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The Boyfriend Tag

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The Boyfriend Tag

10M views • 13 September 2021 • 50.5k likes • 7 dislikes

Vago Mundo

3.1M subscribers

Yahoo! Zhongli's bf here! In today's episode, instead of talking about Liyue's history, we're going to talk about Zhongli's! Thanks for bullying Zhongli into doing this hahaha.

#vagomundo #zhongli #boyfriendtag

 

 

The video opens with a man in a long low ponytail, trying to fix the focus of his camera. He sits in front of a room with brick walls. On his right are a fireplace and an ink-wash painting of a mountain on his left. Below the painting is a wooden table with thick books of various subjects on top of it.

"Good fortune, my Adepti. Welcome back to my channel." The man speaks after a cut. Probably to hide however long he spends to focus his camera. "And if you're new, hello. My name is Zhongli, and I welcome you to my humble abode. I'm sorry if this is your first video. You must be confused."

Zhongli fixes his glasses before he continues. "Two weeks ago, I uploaded a video about a tour of the National Museum of Liyue. My partnerwho edited the vlogdecided to prank me by leaving a frame of his face. Of course, my ever analytical Adepti caught it and demanded an introduction."

Someone giggles off-camera. His sound is lighter and more cheery. Zhongli rolls his eyes at what is presumably his partner, an apparent fondness on his eyes.

"Continuing my story." he clears his throat. "Since all of you are very adamant about it, I said I would do it if you can get three million likes on last week's video. Somehow, you did it."

"I'm so proud of this community." The mystery person chimes in.

"Remind me why we can't do this on your channel? It makes more sense."

"But the people demand it! Besides, no one knows about us on my channel because I, for one, am being careful."

The video cuts again. This time, Zhongli is nowhere to be found. However,

"Stop pinching my cheeks, Zhongli! It hurts—ueueueue!"

A small plea is heard off-camera.

The video cuts again with Zhongli in the frame. "Without further ado, please welcome my—"

"Yahoo!" A man comes in from the left edge of the frame. His notable features are the twin braids that frame his baby face and a broad smile across his face. He comes into the frame with such velocity that he bumps Zhongli, earning an exasperated sigh from the man.

"—source of headache."

"How cruel!" Zhongli's boyfriend fakes a cry. "Last night, you called me 'the love of my life' !"

"What can I say? I'm a changed person."

"Zhongliiii," Venti clings on Zhongli as he whines. "Is that how you're playing it?! Really? Because we'll do the ex-boyfriend tag instead if you keep this up."

Zhongli lets out a soft smile. "Truly the source of my headache," he says and pinches the other's nose. "How about you introduce yourself, hm? Lest this video is going to be an hour-long."

"I'm sure they know who I am."

"Cocky, aren't you, my dear?"

The shorter man giggles. He then turns to the camera and waves. "I read the comment, and congratulations to those who figure me out! I'm Venti, but you may know me as Windborne Bard, the best bard in PaimonTube! Check out my channel and subscribe!"

Zhongli stares at Venti. "What?" Venti taunts. "Gotta use every opportunity I got!"

"Of course."

"You're mocking me."

"Whatever makes you think so, my 10-million-subscribers of a boyfriend?"

"You are mocking me!" Venti bloats his mouth like fugu. Zhongli chuckles at his boyfriend's antics and proceeds to nudge on his cheeks.

"Back to the topic at hand," Zhongli says. "We're doing the boyfriend tag today, for whatever reason."

"Because all the cool kids did it!" Venti exclaims. "Besides, don't you want to know how much I love you?"

"Dear heart, nothing in this world could make me doubt your love for me."

There is a long, impregnable silence.

Zhongli tilts his head in confusion as Venti's cheeks gradually turn redder and redder. "Dear?"

Venti lets out an exaggerated sigh and buries himself under his hand.

"Dear?"

 


 

1. Where and how did we meet?

 

The video transitions into a card in turquoise with cheerful music accompanying it. Venti clearly is the one who edits the video. The following questions will be presented similarly.

"I still remember this as clear as day," Zhongli nods, with a hand on his chin." It was at the music store in Teyvat U complex."

"Yep! I worked part-time there. We're on our second year."

"Indeed." Zhongli inclines. His gaze follows Venti softly. "I was on my way to the dorm because on that particular day, I felt like walking instead of riding the campus' bus. I was reading a pocketbook about Liyue folklore when suddenly I heard this beautiful music."

Venti turns to the camera and points at himself proudly. "Of course, it was your favorite resident bard! I was playing the piano at the time, practicing for the final that was like two months away."

Venti huffs. "See, I was a diligent student! It offended me when you didn't believe me!"

"Sure, sure."

"Is that sarcasm I hear!?"

"You passed out drunk a day before your concert, so forgive me for being skeptical," Zhongli says, to which Venti responds by sticking out his tongue.

"Anyway," Zhongli continues. "Venti noticed my presence, got out of the store, talked to me, and the rest is history."

"Tsk, tsk, tsk. My dear Zhongli," Venti puts his hand on the other's shoulder. "You skipped an important detail."

Zhongli looks at Venti in confusion before mouthing, "No."

"Yes."

"I have a reputation to uphold."

"I think after the first one minute, your Adepti know that you're not as imposing as you made it out to be." he snickers and turns to the camera. "You see, Zhongli was startled when I noticed him. So startled that he turned around in a hurry and bumped into a streetlight."

Zhongli's cheeks turn crimson. "Haha, very funny. Can we move on?"

"Awww, babe. Don't be mad!" This time, it's Venti's turn to nudge Zhongli's cheek. "If it weren't for that, we wouldn't be here!"

"You just enjoy teasing me."

"That's just a bonus!" Venti latches onto Zhongli. "Aren't you happy to be with me?"

Zhongli looks at Venti softly before kissing Venti's forehead. "Wouldn't have it any other way."

"Awww, babe! I love you too!"

 


 

2. How long have we been together?

 

"It'll be five years in six months."

"Oh, you remember? I'm surprised!" Zhongli claps his hands. A 'wow!' sound effect pops in the background.

"Babe, people are gonna think I'm a bad boyfriend if you keep this up." Venti rolls his eyes. "Of course I remember! I have something planned for us this year."

Zhongli smirks. "You have?"

"Yep! And it'll be greater than last year's!"

"Better than a one-week vacation to Natlan?"

"Yep! You'll be so shocked and happy you'll cry."

"I see." he gives a gentle smile. "I look forward to it, then."

"You bet!" Venti snorts. "We can vlog it if you want."

That sends Zhongli into deep thought before he smiles at the camera. "We'll see about that."

 


 

3. What were your first impressions of me?

 

"Beautiful. Ethereal. Gorgeous."

Venti puffs out his chest. "Yeah. Keep talking."

"Too bad it turns out you're a gremlin who likes to empty the liquor cabinet and forget to close the toilet seat."

Venti deadpans. "You like to test my patience, don't you? It's not like you're any better, Mr. I-accidentally-use-our-live-savings-to-buy-a-jade-carving-of-Barbatos-and-Morax."

They peer at each other in silence.

"Thank archons, you're cute," Venti says after a while. "I like the way your big round glasses frame your face, and I'm not gonna lie that I had a good laugh when I saw you bumped onto the streetlight."

"I thought you don't like my glasses."

"Yeah, 'cause it gets in the way when we kiss."

Zhongli blinks. Once. Twice. He takes off his glasses then leans into Venti before covering the camera with his hand.

 


 

4. What do I do in my job?

 

The screen cuts to them sitting two feet from each other. They look proper, appearance-wise, but there is a weird air around them.

"Oh boy," Venti fixes his collar. His intentional coughing makes the whole thing more suspicious. "Let's continue."

"Let's." Zhongli's rosy cheeks don't help either. He reads something off-screen and reads the current question. "Do you know what I do?"

"Of course! By day you talk about Liyue's history, customs, and traditions on your youtube channel. But!" Venti poses dramatically. The cheery instrumental in the background change into something more suspenseful. "You have a night job that none of your Adepti knows."

That earns a chuckle. "You made it sound like I'm doing something terrible. But do tell."

"Zhongli is actually in the middle of writing his thesis for his master's degree!" he exclaims. It is obvious that Venti is excited about the topic, with the way his hands flail around. "And let me tell you this; when it comes out people are gonna talk about it!"

Zhongli lets out a fond chuckle. "You're exaggerating, dear."

"And you're downplaying yourself! I might be not the smartest cookie, but based on what you told me it could be groundbreaking." Venti cackled. "Haha, groundbreaking. Get it?"

Zhongli rolls his eyes at the pun.

"Well, my adviser hasn't replied to my proposal so I wouldn't hold much hope. The sources are very scarce too so it could be challenging to research." Zhongli slumps down, feeling dejected.

Venti scoots closer to Zhongli and leans on his shoulder. "You're resourceful." he rubs Zhongli's palm. "You got this."

"Thank you, dear heart," Zhongli practically beams.

"Now, do you know what I do?"

"I think the more accurate question is: who doesn't in PaimonTube?" Zhongli shrugs. "But I'll answer. You're Venti, one of the most popular musicians on PaimonTube. You do a lot of covers, and you arrange, mix, and direct everything yourself. You also write your own songs in your free time and release them from time to time." Zhongli chuckles. "Do I pass?"

"With flying colors!" Venti exclaims. "Next question!"

 


 

5. What do you think I'm talented at?

 

"I know your answer."

"Oh?"

"You'll say 'a recurring headache' or something along that line."

"An excellent deduction, my dear, albeit an incorrect one." Zhongli reaches to caress one of Venti's cheeks. His hand feels rough against Venti's skin, though that doesn't stop Venti from leaning into the touch. They seem to forget that the camera is still rolling, or maybe they are that comfortable in displaying their affection to the public.

"Actually, I was going to answer your sense of musicality," Zhongli utters. "You know your way around music on an instinctual level. You always know what to do to produce a certain sound and how to weave them into a melody with no difficulty. Do you know your music video where you use the kitchen utensils?" Venti nods. "It's fascinating, watching you arrange them so it would produce nice sounds, and easier to film."

"Aww, Zhongli ...."

"There's one more, actually."

"O-oh?"

"Your presence alone is enough made my day. That ought to count for something, right?"

Zhongli winks, and it made Venti into a flustered mess.

Venti breaks free of Zhongli's hold and punches him lightly. "Zhongli, you sap!" he buries himself onto Zhongli's lap, earning a chuckle from the taller man. "Now I have no idea what to say!"

"You can always say something nice," Zhongli answers as he brushes Venti's hair.

Venti sits himself up, facing the camera but glancing towards Zhongli. "Well, you're always good at storytelling. If it weren't for you, I probably wouldn't pass history class," he adds. "You always manage to simplify even the most complicated things, and I just can't understand how your brain works to manage that."

"Ah, thank you. History is my main major, so I concur I'm more used to it than you are."

"Yeah, and your good memory helps too! Especially at trivia,"

Zhongli smirks. "Ah, yes. If I recall correctly, I'm on my fifteenth winning streak, aren't I?"

"Now you're just rubbing it on my face! See what I have to deal with here?!" Venti turns towards the camera, a small pout on his face. Zhongli only laughs at his reaction.

 


 

6. Am I a dog or a cat person?

 

"Neither." Zhongli quickly states. "You are a bird person. You are free-spirited, loves to speak your mind, and loyal to a fault."

"And you're a lizard person!" Venti counters. "You're cunning, you only open yourself up to people who you're familiar with and overprotective on what's yours—particularly to your pets."

"Azhdaha and Osial are good kids. They're usually quiet if it weren't for Dvalin prancing around." Zhongli huffs, looking offended that Venti insinuates his pets.

The video pauses for a little and three photos pop on the screen. The first photo is of a bearded dragon labeled "Azhdaha". The second one is a green tree phyton labeled "Osial". The last one is a green parakeet labeled "Dvalin".

"What can I say? Dvalin is mischievous." Venti shrugs. He doesn't feel sorry at all and it's apparent that Zhongli is annoyed with him, with the way he frowns.

"Like master, like pet, I suppose." Zhongli concurs.

 


 

7. What is your pet name for me?

 

"Blockhead!"

"Recurring migraine."

"Stoneface."

"Puny wind-sprite."

"Mr. Extravaganza!"

"Lord Drunkard."

"Grandpa."

"Midget."

"Big nerd."

"Little gremlin."

"Old rock."

"Beloved songbird."

Venti's face goes redder as he whines, "Babe!"

"Yes, dear heart?"

Venti combusts on the spot. The cheery background music stops as Venti stays still. After a moment, the music continues again as Venti giggles and leans onto Zhongli's shoulder. "Love you, my precious muse."

Zhongli looks at Venti fondly. "I as well, the love of my life. But you already know that." He grasps Venti's palm and gives it a quick kiss, earning another giggle from the other man.

 


 

8. How would you describe my style?

 

There is a pop-up on the screen that says: "we're talking about our editing style because we're PaimonTube Nerds™".

"Yours is very cheery, that's for sure." Zhongli answers. "I'm sure you can guess with the way this video is edited."

"Now, wait for a second! This video is for your channel!"

"And?"

Venti jeers and pokes on Zhongli's stomach repeatedly. "Edit your own video, then!"

"I'm sure they won't mind another one of your edits. You all enjoy my last vlog, right?" Zhongli winks at the camera. Know that he won't win the argument, Venti lets out an exasperated sigh.

"This is why I told you to take an editing class."

"My editing is fine!" Zhongli pouts. "But I can't deny yours is more interesting. It just doesn't fit my usual content very well."

"I know my editing is superior to yours, but thanks for the acknowledgment." Venti puffs out his chest, looking real smug. That is until Zhongli pinches his nose, making Venti whine again.

 


 

9. Who is my best friend?

 

"That would be Guizhong, Retuo, and Osial! And it's not Osial the snake! " Venti waves his hand to the camera. "Zhongli just has a weird naming sense."

"Well, Osial named his gecko Zhongli, so I'd figure I'll return the favor," Zhongli says. A photo of a crested gecko winking pops on the screen. A man with blue hair is also seen holding the gecko, but his face is cropped from the picture.

Zhongli continues. "Yours would be Aether and Lumine from The Travelling Twins channel, right?"

"That's right!" Venti puts two thumbs up. "I've known them since I was in high school. Aether and I went to the same school, while Lumine and I attended the same crammer."

"That's even longer than mine." Zhongli looks amazed. "I met mine at the orientation. We were the first students to arrive on the first day of orientation."

"But the orientation started at five in the morning?"

"And we were there at four."

"Seven archons, no wonder the four of you are such workaholics!" Venti shakes his head in amusement.

"Anyway," Venti turns to the camera. "if you're ever interested in traveling and nature, you can click the 'i' icon to go to their channel!" Venti points to the general area of the icon, where it extends to a link to the twins' channel.

"My favorite is the one where they were chased by a bear," Zhongli utters.

"Ahahahaha! That one is hilarious! I still remembered the night after when Aether called me about almost getting killed!" Venti wheezes. "If you want to know what we're talking about, I'll link that video on the 'i' icon. For now, let's continue the question!"

Zhongli nods in agreement, ignoring the fact Venti is basically taking the lead despite the video is for Zhongli's channel.

 


 

10. What is my favorite restaurant?

 

"You would say Angel's Share even though it's a bar and not a proper restaurant."

Venti quickly covers the Liyuean's mouth. "Diluc, don't listen to that! Angel's Share is the best bar-slash-restaurant ever and it deserves every Michelin star that it gets!"

"You only said that because he often gives you his new wine sample."

"What? No!" Venti lets out an exaggerated sigh. "I stuck with him because he's a very good friend!"

Zhongli squints his eyes.

"Zhongliiiii, you're jeopardizing my free source of wine!" Venti glares as he pinches Zhongli's back. Zhongli then lets out a big yelp before it was cut.

The video continues with both of them calmer. "Anyway, yours would be that small restaurant in Chihu Rock. Wanwen? No, that's a bookstore—"

"Wanmin."

"Yes! Wanmin!" Venti claps his hands. "If you're looking for the authentic taste of Liyue's homestyle-cooking, that's the place!"

"The chef is fresh out of high school, but she is very talented!" Zhongli chimes in. His voice is full of pride. "She uses a lot of peculiar ingredients for some of her menus but her dishes are flavorful and always on point. Eating her dish is an experience you will not forget." Zhongli does a chef's kiss and stares at the camera. "I guarantee."

"Oooo. That's a high-praise coming from Mr. Picky Eater."

"I'm not picky."

"Zhongli, you criticized Xinyue Kiosk for not using fresh bamboo from Qingce for their Bamboo Shoot Soup. Xinyue Kiosk, a three-star Michelin restaurant!"

There is a long, pregnant, silence between them. Then the video cuts.

 


 

11. What would I eat every day if I could?

 

"Easy! For Zhongli: Bamboo Shoot Soup—slow-cooked, or else he'll nag, nag, nag—awww!" Venti squeals since Zhongli pinches his nose. "That, or Adeptus Temptation paired with Osmanthus Wine."

"For Venti, it's Barbatos' Ratatouille with a 30-years-old Dandelion Wine on the side."

"See, easy peasy lemon squeezy!" With that, they high-five.

 


 

12. Do we have a song? What is it?

 

Zhongli lets out a big smile. "Windborne Bard's Wings of Poetic Melodies."

"Aww, my song?!" Venti coos. The 'i' icon then expands and displays a link to Venti's channel. "This video is turning into a big-ass promotion, isn't it? Hehehe."

"Indeed," Zhongli chuckles. "From your channel, The Travelling Twins', Angel's Share, Wanmin ...."

"You guys better pay us if you get more subscribers or customers!" Venti points at the camera and cackles like a stereotypical cartoon villain. "Except Xiangling, of course. You're a doll."

Zhongli nods.

"And Diluc, 'cause he gives me free wine."

Zhongli deadpans.

The video then cuts again. Its background sound changes from the former cheery music to Wings of Poetic Melodic. It starts with a slow harp playing, then joined with Venti singing the first verse.

"For those who don't know, Venti often uses Mondstadt's history as an inspiration for his song," Zhongli explains.

"Yep!" Venti chimes in. "This particular song tells the origin of the sentry on Stormbearer Point." Venti then jeers. "But of course, our resident Liyue history expert just had to chime in."

"There are substantial pieces of evidence that say Barbatos and Morax are more than close friends."

"As you can see, Zhongli is passionate about that topic. And no, I'm not going to tell you why because I am bound by my contract." Venti zips his lips.

"Anyway," Venti jumps around his seat. "this takes me back. Making that album is so much fun!"

"Indeed. Especially the research part." Zhongli agrees. "It's a breath of fresh air from my usual Liyue lore."

"We read like mountains of books!" Venti adds. "We barely have any rooms to walk!"

The screen then shows a slideshow of photos. The first photo is Zhongli writing a note with stacks of books in the background. The second one is Venti doing a peace-pose in front of a whiteboard full of writing. The third photo is Venti being buried under a mountain of books with Zhongli laughing on the side.

The video continues with a shot of Zhongli. "It was quite a journey, to research for this song. But we settled for this one allegory about them drinking wine."

"Very on-brand of me, if I have to say so myself."

"Of course, my dear," Zhongli replies fondly. "The music video also came out phenomenal. You did a good job directing it."

"Aww, thank you! I got worried that I bit more than I could chew," Venti shrugs. "But we pulled through. You were magnificent as Morax! Especially the part where we banter about pouring the wine on Morax's head—muach—chef's kiss!"

"First time and it was a large-scale project." Zhongli fondly sighs. "All of you can imagine how frightened I was."

"Oh, yeah. You were sweating balls."

"Language."

"Ehe," Venti snickers. "But yeah, it was a fun project. Good choice, Zhongli!"

"Of course. It's our lovechild—it holds a special place in my heart."

"Aww, babe!"

 


 

13. If we could have an ultimate date, what would it be?

 

"Oh archons, another promo!" Venti sing-songs as he shows Zhongli the question card.

"This video is not sponsored by any of the things we mentioned. I promise." Zhongli adds. His eyes never leave the card. He looks serious as if all the gears in his head are turning. Venti is also the same. The video continues with only them thinking until Venti lets out a frustrated sigh.

"We've had many great dates over the years." Zhongli starts to reminiscence. His hand slithers into Venti's palm, which the others greatly appreciate. "Remember our stay at Inazuma?"

"Oh yes! We arrived just in time to see the cherry blossom!" Venti cheers. "Our staycation at that village in Snezhnaya is also good."

"Agreed. The view of the sea is beautiful. The glistening white of the ice, the cackling blue that peeks through the ice's cracks, the way the setting sun's ray showers over them," Zhongli pauses. It seems Zhongli is basking through the memory.

"It's a shame we're only there for two days!"

"Well, we originally went there for your award. We can go back some other time." Zhongli promises. Venti replies with a small 'of course'.

"Let's go back to the question," Zhongli says. "We could start with something we haven't done? Something you would like us to do?"

"I can think of one, but," Venti smirks. "Is there anything you would like to do?"

Zhongli nods.

"Great! Care to share to the class?"

"Well, there is a place at Qingyun, Liyue, called Dwelling in the Clouds," Zhongli explains. "It's a hangout spot, but they also have snacks and mini-resto if you're hungry."

"Oooo." Venti remarks, accompanied by a long 'ooooo' sound effect. "What's special about this place?"

"It floats."

"If floats?!"

"It floats."

"For real?!" Zhongli proudly nods.

"Yes. That's why you have to reserve to get there since it's very popular. It's high in the air, and if you're lucky, you'll be swimming in fog."

"Hmmm, alright. Duly noted!" Venti nods. His smirk still plasters on his face. The video lingers for a few seconds with just Venti nodding around. Of course, that piques Zhongli's interest.

Then, Zhongli addresses the elephant in the room. "My dear, you're acting suspiciously."

"Am I?"

"You have this ... smile."

"I'm always smiling!"

"I know a wicked smile when I see one."

"Seven Archons, how dare you!" Venti gasps dramatically. "Let's just move on! We still have many things to go through!"

Venti goes to pick another question while Zhongli looks at the camera and shakes his head, telling the audience that he's not buying it.

 


 

14. What was the first thing you gave me?

 

"Something people pay you for but I got for free."

Venti barks into a burst of laughter.

"You—I was talking about your performance—"

"Pffft—"

"Venti."

"Okay, okay! I'll stop!" Venti tries to stifle his laugh. Zhongli only folds his hands and huffs, but his face is incredibly red.

It takes a while, but Venti eventually calms down. "You were talking about our first date, right? The dinner at the bar near our uni?"

"Yes." Zhongli nods. "There was an open mic there," Zhongli pretends to hold out a microphone, "you took it when the singer offered you." 

Venti chuckles. "Hahaha, I did."

Zhongli then pretends to hold a guitar. "You grabbed a guitar and then,"

Zhongli strums.

"And everyone was just blown away."

"You're exaggerating." Venti giggles. He leans onto Zhongli's shoulder. "Were you blown away?"

"I asked for a second date, didn't I?"

Venti cracks another laugh. "Yep! You were so bold, especially after you just gave your first gift—your tab."

Zhongli shakes his head and hides below his hands. Venti continues to laugh as he pats Zhongli's back in sympathy.

(Then the video goes black with only a photo of a clear white box. Inside it, is a simple bracelet with a small golden-colored stone encased.

"We forgot to mention Zhongli's actual first gift to me," Venti says in a voice-over. "We had our second date at The National Museum of Liyue, and Zhongli brought me this Cor Lapis bracelet, hahaha."

The video then transitions into the next question).

 


 

15. Am I comfortable with public displays of affection?

 

"What do you think?" Venti asks. Both he and Zhongli jiggle their eyebrows towards the camera before they get their face closer and closer and closer and closer—

 


 

16. Describe me when I'm super tired

 

"Well, see for yourself."

Venti slumps on Zhongli's shoulder. His cheeks are rosy, and his eyes look droopy. It seems like Venti is saying something, but it isn't caught on camera. Though whatever it seems to amuse Zhongli since the latter laughs and proceeds to brush the other's head.

The video then cuts to Venti now sitting straight again while Zhongli is trying to fix the camera.

"Who knows answering questions on camera could be this tiring!" Venti muses. "We had to take a wine break to recuperate."

"There wasn't supposed to be any wine involved." Zhongli protests, even though he pulls Venti closer. "And you, my dear," he flicks Venti's nose. "are the one who suggested this. We could've just made a quick video to reveal you."

"But that's boring!" Venti's cheeks inflate like a balloon. "But, I supposed we could've kept the list shorter."

"Only four more questions left. Hang in there, my dear." Zhongli cheers.

 


 

17. What's my favorite time of year?

 

"Every season has its own merits," Zhongli utters. "For example, spring is the perfect time to have some wine with friends amidst the blooming flowers. Summer is perfect for traveling since it has long days. While autumn is the time to cool down, take a step back, and relax."

"What about winter?"

"The season to spend with your loved ones with some cuddles by the fireplace."

"Awww," Venti scoots closer to Zhongli. "So, which one is your favorite?"

"It doesn't matter."

"Why?"

"Because," Zhongli smiles. "I'm spending them with you."

 


 

18. What are my bad habits?

 

"What you witnessed just now!" Venti immediately cuts in. "He does this a lot! He'll tease me again and again and then BLAM!" Venti punches his fist onto his palm. "He hits me with an unexpected flirting!"

"Do you not like it?" Zhongli raises his eyebrows.

"I didn't say that. It's just, you know," Venti folds his hands. "It can be a little ... excessive."

"Hmm. I see." Zhongli pauses for a while, then says, "Do you know what else is excessive?"

"What?"

"Your inability to put the toilet seat down."

"Seven Archons," Venti curses under his breath. "I forget to do it, like, five times yet you always bring it up!"

"Because it affects our hygiene, my dear," Zhongli fixes his glasses. "If you flush without the toilet seat down, the poop particle will fly around the room, and worse, land in our toothbrushes. Would you like to kiss a mouth full of poop?"

"You'll kiss me regardless."

Zhongli blinks, then smiles, then goes for a quick swoop on Venti's lips.

"Whining is unbecoming of a gentleman, my dear," Zhongli smirks.

"So does indulging people, grandpa, but you don't see me complaining."

"Touché."

Venti giggles and pokes on Zhongli's cheek. "While we're at it, will you not say 'poop' with a straight face again? One of these days I'm gonna lose it!"

"I am amendable to that." Zhongli agrees. "But, only if you promise me to close the toilet seat from now on."

"Only if you agree to eat your fish!"

Zhongli's face morphs to being disgusted. "Then it seems we have come to an impasse."

Venti laughs and whispers to the camera. "Zhongli really hates fish because he thinks they're slimy. Weird, right?"

"It is not!"

"Yeah, yeah. But I'm gonna stop you now before you make an impromptu presentation on why fish doesn't fit your palate." Venti pulls out a new card. "Onto the next question!"

 


 

19. What are my good habits?

 

"Let's do a quick round of five!" Venti suggests. "If you take more than three seconds to come up with an answer, you'll be punished!"

Venti gives a naughty smirk and wiggles his eyebrows. Meanwhile, Zhongli is seen desperately trying to hold back his laugh. The video then cuts to Venti and Zhongli doing a five-round of rock-paper-scissors before Zhongli emerges victorious.

"You always greet our neighbors." Zhongli starts. "We wouldn't get along with them if it weren't for you."

A 'ding-ding-ding' sound effect reverberates in the air. "My turn," Venti says. "You are ... umm ...."

"Struggling already, my dear?"

"Shut up! You're trying to distract me!" Venti quickly covers Zhongli's mouth. "I got one! You're very organized. Our home is always tidy and it's always easy to look for things." Another 'ding-ding-ding' sound effect rings. Venti then lets out a content sigh and points at Zhongli. "Your turn again!"

"You always say good night to our pets, and they will always reply back. It is adorable to see." Zhongli chuckles. "We don't have to deal with weird night activities because they know it is time to rest."

Another ding.

"You always finish whatever it is you're doing. The book you start reading? You'll finish it by the end of the week. The random questions I ask that you don't know the answer to? You'll have the answer the next day. The new recipe you're trying? You'll be only cooking it until you master it."

Another ding.

"You never forget to give back, even back when we were still students."

Another ding.

"You always keep your words, and because of that I will always trust you."

Another ding.

"When we're out, you will always look for my hand unconsciously." Zhongli smiles.

Venti deadpans. "You know why I do that?"

"To keep me from emptying our bank account?"

Another ding yet again.

"Another one ... uhh ...." Venti trails. "You always wake me up with fragrant tea!"

"And?"

"And a kiss on my temple, of course. How could I forget that?" Venti sarcastically remarks. Another ding rings in the air.

"Speaking of kisses, my last answer has something to do with that." Zhongli's gaze softens. "Can you guess what it is?"

"I always kiss you every time I go out so you would be less lonely?"

"Ding-ding-ding!"

"Hey, that's cheating!" Venti protests. "Guess my answer then!"

"I always bring something for you after I go out. Whether if it's a takeout or trinkets I found on my way home, so you know that I haven't forgotten about you." Zhongli looks smug. "Am I right?"

"A hundred-point for you!" Venti cheers. They both turn to the camera and put their thumbs up, with a cheer in the background.

 


 

20. What have you learned from being in a relationship with me?

 

Zhongli looks at Venti softly. He then takes Venti's hand and gives it a quick kiss. "It is alright to let loose sometimes, and how fantastic life is when there is someone wonderful by your side."

"Awww, babe. You're making me blush!" Venti cheers. He takes Zhongli's hand and gives it a light squeeze. "Being with you has been very pleasant, and I wouldn't trade it for anything in the world."

"Except for Dawn Winery's wine?"

"Nope!" Venti shakes his head. "Not even that."

"Venti," Zhongli is taken aback. "That's very sweet, even if it isn't like you. You love your wine."

Venti squints his eyes. "I know what you're doing, and I'm not gonna fall for it."

Zhongli just laughs.

Then Venti continues. "Being with you made me a VERY patient person. First, because you're so dense it took you literally a year before you asked me to be your boyfriend. But now, it's because  you pull things like this."

"My apologies, my dear. I was only messing around." Zhongli chuckles. "I, too, wouldn't trade you for anything in the world. Even my jade carving of Barbatos and Morax."

"Oh, wow," Venti whistles. "That's the sweetest thing you've ever said to me. Thank you!" then they laugh.

 


 

"And we're done! That took forever!" Venti cheers. There is a confetti visual effect on the screen, accompanied by a chorus of cheers and claps. Both Zhongli and Venti are stretching their backs for quite a while. A quiet 'pop' sound is added every now and then during that scene to exaggerate things.

"Just in time too," Zhongli adds. "I think the camera is about to die."

"Ah, the bar isn't even there anymore!" Venti panics. "Quick! A closing remark!"

The video cuts to Zhongli waving to the camera. "Thank you, Venti, for joining me in today's video."

Venti nods. "Thanks as well. We have fun doing this, and I hope you guys as well!" Venti says to the camera.

"Check out his channel, link on description." Zhongli and Venti point down. "And thank you, my Adepti, for watching this video. I will see you later. Good fortune."

"Good fortune!" Venti chimes in before the video end.