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The past few months have been extremely overwhelming, to say the least. At some point our lives were hanging by a thread. That’s when I made the decision we needed a fresh start. After applying and several phone interviews for a few positions. I received multiple call backs, but for some distinctive reason something was telling me, Seaside was our destination.

 

Now here we are sitting on the front porch of our new empty house, waiting for the movers to arrive with all our belongings. Faith was absolutely exhausted, we both were, really. She hardly closed her eyes, throughout the whole trip.

 

I was slumped against the post, while Faith laid her head soundly asleep on my lap. I run my fingers tenderly through the pigtails of her wild brown curls. Her hair is one of the many things she inherited from me, she’s constantly fussing about it just like me.

 

Mother like daughter, I hum to myself in content.

 

Before I knew it, Faith winces her big golden brown orbs slowly open. It was like I was looking at a miniature reflection of myself.

 

“Mama?” Yawning, as attempting to wipe the sleep away from her eyes.

 

“Hello you, did you have a good nap?” I continue to soothe my fingers through the tangles of her mane.

 

“Mmhhhmm.” Slightly nodding her head in response.

 

“Good.”

 

“How much longer?” Faith, curiously asks.

 

“Maybe another hour or so. The moving truck got stuck in some terrible traffic, but they’ll be here in no time. I promise lovey.”

 

Scrunching her tiny nose. I could tell she was trying to keep her complaining to a minimum, knowing that I currently had the weight of the world on my shoulders. She didn’t want to add throwing a mild tantrum to my list of worries.

 

I may be bias but my daughter has to be the world's sweetest, smartest, and responsible four year old out there.

 

“How about we get some ice cream, and explore downtown until the movers get here?”

 

The mention of a sweet treat shifts the emotion within her eyes immediately. She breaks out into a cute toothy grin.

 

“Yes pwease!! And mama, can I get uhm uhm the rainbow dots on my ice cream?”

 

I’m not sure what I found more amusing. The fact that she still had trouble pronouncing most words properly, or her adorable terminology. Not wanting to ruin the moment, by correcting her that the rainbow dots were indeed called sprinkles. I nodded, smiling.

 

“Lovey, you can get all the rainbow dots you want.”

 

I brush back a stray ringlet that has escaped the confines of her pigtails, she's beaming with excitement.

 

Times like this always fill the cracks in my heart.

 

Changing the subject, I playfully gasp. “Oh my, Faithie! What is that?”

 

Confusion etching her face, she didn’t have time to respond to my question. Before my fingers found their way from the center of her stomach to her underarms. Tickling her to the very core of her soul. She shrieks, trying to break away from my sudden tickle attack.

 

“Mama!” Squealing loudly.

 

I’m sure the whole entire neighborhood could hear. But I don’t give a damn, because for once in what feels a lifetime. My baby is genuinely happy, and that’s all that matters.

 

“Sorry I thought I saw ants crawling on you!” Continuing on with my antics, I join her in laughter.

 

“Ants? You’re so silly Mama!” Faith giggles, breathlessly.

 

“Oh I guess, if I’m silly. That means you’re silly too.”

 

Ending my playful attack, I lift her onto my lap. Wrapping my arms around her, and kissing her temple. She eases her way down from her outbreak of laughter.

 

You will always be my silly baby.

 

Loosening my embrace around her, as she adjusts herself upright still on my lap. Placing both her petite palms on my cheeks. Leaning in, she kisses the tip of my nose.

 

I close my eyes, to relish the moment of this small act of love my precious angel was constantly blessing me with.

 

Opening my eyes, I find her staring at me with so much tenderness.

 

“Feel better, Mama?”

 

Searching my face for any hints of sadness. Which I always tried my best to hide tucked in a box away, but as of lately I haven’t been able to do a great job of that.

 

Trying my best not to break down into tears in front of her, I say. “You always, make me feel better.”

 

It’s the truth.

 

She’s my truth.

 

Relieved with my answer, she molds her body against mine. Hugging my waist, she lays her cheek listening to the rhythmic beat from my chest.

 

I’m here lovey.

 

I’m never, leaving you.

 

Never again. I promise.

 

Not wanting to break contact with her just yet. I peel her arms away from my waist, and place them around my neck instead. Knowing she’ll be much more comfortable there. Standing up, she naturally wraps her legs around me, and I decide maybe a walk will do us some good, it might even help us both wake up.

 

Luckily, downtown is only a five minute walk away and Faith is light as a feather.

 

We find ourselves both enjoying the walk. Faith is captured by the beautiful scenery of the small city. While I indulge her with the names of each flower we encounter along the way. She is constantly wanting to learn the names of each individual one.

 

By the time we reach the nearest ice cream parlor, she is literally bouncing. If my arms weren’t restraining her from escaping, she would've been racing towards the line ready to order her strawberry flavored ice cream cone drenched in sprinkles.

 

All the workers were all in awe of Faith, as she specifies her ice cream order all by herself. One of them was sweet enough to give us a small coloring book with crayons.

 

Over the years I’ve become foreign to accepting acts of kindness from strangers. I wasn’t always like this… in fact I used to be the complete opposite.

 

In my efforts I try to politely decline her offer. However, she reassures me its included with Faith’s ice cream cone. Eventually, I give in and accept her gift.

 

Glancing at her name tag, I thank her.

 

“Thank you, so much Glenna.”

 

“You're welcome, my dear. I hope to see you soon, little one.”

 

Waving at us goodbye with a warm smile, we reciprocate the same gestures in return.

 

Making our way outside of the ice cream parlor. We both engulf our frozen creamy treats as we walk the sidewalk hand in hand.

 

Once I finish my own cone, I repeatedly wipe the sticky melted mess around Faith’s mouth with the napkin from the ice cream parlor. Mentally cursing myself for leaving my purse containing all of Faith’s essentials back in my car, like her wipes would really come in handy right now.

 

Truly Beauchamp, you deserve the mother of the year award. Great fucking job.

 

The sun is setting, it's slowly getting dark. It’s time for us to turn back.

 

Just as I was about to lead us back to the house, Faith urgently tugs at my hand she’s already holding.

 

“Mama.” Looking at me with pleading eyes, still holding her half melted ice cream cone in the other hand.

 

“What is it lovey?”

 

“I need to pee.” Faith whimpers, crossing her legs, as if she was about to burst any moment now.

 

“Okay hold on lovey, I got you. Don’t worry.”

 

I quickly hoist her to my hip. Instantly, scanning if there were any random public restrooms nearby.

 

There is nothing in sight, it looks like all the shops on the street were closed. I start to panic.

 

Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!

 

Then I see a light from peeping through the blinds of a shop.

 

I run as fast I could towards the light. The closed sign was clearly visibly hanging on the door, but that wasn’t stopping me from knocking on the door hysterically.

 

I know someone has to still be in there.

 

At the moment, I didn’t care to look at what kind of shop it was, as long as it had a bloody toilet. Though if it was a porn shop, I would do my best to cover Faith’s eyes. That’s if whoever the hell is in there would just open the fucking door.

 

Suddenly, I hear someone hollering from the other side of the door.

 

“We’re closed!” For a second I thought I heard an accent. But I quickly push that idea to the back of my mind.

 

“Please I jus--” Before I could even finish my sentence, the same voice rudely cuts me off.

 

“READ THE SIGN! WE'RE CLOSED!”

 

In most cases, I would try to continue to plead politely, but my blood was boiling. Maybe it was the way he rudely interrupted me, or the tone of voice that ignited something within me. I was practically fuming.

 

Turning my attention to Faith, she’s squirming in my grasp. Trying her best not to relieve herself in my arms.

 

“Cover your ears, lovey.”

 

With wide eyes she looks at me with concern, but she did as she was told.

 

I wait until Faith covers her ears while still holding onto her cone. Then I turn back facing the door. Without hesitation I give into my frustration.

 

“I CAN FUCKING BLOODY WELL SEE YOUR SHITTY SIGN! DON’T BE A FUCKING PRICK!”

 

Determined not to give up just yet, I continue to knock furiously. Until finally, the door whips open.

 

I meet a pair of piercing icy cold blue eyes, they were slightly covered with a mess of copper auburn curls. Presuming the aggravating voice belongs to him, because his jaw is clenched so hard I think his teeth might shatter.

 

Apparently, now I wasn’t the only pissed off one here.