slam her hand over her evil best friend’s mouth because the next second Pat is back with their drinks. He’s setting them on the table as he asks- 

“What was that Ying Ying? What does our lovely Noina like so much?”

Oh no. Oh god no, someone kill her please. She can’t survive this. She doesn’t dare release Ying Ying, knowing the trouble the other woman will cause. But she also doesn’t know what to say. Thankfully, Nameless Cutie saves her life.

“Chocolate cake,” he says, dragging Bibi away from where she’s sniffing around the drinks and handing the puppy to Pick, who simply puts her on his lap, not another word out of him. “P’Noina was just telling us how much she likes chocolate cake.”

“Oh? You should have said so! I’ll get you a slice!” Pat is gone before any of them can reply and she breathes a sigh of relief before finally letting her best friend go. 

She sends Cutie a thankful smile and he returns it with a little flourish. Adorable.

“Aww,” Ying Ying says in her ear. “He’s your Prince Charming!”

She wishes. She really does.