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You're Loved

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Set after Zhan zhao pretended to be a suicidal to capture a man pushing victims off a bridge / "helping" them with their suicides. ZZ's performance, all his sadness, despair and self deprecate seemed so real that left the SCI members with a strange feeling especially Bai yutong.

After Bao sir sent them home to rest BY couldn't shake that feeling off of him.
Zhan zhao took a shower and when he got out he found Bai Yutong sitting on the sofa watching television, as soon as the mouse noticed it, he indicated him to come closer, took his hand and said

"Isn't that my sweater?" while raising an eyebrow.

"Mmm yep, yes it is" replied the cat

At that moment Bai yutong pulled him until he was sitting on his lap and hugged him tightly.

Zhan Zhao perceived the distress coming from Bai yutong and that he was squeezing him a lot like if he was afraid of letting him go.

"What's up mouse?"

"You don't think like that, do you?"

"You mean what I said on the bridge?" yutong nodded

"Don't be ridiculous, it was just a performance"

"I was really scared, I felt like my heart was breaking."

He hesitates a little before asking.

"Was it true what you said about the failed suicide attempt?"

Zhan zhao sighs and nods.

Bai Yutong is perplexed, he can't believe that Zhan Zhao, his cat, his kitten tried to commit suicide and he hadn't found out, he hadn't noticed any signs. He lets out a shaky breath and tightens his grip on zz.

"When was it? How? Who found you? Why didn't you tell me anything?"

"Wait wait there are many questions, I will answer you all just... can we change position?"

Bai yutong nods and Zhan Zhao accommodates them, now yutong is laying down in the couch with the cat on top of him with his face hidden in his neck and his arms around his torso. The mouse runs his hand through his hair in a comforting manner while the other is securely secured at his waist. He just waits he knows that when cat's ready he'll speak.

A few minutes pass when Zhan Zhao begins his story

"You know that my dad never cared about me,never spoke to me unless it was to criticize something that according to him I was doing wrong. I always was left all alone in that big house hell he didn't even cared if I had eaten or not. Also you know that he didn't show up to any of the family activities at school, he kept me waiting in the hope that he was going to show up until i realized he wasn't going to and he never would care about me so i gave up..."

Bai yutong tighten his embrace and Zhan Zhao just sighs knowing that this is the most difficult part.

" day i was alone in the house like any other day and I started to think 'What did I do wrong? Why doesn't he love me? Will he care if something happens to me? Maybe he'll be happier if I'm not around' I grabbed one of my sheets and made a knot I got on a chair and hung it on the lamp that was on the ceiling, put it around my neck and kicked the chair,I was left hung up and naturally started fighting and kicking for the lack of air but after a while I gave up and passed out"

"The next thing that I know is that I was on the floor with A-yi crying and doing CPR on me,she noticed that I woke up and hugged me so tight while repeating over and over again 'it's okay, everything is fine, I'm going to take care of you, you will no longer be alone i promise'."

"I couldn't remember why she was there and when I asked her she told me 'I invited you to dinner but you didn't show up so I thought that you were too caught reading a book again so I came looking for you' that's why she found me. And since then she would made sure that I eat,if i was sick she would take care of me and many other things but the most important at least for me is that she kept his promise and never left me alone"

Zhan zhao felt something wet in his neck and lifted his head realizing that Bai yutong was crying.

"Xiao-Bai what's wrong? why are you crying?"

But instead of answering he just buried his head in the cat's neck and whispered

"I'm so so sorry cat,if I had noticed before maybe you wouldn't have done that"

"Silly mouse it's okay it wasn't your fault at all,besides you did helped me you took care of me just like A-yi did"

"Still...wait you didn't answer one of my questions"

"¿What? ¿I though that i answered it all?"

"You never mentioned when was it"

"Ah...Well that doesn't matter" he said while avoiding the glare that Bai yutong was giving him

"¡Of course it matters! Stupid cat you have to tell me don't even think about lying or i would never cook for you again"

"Ugh fine blackmailing mouse" he sighed and looked everywhere except yutong "I was eight"

For the third time that day Bai yutong was left in shock

"Oh my god kitten,you were just a baby."

"Yeah well,it doesn't matter any more I'm living a happy life with people I know they love me and a blackmailer mouse as a boyfriend " He said while giving said mouse a gentle smile and a fond look.

Yutong smiled back and said "It is good that you know that many people love you and that they would suffer a lot if something happened to you" he said while placing small kisses on the face of his kitten "And well about your boyfriend I think he's more than good since he has to deal with a cheeky cat "

"Oh yeah? well maybe i could forgive the blackmailing if he makes me dinner"

Bai Yutong just chuckles and kisses him on the lips.

When they part, he looks at zhan zhao's eyes and caress his face gently whispering the promise of a dinner and an unconditional love towards the cat before sealing their lips again in a loving kiss.