Chapter 1: Late night thoughts
...What did I ever do to make my life suck so much? Because by how it’s going so far, I must’ve been a serial killer in my past life.
I get to be born to a single teen mom who is already struggling financially without me and have to be yet another burden on her. Yay.
Getting my brainwashing quirk. Double yay.
Living my whole life in a tiny apartment where there are more broken than functioning things, seeing mom breaking herself apart everyday just to get us enough money to eat and pay rent. Triple yay-
As if getting bullied my whole life and dodging danger at basically every corner around my home. There have to be fucking robots. Just why? Like I knew how much people with ‘heroic’ or ‘strong’ quirks are privileged, but seriously?
I’m just glad I tried for General studies too, since at least I have a chance to get through the sports festival, but that shouldn’t be the only option for people. Just the fact that I expected it is fucked.
And today was the famous ‘First day of school’. I can’t help but add another ironic ‘yay’ to that, because if I were to describe that one day in a word it would be that. …or a string of cursewords
Now I feel stupid for expecting those people to act differently towards me. Once they learn my quirk they all act the same. Disgust, hate or pity. I don’t even know which is worse.
So, let’s just list it out here:
Our introductions contained our quirk, check.
Everyone calls me a villain now, check.
It started raining and I had no umbrella, check.
I fell and now need to repair my new school uniform, check.
I love my life.
Oh, I forgot one thing. The moment mom comes home, she is covered in bruises, cuts and has a black eye all because her piece of shit boyfriend did not like the answer ‘no’. Luckily he’s her ex-boyfriend now. I have to say I’m proud of my mom for doing that.
I love her so much. She literally got kicked out of the house for having me as a teen, but she still kept me. Even after I developed my quirk, she loved me all the same. Now she is working day and night just so she can afford to keep me, and every time I feel like a burden she just keeps reminding me that I am not and how much she loves me.
My life would be so much worse without her, going from foster home to foster home, and who knows what they would do to me with my quirk.
Having a quirk that allows you to control people sucks. Sometimes I wonder how I got ‘blessed’ with genetics to even have something like this. I mean, it is not that different to mom’s quirk Mind sight, where if she holds a conversation with someone, she can slightly look into their brain. Hers only works for like a second though and gives her headaches. I wonder what my dad’s quirk could have been. Several aspects of my mom’s quirk can be also found in mine, but it seems like a little too big of a change to just be a pure mutation of hers…
Welp, not like I ever got to meet my dad anyway. Apparently he was my mom’s boyfriend, but they broke up afterward and when my mom moved to the other side of Japan away from Musutafu with her parents, she lost contact with everyone there. Then boom, and she finds out she is pregnant with me several months later and for some stupid reason wants to keep me.
Honestly she should have simply aborted me, but that’s just my opinion.
She doesn’t tell her parents for a loong time because she is scared of the reaction, and I mean it did not go well… Eh, at least they didn’t kick her out immediately? I mean, the bar is on the ground. They did apparently kept telling her what a disappointment she is though. Then they ‘got fed up with her’ and decided to kick her out when I was 2. I am pretty glad I don’t have any memories of that.
Then it was rough. We were moving around a lot, sleeping in the cheapest motels available, all while my mom was trying every possible thing to get us money. I feel horrible about her having to do all that stuff. I mean it would have been a lot easier for her if she didn’t have to constantly take care of me, though it would be for the best if I wasn’t born at all.
She would not be kicked out of the house in the first place.
Then, a few years ago, we moved back to Musutafu, though it’s not like we knew anybody there. We just moved because my mom got a more ‘stable’ job here. Working in a shitty motel on the wrong side of town.
I mean, I’m glad that she doesn’t have to resort to sex work anymore…
The only positives about this city is that A)There is UA high school, which I am now attending (even though it kinda sucks) and B)This is the town where the pro hero Eraserhead patrols!!
He probably doesn’t patrol anywhere near my house, but him just being in the same city is pretty cool. That man was my hero ever since I got my quirk. I was feeling really sad and in one of the libraries my mom left me to go ‘work’ I searched up all kinds of heroes with mental or ‘villainous’ quirks. I’ve been a fan ever since.
There aren’t many videos of him, but there are a few groups focusing on underground heroes, and they often mention Eraserhead. I am a member of many of these. When I was ten I also made a cardboard version of his googles, and used to play with them a lot. I still have that. I wish that one day I could see him in action.
Its 1 in the morning.
I should probably sleep. It’s not like my insomnia is going to let me sleep much, but I am definitely going to need more energy for my second day of school. I say this calls for another yay.
And with that I close my eyes and after a while manage to fall into the sweet unconsciousness sleep provides me.
I say sleep is great, it’s like death without commitment.
Chapter 2: Meeting Eraserhead
Hitoshi's second day at school + family drama.
In this chapter something finally starts happening, so enjoy reading!
I wasn't sure if this chapter needs any content warnings, but if you think I should add something let me know :)
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Having to wake up early for school sucks.
Not getting any sleep in the first place thanks to insomnia sucks.
Having to design a specific route to school in order to avoid all the nearby gangs sucks.
Almost getting thrown up on by a homeless person sucks.
And I had to do all that. Without a coffee. Why.
And with that I started walking towards school while trying to mentally prepare myself for what’s to come. The only positive is probably that all of the teachers are Pro heroes.
The only ones I know about right now though are Present Mic, Snipe and Cementos. Maybe I should’ve looked into it more… Ah, whatever, doesn't matter...
When I arrived in the classroom I was the first to get there, which was nice since I got to sit down without having to listen to any comments or interruptions. Those were usually quirk related. After a few minutes of enjoying the silence I just picked up his old phone with a cracked screen and tried to ignore all of my surroundings for as long as possible. It proved a little hard when some people ‘accidentally’ shoved into my desk.
I just love people.
I wonder who we have for our first class-
“Hello everyone!! Are you all ready for a super sexy history class with me~?“
Well…Miss Midnight sure was… extravagant.
I’m kinda surprised they allow her to teach here, since she’s the R-rated hero.
Well, now I can at least be sure that I already have the worst behind me…
But just as I say that, I can feel a strange kind of dread settle over me. I wonder what it could be-
“HELLO MY DEAR LISTENERS!!! LET’S GET THAT ENGLISH GOING YEEAAAAHH!!!”
…Why does life always fuck me over like this?
I was tired when I arrived here at school.
Now I’m fucking exhausted.
Fuck this place, fuck trying to get into the hero course, maybe I should just forget it, move to the countryside, get 56 cats and have my own little coffee shop there. Happiness. I could have all kinds of comfy couches and armchairs and blankets, I would spend my time sleeping and-
Suddenly I’m rudely interrupted from my daydreaming by some guy stopping in front of my desk and looking down on me like I’m some piece of garbage lying on the side of the road. He has crossed arms and a pretty ugly snarl on his face, but it looks like that’s the permanent state. Must be sad to be this ugly.
“Hey there villain.”
Wow, how original, never heard that one before.
“How did someone like you even manage to get here? What did you do?”
I just keep staring at him with an unimpressed look. Seriously? How the fuck do you think I got here?? ...He doesn’t seem to like me staying quiet though, and continues:
“I’ll, rephrase it for you, you villain. Did you hack the system? Or did you just sleep with one of the teachers for them to let you attend?”
Please, do I look like someone would pay money to sleep with me? Oh yes, it must be my ~ incredibly sexy ~ pretty much permanent eye bags, or the fact that I literally look like a stickman. Yes, yes, very much fuckable.
Anyway, he leans closer to me looking like an angry mother at Walmart scolding her son. He seems to get madder and madder each second I say nothing. I don’t want this to escalate, since it’s fairly clear who would get in trouble... Luckily for me, one other classmate pops behind him and takes the attention off me:
“Hiro, you need to calm down. How about we let the hero course deal with him instead, It’s their job to take care of villains.”
“Yeah, you’re right. Wouldn’t want to get my hands dirty anyway.”
…Do you ever just feel like stabbing a bitch?
I’m not even trying to find out who I have next period, because it has brought me nothing but pain and suffering yet.
Suddenly the bell rings, but our teacher is still nowhere to be found. After about a minute the class starts talking amongst themselves, and the most common question I keep hearing is speculations about who we are going to have. It’s supposed to be Physics, my favorite subject. Just when I am quietly contemplating whether I should or should not just jump out of the opened window right next to me, the door smashes open. And in walks…
As I am staring in open mouthed shock while my brain has just begun loading, most of the other classmates seem confused and there are a few whispers about who this ‘hobo man’ is and what he is doing here.
Meanwhile, Eraserhead just walks into the class, coffee in one hand and some unidentifiable yellow thing (...is that a sleeping bag?) in the other. Where his teaching materials are would be the question of the century.
But the only thing my brain registers is that. Eraserhead. Is my teacher.
I take it back. this day is wonderful. Life is great. The world is suddenly a better place.
ERASERHEAD. IS. MY TEACHER.
I feel like I’ve just won the lottery.
Eraserhead gives me a kind of a weird look and I just now realize that I have been staring with an open mouth. I immediately look away, this is so embarrassing!
He takes a long swing of coffee (honestly I feel you) and turns to all of us.
“Hello, my name is Shota Aizawa, underground Pro hero Eraserhead, your new physics teacher. Be quiet, do your homework and I might not fail you.”
While the rest of the class is probably thinking something like ‘fuck…’, I am practically vibrating in my seat with excitement. This is probably the first time I’m going to actually enjoy Physics (at least to some extent, like, it is still physics).
The rest of the class is pretty classic, we are just going over the curriculum, grading style and other boring stuff. Or would be boring stuff, if it wasn’t Eraserhead saying it. That man could literally explain how the political system works to me and I would enjoy learning about it. It doesn’t look like the rest of the class thinks this way, but oh well. They all enjoyed having Present Mic and his loud persona here, I deserve to enjoy some classes too.
But seriously, he looks tired as hell. Like if he has patrols at night and then teaches the next day, when does he sleep?
I raise my hand. He turns to me and after a gruff: “yes?” I ask a very unimportant question:
“If we submit our homework late, do we still get partial credit if all the other criteria have been met?”
It is a pretty unnecessary question, but let’s say I just wanted to ask my childhood hero some random question. Yes, I know that I am acting pretty desperate, but right now I can’t really bring myself to care.
For some reason the whole class seems to be completely frozen, I wonder w- oh. OH. Are they fucking serious right now? Do they think I would try to brainwash a teacher??
At least Eraserhead doesn’t to pay it any mind, and answers the question like any other. “No. Once it’s late, it’s late and I don’t care about it. Not my problem. You are…”
“Oh, S-Shinsou. Shinsou Hitoshi, sir.”
I was probably imagining it, but it looked like his eyes slightly widened at that statement. I cannot seem to find a reason why though.
For the rest of the class, his eyes seemed to linger on me just a little longer than the others. Like I said, I could’ve just been imagining it, but I don’t know. It was weird, like did I do something wrong?
Those thoughts didn’t stay in my brain for long though, since they were quickly overshadowed by even more of my fanboying. Eraserhead being my teacher made my day and I feel no shame admitting that.
…Would he mind if I asked him for an autograph one day?
Coming home was as creepy as ever. Walking on a sidewalk littered with cigarette buds and in some places vomit, and then arriving in front of a small abandoned looking set of flats that even ghosts must be scared to enter. And I’m not even talking about all the shady as fuck looking people I see on my way. I’m pretty sure I saw several gang members exchanging some not cocaine substance. Joy.
When I get to our tiny apartment with ripped carpet, flickering lights and walls like they witnessed a gang fight, I take off my shoes and go say hi to my mom. She looks as exhausted as ever, but the way her face lights up when she notices me is one of the most beautiful things I have ever seen. It’s one of the not so many things that make me happy. She gets up to give me a hug while smiling tiredly.
“Hi Toshi, I’m so happy to see you. How was school? Do you have any friends?”
She asks hopefully. I could normally try lying to her, but it just makes me feel bad and she knows anyway.
“…You know how people act around me once they learn my quirk. It’s all the same.”
She slowly pulls away with a sad smile.
“Yeah, I know. Sorry Toshi. Just remember it’s not your fault.”
“…But there was something really great that happened today. You know Eraserhead?”
She giggles. “Know? With how much you talk about him, I could write a novel on him! …Don’t give me that look, you know it’s true.”
…Can’t argue with that.
I ignore the light blush of embarrassment that appears on my cheeks and continue: “Well…he’s my Physics teacher. …And he is even more amazing in person.”
“Wow, I had no idea he taught at UA. I can imagine you weren’t even able to concentrate on the Physics. The important question is though… did you get an autograph??” She smirks.
Now I’m standing in the kitchen washing the dishes while mom is working on some papers, and if it wasn’t for the drunk fight happening next door it would be a pretty relaxing evening. I wash the last chipped plate and put it on the dish rack. Then I turn to my mom and immediately notice the huge frown on her face. That’s not good.
“Mom?” I call out to her. She looks up from the papers and gives me a questioning look. “What’s happening? You… don’t look happy.” I choose my words carefully.
She just looks down sadly. “Toshi… I don’t wanna trouble you with my problems. I’ll do my best to manage this.”
“What’s wrong? Our situation is already pretty bad, what more can even happen?” I tried to joke, but that just seems to make her sadder. “Well…”
“The rent was raised. If I want to manage to pay it off, I’m going to have to take some extra shifts. It’s pretty bad with groceries too. I just-“ She stops herself, tears welling in her eyes. “You…you don’t deserve this. ...you don’t deserve to have all this happening to you. I’m so sorry Hitoshi.” There is one first tear rolling down her cheek.
“You deserve a better mom, a better life, and I am so sorry that I cannot give that to you. I’m a horrible parent.” She starts quietly sobbing.
One moment I was standing next to the kitchen counter, the next I’m wrapping my hands around her and pulling her into a big hug. I start slowly moving my hands up and down her back in a soothing manner. “No mom” I start. “Don’t be sorry. You’re doing the best you can with what you have.”
She just hugs me even harder and continues sobbing into my chest. I just stay there, and after a while I just quietly murmur: “It would be so much easier for you if I wasn’t born. Sometimes I wish I just wasn’t here…”
She immediately pulls away and cups my face between her hands. “Hitoshi, I love you.” She says with tear stained cheeks.
“I love you so, so much. I would never exchange you for anything. And I will never bring myself to regret the decision of keeping you.” She smiles. This time it’s a big one.
You’re the most important person in my life.”
…And now we’re both crying.
Hitoshi is a fanboy, as he should.
Thank you for reading!
Chapter 3: Unwanted visit
Hitoshi experiences some quirk discrimination and gets and gets 'visited' from a certain someone.
Content warnings: hurtful intrusive thoughts, bullying (kind of), physical assault, sexual assault
Stay safe :)
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
The next few days are pretty calm.
We started actually learning in classes, elected our new class president Akiro Takahashi, who is… not very nice to me. But like, who in my class is?
At least Present Mic tuned it down a little bit after that last class, which I am incredibly grateful for. Apart from being so loud, he is (surprisingly) a pretty nice teacher.
Cannot say the same about Midnight though. She’s a total sadist when it comes to giving us assignments. We just started and I already feel like her whole class was made just to spite me. Though apparently that’s how everyone in her class feels. Oh well.
As far as the classmates go, weeell… let’s just say I’m so isolated from them I can now Imagine how people in the Great Coronavirus Pandemic in 2020 must’ve felt. (At least that was an interesting part of history classes)
My mom isn’t doing so good though. She’s been overworking herself like crazy, and even though she puts all this effort in, we have little to no food in the old fridge.
If people actually paid attention to me, I’m sure they would have noticed by now how unhealthy and tired I look. I can’t really blame the tiredness on my insomnia right now though, since our new neighbors are so loud I feel like I’m living directly under a stripclub where they host nightly underground fighting matches.
Right now we have physics with Eraserhead- Mr. Aizawa. Damn it.
Mr. Aizawa. Mr. Aizawa… It takes a while of getting used to.
Anyway, we were all made aware of the fact that the unidentifiable yellow thing he carries around is very much a sleeping bag and when he gives us work to do he just sleeps in it. I guess my question of how he manages everything together with having patrols at night has been answered.
I’m confused about the topic we’re working on right now, so I ask a simple question.
Even before he manages to answer it, Takahashi stands up and says: “Sir! Do not answer his questions, he’s a brainwasher and he will put you under his hold!” After that, he hisses: “Damn villain.”
…Are you fucking serious? Does he seriously think that I would try to brainwash a teacher? Or anyone?? Wait-
Is Mr. Aizawa going to think that I wanted to brainwash him?! No no no no, I don’t want him to ever think that. I would never! But what if he thinks that it’s true, what if he starts hating me, what if he calls me a villain, what if he expels me and calls-
My quickly spiraling thoughts are luckily interrupted by Eraserhead’s tired: “What?”
Takahashi, clearly surprised by the question being aimed at him and not at me, stutters: “W-well, as the class president, I should be warning you against all kinds of evil.” He turns to me. “Some people are just destined to become villains. We should honestly just put a muzzle on him.” Some classmates nod along.
A muzzle? A fucking-
I just sit in my seat hoping to suddenly gain an invisibility quirk, while my eyes are trained on the ground. I just don’t want to see my favorite hero look at me with the same disgusted look I have been getting ever since getting my quirk. I don’t think I can take him calling me a villain like everyone else. I can manage when people I don’t care about call me names, but it would hurt so much more from Eraserhead. Just when I’m internally begging for all of this to just be a bad dream, Eraserhead finally speaks. His voice it just about the scariest thing I ever heard, and I shrink in my seat even more the second I hear it:
“I did not expect this from you, and it makes me so incredibly disappointed to see you acting this way. I do not tolerate this kind of behavior in my class.”
Of course. My eyes slowly start welling up with tears. Of course I have to fuck this up, Eraserhead was my actual teacher and I make him hate me just like everybody else-
“Takahashi, to the principal’s office. Immediatelly.”
My head shots up from the spot on the ground where I was staring for way longer than I should just to see Takahashi staring at Mr. Aizawa with a dumbfounded look and an open mouth. “W-what?! But Mr. Aizawa- he- he just- he tried to brainwash you!! I was simply warning you against a villain!?! I-“
“Shut up.” Eraserhead growls. “I do not and will not ever accept quirk discrimination in this school. And to even suggest putting a muzzle on your classmate- you” He looks across the whole class, who have the same surprised look Takahashi is wearing. “All of you should know better.” There is pure disappointment leaking from his tone of voice.
“But- Mr. Aizawa-“ Takahashi tries again.
“Do NOT make me repeat myself. To the principal’s office. NOW.” Eraserhead even activated quirk while glaring at him and boy, it must look real scary if that glare is aimed at you. At least Takahashi finally took the hint, shut up and got going.
And I’m just sitting here, not even believing this was real. Like- did Eraserhead actually stand up for me? Am I dreaming?
I look at Aizawa sensei and when he meets my eyes, he gives me a soft look before going back to teaching. It’s not quite a smile, but for someone as stoic as him it could be considered one.
Now I really feel like crying.
Even though it’s the evening now, I still can’t stop thinking about what happened in Physics. That was the first time a teacher- no, anyone stood up for me even with the knowledge of my quirk! It makes me happy…
‘Please, he just did it because it’s his job’
‘Don’t be stupid, it’s not like he actually meant it’
‘He must’ve just said it because he has to as a teacher’
‘He doesn’t care about you’
‘You’re not special’
Well… thanks, now the little bit of happiness I had is gone. Great.
Who doesn’t love having intrusive thoughts, especially when they’re so nice?
Huh? Who is it? Mom’s at work and I don’t think anyone else was invited… And to be honest we don’t exactly live in a ‘friendly and welcoming’ neighborhood, so I have no idea whether that is good or bad.
But maybe mom forgot something? I mean she has keys, but in this place all kinds of things can happen.
We don’t have a peephole in the door (we’re just glad that the door is still holding together, which is probably thanks to the duct tape), so I just came over to it and slowly opened it, just a small crack to see who's there.
That’s kind of a stupid decision on my part now that I think about it...
I just started opening the door, but a big hand suddenly grabbed the frame of it and slammed it open full force. Wait, that’s-
It’s my mom’s abusive ex-boyfriend. And he looks furious. And drunk. On no. Before I even manage to do anything, he stomped towards me while slightly swaying and started screaming: “WHRERE IS SHE?!? WHERE IS THAT FUCKING WHORE?!?!!”
Ew, he smells like if you threw a dead body into a trashcan, left it there for a few days and then filled the rotting body with alcohol. Why does he have to stand so close to me? Not to mention having someone like that in your personal space is lowkey terrifying.
“TELL ME YOU PIECE OF SHIT, WHERE THE FUCK IS SHE?!?!” He screams right into my face with the angriest expression I have seen in a long time. Fuck. What do I even say?
“S-she’s not here. And- and she will not for a long time. You should maybe go somewhere else…?” I try to say, because I don’t want to make him even madder, even though listening to him call my mom a whore just makes me want to punch him right in the face.
Not like I would stand a chance against that mountain anyway. It would do about as much good as a fly hitting a glass window.
My tactic of trying not to piss him off doesn’t seem to work though, because if he looked angry before, he looks furious now. I don’t even manage to realize what’s going on and I receive a punch straight in the nose.
I ended up on the floor and can feel a pounding pain in my nose area. I hope it’s not broken, because that was one hell of a punch. I turn my head around just in time to receive another one. “YOU LITTLE BITCH, TELL ME WHERE THAT WHORE IS RIGHT NOW!!!!”
Fuck, I think he split my lip. This is bad, this is really bad.
...Maybe I should use my quirk. But before I manage to utter even a word, he grabs me by the throat and slams me against a wall. I’m practically hanging above the ground and he’s choking me, which is not the ideal situation for my quirk.
Now he’s grinning like a maniac, and if I wasn’t so concerned with the fact that I am currently choking, I would’ve maybe laughed at how grotesque he looks.
Fuck, I can’t breathe-
It doesn’t matter that I’m struggling the best I can, he’s way stronger than me. Fuck! Shit!
Am I imagining it, or does he seem to have calmed down a little? He leans closer to me while still wearing that crazy grin and says: “Or should I use you as a replacement for the old whore since she refused to sleep with me? What do you say, you little bitch?!”
The pervert gets so close I can smell all the alcohol in his breath and pulls one hand away, probably to try and touch me somewhere, and the piece of shit bites me. Hard. On my fucking neck.
Fucking EW. Why me, (or better, why anyone)?
The only positive thing about that is that he finally loosened up the hold on my neck enough for me to speak: “…L-let me go..”
My voice is very raspy and difficult to hear, but at least he heard it. “Aww, don’t be like that slut, I’m sure you and I can have lots of fu-“ And then his eyes glaze over and he freezes.
“…Let g-go of me.” I try to say as loud as his hand still on my throat allows me. He lets go of me.
I sigh in relief. Then, when my head starts clearing up a little, all the information finally catches up with me.
This disgusting piece of shit. Who beat up my mom for saying no. Just tried to rape a literal child after breaking into their house.
Not to mention that he did a whole 180 from trying to rape my mom to trying to rape me. I seriously do not know which is worse.
I clear my throat, and then with a still raspy voice say: “Go as far away from this house as you can. Walk as far as you can until your feet give up under you. And never ever get even close to this house ever again!!” I’m yelling by the end I finish the sentence.
He goes out the door.
All the leftover adrenaline slowly leaves me, and I can feel a horrible pain in in my face and neck area. Fucking fantastic. I’m pretty sure this is going to leave bruises.
I close the barely even functioning door, walk over to my room, avoid all the mirrors and go straight to bed.
I am not dealing with this shit today.
The angst has arrived!!
Don't worry, it will get better :)
Chapter 4: Confrontation
Hitoshi is going to school the next day and hopes nobody notices the bruises. Aizawa does, and the situation escalates.
Content warnings: mentions of physical and sexual abuse, harmful thoughts
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Fuck. Why life, why??
Those are my first thoughts as I look into the mirror the next morning. The only good thing about all this is that my nose isn’t broken (probably). However, there is a pretty nasty bruise on it, as well as my mouth, though my split lip is pretty noticeable as well.
The most shitty-looking part though is my neck. There are purpling bruises in the shape of hands there, and in places it fades into a yellowy color.
Not to fucking mention the very much visible bitemark!! Like what the fuck?? How disgusting do you have to be to- to like- Fuck, now I feel like throwing up just by imagining it…
Also I my body as a whole feels horrible because being thrown to the ground and then against a wall by a mountain like that asshole simply sucks.
And I have school today. Fuck my life.
And if that huge pile of shit wasn’t enough, I could not get any fucking sleep tonight, because every single time I closed my eyes, he suddenly appeared right in front of me. He, with his alcohol smelling breath, nasty hands and horrifying looking grin.
It feels a little stupid of me to be scared of what he could’ve done to me if it wasn’t for me brainwashing him… I mean, it’s not like he actually managed to... you know, so why am I even feeling this way?
I’m pretty sure there are people who daily go through worse stuff than me, so I shouldn’t be all that bothered about it…right?
Anyway, thanks to all that, now I not only feel but look like a walking corpse, with my even bigger and darker than usual eye bags, not to mention I walk like a zombie thanks to exhaustion.
…Well…what the fuck am I supposed to do now???
Okay, calm down… think rationally. I can’t really do much about the bruises on my face and the split lip, but considering my quirk all my classmates will probably assume I got into a fight or something. Whatever. The biggest problem here is the neck.
I don’t have any concealer, but if I go through my mom’s ‘makeup’ (there’s very little, and what is there is very cheap stuff) I might find some.
After a little bit of searching, I found a small bottle of concealer in my mom’s drawer, but it looks super cheap and also doesn’t match my skin tone at all. Well, it’s the best thing I have here, so it will have to do.
Eh… well, the purple bruises are still very much noticeable from close up, but if you look from far away you probably wouldn’t notice without actively concentrating on my neck. The bitemark is still kind of visible, but it’s much better than it was before. It could be worse. I just hope it's going to last through the school day since it's so cheap...
I’ll just lay low for a few days to avoid being close to the teachers. I sit in the back anyway, so unless they call me to the front I should be fine.
I could’ve tried to put bandages on my neck, but combined with the bruises already on my face… that would just draw even more unwanted attention to me.
And after trying to put some concealer on my face, I quickly came to the conclusion that it doesn't help one bit there, and just makes it look like I've got some skin condition.
I quickly put the rest of the concealer back and get dressed. I’m in a hurry, because I want to get out of the house before mom comes home from working the whole night. I know she will notice the bruises the moment she sees them, but I just don’t have the energy to deal with all the explaining now.
I mean, I’m probably not going to feel better in the afternoon either, but eh. That’s future me problem.
And with that I get out the door and start walking toward the school. This is going to be a long ass day.
Trying to appear normal while your muscles are literally screaming in pain is harder than it looks. Luckily no teachers have called me to the board yet, and except the very much expected murmurs about me being a villain who got into a fight it’s pretty calm.
The only subject left until lunch is Physics with Eraserhead. Oh no…
If I can keep sitting in my seat the whole class it would be great. I’m just hoping I won’t have to walk because by this time my muscles are so tired my walking would look…not good.
Well, let’s just hope for the best.
The bell rings and Eraserhead walks in. I try to avoid his gaze, but I can still physically feel his eyes drawn to my face. Fuck. I look up for only a second and see that yes, he is intently looking at my face, specifically my nose and mouth. He probably wouldn’t notice the neck from the other side of the classroom. I hope.
Luckily except for the staring at my face he doesn’t do anything. That’s good.
The bell will ring in 5 minutes. Just five minutes left. Just a few minutes and I can go-
“Shinsou, why don’t you solve this example for us?”
Oh fuck me.
I slowly get up from my desk and start walking towards the front. My walking looks stiff and I know it. He seems to pick up on it too. Fucking fantastic.
He’s watching me like a hawk the whole time I’m solving the problem. I’m honestly kinda scared.
Suddenly, the bell rings. It surprises me quite a bit, so I jump a little at the noise. Whatever, the bell is my savior. Now I can finally leave-
“Everyone, you can go. Shinsou, you’re staying after class.”
Wow. How did I not see that. Great.
Everyone quickly packs their stuff and leave as a huge group, and I can pick up on a few murmured ‘villain’ along the way. They don’t dare to say it out loud anymore in front of Mr. Aizawa.
The moment the classroom is empty, I turn towards Mr. Aizawa, who is now standing next to the teacher table and looking at me with an unreadable expression. This is not gonna go well, I can already tell.
Fuck it: “What did you want to talk about, Aizawa sensei?” I ask politely, even though I’m pretty sure I already know. He sighs deeply. “Shinsou, I’ve been watching you for these couple past days, and. You don’t look healthy.”
Wow, tell me something I don’t know. “Your eye bags, the way you always look like you’re dead on your feet and how skinny you are. This isn’t heathy.”
He turns to stare straight in my eyes. “Those bruises on your face look pretty bad, and I’m not even talking about the purple ones on your neck that you very clearly tried to hide behind makeup. Kid, if something’s happening at home we can-“
“No.” I interrupt him quickly. “No, it’s, it’s- I’m fine, okay? Everything is okay.”
I know it’s a bullshit excuse but like- what am I supposed to say? Also, just because Aizawa sensei stopped someone from calling me a villain in front of the entire class doesn’t mean I suddenly trust him. Second also, now that I think about it, he probably just did that because it’s in his job description. Right?
“…Do you seriously expect me to accept that excuse?” He looks at me with a disbelieving gaze. “You look like you got dragged through hell and back face first, and those bruises on your neck are very clearly from someone much bigger than you choking you.”
I just look at him with a hardened face. “I don’t want to talk about it.”
At that, he gives me a ‘don’t bullshit me’ look. “I- just- me and my mom don’t have much money, so I’m just more tired a- and a little hungry. Okay?” Here, that should be enough.
Another sigh. “Kid, you cannot seriously expect me to leave this be. This is abuse! You need to tell someone so that we can work on fixing it.” Then his eyes zero-in on the bitemark.
For a millisecond, his face morphs into a look that could be considered as horrified, but he quickly exchanges it for his unreadable gaze. “Kid. Has- Has someone been touching you?” If I didn’t know better, I would think he even might have sounded heartbroken just then.
“I just need a name. Kid, we can’t just let someone do whatever they want to you! Whether that’s domestic abuse or sexual assault.”
Shut up, shut up, shut up, shut up! Did I not say I don’t want to talk about it?
I just want to forget that it ever happened, forget him, forget that smell, forget that disgusting grin-
He takes a step towards me while still trying to persuade me into telling him and I just. No, please no. “Kid please. Let us help you. Just tell me who is hurting yo-“
He seems to freeze right in place. Suddenly there are tears rolling down my cheeks and I shout with a broken-sounding voice: “I SAID I DIDN’T WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT!! I DON’T WANT TO! Just- just LEAVE ME THE FUCK ALONE!!!”
And I run out of the classroom.
Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck- Did I just tell Eraserhead all that…? Shit.
I managed to find a quiet spot on the back stairs where no one really goes (especially during lunchtime) and now I’m just full on sobbing and crying my eyes out.
It was too much for me, he pushed me too much. It felt really uncomfortable. But I still shouldn’t have yelled at him like that, I know… Now he’s going to hate me. H-he was just trying to look out for me because he cares, and what did I do? Yell at him and run away.
…Why can’t I stop crying? I keep wiping the tears away, but new ones replace them almost instantly.
And to top it all off, I haven’t had a meal since yesterday afternoon. And that was just some leftovers. And my stomach is making it very noticeable, it fucking hurts. Ugh…
Maybe I should just kill myself.
It would certainly make everything easier.
I’ve been sitting in here for about 5 minutes trying desperately to stop crying like a baby, and suddenly I can hear someone clear their throat behind me. Great, I just hope that this someone is going to leave me alo-
I just stare at him. Then I realize that I’m still very much crying and my face probably looks even worse than before. I quickly look to the ground and even after a while, I refuse to meet his gaze again.
“W-what do y-you want?” I manage to get out of my throat, but it sounds more like a whine than a question. He’s still looking at me with the same unreadable gaze as before. Then, his face softens. “I came here to apologize.”
“W-what..?” I look at him with disbelief. “Why…?” I mean it’s not like he did anything wrong anyway, it was just me and my little stupid emotions that ruined everything.
‘It was all your fault anyway’
‘Crybaby, you really can’t even manage to stop crying’
My fantastic and completely not harmful thoughts get interrupted by his sigh. He’s staring right into my eyes again. “I wanted to apologize to you about pushing you like that. I really should not have done that. It was very irrational of me to think you would want to tell me what happened if I kept pushing you and making you uncomfortable like that. And for that I am sorry.”
New tears make their way out my eyes.
He means it.
Another loud sob pushes its way out of my throat and I hide my face in my hands while pushing my knees to my chest. “…T-thank yo-ou..” I manage to quietly utter. I’m still a sobbing mess, and if I was a little more present, I would probably feel super embarrassed about crying like this in front of my idol, but right now I can’t bring myself to care.
After a few minutes the sobs finally subside and I turn my head around while sniffling to see if he’s still there. He is standing in the exactly same spot he was a minute ago, and he looks like he has a little more to say. Before he gets to that though, there is one thing.
“I’m also sorry…for yelling at you like that…” I say quietly, not meeting his eyes.
“There is nothing to be sorry for. I pushed you and you reacted. I take no offense, so don’t worry about it. You shouldn’t have to apologize for it.” He says in a firm, but somehow calming voice. He opens his mouth to say something more, but decides to instead take a few steps towards me.
“Catch.” And he throws me something. At further inspection, it’s… “…a jelly packet?” I ask outloud.
He just nods and says: “You mentioned being hungry. I’m not gonna pry, but starting next week I’m going to bring you homemade lunches. I am leaving no room for arguments” He adds, when I immediately open my mouth to reject the offer.
He offers a small smile. “I’m pretty sure my husband will be ecstatic to be able to cook for someone.”
I can’t help but offer my own weak smile.
The jelly packet tasted surprisingly good. I still may not understand how someone would try to survive solely on that, but I can’t deny it tastes nice.
And at least now my stomach is happy, and I have a little more energy, which I’m going to need considering when I come home I’m probably gonna have to explain that whole yesterday’s shitshow to my mom.
I'm looking forward to writing some Dadzawa POV soon!!
Thank you for reading! :)
Chapter 5: Explanation
Hitoshi gets home and has to explain la shitshow to his mom. Dadzawa is worried.
There's gonna be Aizawa POV later in this chapter!!
Content warning: mentions of physical and sexual abuse, mentions of foster care, muzzles, mentions of past abuse, harmful thoughts
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Today is like the only day that I’m not pissed off about the fact of just how long school takes. Like, today is my longest day, and I get home at around 5 pm. (I just love the school system sometimes...)
I dread getting home the entire way back to the house. I just wish all those marks miraculously disappeared off of my face and neck…
What am I even supposed to say anyway?
‘Hey mom, remember your abusive ex who beat you up? Well he came to our house, attacked me, then for some reason did a whole 180 and tried to fuck me.’
Definitely not that.
Why life, whyyy??
The journey home went by super quickly (how convenient…usually when I want to get home quickly it takes forever…) and now I’m standing in front of our front door. Great. I take a deep breath and come in, already bracing myself for what’s to come.
At the sound of the door opening, my mom comes to the ‘hallway’ to greet me. “Toshi, welcome ho- OHMYGOD WHAT IN THE WORLD HAPPENED TO YOU?!??” She looks horrified.
Well, she has every right to, I look like shit.
“…hi mom.” The look she’s giving me grows even more worried. “Hitoshi what happened?” She asks. “Wha-who did this to you?”
I just look right into her eyes. This is going to hit her hard. “Your ex-boyfriend...” The words are barely above a whisper.
Her entire face drops.
“…Toshi…” She starts, her voice thick with emotion. Then she notices the bitemark. Her eyes widen and she places a hand over her mouth. “A-and the, the, the-…?” She doesn’t even want to say it.
“Yeah…” My eyes break the eye contact and instead trace all the cuts on our old carpet.
I expected her to yell, be upset, maybe cry, but.. I- I’ve never seen her like this. She is so still, It’s like she isn’t even breathing. Her gaze is shifted to look into a random place in a wall and I mean…
If looks could kill, that dirty concrete wall would crumble right this instant.
I’ve never seen such a mad expression on her face, she looks like she’s planning a murder. OH- “Mom,” I try to reassure her quickly, “He, he didn’t manage to, ..., you know.”
I don’t want to say the word rape. That would make it real. I don’t like that. I’m fine.
The expression on her face softens as she looks at me. She lifts a hand and brushes it gently over my face, slightly tracing the bruises. She’s still quiet. When not looking at me, her gaze is still so hard, almost like she hid it behind a mask.
After me telling her a bit more about what happened, she gives me a big hug and a kiss on the forehead (maybe I should be embarrassed, but now I really do not care) and sends me straight to bed, because I can use as much sleep as I can get. Yay, insomnia. Considering how dead I look and feel right now, I couldn’t really refuse her.
Ah, the sweet embrace of sleep…
…Let’s just say that did not last for very long.
It’s been only about two and a half hours since I went to sleep and the whole time had to deal with having him of all people in my dreams. Fucking great.
My door is slightly open and there’s a thin stripe of light coming from the living-hall-kitchen-dining room. I can hear small sounds of clanking plates coming from there. After a short while, it stops, and then I can hear my mom sitting down on a chair.
I quietly get out of bed and move a little closer towards the small crack the opened door leaves me. She is sitting at a table and is still wearing that weird hard expression. For a while, her eyes are just staring into nothing.
Then, bit by bit, her face crumbles.
The first sob tears its way outside. After that, her entire face is just morphed into one of pure pain and sadness and while covering her mouth with her hands she keeps on sobbing. There is tear after tear rolling down her cheeks and even though she’s obviously trying to keep it down in order not to wake me up, I can hear her muffled sobs clearly.
It’s obvious she’s hurting from what she found out about today, but… Why is she even so sad for me? I don’t get it. Just why does she love me so much?
What good did I ever do to her??
All I’ve brought her is more pain and suffering, if it wasn’t for me, she wouldn’t even be in this fucking situation in the first place!
I pull my knees towards my chest and lean my back against the wall next to the door, while listening to her sobs.
“…M-my b-baby…-“ She whispers between her sobs.
I can feel wetness on my cheeks, but I don’t dare check.
I don’t know for how long she’s been just sobbing, but after some time I can hear her sobs slowly quietening.
“…Shout-ta. I-if only you knew…” Who’s Shouta? ...Oh. OH- that’s my dad’s name, right? I’ve never heard his name before… Me and my mom never talk about that. His first name’s the same as Mr. Aizawas’...
Ha, as if. That’s just the fanboy in me showing. I mean who would not want Eraserhead a s a dad?
…It’s just, whoever my dad may be…I would like to meet him sometime. I just want to see for myself who he is. I know he might not be a very nice person, but… I don’t know, I would just like to see who he is. Meeting him doesn’t sound very realistic, but I can dream.
Not to be misunderstood, I love my mom. And I’m just so spry for all that she has to do. If I was not here, she wouldn’t be crying right now.
She would be so much happier if not for me.
A whisper of: “…I’m s-so sorry Hitoshi…” is the last thing I remember before falling asleep there, curled up against the wall. There are wet spots on the sleeves of my sweater.
“HONEY I’M HOOMEEEE!!!!!!”
Oh god. Of all the people in this world, why did I have to fall in love with a walking megaphone??
“Welcome home, but please keep it down. I have a headache already.”
“Oh come on Shou, it wouldn’t be very ‘rational’ of me not to be exited to come home to my husband!” He’s using my own words against me. I sigh, but reciprocate the hug I receive.
So what? He’s warm.
He just gives me one of his usual bright smiles and asks: “Who’s giving you a headache anyway? I thought you already graded Kaminari’s essay?”
Yes, yes I did. And every single minute of it was pure torture.
“Oh Kaminari’s essay doesn’t even light a candle to this.” I start. “Do you remember the Gen ed kid, Shinsou, I told you about yesterday?”
“Oh how could I forget. You had an angry 20minute rant about quirk discrimination and muzzles. You literally said that if you ever hear any of them say anything like that again you’re bringing them to Bakugou as live targets.” He chuckles at the thought, his own muzzle marks hidden by makeup.
“Though I imagine their class president was probably pissing his pants when you were done with him. It would’ve been fun to watch.”
I give him a creepy smile. “If I hear even one ‘villain’ in that class, I’m bringing you to yell at them instead. I’m just gonna put on some voice canceling headphones and watch it like a silent film.”
He turns to look at me, a similar expression on his face. “Don’t worry, I can make your angry yelling look like a light summer breeze.”
He starts taking off his jacket and sits down on the chair next to me. “But will you finally tell me what’s happening with Shinsou? I still didn’t get any information out of you..”
“Oh right. So you remember when I told you a few days ago that Shinsou looks pretty unhealthy, like in terms of eating and sleeping.” “Yea, you literally compared him to a living corpse.” Hizashi jokes, but after looking at my expression, his gaze grows serious. “Wait, what happened?”
*sigh* “Where do I start. Right, so when I came to the class, I immediately noticed he had several big bruises on his face, a split lip and something on his neck that looked like he dumped a whole bottle of concealer on it. His eyebags looked more like bruises and he seemed to be hardly awake, like if he hadn’t slept for a whole week. He, he looked just like...“
“...Just like you in your first year.” Hizashi finished for me. He looks worried. “Do you know what happened? Is he in a bad situation or like-“ “Oh please, I didn’t even tell you half of it.” I interrupt him.
“When there were just a few minutes of class left, I called him to solve a problem on the blackboard. His walking was so stiff, like if he had to suppress pain on every single step. Though he probably had to...
I’ve seen that exact thing countless times while in the system…”
Zashi pushes his chair closer to mine and side-hugs me. “Hey, it’s fine. You’re okay now.” He whispers. I take a deep breath.
“Thanks. Well, and while he was writing on the board, I looked at his neck and- Zashi, there were purple bruises in the shape of hands there. Somethin- someone choked him so much he had purple bruises across his whole neck.”
“A-and then, later I noticed he also had…”
I sigh deeply.
“The kid had a fucking bitemark on his neck. A fucking bitemark Zashi.” I can hear a sharp inhale of air next to me. My hand is clenched into a tight fist.
Just who- what monster do you have to be to- to want to do that to a literal child??
“I asked him to stay after class. But then, because my emotions got the best of me, I pushed him too much.” I take Hizashi’s hand and intertwine our fingers. “I-I pushed him too far, kept asking who did it and to tell me so I can help him. But I was way too pushy and scared him.”
Hizashi squeezes my hand: “Shou, don’t beat yourself up over this, we both know how much of a personal topic this is for you. What happened next?”
“He started crying and yelled at me that it’s none of my business. Then he ran out of the classroom.”
I make a grimace at remembering that. Yeah, I should have definitely tried a different approach. I just hope he doesn’t hate me too much…
“That’s when I realized how uncomfortable I made him and just stayed in the classroom for a minute to calm myself down before coming to find him. I found him crying at the stairs next to the back exit. When I made my presence known to him, he flinched and looked like he was expecting me to be mad at him. It’s just…”
“Yeah…” Hizashi nodded his head thoughtfully, “It reminds me of all the times you told me about your past foster homes. ...Do you think Shinsou is a foster kid too?”
“Eh… I don’t think so? I'm not sure, but that doesn’t immediately mean that his situation is completely different. Ugh... there are so many similarities honestly…
But back to the story. So I apologized, gave him my reasons for apologizing and, just, just if you could see his face. He looked so surprised! Like if people don’t usually apologize for making him so uncomfortable he cries. That’s so fucked up.”
I take an angry inhale and get back on track: “And since he mentioned somewhere before in the conversation that he and his mum don’t have ‘enough money, so he’s a little hungry’, where that ‘little’ made him look like a starving stray cat, I just… threw one of my jelly pouches at him.”
Hizashi looks at me. He keeps looking at me, and I grow a little hesitant.
Then suddenly, he starts laughing. Like super loud.
“OH MY GOD!!! Shouta, I know this is a serious subject, but you- yOU THREW A JELLY-“ He has to stop because he’s laughing too hard. He clutches his stomach and wheezes out: “YOU THREW A FREAKING JELLY POUCH AT THE KID!! AND THAT’S YOUR IDEA OF APOLOGIZING!?!?!”
“Oh shut it.” “OH MY-I WISH I SAW THAT!!!”
Sometimes I’m just happy out apartment has soundproof walls…
“Would you be fine with making lunches for Shinsou?”
“Huh?” He looks up from the English on his laptop that he planned to assign to the second years. “Oh right, you mentioned he doesn’t bring lunches with him..."
I get up from the couch (with the cats dismay) and walk over to the table. “I also already told him that I might bring him something from my wonderful husband.” I smile at the last part.
He smiles brightly. “Of course! I would love to, do you know what he likes?”
“I’m pretty sure he isn’t picky, but I can ask him later.”
"Just make sure he doesn't get addicted to jelly packets like you. You're a goner, but he can still be saved!!"
"I regret even asking..." Jelly packets are logical and easy. He has no idea what he's talking about...
Then Zashi's expression gets slightly more serious. “And… what about, you know.” I slouch into a chair and sigh. “I don’t know. I definitely suspect physical abuse and also maybe… sexual abuse?” I look up into Zashi’s eyes.
He returns my worried look: “These cases are the worst, they fuck up your mental health for the next few weeks.”
“If it gets that hard for someone like us, imagine what it does to the person who’s been through it…”
The mood became gloomy. I just add: “For all I’m saying, it doesn’t have to necessarily happen at home, it’s just the most possible explanation…”
“I hope we can help him Shou.”
“Yea, me too…”
Hizashi suddenly puts on a mischievous smile: “It’s almost like if he was your son. You two are so much alike.”
“Oh shut up.” I mean, he is pretty on point. But Shinsou being similar to me is just a coincidence.
“I mean it, it’s almost like if you two were related.”
“That’s practically impossible and you know it.”
“Yea, yea, but you cannot deny you aren’t starting to care for him as if he was your son.”
“HA, I KNEW IT!!!!”
“Zashi, my ears!!”
Thank you for reading! :)
If you think I should add something to the content warnings, let me know!
Chapter 6: Lunch conversations
Aizawa joins Hitoshi for lunches and they bond over cats. Then he gives Hitoshi a chance to fulfill his dream.
I never thought it would be this hard balancing an essay, group project, fanfic writing and sleep :D
At this point I might as well be running on pure caffeine.
Content warnings: brief mentions of sexual assault and nightmares to do with it, mentions of bruises
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Luckily, over the weekend the bruises mostly faded, so when I went back to class on Monday they were much less noticeable. The most visible part is still my split lip, but overall it's good and everything is healing pretty quickly. The purple handprints on my neck also faded, and now are a fainter yellowy color.
Well, better than nothing.
And certainly better than my nightmares. I mean, it’s not like I sleep much anyway, but that- that. That thing just keeps me awake at night. Once I had a dream he was inside of my room. I stayed awake the rest of the night.
I still don’t get it.
He didn’t even do that much damage, so why?
Why do I still have nightmares about him and what he could have done to me if it wasn’t for my brainwashing?
…huh. This is like the first time that me having a brainwashing quirk actually helped me.
Now it’s lunchtime. Obviously I don’t have a lunch, yay. For some reason I found myself on the same place where I went last Friday, when I had that breakdown in front of Eraserhead. Ugh, now that I think about it, it’s just… so embarrassing.
But there are no people here, and some privacy is nice. I guess I’m just going to sit here and look at the ceiling…
Or not. I turn around to see Mr. Aizawa carrying…a lunchbox? He comes closer: “Do you mind if I sit next to you?” Huh? I shake my head slowly. Why would he want to sit next to me over lunchbreak? Or anytime?
He sits down, then turns toward me and holds out the lunchbox. “It’s for you.” He clarifies after I look at it like he just tried to give me a ticking time bomb.
I slowly take the lunchbox from him. “My husband made it for you.” Oh right, he mentioned bringing me lunches starting now…
“T-thank you…” I say unsurely. I open it and hesitantly take a bite.
Oh. My. Go- It tastes so good!! My eyes widen, and my stomach reminds me of how hungry it actually is. I start shoveling the food in, even though I know I should eat slower but I can't help it.
...maybe it's just because of the hunger, but it's one of the tastiest things I've ever had...
“Can- can you tell your husband that the food tastes amazing…?” I hesitantly ask after eating about half of it, and after he nods I add: “Also could you tell him thank you for me please...?”
“Sure kid.” He says while pulling out a jelly packet.
“Why do you eat those when your husband cooks so well?” The question slips out before I manage to stop it, and just when I’m about to apologize for being rude, he answers.
“He’s actually wondering the same thing. I mean, I eat his food at home, I just use these while doing hero work. …They’re convenient.”
I can’t help but chuckle at that.
After a while of silence, Mr. Aizawa suddenly asks: “Do you like cats?” “Why?” I ask. “Well, I have 3 at home, so-” My head whips around so fast I can see Eraserhead’s widened eyes, before his face quickly returns to his normal resting bitch face.
“Do you have pictures?”
And that’s how we spent the whole lunchbreak looking over Mr. Aizawa’s cat pictures on his phone. They were basically the only thing in his gallery. I found out he has a big fluffy black cat Jelly. Gee, I wonder where he got that name from...
The second cat’s black and white, and its name’s Dog. Why. Just why. Apparently his husband named it.
Now that I think about it, what kind of husband someone like Mr. Aizawa would have… He would probably be a quiet person, maybe someone who likes to read? Or just someone as stoic as him? ...now that I imagine it, it looks pretty unsettling...
And the third one, Sushi, is an old orangey cat. It’s cute, and Eraserhead said that he had it since he was a teenager.
Seeing cats always makes my day better. They are amazing. If I didn’t want to become a hero, I would want to own a cat café. Or… you know how they sometimes talk about ‘old crazy cat ladies’?
That. I want to be that.
They do be living my dream…
That evening, I even catch myself looking forward to the next day. Maybe Mr. Aizawa is going to talk to me again? It was kind of nice… I don’t get many people talking to me, they’re usually too scared of me brainwashing them. But he’s not. It just… it really feels so damn nice.
The next day, we meet on the same spot. He brings me lunch, I thank him and we sit down on the stairs. This time, I’m the one to start the conversation: “...Aizawa sensei, can, can I ask a question?”
He looks up from his food. “Sure kid, you can always ask questions.”
“How do you manage having a family on top of being a hero?” He sighs. “That’s a tough question kid, but I guess… I mean, my husband is also a hero, but he’s a daylight one. In general, there are lots of compromises. But if you really love someone, you manage to find time for them. In my case it’s my husband and our 3 cats.”
Huh… that sounds sweet. I always thought that underground heroes don't get to have much of a life outside of work, so at first it was kinda surprising that Eraserhead is married.
Over the course of the week, we keep meeting, and over time I slowly get more and more comfortable around him. Sometime, we even joke around. It’s nice. And I also got to know a whole lot of things when it comes to hero work, and especially underground heroics.
“…I just… I wanted to just really thank you for, for this. For the food, and also for spending time with me. I- it really means a lot.” I say while staring at a dirty spot on the ground.
“Kid, it’s fine, it’s not like I’m doing much here anyway. And I genuinely enjoy spending time with you anyway. I had no idea we’re so similar.” I hear Eraserhead say.
True, we both like sleep, caffeine, cats and quiet. Though at this point I’m pretty sure there’s more than that.
“No, really, I, me and my mom…” I start hesitantly. This is a difficult topic, but I feel like I can share at least something... He has been so patient with me, he deserves to know at least part of it.
He seems to sense my uncertainty, and says: “Don’t feel pressured to share anything with me, you don’t have to if you don’t want to.”
It feels really nice having someone that doesn’t push you for information. It seems he learned from the first time, and now he doesn’t push me in the slightest. It feels good to have someone care about you that much that they would notice. I take a nervous breath.
“O-our finances aren’t doing the best, and even if my mom is pushing herself every day at work, she is still struggling to pay rent. And with the cost of my school uniform and books, if we want to pay this rent we can’t afford to use almost anything on food.” I was always taught to keep quiet about our financial situation, since there are a lot of people who would try to use it to their advantage, but I feel like I can trust him.
He looks me in the eyes: “Thank you for sharing that with me. And also, don’t feel guilty about taking food from me. Me and my husband have more than enough and he’s happy to cook for someone who apparently doesn't eat 'like an astronaut’.”
I smile happily, which
as you could’ve already noticed I don’t do very often.
“So…” I start in an innocent sounding tone, “Who’s this mystery husband of yours anyway?”
I never actually get the answer out of him, but it’s nice trying.
The week flies by and suddenly it’s Friday. Me and Mr. Aizawa are sitting in our usual spot and eating lunch together has become something like a routine for the two of us. I also don’t feel as hungry over the rest of the day anymore, so that’s great too.
Who doesn't like not starving, am I right?
“So, Shinsou, you want to be a hero, right?” He asks me suddenly.
“I, uh, yeah. Yeah I would…” I answer, kind of unsure where he’s going with this.
He looks at me with a serious gaze. “Why do you want to be a hero?”
“…Is that a serious question or…” “Yes. I mean it seriously. Why, or what pushes you do be a hero?” He patiently asks again.
Huh… I’ve never really thought about it that much, but…
“I guess… I mean, of course I want to save people, that’s what the job is about. Saving people from bad guys and ensuring safety. But also…if I get specific, I would like to be a model to other kids with ‘villainous’ or mental quirks. To show them that they can be heroes too…”
I bite my lip, and I’m unsure whether I should add the last part. Well, whatever:
“You know… I wanted to be a hero ever since I was little, and for some time, it felt really sad that there was no one ‘like me’? A-and then, I… I found out about the hero Eraserhead. You have a mental quirk, and some people consider it ‘villainous’ too, since it can take away other quirks… so yea…”
I can feel my face gradually getting warmer and warmer through the whole thing, and in the end I’m pretty sure my face is beet red. Mr. Aizawa is being weirdly quiet, even for him. But when I look over to him, I can see why.
The look on his face was of pure shock and he showed about the most emotion I’ve ever seen on him. He looked like he wanted to say something, but was finding no words to do so. If I wasn't so embarrassed myself, maybe I would have made fun of how he looks like right now.
After a moment, he cleared his throat. “Really?” He asked.
“I had no idea someone actually looked up to me…” He whispered the end, probably not expecting me to catch it.
I did anyway.
After that we ate the rest of our food silently. Only when we've almost finished eating I start the conversation again: “I was actually taking the entrance exam for heroics too, but the exam is…kinda biased? If I can put it that way, like, what can my quirk do against robots?”
“I completely agree.” He says, his voice sounding a little annoyed.
“I had the same problem when in your age, since my quirk doesn’t really do anything to robots either. I’ve been trying to convince Nezu to change it, but even if he tried the Hero Commission wouldn’t allow it. They benefit from how it works now so they don't care about all the students who could fall through the cracks.”
Silence stretches among the two of us again, but this time It’s comfortable instead of embarrassing. Just after we both finish out lunches, Mr. Aizawa stands up and turns to me: “If you had a chance of becoming a hero, would you take it?”
“Of course!” I answer immediately.
I thought that much was obvious.
“And would you be willing to work hard for it? People with quirks like ours always have to put in at least twice the effort.”
“Of course I would. Becoming a hero is my dream.” Where is he even going with this?
“In that case.” He grins. “Shinsou Hitoshi, I’m offering train you for the heroics department. It will be hard, but you have potential and the right motivation.”
“So, what do you say?”
“…Do you really mean it?”
“It would be irrational to lie.”
THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
(Of course I said yes.)
…and I might have cried some happy tears on my way home.
But no one actually saw that, so it didn’t happen.
This chapter was pretty sweet, however I do have some big bad angst planned for the future :)
(It might take me a little longer to write the next chapter simply because school & deadlines ...yay.)
Chapter 7: The name
Hitoshi comes home and tells his mum about getting trained to be a hero by a very specific gentleman. Dadzawa got attached.
In the end I managed not to post this too late, but it's shorter than usual because MATH IS EVIL. I'm suffering and coffee is my only friend.
Content warnings: mentions of throwing up
I'm not sure if someone would need a warning for a coming out scene, buut.... here ya go :)
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
After discussing the possible training times, me and Mr. Aizawa parted ways with me going back to my wonderful and full of love classmates. Joy.
After suffering through another class with Midnight, I grew to realize she was actually holding her ‘extravagantness’ back the first few days, and was only now starting to be more open with us.
0/10, would not recommend.
Today, the walk home seemed unnaturally long. Love it, whenever I don’t want to go home it’s like I’m literally living across the street from the school, and when I actually want to be home quickly, if fells like I’m walking across the whole ass Japan.
After dodging several drunks and avoiding a dangerous looking gang I finally arrived to the front door.
“Mom, I’m home! And I have something important to tell you!”
“Are you coming out? Am I supposed to act surprised?”
She comes out of the kitchen (no pun intended) and after looking at my red face smiles innocently. “Okay honey, whenever you’re ready! Just know I will always support you, love who you love!” While making a small heart with her hands.
“Mooom…” I whine and cross my arms on my chest. “That’s not even what this is about…”
“Oh, so should I expect the Coming out to be later?” She smirks.
“Not if you keep annoying me about it.” I huff and go towards my room to drop off my bag.
After coming back I give her a hug from the back while she’s cooking. It smells nice. I like her cooking, though she usually doesn’t have enough time or ingredients to cook stuff.
It almost feels homey in here… If you disregard the stains on the ceiling, the molding wallpaper and furniture like it went through several wars.
After a while of quietly standing there, I ask hesitantly: “…did, did you really mean it…?”
She turns around, smiles and hugs me back.
“Of course Toshi. I will always love you.”
I huff again. “Fine, I’m gay.”
“ I knew it!!!”
She hugs me tighter, and after a minute whispers: “I love you so much Toshi.” These words make me genuinely smile, which doesn’t happen often. “I love you too mom.”
…now that I think about it.
“…How did you know anyway?”
“Toshi… it’s painfully obvious.”
“…you know, your dad’s actually gay too.” The sentence catches me off guard just when I’m balancing all of our dirty dishes on my hands, and almost makes me fall, to which my mom laughs.
Though I’m pretty surprised by the fact she even brought up the topic of my dad. In here, we usually try to avoid it as much as possible. But…
“Wait…” I say outloud. “If my dad’s gay, then how did you two…- Nevermind.”
I stop her as soon as she opens her mouth to say something. “I don’t want to know.”
“Toshi, we just-“
I stop her again. “Do not want to know.”
She gives me an amused look and goes: “Okay, jeez, just because you came out as gay doesn’t mean I can’t tell you about my and your dad’s se-“
“NOT. A WORD.”
At this point we’re both suppressing laughter. I like this. Last Friday night was so depressing, so I’m glad today is more or less lighthearted. Neither of us is crying or telling the other something heartbreaking, we’re just having fun. I could get used to this.
“Oh, come to think of it, at least he could give you ‘The Talk’, since I’m not very experienced in that area…”
All of our bickering made me completely forget about what I originally wanted to tell her when I came home today. I only realized after looking at my math homework, because that shit makes my brain think about anything and everything that isn’t math.
“Mom!” I walk out of my room. She’s sitting at the table with some paperwork.
“Yes Toshi?” “You know how when I came home I wanted to tell you about something before you completely changed the subject?”
She looks up at me. “Yeah. What is it Toshi? Are you perhaps dating someone?”
I look at her with a lifted eyebrow. “Mom. I look like a walking corpse. Anyone attracted to me might as well be a necrophile. Also that’s not it at all. …ehh, you know how I want to be a hero?”
She nods and puts away her pen in order to pay her full attention to me. I appreciate that.
“So, Mr. Aizawa offered to train me! He’ll help me get into the hero course mom!” I smile.
She however looks like she just got struck by lightning.
“…Mr. who?” She asks hesitantly.
Huh? “Um, Aizawa Shouta, Eraserhead?” I say.
She pales at that statement. Why?
“Uh, mom, didn’t you hear me? He will help me get into the hero course, that’s amazing!” She just sits there and after a while, she nods. “..Y-yes, tha-that’s great Toshi…” She whispers. Her face starts gaining an unhealthy color.
“Mom, are you okay? You look sick.” I ask worriedly.
She just says: “Y-yea, I’m just… not feeling well right now. But it’s great Toshi, I-I’m glad that you got this opportunity.” Just when I’m about to advise her to go to bed early and get a lot of sleep, she gets up from the chair so abruptly that it falls to the ground and runs straight to the bathroom.
According to the noises I hear from there I assume she threw up.
I feel bad for her. I would say that she must’ve eaten something bad, but we both ate the same stuff and I’m feeling completely fine. Also we didn’t eat much in the first place, and she seemed fine a few minutes ago.
I just hope it’s going to be nothing…
“Zashi.” I get his attention from preparing for his next radio show, and he looks up with a questioning gaze. “What?”
“I’m going to train the kid to get him to the hero course.”
“Don’t you mean your kid?”
“Oh shut up.”
“But still,” Zashi continues as if I never said anything. “You see yourself in him, don’t you?”
“With how his body is now, he wouldn’t get too far in the Sports festival. He has potential is all I’m saying, and it would be a shame for the hero world if he were to fall through the cracks just because of a flawed hero exam.” I simply answer. “It’s only rational.”
“Yeah yeah, you and your rationality. Buut… are you sure it would be a shame just for the hero world?? Are you suuureee there are no personal feelings at allll in thereee??”
“OHHH, YOU GOT ATTACHEDDD!!!”
“I hate you.”
“YOU CANNOT DENY THE TRUTH NO LONGER!!!!”
“I want a divorce. And I’m taking the cats.”
At this point I feel like I'm just projecting onto Hitoshi by giving him an accepting mom.
...I'm really calling myself out today.
Chapter 8: The (whole) truth
Aizawa starts Hitoshi's official training, his mom breaks the truth to him and our boy has an existential crisis :)
This chapter was more of a calm before the storm, so there's not that much happening right now. But it will be soon...
Content warnings: spiraling/hurtful inner thoughts, retelling of possibly traumatic events, ...self deprecation?
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
The weekend goes by painfully slowly.
I just want Monday to finally arrive! Me and Eraserhead are going to have out first training session! Something in life is going right for me, and that’s a first.
Though my mom is still acting weird… After that one time of mentioning my dad, she now seems to avoid that topic more than ever.
And every single time I mention training with Eraserhead, she just seems so… uncomfortable?
I don’t know, maybe it’s because on some days I’m gonna return home only after she’s already left for work? That could be it. It makes me sad too, but there’s not much I can do to help with that…
By the time Monday comes I feel like I’ve been waiting a month.
The school day drags by as quickly as a snail on sedatives (as expected) and I spend the last period simply staring at the clock. The second the bell rings, I grab my backpack and I’m out the door before the teacher even manages to say anything.
I run into one of the changing rooms, quickly put on my gym clothes and go out into the gymnasium where me and Eraserhead are supposed to meet.
He’s already sitting there and is looking at something on his laptop. Upon further inspection, it’s…
He quickly closed his laptop and with a ‘you saw nothing’ look he says: “Let’s get started then.”
Everything hurts now, but it’s worth it. Would and will do this again.
But still, I’m pretty sure I’ve never ran that much in my entire life. If a serial killer tried to chase and kill me, I would simply let them.
Well, at least now I know I need to work on my speed, endurance, strength, and… basically everything. Great.
Not that it was unexpected, but still, having your butt kicked by Eraserhead so bad… yikes.
But there’s still that part of my brain that’s just like: ‘We are getting trained by Eraserhead!! This is amazing!!’ and at that my hurting muscles probably want to punch them in the face.
Oh well, I’m probably going to get better by the next session…
I ended on my ass more times than I can count.
According to Eraserhead, it’s going to take more time than just a few days to get me to a presentable shape and I get that, but… Why the running??? Like there’s no actual way heroes run around half as much as what he’s making me do right now.
At the end, he gave me his phone number and made sure I saved it into my phone. Apparently to text or call him if I ever needed help.
And here I was hoping he would just forget that ‘incident’. Though to admit, it was a little unrealistic, and at least he’s not being pushy about it.
Plus, now I have Eraserhead’s phone number!! …Sorry, I can’t help it.
Arriving home, I soon became confused as to why my mom isn’t already preparing to go to work.
At this point she'll be late, and that's not good.
“Uhh, mom?” I call out to her. “Aren’t you going to be late to work?”
“Oh, I’m working later today, and instead I’m going to go there earlier tomorrow.” She answers with a tired smile. “Actually, the reason for that is because I wanted to discuss something with you…”
‘Discuss something with you’, that does not look good…
“Um, okay?” I’m pretty confused, and I’m sure it can be heard in the tone of my voice. “Is it something bad?”
I’m pretty much expecting it to be a big bad thing. Something is finally going right in life for me, so of course it has to be crushed by yet another disaster...
She stops herself as to think: “Eeee, de-pends on how you look at it?” She offers a forced smile.
Uh huh… pretty bad then.
She sits at our old stained sofa and motions for me to sit next to her. I sit down, but my brain is preoccupied with possibilities of what exactly it could be.
We're already struggling with paying rent, we live in a borderline haunted/decomposed house, our neighbors are probably murderers or belong in some sort of gang/cult and the roof could fall on our heads any time now, so what else could it possibly be???
Did she get kicked out of her job? But if that was the case, she wouldn’t be telling me how she’s going there afterward…
Did that crazy ex-boyfriend of hers do something? Or did the landlord just straight-up kick us out??
“Hitoshi!” My mom’s voice snaps me out of my quickly spiraling thoughts. “Are you okay? You kinda spaced out there…”
Oh, right. She didn’t manage to even tell me what the ‘presumably bad’ news is, because I was too busy listening to my thoughts to actually listen to her.
“Uh, yeah, sorry…”
“It’s fine.” She ruffles my hair with a gentle smile. Then, her expression goes more serious. “…Maybe you noticed me acting a little strange for these past couple days…”
I snort out a laugh. “’Maybe’ and ‘a little’? Mom, I might not be a genius when it comes to human emotion, but you were very much obvious about the fact that something is wrong.”
“Okay, okay, you’re right…” She gulps and it’s evident she has no idea how to start. I quickly abandon my earlier attempt at a joke and put on a serious expression.
“Uhm, well, do, do you know why you only live with me? A-and you didn’t meet your dad?” She asks uncomfortably.
Oh, so this is going to be a conversation about him.
Well, that is better than all of the worst scenarios my brain was thinking up before. Though it's still a hard topic for the both of us.
“Yea, I think I know the basics of it…” I begin talking quietly.
“From what I heard from you, he was your boyfriend and you didn’t date for very long. Then I think you mentioned something about going to some party…? And you broke up soon after because you moved, and when you found out you were pregnant with me he was long out of the picture? That’s all I know, also I’m not sure about that last part…”
All the information that I actually know has been gathered overtime, from little pieces dropped every once in a while.
She nods her head thoughtfully. “You’ve got most of it right. I’m planning about telling you the rest today, actually.” Her entire demeanor is looking pretty determined, even though this is a topic that she's been avoiding for as long as I’ve been alive.
“Well, …where to start. Me and Shouta started dating, because I worked part time in a cat café he attended.”
Huh, …is that where my love for cats comes from?
“We were each others first 'love', ot like we really knew how love even feels... We just kinda liked each others company, and yea... mostly we spent time together because we both liked the quiet, and we weren’t even dating for a month, when…”
She sighs. “When I made the biggest mistake in my life.”
“I didn’t have very good friends, and I was also stupid. I dragged Shouta on a party where we were not supposed to be. Those ‘friends’ of mine dared me to drink. I did. I just… I thought that they would like me more. I know well how stupid that was now.
I drank a lot, and even Shouta did a little after a while. What I did not know though was that they mixed something into the drinks. It was some kind of …drugs? I think…? Well, and that’s how me and your dad ended up…you know…” Her voice is almost a whisper by the end.
“The day after, I realized how stupid all of it was, and I felt horrible. Luckily my parents didn’t find out about that, but we were still planning to move. Me and Shouta broke up very soon after that night, we didn’t fit well together and he also confessed he’s gay, which he realized only after that night…”
There are tears in her eyes. She smiles sadly. “He was very nice, Toshi. Your dad was a good person. I feel like it’s important for you to know that...”
The whole time I’m just sitting there stunned. This is the first time I’m actually hearing the whole story…
And it’s finally starting to make actual sense.
“When leaving, I cut contact with everyone back home, also because of many ...rumors surrounding that night. I never spoke to anyone there again, so when I realized I was pregnant a few months after, I, I just…” The tears start falling.
“..T-toshi, how… how do you feel about… y-your dad..?” She asks with a shaky voice, sobs interrupting her words every once in a while.
What do I even say to that? What do I think about a man I’ve never met?
“Y-you can say you hate him, it’s okay Toshi.” She asks as she notices my hesitation.
...I’m not really sure, but from what I heard from you he doesn’t necessarily seem like a bad person… a-and I’ve never really held any kind of grudge against him or anything.”
After a moment of hesitancy, I add: “I-I know it sounds kinda stupid, but I.. I would like to meet him sometime.”
I look up to meet her eyes. “Sorry…”
Her face quickly grows confused: “What are you sorry for, Toshi?”
“Well, you’re the one who raised me, you’re the one who has sacrificed so much just to be able to keep me, and me saying I would like to meet someone who hasn’t, I just… aren’t you mad?” Another tear slips down her cheek.
“Oh Toshi…” She envelopes me in a tight hug.
“I love you, and whatever you choose, I will always love you just the same.”
That sentence hits hard.
I can feel my eyes stinging and tighten the hug.
After a few minutes, mom slowly lets go of me, wipes away what’s left of her tears and takes a deep breath to stead herself.
“If…” She begins. “If I were to tell you that I figured out where he is… what would you do?”
“Wait… really???” I’m pretty sure my eyes are as wide as can be and suddenly my voice grows serious.
“Are you serious?” I might just need to make a pause right there, there’s no actual way. I thought I would never ever get to know!
“Mom, that’s-“ I stop myself. “Wait, mom, is that …good? Or bad?”
I’m studying her face trying to find any kind of clue as to what this means for us. She looks just as hesitant. “Do… do you want to know what his full name is?” She just asks.
I nod with a lifted eyebrow, cause how's that even going to tell me anythi-
“His name is Aizawa Shouta.”
No, no no no no, there’s NO ACTUAL WAY.
“Hitoshi, it’s okay if you don’t know what to say now. However, the things I said are true.” She combs her hand gently through my gravity defying hair. “I’m going to leave to work in a moment, so take as long as you need to.”
It’s been 10 minutes now, and I’m sitting in the exact same spot when she left.
Just.. how THE FUCK.
Mr. Aizawa… is my dad.
Eraserhead iS MY DAD?!?!?!
I feel like my brain is made out of jelly as I slowly lift myself from the old couch and get myself straight to bed.
Not like I’m planning to actually sleep (I’m not that unrealistic), but I’d rather have my existential crisis in my bed than in the middle of our ‘living room’.
…Eraserhead is my dad.
My biological dad.
Did I just get teleported to some fucked up parallel universe?!?
Cause there’s no way.
Wait… in a way, it would kind of make sense as far as my quirk goes…
OH MY GOD. Eraserhead can take away people’s quirks, I can take away people’s free will!!! hOW DID I NOT NOTICE THAT BEFORE????
My childhood hero and idol is my dad. It feels so weird to say it. Honestly in a way it feels great, like who wouldn’t want Eraserhead as a dad?? I mean yeah, not many people like him, but I do!
This whole time I’ve been thinking about all of this like he would just accept having me as a son without problems, but…
He probably wouldn’t like me, would he?
Fuck… I mean, I’m a moody teenager with insomnia, childhood trauma and villainous quirk, not to mention he most definitely would not be very fond of having the consequence of his teenage mistake following him around all the time. Oh no…
I would love having him as my dad. But I’m pretty sure he would hate having me as a son.
Scratch that, absolutely sure.
And now with our lunches and training, it’s almost like if he was in the role of my father. And it just… it means so, so much to me.
I don’t wanna lose it when I just got it.
Welp, that’s it. I’m not telling him. Ever.
If I told him, he would probably not believe me in the beginning, and after some proof would hate me. He would hate me so much.
I’m used to seeing all the looks on the faces of others, but I don’t think my mental health can handle seeing that same disgusted look on his face…
He would tell me to my face he wants nothing to do with me ever, stop having lunches with me and stop training me. And he would definitely make sure I never get into the hero course.
And I am not planning on having any of those things happen.
That reminds me… I have training with him tomorrow.
And I am a very bad actor.
It was pretty hard for me to write this part and be satisfied with the result, so I hope to stick with this.
As much as I'd love having the reveal for Hitoshi be an even bigger boom than it already it, him knowing now is going to be relevant for the plot... and at this point I feel if I made it any more dramatic he and Dadzawa would probably both end up with heart attacks :))
Heavy angst incoming for next chapter!!!!
Chapter 9: A random alley
Hitoshi gets nervous around Dadzawa, then on the way from school has an impromptu meeting with a piece of shit.
READ THE CONTENT WARNINGS!!!
THE ANGST HAS ARRIVED!!!
Hehe, now I get to make everyone reading this depressed :)
For real tho, read the content warnings, it's not gonna be pretty...
Content warnings: rape, assault, hurtful inner thoughts, muzzling, dissociation, choking (tell me if I should add any!!)
The rape scene doesn't really use explicit/concrete words to describe it, cause if that was the case I probably would've driven myself into a panic attack :)
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
I’m dreading lunch the whole day, because during lunch me and Mr. Aizawa (…dad?) usually talk. And I’m very aware of not being able to pretend nothing’s wrong. My acting skills are on the level of a washed up jellyfish. Great.
If I wasn’t so hungry maybe I would consider hiding somewhere.
But I am hungry, so here I am.
“Shinsou, you seem pretty tired today. Way more than usual at least.”
No shit Sherlock, I wasn’t able to get any sleep because I kept thinking about YOU being my DAD the whole motherfucking night!
“Uh, yeah… insomnia sucks.” I just say nervously, while all of my remaining braincells are praying to whoever may be up there ‘just don’t ask just don’t ask just don’t ask just don’t ask...’.
The rest of the braincells retired a long time ago, whether it was by the amount of coffee I drink, the amount of sleep I get, the amount of food and drink I get or just because.
I mean If I was my own braincell I would do the same, so it's not like I can really blame them.
“Hmm…” Just that one word can make my anxiety rocket up to the sky. “Do you take any medication for it?” He asks. I internally sigh with relief.
“Uh… medication is expensive…?” I’m pretty sure he understands the statement lying under that sentence. He nods slowly.
Luckily for the rest of the lunchbreak he keeps the attention off of me by dramatically explaining what his cats did at home yesterday.
In the beginning I was surprised that someone as stoic as him can be dramatic, but I guess his husband is rubbing off of him. …Or he’s just dramatic when it comes to cats.
Whatever it is, the whole time my brain keeps interrupting me with the fact that he is my dad! Like, I know, but it just- ugh. I just can’t get over it.
He doesn’t seem to notice me not paying as much attention as usual during lunch though.
I’m not so lucky during training.
There are no cats/cat drama and all of his attention is on me. So of course he notices me not kicking as hard as usual. Of fucking-course he notices me being unfocused.
“Kid, you have to be more present if you’re planning on improving.”
He says while we’re sparring and kicks me onto the mat. “You seem really spaced out today, is something the matter?”
Oh no, It’s nothing, I just found out that you’re my dad and every single fucking time I look at you that thought pops up into my brain and I can’t fucking focus!!!
“Uh, it’s nothing.” Upon hearing that sentence, he stops moving and gives me a ‘uh-huh’ look. Oops.
He sighs heavily. “Kid, you know that if something’s wrong, you can talk to me, right?”
I’m trying twice as hard to focus on the rest of our training session, but I can still feel his evaluating gaze on me the whole time. Yay.
When the training session finally ends, I quickly say goodbye and practically run out of UA gates.
If all of our training sessions from now are going to be like this.. yikes.
Going home takes me a pretty long time, and by the time I’m minutes away from my home the sun has begun to set and it’s getting darker, which is… not ideal, considering where I live.
Just when I’m not-so-subtly speedwalking past one dark shady back alley (there is a lot of them here, it’s basically on every corner), an arm appears out of the dark and pulls me in.
My head quickly turns toward the person and-
Why, of all people does it have to be him?!? Fuck-
Before I even manage to utter a word, he grabs me by the hair and slaps something over my mouth and nose.
What the hell is tha-
He tightens it and it quickly becomes obvious.
No no no no no no take it off take it off take it off!!!
The muzzle cuts into my skin with a sharp sting of pain. I get pushed to the ground and my hands reflexively move to try and take that thing off my face because it hurts!
However, that action only makes the muzzle cut into my face even deeper. My eyes water and my breath hitch, but I only start feeling true horror once I hear his voice.
The fucked up bastard just laughed.
I’m just staring at him with a terrified look and the only thing I can hear in my brain is ‘
I need to get away now run run now!!’.
“How does it feel like to get put in your place, villain?!?”
He sounds like a bloodthirsty animal and just hearing his voice is making my heart pound faster. He starts walking closer to me.
he’s going to hurt me get away get away, remember what he did last time, no don't hurt me please, run, run!
He’s blocking the way out of the alley, so I get on my feet in record time and run. Just run.
I have no idea where the alley leads, and I can hear him yelling somewhere behind me, but I don’t slow down.
The alley is dividing into 3 new ones and I just take the one on the right and quickly hide behind a dumpster.
He went into a different one. I sigh out a breath of momentary relief. But what do I do now??
Most of the alleys are dead ends anyway and I have no chance of getting out of here without passing him!
I still have my phone!
It would take the police a long time and I’m pretty sure for some reason they would get me into trouble too, thanks to my amazing quirk. I have Aizawa sensei’s number though.
The tight piece of metal on my face is making it impossible for me to talk, so I quickly write a message and send my location.
Shinsou: HEPL PLEAS
I type it out as quickly as I can with my wobbly hands, and almost immediately after sending the message I can hear him getting close.
If he comes any closer, he will definitely notice me being behind the dumpster, so I get on my feet and start running further down the alley.
I take a turn and …it’s a dead end. I expected it, but still, fuck. I turn around just in time to see him running toward me.
He looks absolutely furious. “YOU BITCH!!!” Is the last thing I hear before he slams me into the ground.
I was only training with Eraserhead for a few days, and most of that was working on how to fall properly and running. I couldn’t fight a squirrel if I tried, let alone this big piece of shit.
He kicks me to the stomach and when I try to cover that with my hands he moves up higher. I receive a punch to the face and after another curseword thrown my way he punches me again.
Maybe you should’ve just let him r*pe you that last time. Now he wouldn’t be so mad.
His hands grab my throat so hard I start seeing black spots.
This is bad. This is very bad. My hands are desperately trying to pry his away, but to no use.
I can blurrily see him with that terrifying grin on his face.
“Now why don’t we have some fun you little SLUT?!?? It’s about time someone taught you a lesson!!”
No, don’t touch me, let me go!!
…It tells you a lot about my physique how he manages to hold my body down with just one hand on my throat.
His other hand starts travelling somewhe-
NonononoNONONO STOP!!! PLEASE JUST STOP!!
The tears in my eyes had begun to spill a long time ago, though my already quiet sobs are even further quietened by the piece of metal strapped onto my face.
I just want to go home, get so see my mom, talk to her about stupid things, throw some jokes there and there, get to see dad again…
Stop touching me p-please…
Hearing his disgusting moan in my ear snaps me out of my thoughts. On no. Oh fuck.
This is where I am now. I’m not home, not at school, here… And I can feel him in - ew ew EW NO!!! DON’T TOUCH ME-
I can feel another tear spill.
I can’t breathe. The hand pressing down my throat is not allowing almost any air through.
My hands, which were still trying to get his away a few moments ago are now lifelessly lying next to it.
My vision is getting distorted, all I see is a weird swirl of colors. All I feel is the pain on my face from the muzzle and in-
My sobs go unheard.
…please, please just stop it…
Moments away from blacking out I notice a swirl of black and grey in the corner of my vision. Suddenly his weight is pushed up and away from me.
…It feels so great to finally be able to breathe again.
I feel like I’m in some kind of trans.
…What even happened? …Where am I?
My eyes are starting to become less unfocused, and I look over to the noise on my left just in time to see Eraserhead bash his head into a wall.
At the time, I notice that I’m still crying, and while wiping the tears away my hands accidentally touch the muzzle. Wait, why am I wearing a-
At that exact moment, everything that happened finally starts catching up with me. I was just- and then he-
Fresh tears start running down my cheeks. I curl up into a ball, and this time even though still muzzled my sobs feel like the loudest thing in the world.
…Just, just why?
What did I ever do wrong to deserve this…?
Now someone is kneeling in front of me and it looks like they’re saying something. ...Oh, that’s Eraserhead, he’s just blurry because of the tears.
He pulls out something from what I can only assume is his capture scarf and leans toward me.
I flinch, but afterward don’t move as he puts his hands around the back of the muzzle and cuts the leather strap with a knife. Ow. It still stings.
But… I’m safe. I’m safe now, right…?
Before I manage to think, I practically jump into his arms and start sobbing into his chest.
I cling to him like my life depended on it. I’m safe…
His body seems to momentarily freeze, but after a while I can feel his hands rubbing up and down my back while I keep crying my eyes out.
After a while, I start hearing something. What is…-
“..yeah…?” My voice is almost unhearable, but he picks up on it.
“What happened Hitoshi?” He asks me, and when I slightly lift my head up I meet his devastated gaze. Are those tears...?
It’s pretty obvious he already knows all too well what happened.
“…mrrhhh…” Is the only answer he receives, cause I am seriously not in the right place to try and explain right now.
“*sigh* …okay. ...Can, can you try to give me your mom’s phone number?” He tries again after a moment.
“…she… at work… won’t answer till morning…” It was just a whisper, but I feel like I’ve just screamed it from the top of a building. I feel exhausted.
And everything hurts. It hurts so much.
It hurts, but at the same time I feel so… numb. It's a weird feeling...
“…Would you be okay with going to stay the night at my house?” He asks me gently and I slowly nod my head after a while.
My brain feels so weird, like if the whole world was slowed down.
Everything’s blurry and kind of muted. Like I’m on some island somewhere far away.
I hardly register him lifting me up after some time and carrying me over to some other people and some vehicle with flashing lights before I pass out in his arms.
The only other time I wake up is when he’s lifting me up from a different car.
I keep my eyes closed and the only sign of me being awake is the hand that weakly grasped his capture scarf.
He carries me somewhere… oh, it’s a bed. He gently lays me on there and the next thing I notice is him pulling the blanket over me and tucking me in.
(...He used my name?)
And I fall back into the sweet void of unconsciousness, not even slightly aware what's happening.
All I know right now is that I'm safe, and that's enough for me...
I hate having to hurt Hitoshi, but the plot needs it...
This chapter was really tough to make, but I'm glad I did it! Have to say writing this works better than therapy for me :)
Me writing this: ...is it too much angst?
Me 2 seconds later: *slaps the 'Hitoshi calling Aizawa Dad' bandaid on it* PERFECTION.
Chapter 10: A different perspective
We get to see Aizawa's point of view in the 'event' and then him having to explain it to his husband.
I just love writing protective Dadzawa (and pieces of shit getting what they deserve) :)
The entire chapter it written in Aizawa POV!
Content warnings: mentions of rape, mentions of sexual assault, mentions of violence, harmful thoughts, mentions of muzzles
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
~What the fuck.~
The perfect summarization of today’s events in one day.
I just want to climb into my sleeping bag and never come back out.
Shinsou was acting weird all day, which was concerning considering what happened back then. He was extremely unfocused and kept spacing out, all while insisting there was nothing wrong.
Then, right after I finished up and was getting into my car, I get a text message. From Shinsou. And it’s just his location and a plea for help.
‘FUCK.’ I internally swear, grab the steering wheel and speed out of the parking lot.
I drove like a madman, but it was only rational of me (Hizashi often says that I’m the sole reason gays have the ‘bad drivers’ stereotype, screw him).
It’s obvious there’s something bad happening around him, but he keeps denying anything could be wrong. So if he decided to write me a message like this, it must be really, really bad.
When I get close to the pinned location I start searching the back alleys from the rooftops.
Then I see it.
Sadly as an underground hero I can’t say I’ve never seen this happen before. But never to a literal child.
THE child that I was training just an hour ago.
Just an hour ago he was right next to me…
wHAT KIND OF SICK PIG DO YOU EVEN HAVE TO BE TO-
Anger gets the best of me. Sure, I didn’t necessarily need to bash his head into a brick wall (repeatedly) until the bastard passed out, but…. There are worse things I could’ve done (and have thought about doing).
…aand technically he IS a villain and I’m pretty sure he was resisting.
His expression is definitely going to haunt my drams for a while.
Then I turned back to Shinsou, who is currently curled up in a ball with tears running down his cheeks and muffled sobs from the-
I feel like I should’ve just continued until his skull cracked and he died instead of stoping myself when he fell unconscious.
He’s wearing a fucking muzzle.
I remember so many nights of Zashi crying into my arms about what they used to do to him to shut him up.
I can also notice some blood around it, this is really bad. And it’s going to be a bitch to heal-if it even does that.
Could this have been the reason for his weird behavior…? But if that was the case why wouldn’t he tell anyone?
It’s probably related to that last ‘incident’ a few weeks ago, isn’t it…?
FUCK. I fucking knew I shoud’ve done something! Useless!!
In the end it’s your fault he got r*ped, huh?
I slowly kneel in front of him as not to scare him, since he doesn’t appear to be fully present. “Shinsou, I’m going to cut the muzzle and take it off, okay?” I say in a gentle voice. It’s unlike me, but this situation calls for more care and quietness.
He still flinches when I do so, but at least he lets me take it off. And the inside is …just how I thought it would be. Ugh. The cuts don’t look too deep, but there is a lot of blood and it must sting a lot. I just hope it won’t scar… Hizashi still has his and it’s not a pretty reminder…
And then something unexpected happened. Without any kind of warning he suddenly jumps into my arms with a “DAD!!” and clings to me like a scared animal.
I didn’t think he would even trust me enough to try and wipe the blood off.
I thought he would be terrified of someone else touching him right now, but he’s clinging to me like his life depended on it. He looks like he feels …safe around me.
I put my own hands gently on his back, and this time he doesn’t even flinch. Then I start rubbing gentle circles on his back and murmuring reassurances.
He called me ‘dad’. What was that supposed to mean?
…I mean from what he told me so far I know he lives with just his mother and he never once mentioned a father figure.
The rational answer would probably be that he’s hallucinating and saw his dad instead of me. It makes sense, after such a traumatizing experience way weirder things happen. It makes the most sense.
This however does nothing to stop the warmth spreading in my chest.
I would like having him as a son though.
He’s such a nice kid (a kid that doesn’t deserve any of this)…
Who in their right mind would want me as a father anyway?
After some time, when his sobs quieten, I call out to him to try and get some information, but the only thing I manage to get out of him is that his mother is at work and would not answer her phone until she is done, which is in the morning. Just great.
At that moment, I make a split second decision and ask him if he wanted to spend the night at my house. Oh god, Zashi’s going to have a field day with this.
Shinsou agrees by slowly nodding his head, being exhausted and on the verge of falling asleep/unconscious. I’m not even sure which one of the two would apply here.
Luckily the police car and ambulance arrive soon after. Shinsou is already half out, so I lift him up and carry him over to the vehicle. I hope he doesn’t mind.
After getting checked over by the paramedics who patch up the wounds on his face I briefly explain to the police officer what happened, which is missing a lot of major points but Shinsou is in no shape to be interrogated right now. It will have to wait until he’s in the right shape to do so.
Luckily Shinsou doesn’t need to go to the hospital, but considering what happened here he should and is going to attend a therapist (but that's a discussion for another day).
Now I’m just really grateful that me and Zashi have an emergency foster permit as pro heroes, so I didn’t have to deal with any paperwork as of now. All I needed to do was tell Tsukauchi, who promised to take care of it for me. He’s a saint.
When I arrive home, I carry him up to the guest bedroom while avoiding Jelly and Dog, who have now decided they want scratchies. Now. When I’m literally carrying someone.
I enter the guest room, slowly lower him down on the bed and then tuck him in. I mean why not? Then I wish him goodnight. …I used his first name. I’m not even sure why, it just kind of felt right.
Wait what?? If he calls me that once it can always be a mistake, and that’s kind of what I was betting on, but twice? In the same day?
It must be hallucinations, that’s the only logical explanation…right?
Why does this make my heart feel so warm, he’s not even my son…
I wish he was.
An hour later, when I’m sitting on the couch having a slight existential crisis, I hear Zashi unlocking the front door. Huh, I guess his radio show ended early…
He looks at me with a lifted eyebrow. “…Shouta, what are you doing here?”
“Am I not even allowed in my own house anymore.”
“That’s not what I meant and you know it. Around this time you usually patrol. I have physically tried to make you stop patrolling so early after school, but you still do it. I’m just wondering who’s dying, if the world is ending or if you got yet another cat.”
I ignore the last part in order to stay serious. This is going to be a very long conversation…
“No one’s dying Zashi.” I sigh. “It’s about Shin- Hitoshi.”
…Yeah, that feels right. I hope he won’t mind me calling him that.
Hizashi’s eyes widen as he sits down right next to me. “Who do I need to exterminate?”
“I already bashed his head into a wall Zashi. Repeatedly.” Now he looks even more concerned. “Shouta, for real, what happened?”
“A lot, and long story short, he’s sleeping in the guest room now.”
“WHAT, HOW DOES THAT EXPLAI-“
I erase his quirk as soon as I can and look at him with my red eyed glare. “I said he’s SLEEEPING, Zashi.”
“Oh, sorry.” He looks a little embarrassed at that. “But still, what happened. You can’t just say ‘long story short’ and think it’s going to actually explain anything!”
“Okay, fine, but be careful of your volume, I have a feeling you’re going to get very mad…”
“HE WHAT, THAT FU-“
“I understand exactly why you’re upset, I am too, but control the volume please!” I whisper yell after my hair starts floating again and I erase his quirk a second time.
“…I’m going to kill him.”
“Please don’t, you would go to prison and having to visit you there would be annoying.”
“But Shou, he did- he- fuck.” He covers his face with his hands.
“…I just wish I was there.” He says with an unsettling expression after a minute of unsettling quiet. “I could scream so hard at him it would make his organs turn into literal jelly. You know, quirk accidents happen.”
“…I mean, you do sometimes work with interrogating people. You could go and interrogate him.” I offer to try and lift his mood.
“Fantastic.” He smiles, but this smile is not the usual Present Mic smile or the soft husband smile, this particular smile would suit a maniac serial killer.
However, that atmosphere is gone as soon as it appeared, and a gloomier one took over.
He stares into the wall with a distant gaze, and after a while turns to me with a sorrowful expression. The anger seems to have mostly been swapped for sadness. Now instead of thinking what to do with the bastard the kid is on our mind.
God, how is Hitoshi even gonna handle this?? A child should never EVER have to go through a traumatizing experience like this one. Or any, of that matter…
“Child rapists are the worst… poor Shinsou…” Hizashi puts his face in his hands. “He was in my class today… I, Shou…”
If a few silent tears slip during the oncoming silence, neither of us mention it.
After taking a few steadying breaths, Hizashi asks hesitantly: “And …you said he put a muzzle on him?”
“Yeah… he has some pretty nasty cuts on his face, so I just hope they don’t scar.”
The quiet stretches between us, until he breaks it with an exhausted sounding voice. “…Just- the poor kid. He, he doesn’t deserve any of this…” He sighs and leans in on my side.
“I don’t even know him that much and I already want to adopt him.” I sigh. “That I can agree with you on, but he already has a parent.”
“Oh please, we can be honorary parents!” He just smiles, and with that phrase the entire dark energy in the room slightly lifts. I offer a small smile too.
“…you know, I actually forgot to mention one detail.” I say, already bracing for him to freak out about it. “He called me dad. Twice.”
“WAIT WHAT?? OH MY GOD, LOOK AT YOU, YOU PROUD DAD!!!” He sounds as if it takes everything for him not to start yelling at his full volume, but at least this time It’s still appropriate as far as loudness goes.
“I CAN’T BELIEVE THIS, THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE!!!”
“Zashi, can you stop?” I make an annoyed sound, but it doesn’t seem to deter him one bit. “No Shou, I absolutely cannot. The kid just called you dad!! I’m so proud, you are going to be a wonderful parent!”
Then he finally gives me some room to breathe and after a few moments of looking deep in thought asks: “And how did it come to this anyway? Tell me! I wanna know all the details!!”
So then I tell him about the time Hitoshi hugged me and called me dad right after saving him, and also about that time when I tucked him in and he called me dad after murmuring goodnight.
I told him it was very probably just him hallucinating or something, but it’s like I didn’t say anything.
He was ecstatic. …and of course I had to use my quirk again… just great.
After he calms down a little bit (which took quite a while of him making fun of me and calling me ‘Dadzawa’ or whatever that was), I get up from the couch and turn to him.
“Well, I’m exhausted, so I’m heading off to bed.”
“…But what about the investigation and ‘Hitoshi’s’ mother?”
“Tomorrow. The bed awaits me.”
“Sure sure, good night then Dadzawa.” He says and I again pierce him with one of my glares.
Over the years they seem to have lost their effectiveness on him though, and he continues as if nothing happened: “I’m not going to sleep for another 5 hours at least, I don’t think I would fall asleep anyway after what I heard.”
And with that I go to bed and spend the whole time before falling asleep thinking about Hitoshi and what to do next.
Why does everything in this world have to be so goddamn complicated???
I wish I could just rip his dick off and leave it like that.
Well, I can dream...
(and it’s a pretty relaxing image, I'm gonna do that instead of meditation)
Hitoshi: *jumps into Aizawa's arms*
--Eraserhead.exe has stopped working--
Well, I dropped a big pile of shit here last chapter and now I'm gonna have to write the characters trying to clean it up :)
Chapter 11: Yesterday's memories
Hitoshi wakes up in the middle of the night and doesn't react well to 'the event' catching up with him. Papamic + kitties to the rescue!
I was super looking forward to finally writing some good papamic/shinson interactions, just didn't get to do them before cause this fic is so focused around Dadzawa and Hitoshi finding out 'the thing'.
Watch out for warnings :)
Content warnings: homophobic slur (once in the beginning), throwing up, harmful inner thoughts, hyperventilating, mentions of rape/sexual assalut
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
‘You’re such a sexy little slut~’
‘Just like your whore of a mother’
‘You deserved it anyway, what were you thinking walking there, you should’ve just taken a different route’
‘Like mother like son, not like you would ever be good for anything else than this’
I wake up with my voice stuck in my throat, tears running down my face and tangled into the blanket.
Fuck… what the hell was that…? Wait.. where am I?! I frantically look around the room. …oh, right, this is Eraserhead’s place.
*Sigh*.. I’m glad I didn’t scream though, wouldn’t want to wake anyone up…
For several minutes I just lie there trying to change my fast shallow breaths into normal ones while repeating a phrase in my head.
…Wait, what am I actually safe from?
At that time my memory chooses to finally catch up with me.
I was- and then he-
He r*ped you, how fun is that?
I jump out of bed and manage to find the bathroom just in time to empty my stomach into it.
After slowly lifting myself up to the level of the sink, I accidentally notice my expression in the mirror.
I can hardly recognize myself. My face is all patched up after being muzzled, but I can still see some dried blood there and there.
My neck looks far worse than it had looked like the first time I encountered him. It’s a vibrant purple color, basically matching my hair. It hurts...
I have a black eye, bruised face with several cuts and my eyebags look just like bruises. But the worst part is my eyes.
Why do they look so dead…?
I can see my entire face crumple in the mirror, and soon enough the first sob pushes its way out. I start quietly sobbing while falling back on the bathroom floor. I push my scraped knees up to my chest and pretend I don’t notice the small drops of tears I can see staining the floor.
I avoid looking at my uncovered arms, also littered with bruises and cuts from running away.
My attempts at staying quiet don’t seem to have worked though, because soon enough I can hear footsteps behind me. Oh fuck, I didn’t want to wake anyone up.
“Little listener, are you okay?”
…Wait, what is Present Mic even doing here-
What, how?? That’s his husband??
He crouches down to my eye level and looks at me with a sympathetic look. I just stare back, but at least me being momentarily distracted by the fact that Present Mic is Eraserhead’s husband stops the void of thoughts that was slowly pulling me into an even worse breathing pattern than the one I already had.
I try to wipe away tears, but there are even more coming. I don’t want to be crying in front of him, it’s embarrassing…
Of course he notices it. “Little listener, you can cry if you want to.”
He sits down on the ground next to me and gives me a small smile. “Do you want a hug?” He asks after a moment of silence. “Only if you want to of course.”
…yeah, a hug seems nice…
I quickly nod before my brain can overthink it and soon enough I can feel his arms gently wrap around me. He’s giving me plenty of space to pull away if I wanted to too.
He seems to be aware of my ragged breathing, and starts exaggerating his breaths for me to be able to match his.
I hardly hear his quiet words of encouragement over my own thoughts
he’s choking you again, make it stop, he’s behind you, he’s hurt you, run away, run and don’t turn around.
But his kind words are still there, and after a few minutes my breathing starts evening out.
However that just gave my body an opportunity to fully engage in crying.
…so that’s how I end up bawling my eyes out into his chest while he sits there and keeps me company. He can be surprisingly quiet, if he wants to be. It’s kind of nice.
After a while of me just sobbing on the floor, he starts talking about his day and what kinds of students he’s teaching in other classes. Then he dramatically described what the cats have been up to this day (I was right about Aizawa getting it from him).
I wouldn’t believe it, but it actually kind of helped. In the end I was so captured in his story I completely forgot about the whole ‘crying my eyes out thing’. I just wiped the last of tears from my face and slowly pulled away from his hug.
He just smiled again. “Feeling a little better now?” I nod, and it is true, I am feeling a little better. Not really ‘good’, but better than before at least.
“…sorry about waking you up…” I murmur quietly, still pretty ashamed for that.
“Oh none of that kiddo, I was awake already - and even if I wasn’t I wouldn’t mind!” He waves his hand like it was no big deal. “Do you wanna go back to sleep or do you just wanna hang out with me in the living room?”
“Uh, I… I don’t think I could fall back asleep now…” I just say, he nods his head and stretches out his hand, probably to ruffle my hair. I know he wouldn’t hurt me, but I still noticeably flinch when the hand gets close to me.
He immediately retracts the hand. “Oh, sorry kiddo.”
“…it’s fine, I’m sorry…” Why is my body even doing this?! It’s not like he would hurt me, so why is everything in my brain so messed up?
“Don’t apologize, it’s not your fault.” He gets up and waits for me to do the same before we both leave the bathroom and go into the living room.
“Feel free to sit anywhere you want.” He gestures towards the couches. “You want coffee or-”
“…I didn’t even finish my sentence.”
He just lets out a short laugh and goes into the kitchen, murmuring something about ‘father like son’. I wonder what that was about... Just when I’m planning on where it would be the best for me to sit, something fluffy rubs against my leg. Is that…
Oh my god! Kitty!!
All my worries are suddenly forgotten. Cats for life.
By the time Yamada sensei comes back with a steaming cup of coffee and a cup of tea in the other hand, I’m already lying on the couch with 2 fluff balls purring on my chest. Heaven.
When I finally manage to lift myself up enough to take a sip of the coffee, it leaves me a little surprised: “…How did you know I like my coffee black?”
“Your dad likes his black too.”
I choke on my coffee.
As my body is desperately trying not to choke to death, my brain is going 100 miles per hour trying to figure out how the hell he knows. …Did I slip up?
He doesn’t even waste a second and is already next to me trying to help me not die. “There there little listener… Sorry about startling you.” He says with an awkward smile after I stop coughing.
I'd say 'startling' is very far from the heart attack I'm about to have.
But I’m still giving this situation the benefit of the doubt here. “…uh, why, why would you call Aizawa sensei my …dad?” The question sounds very awkward, but honestly this entire situation is very awkward, so fuck it.
“Oh, it’s nothing, just the two of you are so similar… you both love cats, sleep and coffee. And also you already called him ‘dad’ two times, so I thought you were aware…”
I did what????
Suddenly the image pops into my head. Eraserhead saved me, and I was so out of it and in the same moment so happy he was there I hugged him and called him dad. And I fucking repeated that mistake when he brought me to bed. FUCK.
I cover my face with my hands, but it does nothing to cover up the huge red blush already appearing there.
Yamada lets out a short laugh, and the “Don’t laugh at me” line just makes him laugh even more. Ugh.
But still… I called him dad. Twice.
…well that’s another reason for jumping off a bridge the moment I get a chance to.
I just sink further into the couch and hope to disintegrate.
The awkward silence stretches on, and I only now seem to realize one important thing.
“…I’m intruding, aren’t I?” I ask quietly from the couch with my gaze fixed on the ground.
Without even waiting for an answer, I continue: “I mean, you were probably just planning to have a nice evening with your husband, enjoy some free time, and then I come and ruin everything! Like you just had to sit there and listen to my stupid crying when you could’ve easily just been sleeping! A-and now you have to deal with having me here, in your home, in your space. I… I just.. I wish that I was stronger, and didn’t let it happen to me. It’s my fault he did it anyway-“
He breaks away my chain of self-deprecating sentences. “…wh-what?”
“I said no.” I look up to meet his eyes staring right into mine.
“It’s not your fault and never will be. God damn it you’re just a child! You- you shouldn’t have to deal with this at all!!” He looks upset.
“…s-sorry, I.. I didn’t mean to upset you…” Great, now I’m digging an even deeper grave with all of this, aren’t I?
He sighs. “No little listener, that’s not what I…” He lets go of the papers he was working on and goes to sit across from me. Now he just looks tired.
That’s your fault anyways.
“I’m sorry if I was too loud, I have trouble controlling my volume when I get emotional…” Okay, that would kind of make sense…
“But still, little listener, don’t ever let anyone guilt trip you into thinking any part of that was your fault. It was not, period. It was not your fault.”
He repeats the last sentence and makes sure to say it slowly, like if he was trying to vocalize how much weight those words have.
‘It is not your fault.’
I had no idea a single sentence could impact me that much.
Those words keep playing in my brain on repeat long after that conversation and I ignore the tears burning in the corners of my eyes in order to pay attention to Mic. After a while f talking he suggested putting on a movie since I was NOT ready to go to sleep and be tormented by nightmare again, so I ended up watching some pre-quirk movies in a sitting/lying position with a cat on my chest and a second one in my lap.
The movie’s nice, bu I still feel kind of…dirty. Actually I think I've felt that way ever since ...that, but it was just pushed back because of the other shit that went down.
“Uhm…” I say nervously. “Can, can I take a shower later?”
“Eh… that might not be the best idea right now little listener…” He comes closer to me with a torn look. “The only reason we took you home for the night instead into a police station was because you basically blacked out on us, and there is gonna be some evidence needed… I'm sorry little listener...”
Oh…it makes sense,… I just, only the idea of that makes me want to curl up into a ball and start crying again…
I slowly nod, and he tries to make me feel better by saying: “But after we’re done with all that stuff you can definitely shower! Don’t worry, it will be fine!”
His sudden enthusiasm doesn’t do much to calm me down, but the sentence ‘everything will be fine’ stays with me even after he goes to sleep an hour later.
I kept watching even after he left to go to sleep, and dozed off about 1 and a half movies later. Weirdly enough, I didn’t have a nightmare this time…
Must be the power of the cats…
I open my eyes, but immediately close them back shut.
Ugh, there’s too much light in here! Wait, where is even ‘here’?
After a moment I open my eyes again, this time slower to give them time to adjust to the lightning of the room. …why am I on a couch tho-
Oh. Right. I had an impromptu movie marathon here yester- today. That would explain the tiredness and why my body feels like it weighs a thousand pounds. But it still doesn’t explain the pain on my neck, chest and-
Whyyy can’t I just go a fucking minute without being reminded of- of that.
…is that how the rest of my life is going to be? Constantly dodging topics, places and situations that remind me of, of that?
…that sounds sad...
“Hitoshi, breakfast is ready.” Mr. Aizawa’s voice breaks me out of my thoughts.
“O-oh, uhh..” I lift myself up to face him with a questioning look. “Are you going to eat?” He asks in his deadpan voice while leaning on the doorframe leading into the kitchen area.
Please, you’ve been enough of a leach already, the least you can do not annoy them any longer and get out.
Who gives a fuck if you emptied your stomach earlier this morning, that’s your problem for being such a drama queen.
Oh you’re hungry? Deal with it.
“Uh, no, no thank you, I-, I’m not hungry at all so-“
But my stomach chooses that exact fucking moment to make it known to the whole household that it is in fact hungry by making a very loud growl. Fuck.
Eraserhead gives me a look and sighs. “You know that you can ask for food kid, right?”
“…I know, I just- I didn’t want to bother you. You’ve done so much for me already and-“
“And I’d do it all over again.” He interrupts me.
“Kid, you are not a bother, and you are not a burden. Honestly I wouldn’t even be bothered if you decided to just move in here. So don’t worry about it and come eat with us.” He gestures towards the dining table.
I can feel tears welling up in my eyes again. Seriously, what is this?! I never thought I was such a crybaby, but in the past few weeks I’ve cried way more than even in the past year!
Breakfast was fucking delicious, but I mean all of Present Mic’s cooking is. But when I look at both of their faces as we’re finishing the food, I notice their uneasy expressions. …Did I do something wrong?
“Kid, I know this is not going to be easy,” Mr. Aizawa starts. Well shit… “But we’re gonna have to call your mom about last night. You were very out of it and told me she wouldn’t answer anyway, so we waited until now. Can you give us her phone number please?”
My stomach drops. Oh no… I just, ...I wish I never had to tell her about…this.
She’s going to be heartbroken… and is very likely going to blame herself for this. She doesn’t deserve that, it’s not like it’s her fault anyway…
Still, she’s going to be so sad…
I nod my head slightly, but after that I remember another important thing I wanted to talk to him about. “Just, can, can I talk to you for a minute before that? Alone? I-is that okay…?”
He and Mr. Yamada exchange glances. He turns to me and nods his head: “Sure, if you want to.”
Mr. Yamada adds: “I’ll just stay here and do the dishes so you can go talk.”
Me and Mr. Aizawa go to the guest room on the other side of the house while Mic stays in the kitchen. After shutting the door, he gives me a soft look and after noticing my hesitancy states: “Kid, you don’t have to tell me anything you don’t want to, don’t feel pressured.”
“Y-yeah, thank you… I, I wanted to apologize.”
“You do not have to apologize for in any way inconveniencing me. I am a pro hero and most importantly a decent human being, what I did was rational. I wish I could’ve done more.” He stops me.
…I guess Mr. Yamada must’ve told him about earlier today…
“…I wanted to apologize for something else…” I murmur. Gosh, this is going to be embarrassing, I already know it…
“I’m sorry for accidentally you 'dad', Aizawa sensei. I-it won’t happen again…”
I’m not really sure how much of an ‘accident’ that was considering he IS MY DAD, but I was trying to keep it to myself instead of yelling it at him the first moment I get a chance to.
From the way his whole body froze up, I guess he didn’t expect that.
Oh well. At least I’m not the only one feeling weird.
While I’m busy staring a hole into the carpet the room is uncomfortably silent. Shit, maybe I should’ve just stayed quiet and never ever mentioned it again…
He finally breaks the silence with a muttered “problem child” and a sigh. Then he looks at me with an unreadable expression in his face. “Kid, you don’t need to apologize about something like that. It was a traumatic experience, you were probably hallucinating…”
Ehhh... I guess it was a combination of hallucinating and him BEING MY DAD, but what can you do.
Then, to try and lift the mood he adds: “However, if you call me that in front of my class I will give you so much physics homework it will make Calculus look like a children’s puzzle.”
He gives me that toothy grin of his and I can’t help but put on a small smile on my own.
Please, he’s just nice cause it’s his job
You’re being annoying
You’re probably just another of his ‘charity cases’
Gee, thanks. I'm so damn lucky my thoughts always know how to lift my spirits.
I've been debating whether I should incorporate quirks in the gathering of evidence (photos of injuries, swabs...), but in the end I'm probably just going to do it the ol' fashioned way... (I had to search everything up again cause when it was happening to me I dissociated almost the whole time, so that was fun :D )
Thank you for reading!!
Chapter 12: Chizu Shinsou
Hitoshi's mom finally gets informed about the situation and Aizawa recognizes her from his teenage years.
I think ya'll underestimated how OBLIVIOUS Dadzawa is in this fanfic. This man is a fantastic underground hero with good reflexes and quick thinking, but off duty is one of the most oblivious little beans there are :)
Content warnings: self-destructive thoughts, mild mentions of sexual assault + evidence gathering
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Well, now it comes to the hard part. I gave them the number, and in this moment they’re quietly discussing what to tell her. I’m not looking forward to this one bit…
“Kid…” Eraserhead turns to me and snaps me out of my thoughts. “I know this is going to be hard, but sometime today we’ll need to go to the police station with you to get more evidence.”
I tilt my head a little. “What do you mean by evidence?”
“Photos, and stuff..” Yamada tries to explain, but it didn’t seem to occur to him that ‘stuff’ really doesn’t do much to explain. The photos make sense. I stop myself from shuddering at remembering what I saw in the mirror back then.
“Ehh, you know, swabs and things like that..” (he really isn’t good at explaining)
I don’t like that idea.
I really, really do not like it… but I also really don’t like the idea of him getting to walk free.
I slowly nod. “I understand… it makes sense…”
I don’t need to look up to notice Aizawa’s understanding look. “Kid…”
I look up to face him. “It will be okay. We promise.” His voice is determined and steady, which is something I really needed right now.
“…do, do you want a hug?” He asks me hesitantly. I just nod and soon feel two warm arms gently envelop me in a hug. It’s not suffocating and he’s giving me enough space to back out if I wanted to. It’s… nice.
After having a short moment of calmness, he speaks up again: “There’s also the thing about giving a statement. It’s not required, but in your particular case it would be very helpful.”
“B-but, isn’t the pictures and the s-swabs enough…?”
Why is there so much evidence needed..?
“I wish it was, and in many cases it is.” He sits down next to me with a downcast expression. “*Sigh* The thing is, he will very probably try to get out of it by denying everything and saying you and your mother were trying to frame him, or something like that. And considering you and your mom aren’t exactly in the best financial or social situation, they would simply dig up everything they can about you.”
I remember so many times I've gotten in trouble at school because someone said I brainwashed them into cheating on their test or losing their work.
My mom wasn’t left out if it either, her quirk also being mental and us being called the ‘villain family’ through my time in school.
Though 'villain family' or 'the family of villains' was one of the nicer ways they used to describe us...
“And you know how people with ‘villainous’ quirks like us get treated about the smallest things, right? He might go as far as to say you brainwashed him into doing that to you, and many quirkist assholes at the police station would believe it.”
He says with a disgusted expression. It suits very well with what I’m feeling right now.
How could someone even think I wanted it?? Or more, that I initiated it?? The thought alone makes me nauseous.
“Don’t worry Shinsou,” Mic, who previously kept quiet, comes into my view.
“Detective Tsukauchi has the quirk Lie Detector, so all you would have to do is tell him about what happened in your perspective. He is highly respected, and his word will surely count against all and any of these accusations.” He gives me a hopefully reassuring smile.
Okay, that… that could work, I think?
“Also, if you don’t think you can do it yet, we can schedule it for later. Don’t push yourself kiddo.”
Honestly all of this stuff sounds scary.
I just want to climb under a hundred blankets, surround myself with cats and never ever think about that thing ever again.
Hah, you can’t even say the word r*pe and are thunking you’re gonna nail the interview and swabs? Pathetic.
I just… I don’t want to say that word.
Saying it makes it real. I don’t want that to be real…
I didn’t want it.
I didn’t ask for it.
Well, if you refuse to help with the investigation, he might as well get to walk free
and fuck you again.
... That’s it, I’ve decided.
I’m going there now, I’m telling them every single fucking detail about what happened and I’m getting that human piece of garbage behind bars.
I will not let him do that to anyone ever again.
I let out a heavy breath. “I want to go to the interrogation, I can do it now.”
The confidence is notable from my tone of voice.
They seem a little shocked at my sudden determination, and Yamada carefully asks: “Are, are you sure little listener? You don’t have to force yourself, the investigation can wait a while-“
“I want to get that piece of shit in prison.”
Eraserhead spits out out his coffee. Not minding him at all, I continue: “Can we go now? Like after the phone call? I wanna have it done as soon as possible…”
“Uhh… I guess we can? They should have time, mornings are usually pretty quiet there-“
What timing, two phones started ringing at the same time. Mine and Eraserhead’s. After wiping the remnants of the coffee off of the table, he looks at his phone screen and sighs. “It’s Tsukauchi, this is probably gonna be important…”
“Go answer him, it might be related to this case. I’ll deal with his mom.” Mr. Yamada supplies, and after Aizawa quickly excuses himself, he looks over to me and my fossil of a phone. “Who's calling you, little listener?"
“It’s my mom… I’m going to answer, okay…?” He nods, and I click the answer button.
“Toshi! Toshi are you there?”
“Hi mom, we were just about to call you…”
“Who is we? Toshi, why didn’t you eat the food I left you here yesterday? You must’ve been hungry…”
“I’m at Mr. Aizawa’s place… I actually haven’t been home at all yesterday, something happened…”
“Are you hurt?! What happened Hitoshi??”
“Can, can I hand the phone to Yamada-sensei? He’s here with me and I- I just don’t think I can manage to explain everything to you right now…”
At hearing the weird tone of my voice, she quickly agrees.
Mr. Yamada takes the phone from me carefully and before turning his attention to my mom, he smiles and whispers my way: “Just Yamada is fine kiddo, don’t worry about honorifics.” “Oh, uh okay Y-Yamada...”
“Hello, my name is Yamada Hizashi, pro hero Present Mic. Shinsou is currently at mine and Aizawa’s house.”
“Hello, this is Shinsou Chizu, Hitoshi’s mother, please, please tell me what happened.”
He told her the situation in a very shortened and omitted way as not to upset her too much, but she started freaking out anyway as soon as she realized I got hurt. …And Yamada didn’t even tell her the extent of what he did to me... all she knows is that someone assaulted me.
What is she even gonna think about this?
If you were stronger you could’ve easily fought him off.
She’s gonna think you’re weak.
Shut the fuck up.
*Sigh*… I just, I feel so bad, like, It’s my fault she is and is going to feel like this anyway…
“I’m sorry, but that’s all I know. We were planning to go to the police station for getting evidence shortly after this phone call, would it be possible for you to join us there?”
“…are you sure it’s wise to go there right now? Is Hitoshi feeling okay?”
“We were surprised too ma’am, but he seems keen on going there now, if it's possible for you…?”
“Y-yes, I definitely want to be there, I just… I don’t know how to get myself to the other side of the town on such short notice… you see, I don’t have a car and…”
“Oh, don’t worry about that. Me or Aizawa will come pick you up, can you just tell me the address please?”
“Of course, it’s ---- -- -----“
“Mhm, okay, and is it possible for you to bring Hitoshi a change of clothing?”
“Oh, okay, yeah I can do that…”
The phone call ends quickly after that, and soon enough Aizawa walks out having ended his own phone call.
“Apparently that guy is awake now.” He starts. “They had to perform surgery on his head, it has several fractures.”
He sounds very proud as he hears me try to suppress a laugh.
“I love you.” Is Yamada’s only response.
After quickly getting ready, Aizawa left to go and pick up my mom while me and Yamada wait for him at the police station. At this point I shouldn’t even be surprised by the fact that the main Musutafu police station is less than 10 minutes away from this house.
Wait. Aizawa, my dad, is going to go pick up my mom.
He is going to recognize her. There’s no way he wouldn’t.
This is not going to end well…. (and unless he’s oblivious as hell he is definitely gonna notice)
‘…Did she even give us the right address?’ is the main phrase circling in my head for the past few minutes.
I’d love to say that I don’t believe people would actually live in here, but my years of experience as an underground hero have taught me otherwise.
This neighborhood looks… shitty, to say the least. There’s no way of sugarcoating it, and it’s infuriating on my part that I had no idea this part of Musutafu even existed.
…Maybe I could shift my patrol route in this direction, it doesn’t look like many heroes patrol here…
Or any at all for that case…
As I get on the street the Shinsou house is supposed to be on I notice a woman standing on the side of the sidewalk. I roll down my window to make sure, but as I get closer to the purple haired woman…
There’s no way…
“Hey there Shouta.” She offers a strained smile and gives me a little wave.
…this doesn’t make any sense.
As she slowly gets in the car I can’t help but notice how frail she looks. …Does she even eat?
I probably stayed quiet for way longer than I should’ve, because she smirks and asks: “What, are you that surprised?”
“I’m surprised I didn’t realize it earlier.” I huff out a short response and start the car.
After a minute of awkward silence she lets out a tired sounding exhale. “It’s been a long time, hasn’t it?”
“…Yea, it has.” The awkwardness is so thick you could cut it with a knife.
“…so, the man I was speaking on the phone with, was that your boyfriend Hizashi?”
“Husband actually. I married him over 6 years ago.”
“Aww, that’s amazing! Did you ever fulfill your dream of having more than two cats?”
Of course she still remembers that. I can’t help a small smile as I answer: “Right now me and Zashi have three, but I’m trying to convince him to get another one on our anniversary.”
She nods her head. “Toshi loves cats too. I wish I could get him one, but we wouldn’t have enough time for it…”
Most of the car ride is (unsurprisingly) spent in silence. But like how am I even supposed to communicate with a woman I haven’t seen in over 15 years that I used to date? And when I add the fact that I realized I’m not into women thanks to that night with her… that’s awkward as hell.
As I make a turn to the right, I decide to finally break the silence that has settled around us like fog.
“The purple gene and the surname should’ve made it pretty obvious, but I didn’t think Hitoshi would be your son…?”
Like I’ve been doing some basic math in my brain and it doesn’t make much sense… Not like it’s any of my business anyway.
She quickly laughs it off and changes the topic, but that doesn’t really help the conspiracy theories going on in my brain.
Oh shut it, you should care more about driving safely than sticking your nose where it doesn’t belong.
I leave the topic alone for now, not wanting to invade her privacy.
As we get closer to the police station, she asks: “…What in the world even happened though?”
She shifts nervously in her seat. “I heard Toshi was attacked and isn’t doing very well, and that the attacker is at the police station, and also that Toshi wants for all of this to be over as soon as possible… but that’s basically all… I heard you saved him?”
Zashi I hate you… You were trying to spare her feelings and didn’t tell her ONE, one important thing…
Why does it have to be me of all people to break it to her?? (my social skills are close to zero and I have made many children cry in my life, I am not the best person to deal with fragile matters like these)
“Well…” I open my mouth, unsure where to start. “You’re probably going to hear all of this and more as we get to the station and start the procedures, but…”
Jeez, this is a part of heroics that never gets easier…
It’s so much simpler saving people from falling buildings or attacks than having to break bad news to a family…
“While it is true that I saved Hitoshi from that man, I… I wasn’t fast enough and, and he-“
“Shouta.” She interrupts me. “No matter what happened, do not blame yourself. You saved him from whatever happened.”
If I didn’t have to concentrate on the road, I would be able see in her eyes how sincere she was.
“Hitoshi, he… That, that man was a …a rapist.”
The moment of silence has me holding my breath.
People never react well to news like this. Especially mothers.
I hate this aspect of my job.
She whispers it so quietly that I hardly register those words.
“I’m sorry…” Is the only words I can offer.
The police station main building appears in front of us. As I park the car in front of the police station I can finally turn my head around to see how she’s doing.
The back of the car has been deadly silent ever since I told her…
There are tear tracks down both of her red cheeks and her fists are clenched so hard around her bag’s handle that I’m surprised she didn’t rip it off yet, but that’s not even the first thing I would notice.
The expression. Her gaze is that of pure rage and she somehow manages to look utterly devastated and extremely furious at the same time.
I’m too shocked by the sudden anger in her voice to even answer. Only after hearing her ask a second time can I open my mouth to stutter out an answer.
“I-I’m not sure what his name is… but he is here and has sobered out. I think we’ll find out soon.”
I might be an experienced hero, but nothing is scarier than a seething protective mother.
She opens the door of the car and gets out, me following behind her. The last thing I want to do now is get in her way. That would be both life threatening and stupid.
...I wish she could just walk in that pieces of shit cell.
Oh how I would enjoy watching her rip him to pieces.
If she wouldn’t, then I would.
Angry mama bear incoming!! (I wish I could just add a scene of her beating the absolute shit out of Hitoshi's rapist :D )
What do you think is gonna happen next? :)
Chapter 13: Not your fault
Mamabear arrives at the police station and after lots of hugs the dreaded evidence-gathering begins.
We're back at Hitoshi POV on this one :)
This chapter turned up a little longer than I expected, but I'm certainly not complaining...
Content warnings: intrusive thoughts, mentions of rape/sexual assault, mentions of evidence gathering related to sexual assault
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Waiting for Aizawa to arrive with my mom have been the longest 40 minutes in my life, but I don’t want to start any of this without the both of them being here.
Yamada has been trying to start a conversation with me for the first ten minutes or so, but after me not even answering and spacing out on him he eventually gave up.
Tick-tock, tick-tock, tick-tock... I watch the clock on the wall. Why does it feel like the ticking is so unnaturally loud? It makes my head hurt, I still feel tired, my body still hurts from- no.
Not thinking about that. It’s enough that I’m gonna have to deal with photos, swabs and basically an interrogation that have to do with that thing, I don’t need to think about it in my free time too.
I hope it goes by quickly…
I’m really worried about having to retell the whole thing… I know that it’s ‘just talking’, but…
I take a deep breath to steady myself. I’m just gonna tell them what happened
they won’t believe you , let them arrest him for good but what if they don’t
You will NEVER forget it anyway.
I know that, but…
I wish. I wish I could reverse time, or just forget it all overnight.
I wish I could forget everything, his touches, the smell, the feeling, the pain, the sounds, his words…
As I’m growing more and more nervous with every passing second, I start slowly sinking into the sofa. Maybe it’s just my exhaustion, but it feels so soft and warm… It shouldn’t matter if I take a little nap in here…
I jolted awake at the abrupt sound of the door of the station slamming open and immediately looked in the way of the sudden noise.
…on no. She looks mad. She looks very mad. …She’s probably angry at me, right…? I mean of course she is, this must be so annoying for her to have to come all the way here without even knowing what happened and-
Wait, what if she already knows?? She probably already questioned Aizawa on what the fuck happened and, and now she knows. ...Is she sad?
Dumbass. She’s furious at you.
Probably wishing she never had you.
She’s quickly getting closer, and her tear stained cheeks are now visible. But the expression... I don’t think I’ve ever seen such an expression on her face. …Pure rage.
And it’s directed at you.
It was your fault anyway…
She stops right in front of me, now instead looking utterly devastated and about ready to break down right there and then. “…T-toshi…”
A quiet whimper tears its way out of my throat. “M-mom…”
“I-“ She wants to say something, but I quickly interrupt her.
I keep my head down, not brave enough to meet her gaze.
“…w-what are you talking about? Toshi, this-“
I sink even further into the couch. “I’m so sorry mom. I-I’m sorry I got into trouble and, and made you mad. I-“
I look over to her with tears in my eyes. She’s stunned, like she’s been struck by lightning, the anger nowhere to be found anymore. A tear accompanied by a sob slips down her cheek. “Hitoshi, n-no.” She whispers.
“Y-you should never e-ever feel bad about it, it wasn’t y-your fault…I, I…” She takes a few quick steps and wraps me in a tight protective hug.
“Hitoshi, I l-love you. I love you so, s-so incredibly much. A-and listen to me when I say it was not your fault. I would know.” The tightens the hug, I, however, feel way to numb to hug her back now.
…Is she not mad at me…? Why?
She lets out a quiet sob and asks: “Why would you think I’d be mad at y-you?” Her lavender eyes lock onto mine, and I can’t help the spilling tears.
My head goes to rest at the crook of her neck and my arms slowly wrap back around her. “I… You… you looked mad… I just, I… you have so many reason to be mad at me right now, I…”
She ruffles my hair. “Toshi, I was never ever, not even for a moment mad at you. Y-you just went through a traumatic experience... Yes, I am angry, but at the person who did this to you. Not at you.”
Oh…I see… So in the end it was just my internal thoughts…
Well, wouldn’t be the first time this happened to me.
I just sniffle into her sweater, still not looking up at her. My hands have long since tightened around her and now I’m basically curled around her like a cat. She feels safe…
I don’t know how long exactly we stayed in that position, but after a while I can hear someone clearing their throat behind us.
“Sorry about interrupting…” Oh, so it’s Aizawa. “But, if you changed your mind about it we can change it, so you don’t have to rush yourselve-“
“No.” I’m surprised at how steady my voice sounds after yet another crying session. All eyes turn to me. “I, I really want to deal with it now, please…”
“Toshi, a-are you sure…?” My mom still looks uneasy. “Y-you don’t have to force yourself, we have time…”
“I know mom. I know, and it, it’s gonna be hard, but… I want to have it done.” After a moment of hesitation, I add: “And I really want to get him in prison.”
“About that,” Yamada brings up, “I already went to talk to the officers, and since he's sober now we know his name’s Akimara Fujiwara.”
Of all people, I did not expect her to yell so loudly. “THAT PIECE OF SHI-“ …And I also wasn’t expecting her to swear. (I guess everyday you learn something new)
She abruptly stands up and comes face to face with Aizawa. “Do you know him?” He asks. “Yes, and soon enough it will be ‘have known him’.” She smiles frighteningly. The expression makes her look like a runaway psychopathic mass murderer.
“As much as I’d love to see you tear him into tiny pieces,” wait what- “I cannot legally allow you to do that. However-“ He says as my mom tries to argue,
“If it makes you feel better, I bashed his head into the wall repeatedly until he fell unconscious and he now has several concussions.” That sentence alone makes her stop in whatever she’s doing to level him with a disbelieving look.
He continues as if he just didn’t drop a mental bomb on her: “…and think about it. How do you think someone like him is going to be treated in a prison?”
...I haven’t even thought of that.
Oh how I’d love to watch.
Those words seem to calm her down enough to take a deep breath and sit back down.
The anger dissipating however opens the flood gates, and as she covers her mouth with her hand almost silent sobs start escaping her one after other, accompanied by big fat tears rolling down her eyes.
I move on the couch to sit right next to her again and give her a hug, which she immediately reciprocates.
“…s-so sorry, I-I’m so s-sorry…”
“Don’t be sorry…”
“B-but I brought him into o-our lives, it’s my fault-“
“It’s not.” I tighten my grip around her. “It’s not your fault.”
It's ironic, just a moment ago it was her telling me that it's not my fault, and now here I am repeating the same phrase to her...
After a while her sobs start to subside, and within the next minute or so Yamada appears in the door and says: “We can go in now!”
“Um, w-what exactly are we going to do?” She asks, not yet aware of the specifics of the ‘procedures’ I’m gonna have to deal with today.
Aizawa takes the lead in explaining everything, and her saddened gaze hovers above me once more. This is not gonna be nice…
We’re going to do the photos and swabs first. Yamada takes the lead to get us there through the building while trying lighthearted small talk. It doesn’t really lift out moods, but at least it minutely distracts us from the issue at hand.
From what I understand from their conversation, not every police station has places like these, but since this police station is so big there is one?? I don’t really understand it, but eh. Who cares...
All that’s important for me right now is to get the fuck out of here, and that as soon as possible.
While I was stuck in my own thoughts, the adults have already introduced themselves to the doctors in here, so now all of them turned to me all at once. Great, my anxiety is thriving.
The doctor and the several nurses next to him seem nice enough though, but I still don’t quite like the fact that he’s a man. I know I shouldn’t really care and he would not hurt me, but it just… It just kind of is there...
“Nice to meet you Shinsou-kun, my name is doctor Kinoshita.” He has a peaceful aura around him, not that it really helps calm my nerves. “Nice to meet you….”
They slowly explain the procedures to me, and if it wasn’t for the bright lights and white everything in the room it would even feel nice. Mom has her hand on my back, and it works well for my mind to stay grounded and not drift off to somewhere else.
“-and would you like to take anyone to go there with you?”
I hesitate for a while, afterward choosing to slowly shake my head. “...n-no, thank you…”
I don’t want anyone to have to see that, especially anyone who I’m close to…
It might not be a good reason, but that doesn’t matter to me right now.
“Alright…” The doctor turns to me with one last question: “Would you prefer for only female staff to be present in the room?”
That can be done??
That… that would be really nice…. (well, as ‘nice’ as this situation can get…)
I not my head, this time the motion a little more enthusiastic. “T-that, yea…”
“Okay.” One of the nurses takes a few steps toward me. “My name’s Tachiko Watabe, you can call me Tachiko.” She offers a kind smile and motions toward the door to the other room.
“Follow me, okay?” And after noticing my sudden tenseness, adds with another smile: “Don’t worry Shinsou-kun, it will be okay. You can take as much time as you need.”
I follow after her through he door and into the slightly bigger room.
Taking pictures wasn’t as bad as I thought it would be, it’s not like I had to take pictures of them (and most of the time I just averted my gaze to avoid looking at it if it wasn’t on my face), but for some reason the pitying looks from the staff made the experience even worse for me.
Like I get it that they don’t exactly like this, but it’s not like I wanna be here either!
As soon it came to the ‘swabs’ part, it felt like my mind was filled with some weird fog. I hardly even registered what was happening, like I was on some cloud in the sky, far, far away from all of my emotions and feelings.
I have no idea what it is, but thanks to not being actually ‘present’ during the procedure I didn’t even cry or anything.
It’s kinda nice not having to remember any of that…
I only vaguely remember being handed some clothes later (they probably got those from my mom) and putting them on. The ‘fog’ slowly cleared up after that.
When I slowly came back into the room I received another hug from my mom. “A-are you okay Toshi..?”
“I don’t know… I don’t really remember it…” I truthfully admit, still not sure as to what exactly it was (though at that time not having to be present in the moment was a blessing to me).
“It seems like Shinsou-kun has dissociated through most of the procedures…” One of the nurses say.
Dissociation…? I guess that could be it…
My mom however looks even more worried. The doctor turns to her and says: “It often happens after such a traumatic experience, so it's important we pay enough attention to mental health as we go. As we get to this point, Shinsou-kun should most definitely attend therapy.”
Ugh… I remember when in my old school we had a few mandatory therapy sessions… I was basically treated like a villain on probation.
I really hope this would be different, but at this point there’s not much optimism left in me…
The doctor continues: “We can’t technically force Shinsou-kun to go to therapy, however we heavily recommend it. It would be a great step towards inner recovery.”
Aizawa nods, and as he turns to me and mom says: “I could get you sessions with Hound Dog at UA if you want to.”
“R-really? I, thank you, that, that would be amazing.” My mom puts on a weak smile.
I still don’t particularly like the idea of therapy, but I at least trust Aizawa not to give me a quirkist therapist. I guess this could work out…
After a few final steps we finally get to step out of the room. Relief floods my body as soon as it leaves it, that is as I realize that the interrogation might not be as easy as I have previously thought.
After all, I could’ve and have dissociated though most of the evidence-gathering part, but it’s not like I can just space out when I’m supposed to be talking! Fuck!
And I’m gonna have to retell the whole story. And retelling means basically having to go through it a second time in my head. Ugh, why does quirkism even have to exist…
Yamada soon leaves to go look if Tsukauchi has time, since we came here on such short notice.
An awkward moment of silence is finally broken by Aizawa: “So, Chizu…” She turns her head to him to let him know she’s listening. “I don’t mean to pry, but how do you even know that guy?”
Her hand automatically goes to scratch at the back of her neck (a nervous habit that I somehow inherited) and after a while she answers. “Well…. He… we…used to date. For a while…”
Yikes, this is one of the stories I do know, and it is not very pretty…
“In the beginning he seemed pretty nice, and as long as I did what he wanted he gave us money and protection, which in our neighborhood was extremely valuable… But…soon he started being from pushy to possessive and …abusive, wanting more and more things from me until I said no and broke up with him.”
Aizawa’s voice sounds alarmingly scary when he asks: “What did he do after that…?”
“Got mad and beat me up.” She sighs. “I thought that at the very least it would be the end of it, but…” Her hands clench around the bag she’s holding. “A while ago he broke into our house and …attacked Hitoshi.”
I hear a sharp inhale of breath next to me. I don’t even need to look up from the floor to know it was Aizawa. He connected the dots, huh?
“It’s my fault.” W-what? Why would he say that?!
Mom seems to be as surprised as me, and questions: “…why would you say that? It’s in no way your fa-“
“It is.” His face seems as passive as ever, but after I look up into his eyes they tell a different story. “I… when that happened, I immediately noticed at school, but later chose to try a slower approach to find out what’s actually happening.”
Yea, I 'noticed' that…
“…and I took too long. Maybe if I was trying more, I could’ve done something. I could’ve prevented this entire situation entirely!” At this point it looks like he’s more mad at himself than anyone else.
Why does he look so guilty? It’s not like… “I-it’s not your fault Aizawa-sensei… I was trying to keep it from you myself and…” I speak up.
He turns to me with a sad expression: “Hitoshi, I’m a pro hero. Even though you were doing that, I should’ve done so much more... I’m pretty much useless at this poin-“
“I disagree.” My mom’s voice interrupts. “You did what you thought was best at the moment and in no way could you have predicted for, for this to happen. None of us could’ve.”
She seems to curl more into herself as she motions toward me. “In fact, after you were attacked by him I tried to call the police and tell them to file a restraining order, or to do basically anything about it, but…”
“As soon as they found out that I’m a single mom and where we live they said I should’ve ‘expected it’, and after finding out what our quirks are they called me a ‘fucking villain’ and hung up on me.”
But honestly I should’ve predicted that… lately I’ve been getting way too comfortable with Aizawa to fully realize most people feel this way about quirks like mine.
“Do you know what that police officers name was?” Aizawa asks. Is it just me or has the aura around him suddenly shifted into a menacing one?
“I can get him fired.”
“O-oh, y-you really don’t have to go through all the trouble…”
“Oh believe me, I will.”
At that moment Yamada walks out of one of the doors leading here with a: “So if you want to you can go in now- Shouta.” He looks at Aizawa with a scolding gaze. “What are you doing?”
“Planning to ruin someone’s career.”
“The police refused to file a restraining order against that piece of shit because of quirk discrimination.”
Even though watching the two of them bicker like a married couple (which they are) is fun, I would finally like to deal with the reason we are actually here, so I stand up and motion toward the door Yamada came out of with a hand.
“Can, can we go…?”
He nods his head. “Sure little listener! I already let him in on the basics of our situation, and what we need is for you to tell us the whole story.” Then he opens the door and walks into one of the hallways.
I take a deep breath and start slowly following behind him.
I really hope this ‘Tsukauchi’ guy is gonna be nice… It’s really good for me that he has a lie detecting quirk, so no one can say I just made it up.
Still, retelling something I’ve been avoiding even thinking about this whole time is gonna be rough.
But if I have to tell him the story I’ll make sure to include every single detail I can remember.
Go big or go home, right?
The next chapter is gonna be a disaster :D Tsukauchi will need lots and lots of caffeine...
Chapter 14: The interrogation
Hitoshi has to relive a traumatic event, Chizu is heartbroken, Aizawa is furious, Mic is sick and Tsukauchi is utterly exhausted.
This chapter was really hard to write and has some pretty graphic moments, so please read the content warnings!
Also I love the headcanon of Tsukauchi being a plant dad, so there you go :)
Content warnings: harmful thoughts, vomiting, rape/sexual assault GRAPHIC flashbacks, retelling of traumatic event (choking, muzzles)
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
His office looks …nice. It’s spacey with big windows, all of the furniture looks clean and new (unlike basically everything in my home) and he has a surprising amount of plants.
“Hello everyone. Please come in and sit down.” He welcomes us in while sitting next to a computer on the main table and motions to the chairs on the opposite side of said table.
I hesitantly sit down between my mom and Aizawa while giving him a critical look-over. He seems nice so far, but does he even know what my quirk is? Though on the other hand he seems to be friends with Aizawa and Yamada, and neither of the two have had a problem with my quirk so far…
“I am detective Tsukauchi Naomasa, it’s nice to meet the two of you.” He smiles and bows softly.
“Shinsou Chizu, nice to meet you too.” My mom puts on a similar expression.
…oh, they probably want me to introduce myself too right? “S-shinsou Hitoshi…”
He gives me a slight nod. “Shinsou-san, Shinsou-kun, I already heard the basics of the situation from Hizashi, so let me just repeat it here: From my understanding Shinsou-kun here got attacked and because of quirk discrimination the way for you to make sure the attacker gets what he deserves is by making an additional interview with me. Am I correct?”
Gee, going right in.
“Yes, I think that’s about it…” My mom answers with an awkward expression.
“Alright…” He opens one of the drawers in his desk and carefully pulls out a small black box with some buttons.
“This,” He points at the box, “is a recorder for the interrogation. I will alert you that I’m turning it on. Before that though…” He looks over toward Aizawa and Yamada. Aizawa seems to immediately understand what he meant by it, and asks: “Hitoshi?”
“Do you want me and Hizashi to leave? We can go, but we can also stay. What do you prefer?”
Ehhh… “I…” I have no idea… I kinda want them to stay, but also I just really don’t want them to be forced to listen to my sob story… But they’re nice. And they both feel safe. And if they wanted to leave they could’ve just waited outside to begin with, right?
“Would, would you mind s-staying…?” I look up to the two hopefully.
“Sure little listener!” Yamada enthusiastically agrees while Aizawa just slowly nods.
“Okay…” He fumbles with the box for a while, and while he’s trying to set something in there asks me: “Shinsou-kun, I don’t know a lot of what happened, but from what I understand it was a highly traumatic experience for you.”
He looked me in the eyes. “Are you sure you want to proceed with the interrogation?”
I let out a deep breath. “Yes please.”
Normally being asked about my decision so many times would make me really nervous, but for some reason every time I’m asked about this I become even more confident in my decision. It’s weird…
But I mean I want my revenge (could that even be called revenge?)… and the thought of what could happen to him in prison really makes me wanna smile.
He smiles: “Alright, good to see you’re determinated. One last thing before I start, the interrogation should work the way that I ask questions, you answer and I confirm whether it was true, I also might ask you to elaborate sometimes. You can add as many details as you wish, however if you lie I will have to say it out loud. I would recommend just not doing that.”
That makes sense…
“And in the beginning I will say who is in the room with me and ask you all to state your names even though I already know it. It’s just for me to confirm with my quirk, even though it always sounds very awkward."
He turns to the other people in the room. "Though I would prefer it if you left your own possible questions or additions on after we end the recording. Is that alright with you?”
All adults in the room nod, and Mr. Tsukauchi turns to me one last time: “If at any point do you feel like it’s too much for you and you want to pause, let me know. It’s not a problem at all.”
I nod and give him what I hope was a faint smile. Then, at last, he turns to the recorder and taps the start button. A small green light appears on the side of the black box.
“My name is Tsukauchi Naomasa, quirk Lie Detector, and I’m in the Musutafu police station on the --- street at the date of --- ----. I’m getting a statement from Shinsou Hitoshi, please for the record state your name again.”
“M-my name is S-Shinsou Hitoshi…”
Shit, why am I suddenly so nervous?? It appeared out of nowhere! …Well, I guess I’m just gonna stutter through this whole thing… great...
“For the record, that registered as true.” He then looks over to my mom. “In the room is also Shinsou Chizu, please state your name and your relation to Shinsou-kun.”
“My name is Chizu Shinsou, and Hitoshi is my son.” “True.”
...he was right, it does sound awkward as hell...
Then he turns toward Aizawa and Yamada. “The other two people in the room are Aizawa Shouta and Yamada Hizashi. Please, just as Shinsou-san, state your names and your relation to Hitoshi.”
“The name’s Yamada Hizashi, I’m Shinsou’s English teacher.”
“Aizawa Shouta, I teach Hitoshi Physics and lately have started training him to get into the Hero course.”
At this I notice Tsukauchi’s eyes visibly widening, and considering Aizawa’s smirk, he noticed too. It looks like Tsukauchi really wants to ask him about this, but because of the recording has to ignore the bomb that was just dropped on him and concentrate.
Honestly it looked kinda funny.
“…True and true. Okay, now that the introductions are done, I ask the other three people not to interrupt the interrogation unless absolutely necessary.”
He shifts in his chair to directly face me and I nervously gulp. Now the hard part’s coming, huh?
“Shinsou-kun, I mostly just want to go over the whole story with you, and to lead you will ask you questions. You do not have to answer them, but it would be beneficial for you to do so.”
He sighs. “By my understanding, the man named” he spares a quick glance toward the papers lying on his desk, “Akimara Fujiwara attacked you while you were coming home from school. Is that correct?”
“Well, not exactly…”
“Could you specify your statement, please?”
“It is true that he attacked me, but I wouldn’t say that was all of it. H-he also…” Oh god, how incredibly I hate having to say that word… “He, he r-raped me.”
There, you finally admitted it.
The truth is out for all of the world to see.
He must think you’re disgusting now.
He gives me a sympathetic look. “True.”
There, now there’s no running away from that word.
I said it. It was confirmed. It’s true. Now I can’t deny it.
…Fuck, how I wish I could…
“Where did this happen?”
“…I don’t know the exact spot, but it was in a dark alley near my home. My home is in ---- part of Musutafu.”
“True. What were you doing before the …attack?”
Okay, these questions aren’t that bad… I don’t have to describe the specifics of what he did yet…
“I was walking home from school, it was already getting dark because I stayed after school to train with Aizawa-sensei. When walking past one alley he appeared there any dragged me in.”
“True. What happened after that?”
This is gonna be the harder part. Mom probably senses my nervousness, and gently puts her hand over mine as an encouraging gesture.
“He, he grabbed me and …muzzled me… It cut into my skin and made it hard to breathe…”
How do things like that even exist anyway? It's so dehumanizing, not even mentioning the pain factor. Who in their right mind would be okay with muzzling someone like a goddamn dog?!
I can feel my mom squeeze my hand underneath the table, and from the corner of my eye can feel her sporting an uneasy expression. Right, this is her first time hearing about this…
“True. What did you do?”
“I, I tried to get it off, on reflex, but it didn’t budge… and he…” “Yes?” “H-he laughed…”
On the other side I see Yamada covering his mouth with his hand, and Aizawa is rubbing his back. While Yamada looks like he's gonna be sick, Aizawa has a murderous look on his face.
“Shinsou-kun, I heard that Aizawa eventually appeared and saved you, can you elaborate how he managed to find you?”
“Yes… I quickly got to my feet to try and run away further into the alley and, and then I pulled out my phone and tried to send him my location. I didn’t know for sure if he would help me…”
“True. Can you elaborate as to why you didn’t keep running?”
“I had n-no idea where it even leads, and most of these alleys are dead ends. Calling for help seemed like the best option…” My nervousness skyrockets as my thoughts berate me for not trying to run off somewhere else and chant:
Your fault. Your fault. Your fault...
Before he has time to ask another question, I start talking myself: “B-but, after I heard him somewhere close, I got up and tried to run, because h-he would see me otherwise… but the alley really was a dead end…”
Oh how I would’ve hoped for the alley to lead to an open road, busier street, or basically anywhere with people… I didn't have such luck though .
“That’s true as well.” He sighs, probably already guessing from the visible part of my injuries where this is going.
“What happened afterwards?”
I wish nothing did…
I wish he got lost in a different alley.
I wish he disappeared.
I wish he didn’t catch up to me.
I wish he didn’t hurt me.
I wish he didn’t fuck me.
“He, he caught up with me… he slammed me to the ground, a-and then punched me. In my stomach, then on my face…”
“True, is that where the bruises on your face, the black eye and split lip come from?” “Y-yes…”
“True.” God, this is making me sick…
I can feel my eyes welling up with tears, but considering the fact that my mom has my hand in a death grip now I’m pretty sure I’m not the only one... I just want it to be done so that I can bury all these memories in the darkest corner of my brain and never ever dig them up again…
“Did he say anything?”
My throat closes up at the memory of his words. I wish I didn't remember what he said. “H-he said something around the lines o-of ‘l-lets have some fun, s-slut…”
The words feel disgusting coming out of my throat, and next to me I can hear a sharp inhale of air, where my mom sits.
“Mhm, and did he do anything after hitting you?”
“He, he... he held me down my t-the throat by one hand, and started t-touching m-me…”
There’s a single lonely tear travelling down my face and my voice is getting progressively wobblier. My brain pays no mind to this, instead choosing to replay his words to me on repeat.
Such a cute little slut…
A whore just like your mommy…
Fuck, so nice and tight…
NO! SHUT UP!!!!
My breath is speeding up, but I try my best to ignore it together with his voice playing in my head.
“-insou-kun, are you listening to me?” …d-did I space out?... “Uh, I, s-sorry, I just kinda…”
“It’s alright, but don’t hesitate to tell me if you need a break.”
I hesitantly nod, trying to wipe the tears away. He himself looks just about done having to deal with this whole situation, and after an exhausted sounding sigh he looks up to me with a sad gaze.
He asks me a simple question: “Could you describe where and how he touched you?”
My breath hitches, his disgusting moans now echoing in my head, new tears long since running down my cheeks.
“I-I…” I stutter as memories I didn’t even know I had from that night make themselves known.
Be a good boy and lift those legs up for me…
…his hands slip between my legs…
Such a whore…
…he takes off his pants…
What a nice view…
…his ---- thrusts inside of my-
--PLEASE JUST STOP, I’M BEGGING YOU!!!--
I can feel the bile rising in my throat and quickly rise from my seat to try and run to the nearest trash bin.
My unbalanced chair clatters to the ground as I start throwing up kneeling next to the bin.
Ugh… This is my second time throwing up in the last 24 hours…
As I cough and cry bent above the trash bin I hear someone softly approaching me.
A loud sob breaks the silence.
“C-can I h-hug yo-ou..?” She asks with a broken voice.
I manage to slightly nod, and soon enough I can feel two warm arms wrapping around my torso as mom kneels down next to me. She’s loudly sobbing into my back with quiet ‘sorry’ ’s sounding every once in a while.
When I seem to have thrown up everything that was in my stomach, I lift my mess of a face up to look towards the rest of the people in the room.
Yamada is openly crying while holding hands with Aizawa, who is staring at a random spot on the wall with a furious expression and his knuckles turned white. ...Are those tears in his eyes?
Detective Tsukauchi looks the best out of all of them, but there’s an underlying sadness in his eyes as he looks at me. As someone working with cases similar to mine he must’ve seen a lot of bad stuff…
“I’m so sorry Shinsou-kun,” …huh? “I didn’t realize I pushed you too far.”
But, he, he didn’t? It, it was just my fault for getting so emotional over this… …Or was it not?
“He continues: “We’ll wrap the interrogation here, it would be simply immoral to try and continue now.”
“-B-but, I-, I can continue! I-i'm fine…” I try to say, but he cuts me off with a soft, yet sturdy voice.
“Shinsou-kun, please, don’t push yourself like this. Don’t worry, the information gotten from you combined with your injuries will be more than enough evidence. I promise, that man will get locked up for a very long time.”
…r-really? Is, is it over?
I release an exhausted sigh, and as all of the leftover adrenaline seeps out of my body I slump against the wall next to me to support myself. My eyes slowly close shut as all of the noise around me blurs into incoherent buzzing.
I really need some sleep now...
This is completely besides the point, but because my Thanksgiving school break just begun I rewatched Zootopia (cause why not) and the thought that is now stuck in my head is if Hitoshi and Nick ever met, the two would very probably bond over shared muzzle trauma :)
If it wasn't already obvious, I love making myself cry
Chapter 15: Wrapping it up
Aizawa is heartbroken and Chizu later on gets to take out her anger on an entitled piece of shit. Hitoshi is sad boi.
There isn't really anything major happening in this chapter, I just really love writing about entitled assholes getting put in their places :) (it's therapeutic)
Content warnings: self-blaming, intrusive thoughts, victim blaming, mentions of rape/sexual assault
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
So fucking pathetic.
You can’t even save one child. The one child you seem to so unnaturally care about.
It’s all my fault. Useless piece of shit.
If I’ve done something earlier, if I’ve done anything earlier, if I’ve at the very least been quicker getting to the location, then maybe…
Maybe I could’ve prevented it.
The quickly spiraling thoughts in my head don’t seem to end even after ending the interview, and I don’t even notice Hizashi, who’s repeatedly trying to talk to me.
I still feel like I’m on some distant island, and the only grounding thing for me now is Zashi’s hand and the burning pain behind my eyes, this time not from quirk usage.
Zashi then turns over to Hitoshi’s mum (…Chizu, huh…) to try and assist, while I’m still uselessly sitting in the same chair.
Hitoshi soon enough falls asleep from exhaustion (well, not like he got much sleep at our house…) in Chizu’s arms. Zashi then helps lift him onto a couch to get him into a comfortable position while we try and deal with the rest of the paperwork. Annoying.
It’s your fault.
It’s your fault he got hurt.
It’s your fault he got raped.
I grab my hair with a frustrated sound and slump further into the chair. This is the worst. “…I’m so sorry…”
The whisper was hardly audible, but Zashi still heard it. “Shouta, stop doing it.” He looks at me with a sad expression. “You’re doing the same thing you did when Oboro died. Stop blaming yourself, it’s none of ya fault this, any of this, happened.”
I try to open my mouth to argue, but all the words are stuck in my throat. A wet drop falls down onto my pants. Huh. I’m crying. Great.
And I only knew him for less than a month. If I’m feeling like this, I can’t even start to imagine how his mother must feel… I turn my head to look in her direction.
She’s still quietly sobbing, tear after tear running down her face, Hitoshi’s head on her lap.
“…m-my baby, my b-baby….” She’s whimpering oh so quietly while gently combing through his lavender hair.
She’s looking at him like he’s her entire world.
I’m pretty sure he is.
Tsukauchi doesn’t seem as shaken as the rest of us, after all he’s been working with cases like this for a long time. It probably hardly even affected him-
But that thought gets proven wrong as soon as Tsukauchi moves his hands to cover his face and releases and exhausted sounding sigh. “I need a lot of caffeine after this…” He murmurs.
A man of my own kind.
I hate paperwork. So much.
I lift myself up from my chair slowly, not feeling much better than I have before. Tsukauchi has every right to look tired, this is one of the reasons I respect him so much. I would not be able to handle dealing with this shit and knowing exactly what to do (and having to constantly explain it to people on top of that).
“Okay…” He says, “We’re basically done, the only thing left is for Shinsou-san to read through and sign one last document. It has to be done in the main office, I’ll call in one guy to escort you there.”
“Can’t you just show us yourself?” I ask. Why wouldn’t he?
“I’d like to, but about 25 minutes ago I was supposed to have another meeting where I should be…” He chuckles tiredly. “The time it takes to deal with paperwork is unbelievable. Don’t worry, the guy I called in is new, but he’s only escorting you, so it shouldn’t be a big deal.”
I nod. I almost forgot how tight his schedule is, he has years of experience under his belt and his quirk is fantastic for the job, he has almost no free time. Must feel like a curse sometime.
“Though,” He turns directly to me, “Later when we’ll both have time I’d love hearing the story behind you personally training Shinsou-kun to become a hero. I always thought you hated kids.”
“It's different, he has potential and it just kind of… happened.” I shrug, trying to hide the blush on my face by burying it in my capture weapon.
After we deal with the issue of Hitoshi still sleeping on the couch (in the end Mic decided to carry him out into the car and wait for me with Chizu), we quickly said our goodbyes and followed after the officer Tsukauchi handed some papers.
This station is stupidly big…
Maybe it’s just cause I’m generally irritated right now, but the newbie leading us seems way too arrogant, walking too fast basically ignoring us and when I asked him a question to where exactly we’re going only answering with a ‘tsk’.
As if having to work with annoying superpowered teenagers on the daily wasn’t enough, now I have an entitled asshole in front of me.
Is he even allowed to be going through those papers…? Well, I’m just gonna assume he knows what he’s doing…
I hope we’re done here soon, cause I really need my bed right now. Bed, cats, husband and caffeine. The dream.
Him saying something interrupts me from my daydreaming. “Geez, if you didn’t want him to get raped you should’ve just lived elsewhere, what did you think was gonna happen if you live in that part of the city?” He says with a disgusted face.
“I..w-what?” Chizu seems to be at least as surprised as me.
“You heard me.” He stops, turning to look at her over his shoulder. “Just buy a house somewhere else, it’s not that hard.”
I’m going to punch him.
As I’m preparing to send him to the ER, Chizu stops me with a motion of her hand and takes a deep breath. Oh I know exactly what that look on her face means...
“How privileged you must be not to even realize the amount of shit you just said is unreal. Do you seriously think that if I had the option to live somewhere safer I wouldn’t take it? Do you really think I would stay in that dangerous, gang infested place if I had a choice??”
That’s the Chizu I know, standing up to pieces of shit. It almost makes me smile.
She’s looking at him with an ‘are you serious’ gaze, and he turns around entirely to face her. “Just get a job, stop being ungrateful.”
…if she doesn’t punch him, I will.
She seems to be in disbelief: “Are you fucking serious?! ‘Just get a job’, well, I’ve tried!! I have tried so many fucking times to get a better job than the one I have now, but guess what. Every application has my fucking quirk listed right under my name.”
Now she’s just angry. And I’m here for it. She has every right to be furious.
God I wish she just kicked him in the balls.
Chizu was angry ever since we arrived at the station, and now all of that suppressed anger is bubbling up to the surface. (This is gonna be fun)
“I have a mental quirk, Mindmap, and since everyone that could offer me a good job is too scared I’ll look into their mind and blackmail them with it, they won’t fucking employ me!! On top of that, I have no college education. There isn’t an actual way for me to do anything and it’s infuriating!!”
He opens his mouth to try and say something, but is quickly stopped by her.
“But do you know wat the worst part of it all is?? Every. Single. Fucking. Time I tried to call to the police station, whether our house was robbed, I was raped, we were HURT, not a single one of you did anything!!! The moment you find out our quirks that is all you see about us!!”
For some reason, even though we’re being quite loud, I don’t think there’s anyone coming toward us, so I just stay on the sidelines in case she needed some help in absolutely demolishing that asshole.
Though, I am writing down his name. While expelling brats at UA is fun, getting adult pieces of shit fired is a different kind of joy.
“But my son, my baby, the person I love the most getting raped was the LAST FUCKING DROP. I am not going to be quiet about the blatant quirk discrimination I and many other people have to face on a daily basis!!”
She has tears in her eyes, and it’s obvious this is her releasing emotions that have been kept in for a very long time.
Quirk discrimination is disgusting. People love to say how far we’ve progressed as a civilization, but as long as any type of discrimination takes place here it’s like we’re in stone age.
He looks to be in disbelief that someone would dare to stand up to him. The priviledge is basically oozing off of him (it kind of reminds me of kids like Bakugou... though I'll personally make sure Bakugou never grows up to be like this).
My voice cuts through the silence like a knife. “You.” I point to the entitled little shit. “Lead us to where we need to be. I want this done as soon as possible.”
“W-who do you think you two are for talking to me like that?!! Do you even know what my quirk i-“
“I don’t give a flying shit what your quirk is.” I activate mine and stare at him with red eyes. It seems to have an effect on him, but he still manages to utter: “Who is even this hobo to try and giving me orders?”
Hobo, huh? “Get us to where we need to be, then start looking for new jobs. I don’t think Naomasa is going to like to know he has quirkist asses in here.”
At mentioning Tsukauchi, he seems to freeze in time. I just put on a toothy grin.
The gay agenda today: gaslight, gatekeep, ruin people’s careers.
I release a relieved sigh once it’s finally all done.
Now we just need to drop Chizu with Hitoshi to their home and get to our house. It’s Thursday, but me and Zashi are taking a day off. It’s gonna take a while to recover from having such a huge pile of shit fall on you.
As we’re walking to the parked car, she turns to me and says with an embarrassed expression: “Sorry about that Shouta…”
“There’s no need to be sorry, that entitled ass deserved it.”
She softly laughs. “True, true. …Still, I think that I maybe shouldn’t have snapped exactly at him, cause he wasn’t the only one who has treated me like this…”
“If that’s the problem, I would take great pleasure in tracking down every single one of those people and letting you scream at them.” She laughs again, unknown to the fact that I was completely serious. Oh well.
We get to the car and I open the door next to the driver, since Chizu wants to be in the back with Hitoshi.
“What the hell took you two so long??” Zashi asks, careful not to be too loud. “I thought signing one document doesn’t take that long.”
“We ruined a person’s career along the way.”
He looks at me, then takes a deep breath and goes: “Shou. Respectfully, what the fuck?”
On the way home, Hizashi and Chizu eventually start talking and at Zashi’s mention of his radio show Chizu seems to brighten up. From there the conversation takes a different turn, the two now discussing music and Zashi’s radio show.
I almost forgot how much she loved music… I guess some things never change…
As the car (how did I even get into a car) starts slowing down, I open my eyes and try to adjust to the sudden light.
…I’m tired, I wanna sleep more…
My head is laying on some kind of weird pillow- no wait, it’s moving. “…Toshi, are you awake?”
Oh, that’s my mom. Now I get it. “…Hi.. where are we?” I ask in a still tired voice and yawn. “Almost home.” She ruffles my hair, and if the car didn’t come to a stop soon after, I’m pretty sure I would’ve fallen back asleep.
I slowly get out of the car, still feeling a bit out of it, and follow after my mom into the apartment.
“Wait.” A thought occurs to me. “Did, did I miss school today?”
“Yes, and you will also miss school tomorrow on Friday. You should rest Toshi.” My mom says and Aizawa adds on to it: “I’ll get you all the schoolwork if that’s what’s worrying you. Take it easy and don’t worry.”
Well, it was expected. I really want to go back to school after the weekend ends though, I don’t want to miss anything...
Suddenly a thought occurs to me. I can take a shower now. Maybe it will help with the crawling feeling on my skin I’ve felt ever since I was awake today, or it will help me feel ‘cleaner’ at least…
Spoiler alert, it didn’t.
Sorry if the chapter wasn't all that entertaining, but I can assure you that the next one will have shit going down :)
The reveal is getting steadily closer :3 Dadzawa is gonna find out soon!!!
Chapter 16: Now he knows
Aizawa is being oblivious and Chizu gives him a hint. Then it (finally) clicks.
This chapter was so much fun to write!!
Content warnings: self-blaming, mentions of sexual assault
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
I didn’t think it was possible, but this place seems even worse up close. The roof looks like it’s going to fall and crush us any second, the walls are barely standing, some windows broken and door taped up. And that doesn’t even cover half of it.
Hizashi turns to me, and by his expression it’s obvious he’s at least as horrified as me by the sight. As Hitoshi and Chizu walk first, he leans towards me and whispers: “Are you sure this is where they live??”
Hizashi just sighs, and after a moment turns to me again, this time with unfallen tears framing his face. “Sho… we can’t just let this be and do nothing…”
I nod, the silent agreement of ‘we’ll deal with this’ left unsaid.
Hitoshi seems to be doing much better than before, now hurrying to finally go to shower, now that he has the option to. We’ll have to deal with the ‘therapist’ thing too, but that’s a discussion for another day. Now he needs to rest…
Still, I feel like I could’ve done more…
As I’m turning around to leave, Chizu comes back out the door and asks me: “Would, would you be okay with exchanging numbers? It’s been a while, and now when you’re also training Hitoshi to be a hero it would be nice…”
That didn’t even occur to me. “Sure, that’s a good idea.”
“I’ll wait in the car for you Shou, okay?” Mic pats my shoulder and waves back to Chizu. “See ya!” “See you.” She smiles.
When we’re done saving each other’s phone numbers into out phones, Chizu hesitantly asks me: “If you don’t mind, …why did you decide to train Hitoshi? I’m really proud of him, but I… I was really surprised someone would want to personally train him…”
“Well…” I start, unsure of how to word it. “First off, he has potential and his drive to be a hero is admirable. Also… he kind of does remind me of myself in that age.” Yea, I didn’t have it easy as a kid…
“I remember how hard it was for me to get where I am now, and …I know it would be so much easier if I just had someone, someone more experienced who showed me the ropes, who helped me succeed. I never had anyone like that in his age and at that time would’ve loved the help, so…”
“Thank you.” She smiles. “For being Hitoshi’s hero.”
That sentence makes me smile as well.
It’s your fault this happened to him, so much for being his hero.
*Sigh* These thoughts sadly don’t go away, but at least they become a little easier to ignore after a while. Not to say they don’t sting.
“You know,” I start the conversation again, “Sometimes it’s funny how similar me and Hitoshi are, like not even just personality wise… and now he’s learning with my capture weapon. He’s a great kid, you’re lucky to be his parent.”
“I’m glad to hear that...” She says with a hint of nervousness. Why the nervousness though?
“Yeah, he, I never thought I would have a personal student that I train by myself, but the two of us just seem to have some kind of… bond? I don’t know how to explain it, but Hizashi likes to joke that we’re related.”
It was supposed to be lighthearted sentence, but for some reason she looks like the air was knocked out of her lungs…why? Oh… did I overstep some boundaries?
“Um, I’m sorry if that made you uncomfortable… He obviously isn’t my son and that was a bad ‘joke’, sorry about that…”
That however doesn’t have the desired effect, as after a moment she looks up at me and says: “You’re really oblivious sometimes…”
…Huh? What is that supposed to mean
any why does it feel important?
“What?” I lift an eyebrow.
“Uh…it’s nothing, I was just so sure you were going to figure it out by this time… not like you had to, I just thought that it was being really obvious…” She starts mumbling hesitantly and her hand starts absentmindedly rubbing at the back of her neck (I think Hitoshi has that nervous tic too).
“Uhm…” I honestly have no idea where she’s going with this. “Did you, like, mean the fact that we’re basically the same age and you have a teenage son?”
“Ehhh, it is tied to that…”
Ugh, does she have to keep circling around it like that? Can’t she just tell me if I missed something important? (I have been told my social intelligence isn’t the best...)
I give her a look and she opens her mouth again. “Okay, so… based on Hitoshi’s age, he would have to be ehm, ‘conceived’ sometime around the time the two of us were dating….”
I mean yeah, but what does that-
“Oh, did you….cheat…? And feel guilty about it now…?” I ask questioningly, cause that does not sound like something she would do at all…
She just levels me with a deadpan look. “Shouta. …I- ugh!“ She makes a noise of frustration.
I don’t get it. Why is she so frustrated? And what was that about me being ‘oblivious’…?
She takes a deep breath. “Okay, so, I’m just going to give you some information and then I’ll have to return to Hitoshi. Just… think it over a little, and if you have questions later call me…?” She offers a nervous smile.
“So… As I said, Hitoshi had to be eh, ‘conceived’ when the two of us were dating, and I didn’t sleep with anyone else at that time. Also, there’s a reason you two are so similar.”
She smiles again. “I’m looking to hearing from you later, see you Shouta.”
I still don’t really get it…
“Okay, goodbye Chizu…” And as she closes the door quietly I turn around to walk down the stairs to the ground floor.
As I’m walking down the creaking (barely functioning) stairs, my mind can’t help but go back to our previous conversation.
This makes no sense… I mean, if she didn’t sleep with anybody else during the time we were dating then… then-
… W A I T .
You two are so similar
Like father like son, huh Shouta?
He doesn’t just look like you, he has exactly your personality
NO, THERE IS NO FUCKING WAY.
I have long since stopped trying to safely get down the stairs, now standing there like a frozen statue.
No, no, no, this can’t be happening, we just slept together once, I slept with a woman once, there was such a small chance…
Oh my god, what do I even DO????
I just… I -
'I have a son.'
That sentence feels so unreal…
My body slowly lowers itself to the ground, and as I’m crouching down I cover my face with my hands.
This… this is…
I think I’m going to be sick… This is giving me a headache, what am I supposed to do?? What will Hitoshi do if he knows?? What if he already knows??? I just-
This is too much for me…
Hitoshi is my son.
I think I just… need a while for that to sink in. I, like-
Good job Aizawa Shouta, you sleep with a woman once and have a son as a result. Why didn’t I know about this earlier?
Now that I think about it… I remember her parents were pretty well off, it wouldn’t make sense for her to be living like this, unless…
Oh god, did they kick her out?! I know they were super strict, but I thought they loved her? Who in their right mind would do something like that to their own child…?
Speaking of that... How would Hitoshi even feel about me??
Would he just accept having me as a …d a d? It feels so weird to say it…
Please, you’ve been absent throughout his whole childhood and think he’ll just welcome you with open arms?
Hah, it’s your fault he got raped anyway, he’ll hate you more than anything
You don’t deserve having him as a son
Useless piece of shit
Ha…. I kind of am...
He would hate having me as a dad, it would probably make him extremely uncomfortable… I don’t think I should tell him, after being absent for so long (not knowing doesn’t really matter here) I don’t deserve to be his dad.
An exhausted groan makes its way out my throat, and after a moment of quietness I start getting up from the spot on the stairs I was sitting on. Slowly, I try to get myself to Zashi’s car while ignoring the headache and the hateful thoughts still repeating themselves in my head.
This can’t be real…
I mean, now that I KNOW, it makes so, so much sense!
Poor Hitoshi… He’s such an amazing kid, he deserves a much better father than I could ever be…
I just wish that I could take a leap back in time… I would fix it, I would be there for him and Chizu when they needed it instead of just sleeping and spending my free time in cat café’s. Useless.
I can’t get the image of Hitoshi as a little kid asking where his dad is out of my head. I’m pretty sure it’s going to haunt my nightmares tonight.
I really am the worst father ever huh?
As I get closer to our car, Zashi sticks his head out of the window and remarks with a grin: “I had no idea that ‘exchanging numbers’ took such a long time! You gotta show me how you do it-“
But as he notices my expression he stops mid-sentence, instead asking: “Shouta, is everything okay?”
“No.” Is the only answer he gets while I put my seatbelt on and close the door behind me.
A little taken aback by my straightforward answer, it takes him a while to answer: “Okayyyy…. Aand do you wanna talk about it??”
“We’ll see…” I sigh. “You can start the car instead of it standing here in the parking lot you know.”
“Okay, but first.” What first- Oh. He’s giving me a hug. …I guess it’s nice…
I rest my head in the crook of his neck as he gently brushes his hands through my black hair. It actually does help calm me a little…
After begrudgingly letting go of each other after a while he starts the car and we finally head home. I’m exhausted…
On top of finding Hitoshi in that alley, taking him home, then dealing with an investigation and basically the retelling of his story I now have an existential crisis because Hitoshi=MY SON and my brain just cannot shut up about it.
I release a tired huff as I sink further into the passenger seat. Who knew it could feel this comfortable in here… Though that’s probably caused by the fact that I feel like I could sleep for 12 hours straight now.
After a few minutes of comfortable quiet he asks me again: “So… Shou, what happened?”
“Uhhh….” I mean where do I start… Maybe I should just go out with the truth…? Is that the right choice?
After a moment of thinking, I decide to just come out and say it: “Hitoshi is my son.” I still can’t believe it myself, so I can only imagine how he would react.
I expected him to be shocked, but to my surprise he just laughed. “So you finally admitted that the two of you are like from a printer? That’s nice.”
And here I was thinking that I was the only oblivious one…
“No, Hizashi…” I sigh and brush a hand through my hair. “Hitoshi is my biological son. Mine and Chizu’s.”
Him being quiet for that small moment felt like an eternity.
He turned his face to me, and after noticing my serious expression it finally seems to click. Then in the split of a few seconds a series of actions took place.
“wAIT ARE YOU FUCKING SERIOUS?!?!?!”
“Hizashi wATCH THE ROAD, WATCH THE FUCKI-“
Dadzawa: *being oblivious (AS FUCK)*
Chizu: he's your SON BITC-
Anyway don't worry, nobody's gonna die from the car crash :)
Chapter 17: Bad driver
The aftermath of our little car accident and Hitoshi has a panic attack.
I was supposed to be doing a three page essay about inequality in modern Latin America, but guess what I was working on instead :)
(the teacher's not gonna be happy, but that's future me problem)
Content warnings: panic attack, intrusive thoughts (explicit), mentions of rape/sexual assault, brief mentions of choking and hyperventilating
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
…I guess gays really can’t drive.
(or it’s just me and Zashi giving the rest of the community a bad reputation)
Either way, this could’ve ended a lot worse. We were lucky this part of the city has little to no traffic and there don’t seem to be many passerby’s. In the warm afternoon sun it almost looks like some bizarre modern photograph.
Hizashi hit a street lamp and absolutely demolished the front of our car. Great.
I try to ignore the momentary adrenaline that started flowing through my veins thanks to that ‘experience’ and turn to face Hizashi. “Why.”
“Shouta, with all due respect, you told me that HITOSHI IS YOUR BIOLOGICAL SON WHILE I’M DRIVING AND EXPECTED ME TO NOT TO HAVE SOME KIND OF REACTION?????”
“You are such a drama queen.”
“Takes one to know one.” At this point I just feel like laughing/crying/screaming/sleeping… or all of that at once. I mean, at least we’re not hurt…
“Okay, so…” I turn to face him again after taking a calming deep breath. “Let’s just get out of the car and try to call someone for help, or something.”
“Sure sure, don’t worry I’ll call.” He answers as he unfastens his seatbelt.
We get out of the car (luckily the car crash didn’t significantly damage the doors, or else we would have to climb out of the windows) and move to stand on the sidewalk. “What am I supposed to do while you’re calling someone?”
“Stand there and look hot.”
But he already dialed the number and is currently talking with someone like if he never said anything. I hide my faint blush in my capture weapon, later choosing to put out the orange cone that was previously uselessly standing on the side of the pavement to make sure no one accidentally crashes into our awkwardly positioned car.
Then, since he’s still chattering away (now for some reason discussing his favorite TV show???) I focus back on continuing my earlier existential crisis because Hitoshi is mY SON!!!
After a while he ends the call and turns to me: “They should be here soon, we just need a wait for a little while.”
“Great. Just remind me to drive next time…”
“Hey!! It’s not my fault you told me you have A SON when I was trying to drive!!”
I roll my eyes, but immediately after he finishes his sentence I can hear a squeal and a very familiar voice that starts speaking from behind me. “Oh my god, Aizawa-sensei, you have a SON???”
Oh no. This is bad. This is very bad.
It’s Mina and Denki, aka the worst gossip combination possible. This is not going to be good.
Hizashi doesn’t seem to view it in the same way as me though, since in the moment when I’m deciding whether I’ll want a black or grey casket he joins in on their ongoing torture of my mental health.
“I know little listeners, I had no idea myself until he decided to tell me now in that car over there that he has a TEENAGE SON!!” At that there’s another high pitched squeal and even more exited chattering. Just fucking fantastic.
“Why is the car crashed though?” Asks Denki. Ah yes, the million-dollar question.
“Oh that’s simple. Mic is a terrible driver.” I turn to them with a deadpan reply. “Do not take his example.”
“You know I drive well you big grump, just not when people announce they HAVE CHILDREN TO ME MID-DRIVE!!”
“Not paying attention while driving isn’t setting a good example.”
“Oh, and not using protection and having a child as a teenager is?”
…As much as I hate to admit it, he does have a point… not like I’d ever say it to his face.
Mina and Denki are watching our bickering with innate fascination, and as much I would love to threaten them into silence with expulsion, it’s obvious it wouldn’t work and class 1A would find it out from them anyway.
This is the worst…
I don’t even know for how long I’ve been sitting in the shower, but it doesn’t feel like enough. I’ve scrubbed my entire body with soap several times over, but I still feel almost like if I had fresh mud stains (or something way worse) all over myself.
Why do I still feel so dirty…?
After a while of standing in the shower my body slowly started slipping further and further down, and now I’m sitting there with my knees pulled to my chest while the numbing flow of water flushes over me.
I want it so stop… Why won’t it stop…
Why do I still feel like this, it’s over now, so why…?
I’m not sure if I cried or not, as the water from my eyes could’ve immediately mixed with the water coming out of the shower head, but I can say for sure that I still feel like shit.
I don’t think this is gonna get any better even if I sit here for another hour or so. I should probably get up…
As I get out of the shower to dry myself I avoid looking into the cracked mirror on the wall at all costs, not wanting to see how my body looks like when I’m not wearing clothes. I didn’t even manage to look while taking the pictures, and by the faces of the nurses back there I don’t want to look.
I feel so disgusting…
You should, you basically are a little whore now.
W-wait, no, I… I didn’t want it…
You should’ve resisted more then, if you really didn’t want it.
Sometime during the last day, the little voice in the back of my head mixed in with the sound of his voice. It makes having to listen to it even more unbearable, it makes me feel so paranoid like he’s still somehow in here…
Sure I am, and I will never leave you my cute little slut.
After resisting the urge to gag (or worse, throw up for the third time) I get out of the small enclosed space as fast as I can and go straight into the ‘kitchen’ to find my mom sitting at a table there.
She seems to be trying to keep herself awake, but in all honesty she should really sleep. I mean she pulled a night shift and then right after that had to go to the police station with me, which took all the way until afternoon. She must feel exhausted right now.
“Mom?” She immediately turned her head around, the eyebags under her lavender eyes more prominent than usual.
“Hey Toshi, you doing okay?” She asks in a quiet gentle voice.
“I...” Should I tell her? She has gone through the same things, so she might know if it goes away… Oh well… “I still feel kind of…dirty…”
She nods sadly and in the afternoon light I can notice her eyes well up with unshed tears. “I see…” She gets up from the rocky chair she was sitting on. “Do you want a hug Toshi?”
Her arms gently wrap around me and one of her hands starts slowly rubbing my back in a circular motion. A wave of new found calmness washes over me as I basically melt into her arms.
After a moment of quiet only slightly interrupted by random creaking of some pipes in the building I decide to break the silence. “Mom…?”
“Yes Toshi?” “I don’t… I don’t think I can sleep alone today…”
She gives me a tired smile. “That’s okay Toshi, you can sleep with me in my bed. When do you wanna go to sleep?”
I said that I want to go to sleep now (if not for my own tiredness then for the sheer exhaustion evident on my mom’s face) and soon enough the two of us were curled together on the mattress lying on the floor of her room.
She was gently brushing her fingers through my hair and for a while she hummed some songs she heard on the radio. She has a calming voice, it made falling asleep so much easier.
As my eyes are slowly closing I can’t help but feel safe with her.
She’s an amazing mom, even though she doesn’t seem to think so… (I guess I’ll just have to keep reminding her then)
The next day drags by painfully slow, and even though Aizawa sent me all of the schoolwork over my phone I still have way too much free time on my hands.
In the end I end up browsing the internet and looking at various articles. They’re mostly about some recent hero fights, usually from local heroes. Then, just as I’m scrolling past another article, the title immediately catches my mind.
‘The villain Toxin is still on the loose, another victim was found on the --- street bloodied and raped, as after incapacitating them with his quirk Toxin usually tends to force himself on them and-‘
Fuck, I was trying so hard not to think about this…
As if hypnotized my eyes continue scanning through the article in record speed, my stomach getting upset more and more with every sentence. The only reason I stopped eventually was because the phone fell out of my shaking hand and to the ground.
Wait, why is my hand shaking…?
Scratch that, why is my whole body shaking??
Fuck, I can’t breathe-
As if my throat decided to entirely close up, my whole body is shaking with me taking a shallow breath after another. Fuck, this is bad, what do I do-
The lines from the article flashing through my mind and blurring together with my own memories don’t help the lack of oxygen getting into my brain. No, no, stop, no, go away, get away from me-
His voice sounds through my head again, entirely freezing my shaking body in place.
Spread those legs for me, will ya?
N-no, go away, let me be…
No can do slut, why don’t we have some fun together?
No no no no NO, FUCK! GET AWAY FROM ME-
Fucking you feels so good, I might stop by sometime this weekend
“NO!! STOP IT, PLEASE JUST STOP IT!!!”
I can’t breathe, he’s here, he’s on top of me, he’s choking me, he’s going to-
A blurry figure enters my peripheral vision. As it gets closer to me, I instinctually curl into a ball and scream: “NO, PLEASE!!”
Please don’t, please stop, please, I swear I’ll do anything, just stop please!!
“Hitoshi, it’s me Hitoshi! It’s okay…”
A broken wail leaves my throat as I jump straight into her arms and immediately bury my face in it. Her hands wrap around me in a calming motion and I can faintly hear her whispering quiet reassurances as I try to even out my breathing.
“…It’s okay Toshi … it’s okay … it’s alright … I’m here with you…we're safe...”
After a while of listening to her heartbeat my breaths start slowly evening out and I can feel my body slump against hers as I release a tired sigh.
She gently ruffles my hair and I raise my arms up to try and wipe away the tears. “Sorry about that…”
“Nonsense, there’s nothing to be sorry about Toshi…” She pulls away from me enough to look me in the eyes. “What happened?”
“I… I don’t even know… I just… I was reading some article on my phone…” I unlock my phone and without sparing even a glance on my screen hand it to her.
“It just, it kind of came on its own and I heard h-his voice in my head and I…I…” Just thinking about it makes my eyes well up with brand new tears.
After looking over the article for a moment she hands me the phone back with an understanding look. “I think I understand what happened… you might want to blacklist some specific words on your devices… it could help to prevent a panic attack, so that it doesn’t happen again…”
That makes sense… I slowly nod my head.
“Could, could you help me with it…? It’s just, s-sometimes even seeing that, that words make me feel…” “Of course Toshi, don’t worry.”
And that’s how we spent the next half hour. Honestly I feel a lot better now that I know something like that article shouldn’t pop up again.
I’m just a little bit worried about how I’ll handle this outside of my room, cause it’s not like I can just put a filter on real life…
Writing the more explicit sentences made my skin crawl... I would never wish this upon anyone :(
Chapter 18: Expecting the worst
Zawa and Hitoshi are way too convinced the other hates the to realize that it far from the truth. (Chizu is facepalming in the corner)
My roommates boyfriend just dumped her after cheating on her and she's been crying in our room for the last hour and a half :) anyway how are you guys doing?
Content warnings: self-blaming + spiraling
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
When me and Hizashi (finally) got home, I spent the rest of the day overthinking that bomb Chizu decided to drop on me. I was so lost in thought I didn’t even pay any mind to the cats rubbing on my legs demanding attention. And I have to be hella distracted to do that.
It’s the evening and were planning to go to sleep soon, when Zashi sits down on the couch next to me and says: “Shou, I think we should talk about this…”
“You mean you wrecking the car?”
“Nice deflection, but you know what I mean.” *sigh* Yeah, I know, I just have no idea what to do, so deflecting it seems like the better option… “I’ve given you time today to think about it and left you alone, but it doesn’t…. you don’t seem happy, is there a problem?”
How does he not get it, of course there is a problem!! Hitoshi would never want me as a dad, the moment he would find out he’d probably get super uncomfortable to even be in the same room as me.
“Yes. I am the problem.”
“WHAT?!? Shouta don’t say that about yourself-“
“But it’s the truth. Hitoshi deserves so much better than what I could ever give him, Jesus, I was absent his entire childhood, I don’t just get to waltz into his life whenever I please!”
The pure emotion in my voice is enough to make him momentarily freeze. “I- Shou...” He looks at me. “You don’t actually believe that, do you? That’s not true at all-“
But at this point I’m far too upset to even try and calm my voice. “No, it is! What did I ever do for him?! I’m basically just his sperm donor!”
“In the end I became just like my father, even though I swore my whole life that I would never be like him!!”
Hizashi’s quirk enhanced voice shuts down my self-deprecating speech as he cups my face in his hands. “You are not like your father. You will never be like your father.” His voice is even and leaving no place for arguments.
“No. Your father chose to leave you while being an adult who was mentally, financially and emotionally capable to take care of you. He CHOSE to do that, he chose to be a piece of shit to you by leaving you in foster care when you were a little child and then trying to get into your life once you were an adult.”
His eyes are full of compassion as he asks me two important questions: “Shouta, did you know you had a son?”
“And would you choose to ‘leave’ him if you knew and were capable to take care of him?”
“O-Of course not!”
“Well there you have it. You are not your father. You care, you care about him so much, why else would you spend the whole day worrying about whether he will hate you or not??”
He is presenting some good points…
I give him a slight nod, and his whole demeanor seems to suddenly brighten up. He’s way too bright. I hate to ruin the mood, but… “I still think he will hate me though…”
“I know, okay? I just, he has every right to… I was never in his life before, so if he doesn’t want me there now I’m in no position to try and demand it - I wouldn’t even dream of doing that.”
He seems to be in thought for a moment, and then says: “Personally I don’t think he will hate you, but I like your approach of letting him decide whether he wants you in your life.”
At least this we seem to agree on. “I think I’ll try to call Chizu sometime tomorrow after school or over the weekend, we have a lot of stuff to talk about…”
“Good idea Shou. Just remember, be positive!” He gives me one of his sunshine smiles, and I can’t help but offer a small smile too.
Maybe Hitoshi wouldn’t even have to find out, right? He probably doesn’t know anyway…
I hate my class. I hate my entire class so, so much. Ever since Denki and Mina heard that I have a son and decided to tell everyone the entire class has become a conspiracy club. (I never thought that Todoroki of all people would be that into it…)
Anyway, after having to dodge all of their crazy questions/assumptions for the whole day I was way too tired for having a conversation with Chizu on Friday, so instead I tried calling her on the weekend.
Damn problem children are gonna give me gray hair…
She answers her phone with a cheerful voice: “Hi Shouta, how are you doing?”
“What is it?”
“Ohhh, did you finally figure it out??”
“…I hate you.”
“Sorry sorry, I’m just teasing you…” Her voice slowly shifts into a more serious tone. “So… what do you say Shouta?”
“Is-“ Am I really about to ask this…? “Is Hitoshi actually my son?”
“…Yes. I- I’m so sorry Shouta… you probably want an explanation, right…?”
“I, I don’t know, just, why didn’t you tell me earlier…?”
“Mhm, yeah, that’s…*sigh* well, after I left I cut off contact with everyone, you know, the r-rumors and stuff…”
‘Rumors’ doesn’t even begin to describe what happened back then…
“A-and so when I got kicked out of the house later, I.. I had no way to contact you, and had to spend all my time getting money for me and Toshi to even survive… That was when you were already out of school, so even if I by some miracle managed to get to UA I probably wouldn’t find out anything…”
Her voice is shaking as she continues. “I just… even now I… I’m so, so sorry Shouta, y-you deserved to know earlier and-“
“I’m not angry or anything. I understand Chizu.”
Another sob can be heard over the phone. “S-Shouta, you are way too nice…”
This brings us to the part of our discussion I was not looking forward to… “Chizu... I... what do we do about this…?”
“*Sigh* I, I don’t know… I…”
“Well, Hitoshi doesn’t know, so if we could keep it that way then that would be-“
“Oh, Hitoshi knows.”
“What the hell do you mean by ‘Hitoshi knows’?!?!”
“…I thought it was obvious… and also he knew for some time now, I think he found out a little before the …incident.”
No. No no no. There is no way. Fuck- Shit!!
If he knows, then… …wait, maybe that would explain his weird behavior the day I was training him… I almost forgot about that thanks to the shitshow that followed, but...
He was uncomfortable, wasn’t he?
That day he avoided talking with me and didn’t seem to concentrate well enough. He didn’t look me in the eyes at all and seemed weird in general. So that’s why…
Well, at least now I know… He does hate me.
I can’t say I didn’t expect it, it just… It hurts.
It hurts, but he has every right to do this. He has every right in the world to hate me, and I don’t blame him.
*Sigh* I guess this is the closest I ever got to my son… I wish I got to know him more, but it’s not like I deserve it…
My entire posture seems to deflate, and I tighten the grip on my phone to listen to Chizu as I ignore the tears prickling at the corners of my eyes.
“-outa! Are you still there??”
“…Yeah, yeah I’m here. Then… what do we do?”
“I don’t know Shouta… but I think the two of you should talk about it. You need to have a discussion to know where you’re standing.”
That sounds doable. It’s gonna hurt seeing him reject any ties with me in person, but I can do it.
He wants to be a hero and being with me would probably make him extremely uncomfortable (I can relate with my own ‘father’), so I’ll find someone else to train him. It’s the least I can do after all of this…
In the end the two of us agreed on Hitoshi coming to school early on Monday and coming to my office to talk about it. He probably wouldn’t say he hates me to my face – he’s too nice of a kid for that, but I’m pretty confident I’ll see it in his eyes.
This isn’t gonna be easy…
As I’m washing the dishes after ‘dinner’, mom turns to me with an uneasy expression. Oh no, I’ve had enough of those already in the past few days…
“…Mom, is everything okay?”
“Eh… yes, I think. It’s just… there was this thing…” She has no idea how to form her thoughts, so I try to help by prompting her.
“Is it bad…?” A very basic question, and I’m already preparing myself for the answer to be positive. (Hey, I’m not an optimist)
“Not really… Just… How would you react if you knew Shouta knows you’re his son…??”
…She’s kidding, right? RIGHT??
“…Are... are you serious…?” “Sorry…”
My hands grip my hair tightly in frustration. This is bad. This is very, very bad.
“This can’t be happening…”
What do I even do?!? He knows, and if he knows… If he knows… He’s going to hate me.
Scratch that, he hates me. Right now.
“…shi! Hitoshi, are you okay baby?? You spaced out right now…”
“Oh, uh, sorry, why-what were you saying-?” I cringe at how weird the words that come out of my mouth sound.
“I wanted to tell you about something that’s kind of related to that.” She gives me a gentle smile. “I know how nervous about this you are, and believe me he is too. The two of you need to talk about it, have a discussion, or there are bound to be some misunderstandings…”
Yeah, sure he’s ‘nervous’, he’s nervous about how to get rid of me the fastest. Not like I mind-
N-no I don’t, I don’t care at all-
You care. If you wouldn’t care we wouldn’t be having this conversation in your head.
Oh shut up.
I sigh, and after realizing she expected me to answer lamely say: “Y-yea, sure I guess…”
I mean, the sooner I have it done the sooner I can forget about all of this. He hates me, and it hurts, but I’ll just have to manage…
“Thank you Toshi, and don’t worry, it’s going to be fine…” Uh-uh, sure… “He offered if you were fine meeting him in his office on Monday before classes start.”
I nod, and after a while my brain seems to come up with a reasonable conclusion. Oh, that would make sense… He wants to stop training me, right? I mean why wouldn’t he, of course he will!! Fuck, this sucks…
So now my chances of becoming a hero are slimmer than ever. Before he told me about having a plan to train me for a few months and then getting me into his class in a joint exercise. It made sense that I wouldn’t manage to do much in the sports festival without fighting experience and with basically zero muscle. But now, that plan is FUCKED.
Ugh! Please, even If I by some miracle managed to place in like top eight, if he’s one of the people deciding about accepting me I won’t get in anyway!! Shit...
That reminds me… the sports festival is getting closer, right? …Well, it’s not like it’s even worth it for me to try, after I just went through ‘la shitshow’ it hurts to even walk, fighting is out of question (if they even allow me to join).
And I wouldn’t get in the Hero course anyway, thanks to my dad teaching it…
My life really sucks, doesn’t it?
*Sigh* Well, best to get the I-hate-you-you’re-disgusting-and-not-my-son conversation over as soon as possible…
I am so looking forward to writing the next chapter!!! Now that both of them know they just REALLY need to talk about it cause they both have the self-esteem of a washed up jellyfish :)
Chapter 19: Fcking finally!
Hitoshi and Dadzawa talk.
What the title says.
Also, this was sooo hard to write cause I love causing chaos but having to piece it back together is way harder :D
(Also I just had a panic attack but we're not gonna talk about that...)
Content warnings: self-deprecating thoughts, two hopeless idiots
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
“Mom, you really didn’t have to walk me to school, I’m not six anymore…”
“Nonsense, you’re still my baby. …and if anyone in this neighborhood tries something I won’t hesitate to gouge their eyeballs out.” She smiles, but her tone of voice indicates that she meant it seriously. (Nice.)
The whole way to the school we keep a conversation going, and even though getting to talk to her for this long is amazing it doesn’t stop the anxious knot from forming in my stomach. I can feel it getting bigger and bigger as we approach the UA gates.
…I’m really not looking forward to this…
As I say bye to my mom, she once again repeats the phrase “It will be okay” before waving and walking away. Wouldn’t be so sure about that, but *sigh* whatever you say…
Finding Aizawa-sensei’s office takes me way less time than I would have liked, and soon enough I’m knocking on the modern-looking door with his name on it. Please don’t be there, please don’t be there, please don’t be there-
The door slowly screeches open. Fuck.
He… looks about as nervous as me. Oh well. At least I’m not the only one at being anxious about this.
“…Hello Hitoshi, come on in.” He moves enough for me to walk into his office before he closes the door shut.
I nervously look around to try and distract myself, but apart from a high school photo with Mic and someone with blue floating hair there isn’t much to see here. …Wait, is that a cat mug? (I honestly should’ve expected that though)
“So…” I turn to face him as he starts talking, hesitancy apparent in his voice.
“I… Me and Chizu were talking over the phone and came to the conclusion that it would be the best if the two of us had a conversation about this,…this whole thing, so that we know where we’re standing…”
I nod, but otherwise avoid looking him in the eyes, not wanting to see the pure hatred that surely radiates from them. Both of us are unsure as to where to start, and it makes the situation even more awkward.
“I… what... what did you want to talk about…?” I try to get it over with, already bracing myself for losing my dad just after finding him.
He sighs. “Well, I talked to Vlad King, and he agrees that having you in the hero course would be logical, and offered to train you instead of me. You would eventually be able to transfer to his class…”
So it is true. He does want to get rid of me…
I try my best to ignore the stinging in my eyes as I slowly nod. “I, I understand…” I did already predict that it would happen, but it… it hurts. So much. “T-thank you for going through the trouble, s-sensei…”
Honestly you should be grateful, even though he hates you he still made sure you would be able to achieve your dream.
..I should be grateful, I know that… But… I just…
If I could choose between him loving me and fulfilling my dream of becoming a hero, I’d choose the first one without hesitation.
Even without looking up at him I can tell that his energy suddenly shifted. Is he… angry? Mad? Disappointed? Is he looking over me, wondering how he could’ve fucked up so bad in life for me to be born?
He takes a step toward me.
He hates you.
“Hitoshi, can you look at me?”
He hates you.
He hates you.
I hesitantly comply, my red rimmed eyes meeting his equally tired ones. Why does he look sad? He opens his mouth, before deciding to close it back shut and instead he-
He bows. Wha-
“I’m so, so sorry Hitoshi.”
His voice is thick with emotion. His body still in a humble bow, the head turned toward the ground. “I am so sorry for everything.”
There’s a slight tremble to his voice, almost as if he were holding back tears.
My whole body is frozen in place, the tears gathering in my eyes finding their way down my cheeks. The first sob pushes its way out of my chest.
Why is he sorry? He has nothing to be sorry for…
Doesn’t he hate me?
“D-dad..” The word escapes my mouth before I have the chance to stop it.
That single word makes him instantly turn his head to face me, still in a half-bow. It looks like he doesn’t believe I would ever call him such a thing.
“D-don’t, don’t b-be s-sorry, I…” I try to say over the quiet sobs and whimpers escaping my throat.
I try to say more, but my throat as if completely closed up, not allowing me to utter any more. But just looking into his, into my dad’s, eyes makes something break inside of me.
His expression is downcast and full of sorrow, and before I know it I’m taking a few quick steps toward him and enveloping him in a tight hug. This seems to give free reign to the flood gates, as I start fully crying into his shirt now.
“P-please, I, I-“ I wail as I ignore how his body has gone absolutely rigid, frozen in place similarly to how I’ve been just a moment ago.
“Please, D-dad, I-, p-please don’t g-go...“ Any holding back of my inner emotions is long gone as I start basically begging him not to leave.
I don’t want him to leave. I want him to stay. I want my dad to stay…
“P-please, please d-don’t leave, I- I-“ I continue as one loud sob after another accompanied by tears and visible trembling leave my body.
His body seems to slightly move in what feels like ages, and his voice is of pure bewilderment when he says: “…You…you don’t h-hate me…?”
It was almost a whisper, as if he was talking to himself. His sentence however snaps me out of my trans, and I pull away from him just enough to see his blurry outline through the tears.
“I- I, n-no…” I shake my head as my unfocused eyes try to find his.
He’s scarily quiet as I continue to sob and whimper clinging to his chest. After a moment, he finally speaks: “…why?”
“Why don’t you hate me? You have so many reasons to, Hitoshi. I…” A tear falls onto my shoulder, and this time it’s not mine.
I've long since let go of him, instead choosing to look right into his teary eyes. Why would someone even want to cry for me...?
“I have been absent your whole life, you, you didn’t do anything to deserve that, I, I was just going about my life while you and Chizu were suffering… I could’ve prevented all of this, you wouldn’t have had to live in that house, with no money, no protection and scared for life. I, H-Hitoshi, I’m so sorry, I don’t deserve having you as a-“
“That’s not true!!” I interrupt him and look into his teary eyes. “Y-you, you didn’t know, it’s not your f-fault, I don’t… I don’t hate y-you…”
At this point we’re both sitting on the floor, and as fresh tears spill from his tears he asks me: “Hitoshi… Can, can I hug you…?”
As we connect in yet another embrace I notice how gently he’s holding me, almost as if he was afraid I was going to disappear any moment. For some reason it makes me feel so loved…
Before I can relax further, I decide to voice a question that’s been on my mind for a while. “I, uh…”
“I just… I’m surprised you don’t hate me…”
He pulls away slightly to look at my face. “Why would I ever do that?” The tone of his voice makes it sound like hating me would be an impossible thing for him.
“Well, I… Y-you’re a pro hero and a teacher at UA, and, and I’m just your teenage mistake, something that wasn’t supposed to happen… I mean who would like for their fifteen year old regret to follow them around and-“
“I’m gonna stop you right there.” He gives me a serious, but gentle look. “You are not a mistake, you are not a regret and you are wanted. You are a great kid and a future hero, and I can’t even for a second imagine hating you. You matter.”
If all of the previous events weren’t enough to make me cry, this definitely would. I’m not sure for how long he held me after that, but I was for once happy the annoying voice inside of my head was staying quiet.
After a moment, his hand starts gently brushing through my hair, and I can’t help but release a content sigh as my body slumps against his. He feels safe…
If it wasn’t for the warning bell ringing, I’m pretty sure I would have fallen asleep clinging to him.
Before leaving, I hesitantly ask: “Are… you’re still going to train me, right…?”
“Of course Hitoshi.” He gives me a small smile. “I’m sorry about what I said earlier, I was mostly worried you would feel uncomfortable around me.”
“I wouldn’t.” I wave at him as I walk out the door. “Bye then ...dad.” (Oh how nice it feels to say it without all of the anxiety surrounding it...)
If someone in class notices my red rimmed eyes they don’t mention it, and as the day continues I fight to keep the big dopey smile off of my face.
I don’t think I’ve felt this happy since my wedding day with Zashi.
Before I was so sure that he would hate me, that he would want nothing to do with me, so it’s a pretty big shock that he thought the same about me. I would never even consider hating him…
As I head to 1A a pass Midnight on the hallway. She does a double take after first glancing at me and sighs dramatically. Huh?
“What it is Nemuri?”
She ignores the deadpan tone of my voice and asks: “Who are you expelling this time?”
“Don’t give me that look, why the hell are you smiling like that??? You look like a mass murderer!!" Okay first of all rude- "The last time I saw that it was when you kicked out that purple grape kid!!”
Huh. I didn’t even realize I was smiling. I don’t usually smile. (and that Mineta kid deserved it, I’m pretty sure my smile was borderline sadistic as I was expelling him)
I quickly school my expression back into my classic neutral one. “It’s nothing.” “Mhm…” …that did not sound reassuring.
However, when I try to get past her to my class she blocks the way with a suspicious smile. “Buut~ before you leave, a little birdie told me something interesting~”
…What did that damn cockatoo tell her?
“What.” She just smiles wider. “Oh come on, don’t be such a grump, now what you’re a father you should act more-“
“He told you that?!!” He’s dead to me.
“So it IS true?!? Oh my god Shouta, congratulations!!! I want pictures!!”
“I want coffee.”
She starts pushing me towards my class as if she wasn’t blocking my way a minute ago and while I’m debating how to best hide Hizashi’s body she chatters away about how she’s planning to be the best auntie ever. Fucking great.
“-and well… anyway go teach your class, but you’re telling me everything later!! You are not getting out of this!”
Yay. As if my class constantly pestering me about my son wasn’t enough…
As I shut the door behind me and walk over to the teacher’s desk several raised hands appear. Sadly, I know exactly what they want to ask about. “I am not answering any personal questions today either.”
“But sensei-“ Mina tries.
I activate my quirk, which manages to shut the whole classroom up. “Did I not make myself clear last Friday?” At least this still works on them...
Oh, I almost forgot… “Before we start, I need to deal with a very important phone call.”
I pull out my phone and call Hizashi. He answers almost immediately. “Hey Shouta, why are you calling me at this ti-“
“I’ll kill you.”
“Wait wHA-“ I hang up the phone and look into the stunned classroom. “Anyway, today we are going to go over the basics of…”
I have to say, their expressions for the next ten minutes were priceless.
On a slightly sadder note, the holidays are close and I have to travel all the way back to my very homophobic/transphobic family. They are a terrible influence on my mental health and even now I can feel it getting worse, so I don't think I will manage to write and update during the next few weeks...
I'm sorry, but I'll just be trying to survive :'(
Stay safe out there!!
Chapter 20: Auntie Nemuri
Aizawa is trying to be a good dad, Hitoshi's quirk needs training and Nemuri is.... Nemuri.
Hi!! Glad to be back :) My family was tiring, but now I think I can slowly get back to writing!
I'm expecting for this not to be longer than 25 chapters, but that can still change... we'll see...
Content warnings: self-deprecating thoughts, mentions of past traumatic events
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Lunch rolled around quickly and I managed to run away from screaming Nemuri quickly enough to meet up with Hitoshi at our usual spot.
A part of my brain still can’t believe all of this. I have a son. He’s a teenager. And he’s Hitoshi of all people. But the most unbelievable part so far was that he doesn’t hate me, that he actually wants me to be a part of his life.
The pleasant feeling in my chest stays long after he calls me ‘dad’, and for once I don’t even care to silence my class when they get too loud. If someone would be able to see through my capture scarf, they would surely notice the faint smile there. (Not like they would survive long enough to tell anyone)
However, I don’t plan to just squeeze myself into his life without changing a single thing. He and Chizu can’t keep on living in that dump. I have a few plans on what to do in the future, but that will have to wait for a while.
Right now I want to get to know them both, and I want to at least try to compensate for all of the years that I was out of the picture. I know it’s very much impossible, but I’ll do my best to make up for it.
If Hitoshi wants me as a dad, then I’ll make damn sure to be a good one.
I never want to repeat the mistake of my own father.
And speaking of… I should probably bring up the ‘getting a therapist’ thing today… Me and Chizu have talked about it, and if Hitoshi would be willing to try at least one session with Hound Dog it would be very helpful.
Lunch passed by smoothly enough, and by that I mean that we didn’t have any more crying matches or trauma revelations. Luckily Hitoshi seems to be okay with visiting Hound Dog next week (after I ensured him that I know him and he would never discriminate against him).
I have a feeling Hitoshi has had some pretty shitty experiences with therapists… At the mention of Hound Dogs quirk and people often being scared of him for it he seemingly perked up. Huh, maybe I should’ve brought that up in the beginning…
As I’m returning to the teacher’s lounge, Nemuri spots me in the hallway. Shit.
“Shoutaaaa!! You big meanie!!!” She pouts as she tries to capture me in a hug after running up to me. I’m lucky for my reflexes, or else I wouldn’t have managed to evade her.
“What.” “You promised to tell me everything about your newly acquired child!!!” She points a finger at me accusingly.
“I promised you nothing. You were the one insisting that I tell you stuff.”
“W-well… that doesn’t matter!! I’m still hurt ya know?? How did you go through the whole adoption process without telling your best friend anything?!?”
“We’re not friends.”
“Oh yes we are mister!! Don’t go acting like that emo kid in your class with that ‘we’re not friends’ bullshit!!”
*Sigh* Why… My annoyed look doesn’t have any effect on her as she continues: “I mean how hard is it to show me a photo?? Or tell me?? Can I meet them??? Oh I so wanna meet them!!”
“It’s recent, that’s why I didn’t tell you.” As loud and annoying as she can be, she is one of my friends (not that I would ever admit it to her face) and I don’t want her to feel like I was purposefully leaving her out…
“Oohh, and how old are they??”
“He’s fifteen.” Her eyebrows raise as I tell her this. At my confused look, she just laughs. “Sorry Shota, I just didn’t peg you as the type to adopt a teenager. Zashi would, but you? You, who complains about ‘annoying superpowered teenage menaces’ every day of the week?? I thought you already had your class to worry about!!”
Before I can say anything, she continues her earlier pleas: “But please, can I meet him?? I would really love to meet him!! If he’s shy like you I can tone it down, you know I can tone it down-“
“I’m not shy.”
“Ha ha, very funny. But really, I was the maid of honor at your wedding, can I meet your son at least once?? Pweeasee??” She gives me a puppy eyed look. Ehhh…
…I mean, I am going to be working on Hitoshi’s quirk with him… and it would be useful to have someone to use for him to brainwash…
However, I’ll discuss that with Hitoshi before allowing it, I want to make sure he’s comfortable with it.
“Fine… do you have time tomorrow after school?” I relent, and as she squeals and nods with an exited expression add: “But. If you go, you’ll be nice. And no getting blackmail material on me.”
“Oh don’t worry Shouta, I have enough of that already-“ “And. I will talk to him about it first. If he says he doesn’t want to yet, you will not go.”
She luckily understands and for once takes something seriously. “You can rely on me Shou~” She gives me a mock salute, and as she’s preparing to waltz away (and annoy someone else), I choose to clarify one thing for her.
“Anyway, he’s not adopted, he’s my biological son.”
She stares at me for a moment, and I choose to run at the exact moment her “WHAT?!?!!” rings through the hallway.
I’ll just take a super short nap on the roof before getting back to teaching…
“*Sigh* Hitoshi, what are you doing?”
“Uhhh… going to change for our sparring session…?”
“We’re not sparring today.”
His head whips around so fast I’m surprised he didn’t crack his neck. “Wait, why?? I-”
“Hitoshi, you have to understand that you’re still healing. Pushing yourself now will have only negative consequences in the long run.” I say in a calm voice; however, he seems to be growing more distressed by the second.
“B-but, I can do it! I’m completely fine, it was basically nothing! I-I’m not weak or-“
“And I never said you were.” I interrupt him, knowing exactly where he was going with it. “You’re not weak Hitoshi, but you need to know your limits. This isn’t healthy…”
I take a few steps towards him, and as he opens his mouth I notice the unshed tears welling up in his eyes. “Did... did I do something w-wrong…?”
And that’s all it takes for me to wrap my arms around him and let him cling to my chest. Geez, when did I become such a softie?
“You did absolutely nothing wrong. You are not weak, you are not a burden and you are wanted. You matter.”
As he sniffles into my capture scarf I gently brush through his hair with my hand and quietly add: “And I’m going to keep repeating that to you until you truly understand how amazing you are.”
Because that’s true. Hitoshi is amazing. He’s a great kid, a nice person and the perfect son. And nothing in the world can ever change that for me.
We spend a good ten minutes like that, and I would say it was very needed. “…sorry…” Hitoshi says a little sheepishly as he reluctantly lets go of me. “It’s just… I’ve been trying so hard to get everything to go back to ‘normal’, and… I just wanna forget it ever happened…”
“I know…” I say as I give him a smile reserved just for a few close loved ones. “But I promise it’ll get better with time.”
“So… what are we going to do today then?” Hitoshi asks and I, for once, purposely ignore his complete change in topic.
“Well, I was thinking we could begin working on your quirk. I know this is going to be hard for you and that you struggle with viewing your quirk positively, but your quirk needs to be as developed as your body for you to be able to become a full-fledged hero.”
“Considering how little actual muscle I have so far I wouldn’t say-“
“And no trying to dodge the conversation with self-deprecating humor either.”
As our training session progressed it soon became crystal clear that Hitoshi actually knew jack shit about his quirk.
It does make sense, the nature of the quirk made it so he was afraid to even try and use it, experimenting with it was out of the picture. Basically everything I asked about was answered with an ‘I don’t know’.
By the end of our session I already had a half-decent list of things we’ll have to try out. As my eyes skim the paper with the written list I can’t help but sigh.
Telephones, megaphones, statements instead of questions, if the answer does not completely actually answer to the question, the number of people, can he make them do things they can’t actually do, can he make them do things like speaking…
Ugh… I can already feel a headache forming and we didn't even start yet.
“Uh… Hitoshi?” “Yeah?”
“For tomorrow we’ll need someone for you to brainwash, and since I’m training you and can also erase your quirk if it somehow goes out of control we’ll need someone else.”
“Oh…” His entire posture seems to deflate and nervousness takes over the previous relaxed state.
“Don’t worry, she won’t mind. She doesn’t care about things like that.” I quickly try to reassure him.
“Oh, …so you already have someone in mind?” He still looks nervous, but also somehow interested. Maybe that’s better?
“Yea… she’s my close friend. She also already knows you’re my son and was bugging me to meet you.”
“Someone like you actually has close friends?”
“Oh shut it. Also…” I mindlessly get some loose strands of hair out of my face, “She is a lot… She did promise to ‘tune it down’, but still… if you don’t want to, she won’t come and I’ll just get someone else… she can get a little too excited…”
“…I think I’ll be fine…” He gives me a small smile. “But thank you for making sure with me… it’s nice…” I love it when I see him smile.
“SHOU I’M SO SORRY!!!!”
“I am not talking to you.”
“BUT SHOU!!! I ALREADY APOLOGIZED FIVE TIMES!!”
“You told Nemuri that I have a son, which basically amounts to telling the whole goddamn school by yelling it from a rooftop.”
I don’t stop frowning even after he dramatically slumps on the couch. I’m not actually even angry anymore (she would have probably found out from 1A sooner or later), but it’s fun to mess with him.
“I’m dying, by husband hates me, my life is FALLING APART!!! I AM IN PAIN!!!!” He makes another dramatic gesture with his hands and right after sprawls on the couch to indicate he’s ‘dead’.
“Geez, you are so dramatic…” I walk over to my (now deceased) husband and give him a quick peck on the forehead. That seems to do the trick as he immediately jumps up from the couch to suffocate me in a hug.
“SHOU I LOVE YOU!!!”
“And I would love it if you didn’t try to destroy my eardrums every day.”
I have a question. Would making the POVs switch a little bit more often than they did so far make reading confusing for you? I'm just wondering for the future chapters, since now that I included Nemuri and plan to add some more PapaMic it would make it easier for me...
Anyway, thank you for reading :))
Chapter 21: A small misunderstanding goes a long way
Nemuri misunderstands one of the things Shouta (admittedly cryptically) told her and the teachers lounge becomes a Spanish telenovela.
I think the entirety of this chapter makes it very obvious how much my mental health has been declining :D
Also the teachers lounge scene was only supposed to be like 250 words long, but somehow that turned into 2000, so there isn't much of a change in POV's :DD
Content warnings: ...crazy accusations? (this chapter isn't very trauma-heavy)
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
The teachers’ lounge feels pleasantly quiet the following morning. The sun is shining through the window and there is a generally calm atmosphere among the teachers in the room. The most noticeable one of them would be the deflated version of All Might (and no, I still can’t get over how funny he looks like outside of his muscle form - like a small gust of wind could knock him over any second).
Luckily we have a coffee machine in here (one of the very few reasons I still teach at this school), so of course I already had two this morning.
Honestly I should’ve realized sooner that the atmosphere won’t last for long, but sometimes I just prefer living in a fantasy for as long as I can.
“SHOUTA YOU BASTARD!!!”
Nemuri’s loud yell startles me so much that I almost fall down from the couch still half inside my sleeping bag (I wouldn’t be the only startled one, as Vlad almost choked on his drink).
She sounds really pissed. Fuck. What did I even do-
She kicks open the door of the room and as I notice her expression I briefly wonder if today is the day I die. She looks furious.
Even fucking All Might has quickly ‘moved himself’ (read: ‘ran’) over to the other side of the room (so he does have a self-preservation instinct after all). The rest of the teachers in the room do the same.
She marches across the room towards me, her high heels clacking menacingly on the wooden floor. “Nemuri-“
“HOW DARE YOU!! THE TWO OF US HAVE KNOWN EACHOTHER FOR OVER TEN YEARS!! OVER TEN MOTHERFUCKING YEARS!!!”
The faculty gathered in the furthest corner of the room have split expressions of absolutely not wanting to be there and absolutely wanting to hear whatever is gonna happen. I myself am in the first half.
Vlad King’s nervous whisper of “A-are you o-okay Midni-“ gets immediately drowned out by another angry yell from her.
“I TRUSTED YOU!! I THOUGHT I KNEW YOU WELL!!! AND YOU JUST GO AND DO THIS?!?!! WAS THIS ALL A LIE?!?!?!?”
Most of the staff’s faces look like they’re expecting something real juicy to come out with this, but I still have no idea what’s going on.
Zashi looks like he wants to step up and say something before she tries to murder me, but she floors us all with her next sentence. “AIZAWA SHOUTA, DID YOU CHEAT?!?!?!!”
The rest of the faculty has eyes as wide as saucers and All Might starts coughing up blood. He also breaks the deadly silence with: “Aizawa-kun, I had no idea you were married to Midnight…”
“You’re married to MIDNIGHT?!?” Vlad King yells out in utter confusion.
…If someone told me the day before that I would be yelling my sexuality out loud for the whole school to hear I would have thought they were crazy. Now I’m starting to doubt my own sanity.
This statement of course shuts everyone back down, looking as shocked as ever, and as I’m wondering how much caffeine would I have to drink to knock myself out, All Might opens his mouth again.
“A-aizawa-kun, it is okay to be homosexual… If you are not happy with your marriage to Midnight, there is always divorce and I-I’m sure you will find happiness in-“
I. Am. Going. To. Have. A. Stroke.
I take a deep breath and interrupt his condescending voice. “I am not and never was married to Nemuri, All Might, as much as I appreciate your supportiveness.”
I try to keep my voice as steady as possible as I turn to Nemuri. “I have no fucking idea what the hell you’re talking about, but the more you’re talking the more grey hairs I can feel growing on my head. Can you pLEASE GET TO THE REASON YOU’RE YELLING AT ME AT HALF PAST SEVEN IN THE MORNING IN THE TEACHERS LOUNGE??? I DON’T HAVE A FUCKING CLUE WHAT YOU MEAN!!”
“I’M NOT EXPLAINING ANYTHING UNTIL YOU ANSWER THE QUESTION. DID YOU CHEAT ON HIZASHI OR NOT?!?!?!” There are tears forming in her eyes as she yells out the last part.
The rest of the room is eerily silent until I find my voice to croak out an almost inaudible: “…what?”
…I would never cheat on him… what is she even talking about…?
Vlad King suddenly gets a little closer to us (still staying at a safe distance from Nemuri though) and joins us with the yelling. “Wait wait wait wait WAIT. YOU have been married to THAT GUY,” he points to Mic, who looks like he wants to be anywhere but here, “and THAT is why you two have been having so many ‘PRIVATE MEETINGS’ IN YOUR OFFICE?!?”
“Oh get your head out of the gutter, we never-“ “This is A SCHOOL-“ “SHOUTA DID YOU OR NOT I WILL-“ The room soon becomes a combination of several people screaming at each other. (so much for being mature adults)
Suddenly we’re all interrupted by an inhumanly loud voice, belonging to no one else but my husband. “EVERYBODYYY SHUT THE FUCK UUUUPPPP!!!!”
Everyone immediately moves to cover their eardrums, and afterwards there’s a tense silence in the room. He slowly steps to the center of the room and takes several deep breaths before opening his mouth again.
“Everyone except Nemuri and Shouta, OUT.”
“But Mic, this is-“ Vlad tries to meekly argue, only to be cut off when Zashi gives him a sharp look with his toxic green eyes. “OUT.”
No one tries to argue with him after that.
As the present staff speedwalks/runs out of the room (All Might looking the most frightened of them all), Zashi closes the door behind them before turning back to us, the hard look still on his face. In that moment it catches up with me that Nemuri actually accused me of cheating on him. …he wouldn’t think it’s true, right…? I would never…
He stops right in front of me, and as I lock eyes with him he smiles and envelopes me in a gentle hug. I let out a breath and only now allow myself to partially relax into his embrace.
“…I would never cheat on you Zashi.” He just hums back. “I know. Don’t worry, I trust you Shou.”
We separate with him giving me a quick peck on the lips and turn towards Nemuri.
Hizashi breaks the silence with a question. “Nemuri… what were you talking about?”
Luckily she calmed down enough not to yell this time. “Hizashi you said it yourself! You two have a son and-“
“Well technically he’s only Shouta’s son…” Hizashi interrupts her in a sheepish sounding voice. Well that’s an issue I’ll want to talk with him about another time, after we manage to deal with the clusterfuck right in front of us that is.
…I was worried he could be feeling left out… but back to the issue at hand.
“Yes, exactly! He’s Shouta’s biological son and he’s fifteen!! You and Shouta are celebrating the 16th anniversary of the day you started dating in two weeks!! Even if the kid is probably fifteen and something, it does NOT add up. Do you see what I’m pointing at?!?”
…There’s no way. Me and Hizashi officially started dating about three months after Chizu left… It is very much impossible for that to have happened…
Wait a minute.
I think I figured it out. Oh my god. This is so stupid.
I slap a hand over my face and release a loud groan. “Nemuri.”
“Yes?” “Did you seriously forget that it takes 9 months for a baby to develop in the womb before it’s born?”
…If someone asks me why I have grey hair at 31 tHIS IS WHY.
“Oh my god.” Nemuri starts looking more horrified by the second. “Shouta, I’m, oh my-“
And for some unknown reason, Hizashi seems to find the whole situation funny and starts laughing out loud. Me giving him a glare makes him cackle even more. Ugh.
“Hizashi this isn’t funny.” “-I KNOW, I KNOW, BUT JUST-BWHAHAHAH-“ He flops on the couch with another laugh that is only interrupted by me activating my quirk.
“Shouta…” I turn to face Nemuri, who is currently sporting a very sheepish expression. Or right. I’m still pissed at her for causing me to feel like in some crazy Spanish telenovela and almost giving me a heart attack.
“Shouta I’m so-“ “Sorry for yelling at me, assuming I was a cheater and having the rest of the staff make crazy assumptions that resulted in me having to yell out my sexuality publicly?!?” “…yes…”
As my angry morning glare is still on her, she goes into an ashamed ramble. “No but really, I am so, so sorry. I never should’ve assumed something like that and even then I should’ve chosen to confront you alone instead of in a room full of people. I’m really sorry, and I-“
She nervously tugs on her hair. “I know this doesn’t excuse what I did at all, but I haven’t been able to sleep recently and haven’t been thinking straight at all, and I just… I thought about how much I thought I knew you and how Hizashi would feel about any of this and- and your child… I, I know how much things like that shaken a child’s view of the world and…”
Right, Nemuri’s parents divorced because of these reasons when she was just nine…
She then comes closer to me and spreads her arms in an inviting gesture. “Again, I’m so sorry and I’ll never do anything like that again.” “I sure damn hope so.” I grumble before joining her in the hug, Mic following soon after.
“You’re an idiot.” “I know Shouta. I’ll explain it all to the rest of the staff.”
After a few pleasant minutes, Mic is the first to break the silence with a cheerful sentence. “Well, at least this wasn’t a boring morning!”
“I would take a boring morning over this shitshow.” I mumble under my breath.
“Uh.., Shouta, about how I was originally supposed to meet your son today…” “Yes?”
She nervously plays with a strand of her hair. “Maybe it would be better for me to wait until tomorrow… I need to get some decent sleep so that my sleep deprived brain doesn’t do something stupid again.”
I really do not envy the side effects of her quirk, I can’t imagine how I would live if I couldn’t even sleep properly. Though my dry eye isn’t much better.
“Of course, that doesn’t matter.” “And I’ll buy you a new coffee machine as an apology.”
“You’re completely forgiven.” I give her a little smile, which she reciprocates. (But seriously, if part of your apology is to buy me a coffee machine, we good.)
“I’ll get going to find the rest of the teachers and beg Nedzu to delete the camera footage that he was probably laughing over for the last twenty minutes.” Oh right, I forgot about that damn rat. Shit.
And with a little wave she waltzes away to the door. Once she’s gone, I turn to my (admittedly gorgeous) husband and allow myself to relax as we intertwine our fingers.
“You know,” Zashi gazes into my eyes with a loving expression, “Nemuri did remind me of something…”
“Oh yea?” I decide to play along. “And what would that be?”
“The anniversary of the day you asked me out is getting near~“ He says and I can’t help but chuckle at the memory.
At that point I have asked Hizashi out to multiple dates, but he somehow kept missing the hint and thought they were just friend hangouts. I got fed up with him as he asked me if I’m dating anyone and yelled “you, you fucking idiot!!” with a red face.
(It was embarassing at the time, but now it's fun to look back to)
Suddenly, as the two of us are standing close in the deserted teachers’ lounge, only inches apart, it feels like the most romantic place in the world to be. Soon enough, we decide to move even closer and seal our lips together.
‘God, I love this idiot…’ Is the only coherent thought in my head and the small moment feels like it lasts forever.
It’s no surprise that neither of us notice the door opening. We do however hear the voice of my number one problem child.
“Aizawa-sensei, Iida sent me to ask about the noiSEAAAAAHH IMSOSORRYPLEASEDON’TEXPELMEEEE-”
Me and Zashi jump apart as if we were electrocuted, and I immediately turn towards Midoriya, who looks like he’s probably planning out the details of his funeral.
I take a few quick steps towards him, ignoring my own burning face. He gulps nervously and slowly inches towards the exit. Oh not so fast.
“Midoriya.” “Y-yes s-sensei-?-“ “You saw nothing.” “O-of c-course, s-sensei-.”
Even as he sprints down the corridor as far away as he can get, I think if I consider his (very unimpressive) lying skills, I don’t think he’s gonna be able keep his mouth shut for long. Especially after his friends notice his nervousness around me and start interrogating him about it.
Well, if the whole day is gonna be like this morning, I’ll just take Tamaki Amajiki’s advice and go home.
Even during lunch with Hitoshi I can still feel my head pounding from what I dubbed ‘my last and final reason to fuck this job and become a vigilante’.
“-Oh and we’ll have to move the quirk training over to tomorrow – we’ll concentrate on strategy planning instead, as there were some unexpected …complications.”
“Does it have anything to do with the noise coming out of the teachers’ lounge in the morning? It deadass sounded like you were trying to murder someone – I heard both your and Mic’s voices.”
“…how clearly did you hear it?”
“Uhh, I mean considering I was four floors above you…”
…well, and there goes my dignity.
All Might is a little confused, but he's got the spirit.
Midoriya is probably dead if he tells anyone. But I'm pretty sure he knows that much.
Chapter 22: Sorry, who???
Midnight finds out who exactly is Aizawa's son, Shouto is being Shouto and Hitoshi has a serious conversation with his dad.
Okay, it's the end of semester and finals are killing me right now, so it's probably gonna take me longer to post the next chapter :D (my history teacher would probably spontaneously combust if she read my rough draft for my speech)
Anyway, I found out that the combination of trauma + anxiety + finals together creates a great sense of humor, so enjoy the chapter :)
Content warnings: mentions of alcohol, self-deprecating thoughts (since we have some Hitoshi POV there)
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
After finding out of the blue that Shouta has been hiding a fifteen-year-old teenager somewhere, I didn’t think he could manage to surprise me further.
“…your son’s name is what now??”
…guess I was wrong.
“I asked you not to freak out.” “How can I not freak out when Shinsou Hitoshi, the tall, sweet little cinnamon roll from my history class is yOUR FUCKING SON?!??”
There’s just way too many questions here, and there is only so much I can do to stop myself from jumping into conclusions.
“How the hell did you even- wait isn’t his mother that hot purple-haired lady in the brown coat that I saw out of the window walking him to school this week?!?” “What do you mean ‘hot purpl-‘”
“How did you manage to score with someone as hot as her-“ “Excuse me-“ “Oh you know exactly what I mean, you little sleeping bag bound gremlin.”
Even though it may appear we’re arguing, it’s actually very far from that. This is just exactly how our friendship operates.
“You’re exhausting.” He masks his fond smile (I know you’re smiling Shouta you can’t hide it from me) with a huff and buries the lower half of his face in his capture weapon.
“You know you love me!” I give him a cheeky smile. “Back to the point at hand though, Shinsou Hitoshi??” “…what about it.”
“…you know, now that I think about it, it does make a lot of sense. You both try to act all tough and grumpy, but you’re cinnamon rolls with soft hearts on the inside~!!“
“I’m not soft-“ “Are you sure Aizawa Shouta, married man with a kid and several spoiled cats? Are you sure Aizawa Shouta, the guy who still doesn’t want to admit he loves his new class and would totally die for them??”
“…” He huffs once more and instead chooses to pour another black coffee down his throat.
“Hey Shouta?” “What.” “How do you even have a kid? I mean in the teachers’ lounge yesterday you made it very obvious you were gay-“ “And whose fault is that?” “…right, sorry about that.”
He looks over to me and, after downing the rest of his coffee, asks: “You’re not gonna leave me alone until you know, huh?”
I nervously move my hands through my hair again. “Well, if you really want to I can, I just… I find it kind of weird that you suddenly told me you have a fifteen-year-old biological kid. Like, it came out of nowhere, did you not know or something?” “…”
“…I only found out last week…“ “WHAT THE- LAST WEEK?!?!” …okay, I did not expect that. But like seriously, LAST WEEK???
I take a deep breath and stand up from my spot on the couch next to Shouta to go to open one of my locked drawers. I pull out a half-full bottle of red wine. “…where the hell did you get a bottle of wine?” “Same place you got your son, now shut up. I need this if I wanna be able to continue our conversation.”
As he sees me pour myself some into a mug with an ‘I’m too old for this shit’ expression, he chuckles. “You’re being dramatic.”
“Alright mister smarty-pants, I already regret asking, but how did you even ‘aquire’ a son?” “Well Nemuri, if a man and a woman love each other very much-“ “Shouta you’re GAY, THAT’S WHY I WAS ASKING!!!”
“Okay, I was drunk!” “How drunk do you have to be to- to bang a girl instead of a guy?!?!” …Okay that’s kind of funny now that I think about it.
I shouldn’t be too surprised to eventually hear myself laughing at the absurdity of the situation, but I never would have thought Shouta would be laughing with me. “Finally loosening up a bit?” I slap him playfully on the shoulder and he gives me a light chuckle. “Maybe I am.”
“*Sigh* I didn’t know how much I needed this…” He turns his head to look back at me. “I can’t remember the last time the two of us had such an entertaining conversation.”
“Yeah, maybe I could invite you and Hizashi out for a drink sometime…” “That would be nice, thanks.” The conversation comes to a stop, but neither of us move away, instead enjoying the comfortable silence.
“Speaking of drinking…” He breaks the silence as he notices me finishing my drink, “Are you sure it’s a good idea to drink before teaching?” “Oh please, today I have sex-ed with class 1A. This is very much needed.”
He chuckles again. “I still don’t believe you teach that, must be hilarious.” “Yeah, remind me to mention you as an example not to get drunk at random parties and forget to use a condom.”
“…how did you know that was what happened?” “I took a wild guess.”
“Oh also, don’t forget about today afternoon.” “Wouldn’t dream of it.”
Then something I probably should’ve realized sooner occurs to me. “Wait, you want me to come with you after school, at the time you normally train your protégé and also your son Hitoshi.” “Yes?”
“…you’re gonna use me as a training dummy, aren’t you?” “…maybe.”
…why is Kayama-sensei staring at me?
It’s been thirty-four minutes from the start of the class (I’ve been counting) and I caught her ‘discreetly’ looking at me at least a dozen times. It’s starting to creep me out.
I didn’t do anything, right? …that’s not it. But then what is it??
Wait a minute. What if it’s connected to that yelling that was heard from the teachers’ lounge yesterday? I did hear both his and Mic’s voices in there. What if it was about me??
Ugh, this is no good, I’m only getting more and more nervous in here. I’ll ask dad about it after this class, it’s gonna be lunch break anyway.
Well, now at least that’s over. I sigh to myself as I walk through the corridor, slowly heading towards mine and dad’s usual spot. (I chuckle to myself after calling him dad in my head again)
“...Todoroki-kun that sounds crazy-“
“Nothing sounds crazier than Aizawa-sensei having a 15yo son, but here we are.”
...what an interesting conversation. At least it would be if it wasn’t about ME. HOW THE FUCK DOES ANYONE KNOW????
I (very discreetly) stop and turn around to walk slightly behind the guy who looks like a popsicle and his broccoli friend.
“I am telling you, Aizawa-sensei is married to Midnight.”
...okay, I’m just gonna say it. His students are really nosy. And also very wrong.
“Y-you can’t know that!” “And he has a secret lovechild with her.” “*Sigh* I really don’t understand where you want to go with this…”
“Wait, do you know something?” “N-no!! I have n-no i-idea what y-you’re talking about, g-gotta go, bye!!”
At some point during that sentence, I slowly stop walking behind them and separate myself to walk into a different hallway. Whoever that lollipop-colored student was, he sounded batshit crazy. …and I’m still shocked that he called me a ‘secret lovechild’.
…well, that’s one more thing to ask dad about, because from WHERE do they even KNOW that he has a SON???
I asked him about it at lunch, but in no way did I expect to find out about Mic crashing their car into a lamppost after finding out I’m his husbands son and two of dad’s students being there at that moment.
“Oh, and there’s also Nemuri.” “Kayama-sensei?” “Yes, that yelling you heard yesterday was actually her assuming that because I have a son I cheated on Hizashi and I had to yell out that I’m gay for the entire faculty to hear.” The defeat in his voice is all I need to know that it’s true.
“…that sounds …unpleasant.” “I guess that’s one way to put it. The damn rat had a field day.”
He ruffles my hair (where I definitely did not lean my head into his hand, no, not even a little) and adds: “Don’t worry, I have it handled. Also… I wanted to ask you about something today…”
His face shifts into an uneasy expression as he looks me in the eyes. “I know all of this is still very new for all of us, but I just wanted to ask…what, what do you think about my husband, Hizashi?” His nervous gaze is still locked onto me as he finishes his sentence.
“I…” …I don’t think I ever had the time to properly think this over…
I don’t think I know… What does he mean to me?
He senses my hesitance, and quickly follows with another statement. “Hitoshi, please, look at me.” I do. “You don’t in any way have to decide what he means to you, and you don’t have to feel pressured to give me a certain answer. Whatever he may mean to you, whether you’d consider him a teacher, sort of uncle, parental figure or someone you don’t want in your life at all, that is all okay.”
I take in a shaky breath. “…so, if, if I don’t know yet, then…” “Then that is okay.” “…okay.”
I really have no idea of what ‘role’ I would want Mic to have in my life… But I really don’t want to spiral into another existential crisis right now, so… “Uh, I think I’ll have to think it over today, and I’ll tell you tomorrow…” “Okay. Don’t rush yourself, there is no ‘right’ or 'correct' answer.”
I nod, and shuffle a little closer to lean on him. After a brief moment of contemplating, I decide to voice a question that first inhabited my brain a few minutes ago. “Does… Mic doesn’t like me.”
It comes out more of a statement than a question, but oh well. As I look up to see his face, I notice his expression, which is now a combination of sadness and worry. “Hitoshi… why would you think that?”
His voice is full of gentleness that I’m not used to, and I look back onto the floor in front of us instead of keeping eye contact.
“I… well the, the two of use aren’t even related – I’m just some kid to him - and he’s had to deal with this whole thing where I basically forced myself into your home-“ “You fainted and I carried you into the house.” “-a-and then threw up in the middle of the night, where he had to sit next to me and then help me as if I was some baby an-“ “Hitoshi.”
He gently brushes his hand on the side of my face and crouches a little lower as to look me in the eyes. “I assure you, you’re not ‘just some kid’ to him. And even if you were, he is still a hero. The last thing he would be doing at that moment is be annoyed at you.”
He gives me a small smile. “He cares about you kid. He’s just as worried as you about what you’ll think. He didn’t want to seem like he was trying to force himself into your life, hence my earlier question. Honestly, I don’t think he ever could get annoyed with you.”
“…okay.” “Okay.” He reaches out to ruffle my hair again, and this time I can’t help but lean into his touch again.
His mere presence is an incredibly stable influence on my emotions. ...I'm really glad to have him as a dad.
Papamic + Shinson bonding moment incoming!!!
Also I feel like Aizawa and Kayama are just that type of besties that constantly argue and bicker together, but would kill for each other, and I just find it so sweet :)
Chapter 23: You two are friends?
Nemuri gets to meet Hitoshi and the two of them get along surprisingly well. Later Hitoshi has yet another existential crisis.
Writing the banter between Nemuri and Aizawa is super entertaining :D
Content warnings: self-doubting thoughts (I think that's all, but sure let me know!)
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
“…You’re friends with Midnight??” The question it out of my mouth before I can stop it, but judging by her expression she doesn’t seem to particularly mind.
“We’re not friends.” “We’re best friends!!” She doesn’t look like she minds his cold demeanor at all, and is resting her arm on his shoulder (she’s pretty damn tall in those heels) while completely disregarding his expression. It looks hilarious.
“We actually went to high school together; he was just as grumpy back then as he is now!” “And you are still just as annoying.” She laughs him off as if she’s already heard that a hundred times and takes a few steps towards me.
“Well, nice to officially meet you as Shouta’s son Hitoshi!!” I don’t think I’ll ever understand where she takes all that enthusiasm… But she does sound a little different now than how she is in classes. Kind of subdued. I wonder why…
Oh, I was supposed to answer, fuck- “N-nice to meet you too…?” Wow. Very smooth Hitoshi. That sounded very natural.
Her smile stays just the same though, and she excitedly continues. “When I found out I was so surprised you know?” “’Surprised’ doesn’t cover it-“ Dad interrupts her, but is just as quickly interrupted back when she continues like he never said anything.
“I mean I’ve been friends with him for so long and suddenly he pulls out a teenage son out of nowhere!!”
He just huffs. “We’re not friends.”
At this I can’t help but ask. “But… didn’t you say she was a really good friend of yours when you proposed the idea to me…?”
Dad’s horrified “uhhhh” gets drowned out by a squeal that loud that Mic would be jealous of it. “YOU SAID WE’RE FRIENDS!!!!” “I did not.” “YOU DID!!!! OHMYGOD THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFEEEE!!!!”
…Well, this sure as hell is gonna be one interesting training session.
Considering the fact that we were concentrating on my quirk and what it can do today, it went pretty smoothly. We did have to stop a few times, since I’m still not fully comfortable with my quirk, but I kinda expected that anyway.
I was really surprised by Midnight. She was like a whole new person outside of her hero persona. She was really patient, and didn’t care at all about what my quirk could do to her. It was a pleasant break from constantly having others see your quirk as some dangerous weapon.
Still, it was kinda embarrassing. I mean, just who is even afraid of their own quirk? If Dad didn’t notice, I probably would’ve tried to ignore it - which would definitely not end well. Both of them were really supportive about it though. It was nice.
Oh, and most importantly, we found out a ton of stuff out about my quirk that I had no idea I could do before (not like I really got to properly test it out on others before though…).
“This was great! I’m really glad I got to spend some time with you, Hitoshi!” Her cheerful voice snaps me out of my thoughts.
“I, yeah… T-thank you for letting me practice my quirk on you...”
“Oh it was no big deal!” She laughs. “You know you’re such a sweet kid! I’m sure you’ll get into the hero course in no time!”
That sentence makes me crack a smile as well. A part of my brain still can’t believe how supportive the people around me are. “Thank you Ms. Kayama. It means a lot.”
“Oh no need to be so formal, I’m off duty! You can call me Auntie Nemuri!! …if you want to of course!” She adds after my hesitancy, but the warmth in my chest stays all the same.
I didn’t use to like her at first, but now that I can see more than just the hero persona she puts on for the public, she is such a sweet person…
“I’ll have to make sure to bring you something tomorrow! What type of candy do you like?? I’m going to be the best auntie ever!!”
‘Auntie Nemuri’, huh? It’s got a nice ring to it…
As me and Shouta re walking through the corridor after the training session (where I finally got to officially meet Hitoshi!! I mean I knew him before but this was meeting him as Shouta’s son!!!) I can’t help but tease him.
“He looks so much like you – just add a capture weapon on top and there’s no way people aren’t going to notice the resemblance.”
“We don’t look THAT similar…”
“Say whatever you want, but the moment you stand next to him to introduce him to your class, Todoroki’s gonna freak out big time.”
“Hmph…” He buries his face in his capture weapon, a signal that I won.
At that point I considered just leaving him be, but it wouldn’t be me if I didn’t make a move to tease him one more time.
“He was such a sweetie… You’ll have to be careful Shouta, or I might just steal your own kid from you~“
“I thought you weren’t interested in having kids.”
“I thought so too, but Hitoshi must have some secret hidden quirk, cause I’d sure as hell make an exception for him.”
He smiles and chuckles. “Yeah… yeah, he’s like that…”
Well today sure was …something.
I’m not that used to not feeling that familiar ache in my muscles after training with dad, but today I’ve got a mild headache instead. It’s different... but just as annoying. Oh well.
Right now I’m lying in my bed trying to sleep, but I just can’t shake the feeling that there was something that I wanted to think about today…
I mean, the weird staring from Kayama-sensei (…Auntie Nemuri…?) makes sense now, so what could it be? …wait.
‘What does Hizashi mean to you?’
That’s the thing. I don’t know. And here I was thinking that if I just wait until I get home my brain is just gonna miraculously find out. Ugh.
I roll onto the other side and make another annoyed sound. I mean, I’m not exactly the one with the most experience when it comes to loving relationships (my mom being the only one who gave a shit about me for the most of my life), so how am I even supposed to know?!?
I shortly contemplate just googling it, but quickly abandon that idea. I’m not that pathetic. Or maybe I am just for the fact that I seriously considered it.
Well, he definitely means something to me. At least that much know, but can I tell what he means to me? No.
I mean he probably wouldn’t want you in his life anyway cause you’re just an annoying burden and he’s not related to you any
- Shut up. We even asked dad about this already and he confirmed that that’s not the case. Just do me a favor and be quiet for once.
…am I talking to myself now? Great. Fucking great. Next thing I know I’ll be discussing this over a cup of tea with a pink imaginary elephant named Gary.
*Sigh* …anyway. This would probably be much easier to figure out if I knew what he thinks about me, but for that I would have to talk to him. The mere thought of that makes me want to climb into a garbage can and live there with a family of feral raccoons.
This situation feels oddly familiar to the one where me and my dad were tiptoeing around each other, too scared to do anything while thinking the other hates them. I still remember how mom told me afterwards ‘It was hilarious and sad at the same time. If the two of you just communicated it would’ve been solved immediately.’
…wait a minute. Maybe that’s what I need to do. Communicate. It sounds so simple, but really this is what I was trying to avoid here – as anyone in close proximity of me could notice, I’m not very good when it comes to social interactions.
But yeah, I should take some time to talk to him about it. Well, that’s a problem for tomorrow me...
('Tomorrow Hitoshi' can be heard cursing him out in the distance)
A bonus that didn't wanna fit anywhere in the fanfic:
Aizawa: You know, I always wondered... if you're a lesbian, why is your costume designed to appeal to the, how did you call it, 'the male gaze'?
Midnight: Well, my dear Shouta, have you ever tried to fight with a boner?
Shouta: *spits out his coffee*
(I headcannon Midnight as a lesbian, sue me :D)
Chapter 24: 1+1 nervous wrecks located
Hitoshi and PapaMic interacting. Dadzawa is plotting.
I'm just trying to post this as fast as I can before the school cuts off the wifi for the night (which sucks for me because insomnia), so I'm sorry if you find any errors. I'll go over it later :D
Content warnings: harmful thoughts, dangerously low self-confidence (from all attending members)
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
I have been thinking about this for quite some time, but it’s not until I’m sitting on the couch cuddled up with Zashi and out cats in our small house that I decide to let him in on it. “Zashi…”
“Yes honey?” “I have an …idea.”
“Okay, now I’m not sure if I should be exited or terrified.” “Hizashi!”
He laughs me off, but noticing my serious expression he quickly schools his expression back to normal. “Okay, so what is it?”
“Well, we both decided that we’re going to do something about Hitoshi’s and Chizu’s living situation, but were unsure what to actually do…”
“Wait, do you have an idea???”
“I do, and if you agreed it would go like this…”
“sHOUTA THAT IS AN AMAZING IDEA!!! I LOVE IT!!” I smile at his exited voice volume: “I’m glad you like my idea.”
“Wait a minute though…” He looks lost in thought for a moment, but by worries are quickly dissipated when he finishes the sentence. “I think your plan would have a pretty big gap in one place, but I have just the idea!!”
“Hizashi I love you.” “Aww thanks you big yellow burrito!”
I give him a quick peck on the lips and add: “But for the love of god never call me a big yellow burrito ever again.”
The following morning I’m standing back in front of my dad’s office and can feel a wave of déjà vu passing through me. This really is a similar situation to a few days ago.
“Oh, hey Hitoshi.” He opens the door with a startled expression, obviously not expecting me there. (I’m pretty sure if someone else tried to distract him from his morning nap he would be already getting the papers for expelling ready, but hey, being his kid has got its perks)
“Hey…” I give him an awkward wave. “I wanted to ask a small favor.”
“And that would be…?” “Does, does Mic have free time over lunch?”
My awkward smile seems to be the last piece of the puzzle, because he humms in understanding and replies: “Uhh, he has to be in the dining hall to keep an eye on the students…” But as he notices my crestfallen expression, he quickly adds: “But I’m pretty sure I can make him switch with me.”
“T-that would be great. I really need to talk with him about something…” “No problem kid, I’ll make sure to tell him now, that way the two of you will be equally nervous.” He gives me a toothy grin and waves me goodbye as I begin my way up the staircase into my own classroom.
As I enter the teachers’ lounge, Hizashi immediately turns to me with a smile plastered to his face. “What’s up Shou! Thought you’d still be curled up in your sleeping bag, do you want something?”
“Yea. Hitoshi wants to talk to you during lunch.” At that, the little hint of playfulness in his voice quickly disappears and his expression grows more serious. “Okay… but I have to be in the dining hall today-“
“I’ll switch with you.” “Okay, okay.” He takes off his glasses to look me in the eyes. “Do you have any idea what the little listener might wanna talk about?”
“Actually I do.” I plop myself on the couch right next to him. “Yesterday, I kind of asked him a question…” “About what?” “About what he thinks about you. As in, what he sees you as.”
His eyes minutely widen as my sentence is enough to shut him up for a few seconds. “Ahem, well… I’m not really sure if this was the best time to ask him… The little listener as enough on his plate already…”
I sigh. “Yeah, I know… I was mostly just interested, but he seems to have taken the question very seriously. Though him wanting to talk with you directly looks like a good sign. It’s always good to communicate instead of avoiding the issue for as long as you can.”
He smirks. “Yea, you have a lot of experience with doing that, don’t you Shou?” “Oh shut up.”
Even though he’s trying hard not to change his lighthearted demeanor from earlier, his brain is going wild. I can tell when he does that.
“Zashi.” “Uh, yea?” “Don’t worry about it so much, I can hear your brain from here. It’s gonna be fine.”
He chuckles. “You know, I told you the same thing the day you and Hitoshi finally talked it out. And you didn’t believe me either.” “Yeah… but it was fine in the end.”
“I knooow, it’s just…” He nervously touches up his hair. “You two are actually related, and you’re also his favorite hero. Even a blind person would notice how much he was looking at you with that look.”
“Like I said, don’t worry so much.” I give him a (hopefully) supporting smile. “I’ll get takeout from that favorite restaurant of yours today.” He smirks.
“Heh, what a charmer~“
“Just be yourself, its gonna be fine.” “Oh really, be myself, with MY personality??”
“Jeez, he and Nemuri clicked surprisingly well and she’s loud. You’ll be fine…” At least I think...
As I sit in the filled classroom and try to listen to Ectoplasm’s lecture, my eyes are trained on the clock. Jeez, why can’t time just pass slower, just this once?? It feels like the clock sped up just to spite me.
I’m the one who initiated this, but I have no idea what I’m gonna say.
Maybe, just maybe an idea will form in my head by the end of the lecture…
It very much did not. Fuck.
As I’m heading to the usual spot where me and dad eat lunch, my brain starts to wonder. Wait, are we even supposed to meet him there? What if we’re supposed to be going to his office?? Or dad’s?? Or what if-
My ‘what if’s are interrupted by his booming voice. “Hey little listener!!”
He’s sitting on the stairs in the usual spot. Huh, I guess I shouldn’t have worried so much…
On first glance, he looks as happy and enthusiastic as ever, but if I look closely I can see the way his smile doesn’t quite reach his eyes or the way his shoulders are forcefully pushed into a seemably relaxed position.
He’s nervous. Well, that makes two of us.
“H-hey. Thank you for meeting me here…” I reply nervously as I go sit down on the other side.
“No worries! Shouta switched lunch duty with me, so I’m as free as a bird!” He continues with his ‘enthusiastic’ demeanor. …he’s probably trying to lighten up the mood, isn’t he?
He hands me one of the two lunchboxes on his side. “There you go little listener, straight from the chef!” My thank you is a cue for him to continue. “I heard from Shouta that you like my cooking!”
“Y-yeah, I do. It tastes really good.” “I’m glad to hear that!”
I really have no idea how to start this conversation and not just agree or disagree with what he’s talking about… Luckily he begins the conversation for me.
“So…” His expression looses some of the previous playfulness. “Shouta told me that you wanted to talk about something with me?”
“Yeah... uhh... sorry, I just, I’m not very good at this…” I really need to work on my presentation, cause right now I’m getting second hand embarrassment from MYSELF.
“That’s okay little listener, just… say what’s on your mind.”
In my mind there is absolute CHAOS. But okay.
“Well… yesterday, dad asked me about what you m-mean to me, like, what I see you as… and it got me thinking… that I really do not know…”
Really? You’ve been thinking about this for a whole day and your results are NOTHING???
You useless little piece of-
“Well, I think that’s okay.” Huh??-
“W-what??” “I think you don’t have to know.” He gives me a soft expression.
“I mean, this entire situation is very new to you, and it’s all super confusing for all of us. So I think it’s okay if you don’t know. We can figure it out together.”
He locks eyes with me and gives me another smile. But this one is different. It’s not his usual enthusiastic Present Mic smile. This one feels more… real. I think this is a Yamada Hizashi smile.
I break the eye contact to look at the floor. “…okay.” I whisper it so quietly that I hardly hear myself, but he still registers it and chuckles softly.
We stay silent for a while longer, but then he shifts in his seat and asks me: “Hey, little listener?” “Hm?” “Can you look at me please?”
I raise my eyes from the old stain on the floor and meet eyes with him. This time when he speaks, there’s a hint of nervousness in his voice. “Did you, did you by any chance think that I would want nothing to do with you or-“
He stops himself mid-sentence as my averted gaze, which has started staring at the floor again, tells him everything he needed to know. “Oh Hitoshi…”
He lowers his head a little to try and get to my eye level. “I would never, and I mean never, think anything even close to that. You’re a great kid, little listener.” This makes me hesitantly look up and meet his eyes once more.
He continues in an even softer voice. “And there is nothing that would make me happier to get a chance to be a part of your life. If you let me of course.”
This startles a chuckle out of me. “’Let you’? I’d be overjoyed to even know you want to!”
“Careful there little listener, we’ve gotta work on that confidence of yours!” He comments playfully as the previously uneasy atmosphere around us lifts into a much lighter one.
I give him a small laugh. “Yeah, I guess so…
The rest of the lunch period is filled with conversation as Mic dramatically explains to me how he and dad started dating – and apparently they were absolute walking disasters. Also, every time he makes me laugh, I notice him sporting a particularly soft expression out of the corner of my eye. It makes my chest feel nicely warm...
The warning bell rings just as he was wrapping up one of his crazy stories, and we get up to walk back to our classes.
“I don’t even know why I was freaking out about this so much…” I sigh - mostly to myself, but Mic catches it and chuckles. “Oh don’t worry, you weren’t the only one, and this situation is not one you’d see very often…”
“Yea, I think that made it pretty hard for me, since like… I was looking for a word to describe this-“ I vaguely gesture to the both of us. “This. And none of the words like dad, uncle, friend, or a stranger seemed to quite fit…”
“Yeah, makes sense. Don’t worry about how to label it though, the important thing is that you’re happy!” He flashes his impossibly bright smile again.
Before I manage to overthink it too much, I take a few steps forward and envelope him in a quick (and pretty awkward) hug.
For a second he just goes completely still and as my brain starts wondering if I maybe shouldn’t have done this, he says in an impossibly small voice: “…I think I’m gonna cry…”
He does hug me back though, and now I can say that his hugs are about as warm as his smiles.
As we’re departing, the second bell rings. “Alright, now hurry back to your class Hitoshi! See ya later!!”
“Uhh, don’t you also have a class to teach right now?”
“Wait… OH FUCK-“
This chapter was mostly focused on Hitoshi and Mic, but the conversation in the beginning of the chapter is super important too! ...or will be... :))
Chapter 25: Assumptions
Midnight encounters the conspiracy theorist of 1A, Hitoshi gets let on 'the plan' and Chizu just wants some good ol' financial stability :)
My school is currently closed down thanks to a snowstorm! Yay!! :D
Content warnings: Angy Dadzawa, slight paranoia, considering of less 'legal' money making options
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Having to teach Shouta’s Class 1A first thing in the morning is bad enough, but today I have a feeling they’re about to exceed all my expectations. And definitely not in a good way…
“Midnight-sensei?” “Yes, Todoroki?” Well, at least this little emo mess is fine. He’s way too stoic and quiet to ask me any weird question…
“Are you by any chance married to Aizawa-sensei?”
“T-todoroki-kun?!?!” Midoriya splutters from his seat. “Y-you can’t just say that!!”
“Why not? It’s just a question…” Right, and the infirmary is just a place
(where I'm about to send someone)…
“W-well,” I take the attention back on myself to try and fix this mess. “I have no idea where that question came from, but sorry to disappoint. Me and Shouta are not married.”
Don’t get me wrong, Shouta is a great friend, but dead-looking yellow caterpillars aren’t exactly my type.
“Then why do you call him by his first name?” Can’t he just let a lesbian live in peace?!?!
Luckily I don’t have to answer that question, since Midoriya and several other people from the class (almost physically) stop him from asking anything more – though he still looks like he has a bajilion other questions about this particular topic. I just hope this class ends quickly, and also - I NEED to tell this to Shouta!
“He said WHAT???” “I know right?!?!” “And in front of the whole class??” “YES. It was the worst!!!”
Me and Shouta sound like two gossiping grannies on a park bench as we slowly eat our lunch in the teachers’ lounge. Though right now we’re concentrating more on the gossiping and less on the eating.
Also, Shouta is a traitor.
After I told him about all of the events I’ve been subjected to today and expected a bit of sympathy, the idiot just started laughing like he’s never heard anything funnier in his life.
“It’s not funny…” I grumble as he finally seems to stop looking like Ms. Joke used her quirk on him.
“It is.” “It’s not.” “It is.”
“What is?” We’re interrupted by deflated-All Might’s voice and only now realize we’re actually still in the teachers’ lounge. Oops.
“Class 1A thinks I’m married to Shouta…” But he doesn’t seem to understand my suffering at all, since his second question is: “And that is bad because…?”
“Well how am I supposed to score a date with Hitoshi’s mom if everyone thinks I’m married to this guy???” “You want to do what now-“ “And also if the class continues to believe that they’re gonna annoy the both of us for any ‘juicy’ information!!”
“…that is a good point.” Shouta grumbles as he sinks back into his armchair.
“What should we do then?” That is a very good question. If only I had an answer.
Hmmm…. Wait. I think I have an idea, but I’m not so sure if he’s gonna agree… “Weeell, how about you start dropping hints you’re gay?”
“What do you mean hints, I’m literally married to a man-“ “Oh you know what hints mean! Just… I don’t know… make a comment about how All Might’s muscles are hot!!”
I almost forgot that All Might was standing right behind us, but he immediately makes himself known as he almost chokes on his own blood.
Shouta gives me an unimpressed glare. “Thank you, but no thank you.” “But why???”
“One worse thing than my class thinking I’m married to you is them thinking I’m married to that.” He vaguely points towards All Might, who in the moment looks like a red two-meter mess.
“Well I don’t have any better ideas, do you?” “…” “That’s what I thought…”
He pulls another cup of coffee from who knows where and sighs. That reminds me… “Wait, why aren’t you spending the lunch period with your little purple gremlin?”
“He needed to talk about something with Zashi today, so I have free time.”
“Um, Shouta?” “*Sigh* Yes?” “Wasn’t Hizashi supposed to have lunch duty today? Like, to make sure there are no new fights in the dining hall??”
I leave my class alone for 10 motherfucking minutes, and they already manage to start a food fight. Why did I even let Nemuri convince me to become a teacher??
Also. How the FUCK did Midoriya manage to break his FUCKING fingers during a FOOD FIGHT?!?!?
And now they all have the nerve to look guilty as I’m staring them down.
I am THIS FUCKING CLOSE to quitting.
The afternoon classes pass by surprisingly easily. Though that might just be because Class 1A saw how pissed off I was and decided to choose life today.
The first half of the training goes by quickly too, Hitoshi and Nemuri happily bickering in-between us trying different techniques for his quirk.
He’s already growing more and more confident when it comes to it, and in the end we decide to cut the training in half – in the first one we’ll concentrate on his quirk and in the second one Nemuri will get to leave early and I’ll begin with some basic combat.
The only weird thing was that from the beginning I constantly felt like we were being watched, but when I looked in the direction I thought it was coming from, there was nothing.
It was weird, but hey, I’m on the school grounds, and this school is pretty damn safe, so it should be fine… whoever it was…
Not too long before Nemuri leaves, that weird feeling slowly starts disappearing.
“Bye Shouta, see you later Hitoshi sweetie!!” She waves us goodbye and gives us her ‘Kayama Nemuri’ smile. It’s a small change in expression, but the smile has a completely different feel to it.
I turn back to Hitoshi, who is now sporting an exited expression. “We’re doing combat now, right??” He's like an exited little purple kitten.
“Sure we are Hitoshi, just… not right now.” But as I see his expression fall, I hurry to correct myself. “No. No, what I mean is we’re gonna work on it today, I just want to talk to you about something before…”
“Oh, okay…” His hopeful expression returns and I can’t help but inwardly chuckle. He looks like a little kid in front of a candy shop.
“Well, me and Hizashi were talking, and we came up with a possible solution when it comes to your and your moms living situation… And it goes…”
“…Like I said, it’s just a possibility, there’s no need to accept it at all, but we wanted to share this with you to see how you would feel about-“
“Are you, are you serious?” “Well, yes… But if you don’t like it we can always-“
My nervous rambling gets interrupted as he leaps into my arms and tackles me in a tight hug. “...You would, …you would really do that? For us?” He looks up to me with hopeful eyes.
“Of course I would. I love you both so much.”
In the end we went to work on combat, and if the two of us had reddened eyes or wet sleeves, we didn’t comment on it.
In the evening, when Hizashi is cooking something for dinner (looking the happiest I've seen him in a while - I'm gonna have to ask how that talk with Hitoshi went, though it looks like I have nothing to worry about) and I just finished grading all of the new tests, I decide to ignore the nervous pit in my stomach and call Chizu.
It doesn’t even ring for long, but every second feels like an hour to me. I’m so lost in my spiraling thoughts that Chizu’s voice startles me so much that I almost fall off the couch.
“Hi Shouta, are you okay? It sounded like you almost fell.”
“Y-yeah, I’m okay. I just wanted to talk to you about this whole… situation.”
“Well, this whole thing is super new to all of us, and there’s just too many things that need to be talked about. For example, I would never even think of trying to battle you for custody – I’m not stupid, but however we decide to deal with it, having legal papers with all of the information in them as evidence is gonna make life for us hell of a lot easier.”
“That’s a really good point, and there are many things to consider… we should probably sit down over this sometime, huh?”
“Yeah, I wanted to suggest that… Are you and Hitoshi free this Saturday? You could come over to our house...”
“We can make it work… So you think I should take Hitoshi with me?”
“I think it would be a good idea, and it’s not like he’s five. He understands what it's about, and deserves to have a say in it too…”
“Good point. I’ll call you later today with the time me and Toshi can come, kay?”
“Okay. …thanks, Chizu.”
“No need to thank me Shouta.”
The steaming mug of hot cocoa (Toshi’s idea) is clasped tightly between my hands, but I hardly pay it any mind. My brain is however filled with one more radical thought than other as I try to find any possible solutions to mine and Hitoshi’s living situation.
After I took several days of leave with barely any notice, the place decided to straight up fire me, so right now I’m just trying my best to find any place that would employ me. I have hardly any expectations, I just need to find a way to make money – and quick, because the rent and groceries don’t pay themselves.
I really want to avoid having to return to working ‘on the streets’ again more than anything, but if there is no other option left for me, then I…
“Mom?” Toshi’s voice snaps me out of my thoughts.
“Is everything okay?” But upon noticing my expression quickly scrunches his face up in understanding and adds: “Sorry, that was a bad question.”
Yea, it's not like our life was ever trully 'okay'...
“No, it’s fine, I was just kind of lost in my thoughts…” He plops down on the ‘couch’ next to me. “Is it about the rent?” “…how could you tell?” “Years of practice.”
Heh, he really can read me like a book… I chuckle into my hot drink before finally taking a sip.
“Oh, and Shouta asked us to come visit him and Hizashi on the weekend to deal with some legal stuff… Do you want to come with me?” “Yeah, he has cats.” The sentence makes me break into a small smile. “Good to know.”
A comfortable silence stretches between the two of us, and we both shuffle a little closer to each other, until we’re basically cuddling on the old ‘couch’.
I’m not sure how much time has passed, but he turns his face to look at me. “…mom?” “Yes?” “I know this is kind of coming out of nowhere, but… if you could choose between anything, what would be your dream job?”
“Well, being a mermaid is one thing-“ “Mooom, you know that’s not what I meant...”
I can’t help but snicker at his pouting face. “I know, I know… I… I didn’t really allow myself to think about any of that for a long time now…”
I didn’t want to think about what I could’ve had… That would just be making myself sadder for no reason…
“But you know I always loved music. Music is one of the few things I always enjoyed working with… But I wouldn’t want to be a singer or play in a band. That’s not really for me, but if I could’ve somehow connected my job with music - like working in a recording studio or such, then I guess I’d consider that my dream job…”
I gently brush a hand through his gravity-defying hair. “Don’t worry about it though… Right now I just want to find a job that will help us keep a roof over our heads…"
He gives me a sad smile that is matching mine. “I know…”
After our conversation he quickly excuses himself, because he apparently ‘forgot’ to tell Shouta something super important about ‘training’.
…Hitoshi is about as bad at lying as I am at ice hockey…
I still can't with if Todoroki thought that Dadzawa was married to All Might xDD The little shit would make poor All Might so damn uncomfortable during combat training :))
Chapter 26: Socially UNaware
Enter Todoroki Shouto + his theories, Hitoshi thinks he's about to get murdered and Aizawa needs coffee.
Chemistry is killing me RN, so if there are any grammatical errors please ignore it. I'll go over it after I write my test :'D
Content warnings: mentions of past sexual assault, mentions of past traumatic events, light intrusive thoughts
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
I knew it.
Ever since the class found out from Ashido and Kaminari that Aizawa-sensei apparently has a secret lovechild, they’ve been pestering him about it, constantly asking questions. But of course he wouldn’t tell us anything.
So I decided to make it my mission to find out who is his secret lovechild and who he has him with.
We know said lovechild is fifteen and is a boy, but that’s about it. Though… I would find it pretty likely that this person would be at this school. After all, this is where Aizawa-sensei spends most of his time, so if he found out, it’s most likely to have happened here.
That by itself gives me so many options – and just in my class too. There’s still too many options here – and it could be someone in class 1B too, not to mention the other courses.
I needed to find something to add to the information I already know.
So when I saw Aizawa-sensei walking down a hallway, sometimes I would take a few wrong turns to follow him for longer. And then, once I saw it, it all made sense.
She was basically hanging off of Aizawa-sensei and annoying him about something while calling him “Shouta-kun” – and the MOST important part, he didn’t seem to mind.
Aizawa-sensei. Did. Not. Mind.
Not just that, even though his face looked indifferent it was obvious by his body language that he was legitimately enjoying her company!!
My questions to Midnight-sensei later confirmed it to me - with how embarrassed she looked and how she immediately tried to change the topic I must’ve been right.
And so, the same day I followed her after school. And then she met up with Aizawa-sensei and A PURPLE-HAIRED BOY THAT LOOKED TO BE MY AGE.
All parties seemed to know each other well and joked around as they trained the boy, and the mention about him ‘getting into the hero course in no time’ confirmed that to me.
But the most important part here is how different Aizawa-sensei and Midnight-sensei looked to how they do at school. They looked truly happy. And the faces the two made while looking at the boy-
Especially Aizawa-sensei. He had such a soft look on his face, and the way he was patiently guiding the boy through the process was a complete opposite to how he is in the classroom. He was like a complete different person.
Is this how real families look like? Is this what I could’ve had?
Midnight-sensei too. Her hero persona and her at that moment might as well be different people. And the smile she sent their was as she was leaving was the final piece of the puzzle.
I quickly left to prevent being spotted by Aizawa-sensei, but the cogs in my brain were producing a deduction after another.
So. Aizawa-sensei and Midnight-sensei are definitely together (maybe not married, but together). And they have a purple-haired son that they are training to get into the hero course.
He looked so similar to them too!! Midnight-sensei’s hair is dark blue, which might as well be purple, and the boy’s facial structure looked just like Aizawa-sensei’s.
This is so much new information!
I wonder what his life was… having two pro-heroes as parents… Though, Aizawa-sensei did apparently only find out this month.
I should try to talk to him tomorrow during lunch (
maybe we could be friends -).
Yeah, that sounds like a great idea. I just want to talk to him. Nothing more.
…I am pretty sure I just fucked up
yet another math test.
Oh well... at least now it’s lunch break. And I definitely need to tell dad more about the stuff mom was talking about yesterday.
As I’m walking in the half-empty hallway by the open door of a random classroom, a hand suddenly appears out of the door, grabs me by the arm into an iron grip and pulls me inside.
Even though this is nothing like… that back then, my brain still can’t help but remember.
Fuck, let go, let me go, no, no, not again, nOT AGAIN-
The grip doesn’t budge even as I pull with all my strength and in my panicked state the only thing I can think of is
GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME .
My other arm quickly drops all the textbooks I was carrying in it and I punch that person square in the face. It happened so quickly that I didn’t even have the time to check who it actually was, but with my hit their grip on me weakened and I ripped my arm away.
“Let me the fuck go!!”
I take a few steps back and try to correct my ragged breathing. After taking a few deep breaths I finally look up to see who
THE FUCK gave me such a scare.
…well. I was expecting a lot, but not ENDEAVORS SON.
He’s rubbing a hand on his face, where I can see a light red bruise forming (next to the older looking scar I probably do not want to know the backstory of – just a hunch). His face is blank except for the slight hint of …surprise? Like what the fuck did you expect after grabbing me by the arm and pulling me into an empty classroom???
…WAIT. I punched him in the face. I punched Endeavor's son in the face. Oh I am so dead.
Just as I’m deciding whether I’ll want an open or closed casket funeral, he seemingly gets over his earlier ‘surprisement’ and takes a few steps closer to me.
“Todoroki Shouto. Nice to meet you.”
I’m sorry, but that guy is more socially awkward than me, and that’s saying something.
“Uhh… Shinsou Hitoshi… Why the hell did you drag me in here??”
“I didn’t want us to be interrupted.” He answers as he closes the door – my only escape route – and turns to face me once more. Welp, it was a nice life.
I’m not sure if he’s doing it on purpose of if he just doesn’t realize how menacing that sentence sounded, but he continues in that awfully monotone voice. “I wanted to talk to you about something regarding you.”
Yep, I’m dead.
“And your family.”
Wait- so my family is dead now too??? Just because I punched him in the face?!?!
“Ehh… look…” I try my best to ‘fix’ the very unfixable-looking situation. “I’m sorry I punched you, it was an accident,” Ha ha. “And I’m not looking for trouble. So… if you would please excuse me—“
I try to wiggle past him to get to the door, but he just blocks it again with the same blank expression from before. Maybe I should call my mom to tell her how much I love her and to live a good life-
“I still didn’t get to talk to you about-“
“Sorry, gotta go get lunch, you know how it is-“ I just need to get to dad quickly enough to save me from certain death-
“I know who your parents are.”
That sentence alone makes me freeze in my tracks. “W-what?”
“I know your father is Aizawa-sensei-“ OH FUCK. “And your mother is Midnight-sensei.” ...wHAT?
He studies my shocked face (I’m pretty sure he could see my soul leaving my body if he was looking closely enough) for a few seconds and then lets a slightly triumphant expression overtake his features. “Guess I was correct.”
…I think this face looks even scarier on him than the blank one on earlier. I am very terrified right now.
He motions to one of the closest chairs while lowering himself into the one next to it. “Would you mind sitting down?”
…I feel like I’m in some yakuza bosses secret lair. And I am very much not comfortable with the energy we’ve created in the studio today.
I sat down, but mostly because I was too scared of what was gonna happen if I refused.
He’s looking right at me, but he’s not saying anything. It’s very unnerving. After a few moments of him staring I decide ‘well, fuck it’ and ask: “…So?”
“You really do look like a combination of Midnight-sensei and Aizawa-sensei. Just purple.”
…was that supposed to be a compliment or…?
“Uh, sorry, but they’re not my parents…” It might be only halfway true, but there’s no way I’m telling this guy
who looks like he could murder my entire family in cold blood who I am and am not related to.
“Lying isn’t going to get you anywhere.” Aand we’re back to him sounding like he’s about to get me quietly ‘removed’ from Earth. Great.
“W-what do you want?” I decide to finally stop circling around it. I really don’t wanna die today…
To my surprise, he seems slightly taken aback. “What do you mean? I merely wanted to confirm this for myself. Though I pretty much already confirmed it yesterday, back when you were training with Aizawa-sensei and Midnight-sensei.”
Oh, so now he’s a stalker too. Great. Just fantastic. This guy is getting better and better by the minute.
“… Confirm what exactly?” I ask just to make sure.
“That you are indeed Aizawa-sensei’s and Midnight-sensei’s secret lovechild.”
…huH?? Sorry, but like… I already knew that he thought I was their kid (that was weird enough to think about), but does he HAVE TO CALL ME THAT???
“Of course, I would understand if you wanted to keep this a secret. I just wanted to let you know that I know, and you can talk to me.”
...wait. Was THIS his entire reason for dragging me here and scaring me to death?!?!
There has to be some sort of condition of him keeping his mouth shut, right?
“…what’s your condition of keeping quiet?”
“So I was correct.” No, I just don’t have enough surviving brain cells to deal with this fucking conversation.
“But, I don’t think I really had a condition.” “Huh?”
“Well…” He looks away. “There is one thing…”
“What is it? Spit it out.” The last thing I wanna be right now is be indebted to the son of Japan’s number two hero.
“Would you like to be my friend?”
Just as I was deciding whether to just return to the teachers lounge, Hitoshi finally arrived, looking like he just ran a marathon with death.
“Where were you for so long? I thought you either got kidnapped or outright decided you’re gonna skip lunch.”
“…well, I wouldn’t exactly call it kidnapping, but-“
“YOU GOT KIDNAPPED??? WHERE THE HELL ARE THEY I SWEAR I WILL-“
“No no no no no, dad, it’s okay, it’s not like that-“
He finally manages to catch his breath and basically collapses on his spot next to me, while I’m still standing, capture weapon at hand. If someone tries to lay even a finger on him, I will fuck them up so bad they’ll-
“I kind of got stuck talking to Todoroki from your class.”
“…How exactly do you get ‘stuck’ talking to the student that says about two sentences a day??”
“Not to me.” He opens his lunchbox and starts hurriedly eating, which prompts me to finally sit back down.
“Don’t eat so fast, Hitoshi. The food ain’t going anywhere.” I ruffle his hair and he quips back. “That’s easy for you to say. I thought I was gonna die five minutes ago.”
…excuse me, what?? What the hell did Todoroki want to talk about??
“What the fuck even happened between you two?”
“Language. And… it was wild.” He stops eating and fully jumps into an explanation. “In summary, he thinks I’m your and Auntie Nemuri’s ‘secret lovechild’.” …hUH??? “And he was either trying to act threatening – which worked, or he is just so socially inept that he didn’t realize how what he said made him sound.”
“It’s number two.” “Wait really?” “Yep, the kid is about as socially aware as a jellyfish.”
We continue eating our lunches in silence, until Hitoshi again breaks it with one sentence. “Also… I may have punched him in the face.”
I almost spit out the coffee I was drinking. “And how the hell did that happen??”
“Well… it all started with…”
“…and yeah, after that I ran here.”
“Nothing, I’m just counting in my head how many kettles of coffee I’ll have to drink to completely wipe this from my memory.”
“Relatable.” He chuckles. “Are you planning to try and do something about it or are we just leaving it be?”
“Ugh… I’ll try, but considering he didn’t believe you one bit back then I doubt it’s gonna work…”
“Yeah… but still, good luck.”
“Thanks, I’ll need it.” I slowly get up from the stairs. Then something occurs to me, and I decide to be an annoying dad, just this once. “So… you made a friend?”
“Dad! It’s not my fault he basically forced his phone number on me!” He can deny it all he wants, but it’s pretty obvious that he’s not actually mad about it.
God, if those two become friends, their combined social UNawareness is gonna be unstoppable.
“All Might, can I borrow Todoroki for a moment?” “Oh, sure Aizawa-kun!” “Great. Todoroki, come with me.”
After I make sure that we’re far enough that the rest of my gremlins won’t be able to hear us, I stop and turn towards him. “I wanted to talk to you about something…”
“If you’re worried that I’m going to tell people about the fact that you and Midnight-sensei are married and have a son, you have nothing to worry about. I’m not planning on telling people.”
Ugh, I need another coffee…
“*Sigh* Listen, me and Nemuri don’t have a kid, we aren’t even together in the first pla-“
But at that exact moment, Nemuri rounds the corner, and upon spotting me waves and runs up to us, deciding that she wants to crush my ribcage in a hug. “Hey Shouta!! I got the documents you needed!!“ And she hands me a stack of papers.
Those are however ignored as all my attention is on Todoroki and how his eyes immediately zeroed in on the hug.
Fuck my life.
I didn't intend for the interactions between Todoroki and Hitoshi to be shippy, but if someone like so see it that way go right ahead :))
Also I just love the combines social awkwardness from their interaction xdd
Chapter 27: Only if you want to
Lunch at the YamaZawa house, we find out what the 'plan' is and we're nearing the END!!!
Sorry for the late update, school was gently dragging me through mud by the neck :)
Also, I finally set up the expected amount of chapters. I don't think it's going to change, so the fic is probably near the end...
Content warnings: nothing really (but lmk if you think there is!)
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
A new-looking black car pulls up in front of our house and an unnaturally loud voice shouts out: “HEYYYY!!! YA’LL READY FOR A RIIDEEEE?!??”
A gruff voice next to him mutters: “Zashi, some people are trying to sleep here…”
“Well ‘some people’ should’ve slept during the night, not at one in the afternoon!!”
I can’t help but chuckle at their bickering and soon enough me and my mom are getting in the car with them. The school week is finally over and today we’re coming over to their house to discuss the ‘logistics of our situation’. Whatever that is.
A few minutes into the ride, after looking around a little bit, I ask: “Uhh, did you get a new car?”
“We kind of had to, Mic totaled the last one.”
“Shou!! You’re making me sound irresponsible!! We both know that I’m the better driver out of the two of us!”
…now that he mentions it, I would really like to see how dad drives. (or maybe not, who knows)
The car starts slowing down as we’re passing through one of the nicer neighborhoods in Musutafu. There are similar-looking smaller sized houses (just enough for two people and several cats) on both sides with well-tended to gardens that are just as small.
The houses are pretty close to one another, as the gardens are really tiny, but it doesn’t appear cramped in the slightest. Everything’s clean, there is no trash laying around, and no graffiti lining the walls.
(not to mention the absolute lack of gang members walking around)
The neighborhood simply couldn’t look more different than the one I grew up in. The whole place just radiates the feeling of safety.
Even as Mic is pulling into the driveway of one of these small houses, I keep looking around, studying the place closely. Last time I was here, I got here half-unconscious, and back then I was way too freaked out by everything to just look at it.
Even their garden has a few flowers growing there and there. I’ve never really thought about it before… Which one of the two is more likely the gardening type…?
Before I manage to get too deep into my own thoughts, dad is already unlocking the front door. The second he opens the door; I’m once again reminded of one of the reasons I insisted to come. Cats.
As we’re taking off our shoes, Dog and Jelly swamp our feet, meowing for attention. Sushi is laying a little further, on the couch, slowly blinking at us.
“Aww, they’re so cute!” Mom reaches out to let Jelly sniff her hand, and then starts scratching them behind their ears.
“Oh, you seem to be pretty god at handling cats!” Mic comments brightly. “Thank you, I love cats so much. Used to work at a cat café back in my teenage years.” She smiles.
“Can I pick Dog up?” I ask dad as Dog (I still can’t get over that hilarious name) rubs on my legs, purring. “Sure, if he lets you.”
I take a good look on how the house looks like on the inside – basically the only thing I clearly remember is where the bathroom is.
Of course you remember the bathroom, that’s where you threw up and made Mic calm you down from having a panic attack you selfish little-
“WHO WANTS FOOD???” Thank god for Mic, that voice even manages to yell over ‘those’ thoughts.
“Mic, we’re literally 5 meters away from you.” “WELL YOU WANT FOOD OR NOT?”
Even though dad’s still wearing that annoyed look, all of us in the room (including the cats) already know he doesn’t really mean it.
And so we all come to the kitchen to have lunch (we don’t want to face Mic’s wrath today, and well… it’s good). And …the food was way more than just good. Honestly if Mic wasn’t a DJ and got into professional cooking instead, Lunch Rush would have some serious competition.
I have been eating Mic’s food for a while, so I know it’s amazing, but today he was really overdoing himself. I do not understand how dad manages to stay this fit while having a basically professional chef at home. I could never.
However, by the end I notice that I was slowing down and intentionally eating the food as slow as I could without it looking suspicious. I’m not even the one who will really have to talk here, but still, this is going to be a very stressful situation (duh, obviously).
But hey, at least I know about ‘the thing’ that dad and Mic are going to bring up, so at least that makes it a little better.
After we’re all done, we gradually move ourselves to the living room, sitting on the armchairs and couch – cats lying in our laps, totally oblivious of the clusterfuck that we have to deal with. Oh to be a cat...
“So…” Dad says nervously, not knowing how to break the silence. Wait, is that where I got my low social skills from??
“Well…” My mom speaks up hesitantly. “I know this is a pretty weird situation, but from what I understand we’re here to discuss the …logistics of this… so…”
Nevermind. This entire family’s social skills are a big, fat ZERO.
Well, let’s just hope that Mic can save us… Wait. When did I start thinking of him as family? (...It does feel right though…)
I get snapped out of my thoughts by dad speaking again. “Yeah… Like, for example, Hitoshi lives with you – he’s in your custody, and since there are two of us now, it would probably be for the best to have it all written up somewhere…”
“I see what you mean… that’s a good idea.” She agrees, “But are you sure that you don’t want some partial-“
He quickly interrupts her. “No, well, yes, but uh... in this situation I don’t think it’s really about what I want, it should be more about what the two of you would want.”
He sighs and looks at the two of us with a soft expression. “I mean, you were the only person taking care of him for the majority of his life, so it would be irrational for me to just waltz in and demand he spends one week here and the next week with you… Not that me and Zashi wouldn’t love having Hitoshi over sometimes for weekends or even longer…”
Mic nods in agreement while having a comforting hand on dad’s shoulder. “Definitely. The little listener would always be welcome here. It’s about what the two of you would be comfortable with.”
Mom looks from one to the other and releases a small chuckle. “And here I was worrying myself that establishing boundaries with you is going to be tough. The two of you are just letting me do whatever I think Is the best?”
There was still a tiny bit of disbelief in her voice, but that was quickly erased as dad and Mic nodded their heads seriously.
“There’s just one thing…” She opens her mouth again, her smile dimming, “I don’t know if I’ll be able to support Hitoshi anymore… I got kicked out of the job that barely managed to cover rent, and no places I looked into so far want to employ me… I think me and Hitoshi are going to lose that small apartment soon… I already owed the landlord money but now, I don’t think he’ll let us stay anymore…”
“That was actually another thing I- we, wanted to discuss.” Dad says, not at all sounding defeated by what mom said (I mean, I know why, but she doesn’t yet).
Mic speaks up too. “Yeah, we originally wanted to bring this up near the end, but now seems like a much more suitable time.”
Both of them start getting up from the couch. “Would you mind stepping outside with us real quick? We’ve got something we wanted to show you.”
Her expression is unsure, however, after I give her a (hopefully) supporting smile, she follows them outside with me.
There we stand on the paved driveway, and dad points to the small house located just behind the painted fence – except for the color, the house’s layout looks nearly identical to theirs. Perfectly sized for two people and possibly a few cats.
“That house,” He says, “Is empty right now. The old owners decided to move to Okinawa not so long ago, and so they want to sell it.”
I can’t help the small smile that creeps up on my face, but my mom doesn’t quite seem to follow yet. “…What do you mean by that?”
“The two of you could live in that house.”
There. Her eyes widen, looking back to dad. “I, I can’t pay for it! I could never afford a house like this!!”
“I never said anything about you paying for it.”
The realization starts sinking in, and the few seconds my mom spends unmoving, staring into nothing, only seem to amplify the nervousness that I can basically see rolling off of him in waves. “W-well, if you don’t like the idea then we could always-“
“No!” She stops him, still looking shocked. “No, it’s not that I wouldn’t like it, I, I just… this is too much. Buying me and Hitoshi a house just like that, that’s…“
“Consider it all the years of unpaid child support.” He jokes to try and lighten up the mood. “But really, it isn’t that much money for me, hero work pays well, and even if it was, it’s for the two of you. I consider that worth it.”
“Exactly! Me and Shou have five jobs between each other! Money is not a problem at all!” Mic adds with a smile.
“I was mostly worried if you wouldn’t want to live that close to me and Zashi, and in that case we can absolutely arrange something different and-“
He doesn’t get to finish that sentence, as mom captures him in a strong hug. She lets out a wet chuckle and whispers: “I always knew you were a great person Shouta, but you really are my guardian angel...”
“Group hug!!” Me and Mic join in on the cuddle circle, and if a few happy tears escape between the four of us, we keep it to ourselves.
“…not to break the celebrating mood, but I don’t have a job. I can’t even afford to pay for groceries- And no, Shouta you are not buying groceries for us.” She quickly interrupts dad when he tried to open his mouth.
“Well, might I have a solution for that…” Mic puts on a blindingly bright smile. “It’s been a little over fifteen years since I started my Put Your Hands Up radio, so I’d say it’s about time some fresh blood joined me in the studio…”
What followed in the afternoon was a lot of laughing, a lot of crying, and most importantly a LOT of hugs.
I’m not entirely sure where it’s gonna go from here, but… I am happy.
I honestly don’t think I’ve been this happy since… ever.
It’s finally starting to look good for us.
It's been a while since a chapter ended on a positive note :)
Chapter 28: Two months later
THE LAST CHAPTER IS HERE!!!
From the title I'm guessing ya'll already know what this chapter's gonna be about, so enjoy!!
Content warnings: mild mentions of past abuse (just really shortly though)
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
“I’ve got a little surprise for you.”
“…It’s not gonna be like one of those surprises where you were actually testing my awareness of surroundings, is it?”
“Tsk, no. It’s about your transfer to the hero course.” He pulls a paper out of his pocket and looks at me with a triumphant expression. “You’ll be able to join regular hero course classes starting next month.”
I run up to him. “You’re the best, dad!!!” “Argh- geez, kid, you scared me, jumping on me like that…” He says, having that same fond smile on his face he did when I first managed to pull myself from one lamppost to another on my capture scarf without falling.
I don’t let go for a long time, hugging him even tighter. “…thanks so much...”
He smiles. “There’s nothing to be thankful for, you're the one who put an incredible amount of effort into this - you fully deserve to be in there.”
It’s then, when I’m walking out of the building and to the school entrance, that I begin to think back to the thing that started this whole chain of events.
It’s been officially two months since me and mom moved into the house next door to dad and pops. We were all just a bunch of nervous wrecks back then, afraid to accidentally step over some invisible boundaries – god, it was so awkward.
But hey, we got used to it. Soon enough, it became the norm for me not to have to avoid this and that alleyway because of gangs, not to have to ignore the yells coming out of the surrounding houses, and not having to step through vomit/cigarette bud littered sidewalks (if there even were sidewalks).
That doesn’t mean that I forgot how it was though. I will never forget. If anything, it pushes me even further in my dream. There are tons of people living there in those neglected, high-crime areas, and I want to be that kind of hero to help out there. I don’t care about fame or recognition. Heh, pops loves comparing me to dad in that way. I guess it is kind of accurate, but I wouldn’t admit it to his face.
A lollipop-colored head catches my attention.
“Shouto!” I wave at him.
“Oh, hello Hitoshi. How are you doing?” He greets me with the same deadpan expression, but his eyes sparkle with interest. It’s one of the only signs to recognize how he’s actually feeling.
“Oh, I’m doing fantastic!” “What a pleasant change, you usually just complain about homework or tests-“
“-Gee thanks." I interrupt him quickly, a hand automatically coming up to rub the back of my neck. "But I finally have an official statement from the school – I’ll be joining you in your hero classes soon!”
He nods his head, looking enthusiastic (or, as enthusiastic as one with his facial expression can look). “I’m really glad to hear that. Now that we’ll be in the same class, I can fully explain to you the rest of the theories I have on my – our classmates. You’ll finally know who I’m talking about.”
“I swear, if it’s another theory about Midoriya’s dad being either the fucking Symbol of Piece or the Symbol of Evil, I am going to bang my head against a brick wall.”
“Actually, I have one about Bakugou. Have you ever seen those pointy little sea urchins?”
After parting ways with Shouto when his driver arrived, I start my way back home. Usually, dad drives me, but right now he has some more stupid paperwork to deal with – like, there is so much paperwork to hero work that isn’t commonly talked about.
Also, it’s nice out, and Hound Dog did tell me that spending more time outside would be ‘beneficial for my mental health’. So I’m walking.
…stupid little walks for stupid little mental health…
At first, I was a little wary of Hound Dog, but the methods he suggested did actually help, and it didn’t take me too long to warm up to him. Most of the students think he’s scary – because he mainly works in security, but he’s a complete opposite once you get to know him. He’s super gentle with everything, easy to talk to and has a witty sense of humor. And he also never judges me, which should probably be a given with therapist, but it's not. It’s fun talking to him…
Mom attends therapy too now. It’s a different therapist – of course, and from what I know I think she and my mom get along great.
I walk along the clean sidewalk, looking at the nearby flowers, my eyes following a yellow butterfly. I’m gonna be home soon, this place is much closer to the school than my old house. It’s much safer too – and nice to look at.
I walk into the neighborhood that we live in, and soon can see our new house – with the car still in the driveway. That’s great, maybe I’ll still catch up to mom before she leaves to run some errands she mentioned earlies.
But before that, a familiar head of curly grey hair in a neighboring garden catches my attention.
“Oh, hello Ms. Tanaka!”
The older lady turns around and gives me a radiant smile. “Nice to see you again Hitoshi! How's school?”
“It’s great, I’m going to transfer to the hero course soon. How are you doing?” “Oh I’m doing fine, as usual. I’m so glad to hear that though, I know well you’re going to grow into a great hero one day!!”
Before she turns back around to tend to her flowery garden, she adds: “And don’t forget! We’re baking cookies together on Saturday!”
I chuckle. “Wouldn’t dream of it!”
I wave goodbye to her and head over to my house, but the smile stays on my face for the rest of the walk. She’s neighbors with us (on the other side from pops and dad), and ever since we moved in has been something of an unofficial grandma to me. When needed, she helped mom around the house, like for example she helped with the papers to the new car - we've never done that before, so it was very much needed.
She’s the sweetest old lady I’ve ever met, and I’m sure mom needed someone like that too (from what I know mom’s original parents sucked, so...).
I turn and walk on our front lawn, fishing the keys out of my pocket and opening the door to the small light purple house. Considering mine and my mom’s hair color, that is just too on the nose. We’re, as pops says, the 'little purple family in the little purple house'.
I open the door, and with a practiced movement close it shut before a certain fluffy gremlin manages to run through it. Instead, she chooses to release and obnoxiously loud ‘meoooww’ to get my attention. Pftt, no wonder we call her Princess, with how bossy she is.
I bend down to pick Princess up, and she makes herself comfortable in my arms as I gently stroke her greyish fur. We found her in a trash can as we were moving stuff out of the old apartment, and decided (after some begging from my side) to keep her – and she’s become such a spoilt little brat in such a short time. Not that I wouldn’t still die for her.
“Mom, I’m home!”
“Oh, welcome home!” she walks out of the living room in a pastel summer dress and with sunglasses on her head. Huh. She usually doesn’t get this dressed up just to run some errands. "I wasn't expecting you this early."
“…are you going somewhere special?” “…maybe.”
“Uhuh, 'maybe'.” She nervously raises her hand to rub at the back of her neck. “Yeah, I’m, kind of, ehhh, going on a….”
But she gets interrupted by the loud screeching of tires that can be heard even without having any open windows in this house. I look out in a window just in time to see an expensive-looking black car being parked in front of our entrance. It does not paint a very good picture. I quickly pull my eyes away from the window, not wanting to be noticed by whoever is in that car.
“Mom?” “…yes?” “Did you get a sugar daddy or involved with the yakuza? Just tell me, I can take it.”
“Wha-? Hitoshi of course not-“ We get interrupted by someone knocking on our door. Welp, if this is the yakuza, we are royally screwed right now.
I quickly move to open the door, before mom can try to hide whatever it is behind that. However, as I open the door, there is…
“Uh, Auntie Nemuri?”
I look wide eyed at the woman who is for once not in her hero costume nor a comfortable sweater, instead wearing… high boots, ripped jeans and a leather jacket?
“Oh, so nice to see you Hitoshi!!” She gives me a short welcome hug, smiling like the sun. Why would she even be here though? …I couldn’t have fucked up last week’s test THAT much, right? Right??
“Um, if this is about last week’s test, then I-“ “Oh no, not at all Hitoshi!” She laughs. “Your poor skills at history are not the reason I’m here today.” Gee, thanks.
My mom chooses that moment to push herself out the door, pink handbag over her shoulder, and greets her exitedly. “Hi!!” Auntie Nemuri visibly squeaks. “Oh my god, you look so cute!!!” She crashes into my mom for a hug.
…I feel like I might’ve missed something here…
“Uhh, Auntie Nemuri?” “Yes?” “…why are you here then?” I hope I didn’t come off as rude, Shouto’s bluntness is rubbing off on me.
“I’m taking your mother on a date!!”
…well that’s certainly new.
She notices my shocked expression and turns to my mom. “Chi, you didn’t tell him???”
She at least has the decency to look embarrassed. “Well…, I wanted to tell him when I got back. I had it all planned about what I’m gonna say and stuff…“
I quickly take the attention back on myself. “Don’t sound so worried, I don’t care. I was just… surprised I guess…”
“Yeah, that’s fair…” Mom says, still looking a little embarrassed. “Still, sorry…”
She comes closer and ruffles my hair. “I’ll be back soon, if you need anything Hizashi is at home, he doesn’t have anything planned for the rest of the day!”
Nemuri leads mom to her (pretty cool, I have to admit) car as she waves at me. “No need to wait for her, we're not coming back until it's very late~“
“Nemuri!!” She gives her a light slap on the arm, her ears red, before turning back to me. “Toshi, I’ll be back by eight, no need to worry!” “Uhuh…”
As I watch the car disappear in the distance, I can’t help the small smile that forms on my face. Even though this entire interaction was… awkward, to say the least, I’m really happy for my mom. She never really got to just... enjoy herself as an adult, she just went straight from being a teenager to a single parental figure who had to take care of the entire household.
Also, Auntie Nemuri seems like she’d treat her like the queen she is. ...and if she doesn't, we're gonna have problems.
I arrive in my room and drop the school bag on the floor, quickly changing into something more comfortable than my school uniform. I originally just plan to lie down and read for a while, but after looking all over my room for the book I’m currently reading and finding nothing, I come to one conclusion. It must be in my other room.
This is a pretty interesting thing on its own. Since sometimes I stay here with mom and sometimes with dad and pops, we decided that the guest room in their house could be remade into ‘my room’. So basically, when I stay with mom, this is my room, and when I stay with dad and pops, I have my room there too.
In the beginning, it was a little awkward too – just like having the keys to their house as well as moms, but now I don’t think I’d prefer it any other way. It’s a perfect balance, and the houses are right next to each other anyway.
The only downside is just that sometimes I leave stuff in there and then look for it for hours. But hey, if I kept better track of my stuff, it wouldn’t be that much of a problem, so yea.
I quickly put on some shoes and give a few more pets to Princess, who decided to be cuddly at the moment I need to leave.
“Shhh, I’ll be right back…” I give an answer to her loud meows – even though she knows I'm not leaving her forever, she sure is acting like it.
I close the front door and walk around to the one next to us. I pull out another key next to my cat keychain and open the door, yelling out: “Hey pops!!”
I hear some light shuffling in the kitchen, but no answer or anything else suggesting he heard me. He doesn’t have his hearing aids in, does he? ...last time he almost hit me with a frying pan because he didn’t hear me coming and thought it was a villain attack. Better be careful this time.
I take off my shoes and go stand in the kitchen doorway, not going any further until he notices me – I already learned my lesson not to try that. He’s just filling up his cup with some tea, and as he’s turning around, he catches sight of me and his small smile goes wide and radiant.
‘Hey Hitoshi’ He puts the cup down and starts signing. ‘Sorry, I don’t have my hearing aids in’ ‘Hi. And yeah, I noticed’
I was always interested in learning sign language, but it’s not like I could afford to take any classes on it, and even with the few videos I watched on it, I didn’t have anyone to practice with. But about a month and a half ago, pops offered to teach me – which I was ecstatic about. And I’ve gotten much better at it, I can comfortably hold a conversation now. Also, as sunshiny as he is, I love spending time with him. He’s great.
He quickly walks over to another room and comes back with his hearing aids in. “Sorry ‘bout that Hitoshi. What did you come her for?” He asks.
“Oh, I forgot a book in my room. But I also had a question.”
“Go right ahead, little listener. Tea?” “Uh, yea, sure.”
He serves me a cup of tea with a lot of sugar (by this time he knows that if it’s not a sugary mess, I’m not gonna drink it). “So, did you know my mom is dating someone? Or at least, going on a date with someone?”
He almost spits out the tea he was just drinking, some of it getting stuck in his nose. After a little coughing, he remarks. “You and your dad with your terrible timing. At least I wasn’t driving this time.” “Sorry…”
“Eh, no big deal. But, you’re serious?” “What is it, the first of April? Of course I was serious.”
“Then no, I have no idea she was going on a date with someone.” He blatantly ignores my sarcasm (he's already used to this from dad anyway, so it doesn't even phase him) and brings the tea up to take another sip. “Who’s it anyway?”
*Coughing noises* “Y-you know what? This was my fault. Next time I ain’t asking ya when I’m drinking something.”
I give him a creepy all teeth smile and he chuckles. “You look just like Shouta with that expression, I swear.”
We bicker for a while longer, but then I finally go up to my room to fetch the book I came here for. As I’m going back to the entrance, pops yells out from the kitchen: “Dinner is at six! I’ll be making your favorite, Chizu did tell me that she’s not gonna be home for dinner!”
“’K, can we do some sign lessons after that?” “Ya bet!!”
“Okay, bye pops!” “Bye Hitoshi!”
As I return back into my room (back in mom’s house) and lie in my bed, book in one hand, Princess spread out over my chest, I can’t help this sense of calmness washing over me.
It’s all been going so well lately, I have a nice family who loves me, my mom isn’t overworking working herself crazy - she's happy and actually has a social life now, I’m getting much stronger in training and I’m going to transfer into the hero course soon!!
I think if you told me from the beginning of the year that our life is going to be this great, he’d laugh right in your face.
I still have both better and worse days, but overall, my life is going great. And there is much more to come.
Heh, I can’t wait…
I hope you noticed the added detail with Hitoshi going from calling Hizashi 'Mic' to calling him 'pops' :D
He's a happy boi
I'm not planning on continuing the story further, but if any of you have any headcanons for this then let me know!! I love hearing about them!!!