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Avengers Tower

Summary:

Steve Rogers is trying to get used to life with ALL of his personal information available to the public, not just what all the historians pedaled thanks to Peggy and Howard. But he is struggling to figure out how to tell Tony about Bucky's role in Howard and Mariah's deaths.

Tony has to get used to life with a new diagnosis of BiPolar II and PTSD. Also not being with Pepper anymore, but that's a different story when you find out your childhood crush had a seriously classified backstory.

Notes:

I'll update this as I go. I don't really have much planned apart from 3, maybe 4 bullet points in a document. Two of those points are already in the relationship section.

Let's see how this goes.

Chapter 1

Summary:

The band is getting back together again at the brand new Avengers Tower, but Tony's curiosity has never been something he can control.

Notes:

Warning: mentions of 9/11 and palming meds.

DO NOT SKIP TAKING MEDICATION!!!

Chapter Text

Thanks to his house being blown up by missiles, Tony didn’t have much when he moved into Avengers Tower. All he had were his broken remains of DUM-E, some newly bought clothes, a newly built phone, and medications for his new diagnosis of Bi Polar II and PTSD. He needed somewhere to crash anyway, since he and Pepper split after Killian almost murdered them. He couldn’t blame her for not being able to handle the superhero thing anymore.

He was lucky the building had been finished two weeks ago, especially with that HYDRA thing in DC. Natasha and Barton had already moved in, but no one had heard from Thor in a while. Hill sent an application to join the Avengers team, and they all figured ‘why not?’. Steve and his new friend Sam Wilson were on the hunt for Bucky Barnes, and many former SHIELD agents were being dragged to DC to test their allegiances.

On his second night in the tower, as Tony tinkered with DUM-E’s casing, the little urge he’d had started to take over. He’d read about how all of SHIELD and HYDRA’s files had been dumped online, which meant Tony could get to the mystery of why Steve barely had a paper trail sans hacking any servers. It’d always rubbed him in the wrong way, how Steve didn’t have any official documents until 1939. His dad said that Steve’s old school burnt down, so there weren’t any records before he started working at an ad agency. The media was more focused on all of the political figures who were HYDRA rather than Steve’s personal files… but Tony had to know.

“Jarvis?”

“Yes Sir?”

“… You remember that bad idea I pitched to you after the HYDRA dump?”

“I seem to recall advising against it because it would be a breach of trust.”

Tony threw his screwdriver on his desk. “He’s read everything there is about me, I’m an open book to the world these days.”

“Isn’t the saying ‘An eye for an eye and the whole world goes blind’?”

“J, c’mon, throw me a bone here. No reporters are talking about the files, so there’s probably nothing outrageous in them. When have I ever steered you wrong?”

“Shall I recount alphabetically or numerically?”

Just to be an ass, Tony put on a pleading expression to the nearest security camera, pouted his lips, and said, “Pleeeeaassseee?”

Jarvis didn’t respond at first, as if rolling his non-existent eyes. “I shall go through Captain Rogers’ files. A full report of what you would deem interesting will be available in two hours.”

“Sweet!”

***

At around 1:04 am, while Tony had been working on the calibration for his new suit, Jarvis rang.

“Sir, I have successfully acquired all of Captain Rogers’ files… and there are indeed some shocking revelations contained in them.”

“Oohhh. Show me.”

A hologram appeared in front of Tony that made his jaw drop. It was several documents dating back to before 1939, with a woman who looked just like Steve before the serum, only she had long blonde hair and makeup. She didn’t look happy though, even if she smiled in some of the photos, like there was pain under the mask she put on. Tony turned the digital photo over and on the back, in elegant script, it read,

Sherry Grace Rogers, November 8th, 1937

Another hologram had a very old application that had been approved. It was a name change certificate, changing Sherry Grace Rogers into Steven Grant Rogers. Then there was a bill for a double mastectomy surgery under the name Steve Rogers financed by James Barnes, and school records for Sherry Rogers dating back to when Steve would’ve started school. The birth certificate… Sherry Grace Rogers, female, born July 4th 1918.

Tony had to take a seat in his chair to properly process what he was seeing. No wonder Steve had no paper trail before 1939, he didn’t legally exist until then. Steve Rogers, the all-American poster boy for the war effort in WWII, was actually a trans man. Tony suddenly got flashbacks to when Howard berated him as a kid, of how his dad would compare him to Captain America so damn much. What did it say about Howard Stark that he held a queer person in such high regards and not his own son, given his homophobic remarks later when Tony started dating?

Well shit… that changed things.

***

Steve hated that he had to stop his search for Bucky for now. They’d been on his trail for only 6 months and Steve already had to go back to New York. Barton and Nat already confirmed they were staying in Avengers Tower, and Tony had arrived a few days ago. It seemed the whole team was coming together to get away from HYDRA.

“It’s been a year, huh?” Sam asked as he drove Steve to the airport.

“I guess.”

“I mean, not just with the HYDRA thing, but I heard Stark almost died taking out the Mandarin a few weeks ago. You guys never seem to catch a break, even on Christmas.”

Steve shrugged. “Comes with the territory, I suppose.”

He looked up at Sam, and his friend seemed solem. He probably understood what Steve was thinking, having to go back to NYC despite Bucky still being out there and all the active HYDRA cells. But if they were going to take down HYDRA for good, they needed all hands on deck.

“I’m still gonna search for him, you know that, right?” Sam asked.

“I know, and I’m grateful for that. It’s just… he still remembers me. He remembers something about me, and I want to be the one to find him.”

Sam comfortingly patted his knee. “I’ll send you a message as soon as I find him. Take the first plane out to wherever we end up and hug your long-lost bestie.”

Steve chuckled. “Thanks, Sam.”

They pulled up to the airport drop off and Steve got out. Thankfully, there were no reporters and no one looking shifty, but there was a man in an expensive suit with a sign that said ‘Rogers’. Steve paused, looked back at Sam, who just shrugged. He’d booked a flight online (with Sam’s help), and all the other flights he’d taken never had this kind of service. He was just thankful he had a Glock in his back pocket just in case. He opened the trunk, got his bags out, and went up to the man with the sign.

“Captain Rogers,” The man greeted. “I’ve been sent by Mr. Stark to escort you to the private jet he’s lent you to fly back to New York.”

“He didn’t need to do that, I’ve got a flight booked-.”

“I already have Dr. Banner onboard, also flying to New York. Mr. Stark insists that you find out how many fireballs it takes for you to get drunk while flying.”

Steve got out his phone and called Tony. With everything that happened with SHIELD, he had to double check these things for a while. Though the message about fireballs and his healing factor did sound like Tony. The line rang four times before he picked up.

“Hey Cap, you get my welcome home present?”

“A flight on your private jet is a welcome home present?”

“Hey, I nearly got blown up a few weeks ago, and you nearly got killed by HYDRA. Better to fly knowing exactly who owns the plane than to take your chances with snot-nosed kids and tired flight attendants. Plus Bruce hates flying, so I figured I’d get you both together.”

Steve smiled. “Thanks for the present of a safe flight to the tower. I’ll try to pick you up a thank you present in return.”

“Your loyalty to the Stark brand is more than enough, Rogers. I’ll see you in a few hours.”

Steve snorted and mumbled, “The Stark brand, sure.”

He waved Sam off and followed the Stark Industries employee through the airport. Some people asked for photos and autographs, which Steve obliged to five before he had to go to the plane. The plane itself was smaller than the passenger jet he’d originally booked, but they didn’t have a million people boarding either. Steve went up the stairs and entered the cabin of the aircraft. It was spacious, with two sets of tables and chairs lining the sides.

Bruce was already seated in one of the chairs with a laptop on the table. He only had one bag, an old leather duffel bag that had seen better days. Steve had his backpack, his duffel bag, and his shield case. He suddenly felt overpacked. Bruce looked up and gave his usual timid smile.

“Captain,” He greeted and shut the laptop.

“Doctor.”

Steve put his bags in one of the overhead compartments, but kept the shield case out just in case. If HYDRA could worm its way into SHIELD and Howard Stark founded SHIELD, who knew what else they had infiltrated. Not many people knew he carried guns in the war outside of his propaganda films, so he also had that element of surprise.

“I think between the two of us,” Bruce said, eyeing the round case. “We’d be able to handle a few guys hijacking a plane.”

“Maybe, but fighting on a plane means chances of us damaging it enough to crash it.”

Bruce shifted uncomfortably in his seat. “I think I prefer the helicarriers to small private jets. I’m not sure how you could keep flying after…”

Steve sighed. “I crashed the plane to save the US from being bombed. This is just flying to base.”

“Plane crash… US bombing… that rings an uncomfortable bell.”

“The Chitauri probably made 9/11 look like child’s play. But I’m not sure whether to be thankful that it wasn't HYDRA or not.”

“It wasn’t? That’s… surprising.”

Steve leaned back in the incredibly comfortable chair. “I haven’t even read everything they’ve done, but I reckon it’s… a lot.”

There was one issue Steve had been trying to figure out how to handle since he’d read Bucky’s mission reports. How could he tell his teammate that his old best friend murdered his parents? The team knew he was searching for Bucky, Nat and Clint knew how bad Bucky’s rap sheet was, but they’d all agreed to not tell Tony yet.

“Bruce,” Steve said. “You know Tony better than I do.”

“Whether I like it or not.”

“Do you know the best way to break bad news to him? Even if it could… ruin the team?”

Bruce’s eyes widened. “Team-ruining information? That’s a lot.”

“Yeah. And it’s a sore spot because… it has to do with Howard and Mariah. About the night they died.”

“… you know who did it.”

Steve nodded silently. Bruce was a smart guy, he was a physicist and gamma expert for a reason. He’d probably figure out why Steve was worried and who did it based on the information the media had been focusing on. They just got to Bucky’s files recently in the dump, and there were several warrants out for his arrest for several political assassinations over the years.

Based on the look on Bruce’s face, he got it. “Barnes did it, that’s why you’re afraid to tell him.”

Steve nodded again.

“And you just spent half a year searching for him. You’re worried Tony will hate you for protecting a murderer.”

“He’s not a murderer,” Steve defended. “He’d been brainwashed for 73 years, he didn’t know what he was doing.”

Bruce rubbed his hand over his eyes from under his glasses. “That’s a lot for someone to take in, I can’t even imagine what it’ll be like for Tony.”

Steve was almost tempted to ask Bruce to tell Tony instead, but that was a coward’s choice. Tony deserved to hear the truth from him, even if it meant ending their friendship. He just wanted to make it a bit easier on him and lessen the chances of ending the Avengers.

“Tony’s my friend, but Bucky was there for me when no one else was. I have this gut feeling that he remembers me, he could’ve killed me but he didn’t after I said what we always said to each other. He was the only one who could have pulled me out of the river.”

Bruce adjusted in his seat. “I hate to say it, but I don’t think there’s a way to relay that information without someone getting hurt. Y’know, Tony’s been through a lot the past couple weeks, so have you, so I’d tread carefully with this. Maybe wait a little while so everyone gets into a sort of groove at the tower.

“You need to see how well you work together and strengthen that bond before you tell him. He could kick you out right now if you told him, he doesn’t have much incentive to not hate you outside of you being Captain America, and he got too much of an earful about you as a kid.”

“An earful about me?”

Bruce opened his laptop again. “Ask him what Howard said about you before he died. That’s all I can say.”

Bruce had clearly checked out of the conversation, so Steve got out his moleskin journal and wrote ‘ ask Tony about Howard’ . Steve couldn’t understand how Howard could be all that bad of a father. When they worked together during the war, he kept flamingos in his lab and treated Peggy like an equal unlike the other men she reported to. Even when Steve got the physical prior to the serum and the mastectomy scars were obvious, he didn’t bat an eye. He just said,

“I’ve heard about people like you before in medical journals. There’s records dating back to medieval times, so it can’t all be nonsense.”

Now that he thought about it, Steve also added to the list of things to look up ‘trans history’ . And honestly, what Bruce said about kicking Steve out, maybe he deserved to be kicked out for something like that. It would be better to tell Tony upfront about Bucky instead of waiting since waiting could make it worse.

***

At the tower, Tony added some finishing touches to the prototype he’d been working on as an apology present for Steve. He probably got put on another watchlist by buying black market vibranium, but he could tell the government agents who called that he didn’t want to rob Wakanda like his colonizer ancestors. He was buying from the robbers to put toward technology the world needed.

“Sir, the hired car has left LaGuardia Airport.”

“Almost got it…” Tony mumbled. A few more manual tweaks to the sensors, and it was finished. “Done! ETA?”

“Fifteen minutes.”

Tony got up from the workbench and wiped his hands on his jeans. He really hoped that his present would offset the shittiness of what he did three days ago, which was why he’d specifically gone off his BiPolar meds so he could during the mania. Given that it was 10:30 am, he decided to take the medication so Pepper wouldn’t berate him if she asked.

 

Steve hadn’t been to New York in over a year, and it was clear there was still damage leftover from the Chitauri attack. Some buildings were still under reconstruction, Grand Central’s roof was still half collapsed, but Stark Tower - Avengers Tower - looked brand new. There was even a memorial statue in front of it to honor the casualties in the Battle of New York.

The car pulled into the underground garage and let them out at the elevator. A camera angled down at Steve and Bruce to scan their faces, and a robotic voice said,

“Facial recognition confirmed. Welcome Captain Rogers and Doctor Banner.”

The elevator opened and they stepped in. There were over 150 floors to choose from, Steve didn’t know what the residential floor was. He looked to Bruce, who shrugged.

“Top five floors are Research and Development, that’s all I know.”

“Allow me to assist, Doctor Banner,” A familiar voice said.

Steve jumped, but Bruce smiled. “Jarvis, nice to hear you again.”

“You as well, Doctor. Which facility do you require at this time?”

Steve looked at the camera in the corner of the elevator. “Could you take us to the residential area?”

“There are the apartments, the communal kitchen and dining area, communal gym, communal living and entertainment suite, and bar area. Sir has a private floor, but that requires special access to take you to that floor.”

“The apartments should be fine, Jarvis,” Bruce said.

The elevator went up… and kept going up. Steve shifted from foot to foot while they waited, unsure of what exactly Tony thought would fit their apartment styles. He’d shipped his things from DC a week ago with Agent Carter’s help, so he knew his record player was here. The Smithsonian at least had the decency to hand over his personal belongings he’d left in Brooklyn when he was enlisted. As soon as the elevator stopped, the doors opened to reveal Natasha waiting, casually eating an apple.

“Took you two long enough,” She teased.

Steve smiled. “Didn’t mean to keep you waiting.”

He gave Nat a quick hug and grabbed his bags off the floor. Bruce looked flustered… and Nat gave him an actually sweet smile. Steve looked between them, but he didn’t say anything.

“Tony’s been waiting for you,” Natasha said to Steve as they got out.

“Me?”

“He’s been working in his lab for three days straight. All he said is it’s something for you.”

Hopefully it’d be a decent upgrade to his suit, the one he got out of storage after SHIELD fell was outdated and still had damage from the Chitauri. Jarvis told Steve which apartment was his and he quickly dropped his bags in the entry hall before he headed to Tony’s lab. He wanted to get this conversation over with sooner rather than later.

 

“Captain Rogers entering the workshop, Sir,” Jarvis reported.

Tony was nervous, especially since he didn’t know if his apology gifts would be accepted. He’d had a few friends who were trans in the past, but they’d all been put off by his winning personality pre-Afghanistan (did that even count as winning?) and split. He did research during his mania and came up with the best solutions possible to make Steve forgive him for his snooping. Whatever happened now was up in the air.

When Steve walked through the door, he looked upset. Tony couldn’t blame the guy, he’d had to pull out of his mission of finding his long-lost war buddy so they could find out what all HYDRA had taken from their missions. Pierce had definitely been pushy when they arrested Loki about the scepter, so that was probably a good start.

“The spangly ice-man returns,” Tony greeted.

Steve smiled. “Glad to see you in one piece.”

“I thought about not being in one piece, getting the arc reactor removed, but then the doctors said I’d have heart issues without it, and that’s not really something a superhero should have to check on when fighting monsters.”

“You know I used to have heart problems, right?” Steve asked, as he sat down on a stool.

‘Used to’ being the key phrase here, now you can break buses in half and not break a sweat.”

 

Steve wrung his hands together and looked down at the floor. Figuring out a plan of attack in the middle of a war zone was easier than telling Tony about Bucky, but it had to be done. Waiting would only make it worse.

“Tony… there’s something I need to tell you.”

“Oh, I already know.”

Steve gaped. “You-you do?”

“Yeah… I kinda stalked your files a few nights ago, and came across the… Director level clearance stuff.”

Steve was shocked and a little upset. Tony admitted to digging into his personal life pre-serum, which meant he knew Steve’s deadname. He hadn’t looked at the files in two years, but Fury told him they’d found old pictures of him before he lived as a man full-time. The Howlies, Peggy, and Howard had promised to take it to the grave.

“That’s… that’s not what I was going to tell you.”

Tony’s face dropped. “It wasn’t?”

“No, I-. Wait, you looked through my files? And you didn’t ask me?”

 

Tony held his hands up. “I feel bad about it now, especially with what I found out about you. I was already working on my apology gift before this conversation so you know where I stand on this.”

Tony hopped off his stool and grabbed the prototype he’d been working on. To the untrained eye, it looked like one of those birth control arm implants in terms of shape and size. But the vibranium, micro sensors, and lack of birth control in it would clue someone into what it wasn’t.

“Among the files, I read about the effects of the serum on your body, specifically on your testosterone levels. I’ve never seen you grow any facial hair or masculine body hair for that matter, but I assume you menstruate every now and again-.”

“Get to the point, please,” Steve urged with a blush.

“I designed a prototype delivery system for testosterone injections. It’ll contain 15 times the normal dose given your metabolism, and should last for 5 months. I’m trying to make it combat ready so that you don’t bust it from a bad thigh shot - it’d be inserted into the thigh muscle, by the way - so I had to do some shady shopping for enough vibranium to make multiple prototypes and future models. I’ve also contacted the best surgeons in the world to arrange a hysterectomy, if you want it. The healing factor will be tricky, but…” Tony took a deep breath. “I’m sorry for looking through your files, it was a dick move, so I offer these things as an apology.”

Tony was pretty sure he’d done the math right. It only took him three hours to read up on HRT treatments/effects, then another five to read about different medication delivery systems currently in use ranging from injections to surface patches. He’d come to the conclusion that a device similar to those Nexplanon implants would be the best option since sometimes, Steve could be out on a long mission and not have time to pack his T doses. The pellet treatment was too high maintenance to put into practice with a super soldier anyway.

 

Steve was stunned, again. He hadn’t expected Tony to show this level of kindness over him being trans, philanthropy or not. Suddenly, Steve didn’t want to tell him about Bucky’s role in Howard and Mariah’s murder, which threw him for a loop.

“… so it’s vibranium?” Was all Steve could think to ask.

“Yeah. Turns out the old man was wrong about how much vibranium was left in the world, certain black market dealers sell the stuff to the highest bidder.”

“Wait, you bought vibranium off the black market to make me a medication delivery system?”

“If any government goons come knocking on my door, I can tell ‘em I needed it for upgrades for Avengers tech, which is true anyway, it’s just not weaponry.”

“The wonders of being rich and famous,” Steve deadpanned.

“The wonders of being rich, famous, and an Avenger.” Tony looked down at the medicine tube again. “If this works, I'm actually considering making one of my own.”

“For what, exactly?”

Tony sighed. “After years of being nagged by everyone who cared, I finally got a psych evaluation because… well, a few incidents occurred that were out there, even for me, and they weren’t entirely within my control.”

“PTSD?”

“And BiPolar II. I thought staying up for 72 hours straight was just the side effect of being a genius.”

 

Tony didn’t exactly want to get into the whole thing of how his world got turned upside down by the diagnosis. The meds made his mind slower, and Pepper lost her shit whenever she saw him in hypomania because it meant he’d gone off them again. Why did he care that Pepper cared? They were still good friends, and good friends worried about each other’s well-being. Steve, thankfully, didn’t seem bothered by it.

“So you take medications now?” He asked. “Do they help?”

“Sir complains of the medication slowing his mental processes,” Jarvis snitched. “So he will go without medication to work at his previous speeds.”

Tony groaned. “Really? My own AI is being a tattle-tail?”

“You had eight meltdowns during your most recent manic episode. If the team is aware of your unhealthy habits, they can perhaps train you to take your medications as prescribed.”

Steve’s eyes widened. “Eight meltdowns?”

“When something doesn’t work,” Tony explained. “I get… more prone to freak outs, I guess. It’s not that bad, I can handle it.”

“… sounds like how Howard used to be.”

“Really?”

“I figured that we were at war, so he had to be on overdrive in order to make new weapons. He… he acted a lot like you back then.”

To have a theory was one thing, but to have it confirmed by Steve, who knew Howard Stark in his prime, was something else. In therapy, Tony unpacked all of his abandonment issues and both him and the therapist had thought his dad was probably undiagnosed. Neither of them had psychotic episodes (thank god), but untreated patients tended to be horrible parents. The big tip off for Tony were his random mood-swings over anything and everything.

“Be glad he hadn’t been diagnosed way back when, or else you would’ve never gotten the serum or the shield.”