She glides to down to his office. Everyone has gone for the night and she has free reign of the place. It feels a little absurd to twirl around and walk barefoot everywhere as if this is her house, but in a way it is. It’s hers. She needs to drop off all the forms for the clinic they’ve set up, her name next to every line item, every expenditure, whatever they wanted she gave them. She enjoyed the power in it all, being able to fulfill wishes and dreams with just her name on a line. She sent Higgins away early, a family weekend planned and so now she’s heading down to Ted’s office to leave them for him to sign. His desk lamp is on and she shouldn’t be surprised, they’re, without fail, the last two in the office.
She knocks lightly on the door as he certainly wouldn’t have heard her in her bare feet, a different sound announcing her arrival than her usual heels clicking and echoing throughout the hallways.
He looks up and smiles easily. It’s been easy between them. So easy. There had been a distance between them for a couple of months last year and she knew from his own mouth that he was working through all of his childhood trauma, his father, being a father. It felt like a privilege that he divulged it to her. His panic attacks were under control, though she checked him over regularly so she could go to him and help him if needed. He never turned her away or shied away from her touch or her questions when she checked in on him.
The gulf between them had been difficult to bear, and so now they’ve fallen into a routine. Biscuits with the boss continues, despite her reminding Ted that he never needed to bring anything to her except his true self. At times she’s wishes there was more than friendship but she cherished what they had. She didn’t want to ruin it, or ever feel distant from him ever again.
She’s not quite prepared to find him sitting at his desk, leaning back in his chair, glasses perched on his face, a book in hand.
He sets the book down as she comes over to his side, sets the papers on his desk, unable to help herself from tidying while he watches her. She knows he’s watching her so she turns his head to meet his gaze and she smiles, “I didn’t know you wore glasses, Ted.”
“Well, same to you.” He gestures towards her face and she’s forgotten she was wearing them. She only feels a little self-conscious wearing them, a sign of getting older, but she doesn’t mind being herself in front of him.
She quirks an eyebrow at the title, her fingers running over the cover. “Oh, so I see you’re reading up on me?” She laughs.
“Only Daphne du Maurier’s finest.”
She scoffs and leans back against his desk, his legs resting next to hers. “Finest? No, no, I’m afraid that distinction belongs to My Cousin Rachel.”
“Tsk, tsk, Rebecca. ‘Last night I dreamt I went to Manderley again.’ Come on now, an opening line like that? Shifts your whole brain and dives you right into the story.”
She rolls her eyes. She’s discovered Ted is a book fiend, a bibliophile like her. His voracious appetite for books is only met by hers. They meet in bookstores on weekends and go home arms laden. Sometimes he comes over afterwards and they sit in her library quietly reading together, stopping only for tea (for her) and takeout. Those are her favorite weekends.
He contains so many multitudes and she hasn’t yet met a single one she didn’t like or find fascinating. She craves to know everything about him. She can’t stop to think about it for too long. “Why did you pick this book?” A sly smile on her face.
He picks it up, and flips through the pages. “You know I spotted it on my bookshelf, and thought I hadn’t read it in so long, especially now that I have my own Rebecca. Well, not mine, but you know what I mean…a Rebecca in my life.”
He’s flustered by his slip of words, going a little quiet, a little less animated, but she isn’t. She’s not flustered by his words, she wants to be his Rebecca.
She plucks the book from his hands, trying to save him a little, “If memory serves, and it’s been several years for me, since I read it last, that not only is she beautiful and by all appearances perfect, but underneath an absolute fucking psychopath.”
Ted laughs loudly, and nods. “That she is. Nothing like you in that regard. But this Rebecca?” He gestures vaguely towards her. “Actually perfect and famously beautiful.”
He does this, she notices. He does this a lot. Drops these compliments on her in the middle of conversation that it always takes her several beats to come back to earth.
“Ted...thank you,” it’s all she can ever say. She’s not good with receiving compliments, she only knows she should say thank you instead of arguing against it.
She has to turn attention back to the book or else she can’t be in charge of her actions. “I suppose I was sort of traded in for a new Rebecca. She doesn’t even have a name in the book — the second Mrs. de Winter. Though in this case Rupert has found two Rebeccas.”
She smiles, “I don’t have a cousin I fuck, in case you’re wondering.” She smiles, enjoying Ted’s eyebrows raising every time she curses.
He laughs through it, and adds to it, “Do you think Higgins is your Mrs. Danvers?”
“He better not burn down my house.” And they laugh together.
“Alright, hand them over, miss. Let’s see how poor your eyesight is. Trade.” She whips off her glasses and holds them out to him, and he exchanges his for hers. They stare at one another for a moment, Rebecca’s eyes adjusting to his script. “Christ Ted, I think you’ve won this round. You’re officially older than I am.”
She pulls them off her face and hands them back to him as he puts them on. She holds out her hand but instead he fits the glasses back on her face, and brushes her hair back and tucks a strand behind her ear. He’s leaning so close to her that she knows it would take nothing to close the distance between them. He’s so close.
Her hands come up automatically to grip his arms to pull him into her. She’s trying to be conscious of her actions and choices but she can’t help but come back to that this is it. It’s been this for so long. He’s always been the one, it’s so easy to be with him, and so she leans in and presses her lips to his. He doesn’t back away like she thought he might, in an effort to preserve what they have.
Instead he holds her close to him, as he tilts his head to lick deeper into her mouth, and she moans at being in his arms, his body against hers. The air in the room so suddenly changed and she can’t think of anything else than this present moment. How much she needs him, has always needed him. He pulls her tightly against him, and she can feel his cock hard against her hip, and she can’t help but move a hand to palm him through his khakis.
He moans into her mouth, and his hands fall to her ass and grinds himself into her. She thinks she might faint if he keeps this up. If he doesn’t touch her bare skin with his strong hands soon she might have to be more assertive. She might have to coach the coach, and she smiles a little at the thought. She really really does love being the boss.
Ted pulls away, she’s enjoying seeing her lipstick smeared across his face. His eyes are closed and he’s breathing heavily. She’s worried he’s having another panic attack but his hands aren’t fisted at his sides, and his thumb is brushing over her hip bones. She’s still unsure though.
“Ted.” Her hands move to his face, cradling it. “Ted, it’s okay, look at me. It’s okay. Breathe with me.”
He opens his eyes and smiles at her. “I’m okay. It’s not that. I promise. I’d tell you.”
She’s searching his face for something and she can’t seem to find anything clearly readable. She moves in his arms to hug him, suddenly worried she ruined everything they had built between them these last several months. She worries she has yet again let her body and her heart lead ahead of her mind but she knows her mind is there too. She knows it. But maybe he isn’t. Maybe he’s trying to let her down easy. And yet again she’s fucked everything up. As she always does. She’s holding him to let him know it’s okay. “You can tell me,” she tries to keep her voice as even and as light as possible. Though she feels like her heart is breaking a bit.
He pulls away to look at her, holds her hands in his. His eyes searching her face. “I promised myself I wouldn’t sleep with anyone until I sorted myself out. A sort of celibacy vow to not make any big decisions.”
She nods and backs away, “Shit. I’m sorry, Ted. I understand. Of course.”
He grabs her hand and pulls her back to him, flush against him. His voice a whisper in her ear before she can overthink the moment. “But I have been working on myself for months. I’m feeling better, doing better. I’m at my best when I’m around you. This is inevitable.”
“I don’t want to be the reason you break this. If it’s inevitable then we can wait.” Her heart is pounding in her chest. She can be okay with just being in his arms. That can be enough for now. But she hears a deep laugh in her ear, and a rumble from his chest underneath her hands.
“Baby, there’s no way that was going to work when you came into my office tonight barefoot and in glasses. No fucking way.”
His little nickname of baby bounces around in her head, enjoying the way it easily slipped out. He captures her lips in another bruising kiss and he backs her into his desk, his arms on each side of her boxing her in.
Her hands slide underneath his jumper, his oxford, and his t-shirt and she’s cursing the layers between them. She’s not envisioned having him for the first time in his office but she’s certainly thought about fucking him here. Well…everywhere really. He steps into her and unzips the back of her dress with it pooling at her feet. “Fucking hell, Rebecca.” His hands reach out to touch her, gliding across her skin. She moves to take off her glasses and he stops her, his face so serious, “Don’t.”
She doesn’t but scoffs, “What a fucking nerd.” And he laughs as he unclasps her bra and slides her knickers down her legs.
“Get up here, baby.” And he pulls her into his arms and sets her on his desk. So much for tidying it earlier.
He’s still dressed and if it weren’t for the Richmond crest on his jumper he’d look like a college professor. He’s certainly qualified to be one.
He sits back in his chair and it’s the perfect height for this, for his head between her legs. One hand of hers holds herself up behind her as her other threads through his hair. He’s licking broad stripes up her cunt with a flat tongue. She feels him breathing deeply as he continues sucking and licking her. The sounds he’s making are frankly obscene and she can’t care at all. Not when he’s doing this, not when her moans are filling up the room too.
He pauses to look up at her and she smiles at his glistening face, “Did I say you could stop?” He grins and ducks back down, and slips his fingers through her wet folds and she fully leans back against the desk. Her hands palming her breasts and pinching her nipples. Ted hooks his arms around her legs and pulls her closer to him as he puts his mouth back on her, his fingers filling and stretching her as his mouth works her over. Her back curves off the desk, and her legs wrap around his face, she’s so unconcerned for his breathing, she just needs him tightly pressed against her cunt as he makes her come. She doesn’t hear any complaints. “Fuck, Ted,” she cries out as her orgasm crashes through her, her body breaking out in a cold sweat and shaking as her mind goes blank.
Ted slows his ministrations, taking his time, slowly pressing kisses to her as her breathing returns to normal. He lifts her up from the desk and presses a kiss to her mouth, it’s messy and gorgeous. And then he stands from the chair, and she watches him unbuckle his belt and groans in anticipation.
He pulls his top layers off and throws them to the side. His trousers hit the floor next and she hears the clink of his belt along with it. He sits back in the chair, “Come here, baby.” And he pulls her in his lap. She keeps a knee on each side of him as she slowly lowers herself snd takes him inside her. Ted’s pupils are blown wide, darker than she’s seen them. His hands are gripping her waist so tightly that she knows they’re will be bruises. She’s not yet sure she should tell him tighter, but as soon as the thought comes it floats away when she finally sinks down onto him. She’s still savoring the moment of him inside her at last. He grips the back of her head as he kisses her and she starts to move on top of him. She leans back a bit, offering up the front of her body, as she glides over him.
“Fucking Christ, Rebecca.” His hands roam over her body, never landing anywhere particular, just caressing his hands against her skin as she fucks him. She’s not sure how much longer she can last before she comes again with him like this. She moves forward and leans into him and he slaps her ass. She’s a little surprised, didn’t expect it of Ted but he’s looking at her with a wolfish smile. “Again,” she says through her heaving breathing. And he does it again. And then soothes the flesh with the same hand. Her hands are on his shoulders, nails digging into his flesh. “Fuck, you feel so good.” And she grinds down around him.
“Rebecca, I’m going to come. Can I come in you?” It’s easy. The easiest answer she’s given. If it’s anyone it’s Ted. “Yes. Come in me, Ted. I’m close, come with me.” And she moves her lips down to his, pressing a brief kiss there. No way to do anything more with their heavy breathing as Ted’s hands on her ass hold her tightly to him as she rides him.
She shudders as another orgasm tears through her, she tips her head back as her breathing stutters in the room.
Ted kisses her neck, and exhales loudly as he empties himself inside her. His hands keep her still on top of him, and she makes no motion to move at all. Enjoying the feeling of being so thoroughly sated. He leans back in his chair, and tips her back with him so she’s tucked into his chest as his breathing evens out. His fingertips dance in patterns on her back, minutes pass, and eventually she shivers from the cold of the room. “Let’s get you dressed.” He picks her up and sets her back down on his desk. Locates all of her garments and dresses her with such care that she’s worried she might cry a little in this post-orgasmic glow. She stands so he can zip her back up, and then he slips his jumper over the top of her dress. “Warmer?”
She can only nod so her voice doesn’t betray her. He notices. “Hey, you okay?” His face is so full of concern.
“Yeah.” Her voice breaks, and tears fall down her face. “I’m just really happy.”