SAM AND GABRIEL
“Read the charges,” Naomi ordered aloud with a scowl on her face.
“God, otherwise known as, Chuck Shurley, leader in all things heaven. You stand before this council of angels accused of illegal angel experimentation.” Zachariah read aloud from a slip of paper handed to him.
A large ship floated in from a door which was locked tight afterword. It proceeded to stop next to God as it began to lower a capsule.
“How do you plead?” Naomi prompted him.
“Not guilty. My works, or ‘experiments’ are clearly theoretical. I would never do that. I respect all legal boundaries that I- myself- your father may I add- have put forth for all of us to follow,” Chuck replied throwing his hands up as his robe swung with his exaggerated motions.
Chuck’s eyes were bloodshot from not acquiring enough sleep and 5 o’clock shadow was more prominent in the angelic light surrounding him.
“We believe you’re actually done something to one of our own kind.”
“Experimented on one of you? Ha! That would be completely irresponsible and unethical. I love all of your feathery butts the same. I would never ever-,” he was cut off by the angel now revealed in the glass container.
Zachariah was sitting back with his arms crossed with a smug expression.
“Do it on more than one,” Chuck said throwing his arms up and shrugging.
The angel inside was clearly mad. His once white toga was shredded and feathers askew, some falling off as he stood up banging on the glass muttering Enochian. All of the surrounding angels gasped around him.
“What happened to him? He’s a… monstrosity. A damned maggot! We’re not just going to stand around and let this maniac let it go free?” Zachariah scoffed leaning over the balcony separating them.
“Monstrosity?” Chuck screamed looking around, “what you see before you is the first of a new species, I call it an Arch Angel, experiment GABRIEL! GABE for short, which happens to be his name. He is angel blade proof, holy oil flame proof, or whatever you guys always get trapped in when I try to have a nice barbecue. Not to mention that this wings are much more durable than yours, and can even think faster than God himself, which happens to be me. He can fly in the dark and can lift things up to ten times his size! His only instinct is to torment everything he touches,” Chuck stated proudly as he pushed up his sleeves and continued, grinning at his work, “like a trickster, but more evil and angelic.”
“So, he was one of us,” Naomi questioned.
“Eh, he was just a little one. Not like anyone noticed him gone.”
“He is a threat to nature, humanity, and our peace in heaven. He must be destroyed!” Zachariah shouted and slammed down his hand.
“Calm yourself, Zachariah. Perhaps he can be reasoned with,” Naomi began as she turned towards him, “Experiment Arch Angel, Gabriel I mean, give us some sign you understand any of this,” she said as he turned around, “show us there is something inside of you that is… well... Heavenly in the least.”
Gabe turned around and smoothed out his toga as the grand council waited, their wings fluttered with anticipation. Clearing his throat he said, “___________________________,” in Enochian causing many angels to faint, throw up, or their grace to burn out causing an untimely death. Gabe laughed manically and winked at Naomi.
“I did not teach him that!” Chuck testified, but was quickly shot down by Zachariah.
Who countered, “place that idiot under arrest!”
“No, I prefer your holy creator!” Chuck shouted as he was encased in a holy circle of holy oil which was quickly ignited, “you know this won’t even affect me,” he sighed as he was taken away.
“So now,” Naomi began, “what to do with you… you’re clearly a product of a deranged mind and you have no place among us. Zachariah, take him away,” she turned around as he advanced toward Gabe who toyed with a sucker.
“With pleasure,” was all Zachariah said as he advanced toward the Arch Angel.
Gabe was surrounded by angels and strapped to a chair. His wings thrashed at the angels and were restrained quickly too. One of them took a syringe and extracted some of his grace as Zachariah held an angel blade to his neck.
“Don’t try to escape,” Zachariah began, “the council has decided to brainwash you. Sadly, brother, you won’t even remember any of this after Naomi is done with you,” he hissed as he left the cell.
Gabe tried to move, but the blades and their angels followed his every move. Slowly, a feather fell down. He grabbed it by his teeth before it hit the ground. He balanced it on his nose and all of the others let out frustrated grunts and muttered in Enochian.
When he laughed and shook his head, another angel came in with a blade in hand and reprimanded him with a curt, “Quiet, you.”
Gabriel laughed as blew the feather away. He easily broke free from the restraints and quickly flew over all of the angels and avoided their blades with ease.
“He’s in the vent!” one screamed as Zachariah began stabbing it with his blade as a recognizable laugh came from inside, “He’s heading toward the main … power grid.” The lights went out and an audible screech was heard.
“Hells yeah!” was heard echoed throughout the halls as Gabriel avoided the many angels that flew toward him with ease.
Gabe threw a few punches and was quickly out of the gates, angel blade in hand.
“Stop him!” It was no use by the time he left a blinding light stretched throughout Heaven.
“What was that?” Zachariah asked as he ran a hand over his face and looked out the door to see angels running frantic all over.
“I believe he just escaped… and stole your blade,” an angel replied quietly while avoiding eye contact.
“Oh my dad,” was all one angel could say as Zachariah walked over to her and held her up by her toga.
“You tell me where he will fall. The only angel that has ever left heaven is Lucifer and clearly that did not go as planned.”
“Where is he?” Naomi screamed as he burst in the door, her fists tightened.
“He’s falling and his estimated arrival is three hours,” one angel answered and turned towards her.
“That’s it. We’re going to have to destroy this entire planet aga-,” she was cut off by one of the only mortals in heaven screaming and running in, and tripped over many of her papers.
“Hold it! Hold everything!” Charlie screamed.
“Am I to assume you’re the expert?” Naomi crossed her arms and pursed her lips.
“Well… I wouldn’t say expert… Yes I am. Agent Bradbury at your service.”
“Can’t we just destroy the island where this creation is landing?”
“No, you stupid head! That planet is a protected holy reserve, do you know your own step brother once lived there with his foster family? Not to mention it’s also the home of Carrie Fisher. That’s beside the point, you can’t just go and blow up an entire island!”
“But nothing! These are the people you promised to protect; not to mention that there are colonies of us everywhere!”
“I am well aware of that. Can’t we send a few angels down there to just-”
“Do you not understand me? These are delicate creatures, your wings would send them into global panic! Why don’t you just send someone down to get him? Doesn’t he have a brother? Close uncle? Dog?”
Naomi quickly escorted Charlie to the prison where Chuck was being held.
“How about friendly cousin? Neighbor with a mustache? A Star Wars collectable edition Princess Leia standee,” Charlie continued counting on her fingers all the possibilities that came to her mind.
The cell door was opened as they approached it as Chuck ripped up one of his books.
“Ah, what a pleasant surprise! Now tell me, has my creation escaped yet?” Chuck asked shoving the papers away and sitting on his small cot.
“Yes, do you have any idea of how we could ever get ahold of him?” Naomi asked as Charlie she stood behind her.
“Well, maybe a hit with some sort of powerful sigil. Not to kill him, but stun him for a small period of time. But that would require angel blood and as you can see I’m a little short,” he rolled his eyes and holding his coffee cup almost like a teddy bear of some sort.
“Blood granted,” Naomi responded emotionless as Charlie peeked from behind her.
“So you’ll give me my freedom in if I find my little creation?”
“Do we have a deal?”
“Good, I’ll prepare the gates for your departure. Charlie will accompany you of course, she’s always wanted to go on an adventure, am I right?” Naomi walked out with the bars shutting behind her.
“So,” Chuck began to inch forward, “tell me more of how one my favorite children has escaped into the world of the human race.”
“I’m a lesbian.” She blurted out as he got closer to her.
“I’m God, nice to meet you,” Chuck laughed sitting on his cot as angels groaned all over, “dad jokes,” he said winking at her.