Work Header

fruity pruity

Chapter Text

Hello! My name is Franoqc just call me Frano if ur gonna comment- anyway so I'm here to tell u info ur gonna need when reading this ff (like whos in which class whos in which dorm etc) so first ill tell u ships

also this is just a giving info chapter







Hu Tao/Yanfei




Ei/Yae Miko




Freshmen: Bennett,Chongyun,Razor,Fishl,Xingqiu,Barbara,Sara,Noelle,Xingling,Xinyan,Razor

Junior: Scaramouche,Ayaka,Thoma,Kazuha,Sucrose,Hu Tao,Yanfei,Rosaria, Gorou, Mona, Aether,Lumine

Senior: Albedo,Jean,Kaeya,Diluc,Ei,Kokomi,Miko,Ningguang,Zhongli,Keqing,Beidou, Eula, Ganyu, Lisa, Childe, Venti, Xiao, Yoimiya, Miko,Kokomi, Dainsleif, Baizhu, La Signora, Dottore, Ayato.



Ok so here r the dorms.....

Dorm 43: Xiangling,Fischl,Rosaria,Amber

Dorm 26: Sara,Lumine,Ei,Miko

Dorm 51:Eula, Sucrose, Xinyan, Ayaka

Dorm 12: Mona,Beidou,Ningguang,Yanfei

Dorm 44: Barbara,Jean,Hu Tao, La Signora

Dorm 35: Kokomi,Lisa Yoimiya

Dorm 24: Keqing, Ganyu, Sayu, Diona,Klee


Dorm 40: Zhongli,Xingqiu,Aether

Dorm 18: Scaramouche,Kazuha,Gorou,Ayato

Dorm 22: Venti,Xiao,Childe,Thoma

Dorm 37: Kaeya,Diluc,Dottore,Dainsleif

Dorm 9: Bennett Chongyun,Razor

Dorm 56: Albedo,Paimon,Oz,Teucer,Baizhu


Dorm notes !!!

-Albedo, Baizhu, Keqing and Ganyu all agreed on taking care of the children because they wanted to. Sometimes Albedo and Baizhu switch dorms with Keqing and Ganyu so that the kids see more ppl.

-Xingqiu often goes to Dorm 9 to hang out

-there are other students who don’t live in dorms

-theres are 1094 (like the school goes from kindergarden to college LMAO-) students in school but only 159 people live in dorms.

-Fischl visits Oz every 3 days

-Childe visits Teucer basically everyday

-Sometimes Xiao comes by to plays the flute in the background while Ganyu and Baizhu read books with Qiqi.

-Paimon often goes to either Lumine,Aether or Dainsleifs dorm to help with school work or for advice.

-Lumine often makes cookies monthly for Paimon while Aether delivers them.

-Kaeya and Diluc take turns on bringing Diona to buy cat merch and I know it.





19-Scaramouche,Kazuha,Gorou,Lumine,Rosaria,Aether,Thoma,Hu Tao,Yanfei,Mona,Kokomi,Lisa, Sucrose

20-Dainsleif,Jean,Ningguang,La Signora,Ei,Yae Miko,Keqing,Ganyu,Yoimiya,Baizhu,Dottore,Kaeya,Ayato,Venti,Xiao,Zhongli,Childe,Eula,Amber,Itto



13-Paimon, Oz


9-Klee, Teucer




Ok so ik how Albedos age is 17 rn BUT HERE ME OUT- I just know that sly fucker skipped grades. Also Fischl,Noelle,Ayaka,Kokomi and Lisa all skipped one grade and Beidou got held back one grade. Also lovley Fran here skipped one grade B)


Family tree LMAOO-

Diluc and Kaeya are bros while Diona is their cousin.


Aether and Lumine are twins while Dainsleif and Paimon r theyre cousins. Paimon and Dain are siblings


Xiao and Ganyu are siblings while Baizhu and Qiqi r theyre cousins. Baizhu and Qiqi r siblings


Kokomi and Gorou are siblings


Fischl and Oz are sibling


Jean and Barbara are siblings


Yoimiya and Sayu r sisters


Ayaka and Ayato r siblings


Childe and Teucer r bros

Scaramouche and Ei are siblings

Shenhe is Chongyun aunt



Classes bitches


There r 3 grades and each have 2 classes in college for this school


1-1 : Razor, Barbara, Xingling, Bennett, Fischl


1-2 :Xingqiu,Chongyun,Sara,Xinyan, Noelle


2-2 :Scaramouche, Kazuha, Sucrose, Gorou, Lumine, Rosaria


2-1 : Aether, Ayaka, Thoma, Hu Tao, Yanfei, Mona


3-1 : Dainsleif, Jean, Beidou, Ningguang, La Signora, Kokomi, Ei, Diluc, Yae Miko, Keqing, Ganyu, Yoimiya


3-2 : Albedo,Baizhu,Dottore,Kaeya,Ayato,Venti,Xiao,Zhongli,Childe,Lisa,Eula,Amber,Itto



Ok so here is the student council, what they do and who is in it. Ok so they're basically the second principal of the school.


At the top of the ladder is the student council president Dainsleif, next are the 2 vice-presidents Jean and Ningguang. After that is Ei, Kokomi, Ayato,Keqing and Zhongli. Next is Yae Miko, Ayaka, Thoma and Ganyu. Just after that is Albedo, Lisa and Sara. Then theres Eula, Mona and Diluc and at the bottom of the ladder is Amber.


Here are the rumors circulating around most of the student council member because that shit happens- some of them don’t have rumors btw


They say that the only reason Dainsleif even became the president was to impress his little sister Paimon and his cousins Aether and Lumine(kinda true but he doesn’t know it). People say that Ningguang and Beidou are actually dating and that Ningguang joined the council to let Beidou stay in school (last part is false but the first part is true). Rumors state that Jean actually expelled someone because the young lad (fucking albert omg) sexually harassing Barbara, a young idol and Jeans little sister (true and Jean doesn’t care because bitch ass deserved it). The Kamisato siblings, Kamisato Ayaka and Kamisato Ayato. Kamisato Ayato, more known as the head of the Kamisato clan, people say that he paid to let him and his sister into the student council (FALSE FUCKING FALSE DO U SEE HOW ELEGANT AYAKA IS? HOW CAN SHE NOT BE IN THE COUNCIL...) They say that is Zhongli was either vice president or president the school's money would be gone (yes). They say the only reason Mona is even in the student council is because of her little astrology, otherwise she wouldn’t be in the council at all.


Im crying rn


Anyway, ill TRY to post the first chapter on Albedos bday so they can celebrate it..........

Meaning on the first chapter hes turning 18..... MWAHHAAHAHAHHAAA

Chapter Text

Venti: do u guys think albedo sucks kaeya toes

Albedo: excuse me what.

Diluc: definitely

Sucrose: i don’t think mr albedo sucks sir kaeyas toes… but it’s definitely something kaeya would like.

Kaeya: WTF-

Xingqiu: i’m betting 700 mora that kaeya sucks albedos toes.

Xingqiu: ik for a fact kaeyas toes are dirty as fuck while albedos is literally sheer heaven.

Hu tao: but wouldn’t kaeya ask albedo to such his toes ?

Xingqiu: albedo wouldn’t do it so kaeya would do it on his behalf

Hu tao: fair

Ningguang: Mona I would like you to figure this.

Ningguang: toe sucking.

Mona: im not loosing my fucking pride for that

Ningguang: I’ll pay you 60,000 mora

Mona: albedo sucks kaeyas toes

Albedo: how could you betray me like this mona…

Albedo: I could’ve given you the answers to science.

Yanfei: what the fuck ?

Yanfei : help


Chongyun changed Albedos nickname to Albetoe

Albetoe: ok what the fuck.

Lisa: your fault for sucking kaeyas toes~

Kazuha: don’t you like

Kazuha: suck jeans hands every now and then
Eula: what the fuck.

Amber: at lunch lisa just sucks jeans left over food on her fingers

Barbara: Wait so that’s why Jean doesn’t use utensils nor wash her hands ?

Jean: this isn’t about me and lisa this is about albedo and kaeya

Beidou: and you’d think the horniest mother fuckers aren’t friends

Xiangling: mondstadters r so kinky

Xiangling: but xingqiu and chongyun r so kinky omg

Xinyan: one time I saw chongyun purposely get ice cream on his face and xingqiu fucking licked it

Xinyan: albedo jean lisa kaeya xingqiu and chongyun should be friends

Amber: they can be called the horny ppl

Aether: my god I just don’t get how they can be so horny yet some of them excel in their grades

Lumine: my god I just don’t get how they can be so horny yet some of them excel in their grades

Lumine: hello my doppelgänger

Aether: hello my doppelgänger

Keqing: their planning this aren’t they

Dainsleif: hello this is paimon, lumine can u come over to dains u to aether

Aether: okay

Lumine: okay

Venti: gone like the wind…

Xiao: back to the horny fuckers.


Xiao: Ganyu and Keqing r just so

Xiao: why.

Kazuha: spill

Ganyu: please don’t

Scaramouche: please do ?

Gorou: @Kokomi u have to see this

Kokomi: thank you my lovley brother

Gorou: your welcome sis ❤️

Kokomi: ❤️

Xiao: mother fuckers are stuffing their faces into each other’s boobs

Xiao: like qiqi is right there

Fischl: How could those insolent pests do such a thing in-front of such innocence! We must tear them apart like freshly baked chicken !

Oz: what my sister means is that “why in the fuck knuckles are they doing that in front of Qiqi”

Dainsleif: this is why ur better then paimon

Diluc: this is why ur even in the gc

Oz: thank you ?

Ningguang: should we pay you ?

Oz: you guys already pay me by providing me good entertainment

Oz: pay me if you want to tho

La Signora: Oz is only 13 yet he’s already very responsible.

La Signora: unlike some of you

Childe: what is that supposed to mean…

Dottore: I agree with LaLa on this one

La Signora: Fischl please write about how I will kill dottore in great detail.

Fischl: Of course ! I shall full fill your request, however in return would you care to take care of my lovely brother Oz ?

La Signora: of course, me and oz get along well anyway

Fischl: The fair lady, madam Signora, will cut sir Dottore exactly 73 times. 5 on the face, 11 on the left arm.17 on the right arm, 29 on the stomach, 5 on each legs and 1 long stab on the back. After she shall feed sir Dottore rotten food and cut out his left eye. Then she shall rip him apart, making exactly 69 white roses turn red using the blood that he may shed.

Noelle: No ! Fischl no killing people ! it’s very bad especially for us students !

Fischl: you fucking say that as if you haven’t hide a body before

Kazuha: holy shit she broke character

Oz: she usually only breaks character in-front of that wolf boy and bennett ?

Razor: Fischl brother call Razor ?

Oz: right razor

Oz: I think fischl razor and bennett r dating but I haven’t clarified

Rosaria: may u tell us more ?

Fischl: oz u dare say another word i’m not visiting u for a month.

Baizhu: fischl don’t u dare.

Ganyu: if you do oz is gonna be really sad you know ?

Albetoe : he’s gonna hog his room all day, he won’t even eat.

Keqing: fischl ik u want to stop that from happening but u shouldn’t do that

Venti: what is this protection squad

Diluc: i’m pretty sure they take care of all our younger siblings

Yoimiya: hey thereeee

Hu tao: MIYA MIYA.

Yoimiya HU HU.

Yoimiya: WANNA DO IT ?

Hu tao: YES YES YES.

Yanfei: i’m scared

Jean: no not this again…





Yanfei:oh I see

Yanfei: let’s go rebeca. If you want your lovley tiffany to live that is.





Zhongli: I am quite close to using the function called “block”.

Venti: i’m pissing away

Xiao: don’t u mean passing……..

Venti: i’m gonna piss in ur mouth

Kaeya: and you call me and albedo horny ?

Albetoe: they aren’t even in a established relationship yet.

Diluc: this is the only time i’ll agree with you kaeya

Kaeya: yk u love me ;)

Diluc: albedos right there

Albetoe: I think diluc loves kaeya too

Diluc: I will block u two

Childe: okay but when zhongli said that….

Childe: hot as fuck

Scaramouche: ur just a simp

Childe: wtf do u mean hoe

Dottore: you literally pay for like anything Zhongli asks for

Childe: no.

Zhongli: I really like Childe, he’s a very good friend, I hope me and him never cut ties.

Childe: .

Thoma: I can feel the sheer dissatisfaction and disappointment through the fucking phone.

Thoma: also can I add some ppl

Venti: yes the more the fucking merrier


Thoma added Yae Miko, Ei,Ayaka,Ayato


Ayato: Thoma come and suck my dick <3

Thoma: a 13 year old is here Ayato…

Oz: yes i’m right here



Ayaka: You shouldn’t say those words again ! they’re very rude.

Yae Miko: I don’t understand how they’re siblings.

Zhongli: Hello Miko.

Ganyu: Welcome Miko ! sorry we couldn’t add you sooner.

Ei: hi

Venti: omg ei

Ei: hell to u too venti

Venti: *cries*

Venti: xiao come comfort me…

Xiao: on it

Keqing: and u say me and ganyu are disgusting

Baizhu: it runs in the family

Dottore: wtf aren’t u like their cousin

Baizhu: in their part of the family

Dottore: fair

Chapter Text

Gorou: did I just see some kid do some clarity gacha meme or was it just me


Lumine: u saw it to?


Rosaria: wasn’t the kid who was falling that one kid with the most absurd luck


Barbara: are you talking about Bennett?


Gorou: damn this furry then fell with that kid


Kazuha: didn’t fischl also fall?


Scaramouche: yeah she fell down


Baizhu: and your just gonna leave them?


Rosaria: they look like theyre gonna be a poly relationship sooner or later of course we’re gonna leave them dipshit


Xingqiu: Hello, the elderly.


Ningguang: you only talk like that if u need help. Wtf do u need


Xingqiu: wow okay, have any of u seen the kids who r in a threesome from class 1-1?


Lisa: excuse me.


Lisa: you mean Fischl, Bennett and Razor are a thing?


Chongyun: ok technically they kind of are they just don’t admit it


Sara: take one fucking look at them and tell me they're good at hiding shit


Venti: younger yet have a better love life then me....


Kaeya: it because u want xiao and wont fucking move on


Xiao: just let him be


Albedo: are you sure you guys aren’t dating.


Albedo: or like each other in the slightest way??


Venti: its very one sided wdym


Diluc: I will bury myself 6 feet under.


Ganyu: Venti... I never thought you’d be this...


Keqing: ur so dense u fucking loser






Ayato: Venti! My guy, this is how me and Thoma got together.


Ayato: just give it a little push...yk?


Xiao: im right here


Ayato: shut up


Ayato: like when we first had sex we just needed to adjust and learn!


Ayato: like how Xiao and u can adjust to each other!


Mona: that is the worst advice for a love life ive ever seen


Yoimiya: who was top and who was bottom. I demand to know.


Ayato: im not telling u that fucker


Ayaka: im pretty sure they switch.


Ayato: ayaka why


Thoma: 69% of the time im top tho B)


Childe: im shitting tears rn


Thoma: arent u that one senior that ppl say I look like


Childe: so ur that one junior who looks like me?


Venti: chili and thomato.


Venti: chili and tomato.............


Beidou: their ship names are fucking food and they look like each other...


La Signora: what is this bitchuary.


Barbara: Ive healed the trio!


Bennett: Hey guys! I'm back!


Razor: hello


Fischl: Salutations!


Oz: welcome back, ive sent muffins to dorm 43 and 9 for u guys. Happy recovery.


Lumine: Oz might be a good influence on paimon...


Aether: we should add her


Dainsleif: sure do what you want



Lumine added Paimon



Oz: get that rachet human away from me.


Paimon: wtf


Paimon: the first thing that happens when I come here I see fucking oz??


Childe: arent they in the same class


Dainsleif: ok I think when they were smaller they had a fight on who could cuddle with fischl in the park longer


Fisch: Both my extravagant and lovley brother Oz and the cute and small Paimon were exceptionally adorable when they were young and clean!


Oz: she means that “both oz and paimon were cute back then”


Oz: see I can translate what she says unlike u fucking loser


Paimon: im still better then u in almost all subjects


Zhongli: Maybe it was wrong to add both of them in this group chat.


Childe: probably


Kokomi: why is fischl always somehow the root of most of ozs fights


La Signora: it because they love each other. Did u see how fischl literally expelled those students who were bullying oz 4 years ago.


La Signora: she went ape shit


Razor: fischl brother, razor thank you for cookie. They were yummy.


Oz: its for your recovery don’t worry about it.


Bennett: Oz, one day we should all bake together! Im sure it’ll be really fun


Oz: oh okay then


Lumine: be like oz and bake us cookies


Paimon: is that the reason why u added me...


Aether: yes.


Paimon: ill make you some in return for yours ig...


Dainsleif: I volunteer to be the taste tester before sending to the twins


Mona: wtf I want free food ur already rich.


Dainsleif: im her brother


Xiangling: I can teach you if you need me!


Paimon: sure ur food taste really good anyway


Sucrose: so were just going to ignore that Oz and Paimon are on each other's throats because they wanted to cuddle with Fischl?


Albedo: I guess so.


Amber: not gonna lie when bennett and razor come over they often cuddle with fischl and it looks really comfy so I don’t see a reason not to fight


Bennett: If you arent Oz Paimon or Razor I will slit your throat if you dare try to cuddle with Fischl.


Eula: damn fischl has a whole group to protect her


Xingqiu: chongyun theyre talking about cuddling and now I wanna cuddle.






Chongyun: coming over


Zhongli: please don’t.


Scaramouche: wtf do they do for u guys to not want him over.




Zhongli: It is not a sight that I like seeing...


Childe: don’t fucking bother whore


Xingqiu: you say that as if you wouldn't spread your legs for zhongli




Xingqiu: at least I admit it


Ayato: childe.


Childe: yes?


Ayato: I want money


Childe: im sorry what


Ayato: sorry what?


Ayato: now lets try that again.


Zhongli: Childe, I want money.


Childe: Sure how much?


Ayato: see.


Childe: wait what.


Ayato: I got kokomi to hack zhonglis phone.


Ayato: when its someone else you get confused but when its zhongli its an instant yes.




Thoma: this is why I love you


Ayato: love you too 💞


Venti: why tf is childe screaming while stuffing his face into his narwhale plush


Venti: oh.


Ei: at this point Ayato should be a match maker


Ei: he even got me and miko together.


Venti: ayatoooo


Venti: help me out here 🙁


Ayato: sure.



Private chat with Xiao


Ayato: hello bitch.


Xiao: what the fuck.

Chapter Text

Oz added Sayu,Diona,Klee, Qiqi and Teucer

Oz: let’s see if you can handle a day where it’s pg-13

Venti: oz why would you do this to us

Oz: i’m angry.

Kaeya: at ???

Oz: that baizhu bitch

Oz: bitch forgot that i didn’t like carrots

Xingqiu: did u just feed someone fuckinf carrots and expect them to like it ?

Xingqiu: @Baizhu you’ve done a mistake.

Klee: hi !!!!!!! 👋

Albedo: Klee what are you doing here.

Klee: big brother oz asked klee if she wanted to talk with albedos friends !

Albedo: oz i really like you but please remove klee

Oz: feel the wrath of being pg-13

Paimon: me and oz planned this btw

Aether: what

Lumine: don’t you like

Aether: hate each other ??

Paimon: when it’s necessary we are great friends

Oz: yeah ig

Paimon: @Baizhu feed us carrots again i dare you

Sayu: hi

Yoimiya: Sayu !!!

Sayu: hello yoi

Yoimiya: do you like it here ?

Sayu: not very much

Diona: @Diluc i wanna go buy cat merch again

Diluc: @Kaeya

Kaeya: let’s go diona !

Diona: no way am i going with you

Diona: you literally stop by like 5 different sex shops and for what reason

Diona: u using them on ur self or what

Diluc: Mona i’ll pay you 30,000 mora if you can figure this out

Mona: he’s buying it for someone

Albedo: what

Albedo: kaeya.

Diluc: i’ll bring you to buy cat merch, just wait in your dorm.

Diona: thanks i’ll make a flower crown for you ?

Diluc: if you want to

Amber: i never thought diluc would be good with kids

Jean: I’m pretty sure diluc buys candy for the kids from kindergarten to grade 3 correct ?

Jean: your the dark night candy man right ?

Diluc: who says i am

Eula: never thought diluc would deny it

Teucer: Your the candy man ? That’s awesome !

Klee: But Diluc is very grump and sad and he never smiles ! he can’t be the candy man teucer !!

Teucer: oh your right ! i’m sorry mr diluc 😣

Diluc: it’s okay kid

Teucer: I have to go ! Ajax is meeting me again !

Klee: Bye bye !!!

Oz: you guys are holding up well

Ayato: who the fuck is ajax

Oz: never mind

Albedo: ayato look into your private dms

Ayato: what…


Private chat with Albedo

Albedo: i will **** ****** ******** ********* ****** ***** ***** **** ****** ***** **** ******** ***** ****** ***** ******** **** ** ** ****** ************


Albedo: so be it.

End private chat with Albedo


Kaeya: what did albedo do…

Ayaka: It seems Ayato is have a crisis.

Ayato: I’m so sorry albedo please don’t do that………

Venti: ok what did he send…

Qiqi: qiqi wants to know what albedo send

Sayu: he got that head of the Kamisato clan of the Yashiro Commission on his knees. It should be something very scary.

Qiqi: qiqi don’t like scary

Thoma: Albedo what did you do to my boyfriend.

Albedo: just a normal death threat

Ayato: right i still have the xiaoven commission………..

Ayato: gotta blast !


-like yesterday-

Private chat with Xiao

Ayato: hello bitch

Xiao: what the fuck.

Ayato: i’m here to make you admit your fuckijg feelings.

Xiao: no.

Ayato: so ? what’s stopping you.

Xiao: why should i trust you.

Ayato: i’ll tell you one of my past experiences then.

Ayato: yk ei and miko? those to both thought the other was straight.

Ayato: in the end the got together because they admitted their feelings

Ayato: don’t u wanna just date venti ??

Xiao: it’s because after graduation im gonna leave the country

Ayato: …

Ayato: tf- that’s what’s holding u back ????

Xiao: i- yes ?

Ayato: yk what. no. venti would travel to wherever with u

Xiao: seriously?

Ayato: yeah no shit

Ayato: just ask him out istg

Ayato: u can just give him some flowers or something and ask him out he wouldn’t care he just wants to be ur boyfriend

Ayato: do u see how horny he is for u

Xiao: i

Xiao: okay but ur helping me.

Ayato: done deal.



and they planned a little something for venti

Chapter Text

Private chat with Ayato

Ayato: go to Springvale valley. It’s worth it, be there in 2 hours

Venti: what

End private chat with Ayato

“Ayato that fuckers offline now.” Venti looked blankly at his phone screen wondering what Ayato did. “Could it be…” Venti thought to himself, “Let’s hope it is.” He decided he’d look his best today; it was that day. At least he thinks it was. He took a shower, put make-up on and wore his clothes. He was wearing a sage sweater with a white collar along with black jeans and a black belt. Then he braided his hair into 2. He got onto his moped and rode to Springvale valley. It took at least 40 minutes to get there from the dorms, so he got a good ride with the wind blowing back at him. It always felt nice to feel the wind pass his skin.


He finally arrived at Springvale valley it was around 12 pm by then. He looked for Ayato, but when he did he saw Xiao next to Ayato. “Looks like I was right.” Venti waved at Xiao and Ayato before sprinting towards them. Then he jumped to hug Xiao making both fall to the ground. “Venti...” Xiao looked at the smaller man, “Hello!” Venti was beaming with excitement. “Oh! Sorry guys I’ve got some urgent clan business. You guys know me, the Yashiro commissioner and the clan leader of the Kamisato Clan. Have fun without me~”


Oh, they were going to have so much fun. “Well, I guess that just leaves us two!” Venti was happy.

Kamisato Ayato you are a fucking genius. I will forever be grateful for the Kamisato Clan.


“It seems this is a really good spot for a picnic, lucky I brought some food for all of us.”


What the fuck did Ayato really force us to go on a picnic or is this a coincidence...


“Yep! It seems as if Ayato really wanted to go on a picnic. Shame he didn’t get to come.”


Shame my fucking ass Ayato you are amazing.


“Looks like we’ll be having a picnic.” Xiao looked around to look for a good spot to sit. “There’s a really good spot over there.” Venti pointed at the big tree with autumn leaves, some even red or pink. No one was sitting on it, that was a big surprise but there were some servants there. Then someone tapped Venti on the shoulder, “Excuse me, are you Venti and Xiao?” a young lady wearing a Kamisato uniform said in a polite voice. “Yes, we are. Do you need anything?” Xiao asked the young lady. “The young master, Kamisato Ayato, has informed us that his friends will be here and has ordered us to get a good spot for you. Please follow me.”


Kamisato Ayato, is this the treatment that Thoma is getting? Cause wow, Ayato once again you are great.


“It seems he had already booked the big tree you wanted to go to. No wonder people weren't using that space.” Xiao looked at Venti with a light smile. “Ayato really is a good friend.” Venti smiled back clinging onto Xiaos right arm.


Two of the servants left a big mat for the two of them, “We will know leave, please call this number once you are done.” The servants bowed down and left.


“Those two boys...”

“You mean the young masters friends?”

“He’s definitely playing match maker again.”

“Just you wait in one week their going to be making out.”



“Xiaooo, what did you make?” Venti had been blindfolded; they were playing a game. Where Venti had to guess what Xiao made for them. “Guess.” Xiao said abruptly. “Uhm... from the smell of it I can smell strawberries... is it just strawberries?” Xiao took the blindfold of to reveal a strawberry tart. “Ok it was close.” Venti pouted at Xiao. They looked like a married couple. People around them would just be reminded that they were single. Or that they wanted their partner to be like them.


They were eating each box one by one, Xiaos cooking was heaven in Venti's mouth.


“We still have one box left.” Venti pointed at the small box with small red hearts and a white wrapping. “The wrapping is really cute.” Venti smiled but when he looked up at Xiao, he saw a small tint of red on his cheeks. “Close your eyes.” Xiao said, he seemed quite nervous, but Venti closed his eyes anyway. He opened the small box; he could hear it open.”


The next thing he knew was that they were kissing, and he could feel the softness of a egg roll, but what was better was that Xiao was feeding him something mouth to mouth. Did Ayato plan this? Because God knows Venti will be so grateful to Ayato. After the kiss, Venti could feel Xiaos breathing on his cheeks. “Uhm... will you be my boyfriend?”


There it is.


“Yes!!” he hugged Xiao almost crying. But little did they know...






Ayato: ventiandxiaokissing.png


Ayato: got em.

Chapter Text

Ayato: ventiandxiaokissing.png

Ayato: got em


Paimon removed Qiqi,Teucer,Sayu,Klee and Diona


Paimon: how dare you show that to such innocent faces.

Oz: we will annihilate you

Aether: ngl paimon and oz teaming up is actually so scary

Lumine: ikr?

Childe: their like a second u guys…

Lumine: ok wtf do u mean when me and aether was fighting u bitchass literally threw a whale at us

Aether: and u grew like 3 fucking meters on that form like wtf ???

Childe: I was in a bad mood okay

Lumine: okay but we all knew we were waiting for them to make out istg

Amber: I agree

Kaeya: wait what.

Ayaka: Brother, why were you there ?

Ayato: I set them up.

Yae Miko: was it similar to the deal you made from back then?

Ayato: I guess ?

Thoma: Ayato its bottom Saturday day

Ayato: fuck

Ayato: bb pls I just went out today

Kazuha: please don’t i’m writing poetry right now

Scaramouche: I don’t wanna hear my seniors moans.

Gorou: i’m eating rn….

Thoma: too late fuckers

Yoimiya: I want their sex schedule @Ayaka

Ayaka: ok so on Saturdays,Thursdays,Wednesday and Friday Thoma is top while on Tuesdays,Mondays and Sunday Ayato is top. They have sex for a full week and then take a break for a week.

Childe: we’ve been knew

Kazuha: ^

Scaramouche: ^

Gorou: ^

Childe: if venti and xiao were here then they would agree as well.

Childe: holy shit thoma ur already here ?

Thoma: wtf i’m not ?

Childe: then why do I hear moans.

Childe: okay that’s clearly not ayato and thoma

Childe: wait a fucking.

Childe: since xiao and venti r my roommates and they got together today

Childe: mona is xiao and venti making out rn i’ll pay u 40,000 mora

Mona: yes indeed they are having sex, they’ve been at it for around 5 hours atm

Sucrose: excuse me ?

Baizhu: well both of them have loads of stamina

Albedo: I wanna do an experiment with this information…

Xingqiu: ppl have sex after a first date ???

Xingqiu: mona I want u to figure out if they did it right after they went home

Mona: they did it after a quick shower which was about 40 minutes adding both their showers

Chongyun: at least they showered first…
Paimon: i’m very uncomfortable

Oz: ^

Oz: but I would like to study human anatomy so do tell me more

Paimon: ^

Lumine: I think adding paimon is making their blood lust shrink

Fischl: oz ily but pls don’t try and study human anatomy from xiao and venti

Aether: fischls been breaking character a lot these days

Lisa: oz you can study human anatomy with me and razor if you’d like~

Oz: paimon wanna come with me

Paimon: yes

Dainsleif: they aren’t at each other’s throats anymore so that good

Dottore: and this happened because of the twins

Dottore: here 👏

Dottore: round of applause for the twins

Aether: thanks

Lumine: thanks

Ganyu: @Jean I think I saw someone sexually harass Barbara again..

Jean: where.

Ganyu: near windrise I think

Diluc: I just saw Jean storming out the classroom grabbing her sword

Diluc: oh okay

Chapter Text

Venti: mona ayato how dare u

Xiao: I will literally strangle you

Childe: like how u strangled venti last night ?

Childe: dude u guys were at it until 4 am…

Scaramouche: now that they’re dating it’s moans all year long for u because thomas ur roommate as well

Childe: let me go in my dorm in peace istg

Kaeya: if only Albedo was 18………..

Albedo: what are u implying.

Diluc: he turns 18 in tomorrow just wait a little

Albedo: what.

Lisa: why are u guys even awake

Jean: lisa it’s 10 am

Lisa: your point ?

Razor: Razor human anatomy with Lisa paimon oz come library 3 pm today

Oz: okay

Paimon: thanks razor

Lisa: right im the teacher today

Xingqiu: I don’t understand how ur the fucking teacher

Xiangling: chongyunsteponxingqiu.png

Xiangling: is that fucking xingqius ao3 account...

Chongyun: im sorry what

Xingqiu: ive got like no idea what ur talking about

Albedo: why tf are you writing fanfiction on each of us.

Xingqiu: look sometimes im horny okay

Xiangling: theres like 6 different chongyun x reader or in other words xingqiu fanfics

Chongyun: if ur that horny we can just do it irl

Xingqiu: im sorry what.


Xingqiu: ur only a year older then me.

Chongyun: who said we would do it in dorm 40


Bennett: you guys can do it in dorm 9 since razor and I are usually hanging out with fischl !

Zhongli: I would like to ask, if there was a fucking empty room right there why did you two choose to do stuff in the room where there's people.

Aether: ikr ????

Chongyun: idk ask xingqiu

Xingqiu: because im wanna tell u guys im dating and ur not

Aether: isnt zhongli dating childe

Zhongli: Childe is a dear friend of mine.

Childe: yes.

Baizhu: I can see the disappointment through my fucking phone

Keqing: Zhongli when will you ever learn..

Amber: why are there posters around the school saying that Jean is bad and you should never talk to her

Eula: Jean almost killed the person who was sexually harassing Barbara

Kaeya: that fucker can go to jail why tf is he even alive.

Kaeya: Jean should've killed him on the spot wtf.

Albedo: right?

Sucrose: I agree.

Noelle: though killing is usually wrong I feel in this case he should at least go to jail.

Fischl: That insolent scum bag! Sexually harassing a young lady because they like her is wrong! Evil will be purged, send him to the deeps of hell right this instant!

Oz: what my sister means is that “that scum bag should go to straight hell” I also agree.

Rosaria: though I don’t really like Barbara he should at least lose an arm or a leg

Venti: one day I'll use the wind to snap his neck...

Lisa: I will poison his food.


Barbara: please send him to jail.

Amber: forget jail ill bring him to ashes.

Yoimiya: mondstadters really are something else huh...

Beidou: ill remind me not to mess with any of them...

Bennett: okay wtf r u talking about, us mondstadters have like 30% of the bloodlust liyuens have.

Bennett: and inzumans... my god when they snap, THEY SNAP.

Bennett: and those snezhnayans... don’t even get me started

Sara: have you seen the people at sumeru? Like they have a 284 IQ and that’s fucking normal in the capital.

Sara: what kind of psycho lives there

Ei: it’s the god of wisdom, of course they're people are quite smart don’t you think?

Albedo: they’re almost as smart as me.

Lumine: the fontaines are quite peaceful I should say.

Aether: and the natlans are energetic but they don’t plan much evil.

Dainsleif: I think my favorite nation would be fontaines, people don’t bother each other but there are times when it's fun.

Lumine: ^

Aether: ^

Paimon: ^

Kazuha: I swear their family has traveled everywhere

Childe: I haven’t even traveled to Fontaine yet and I am very much rich.

Scaramouche: you have a private jet so you can travel wherever you want.

Childe: yep

Xinyan: ok not gonna lie the twins and paimon kinda remind me of team rocket

Dainsleif: oh u little fuckers don’t u dare.







Lumine: JESSIE

Aether: JAMES




Dainsleif: look I do not want to go back 10 years where you guys would do that okay.

Venti: im shitting tears rn

Childe: xiao why do u have a stash of hentai manga

Childe: theyre all gay as well

Xiao: why tf r u in my room

Thoma: oh u kept them

Ayato: im sorry what

Thoma: I gifted xiao hentai manga for his birthday

Ayato: ….

Childe: holy shit you read killing stalking too?

Ganyu: im sorry what ?

Childe: there's a bookmark for Dakaretai Otoko 1 I Ni Odosarete Imasu holy shit you have good taste

Thoma: wait I didn’t gift you that.

Venti: Xiao explain.


Private chat with Venti


Xiao: that’s how I knew I liked boys okay




End private chat with Venti


Hu tao: help me and Venti r in the cafeteria and Ventis just laughing like a chicken

Yanfei: leave him and come with me.

Hu tao: yes, bb girl

Ayato: I might have found another client.....

Chapter Text

It was around 9 am when Albedo woke up. It was finally his birthday. Finally wouldn’t really be the right word but it still works.

“Happy birthday Albedo.” Oz had woke up before him to take care of Albedos cooking duty because of the special occasion. “Thanks for making food today, Oz.” Albedo was up and ready to get along with the day. “Happy birthday Albedo.” Paimon had an oversized hoodie to hide her chest because the house was filled with guys, but the real reason was because it was more comfortable that way. “Thank you Paimon. Do you mind waking up Teucer?” Albedo had sat down to wait for Oz to finish cooking. “Sure.”

“Are you going to plan anything for your birthday?” Oz looked over at Albedo, who was playing with his phone. “No not really.” Albedo replied, still zoning in his phone. “I see.”

Little did Albedo know everything was going according to plan.


-3 days ago-

Kaeya made a group chat

Kaeya added 45 people




Diluc: oh.

Sucrose: I agree, Albedo should get a break.

Kaeya: then it’s settled


Kaeya added Klee


Klee: hi !!! 👋

Klee: what does brother kaeya need from klee ?

Kaeya: klee can you ask albedo what albedos favorite food is ?

Klee: brother kaeya needs to say please or klee won’t do it !

Kaeya: pretty please ?

Klee: okay !
Keqing: i’ll make sure she gets to albedo

Keqing: can you watch the kids while i’m gone? @Ganyu

Ganyu: of course.

Barbara: @Xinyan @Venti @Xiao we should hold a performance for the party !

Venti: sure let’s meet up today

Xiao: sure ig

Xinyan: On it !

Kaeya: ok so we’ve got music from the music club now we need to find an area and we also need lots of food.

Aether: kaeya seems to be very serious rn

Lumine: it’s albedo ofc he’s serious

Aether: fair

Xiangling: I can make some food !

Kaeya: @Diluc make some drinks

Diluc: okay

Kazuha: I can write a poem for him ig

Beidou: @Ningguang should we use one of your houses to hold it

Ningguang: I think albedo would be suspicious if we bring him somewhere far away so somewhere close would be better.

Childe: i’ve got an empty house nearby we can use that.

Yoimiya: Ayaka do you want to help me with fireworks ?

Ayaka: sure ! however I am not quite familiar with firework making but i’ll give it a go !

Yoimiya: thanks! Fireworks are kind of dangerous while making them so make sure to be careful.

Ayaka: i’ve got it.

Ei: Miko we should bring traditional Inazuman food for him.

Yae Miko: of course, i’ll get one of the shrine maidens to help with that.

-end of memory-

“Good morning, oh happy birthday Albedo.” Baizhu finally woken up, “What are we eating today?” Baizhu sat down next to Albedo. “Stir fried noodles and pancakes for Teucer.” Oz replied while making the batter for the pancakes. “Honestly I don’t understand how his parents even made food for him. He eats almost sweet stuff every meal.” Paimon was carrying Teucer down the stairs in her arms, he was still half asleep. “Okay Teucer, no more carrying for you.” She placed Teucer on the stairs and he eventually got into his seat. “Oz, I want hot choco.” Paimon stretched her arms across the table, “Make it yourself i’m busy right now.” Oz looked over at Paimon with a smile on his face. “Wow, okay.” Paimon was clearly annoyed. “Hey, Oz, they planned it for 2 pm right.” Paimon whispered to Oz. “Yep.” Oz whispered back, “Thanks.” Paimon then went to make her hot choco.

“Happy birthday Albedo.” Ayato gave him a bracelet, him and Ayato were in the same class and he did see him in the group chat but they never really talked personally. “Thank you.” Albedo nodded and walked away. Still 30 minutes until his first lecture starts, “I can draw something in that time.”.

“Happy birthday Albedo.” My god he was getting tired of people telling him that. He would just prefer if people just didn’t talk to him for a while. He’s glad that not many people at school knew his birthday, because if they did then he’d probably hear 1000 people saying that stupid line over and over again. School doesn’t usually drain his energy as quickly as it did today. Next time he might take the day off on his birthday.

“Albedo !!!!”

It was Klee. Just great, he loves Klee but he’s so tired right now that he might pass out any moment.

“Klee sorry but I don’t have much time.” Albedo tried his best to make Klee leave. “No ! Albedo is coming with Klee. Or Klees going to be very angry !” fucking hell when Klees angry the little lady throws bombs. “Oh okay…” god knows that it’s going to be even more tiring if he needs to deal with the aftermath of Klees bombs so the smarter move is so to go.

“Klee and Albedo is here !!!”

There he was, Albedo was standing at the doorstep of this traditional Inazuman place. Provided by the oh so great Ayato. “Please show your permission bracelets.” A servant had approached them. “Bracelet?” oh the one Ayato gave him this morning. “Here.” Good thing he kept the bracket in his pocket or else who knows what would happen. “Thank you, welcome to the Kamisato tea house. Please follow me.” The servant open the door, showing everyone sitting at the table.

“Happy birthday our dear alchemist !”

“I’m sorry what.” Ok ok, he was expecting Albedo but ‘our dear alchemist’? “Kaeya thought that you would’ve been tired of hearing the same thing everyday so we decided to change things up.” Jean smiled at Albedo. “Thank you, I guess.” Mans was speechless, of course he thought that Kaeya would do something but this? Oh hell no.


“And that’s how papas tired birthday went.”

“So that’s how he was like in college…”

“What are you talking about.”

Chapter Text

Albedo: next time done even think of trying to pull that shit again.

Kaeya: why shouldn’t we >:(

Albedo: just no

Diluc: what is tsundere action rn

Albedo: sorry what.

Diluc: sorry what?

Hu Tao: can

Yanfei: I

Hu Tao: put

Yanfei: my balls

Hu Tao: in ur jaws

Xiangling: bravo

Scaramouche: ok can I have a list of established relationships.

Ayato: excuse me?

Scaramouche: just tell me

Mona: Chongyun/Xingqiu, Fischl/Bennett/Razor, Kaeya/Albedo, Ayato/Thoma, Venti/Xiao, Jean/Lisa, Ei/Yae Miko.

Xiao: wait ganyu and keqing arent dating?

Ayato: im what

Mona: they arent but one day.

Xiao: @Ayato

Ayato: on it sir!


Private chat with Ganyu


Ayato: Ganyu, Ganyu you can call me Ganyu!

Ayato: blue hair pink eyes will you go to Keqing?

Ganyu: im sorry?

Ayato: omg im shitting tears rn

Ayato: okay okay.

Ayato: yk me im the match maker.

Ayato: you probably know what im doing

Ganyu: but I didn’t request you?

Ayato: who said that u needed to request me to fix ur love life?

Ganyu: …

Ganyu: okay

Ayato: then follow me lead. I'll plan everything, sooner or later things will move.


End private chat with Ganyu


Private chat with Keqing


Ayato: HELLO.

Keqing: please no.

Ayato: my god no need to be so mean

Ayato: anyway im here to give u a better love life

Keqing: please go away im very busy

Ayato: no <3

Ayato: so im gonna make u and ganyu a couple

Ayato: so heres the plan.






Venti: sister-in-law finding a girlfriend?

Xiao: sister in what

Kaeya: you guys r getting married?

Venti: yes.

Xiao: okay

Diluc: I feel bad for ganyu

Albedo: so does that mean Klee is kaeyas sister-in-law?

Kaeya: sorry what

Baizhu: wtf I don’t wanna be family with that thing

Xiao: how dare u

Baizhu: keqings fine but VENTI??

Baizhu: mans is like never sober

Venti: I am sober how dare u

Rosaria: im pretty sure last time we drank you chugged down 30 bottles of alchol

Beidou: ikr? Like im literally the captain of the crux and yet I still cant chug down 30 bottles

Venti: I just have lots of tolerance okay >:(

Xiao: im gonna ban you from drinking alchol

Venti: anything for u xiao <3

Zhongli: Hello.

Childe: hi zhongli

Ayato: suddenly i have a new potential client

Paimon: aether lumine come to dains i wanna do something

Aether: sure

Lumine: sure

Oz: can i rate everyones hugs

Eula: excuse me

Fischl: Of course my dear brother! Everyone get in line to hug my wonderful brother Oz.

Bennett: like rn?

Oz: sure ?

Oz: for now ill just rate the ppl i have hugged

Oz: first is Bennett, 7/10 the hug itself isnt that bad but there are times where there isnt space to breathe

Bennett: thank you Oz !

Oz: your welcome

Oz: Razor is a 4/10 man sometimes i wonder if it's a hug at all but his clothes is very soft so

Oz: me and xingqiu hugged when i was hanging out with some of the first years, 8/10 his clothes is kinda uncomfy while hugging but everything else is fine

Oz: chongyuns a 2/10 his skin is so cold i feel like im hugging this mountain of snow

Xiangling: he eats popsicles on a daily basis what do u expect

Oz: fischls a 10/10 enough room to breath but its still warm

Amber: her hugs look top tier ngl

Xiangling: one day can me and fischl cuddle omg

Fischl: no

Xiangling: crying

Oz: xianglings a 5/10 sometimes her hugs are really good but others the worst thing ive experienced in my life

Venti: damn xiangling just took a big ass hit from the 2 siblings

Xiangling: i feel HURT

Oz: noelle is a 6/10 she gives really good hugs but her clothes are really sharp

Noelle: sorry about that !!

Oz: its okay

Oz: ive never hugged sara before so

Sara: i think i give good hugs

Oz: xinyans a 1/10 i cannot breathe

Oz: barbaras a 8/10 her hugs are good nothing else to note for her ig

Oz: never hugged scaramouche or kazuha

Oz: gorous a good 7/10 sometimes hes kinda like a dog when hugging tho

Oz: lumine is good 9/10

Lumine: damn i feel powerful

Oz: never hugged rosaria but her clothers dont look comfy if you hug her so 4/10

Oz: aethers also a good 9/10

Oz: ive never hugged the kamisato siblings but their clothes look really soft so i they both get 4 points for clothes

Ayato: nice

Ayaka: its a pleasure.

Oz: never hugged thoma, hu tao, yanfei,mona

Oz: dains a 6/10 he gives decent hugs

Oz: jeans a 8/10 nothing else

Oz: beidou i cant breathe when u hug me so stop randomly hugging me and rubbing my head when u see me in the hallway 3/10

Paimon: she does that to u too?

Xingqiu: pretty sure she does that to the younger ppl in this gc, she does it to some of the college freshmen

Oz: ningguangs gloves has this fucking knife on it istg either way 5/10

Oz: never hugged la signora, kokomi,ei ,diluc or miko

Oz: when i was living with keqing when i was younger cuddling with her was very comfy 10/10

Oz: same with ganyu

Oz: albedo gives okay hugs 7/10

Oz: kaeyas hugs are great 10/10

Kaeya: ive been blessed by the gods omg

Oz: when we were in last years concert ppl were pushing a lot and zhongli kept me close for safety and it was very much comfy and that was barely a hug, 9/10

Zhongli: thank you??

Dottore: @Childe u wish that was you huh

Childe: shut up

Oz: ambers hugs a very comfy too 9/10

Oz: Venti is gives questionable hugs but if u were having a bad day and u were in desperate need for love his hugs would be a 10/10 if not 8/10

Oz: the younger ones arent here but oh well.

Oz: diona does give okay hugs she just doesnt give it often 8/10

Oz: klees hugged me way too much but their still fun 7/10

Oz: sayus hugs arent that good 4/10

Oz: teucer is a no wtf man sometimes i ask what type of hug did that ginger even teach that mf 0/10 whatever he learnt is completely wrong my god and he clings onto my leg when im trying to fucking sleep let me sleep in peace you mother fucker what type of bullshit gave you that sleeping hobby sometimes i wish u would sleep with baizhu or albedo id lend u to paimon if she wasnt a girl jeus fucking christ @Childe please take back that musty crusty fucking ditry ass kid.

Paimon: so thats why you dont wake teucer up

Childe: i

Oz: qiqi is pretty oblivious when it comes to hugs but she unintentionally gives good hugs 7/10

Hu Tao: so kaeya and fischl r in 1st place

Oz: yes

Yanfei: wow

Albedo; kaeyas man titties r soft and idk why

Xingqiu: and why do you know that?

Xingqiu: caught in 4k bitch

Xingqiu: ive already took a screenshot dont even think about deleting

Albedo: ...

Venti: just wondering do u guys think grape juice should taste like alcohol

Xiao: sorry what.

Lisa: technically alcohol is from grape juice so

Kaeya: wtf grape juice

Diluc: die.

Chapter Text

It was the weekend on a sunny day, Keqing was staring at her phone listing on what Ayato had told her for her attempt to ask Ganyu out.






Ayato: heres the plan



Ayato: amusment park date. Bring the children as well.



Keqing: why would we bring the children if it’s a so called date?



Ayato: you’ll know sooner or later



Keqing: whatever



Ayato: go to Nantianmen theme park, it’s near Mt. Hu Lao and you can go star gaving there. Of course they’ve implanted stair to get to the top not to long ago. I can rent the top of the mountain.



Keqing: sorry what? If we’re going with children why would we walk up a whole mountain ??



Ayato: I'll explain then, the kids should give Ganyu a sense of duty, and theres a 89% chance that once you guys get up there they will falll asleep. Once they give you and Ganyu some time up there she’ll finally relax a little.



Keqing: oh I see what your doing there



Keqing: you really are reliable when it comes to this topic.



Ayato: im very much reliable in every topic how dare you !



Keqing: im pretty sure that’s your bf, hes literally called the fixer.



Ayato: ahaha...



Keqing: also ive been wondering, isnt Thoma your sisters servant ?



Ayato: kinda but she just sees him as her friend and me and him yk



Ayato: tbh if Ayaka didn’t choose thoma as her servant id be very much single rn



Ayato: anyway yk the plan?



Keqing: of course.



Keqing: also, thank you



Ayato: its my pleasure.



-end flashback-



I should ask albedo and baizhu if he wants to bring their kids...





Keqing made a group chat





Keqing: ill only say this once, im going to ask ganyu out and I wanna bring the kids.



Albedo: sure



Baizhu: alright then, ill tell paimon and oz the situation ok?



Keqing: thanks.





Keqing deleted a group chat





“Ganyu!” Keqing walked over to the blue haired lady, “Yes?” Ganyu was eating her left over blueberry pie she bought yesterday. “Wanna bring the kids to the amusement park? Albedo and Baizhu are busy today and I we havent really been outside to have fun for some time.” Keqing sat down on the table. “Sure, have you told Baizhu and Albedo yet?” Ganyu looked over at Keqing. “Yep, they said that they’d tell Paimon and the rest to come over. Also is Nantianmen theme park good?” Keqing took some grape and began to eat. “All good! What time?”





“Yay! We’ve arrived!” Paimon ran out of the small van, “This might be fun... after all Teucer isnt with me...“ Oz whispered, "Damn you really dont like Teucer." Paimon said," I mean.. who would?" Oz replied crossing his arms and huffing. "Good point."


Klee! No bombs!” Ganyu ran over to Klee holding her bombs. “Ayato was right huh...” Keqing whispered underneath her breath.


"Qiqi wants to go in that place." Qiqi pointed at the ferris wheel, "Then lets go there first okay?" Keqing gave her hand to Qiqi and Sayu who was next to Qiqi. "The ferris wheel is 4 people maximum, so we have to go in groups." Ganyu announced while getting in line with everyone. "Then we can go Ganyu,Oz,Sayu and Qiqi an-" then cut off by Paimon, "Wait!!! Me and Oz can take care of the kids while you guys can ride the ferris wheel together!"


“But you guys-” Ganyu once again cut off by a 13-year-old, “ I agree, we should go Paimon, Klee and Diona. Me, Qiqi and Sayu while you guys go together, we technically have responsibility for the little ones as well.”



Paimon and Oz, both looked at Keqing.



Thank you Paimon, Oz thank you for the love of god this wont really be helpful because im planning on confessing at night but oh well.



“I think what they mean is that we should go together to relax.” Keqing smiled and looked over at Ganyu, who had her arms clenched and bent to her chest. “O-oh okay then, me and Keqing will go together.”



“Oz, we did a great job.”





"They're great kids aren't they." Ganyu was finally relaxing, after all she was stopping Klee from doing things for a while now. "Hm?" Keqing looked over at Ganyu in surprise, "Oh! I mean Paimon and Oz." Ganyu looked straight to Keqing smiling in relief. "I'm glad we didn't come with............" Ganyu whispered, "Ganyu did you say something?" Keqing couldn't hear the end of what Ganyu said, "Oh, it's nothing!"



Oh it was something ;)



The ferris wheel ride was over and everyone was on land, "Ugh... I didn't think that I was scared of heights... God i feel like im gonna throw up..." Diona was on the verge of dying. "Hang on there! Klee will get some medicine!" Klee ran over to Paimon, "Paimon where do we get medicine!" Klee scremaed in panic, "Follow me." Paimon gave Klee her hands and they began to run. "If only Brother Baizhu were here he could fix things quickly, but the medicine from this place should work." Qiqi looked over at Paimon and Klee running back over. "Diona drink this!" Klee had a blue bottle in her small hands. Diona grabbed the blue bottle and drank the medicine, "Do you feel better? Sayu put her hand on Dionas back, "Yeah I am for now..."


"Should we go and rest for some time?" Keqing looked over at Ganyu who looked like she was about to burst out of tears. Oz also looked over at Ganyu then looked at Keqing, "I'll go and get some food for us, just sit somewhere and I'll find you." Oz looked over at Paimon, he was signalling her to comfort Ganyu with Keqing.


"Then I'll be going."



Switching pov.......



switches to Ganyus pov



I can hear everything. Black black black. Am I crying? no i can't feel any hot tears dropping. I failed to save Diona from that pain. I dont know what im doing... I can hear everyones footsteps i feel everyone looking at me i feel everything i feel i feel


please help me keqing. help me help me help me help me help help help help i want to scream i want to cry i want to die


but i can't scream i can't cry i can't die.



"Ganyu." who is that? I'll just ignore it.


"Ganyu!" it hurts get away from me




its keqing.






what is this warm feeling...


is keqing... comforting me?


keqing... did she listen to my panic?


did rex lapis listen?


i want to stay like this forever.



Switching pov.......


switching to Keqings pov



"It's okay, calm down." Keqings embrace slowly calmed Ganyu down, "It's not your fault, you shouldn't blame yourself for it."


Ganyu let go of Keqing, "Thank you Keqing." Ganyu rose her head and smiled, "It's not problem." Keqing smiled back, "You guys... really are a match made in heaven..." Oz, had already come back with the food, he was standing next to Paimon eating a small bowl of flaming red bolognese. "Damn this stuff is really good..." Paimon was eating tea break pancakes. "Oh, right earlier I asked everyone what they wanted but you guys weren't here so I just got you guys Tainshu Meat, that okay?" Oz still munching on his bolognese. "Yep, that's fine."



“In the end all the kids fell asleep huh.” Oz was carrying Qiqi while Paimon was carrying Sayu. “What do you expect? It's quite late right now.” Paimon and Oz were having their own little conversation while Ganyu and Keqing were just walking in silence.


“They should really get an elevator...” Ganyu was carrying Diona, while Keqing was carrying Klee. They were walking up to Mt. Hu Lao.


It was finally time confess, earlier Keqing already told Oz and Paimon about it and that they had a plan of just waiting by the stairs. Keqing looked over at Paimon and Oz, she nodded her head, that was the signal.


“Ganyu, Keqing, me and Oz are gonna take a break here so go up before us okay?”


“Alright, then. Keqing, shall we go?”



“The stars are really pretty.” Ganyu looked up at the sky, “The view is also nice, I could see this place being popular in the morning.” Keqing looked down.


It’s finally time, it’s now or never.


“Hey, Ganyu.”


“I like you.”



She isn’t responding... did I do something wrong?


“I like you too.”


Ganyu placed Dionas head onto her backpack and brought Keqing into a small kiss.

“We can’t do much since the kids are here so...”



“oh my god paimon you are an idiot...”

“shhhhh don’t make so much fucking noise...”

Chapter Text

“oh my god paimon you are an idiot...”

“shhhhh don’t make noise...”

“why would you want to take a fucking video on keqing confessing omg...”

“cause its cute and I can send it in the gc”

“what is your reasoning...”



Paimon: keqingconfessing.png


Paimon: GUYS OMG-


Xiao: woah she finally did it


Ayato: all thanks to me fellas


Aether: ayato why tf did u bring children to their so called date


Ayato: it just, brings things up a little yk? Plus it worked out !


Dottore: the amount of money you could make if you made others pay for your services...


Ayato: I already have enough money from my clan I don’t really need more lmao


Yoimiya: istg


Rosaria: wtf dionas a bartender ?


Diluc: yeah


Childe: excuse me


Sara: why tf is a 10 year old a bartender


Kaeya: it runs in their blood ig


Diluc: the orphans right


Kaeya: fuck u


Noelle: I thought that Kaeya was a brother from blood? He was adopted?


Diluc: yeah


Kaeya: mans is still not over the fact that I salted his grape juice


Gorou: im done


Kazuha: no thank you


Scaramouche: im leaving


Kokomi: I swear theyre gonna become a poly soon....


Fischl: If thy needs the help of the Prinzessin der Verurteilung herself for your personal matters!


Oz: what she means is that “im in a poly so I can help u with that”


Kazuha: uhm alright then


Bennett: you can also ask me or razor! However razor talks diffrently so it may cause confusion


Gorou: alright then...


Ayato: anyway who wants to be my next client


Thoma: yk u still have clan work right


Ayato: I can still handle it


Ayaka: “handeling” clan work is not giving me a quarter of your work. I even have Yoimiya helping me and yet I’m barely done.


Ayato: suddenly I have a client


Ayaka: im banning you from doing this so called “client” for a month. Do your fucking clan work.


Thoma: ^


Ayato: im the clan leader not u >: (


Ayaka: but im more responsible then you, meaning im in charge.


Yoimiya: I agree u should listen to Ayaka.


Ayato: do not team up omg...


Ayaka: then listen fucker.


Aether: AYOOO




Albedo: do not fucking ping me.


Albedo: nvm


Ayato: omg...


Ayato: the first time u swear is over text???


Ayaka: im gonna crumble you to shit bitch.


Eula: ayato she got her sword and her fan and shes moving fast


Ayato: oh fuck


Eula: also she has a bunch of so called “clan work” in here hands


Kazuha: I don’t really care what u do just don’t bother me scaramouche and gorou since we live with ayato but we don’t really wanna see his murder rn


Ayaka: ill make sure its quick and painless




Ayaka: good :)


Ayato: omg...


Ayato: im the clan leader and yet...


Diluc: fucking weakling


Ayato: shut up bitch ur clan doesn’t have so much fucking work


Ei: isnt Eula and Jean also in a clan?


Eula: yeah but my clan broke away so im not really in the clan anymore


Jean: technically I am in a clan but I don’t do much work because I am yet to be clan leader. However I do help out when the clan leader is sick.


Ei: fair enough.


Amber: come to think of it, doesn’t Liyue have any clans?


Zhongli: not really, they’re acrhon may be gone but the adepti are still there. There is also the Liyue Qixing, made up mostly humans.


Scaramouche: isnt Ningguang the next one to become the Tianquan. And isnt Jean the next dandelion knight of the knights of favonious or grand master.


La Signora: yeah ig.


Childe: oh well


Childe: snezhnaya doesn’t have anything to rule it, just an archon


Xinyan: does anyone wanna go to me and barbaras perfomance


Yanfei: sure


Xinyan: nice!


Paimon: @Baizhu ive been wondering for some time now but why does Qiqi drink so much medicine?


Oz: yeah, all my life ive seen her drink this medicine you make. Does she have a sickness or something?


Baizhu: she used to have a sickness but the medicine was to powerful for her so we decided that she would drink weaker medicine that would help her over the years. Shes supposed to stop drinking the medicine until shes around 12-14.


Dottore: oh okay then ig


Kaeya: @Xiao u should go and take ur bf


Xiao: where bitch where


Kaeya: at dilucs tavern

Chapter Text

Yanfei: why tf did I just see cocaine on the ground


Dainsleif: im on the cameras, and its this donna girl.


Diluc: oh hell no.


Kaeya: oh not donna


Zhongli: is something wrong with donna?


Lisa: shes a diluc simp and wont leave him alone.


Amber: donna again huh


Xingqiu: what the fuck do you mean again.


Ningguang: Donna has purposely left drugs on the ground in front of diluc to get his attention.


Beidou: ok ik im like the captain of the crux but like that’s way too far even for me


Diluc: that bitch wont leave me alone.


Diluc: ive changed lockers and locker passcode exactly 27 times and every time she has somehow found my locker and found out my passcode.


Kaeya: shes insane.


Albedo: I swear she has tried to become me and Kaeyas friend to get closer to diluc.




Eula: if it werent donna I wouldve said “coming from you that’s nothing” however I must agree she is insane.


Fischl: I hate her I hate her get the rachet human away from me.


Fischl: one-time diluc dropped his phone and I picked it up for him and that fucker screamed at me.


Fischl: like tf???


Razor: donna insane. Razor want in jail.


Xiangling: oh please no just hearing that name gives me a sour taste in my mouth.


Rosaria: I don’t understand how she even got in this school.


Paimon: well im glad that ive never met that psycho????


Oz: ^


Jean: it looks like shes near expulsion.


Zhongli: we should wait until shes gone to the rate of expulsion to expel her.


Diluc: just expel her now omg.


Lumine: damn not the council planning to expel her


Mona: honestly if it were anyone else id try to keep them in but that girl deserves jail so im not complaining.


Ayato: We should talk about council matters in private.


Ayaka: yes we should.


Yae Miko: lets discuss this in person.


Lisa: it seems the student council won't be online for a while.


Xiao: I feel like they should just expel her and leave it at that tbh.


Venti: yeah, I agree, she bothers everyone yet she has barely been punished.


Dottore: the student council doesn’t seem scared of her


Childe: I wanna lick zhonglis abs omg


Childe: fuck wrong chat




Xingqiu: ilysm


Chongyun: ily




Gorou: my sister hacked it


Childe: well then fuck you kokomi


Beidou: wait doesn’t zhongli know you like him?


Childe: no hes really oblivious and dense....


Paimon: but ill be honest, it doesn’t seem natrual.


Xiao: what do you mean by that?


Noelle: you mean that he might be acting oblivious?


Paimon: yeah that!


Scaramouche: honestly hes a little to dense for his age its quite concerning


Childe: I really don’t know any more fuck


Venti: this is so confusing damn


Yanfei: zhongli acting huh


Hu Tao: if only mona was here but shes part of the student council so shes offline...


La Sinora: well then lets start bets?


Baizhu: oh hell yeah


Dottore: 700 on hes not oblivious.


Bennett: 60 on that hes not oblivious.


Kaeya: damn when Bennetts doing this its serious.


Razor: 90 not


Fischl: 100 on not oblivious.


Xiangling: 200 on oblivious.


Gorou: not betting


Kazuha: ^


Scaramouche: 80 on not oblivious.


Paimon: I don’t have much mora rn so 40 on oblivious.


Oz: 5 on not oblivious.


Xinyan: damn that’s a small amount


Oz: unlike some of you guys I spend my mora wisely


Xinyan: fair


Xinyan: not betting


Xiao: 600 on oblivious


La Signora: 500 not oblivious


Barbara: not betting


Noelle: 30 on oblivious


Xingqiu: 300 on oblivious


Chongyun: 100 on oblivious


Venti: 60 on oblivious ?


Kaeya: 200 on oblivious


Yoimiya: 400 on not oblivious


Baizhu: 400 on oblivious


Sara: not betting


Lisa: 100 on not oblivious


Lumine: 50 on oblivious


Aether: ^


Rosaria: 50 on not oblivious


Yanfei: not betting


Hu Tao: ^


Beidou: 200 not oblivious


Sucrose: not betting and ive done the math.


Sucrose: oblivious is 1730 mora while not oblivious is 2285.


Sucrose: meaning that if zhongli is oblivious then the people who betted not oblivious will have to give the amount of money they betted and the others will share the amount equally. The same if the other team wins.


Sucrose: I have reordered who is on which team and how much money they have betted.


Sucrose: after this we should ask Mona about it.


Sucrose: to the student council i apologise because of your meeting you guys cannot bet, the betting table has now been closed.

Chapter Text




Yesterday at the student council meeting. Diluc pov


“Let’s hope we can get to where Donna gets expelled.” Diluc was outside the council room.


In there were only 9 seats filled, meaning there was only half the student council there now. At the top of the ladder sat Dainsleif next to him were Jean and Ningguang. Jean was always so serious it would surprise him at times, and of course she is serious now. Ningguang was playing with her fingers or sharp gloves.

Next would be the Kamisato siblings, who sat across from each other. Now that he thinks about it, the only time Ayato is serious is when of course, doing clan work and matters like these. Usually, he would have this wide smile on his face, but now he had a cold serious and almost scary face. Ayaka who had her fan covering her face, but now that he looks at them again. They almost look like they're out for blood, but let’s be honest, it wouldn’t be surprising if the clan leaders of Inazuma had blood on their hands. It was almost expected that they would have blood on their hands.


Then there was Keqing, she was responsible, she doesn’t really like to expel people so she would most likely be the enemy. Then there would be her girlfriend Ganyu, even before they were dating Ganyu would be on Keqings side at all times.


Thoma, also known as Kamisato Ayakas servant to those who aren’t close friends with the Kamisato siblings. However, to the friends he’s more like ‘the next one to become a Kamisato’ since hes dating Kamisato Ayato. They might as well be married, pretty sure Thoma or Ayato are planning to ask for marriage but thinks now is a little too early.


Lisa, always making potions and reading books. Also, more known as ‘the librarian’ of course people do help her but usually it's just her.


Eula, or more known as Eula Lawrance, descendant of a now broken clan. Still, people at school see her as this rude Lawrance person that should just burn to the ground because of her clans deeds.


Last was the one at the bottom of the student council, Amber, everybody loves her and she doesn’t really like to expel people, another possible enemy in this case.



Diluc sat across from Eula and next to Eula was supposed to be Mona, however it looked like she hadn’t arrived yet.


“Hello.” Yae Miko and Ei, not in a clan but still able to survive as Inazumans. They sat across from each other next to the Kamisato Siblings while Keqing sat next to Ei.


“Am I late?” Ganyu had also appeared, “No you're not, in fact others has yet to arrive.” Dainsleif said in his calm and collected manner. Then Ganyu who was almost panicking had sat next to Keqing.


Sangonomiya Kokomi, Divine Priestess of Watatsumi Island, she had just arrived and is now sitting across Ganyu with Thoma sitting next to her. The look in her eyes almost looked as if she was ready for blood shed like the Kamisato Siblings. She didn’t say anything however, just like she did with their other meetings. She was dead silent until she wanted to negotiate. Actually, no, everyone in the council was dead silent unless they were negotiating, saying hello or asking questions. Even when handing things out dead silent.


Mona or, the astrologist Mona, really the only reason the student council picked her out was for her ability to see the past, present and future. Her ability to read the stars, or her astrology. She was walked over to Diluc, whom she sat next to.


Albedo, that guy everyone finds pretty, except only to see him and Kaeya as a couple. Often people go, “Albedos so my type! However, he’s gay and taken...” the disappointment people get when they realize a hot shot is taken. Other than his good looks he’s great in school and he skipped grades so people would try to hit on him. He should be glad both Kaeya and him let people around school that they were dating because if they didn’t the amount of love letters both of them would get is insane.


Then there was Zhongli, second last to arrive. Zhongli seemed like any womans dream, but he was so ‘dense’ that when people try to hit on him, he can't take the hint.


The last one to arrive, Sara who was the adopted daughter of the Kujou Clan, she wasn’t like Kokomi or the Kamisato siblings as to where she was only the daughter, not one of the leaders. Just the daughter, obviously she is okay with that.


“It seems everyone has arrived. We will now discuss the matter of Donnas addiction with Diluc, a member of the student 20 students of the student council.” Dainsleif the student council presidents announced. It was finally time to negotiate.


“I think we should see what Diluc has to say first.” Zhongli looked over at Diluc, “I agree.” Ningguang placed both hands on her lap and looked straight at Diluc. “Opinion approved, Diluc please give us your opinion the situation.” All eyes were on him, from the ones that seemed like they were at for bloodshed to the eyes that seemed worried and the ones that were unbothered.


“I feel as if we should expel her, not only has she been bothering me but other students as well. She has done many things that count as harassment towards me. I feel as if expulsion would be the best answer.” Let’s hope things go on the road I want.


“To those who agree with Dilucs statement on Donna please stand up.” Dainsleif said as a way to tally the opinions on those who seem to agree with Diluc.


Eula, the Kamisato siblings, Thoma, Kokomi, Sara, Ei, Yae Miko, Mona, Ningguang, Albedo, Lisa, Ganyu and surprisingly Keqing stood up.


“To those who have stood up please state why you agree.” Dainsleif looked over at Mona, “In the order of the rankings.”


“Yes, I agree to Dilucs statement because Donna has been causing trouble throughout school since high school. Meaning that she has been bothering the students for 6 years or so. However, the student council has overlooked this matter because she hadn’t been causing that much trouble before. However now she had gone to extreme levels, it seems we cannot change her attitude. Expulsion would be the only answer.” Mona looked over at Dainsleif with determined eyes. “Okay, I see, next please.”


“Yes, Donna has done things that is illegal. It would ruin the school if the outside world found out that she has used illegal substances to get attention from Diluc. That alone should expel her she has done many wrong doings.” Eula had her hand on her hip., she said with confidence.


“I see. Next please.”


“My statement is the same as Eula.” Sara said in her cool and serious demeanor.


“She’s a bother to my experiments, she steals all sorts of things from my lab, plus with whatever she's doing with them it’s probably something to do with Diluc.” Albedo said with the most frustrating tone.


“Honestly, whatever she’s doing with the substances that she stole from Albedo, ah right. I’ve seen her borrow a book on something closely related to wine. She was holding a weird substance which I presume would be what she stole from, Albedo's lab. Dilucs family is well known for the wine they brew, so it's not surprising if she borrowed that book for Diluc.” Lisa smiled and looked at Diluc.


“Ahem, so Donna has not only bothered the students, but also people outside of school. Including children that Diluc, more knowns as the dark night candy man to the kids. Apparently, she didn’t like that Diluc was sharing candy to some kids so she did... uhm well... things to the kids...” It looked as if Ganyu was about to burst out into tears until Keqing held her hand.


“Things... yes okay Thoma please go ahead.”


“Honestly, if we were to keep her here any longer our school might have to pay a large fee for her wrong doings. Even if it weren’t us, it would be her family and we all know the fee would at least be 800,000 mora. If we can get her to not get to Diluc anymore, which would be expulsion, then that fee would be gone like the wind.”




“Her obsession with Diluc gets out of hand, maybe one day, she might murder someone. From what’s happening to her now it wouldn’t be surprising if she did anymore. She would call it “undying love for diluc” it's too much.” Other than Mona, Kokomi would be the second-best person to figure out who could murder someone next. After all she has the brain that works for a never-ending war.


“Yes, from Monas statement, because Mona can read the stars meaning that she can see the future. If Donna were to not do even worser things in the future then Mona would prefer to keep her in school. However, Mona would like to expel her meaning that if we keep her in school any longer then things will get out of hand.” It looks like things will be going the right way. Donna getting expelled.


“Understood, next.”


“My statement is the same as Thomas, Monas and Keqing. She done too much for us to do anything at all. So, our best option would to expel her no matter how much she offers or how much she struggles.”


“My statement is the same as my brothers.” Kamisato siblings always agree with Thoma because Thoma would be speaking for them, especially Ayato, Ayato does not like public appearances in Inazuma, if you saw him on the streets of Inazuma or anywhere really you wouldn’t recognize him. You would only recognize Ayaka who does the talking for them. However, if the time comes to where Thoma could speak for them they’d use it right away no questions asked.


“Everything that Donna does including Diluc would count as stalking so she should just get expelled right away.” Yae Miko crossed her arms.


“My statement is the same as Mikos.” Ei looked over at Dainsleif.


“The last statement, Ningguang, why do you agree with the statement.”


“All the statements leading up to me are all worthy of Donna becoming expelled. From top to bottom it's clear that she should be expelled right away. So, I agree with all statements below.” Short and snappy that’s the Ningguang I know.


“Well then. Jean and Amber.”


“Dainsleif, I would like to retract my words. I also agree to expel Donna.”


“Uhm... me too !”


Amber and Jean are now in the expelling team I guess.


“Well then. I’ll put your statements to good use.”


End of the council meeting



Dainsleif: I decided that id tell her that she is expelled on the weekends.


Aether: damn


Lumine: that’s rough buddy

Chapter Text


Yanfei: my dorm is right next to Donnas and when Dain was letting her know she is expelled she started attacking him


Albedo: someone tell me why paimon asked me and biazhu for poison

Albedo: oh.

Xingqiu: not even the president can stop her from being violent huh.

Yanfei: in the end Ningguang and Beidou were able to stop her somehow.

Mona: it caused a lot of people to their dorm but they got her to pack her things somehow

Diluc: atleast shes fucking gone.

Rosaria: ^

Amber: yes atleast

Kokomi: now we get a donna free school

Scaramouche: sounds like fun

Gorou: very fun

Kazuha: fun indeed


Thoma: oh don’t u dare


Thoma: stfu

Ayaka: isnt it ur break or did I mis calculate something?

Thoma: ayaka it means that on our sex break the one who is supposed to be top is kidan like the one in charge for personal matters ig

Ayato: what he said !

Bennett: wow u guys r so complicated

Chongyun: wait ive been wondering if u fischl and bennett had sex howd it go?

Fischl: Do not speak such vulgar language about the Prinzessin !


Xingqiu: no cause im actually kinda curious


Xingqiu: I mean for me and chongyun it would be quite obivous but for u guys idk


Razor: razor don’t know


Jean: I don’t really think this topic is appropriate considering Fischl is still underage.


Lisa: yeah I agree we should wait until her birthday comes


Dottore: why tf did I just see diluc do some random trick that left little children candy on their head


Dottore: he was wearing some batman looking ass clothing to


La Signora: hes the dark knight candy man

Dottore: damn no shit?

Scaramouche: yep

Childe: it sounds so weird like wtf

Yoimiya: atleast the kids r having fun

Kaeya: wait what about when dilucs gone

Dainsleif: @Diluc want a part time job once u graduate

Diluc: sure

Dainsleif: nice doing business with you

Diluc: no need

Kaeya: wow

Venti: wow indeed

Eula: it seems that the students are still talking about donna

Diluc: can we shut up about donna

Hu tao: damn

Zhongli: Donna is gone now so I don’t see a need to talk about Donna.

Ayato: ig yeah

Ayato: also once the month is over so like October can the ppl who are single and lonely like tell me so that ik so once this month break of clients is over I can get back to my client work….

Kazuha: okay why did I just see beidou and ningguang making out

Scaramouche: wait they’re dating?

Noelle: they are? I didn’t know

Zhongli: they didn’t announce it but yes they are dating

Childe: damn

Thoma: wait who tf is ajax

Rosaria: who tf

Aether: wait what

Lumine: ajax u mean the dish soap or something

Thoma: there’s someone called ajax on the register

Baizhu: damn aren’t u like in the student council shouldn’t yk

Thoma: bitch I don’t do this stuff it’s just they needed help with shit and then this ajax person came up and like bitch I

Childe: ajax is me

Xinyan: damn i’ve been using childe to do the dishes huh

Gorou: isn’t ur name like tarbalia or some shit

Kokomi: I thought it was torbilia?

Kazuha: wait wtf I thought his real name was childe

Xiao: it isn’t tachilia?

Venti: wait I thought it was tartagilia

Albedo: it isn’t tohilua?

Kaeya: bitch I thought it was tarchila tf

Yanfei: isn’t it borbilia

Hu tao: wait it isn’t torilla

Razor: razor thought tarpillia…

Fischl: it’s not tartiglia?

Bennett: wait so it isn’t tortaglia

Noelle: it’s not forschilia?

Xingqiu: wait so it wasn’t torchfprllia

Chongyun: I thought it was korchillia what

Dottore: i’m shitting tears

La Signora: you simply cannot find such entertainment anywhere else

Childe: so the name u guys have been trying to say is tartaglia…

Childe: so I have 3 names one of them is ajax childe and then tartaglia…

Childe: but how come all of u guys weren’t able to get the correct name tf…

Oz: all ur names are difficult to remember

Paimon: yeah

Childe: I hate u guys

Childe: wait mona

Mona: yeah

Childe: is zhongli pretending to be oblivious or not.

Mona: pay me bitch

Childe: sigh

Sucrose: @everyone Ladies and gentlmen now is time to find out whether or not Mr. Zhongli is oblivious of not.

Sucrose: please make sure you have the amount you betted ready.

Mona: hes pretending

Chapter Text

Mona: hes pretending


Childe: oh.


Xiao: ..


Xianling: idk what how im supposed to be feeling rn...


Baizhu: what the fuck.


Sucrose: okay okay. So according to the agreement, lumine,aether,baizhu,kaeya,venti,xingqiu,chongyun,noelle,xiao,paimon and xiangling will have to pay their share of the deal. If I don’t remember how much u betted please dm me.


Sucrose: we can do the money transaction in my dorm room.


Thoma: okay im in the kitchen rn and I see childe just staring blankly at the ceiling and its creeping me tf out


Venti: so I was sleeping and uh


Venti: yeah I don’t think ill be able to process this...


Scaramouche: I fucking knew it


Oz: damn I just got big money from only betting 5 mora


Paimon: I fucking hate u


La Signora: what a great deal.


Yae Miko: you couldn’t tell?


Ayato: im pretty sure most of the students knew but now that I think about it, it was probably only the council...


Lisa: though I did bet I am in the student council; it was fun seeing people bet that he was oblivious ~


Beidou: so. The student council knew ???


Ningguang: yeah


Yoimiya: and you didn’t fucking tell us????


Mona: well, we figured that there was probably a reason he was acting like that so we left him be


Sara: ^


Dottore: so how does he feel now that we know...


Kaeya: im shitting tears


Gorou: imagine how childes feeling rn


Venti: he looks like hes going through the 5 stages of grief.


Childe: no hes very much oblivious...


Xingqiu: stage 1 denial.


Childe: I yeah theres no way...


Childe: mona hes oblivious and ur stars are fucking wrong.


Mona: bitch.


Mona: im always correct


Xingqiu: stage 2 anger


Childe: im so


Childe: ugh.


Xingqiu: stage 3 bargaining


Childe: I feel like shit im gonna cry


Xingqiu: stage 4 depression


Venti: fuck childe just turned off his phone and got his arrows im fucking scared








Kaeya: I think I just saw childe walking to dorm 40


Xingqiu: aether we should run and leave zhongli there we don’t wanna get caught up in their shit.


Aether: already on it


Aether: who can let me live in their dorm for a while....


Chongyun: the only spot available between all of us is one of the girls dorms and xingqius taken our dorm for now


Aether: fuck


Aether: @Kokomi @Lisa @La Signora so like r yall okay with me living with u guys for a while...


Dainsleif: I can like let u live in my room for some time. Ur like really fucking small so u should fit.


Aether: TY <33


Kaeya: damn now I have a fucking shorty in my dorm


Dottore: ^


Diluc: aether looks like a child and the menace will be living with me


Diluc: that’s just great


Aether: shut up im a great person

Chapter Text

“It looks like my cover has been blown.” Zhongli placed his phone down it was highly likely Childe would come to his dorm to have a chat with him. Xingqiu and Aether left to give him and Childe “alone time” or they’re just scared that things won't go the right way and they’d prefer to not be caught up in this mess.


Then the door broke open, it was Childe, “Zhongli we’re gonna have a nice and long chat.”


“Hello, Childe.” Zhongli looked over at the young ginger and the now broken door. “Come in, do you want anything?” Zhongli stood up as Childe began to run to him. “I don’t need anything I want to know why you did that.” his hand was on the dark-haired man's collar, he almost looks as if he was going to burst into tears.


“I have no excuses.” Damn Zhongli being calmed annoyed Childe so much.


“I literally was shouting that I like you and you just left it and pretended to not know anything...”


“I fucking hate you.”


Words of hatred came pouring out of Childes mouth, they both knew he didn’t mean such words; he just couldn’t think of anything else to say. In truth Zhongli felt very hurt even if he knew they were very much fake. I mean fake or not anyone would be hurt if their love said that... right?


“Childe...I’m sorry.” Zhongli put his hands on Childes shoulder, “You don’t have to forgive me if you think your right. But I just want to tell you that I’m sorry for my actions.”


“You better be.”


Childe wasn’t one to forgive people easily, but it’s Zhongli were talking about he loved him for all his heart.


Childe whispered something in Snezhnayan, he let go of Zhongli, “I’ll forgive you if you can get me whoppe flower nectar, a damanged mask and water from the oceaind.”


Zhongli was capable of everything on the list, after all he was a descendent of the geo archon. Though Childe didn’t know that but he might one day.


“Then I’ll be back in a week.”





Childe: and that’s what he said and yeah....


Aether: bitch u should be glad that he isnt online rn.


Xingqiu: what the absoloute fuck.




Venti: I uh


Venti: well consedring the situation, hes 100% serious


Lisa: so hes actually getting those things for childe??


Sara: that’s some next level comitment


Oz: so what do we do?


Paimon: well its been 3 days since he last seen him and he said that he’d come back in a week.


Venti: I guess in this situation the secret should be blown...


Venti: well, the thing is zhongli is the desendant of the geo archon, morax.


Xinyan: what.


Childe: excuse me.


Amber: wait why do you know that???


Venti: well techinally I am the anemo archons desendant so ofc id know who the desendants are


Ei: im also a desendant, the electro archons.


Scaramouche: so u guys have like better powers then us???


Ei: percisly.


Venti: we arent that different from u guys just a few extra things for being the desendant ~


Xiangling: but first we have to find a way to make sure zhonglis safe.


Ei: oh hes gonna be afe alright.


Venti: honestly in his geo form probably one of the scariest dudes ever


Childe: still..


Ei: if I can solo the oceanid, so can he.


Venti: ^


Hu tao: you guys can what.


Venti: its zhongli hes gonna be fine


Gorou: how are u guys so calm


Venti: because that bitch is so powerful, he just doesn’t show it often


Rosaria: powerful yet doesn’t show


Childe: I thinking about that is kinda... hot......


Eula: now is not the fucking time to have those thoughts


Ayato: I can hold a search party ig.


Venti: no need <3


Ei: we can contact the hydro desendant to see if hes fighting the oceanid atm


Venti: sure


Barbara: well this is a


Barbara: discovery


Ayato: @Yae Miko @Xiao did u know this shit


Xiao: yeah


Yae Miko: mhm


Ayaka: we’ve got other problems to deal with we, need to make sure zhongli is safe.


Ningguang: for now, we should figure out his location.


Yoimiya: @Ei I remember there were tales about the elctro archon being able to track people down using the thunder that blotz down. Can you do that?


Ei: Unlike the electro archon, I cant track down archon desendants, I can only track down normal people.


Venti: ok so I asked and she said that he was there around 30 minutes ago, in 30 minutes hes able to go to either Qingce Village, Wuwang Hill,Stone gate, Wolvendom and Dawn winery. It more likely that he went to Qingce Village to rest or something.


Childe: on it boss


Dottore: ur seriously not going are u


Childe: ofc im going


Dainsleif: bitch.


Beidou: I should go im like older then all of yall


Ningguang: no.


Ei: none of u guys should go, just let him be he isnt that fucking weak


Venti: ^^


Venti: plus if we did decided someone should go it would be me or ei


Ei: ^^


Jean: why does he decide to leave right after donnas explusion...


Mona: maybe this would’ve been better if I didn’t tell you guys

Chapter Text

Venti: trust us just wait for 4 days then shit will do its thing


Baal: ^^


Childe: yeah no


Ganyu: I think it would be a better decision to wait for his return.


Keqing: I agree, nothing would go well trying to “save” someone who does not need saving.


Yanfei: if we remember the key information, it seems as if Zhongli has left around 30 minutes, meaning he already beat the oceanid.


Yanfei: other then that, you asked for whopper flower nectar and a damaged mask.


Yanfei: in the times of the gods that would be easy to get, but its been years since then, whoppeflowers and hilichurls are near extinction.


Yanfei: the common known place on where hilichurls are at, is Yaoguang shoal, and from the list options of where he could be, it would take 1-3 hours for a normal person without breaks.


Venti: for zhongli probably 1 hour max tbh


Ei: I guess


Xiao: in summary he will be fine.


Kokomi: exactly


Childe: no.


Scaramouche: you are one stubborn bitch


Venti: then what if I take a fucking picture of zhongli for u will you agree then


Childe: maybe.


Baal: fucking hell


Venti: you can kinda teleport u take the pic <3


Baal: jesus fucking


Baal: okay okay hold on.


Yae Miko: sigh


Sara: this really is a disaster


Barbara: I agree, still I can see why it is a disaster


Noelle: I feel as if most of us are panicking but we still try our best to maintain calm…


Venti: @Xiao bring childe to dorm lock him up


Xiao: on it


Childe: bitch ur not locking me anywhere




Xiao: childeonthegroundpinneddown.png


Venti: good.


Kazuha: wow.


Scaramouche: god this is confusing


Gorou: ig for now we have ppl to fix this problem so we shouldn’t touch it too much


Xiangling: ^


Xingqiu: i’m gonna take a nap im not gonna deal with this shit <3


Chongyun: come take a nap with me


Xingqiu: yk what sure


Bennett: well that was a lot to take in


Lisa: yes a lot at once.



-With Zhongli-


“Oh, I forgot to get a damaged mask.” He was at Wangshu Inn, he decided he’d take a break from the work he has been doing. “I can do that tomorrow” he thought to himself, though he is capable for getting whopper flower nectar, water from the oceanid and a damaged mask is it a weird request.


He must have thought I wasn’t capable of all of those things. A cute little thing.


A smile lit up across Zhonglis face, but then again it is reasonable that he thought he couldn’t do it. After all, him and most of the desendantds don’t like to tell people that fact. If he is correct, Venti or Baal might’ve let the secret out because of the situation.


Zhongli searched in his pants for the whopper flower nectar he stored, “Oh” only to realize that it fell out of his pocket. Oh well, he can always just find more of them.


A loud thunder crashed down just a few meters away from the inn. Everyone in the inn could hear, making most of the people jump at the sound. “Did Eis power go overload again?” Zhongli thought, I mean when the desendants were still trying to use their power Ei did that all the time on accident. Still, why would that happen?


“Zhongli open the fuck up.” the voice of a young purple hiared lady was brought to Zhonglis door. Surprised at the sudden outcome, he opened the door, only to get flashed in the face with a flash from Ei taking a picture of him. “That should do.” Ei began to type something on her phone, “Ei, do you need something?” Zhongli who has just opened the door, was utterly confused.


“Hold on, Hello Xiao right? Can you pass the phone to Childe. Mm. Thanks. This is for you.”


Baal passes her Yae Miko themed phone to Zhongli.


“I uh, Hello?”




Childe was one the other side of the phone, screaming his fucking heart out.




“I mean you ordered me to do so, so it would only be right to do it.”


“Are you fucking kidding me.”


“Dumb mother fucker.”


“Thats quite rude”


“what the fuck are u actually dense or not I really cant tell.”


“Anyway you don’t have to uh get those things anymore”




“Because of already frogiven you so theres no need to uhm get those.”


“Okay then.”


“BUT I would like to know why the fuck you pretended.”


“Well, first of all it was cute to see you squirming around like that.”


Childe should be glad that they weren’t talking face to face.


“I... also like you by the way...”


“Let’s start dating.”


“Now? Are you sure? Won’t your parents disapprove?”


“Oh, you can’t be that stupid. Snezhnaya is literally the land of love why would they disapprove of love?”


“Oh, I see.”



“Now give me my fucking phone back.” Ei has her arms crossed looking at Zhongli with disgust. “I’ll talk to you later.” Zhongli hung up and gave Eis phone back. “I’ll be going now.” Ei walked down the inn and telported back to the dorms.


“Her ability wouldv’e been great if she could teleport others.” Zhongli thought to himself, oh well I guess that was less work for him.





-With Childe-


“Uhm so like are you okay.” Xiao was looking at Childe who was basically screaming into his narwhal plush.


“WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU MEAN AM I OKAY I BECAME BOYFRIENDS WITH ZHONGLI.” Childe screamed at Xiao, god that made his ears hurt.


“You know what, I’m leaving.” Xiao walked over to the door and slammed it.


“Dating.... Zhongli...”



and childe had the biggest gay panic in his life.

Chapter Text

Childe: my stomach HURTS




Aether: this is unfair what the fuck.




Hu tao: IM SORRY?


Xinyan: dude lemme see the account what the hell


Ayato: its called franono


Chongyun: what


Kaeya: the hell?


Dottore: well that is one unique name


Xiao: well.


Eula: interesting indeed.








-orders and commissions-


Xingqiu: don’t you dare.


La Signora: try me.


Xingqiu: ill cancel your order if you do.


La Signora: never mind.


Xingqiu: that’s what I thought.







Chongyun: who knows I guess.


Childe: is it one of us?


Xiao: probably


Amber: ofc its one of us who else other then us would write fanfiction one each other??


Scaramouche: why did I just walk into the teacher's office and hear that them talking about someone giving porn for their essay.


Jean: excuse me??


Keqing: that’s quite inappropriate.


Ganyu: yes, I feel the student council may need to find someone.


Lisa: hm.


Diluc: fucking hell.


Zhongli: porn for a school essay, confusing yet intriguing.


Xinyan: yall better tell us once u find out lmao





-orderes and commisions-


Xingqiu: you couldve said no porn yk


Venti: shut up





Scaramouche: they said it was weird and gross yet very well written and jesus christ


Childe: whos good at writing in here.


Oz: well.


Paimon: entertainment at its finest


Albedo: ^





-orders and commisions-

Xingqiu: ill hold you on gun point if anyone of you guys say that I wrote the essay for venti


Ningguang: hm.


Paimon: well.


Oz: really entertaining.


Aether: not like we would say anything, this is very entertaining


Lumine: ^


Ayaka: ^


Albedo: ^


Lisa: ^


Gorou: ^


Kazuha: ^


Ningguang: me and sara may be in the student council, there are times when we drop the title for ourselves.


Sara: yep.


La Signora: well.


Venti: I don’t regret anything.


Xingqiu: well I guess that’s good.







Bennett: a good writer, who is a good writer out of all of us?


Xiao: well, Fischl,Xingqiu,Lisa are all I know


Childe: eula is also very good.


Amber: oz is really good as well


Gorou: kokomi is really good and so is kazuha


Ayato: well


Ayaka: we can leave this matter in the student councils or the teachers hands.


Lumine: once you figure out whos behind the essay tell us ; )


Aether: ^^


Rosaria: those twins are suspicious.


Paimon: I don’t think so


Dainsleif: archons above why must you make me go through this


Dainsleif: what the fuck did I do in my past life to deserve this


Ei: wow.


Beidou: well this is new


Kazuha: new indeed


Scaramouche: ^^


Amber: well


Xingqiu: we should leave this to the student council


Chongyun: yeah


Sayu: hello


Oz: so you were here the entire time


Kokomi: I added her again because she wanted to see what was happening with yoimiya


Yoimiya: so why didn’t we get the notification???


Kokomi: hacks


Yoimiya: understandable have a great day


Gorou: so.


Gorou: how long have you been here?


Sayu: ever since someone added me


Kokomi: ehe


Kazuha: well


Sayu: i’ve seen everything


Ayato: everything you say


Sayu: everything


Sayu: I should’ve never been curious


Sayu: my poor eyes


Kokomi: I warned you didn’t i


Sayu: true


Scaramouche: you should be careful around the internet. it’s a really dangerous place. don’t tell people you are 11 people might take advantage of that and it won’t end well


Sayu: thank you older brother kuni


Scaramouche: if you need anything you can always ask any of us seniors, all of us may look dumb or stupid now we are still capable of things that may help you.


Sayu: thank you dear elders


Scaramouche: you learn to much at a young age


Dottore: is this what I think it is....


Baizhu: so scaramouche has a soft spot for kids


Scaramouche: no I do not.


Albedo: well would you let beidou near any of the children except oz and paimon.


Scaramouche: id rather get some piece of shit stuck up my ass my entire life.


Kazuha: and what if I was the piece of shit?


Thoma: BITCH.




Gorou: damn my buddy be making moves


Kokomi: this is something else


Yae Miko: interesting.


Bennett: what about the poly relationship between u three


Gorou: im marrying my dog


Bennett: understandable have a great day


Sara: when the hell did you get a dog


Gorou: yesterday


Barbara: can we get pictures?


Gorou: dog.png


Xiangling: they look exactly like you LMAO


Kokomi: im pretty sure that the only reason he got that specific dog


Noelle: we should have a party where we bring all our pets!


Venti: oh that would be fun


Scaramouche: I have 17 cats you sure ?




Scaramouche: lets hold the party.


Venti: BITCH

Chapter Text

Yoimiya: im so lonley

Hu tao: ayaka is right there

Yanfei: I hu tao stfu

Hu tao: okay

Kaeya: I just know something will happen once ayatos services are back


Thoma: he does know his next target

Childe: honestly am scared.

Venti: we should all be

Xiangling: cry

Fischl: What hoe! If one is single one does not need such services! Use your great mind to get the relationship thou wants. One may think one does not have the proficiency to get thou relationship. However! If thou strive to get ones relationship to the utmost perfection, thou can get your wanted relationship!

Yoimiya: what the fuck

Paimon: back to speaking paragraphs

Oz: what my sister means is that “if ur lonley u don’t need to use ayatos services. U might think u don’t have the power to get the relationship with ayaka but if u try even harder u will”

Yoimiya: I UHM THANK U-

Fischl: The Prinzessin does not need your praises! It is only natrual the Prinzessin helps those in need.

Venti: what if I asked you to do my essay?

Fischl: fuck off

Venti: this is favoritism

Childe: LMAOOO

Scaramouche: fucking deserved

La Signora: ^

Thoma: BYE

Venti: I am ur senior

Fischl: then why are u asking for my help


Oz: just give up better luck next time

Paimon: fischl can you help me with my essay?

Fischl: Why of course dear Paimon!

Venti: I

Baizhu: IM DONE-

Sayu: you deserved it

Gorou: even a 11 year old admits it


Albedo: you guys feel that?

Barbara: hear what?

Albedo: its ventis brain gears

Barbara: but im not feeling anything

Albedo: exactly. Theyre broken

Kaeya: OMG-

Eula: wow




Xiao: im not gone im just watching


Zhongli: even by your own lover

Zhongli: tragic

Venti: OMFG-

Keqing: you know its really tragic if zhongli says something about it

Ganyu: ^


Childe: well it is now

Kazuha: you brought that to urself


Xinyan: just when this were getting good

Chongyun: exactly

Xingqiu: sigh

Xiangling: damn

Sara: did you just sigh on text

Xingqiu: yeah what about it

Sara: nvm

Xingqiu: : )

Lisa: im so tired

Barbara: I think we should use sleepy instead of tired! Its more wholesome :DD

Scaramouche: @Childe im so sleepy of your shit


Scaramouche: exist

Kazuha: that was intresting

Gorou: once I start third wheeling I will cry

Kazuha: oh fuck off

Aether: honestly if I third wheeled id cry as well

Xiangling: gorou.

Gorou: I yes?

Xiangling: lets start a “third wheeling” club

Gorou: yes.




Chongyun: that’s a lot of typos

Kaeya: damn isnt my fucking fault u cant get a person to like u

Kaeya: go get a boyfriend istg

Albedo: or a girlfriend shes bi




Lisa: did yall just

Lisa: yk what nvm

Jean: well.

Albedo: u brought this on urself @Amber

Amber: fuck u

Diluc: well that was vulgar

Amber: speak for urself bitch

Diluc: fuck u

Hu tao: well.

Hu tao: diluc if u want a customized coffin contact me

Diluc: i

Yanfei: sh hu tao now is not the time for advertising

Yoimiya: I damn

Yoimiya: really had to do for it

Hu tao: it’s business why not

Zhongli: grammarly works the same as I remember but where are those who share the memory

Childe: please don’t bring up grammarly

Venti: damn not the grammarly incident

Xingqiu: what grammarly incident

Chongyun: ^

Venti: you wouldn’t understand

Xiao: it was the best comedy I had gotten in years

La Signora: ^

Dottore: oh it was comedy goals

Scaramouche: ^

Sara: I still want to know this grammarly incident.

Ei: not now, but later

Yae Miko: it still makes ei laugh it was great

Xiangling: seriously what is this grammarly incident

Kokomi: oh you wouldn’t want to know

Noelle: well if it’s something someone’s uncomfortable with then maybe it’s better if we don’t try to pry?

Childe: noelle are u an angel

Noelle: ?

Xinyan: well that’s.

Xingqiu: my god she’s so

Chongyun: so pure

Xiangling: so innocent

Fischl: We must preserve the young lady Noelle !

Noelle: there’s no need! I am quite strong myself no need to protect me

Lumine: she shouldn’t be here

Aether: ikr

Noelle: why wouldn’t i?

Lumine: don’t worry it’s a compliment

Noelle: oh well then thank you

Lumine: ur welcome

Sara: do we have any reports on the porn essay ?

Ei: as of now, the teachers have not said anything but theirs is approximately a 73.49% chance they will. We should be ready if they say anything to us just in case.

Sara: understood.

Ayato: sometimes I wonder why we don’t use the student council gc that much but then I remember that we just talk about the minor things in here

Ayaka: mhm

Thoma: it’s fine ig

Xingqiu: just asking, what defines minor and major things

Dainslief: Well, for example the Donna incident was a major problem while that one time when someone suggested we install vending machines was a minor

Xingqiu: I okay

Chapter Text

The light of the sun shone on Ayaka, it was different in Inazuma. The sun was different yet the same, in Inazuma she would be on the floor with an Inazuman matress. Along with servants waking her up then changing her clothes because she was a noble woman. However, in here she is on a bed, no servants are here to wake her up and she changes her clothes by herself. You could say that her previous life in Inazuma was better, but Ayaka preferred the life here. She was more normal, in Inazuma she is Kamisato Ayaka of the Yashiro Commision. When people talk about her here she is Kamisato Siblings or Kamisato Ayaka. However, when she’s alone or with her friends and brother, she is just Ayaka. Only Ayaka, no Kamisato Ayaka or anything else.


Ayato probably feels the same, maybe that why he wanted him and her to come here in terms of learning education outside of Inazuma. Thankfully, the other clans agreed and the Kujou clan even sent their daughter Sara.


“Happy birthday Ayaka.” Eula, her friend and dormmate, she had a situation similar to hers but because of an incident her clan broke. She still get glares and other things because of her clans deeds. “Thank you, Eula.” Ayaka bow down with her fan covering her mouth then Eula bowd down with her am on her chest crossing her legs together.


“Good morning!” a loud voice came from the staircase, Ayaka turned around to see a bruntte girl and amber eyes. “Good morning, Xinyan.” Ayaka smiled at the young lady, “Oh! Happy birthday Ayaka!” Xinyan gave her a pat on the back.


“Sucrose, what are you cooking today?” Xinyan looked over at the green haired lady, who seemed to be concentrating. “Xinyan, it is best to leave Sucrose alone at the moment.” Eula and Sucrose were together for a few years so you could say they knew each other well. “She’ll get shocked and drop the plate if she sees you waiting behind her, it’s best to sit down.”


Sucrose placed down their plates, she had a sudden realization. “Oh! I- uhm happy birthday Ms. Ayaka.” Sucrose was visibly nervous and tense, well she always was but there were times where she was calm.


“No need to for formalities.” Ayaka smiled at Sucrose making Sucrose calm down a little, “I understand, Ayaka.”





Ayato knew that Ayaka prefered to celebrate her birthday with only 1-4 people so throwing a party with everyone would be... weird?? Oh well. He and a certain blondie had a plan anyway.





“Happy birthday, Kamisato.” Student to student saying the same thing, “Just call me Ayaka.” and repeating that one sentence. She didn’t like formalities unless needed, other clans would call her the same but she didn’t mind because they were another clan in Inazuma. However, these people are just students along with her.


‘Just because I’m in a clan doesn’t mean I’m that different from you. Just treat me normally.’ Good thing that didn’t come out of her mouth.





“Happy birthday Ayaka!” Yoimiya ran towards her in the hallway shouting, “Hello, Yoimiya.” Ayaka smiled at her in return. “Guess what! I’ve got a surprise for you!” The blondie looked at her with sparkles in her eyes. “Really? Then I’ll look forward to it.” The blue haired lady looked over at the Yoimiyas golden eyes.


“Hehe I hope you will.”


It was history, where they would learn about the previous archons and a traveler.


“This traveler had the strength to go upon a four wind from Mondsatdt, defeat the ancient god Osial, stop the vision hunt decree and many other deeds of good. However, they had not come to to our home land alone. They had a twin, who was leading the abyss......” Ayaka listened to the teachers voice thinking “What if this traveler had done come at the time?” Who knows what would happen, this world was different from before, they probably wouldn’t show up in history books.


“History is so boring...” Ayaka heard a small whisper from the seat behind her, it was just some male classmate. “If only I didn’t get held back.”


‘Held back?’


“Plus I was just expressing my love for Barbara.”


‘Barbara? He means the young idol Barbara?’


‘I’ll record him just in case he’s the one molesting Barbara.’


Ayaka took her phone out and pressed the record button, as long as she was careful no one would notice.


“Barbara is my waifu of course I can express my love to her ugh those mother fuckers can die.”


‘Yep this is the one.’


“Albert. What are you whispering about.” The history teacher took notice of the mans behaviour. “Nothing.” He responded with annoyance in his tone.


“Hm. I might have to get involved.” Ayaka whispered, still recording everything going on.


‘Guess this recording will go striaght to Jean.’




“Excuse me, is Jean in here?” Ayaka opened the door to class 3-1 of the college years.


“Oh! Hello Ayaka! Also Jean went to the bathroom she’ll probably be back soon.” a young blond lady shouted over at her. “Thank you Yoimiya. I’ll wait for her then.” Ayaka smiled as she stood beside the door.


Jean walked into the room, the little lady grabbed the taller woman wrist. “Ayaka? What are you doing here. You aren’t in the class.” Jean looked at Ayaka in surprise. It wasn’t like Ayaka to do these things, “I have a request. I want you to listen to this recording.” The blue haired lady put her fan covering her mouth in her pocket and gave her phone to the green eyes lady with 2 hands.


“Oh... so he’s still obsessed.” Jean looked dissapointed, angry and sad at the same time. “Do you think I should deal with him? If Dainsleif agrees of course.” Ayak brought her fan back to cover her mouth. “Yes, I’ll ask Dainsleif.”


“What about me?” Dainsleif was at the door looking at the two women. “It’s about Albert.” Jean looked over at Dainsleif, “Oh well go ahead.” Dainsleif looked at them with a small smile. “Thank you.” Jean bowed down, “Do what you think is a good punsihment for him.”


A good punishment in the Yashiro Commision would be, well their lives? No that’s a little to extreme. Expulsion? Jail? To complicated. A beati- no. This is why I usually leave punishment to others... I can ask Thoma maybe he knows.




“A punishment... well I think maybe money or a restraining order would be good.” Thoma put his left hand on his chin while the other on his hip. “Hm. I see. Thank you Thoma.”


“Your welcome my lady.”


“I’ll slip a restraining order for him and Barbara tommorow.” It was around 5 pm.




-Private chat with Yoimiya-


Yoimiya: @Ayaka


Ayaka: yes?


Yoimiya: can you meet me at the rooftop at 7 pm?


Ayaka: okay :)


-End of Private chat-


“Just 2 hours, I should shower and get ready to go.”




“Yoimiyaaaaa you don’t with them yet.” Ayato plopped down on Yoimiyas chair, “Just a moment Ayato...” Yoimiya was in full concentration. “God I even had to finish my clan work in a rush to avoid getting seen by Thoma or Ayaka.” Ayato looked over at the blondie.


“Sigh,your so concentrated im getting so bored.”


“Did you just say sigh.” the blondie stopped working and looked over at the clan leader. “Did I?” he smircked at the young lady, “God this is why some people prefer to avoid you.”




Finally 7pm Yoimiya was on top of the roof, “Hello Ayaka.” the blond smiled at the lady, “Fireworks?” Ayaka looked over at the things beside Yoimiyas feet. “Oh! I was thinking I’d throw a firework shoe for you because it’s your birthday today!” The blonde girl smiled at Ayaka. “Oh! Thank you very much Yoimiya.”


“Here goes!!” Yoimiya started to light the fireworks, then after some time the fireworks were in the sky.

“Ayaka.” Ayaka who was admiring the fireworks, “Yes?”


“Will you go out with me?”


Ayaka was in shock, she planned all this on her birthday to confess? Her mind was going hay wire. ‘Oh god what do I say.’ Accept? I mean Ayaka liked her to that’s for sure but what if the other clan figure out? Wait Ayato’s technically dating Thoma dating Yoimiya wouldn’t hurt right? Oh fuck it let’s give it a shot.


“Yes.” Ayaka said with her calm tone and smiled at the blondie.

Chapter Text

Albedo: I just realised we don’t have a chat name


Ayato: you want a chat name? ill give u a chat name


Albedo: i



Ayato changed the chat name into “fruity pruity”



Albedo: excuse me


Ayato: makes sense right? We're all fruity


Sayu: I am right here


Oz: ^


Paimon: ^


Ayato: yall just havent come out yet


Ayato: speaking of fruity ppl


Ayato: ayakaconfessing.png


Thoma: holy shit she finally did it


Kokomi: oh wow


Yae Miko: they had it coming.


Sara: ^


Ei: now if scaramouche and kazuha


Scaramouche: what.


Ei: then we can complete the “inzumans that cant confess but everyone knows they like each other” list.


Gorou: oh yeah


Xiangling: we couldve celebrated ayakas bday how dare u ayato


Ayato: bitch ayaka doesn’t like to celebrate her birthday


Xiangling: understandale have a great day






Yoimiya: damn so u got a vid


Ayato: late but yes I fucking did


Yoimiya: sigh


Xingqiu: damn


Chongyun: #broken


Xingqiu: im sorry what


Chongyun: sorry what?


Xingqiu: lets cuddle


Zhongli: why arent you in our dorm anymore? @Aether @Xingqiu


Aether: uh


Xingqiu: chongyun


Aether: idk I like having dainsleif around????


Dainsleif: ill let them slide.


Zhongli: alright then


Childe: damn so zhongli was a whole dorm to himself now?


La Signora: what thinking shit?


Childe: .


Dottore: woah woah yall only started dating recently


Scaramouche: horny bitch


Childe: anyway


Xingqiu: so about the grammarly incident


Childe: so about the porn essay : )


Xingqiu: ...





-Private chat with Childe-




Childe: : D


Xingqiu: ugh


-End of private chat-





Noelle: what about them?


Xingqiu: oh its nothing


Noelle: alright then


Aether: sigh


Lumine: knowing both feels amazing


Aether: ikr


Ayaka: I can say the same.


Jean: both?


Lisa: its nothing Jean


Jean: alright then


Dainsleif: there are complaints that zhongli has an entire dorm for himself what do we do


Xingqiu: oh fuck


Aether: zhongli we told u not to be sus


Zhongli: well.


Zhongli: who’s giving the complaints?


Dainsleif: uh dms


Zhongli: I don’t want to deal with them


Zhongli: someone else deal with them


Ayato: I tf am I witnessing rn


Keqing: did I read that wrong


Ganyu: that’s... interesting.


Ningguang: a zhongli who refuses to do something.


Ei: Your reason?


Zhongli: those guys always try to find trouble with me I don’t want to go near them.


Albedo: wow


Lisa: interesting.


Kokomi: the Inazumans can take care of them.


Scaramouche: wait all of us?


Ayaka: we just need to make them fear our group and the student council we can succeed.


Sara: understood.


Ganyu: I feel it is more appropriate if the Liyuens do the job.


Xiao: Zhongli is still a Liyuen it would look bad if Inazumans did the job.


Keqing: That is correct.


Ei: alright then, we will leave them to you.


Rosaria: I like how the student council does not give two shits if we’re here


Yoimiya: ikr


Albedo: its because yall don’t tell anyone our minor things


Xinyan: so ur saying that there are like 40 ppl here and u trust all of us?


Albedo: like theres almost 20 ppl in the student council and those 20 ppl are here


Xinyan: understandable


Venti: @Thoma I may of may not have done something to our dorm


Thoma: coming


Childe: oh what the fuck


Venti: hoe I gave u a chance to live with lili for a while use it bitch


Childe: I


Xiao: @Venti what about us


Venti: we can


Childe: for that opportunity ill lend u one of my private houses.




Xiao: oh.




Xiao: smart my ass


Kaeya: ok that was just pure luck what the fuck.


Rosaria: ikr


Beidou: this isnt fair


Xingqiu: ur dating a rich lady wtf do u mean


Beidou: and ur a rich boy


Xingqiu: this isnt about me this is about u


Beidou: this isnt about me this is about u


Xingqiu: I


Beidou: give up kid


Xingqiu: I am 18


Beidou: and I am 21


Xingqiu: I give up


Xingqiu: chongyun lets cuddle


Chongyun: yes


Ayato: damn now I want cuddles


Thoma: rn im busy sorry


Ayato: sobs


Childe: thoma is a no.1 housekeeper istg


Venti: ur also pretty good at cleaning


Childe: u and xiao. Why must u make me go through ur messes with thoma.


Venti: ehe


Xiao: deal with it


Keqing: idk if I should be feeling surprised or not


Ningguang: both


Diluc: suddenly this chat is normal


Aether: guys I think I saw a cum infested boba cup


Diluc: I hate everything


Lumine: IM WHAT




Oz: okay who did it.


Paimon: im so done


Scaramouche: im going to scream


Kazuha: why would one want to do the dirty with BOBA.


Venti: holy shit theyre fucking kinky ??


Venti: not even I could think of that holy


Xiao: I feel dissapointed.


Albedo: that PERSON should go through PUBLIC HUMILATION shouldn’t they :D


Mona: yeah I fucking agree :D


Ayaka: hm.


Ayaka: interesting.


Yoimiya: I think ayakas gonna go insane.


Zhongli: masturbation with boba. Well I would see why one would want to the pearls are explicit


Ei: zhongli what the fuck.


Venti: ^


Childe: i............


Fischl: that’s fucking disgusting wtf do u mean explicit.


Bennett: ^


Razor: kaeya disgusting


Gorou: oh.


Xinyan: OH


Xiangling: OH??


Amber: OH!??!!???!?!?!


Lisa: that’s my junior


Chongyun: speak tf up. @Kaeya






Beidou: U WHAT/


Xingqiu: fuck


Chongyun: nuh uh not on my watch


Sara: boba x kaeya


Sara: interesting.


Kokomi: interesting indeed.


Diluc: I am disgusted.


Diluc: to think my own brother had sex with boba


Diluc: im disowning u


Kaeya: yall I


Albedo: hm. What do you have to say Kaeya.


Kaeya: but u knew why r u ganging up on me now :(


Albedo: hm. Did I?


Mona: Did he?


Kaeya: i......


Beidou: ur just making the situation worse pack it up kiddo


Kaeya: ur only a year older wtf do u mean kiddo


Beidou: so? Im still older then u


Beidou: at least im sane enough to not fuck boba


Kaeya: that was ancient history


Aether: if it was ancient fucking history why is it still in the bin. Plus it’s the first fucking thing.


Aether: kaeya I was at school.


Aether: meaning u MASTURBATED on campus.


Aether: bitch do the fucking dirty in ur dorm holy shit


Kaeya: bitch ur in my dorm


Aether: SO???












Albedo: didn’t I say that the person who did this deserves public humiliation :D




Albedo: I will stand there and watch










Lumine: pop off brother








La Signora: comedy goals






Sucrose: please don’t.


Aether: OMG-




Aether: im done.


Gorou: clap


Scaramouche: clap


Kazuha: clap


Xiangling: clap


Lumine: well done.

Chapter Text

Keqing: who is putting rex lapis posters on the school boards.


Ganyu: we will be taking them down soon but we would like to know who did it.


Xingqiu: why do u guys always ask us first


Keqing: because other then you people who would put rex lapis posters on the school boards?


Xiangling: fair


Keqing: well if it weren’t you guys then you probably know who put them.


Yanfei: i’m pretty sure I saw hopkins or something putting up posters


Hu tao: u mean the guy who goes by “hopkins the marvelous” ?


Yanfei: yeah i’m pretty sure


Keqing: problem fucking solved.


Ayato: damn why r u so mad those rex lapis posters were fun to look at


Zhongli: back when she was in elementary


Keqing: oh fuck no


Zhongli: as I was saying


Zhongli: back when she was in elementary


Zhongli: she had a thing for rex lapis


Chongyun: WHAT


Childe: wait you mean




Scaramouche: the


Scaramouche: the what now


Kazuha: rexlapisdragon.png


Kazuha: it was a popular story throughout liyuen kids in keqings days of glory ig


Scaramouche: THAT THING


La Signora: I had faith in you


Dottore: i’m passing away




Albedo: i uh well. that’s interesting


Jean: I thought u were sane back in the day


Eula: you are in no place to talk


Jean: wdym.


Eula: don’t say wdym I know the amount of dvalin merchandise you have


Venti: oh no not dvalin


Gorou: it better not be a dragon.


Kaeya: dvalin.png


Kazuha: ah yes, one of the most popular stories of mondstadt and to this day is still popular among children.


Baizhu: I cannot do this today


Scaramouche: y’all are fucking insane


Mona: oh god not the dragon


Ayaka: maybe us inazumans are more normal then we thought


Ayato: yeah.


Kokomi: I don’t think we have many folk tales that are well known


Kokomi: though watatsumi island does have orobashi, though we worshipped it I guess


La Signora: orobashi is a serpent like creature correct?


Kokomi: im pretty sure


La Signora: interesting


Sucrose: guys who keep stealing the things in the lab.


Albedo: istg yall better be able to tell the difference between cocaine and fucking flour out of all things.


Albedo: I was already tired of donna bitch once she was gone I thought that none of my materials are gonna get stolen but some fucking whore has stolen something and I will let my wrath get to them.


Albedo: everything from my sword to my fucking flower elevator is ready to murder a bitch.


Kaeya: I uh albedo lets calm down


Kaeya: we don’t want to do something illegal today


Kaeya: we can figure out who did it but u cannot murder someone


Albedo: fine, the least I could do is make them at the edge of death but not that far in that they die


Xingqiu: #scared


Ningguang: hm.


Lisa: angry albedo sure is scary


Eula: it isnt scary if your not the one hes after


Amber: that I can agree with, but its still kinda scary even if ur not the one hes after


Albedo: then u guys should be glad I don’t get angry easily.


Jean: yes we are very glad.


Diluc: did some research it was soraya


Albedo: time to kill a bitch


Kaeya: not kill bring her to the end of her life but not at the end of her life


Albedo: right.


Yanfei: soraya is the one girl who wants to go sumeru academy right


Hu tao: yeah im pretty sure


Yanfei: hm.


Thoma: well that problem is solved


Venti: ehe


Xiao: speaking of problems is our dorm okay


Thoma: well uh

Chapter Text

Thoma: well uh

Xiao: well?

Venti: it better not be anything bad

Thoma: about that

Thoma: uhm theres a bunch of glass shards everywhere and smoke and shit ton of things I don’t want to know how tf yall were able to get there but it likely its gonna be in repair for like a week or so

Venti: so a week of childe living with lili understood.

Thoma: is that the only thing u got from that

Venti: yes

Thoma: i

Venti: ehe

Thoma: well childe ill leave u to pay for repairs

Childe: I sure

Thoma: good

Xinyan: so ur just gonna not say anything abt this shit

Gorou: yeah

Xinyan: understandable have a great day

Scaramouche: maybe it would be fun if we had a normal day

Yanfei: and what defines normal?

Scaramouche: a day where I feel like I want to do double suicide with dazai

Kazuha: ^

Hu tao: want a customized coffin :D

Scaramouche: uh sure

Hu tao: nice to the dms we go

Ayato: yanfei x hutao or kazuha x scaramouche

Childe: well we can do uh

Ei: if we do kazuha and scara then the entire inazuman gang is finished

Kokomi: ^

Gorou: im ready to be a third wheel dw

Ayato: I see


Ayato: @Scaramouche im not letting u die until u gay bitches are together :)

Ayato: thank me

Scaramouche: i

Scaramouche: no

Ayato: goddamn

Ayato: ive got a plan now

Ayato: but ive still got work to do so

Yanfei: sometimes I forget that certain people are in the student council

Hu tao: ^

Oz: I cannot do math rn someone do it for me

Rosaria: look in dms

Oz: thanks

Paimon: o can u do mine to then

Rosaria: sure I like u two anyway

Venti: why didn’t I have this when I was ur age

Paimon: its because ur dumb enough to make most ur seniors dislike u

Oz: ^

Venti: this is venti slander

Childe: at least childe slander is over

Kazuha: you really shouldn’t have said that

Venti: then ill make it childe slander.

Venti: @Xingqiu @Chongyun @Fischl @Sara @Xinyan @Barbara @Noelle @Oz @Paimon @Razor @Bennett

Venti: let me tell you about the grammarly incident

Childe: u wouldn’t dare

Xingqiu: yes pls

Chongyun: id like to hear

Razor: ^

Oz: sure

Sara: please do tell

Noelle: isnt that an invasion of privacy...

Venti: no its not u deserve to hear the lovely tales of the seniors

Venti: once upon a time

Venti: theres a little lad who liked berries and cream

Childe: don’t bring berries and cream into this

Venti: childe he had this gf

Venti: mans had like 3 different girlfriends every month

Venti: and then he decided that he’d ask for his gf to help him with an essay

Venti: and then his gf deadass gave him a human grammarly

Venti: aka her friend

Venti: and then his gf tried to like yk hit on him behind her back

Venti: and this man deadass thought she was asking him to hook her up with someone

Xingqiu: WHAT


Venti: SHE WAS F L I R T I N G

Venti: AND THIS BITCH WENT “Oh thank you~ C O M R A D E”


Venti: and then when she flirted with him even more he just

Venti: Oh! Are you asking me to hook you up with a friend of mine?

Venti: how dense is this man he hooked up with so many hoes

Venti: and then she deadass put her hand on his thigh and went “no not that”

Venti: and he

Ei: he went “are you saying you’re a human grammarly?”

Xingqiu: WTF

Chongyun: @Childe what made u think that

Ei: we arent fucking done

Ei: and then after she just snapped and said “omg cant u see im trying to flirt with you? Im much better then that other girl.”

Ei: and then he just looked at her all shocked and because he saw her as a younger sibling he just went “uh sorry but I only see u as a younger sister” she slapped him and left him to do the essay by himself

Ei: he got a good 79%

Ei: then the girl just went all psycho and ruined the relationship and that’s when childe knew he was gay

Xiangling: what a conflict

Ei: im still not done

Bennett: theres more??

Oz: apparently yes

Ei: then they ‘drew’ a concerningly detailed dick onto childes leg without him looking

Ei: he didn’t know until a week later once it was gone

Xingqiu: WHAT

Fischl: okay okay so to sum it up

Fischl: childe had a dick tattoo on his leg for a week.

Albedo: wait a minute

Albedo: so that’s why they commissioned me to draw a detailed dick??

Ei: I thought u knew??

Albedo: there is a reason why I don’t listen to school drama



Childe: i.........

Dottore: no wonder it was so detailed

Baizhu: I cant believe we live together

Xingqiu: so if albedo declined the offer this incident wouldn’t have happened???

Eula: it seems so

Childe: albedo I will be holding a grudge against u

Albedo: i

Albedo: sure

Chapter Text

Xingqiu woke up next to his boyfriend. It had been some time since Zhongli was living by himself, and with Childe for a while. “Morning, Xingqiu.” his boyfriend whispered to the boy. “You need to visit them, right?” Chongyun groaned as he slowly lifted himself up. “That’s right, though I only have to see them for 3 hours or so. It’s also at night so we can still spend most of the day together.” the boy smiled at the other hoping it would make him feel better. “I see, we should ask the council to give us a day of absent.” the ice man smiled at the writer. Xingqiu smiled and lifted himself up out of the bed. Stretching his arms out. “I hope night never comes.” he thinks to himself.


“You want a leave of absence?” Dainslief looked at the couple, “Oh, you want to go on a date together for your birthday. Sure, I don’t mind. Enjoy your birthday.” Dainslief waved at them goodbye and left for more of his duties.


“Well, that went smoothly~!” Xingqiu and Chongyun intertwined their hands together, both smiling at each other, like they weren’t people watching the two. “Xingqiu!!” a familiar voice ran towards them, “Happy birthday!” it was Xiangling, Xinyan was also next to her, “Here.” Xinyan handed a small box. “This is me and Xinayns present.” Xiangling put her hands behind her back giggling. “Oh, thank you.” Xingqiu put his hand near his collar bone. “Heard you guys were having a leave of absence, on a date?” the musician chuckled at the end of her sentence. “Yep, and were going now. Farewell.” Chongyun pulled Xingqiu away from the two and started to walk fast enough to get out of the hallway.


“Well, that sucks.”


“Be honest that was likely to happen.”



“Chongyun?” Xingqiu asked the boy in front of him, who was dragging him away. “I’m going to spend the whole day with you alone. I’m not letting anything get in our way.” The light blue haired man said in an calm voice. Xingqiu found it cute on how he was flustered, his ears were a pretty shade of pink already.


“Make sure you don’t over heat yourself~”


“What do you wanna do first?” Chongyun asked the boy holding his hand tight.“Wanna go to karaoke?” The birthday boy smiled at the other. “Alright then. I’ll get some money.”


“It’s come to my attention, That I don’t show enough...” Xingqiu was singing his heart out as Chongyun listened to his voice. He isn’t in choir but the man still thinks his voice is really nice to listen to, in contrary with his handwriting. The lyrics were nice to, and both of them really liked this artist. “Alright, it's your turn Chongyun!” the boy handed the microphone to the other. “What song should I do?” Chongyun asked the other, “Uh any song should be fine.”


“Then I’ll do summer is for falling in love.”


Switching pov...


Switched to Xingqiu



Ah Chongyun looks so hot- I wait no cute? Fuck not the word uh you know what I'm sticking to hot. Fucking hell, he’s so wow damn to think I'm dating him is mwah. Thank fuck he can't hear my thoughts right now. The dirty thoughts I- I'm too young for that. If only we were a bit older



Switching pov...


Switched to -!009834q2+



“Wah! That was fun.” Xingqiu stretched his arms out, “So? What now? Its only 4 we still have like 4 hours left.” The writer looked over at his boyfriend, “Wanna eat?”


“I wanna eat sweets.” The birthday boy simply stated as he pointed at the Inazuman sweet stall just on the street. “What do you want?” the popsicle lover asked his lover (pun intended), Xingqiu looked closely at the menu, "Uh dango milk, sakura mochi and a taiyaki... Yep that’s about it for me.”


“Yes, what about you?” the seller began to take those 3 out, “A tricolor dango and another taiyaki.” Chongyun looked up at the seller as he said his order. “Alright! Just wait a moment your sweets will be coming soon.”


“So, this is what the Inazumans eat on a daily... especially Madam Ei.” Xingqiu drank his dango milk, well kind of chewed. “The textures like porridge, Chongyun, wanna try?” The birthday boy handed over the dango milk to his loved one. Chongyun took the bottle away from him, “It does feel like porridge. It still tastes really good, wanna come to this place another time?” Chongyun looked over at the other and asked. “If we have the time, maybe we can even bring the others!” The dark blued hair boy said as he munched onto his sakura mochi. “Can I drink the rest of this?” Chongyun asked the boy beside him, “Sure, I still have my taiyaki and my sakura mochi to finish.”


“Well, I guess that it, I’ll be going to them now.” It was around 6pm just an hour before Xingqiu had to meet them. He was meeting his family.


When he was around 15 years old, he discovered that he was bisexual. He has a good family life, everyone got along including his parents. He thought maybe there was a chance that they’d accept him. However, when he decided to tell everyone. “You, like both men and women?” his father looked at him in shock. “No, I’m not having a son who can like men.” Xingqiu was in shock, his mother, told him words that broke his heart. “Now, now, it’s okay that he can like men, right? He can still like women too.” his grandfather tried to calm the other side of the family down. “Well, if you won't accept your own kid, we will. He is still our grandson. If we need to, we will be taking care of him from now on.” His grandmother spoke up to the two. “Fine, have him.” Xingqiu’s father stood up and left the room. “Xingqiu follow us.”


“Why?” Xingqiu burst to tears, “Listen, the thing is. Me and your grandmother, we are also able to like the same gender. Just like you.” his grandfather smiled as him and so did his grandmother. “Really, in others eyes we may seem like lover, but we see each other as friends.” his grandmother said with a smile on her face. “Make sure you date the boy or girl you love. If there are any consequences, we can deal with them.”


“Pack your stuff, you're living with us now.”



“Ah! Hello Xingqiu.” his grandmother welcomed him to the celebration. “Happy birthday, Xingqiu.” it had been some time since then. His mother chose to let him be but she couldn’t accept him so she decided that she wouldn’t bother his life to much anymore. He would see his grandparents weekly, but the rest of his family only on his birthday. “Thank you.” It was suffocating in there; it was better than before but it still hurt inside. “Take a seat.” his brother never told him if we accepted him or not, but from his actions it was clear that he had accepted him.


“Xingqiu, are you dating anyone?” His brother asked him ignoring how his mother and father reacted to that question. “Oh, yes I am. I’m dating Chongyun.”


“Ah! You mean Chongyun the exorcist? Well, that’s good. He’s a very good boy.” his mother was delighted to hear the news. She thought that if Xingqiu were to date a boy, then it could be at least be Chongyun. After all, they were friends since elementary school, the family knew who he was. “Good for you.” his brother smiled and started to eat more of his food. “Ah, I was getting worried that we would have to do an introduction and stuff, turn out we’ve already met him! That’s wonderful.” his grandfather commented. “I’m pretty sure we’re still going to have to do the introduction as him not as a friend but my boyfriend.” Xingqiu chuckled just after his words.



“Make sure you don’t catch a cold!” His mother and brother said their goodbyes, “Until next time Xingqiu, maybe we can hang out outside of just your birthday.” his brother patted him on the back. “Here. Knowing Chongyun he probably payed a date or something for you guys. Make sure you pay him back on our behalf. And say that we thank him for taking care of you over the years.” His father handed him some mora. “Oh, uhm thank you dad.”


“You don’t have to call me dad if you feel uncomfortable with it. You can just call us our names.” His father smiled at him and walked away.



“So? How was it.”


“Chongyun, I think I’m gonna burst into tears...”




And then they spent the night cuddling each other as Xingqiu told him how his dinner went.

Chapter Text

Scaramouche: theres fucking shit in the pool


Xingqiu: WHAT


Yoimiya: excuse me


Hu tao: IM WTF


Albedo: that’s disgusting


Scaramouche: hey at least I don’t need to swim


Sara: who tf


Scaramouche: apparently some kid thought it was a good idea to shit in the pool


Ayato: HELOP


Oz: gross


Paimon: EW


Xiangling: im shitting tears\


Barbara: so are they like gonna take it out????


Scaramouche: theyre trying


Xiao: hello


Xiao: goodbye






Gorou: I.......


Rosaria: im disappointed


Scaramouche: I hate everything


Beidou: oh my god


Ningguang: disgusting


Sayu: whoever that kid is pls go to jail


Xinyan: sigh


Childe: imagine ur just like going to swim and then when u arrive there a fucking piece of shit in the pool


Amber: mhm


Noelle: theres a what


Baizhu: a piece of shit in the pool


Dottore: pics or it didn’t happen @Scaramouche


Scaramouche: apieceofshitinapool.png


Ayaka: oh my god...


Thoma: that’s a pretty big shit wait




Kaeya: ikr


Scaramouche: what the fuck






Diluc: what the fuck


Yoimiya: no no u have a point


Kazuha: I have to agree, it does look like a dick


Dainsleif: why is it so long




Kokomi: this is... interesting to watch


Scaramouche: but it isnt fucking interesting to be in it


Zhongli: im sorry everyone, but they have a point.




Amber: I keep looking at it and yeah it looks like a dick


Albedo: if its shaped like a dick doesn’t that mean that the kid had a dick thrust out of their asshole


Chongyun: omg...


Lisa: oh my


Sucrose: well then lets figure it out?


Mona: by what? Putting the piece of shit back in its ass??


Albedo: possibly


Mona: …


Ganyu: what the fuck do u mean possibly.


Albedo: idk what do I mean?


Sucrose: anyway


Noelle: so the kids went through sex?


Barbara: I mean yeah if u think of it that way...


Jean: we shouldn’t be talking about this


Lisa: don’t lie your laughing your balls out rn


Diluc: sometimes u give me entertainment, other times u give me bullshit


La Signora: ^


Ei: ^


Yae Miko: ^


Scaramouche: okay they got it out


Kazuha: do yk whos shit it was?


Scaramouche: why would I wanna know whos shit that was


Kazuha: I okay


Scaramouche: anyway, someone pick me up


Ei: well how’d u even get there anyway?? Just use the same way


Scaramouche: walked there I don’t feel like walking rn


Kazuha: ill pick u up


Scaramouche: thanks


Gorou: I really am gonna be a hardcore third wheel huh


Kokomi: yes u r


Baizhu: sometimes I like how this chat changes topics quickly


Oz: I agree


Amber: sigh


Amber: gorou ur nothing


Amber: bleh


Amber: weak


Amber: ive been fifth wheeling for 5 whole years


Gorou: oh fuck u


Lumine: if amber had a trophy


Aether: It would be for being the best fifth wheel


Amber: I


Venti: pls


Lumine: u wouldn’t even get a trophy


Venti: I have 5 trophies for music


Barbara: and so do I


Xinyan: I have even more


Fischl: your only superior when you have more than 24 trophies


Albedo: I have 32 suck on that


Ningguang: 49 bitch.


Dainsleif: 61


Kaeya: what the fuck.

Chapter Text

“It’s time to wak-” Xinyan shut off her alarm clock, it was October 16th, her own birthday.

“Happy birthday, Xinyan.” Ayaka, Xinyan roommate and technically friend. “Thank you, Ayaka.” Xinyan looked over at Eula, it was her turn to make everyone breakfast. “Sucrose is still asleep?” Whenever it wasn’t Sucrose turn to make food, she’d sleep in, everyone promised to wake her up once food was ready.

“Food’s ready.” Eula placed down 4 of the plates containing a breakfast sandwich (like egg benedict but in genshin there is something called adventure breakfast sandwich). “I’ll wake up Sucrose.” Eula walked up the stair case to Sucrose's bedroom. “Eula makes great food doesn’t she.” Ayaka commented on the former Lawrance food. “That’s right, I’d love to have this every day to be honest.”


Xinyan doesn’t have anyone to celebrate her birthday with like Xingqiu and Chongyun. As an aromantic, she usually just goes out with family. Music is the most important thing in her life, she loves music, almost like it were her partner. It’s a hobby that became what she wanted to be her career. Of course, her family got mad at her at first, but slowly they came to understand her and accepted her. Like how she needs to come out as aromatic.


“Happy birthday, Xinyan.” Xinyan heard a familiar voice from behind, it was Chongyun and Xingqiu, one of the gayest people she’s met. “Here, a birthday gift from Chongyun and I.” Xingqiu gave her a box wrapped in a dark red and a silk bow. “Damn, it looks kinda fancy to be honest.”

“Of course, it is I’m rich as fuck.”


It was around 1 in the afternoon, Xinyan already got Dainsleif approval to skip the rest of the day. “Do you guys think I should come out to my family today?” Xinyan looked over at the people sitting on the same table. Eating some snacks and just talking, “So that’s what’s having you spaced out and thinking.” Xiangling looked over at the other with her bright happy eyes. “Well, I think you should. It’s been a few years since you figured yourself out.” the boy with light blue eyes suggested as he licked his frozen popsicle. “Okay, then.”


“Xinyan! Come, in.” Xinyan welcomed the girl with warm smiles with the sound of her mother and the rest of her family on the dinner table. Including, aunts, uncles, cousins and her grandparents. To sum it up, everyone in her family is there. “Happy birthday, Xinyan!” her youngest cousin walked up to her and hugged her; however, she was too short to go over the hips. “Thank you.” Xinyan patted her on the head as she lifted, it’s good that her entire family so she could announce it to everyone.

“Xinyan, how’s college going?” her grandmother looked over at the young girl, old wrinkle on her face, unfortunately the person who was supposed to be next to the old and frail lady, was gone. “It’s going great, I have fun with Xiangling, Chongyun and Xingqiu a lot. For now, it’s going great.” her grandmother looked at her with happiness, the children were too busy laughing and joking around to listen to the adult's conversation. “That’s great, Xinyan. However, don’t let your guard down. College is hard.” her mother commented on the conversation.

“Ah, also after I have an announcement for everyone.


Everyone had their bellies filled up with traditional Li and Yue cuisine. Of course, there was a cake and other sweet treats just after. “Everyone, I have an announcement to make.” It’s finally time to come out, let’s hope it goes. “Uhm... the thing is I’m aromatic.”

“Oh, we know.”


“What?” Xinyan looked shocked, when did they know? No how did they know?

“Oh, the thing is a year ago we heard you and your friend talking about your sexuality and you said you were aromatic. We thought you weren’t ready so we pretended to not know.” her father laughed just after his sentence. “So, you... accept me?” Xinyan couldn’t help but have a glowing smile on her face, “Of course! Your, our daughter after all.” her mother picked up her cup of xinjiang black beer (a real fucking drink that’s from China). “Whatever, here let’s finish our dessert.” her aunt smiled at her, delighted to see that she finally came out to everyone.

She enjoyed a delightful birthday with her accepting family.


Xinyan: guys

Xinyan: I came out to my family as aromatic

Xinyan: they knew before I even told them

Chapter Text

Kaeya: thats what im saying


Venti: bitch 






Kaeya: BRO


















Fischl: did u even watch the fucking show


Yanfei: i like mo dao zu shi better tbh












Albedo: wtf








Yanfei: I yall we shouldn’t be fighting abt others opinions


Bennett: ^


Hu tao: I for u I will


Ayaka: @Thoma go tame ur man


Ayaka: put him on a leash or something


Thoma: ayaka its no sex week


Ayaka: I did not mean it like that...


Childe: LMFAOO


Lisa: I now present to you


Lisa: horny


Amber: PLS


Xinyan: guys


Xinyan: I came out to my family as aromantic


Xinyan: they knew before I even told them


Xingqiu: WHAT










Yanfei: so they know im a lesbian....












Albedo: idiots all of you


Kaeya: don’t lie alice knew abt u being pan before u even told her


Albedo: fuck off


Diluc: don’t lie I knew u were gay af before you even told me


Kaeya: fuck off


Xingqiu: committing unalive rn <3


Chongyun: take me with you


Fischl: They died together, wrapped around each other’s arms. The moonlight shined on their dead bodies of flesh. Maybe, they will be able to reincarnate together, may they once again fall in love.


Bennett: beautiful


Lisa: ^


Hu tao: so like ur family know


Yanfei: that we’re gay bitches ?


Xinyan: I yeah if u put it that way


Yanfei: alright, its time to die early


Hu tao: ^


Keqing: shit this reminds me that I need to come out too


Mona: bad for you ig


Dottore: imagine being gay


Ayato: stage one: denial


Baizhu: rest in piss


Venti: imagine being gay and homophobic


Venti: couldn’t be me


Xingqiu: sorry to break it to u bunny boo boo but I hc u as aromantic


Childe: I


Dottore: im straight


Chongyun: nah ur just on denial


Xiangling: did someone like


Xiangling: poison the school lunch or something


Xiangling: cause im pretty sure the food do be lookin real musty


Albedo: kaeya decided it was a good idea to do something with the food


Childe: it was all kaeya


Diluc: kaeya




Jean: of course, its you


Lisa: its always you


Kaeya: im





Chapter Text











Yoimiya kicked Sayu


Yoimiya: OK THERE U GO


Ayaka: yoimiya, I think its better to calm down a little.






Yoimiya: IMM


Xiao: so uh


Xiao: wtf do u want us to do abt it






Oz: sure


Yoimiya: ok uh


Ayaka: cosplaying?


Diluc: sayu and the other kids are close, you can get more intel from them


Yoimiya: then I entrust the intel getting from diona and klee! albedo and either diluc or kaeya :D


Albedo: ok


Kaeya: leave it to me




Kazuha: me too


Gorou: MHM MHM


Thoma: uh so we’re hosting a party?


Scaramouche: childe ur on expenses


Childe: I ok


Ayato: love how im the clan leader yet im not paying B)


Thoma: okay let's settle down and continue planning.



“Morning Sayu!” Klee shook the little girl awake; she didn't feel annoyed because it was highly likely that everyone else was already awake. “Big sister Keqing is waiting!” Klee ran out of her room, loud thumps from the stairs were later heard. “Today, our dish is grilled unagi, onigiri and dango milk.” Ganyu placed down all the plates for the five of them. “All Inazuman dishes.” Qiqi commented on all the dishes placed on the table. Ganyu was always good at cooking, almost like a (housewife) chef. “These are really good.” Diona ate the onigiri using her small hands, “Thank you.” Ganyu said as she took a bite of her unagi.

“Maybe today will be a good day.”


“Morning everyone!” Sayus teacher, Kano Nana, an Inazuman walked into the classroom. “Are we ready to learn?”


“What do we do if the second fractions denominator is different from the first fractions denominator?” Ah, fractions Sayus least favorite math related equation, well she didn’t really like math in general. Then a phone call suddenly ran for Ms Kano. The teacher picked it up, “Hello. Oh, I see I’ll send her off right away.” Ms Kano hung up the phone, “Sayu! You can leave now, please go down to the pickup area.”


Oh yay, she got to leave class early #gaselight #gatekeep #girlboos


To whatever was awaiting I wish both sides of your pillows are cold, you get a partner, or your partner and you have a happy time together. Sayu thought to herself as she slowly walked to the location.


“Hello, Sayu. Follow Qiqi.” Qiqi let her hand out for the girl in front of her, “Qiqi, we’re kids.” Sayu showed pure confusion and worry towards the younger girl. However, the girl did not back down, she showed no sign of giving up. Sayu looked around the girl to see if anyone they knew was nearby. “Qiqi, is there anyone we know around here?” Sayu asked the small girl, which she responded by pointing to a fancy looking car down the road, “In there.”


In the end the two girls got into the fancy car, in the car was a slender boy with indigo hair, his hair covered his ears and he had bold red eyeliner. “Oh, you’re here.” he turned around to the sound of the door opening, “Oh, hi Scaramouche.” Scaramouche was on the driving seat, while the two girls were in the back. “Remember to put on your seatbelt.”


“We’re here.” Scaramouche opened the car door, Qiqi had stepped outside of the car. However, Sayu fell asleep on the way there, “Sayu, we’re here.” Scaramouche shook Sayu awake, “Ngh...” Sayu rubbed her eyes, “Oh okay...” she climbed out of the car. Scaramouche let his hands out, one for each girl. They both grabbed the hand available for them. Qiqi opened the door for the 3 of them.


“Happy birthday Sayu!”


Oh, it’s my birthday today.


Sayu thought to herself, it wasn’t like her forgetting her birthday, but school was so jam packed, so she forgot. It was more likely for Qiqi to forget her own birthday, not her.


“Ah! My baby sister is becoming 12!!” Yoimiya ran to the small girl and hugged her tightly, “Yoimiya...” Sayu called out to her older sister.


“Now now, let’s not waste our time, let’s get eating!” Xiangling and Kazuha came out of the kitchen to place down their food. The table was filled with Inazuman specialties, there was a lot of food, well it should be like that considering the amount of people that were there.


Sayu didn’t really like big crowds, nor did she particularly like celebrating her birthday. But maybe today she can make an exception.

Chapter Text

Kaeya: HELP


Kaeya: itto.png








Sara: oh


Sara: fuck


Paimon: isnt he that one senior whos always picking fights with sara


Oz: yeah he is










Kazuha: OH


Yae Miko: oh.


Albedo: he has a geo vision


Xiangling: IM DONE.


Ayato: watch


Ayato: and learn



Ayato added Itto to the chat





Thoma: omfg


Itto: im hi?


Dottore: welcome


La Signora: that’s weird of you to say


Albedo: so like


Baizhu: can we experiment on you


Itto: what


Dottore: its not a joke


Itto: I........






Albedo: good, we’ll talk more about it later




Ayato: itto, MY MAN


Ayato: welcome to hell




Aether: tf is a kink


Lumine: ^


Scaramouche: kinkmeaning.png




Lumine: IKRRR


Paimon: oh I wanna know too


Oz: same


Xingqiu: im crying


Ayato: step aside guys


Ayato: ehem


Ayato: when u have a kink


Ayato: u have a sexual preference for it


Lumine: huh


Paimon: ^


Oz: ^


Aether: ^


Paimon: im fucking clueless


Zhongli: meaning


Zhongli: I give up @Venti @Ei you do it


Venti: I


Ei: why would u do this zhongli




Childe: uh well


Childe: you know when


Childe: you have a fetish




Lumine: ^^^^^^^


Oz: oh I see


Paimon: IM TF


Oz: its not to hard to understand from ur explanation


Childe: thanks




Lumine: SAME


Aether: SAME


Xiao: are you kidding me


Xinyan: this is so painful to watch


Diluc: what is this


Ayato: ok ok


Ayato: U WANT IT














Lumine: OH I GET IT






Ayato: this is gonna be ayatos nsfw lessons istfg




Aether: ik abt sex


Lumine: ik abt the dick


Aether same


Ayato: I JUST THAT???






Lumine: arent they the same?


Aether: ^


Scaramouche: HUH


Bennett: oh my god....


Mona: youre a disgrace to the arts


Aether: IM


Kaeya: whats happening I just came back


Lumine: clown shit


Hu tao: this is so entertaining


Keqing: why do I even try


Ayato: do you want


Ayato: me to explain?




Ayato: omg....


Ayato: OK SO








Lumine: anwyay isn't whore like wearing stuff but in past tense


Gorou: NO


Jean: I don’t want to be here at the moment...


Rosaria: a disgrace


Lumine: ??


Ayato: its WORE not whore


Ayato: whore is like


Ayaka: whore = slut


Lumine: I




Ayato: do u guys have any other questions abt this topic?


Lumine: uh


Aether: why do males bleed when they do gay sex


Aether: the bottoms btw


Ayato: WTF


Kokomi: …..


Thoma: well


Diluc: because there too much friction or its too rough


Amber: DILUC????


Aether: oh


Diluc: if ur gonna do gay sex at least get some lube or something


Aether: WHO SAID




Yanfei: im crying


Aether: IM NOT I JUST\




Yae Miko: hm.


Yoimiya: im crying


Albedo: …


Aether: I




Baizhu: now that just makes us curious


Barbara: holy water


Beidou: agreed




Kaeya: but why does diluc know


Diluc: its common knowledge


Lisa: ^


Ningguang: sigh


La Signora: sometimes u give me entertainment, now is not one of them.


Ayato: sigh


Ayato: ok do u guys have anything else cause if I have to see a convo like this again I will go mad


Aether: NOPE


Lumine: do girls bleed even when u arent on ur period


Yae Miko: yes


Yae Miko: yes we do


Lumine: IS IT NORMAL????


Scaramouche: a reminder that there are boys in the chat


Xiao: ^


Yae Miko: its nothing to worry about


Lumine: OK


Xinyan: quick question whyd u ask all of a sudden


Aether: uh


Lumine: @Dainsleif blame him


Dainsleif: what


Ayato: WHAT DID U SAY TO THEM.......


Dainsleif: huh


Diluc: back read you mother fucker


Dainsleif: oh


Dainsleif: OH


Dainsleif: abt that


Noelle: …


Keqing: I respected you.

Chapter Text

“You are the blood of the Lawrence clan. You should be trying to get us back into our age of glory!”  


But I have never been able to feel that age of glory you are talking about uncle.  


The rays of the sun shone on the tall slender women, Eula Lawrence. Being abandoned by her family, well, more like she ran away herself, she no longer is in close contact with her family. Not like she wants too though.   


“Happy birthday Eula.” Ayaka was making traditional Inazuman breakfast, “Greeting Ayaka, are we eating Inazuman food for breakfast?” Eula sat down on her chair looking at the young Inazuman girl. “Yes, I am, ah, can you wake up Sucrose for me?” Ayaka asked as she shaped the rice to look like a cat (if you want a reference, the dish is called invigorating kitty meal in the genshin impact wiki). “Alright then.” Eula walked back up the stairs leading to Sucrose's room. “Sucrose? It’s time to wake up,” the green haired girl flipped her blanket over as she stretched herself. “Good morning, Eula...” Sucrose walked over to the bathroom whispering to the lady.   


“Hehe... Ayaka’s Inazuman food always taste so good!” Xinyan shouted in excitement as she took a bite of her rice. “There's no need for praise. It is only natural I know how to cook my own region’s food.   



Dainsleif: wanna take the day off?  


Eula: no thanks  



“We should stay clear from her, she’s a Lawrence.” Who knows how many times she’s heard something like that, she used to it, so she could barely give two shits. “Good morning, Eula!” a familiar voice shouted from behind, “Is there anything of need?” Eula turned around to see the rabbit. “Nope! Just wanna walk around with you.” Eula liked having the rabbit around, she didn’t mind one bit, whether the rabbit was their cause of pity or another reason, it didn’t matter. It was always nice to have her around. If she, could she wish it would last forever.   


“Alright, let’s get started with our lesson. Today we will be talking about the history of the Lawrence clan.”   


Oh, what a subject.  


As a Lawrence herself, she could feel the deathly stars of the people around her, they were everywhere and when I say everywhere I mean everywhere. It was kind of uncomfortable, the sounds of the teacher talking about her family history, the feeling of eyes on her skin and flesh. It was so much, no too much.   


“That is all for today, please finish your essay about the Lawrence clan.”   


“Eula, are you okay? Throughout class you seemed stressed...” The rabbit looked at the blue haired girl as she frowned in worry. “No, it’s okay. Do you want to do the work together?”   


And that how Eula and the rabbit ended up in the rabbit's dorm, just looking at the dorm was, concerning. I mean there's a crazy chef and a so-called princess in there, and an emo bandit? “Oh! Hey Rosaria, do you mind if Eula comes in?” The rabbit asked the other. “Why would it bother me?”   


“Weird, isn’t it? Writing about your family history.” the rabbit looked at the girl, “It’s okay, it isn’t that weird. It’s just a school assignment. Is it not?” Eula looked at the rabbit in slight confusion. The rabbit was always kind and respecting, always staying in her line and crossing it if she needed to. “Oh okay, that’s good.” the rabbit smiled at her. The rabbit, she was always so beautiful, so bright and cheerful, like a flower on full bloom. She was always perfect, not only in her cute looks but also in her personality. If only Eula could say how she felt to the rabbit, maybe things would be better.   


“Also, happy birthday. Actually, me and everyone planned something for you.” The rabbit clapped both hands together like praying except the hands are near her chest, and of course no prayers to Barbatos. “Oh, really? Then let’s go. They must be waiting, aren’t they?” Eula lifted herself up bring her hand out for the rabbit. “Oh! I uh, okay let’s go then.” the rabbit grabbed Eula by the hand, and they were on the move.  


“Took you long enough.” Diluc Ragnvindr, head of the Ragnvindr, and one of the biggest people of the Mondstadt wine industry. “Ah, hello Eula, happy birthday.” Jean Gunnhildr, the successor of the Gunnhildr clan. “I appreciate your cooperation in the making of this celebration.” Eula bowed down to the two. “Ah. No need for formalities.”  


It had been some time since the birthday party finished, it was just the rabbit and Eula. Eula treasured moments like this, because she loved the rabbit. She had feelings for the rabbit, but the rabbit, she didn’t realize those feelings and she did not like her back. “Eula, I’ve been thinking.”   


“Everyone around us, well mostly they’re all you know gay and all.”  


So am I.  


“And the thing is, I’m not gay and sometimes it kind of feels weird?”  


“Ah! I know you are in that community sorry for being rude.” the rabbit shook her head. “There’s no need, just keep telling me what you think Amber.” Eula looked at the small girls' face, obviously flushed and feeling a small bit of worry. “Well, uh everyone around me is in that community I guess I kind of feel... left out? I mean of course I just can’t become gay but still. I don’t mind intimacy in front of me it just makes me feel a little weird.” Amber looked as if she was on the edge of crying, crystal clear tears almost leaking out of her eyes. “I get it, that’s just how you feel. Is it not? It’s okay.”   


Eula had presents on her hands, but Ambers was the one she would cherish. She did feel sad after that awkward conversation but in the end, she’s happy Amber let her opinion out. Still, it did hurt a little but that's okay. She knows she wants more in their relationship but, she can't she straight it's one sided. 


Maybe, one day. She can be clear with it. She can let it go. But not now. Not anytime soon. 

Chapter Text

Lumine: man  


Lumine: sure wish I wasn’t single   


Aether: same  


Lumine: wanna date /j  


Aether: sure /j  


Thoma: don’t u guys have the same mother?  


Aether: we’re joking  


Lumine: what u think we gonna do incest   


Thoma: I fair   


Beidou: not zhongli and childe flirting in the library  


Mona: im  


Mona: man  


Mona: wheres my girlfriend   


Oz: your gay?  


Mona: what u thought I was straight   


Paimon: yes?  


Mona: I  


Mona: do I look one bit straight   


Barbara: uh no  


Mona: exactly   


Mona: im fruity as fuck  


Ei: you guys didn’t know?  




Aether: it’s the lesbian intuition I swear   


Albedo: who tf   




Yanfei: dear albedo. Please explain what this whopperflower creation is  


Albedo: a fucking  


Albedo: my fucking whopperflower creation  


Albedo: I made a baby whopperflower AND SOMEONE STOLE IT.  


Sucrose: whats wrong   


Sucrose: oh  


Ayaka: now why would you make a baby whopperflower  


Itto: guys so I found a baby whopperflower   


Itto: its kinda cute   


Albedo: ...  


Albedo: someone chain itto onto the wall or something   


Itto: HUH   






Keqing: your baby?  


Kaeya: his baby  


Albedo: SQUARE UP   


Itto: ur small as fuck u cant hurt me  


Lisa: holy shit  


Lisa: albedokillingafuckingdaddy.png  


Lisa: be afraid @Itto                


Sara: that was  


Sara: expected.  


Hu tao: I u sure he aint dead  


Xingqiu: I mean if he is you have buisness?  


Hu tao: fair  


Amber: he looks  


Amber: kinda dead  


Childe: not baizhu examining itto  


Sucrose: why is there a frog in the bathroom.   


Mona: WHAT  


Scaramouche: GROSS TF  


Kazuha: I......  


Kazuha: no <3  


Yanfei: IMMM  


Thoma: @Sucrose pics or it didn’t happen  


Sucrose: justafrogsittingonthetoiletseat.png  


Barbara: someone should murder it.  


Xingqiu: goodbye it kinda looks like chongyun   


Chongyun: in what way does that look like me  


Xiangling: xingqiu has a point....  




Xingqiu: can you be that frog? Cause id gladly let you jump on me <3  


Lumine: ew   


Aether: a gay  


Lumine: ikr  


Lumine: this is why im homophobic   


Aether: this is why im homophobic   


Venti: someone call the police   


Venti: im scared  


Kaeya: same  


Ningguang: arent u guys like  


Ningguang: both gay  


Lumine: im as straight as a circle got no idea what ur talkin abt  


Aether: im as straight as the moon idk what ur talkin abt  


Gorou: I  


Kokomi: okay  


Kokomi: imagine falling in love  


Xinyan: same  


Dainsleif: ikr  


Kokomi: people are overrated   


Dainsleif: I agree  


Sara: I agree with both statements   


Sucrose: genuinely wondering what are ur sexualities   


Sucrose: like specifically   


Fischl: pansexual   


Sara: aromantic   


Noelle: im straight   


Barbara: questioning   


Scaramouche: gay  


Kazuha: gay  


Gorou: questioning?  


Baizhu: same ive been questioning for like forever   


Yoimiya: lesbian :D  


Ayaka: pansexual   


Ayato: a homo  


Thoma: same  


Ayato: heart  


Thoma: heart   


Childe: idk man im questioning but im not straight   


Xingqiu: im bi  


Chongyun: ^  


Beidou: im a proud sexy lesbian  


Eula: ^ except the proud and sexy part  


Lisa: ^ with the proud and sexy part  


Amber: im straight   


Venti: im pan  


Xiao: same  


Dottore: im straight   


Bennett: im bi so is razor   


Xinayn: armoatic  


Lumine: im a pansexual /srs  


Rosaria: straight   


Aether: im gay /srs  


Hu tao: I am a lesbian  


Yanfei: same lets become girlfriends hu tao  


Hu tao: sure  


Xiangling: IM A PAN B)  


Zhongli: pansexual   


Ei: ^  


Diluc: armoatic   


Ganyu: lesbian :D  


Keqing: ^  


Albedo: uh pansexual   


Yae Miko: bi  


Itto: straight   


Mona: lesbian like I said a few days ago  


Dainsleif : aromantic   


La Signora: straight   


Kokomi: aromantic !  


Jean: pansexual  


Kaeya: I we naming our sexualties now  


Sucrose: yes so I can see how many of us is in lgbtq   


Kaeya: k im gay  


Sucrose: from my calculations.   


Two minutes later 


Diluc: …  


Diluc: you’ve been typing for two minutes  


Keqing: should I be scared   


Sucrose: so, from my calculations, there are 9 pansexual people; fischl ayaka venti xiao zhongli lumine xiangling and albedo. 9 lesbians; yoimiya beidou eula lisa hu tao yanfei ganyu keqing and mona. 6 gay people; scaramouche kazuha ayato thoma and kaeya. 5 armoatics; kokomi dainsleif diluc xinyan and kujou sara. There are 5 straight people: noelle amber dottore rosaria la signora and itto. 5 people who are quesitoning barabra gorou baizhu childe and myself. Finally, there are 5 bisexual people: yae miko bennett razor xingqiu chongyun. There are 44 (?) people.   


Lisa: the number of commas you need in that wall of text  


Sucrose: I was rushing a little   


Hu tao: I cant pass the word pansexual   


Yanfei: same  

Chapter Text

“Kazuha?” a familiar voice is heard, “Sleeping on a tree once again aren't you.”  


“I’ll miss you.”  


A nightmare. Someone has been haunting them since death. In his dreams he meets him repeatedly. However, will be free? Like the city his vision resides.   


“Oh my god can’t we just eat take out...” Gorou looked over at the head of the Kamisato clan. “Nope! You're going to suffer just like my darling.” Ayato hums as he makes octopus and peanut butter? “Jesus Christ don’t call Thoma your darling ever again.” Scaramouche groans as he puts on his rude manor. “Ayato...I... maybe I should cook today...” Kazuha takes on look at the horrendous dish and he regrets it.”Yeah no shit.” The fand- purple human being frowns at the terrifying person. “Now now, eat up you little babies! Or perhaps... you can’t take it?” Ayato whispered into Scaramouches ear. “Oh yes I can. Of course, I can. I'm fucking amazing.” Scaramouche grabbed the octopus and peanut butter and stuffed into his mouth. “Swallow it~ Like tentacle sex.”   


All three of the younger boys turned red, “Now why would you say that?” Gorou banged on the table in clear frustration. “Feel the wrath of the horny.”   



“Holy shit the fucking squid shit is acting up.” Scaramouche grabbed his stomach or something I don’t know man. “Are you sick? Do you want some later? Do you feel stomach pain?” The anemo boy asked the boy beside him while being kind of... touchy? Gorou just looked at them and whispered to himself “Looks like I'm third wheeling tonight.”   




“Did you just say sigh?”   


“Happy birthday.” Lumine handed a medium sized box wrapped in green silk with a white bow. “Open it if you want to, I guess.”  


Kazuha and Scaramouche looked into confusion, Kazuha opened it and to he was shocked. There was fucking “toys” in there. He immediately closed it and Gorou burst out laughing and so did Lumine. “Holy shit I didn’t think you’d open it here.” Lumine was on the verge of dying of laughter. Kazuha and Scaramouche just turned red. “What’s happening?” Sucrose approached the scene with curiosity, Sucrose eyed the box up and down, she turned a bright red. “O-oh. I know this brand...”   


“YOU KNOW WHAT.” Scaramouche eyed the girl up and down, how could such a sweet and innocent girl know about this brand??? “Kaeya and Albedo sometimes sends me there... I didn’t think you guys would also buy from there.” Sucroses voice started to go lower and lower to the point only Scaramouche and Kazuha could barely hear her (lmfao same sucrose). “What going on here?” the teacher walked into the room, “Why are you all gathered around here? Get to your seats.” The teacher looked at the present fortunately it was closed. Still, they couldn’t possibly recognize this brand right...   



The lesson normally proceeded with Kazuha pretty much forgetting the contents of the present. “What was going inside your head when you picked sex toys as a present.” Rosaria whispered to Lumine, “Hey it was Gorous idea. All I did was buy it with Aether.” Lumine stretched her arms out on the the table. “You went to fucking sex shop with Aether?”  


It was nearing the end of the day. A birthday party with the Inazumans was being held at the dorm. Of course, some of the other people from the other regions could come if they wanted to however those damn Inazumans will be coming from brute force.   


It was nearing the start of the event. Event? Celebration? Or just a gathering. Who knows honestly either way Kazuha could feel a certain staring at him. It felt heavy and weird. He doesn’t mind, because he’s used to it, because he feels it every day. It’s just, today the staring is especially heavy. Heavier than normal.  


“Hello Kazuha.” Ei, or the reincarnation of the Raiden Shogun. “Hello.” Kazuha waved at the taller women, she waved back and walked away. Most people were Inazuman since there wasn’t that much space, they could only do some people. There were people he didn’t know for some reason. Honestly it didn’t matter, did it?   


They should’ve only invited people Kazuha knew.  


There was loud music all around the dorm, Ayato had planned the party for him. It wasn’t very crowded just the right amount. “I have an announcement to make.” Scaramouche had a microphone in his hand, Ayato was recording the scene and so was Ei. “Uh... well. Kazuha, I have something to tell you.”   


Switch pov.......  


Switched to Scaramouche pov  


Okay deep breathes you fucking buffoon. You're confessing your love to the boy you love. Ugh what was that bitch boy Ayato thinking with having me confess with people around... Fuck this embarrassing. At least don’t invite my sister and my sister-in-law I pray to the archons. Wait I have archon blood so does that mean I'm an archon? Wait technically that’s Ei fuck this is confusing. Okay just say it you fucking.   


Scaramouche snapped out of him zoning out when he saw the girl in class that liked Kazuha. She was staring at Kazuha- no not Kazuha his fucking man.   


Oh, this bitch, she's planning to confess to him after, isn't she? She’s overdressed has her hair done and a cute outfit. You fucking. Not if I confess first.  


“Kazuha. I like you.”   


Switching pov......  


Switched to -!009834q2+  


When Kazuha heard those 4 words, he was in shock, “Kazuha... not like friends but like love you know. Oh my god you bitch you probably already know.” Scaramouche ended his announcement. The room was silent. So silent after that confession, until Scaramouche noticed something at the corner of his eye. It was the girl who liked Kazuha plunging him with a butter knife. She was crying and angry and whatever, fortunately Scaramouche was quick to react and uh broke some bones of hers. It was self-defense so it wouldn’t mean anything. “Ah ah, Yurika. That’s not what you're supposed to do when someone else confesses their love to the person you like.” Ayato, no this wasn’t just Ayato anymore, this was Kamisato Ayato, head of the Yashiro commission and Kamisato clan leader.   


“Yanfei, could you please.” Kamisato Ayato held the girl by the arms holding both of her wrists tightly, his face very much serious and pissed off. “Ms Yurika, you are under arrest of the 38 th  law of Teyvat. On page 167 of the Teyvat law monologue it clearly states that stalking is a crime. Not only did you stalk Mr Kaedehera Kazuha, but you did attempted murder on Mr Raiden Kunikuzushi. We will discuss more on your arrest in prison.” The Teyvat police took the girl using brute force, Scaramouche just watched the scene go down, he was still in shock that someone would try to murder him.   


Later Kazuha grabbed the boy dragging him onto the second floor and to his room away from everyone else. “You could’ve died...” Kazuha burst into tears he pinned Scaramouche to the bed his tear drops falling onto Scaramouches cheeks. “Don’t cry and answer my fucking confession.” Scaramouche put his cold hand onto Kazuhas face rubbing the tears off his face using his thumb. “Yeah, I accept, I love you.” Kazuha dropped himself onto the boy chest to chest. I mean look like a typical pose before they’re doing se- I mean. This is pg-13.   


“Wait Scaramouche we’re just gonna forget that Ayato probably planned that?”   


“Kazuha we are in the middle of cuddling shut the fuck up.”   

Chapter Text

Albedo: holy shit


Albedo: @Scaramouche ayo u okay heard u nearly got murdered


Scaramouche: im fine


Scaramouche: say thank u to ayato or something idk man


Diluc: you what


Ayato: hey I literally set them up no need to thank me :skull:


Kazuha: oh so I was right




Yanfei: ok at least we caught that girl


Ayaka: yes at least we did


Scaramouche: at least??


Xingqiu: not yall risking someones life to arrest someone


Scaramouche: I mean


Scaramouche: I couldve protected myself in that situation


Scaramouche: but its still wrong so ayato youre no longer aloud to feed us weird shit


Ayato: HUH


Ayato: WHAT NO




Gorou: yes take one for the team scaramouche


Kazuha: ^




Scaramouche: we no longer talk abt that


Ayato: OI


Ayato: omfg


Scaramouche: stop feeding us weird shit


Xiangling: I okay wondering


Xiangling: what kind of weird shit....


Ayato: what u wanna eat it


Xiangling: no I wanna make it


Chongyun: oh.


Xingqiu: IMMM


Xinyan: rest in piss ig....




Yanfei: I volunteer that Chongyun eats that.


Xinyan: ^


Hu tao: ^


Xiangling: yes yes ik


Ayato: I can give you some recipes if u give me some of ur recipes


Thoma: oh my god


Gorou: OH MY GOD


Kazuha: stay away from me.


Venti: imagine needing to eat weird shit


Kaeya: couldn’t be me


Diluc: diona poisons you when


Diluc: might as well do it myself


Rosaria: highkey would pay money to see that


Ningguang: ^


Yae Miko: ^


Ayaka: who wouldn’t pay money to see that


Kaeya: this kaeyaphobic


Thoma: when is it not


Paimon: ikr bye


Ayato: okay gave u some recipies in the dms @Xiangling


Xiangling: perfect


Yanfei: rest in piss to all the soldiers


Yanfei: that died in service


Yanfei: I died in her cervix @Hu tao


Gorou: IMMM


Dottore: lesbians istg




Hu tao: NOT THAT


Xinyan: platonic no longer


Childe: I


Childe: gay mfs


Dottore: ikr


Amber: pls




Kazuha: a what


Jean: pics??


Scaramouche: suckthatdicktilllickcum.png


Zhongli: oh dear


Dainsleif: oh.


Dainsleif: its paimons


Paimon: wtf it isnt mine??


Aether: then whos is it


Dainsleif: its ur old barbatos doll?


Paimon: I


Paimon: wait holy shit it is


Scaramouche: so that thing is a fucking barbatos doll?


Scaramouche: @Venti man ur genes look disgusting


Venti: BITCH


Venti: kys


Scaramouche: no u


Jean: still isnt a little disrespectful to a archon


Scaramouche: I


Scaramouche: im an atheist


Jean: o


Ningguang: acceptable


Fischl: Hello! It is I, The Prinzessin der Veruteiling has granted you mortal fellow my presence. However, it is not you that needs help, but it is I. Please lend me the help on how to explain about gummy condoms.




Oz: what fischl means is that “i need help with teaching razor abt gummy condoms”


Kaeya: I


Bennett: be a good senior for us


Bennett: im also suffering here


Diluc: just say its condoms you can eat


Bennett: NO????


Venti: “this is gummies that are shaped like condoms.”


Bennett: thanks


Lisa: little cuties


Lisa: all three of them in their own little world


Lisa: young love


Ayato: you make us seniors sounds old


Ayato: but yes


Ayato: young love


Xiao: you guys arent that old


Zhongli: child


Zhongli: you know nothing abt being old


Dainsleif: ^


Beidou: ^


Jean: ^


Ningguang: ^


Jean: ^


Yae Miko: in conclusion


Yae Miko: act young when you can.


Venti: great advice

Chapter Text

“What’s important is what you want.”


Xiangling remembers those words, so familiar yet so different. She knows it’s the voice of no one she remembers but it lives in her mind like a fifth roommate. She doesn’t know what that voice is but it’s been with her since she was 4.


Xiangling was the first to wake up out of the 4 girls. The first thing she did after her morning routine was to go to the kitchen and prepare food for everyone and herself. She was a great chef, she really was. She just didn’t know why or how.



“Xiangling... I think that’s a little too much jueyun chili...” Xianglings old teacher told the little girl at the age of 8. “Why?” She looked at the young women in curiosity. “The rest of the class probably wouldn’t be able to eat any of this. You should reconsider your dish.” It was already abnormal that the small girl could cook so well at that age. However, it always was an overload of spice, it was as if the people who ate her dishes were eating a combination of electro and pyro.


“Bleh! Your food is just disgusting, Xiangling. I never want to eat this again.” This was when she was 10. A few boys in her class offered to eat her food, until a boy with dark blue hair approached holding hands with another. He took some chopsticks and tried her food, he was shocked. He coughed a few times before giving his thoughts, “Ahem, Xiangling, your food isn’t disgusting at all. Actually, I kind of like this. Still, I think it would be better if you added less chili. Next time I’ll be looking forward to your improvements.” The young boy smiled at her, as he slowly tried to walk away before Xiangling grabbed his arm. “Wait. What’s your name?” the boy looked behind him in shock.


“Xingqiu, second son of the Feiyun commerce guild. Member of the Guhua Clan. Pleasure to meet you, Chef Xiangling.”


That was how she meet Xinyan, Chongyun and Xingqiu. Then later on Yanfei and Hu tao. Then later everyone else. She would've been drowning in a pile of trying to improve but no advice left. With only the unknown person left to comfort her.



But that doesn’t matter anymore, does it?



By the time she finished reminiscing about the past she had already finished cooking all her dishes. Everyone was already on the table waiting for the food to be placed onto the table.


“Foods ready!”



“Life would be so much easier if Xiangling was in my dorm.” Hu tao slammed her head onto the lunch table. “I know right. She could make me good food and shit but I have to eat those slow boiled soup Ningguang really likes... god they’re so bland.” Yanfei also bangs her head like Hu tao. “I mean who wouldn’t wanna eat Xianglings food EVERY NOW AND THEN AND I HIGLIGHT EVERY NOW AND THEN.” Chongyun slams the table making both girl life their heads up. “Calm down honey~” Xingqiu hugged the boy from behind, “Oh Xingqiu.” the boy tried to hug back and obviously failed because he couldn’t turn around. “Yo.” Xinyan approached the group, waving hear hand with her hand in her pocket, and obviously with her guitar wrapped around her shoulder. “What’s going on?”


“Oh yeah I didn’t check out Ayato’s recipes yet.”


“Oh god please no.”



“Wait so Xiangling, we’re gonna celebrate your birthday with Uncle Mao (In China you would say uncle instead of mr same for ms and auntie)?” Chongyun asked the little chef. They were walking to, everyone's least favorite subject, history, “I mean, we get to skip like half the day or something so yeah.” Xiangling ate her Inazuman dango, chewy, sweet and delicious. Great for eating on the road. “I mean I guess that true... god I feel bad for Hu tao and Yanfei, they have to come after us.” Xingqiu closed his book as he began to hold Chongyuns hand. “I know right, bye.” Xinyan opened the door to the classroom, “Well this is our stop. Good luck with math, Xiangling.”



Alone. That was Xiangling right now. In the hallway. She hated being alone, but she could manage right?



“Alright, let’s start class.”

“Today we will be learning about the God of Stove, Marchosius, he resided in the Guili Assembly, with the God of Contract, the Lord of Geo and one of the seven. Morax, and not just Morax, but also with the God of Dust, Guizhong. However, during the destruction of the nation because of the Archon War. After them, the adepti and Morax brought everyone to Mt. Tianheng and built Liyue Harbor. Centuries later, the God of Stove would sacrifice their power to save Liyue from calamities and plagues. Leaving, Morax with their recipes and the secrets of flame. They then were left to retire on a mountain. It’s uncertain what Marchosius became on the mountain but once they came in, they never left. Or that’s what people say. There many different versions of this legend for some reason, however, it is certain that the God of Stove did exist and is now in Celestia with the Gods above.”

For some reason, Xiangling felt a certain *warmth* after hearing about the God of Stone. Something about them seemed so *familiar*. Like she had already met them before. She knows that she was named after her great-great grandmother Xiangling the chef who was still alive at the time of ancient Liyue. She felt connected to her, not only by name but by heart. Something about her, she could feel her, they were almost the same, they had the same name, blood, occupation, and they even looked like each other. Maybe one day, she’ll know why her great-great grandmother and her are so similar just not now, when she dies that is.


“Zhongli!” Xiangling ran to the tall slender men, “Oh, Xiangling do you need anything?”


“I uh, you said you were Rex Lapis’ vessel, right?”



“So, because Rex Lapis has great memory you think I share memories with him?” Zhongli looked at the girl, “Well yes all the vessels have something in relation to the archons, like for example Venti can listen to the wind, Ei can go to a certain place. So yes, I am familiar with them. However, because of a certain contract I cannot let you in on full detail. Is that okay?”


“Of course, that is.”



So that’s what this is. After giving his power and retiring in the mountains, they were reduced in size and intelligence. That sounds reasonable.

Xiangling was running back home, she was late to her own party. Sounds like a very Xiangling thing to do. “Sorry, I’m late!” Xiangling slammed the door wide open, “And here comes the lady of the hour.” Yanfei alpha posed at the girl.


“No more wasting time, the foods gonna go cold!”


Xiangling then ate with her friends and family, all in one table just enjoying their meal. She almost forgot about the God of Stove, well, I guess when you have a great family and amazing friends... that’s what happens. Am I right?

Chapter Text

hi gay people

its me fran B)

so yk how like i gave yall angst

so from here on out, there will be a plot

no idea if you want it or not but if you do keep reading

if you dont then hahah thats oaky <3

Chapter Text

Ayato: annihilate  


Xingqiu: blowjob   


Ayato: cum  


Xiao: wtf  


Yoimiya: yk what whatever   


Xingqiu: dick  


Lisa: elaborate   


Ayato: fuck  


Ningguang: graceful   


Xingqiu: hips   


Ayato: impact  


Xingqiu: jock?  


La Signora: what are u doing  


Ayato: letters in the alphabet   


La Signora: that doesn’t explain anything   


Xingqiu: kamera   


Ayato: lesbian  


Lisa: mommy   


Xingqiu: negotiate   


Lisa: obliterate   


Ayato: penis   


Yoimiya: im so scared  


Chongyun: who started this  


Ayato: queer  


Lisa: rick roll   


Xingqiu: suck that dick till lick cum   


Lisa: try hard   


Ayato: uterus  


Xingqiu: vodka   


Lisa: whipped  


Ayato: xingqiu  


Xingqiu: yas queen   


Lisa: and   


Ayato: zodiac  


Xingqiu: now   


Lisa: I  


Ayato: know  


Xingqiu: my  


Lisa: abc  


Ayato: next   


Xingqiu: time  


Lisa: wont  


Ayato: you  


Xingqiu: sing  


Lisa: with  


Ayato: me  


Xiangling: oh it’s the abcs   


Kazuha: iii  


Scaramouche: …  


Lisa: horny letters ig  


Sara: jail.  


Dainsleif: so whos going to the archon battle again  


Venti: oh.  


Albedo: right the archon battle   


Eula: basically hell.   


Eula: but in a different form  


Noelle: …how so?  


Hu tao: you know how in some schools those with visions train them?  


Hu tao: it's for this. To recreate the archon war.  


Hu tao: to recreate hell at its finest.   


Diluc: you juniors wouldn’t know  


Lumine: you guys get a taste of hell   


Aether: honestly one of the most feared events in teyvat   


Barbara: it isn't that bad right...  


Amber: healers don’t participate so barbara is fine, but I worry about the rest  


Kokomi: sigh   


Ayato: luckily, I don’t have a vision, so my life is easier   


Kaeya: way to force students to fight   


Xingqiu: fight?  


Keqing: to put it simply   


Keqing: war  


Mona: I thought you guys would know by now but it’s not only our school but in a lot of school in teyvat that accept visions  


Fischl: cant we like not do it??  


Sucrose: nope  


Sucrose: its cause it’s a key part in history   


Sucrose: if it was minor then this event wouldn’t happen   


Baizhu: it’s just one of the laws.   


Paimon: aren’t you guys gonna like  


Oz: you know prepare   


Ganyu: in the archon war no one was prepared so we aren't allowed to...  


Paimon: okay but like that’s really messed up   


Ayato: people who don’t wield visions like us should be thankful   


Dottore: I guess  



student council 


Dainsleif: meeting tomorrow at lunch  



fruity pruity  


Yanfei: honestly, it’s messed up but it’s a law so  


Amber: can't really do anything abt it if it’s a law can we   


Paimon: still why is it a law?  


Venti: you aren’t supposed to question the voice of Celestia  


Zhongli: you aren’t supposed to question the voice of Celestia   


Ei: you aren’t supposed to question the voice of Celestia   

Chapter Text

Paimon: oh. 


Aether: well.... 


Lumine: oh my 


Ayato: anyway 


Ayato: I found a doll? 


Ayato: seven to be exact  


Albedo: can you send us some pics 


Ayato: sure 


Ayato: abyssmage.png  


Lisa: that seems like a little something, right? @Albedo @Kaeya @Sucrose             


Mona: oh 


Sucrose: … 



“Get your people under control, Venti.” 


Amber: are they  


Amber: what I think they are? 


Thoma: I think i’ve seen that thing in history books  


Thoma: it’s called an abyss mage we don’t really know where they came from   


Fischl: but why abyss mages? 


Albedo: ayato give all of them to me 


Albedo: now 


Ayato: I okay? 


Ayato: uhm like rn? 


Albedo: immediately  


Ayato: k 


Barbara: ig that problem is solved  


Xingqiu: ig  


Ayaka: still, why would someone just put a doll out of no where  


Zhongli: they probably left it there on accident  


Ei: ^ 


Venti: ^ 


Gorou: lowkey looks kinda cute  


Rosaria: shouldn’t u guys like figure out who owns that thing to give it back 


Rosaria: we do have security cameras yk 


Dainsleif: then ill check them and once albedo is done researching then we’ll give them back 


Yoimiya: researching? 


Dainsleif: just don’t think abt it much 


Thoma: since its dainsleif then we should just ignore it ig 


Ayaka: ^ 


Noelle: shouldn’t we investigate it more?  


Bennett: its just a few dolls I don’t think there's a need to investigate it.  


“A flash of light beams and then it disappears leaving the 7 dolls there. Abyss mages from khaenri’ah. 7 elements representing the seven. It doesn’t seem like a good idea to ignore this. We should keep a close call.”  



Chapter Text

“A flash of light beams and then it disappears leaving the 7 dolls there. Abyss mages from khaenri’ah. 7 elements representing the seven. It doesn’t seem like a good idea to ignore this. We should keep a close call.”


Sucrose looked at the screen, the security cameras of how the seven dolls were left there. “Well, what do we do with this information?” Kaeya sat on the student council table. “Don’t you dare make the table dirty.” Dainsleif took a glance at the tan skinned man. “It doesn’t seem like a good idea to do much about it now, but we should still keep it in mind.” Albedo crossed his arms standing on his student council seat. “So, who’s going to keep it?” The one-eyed-man asked as he looked at the 3 in the same room. “Maybe we can split the dolls so all of us have a doll.” Sucrose suggested as she looked at the seven dolls.  “That means one of us only gets one doll.” Kaeya said as he took a doll.


“I volunteer Kaeya to only have one doll.” Albedo said as he quickly grabbed two dolls. “Albedo I thought you loved me.” Kaeya whined looking at his sweet blonde lover.

In the end Kaeya got one doll while Sucrose, Albedo and Dainsleif got two dolls. 

Sucrose looked at her two dolls, she had anemo and pyro. Two elements that make a good elemental reaction for fighting, she knows since she once fought with Yanfei, a young girl with a pyro vision. She knows that Kaeya got dendro, Albedo got cryo and hydro and Dainsleif got geo and electro. Of course, they said that if they needed to they could switch dolls from time to time.


"What a disappointment. None of them could get the dolls in time"


Mona looked into the sky, the big bright sun was shining on everyone in Teyvat. She still remembers the words of a certain little boy from years ago, till this day she still denies it. "There's no way the stars are a lie." 

Lisa was in the library, working part time to live in modern day life. She didn't have much time left, she knew that, and so did they.

These two girls shared a certain knowledge, they shared it often with each other. Sometimes even with a certain someone. But did they know about the others?

Chapter Text

Keqing woke up to the sounds of little children playing. Klee and Diona were trying to make food, with Ganyu helping them of course. “Klee! Let me use the stove.” The purple haired girl could hear the movements coming from the kitchen. It was fortunate that Qiqi and Sayu were still asleep or else many other things would happen. Like Qiqi trying to put her medicine in the food while it’s cooking or Sayu accidentally forgetting to close the lid for the blender. In other words, if all 4 girls were cooking, a monstrosity would occur. So, the couple tried their best to only have 2 kids in the kitchen.

Keqing slowly woke up as she did her morning routine. It’s not like someone fully wakes up in 30 seconds right. “What are you doing?” Keqing put her hand on her hip as she slowly walked towards the trio. “We’re making tea break pancakes, we asked Big sister Noelle to give us her recipe yesterday!” Diona exclaimed as she slowly mixed the cake batter using a fork. ‘Keqing please save me’ was the words that could be read on Ganyus face. “I’ll take it from here. How about you girls go and over to Albedo and Baizhu’s?” Ah yes, forcing the girls into Dorm 56 was the way to go. Makes Keqing and Ganyus life easier and Albedo and Baizhus life harder. “That actually sounds like a good idea, Klee come let’s go to Mr Albedo’s.” Diona grabbed Klee and ran towards their room to change their clothes. Ganyu rushed towards Keqing hugging her “Oh my god, Keqing I love you.” Ganyu then sighed in relief. “Shouldn’t we at least tell Albedo and Baizhu as a heads up?” Ganyu asked the electro vision wielder. “No, if we do, they’re going to decline so we just have to force them.”


40 minutes later...


Albedo: @Ganyu @Keqing I fucking hate you.

Baizhu: ^

Keqing: the feelings mutual


“Hey Keqing, since it’s your birthday why don’t we do something fun?” Ganyu asked as she cuddled the girl. The two girls had already finished the pancakes and had asked Qiqi and Sayu to go over to Albedos with them. “Wanna go to the mall?”

“So, what do we do first?” Ganyu asked Keqing as she looked around the mall. “Uh... maybe we should go to the arcade and then we should go eat something. Oh! We’re almost out of food in the dorms.” The purple eyed lady then held the other’s hand. “Then it’s arcade first.”

“This stupid little...” Keqing tried her best to get the stuffed toy she wanted from the claw machine, almost breaking the glass to get it. “Uhm... Keqing don’t you think it’s time for you to give up?” Ganyu tapped Keqing on the shoulder and with Keqing so concentrated on it Keqing didn’t notice. Until, it grabbed the toy she wanted. “Ah! Ganyu look! I got it!” Keqing hugged the girl squeezing her tightly. “Congratulations!” Ganyu patted her on the back. Ganyu let go of the hug so that Keqing could get it from underneath, Keqing started at the plush long and hard. It was a Rex Lapis plush; it was Rex Lapis in their Exuvia form. “Cute isn’t it.” Ganyu chuckled at Keqing, as adorable as she was at the time.

After that Ganyu had a try on getting the plush she wanted. Ganyu decided to give up after 14 tries.

“Ganyu, do you want to play table hockey?” Keqing pointed to the table hockey just a few steps away from them. It was completely free and no one seemed to have any intention of going over there. “Sure.” Ganyu smiled as they held each other's hand and walked over. “Then I’ll take the left side and you’ll take the right.” Keqing let go of the others hand. “Are you ready? I’ll put the coin in now.” Ganyu inserted the coin into the coin slot, and the game began.

“Shit.” The score was 5:8 with Ganyu in the lead. “Are you sure you can keep up?” Ganyu chuckled at the girl, Ganyu was always very competitive in games. It was like she was a different person when playing games, Ganyu was usually very quiet and polite. However, once a game has begun, she became cocky and ignorant. “The game isn’t over until it’s over, Ganyu.” but Keqing is even more ignorant and competitive even if she’s on the losing side. In the end the game ended in a tie, sucks to be them, I guess. Unfortunately, they couldn’t do a rematch because some other people wanted to play.

So instead, they decided to play bask-in-the-bucketball (basketball). The ones in arcades not an actual basketball match on a court. “We can settle the score here. The person who gets the most points wins and the loser has to buy lunch.” Ganyu said as she slowly pushed in her coin in her row. Keqing then put her coin in hers, “Are you ready?” The purple haired lady looked over at the other, “Yes, I am ready.” Ganyu breathed in and out. “Then, 3,2,1.” At the same time, both girls pressed start as quickly as possible. Grabbing the ball and shooting was the most stressful. Each time they shot in they looked at the others. 10 points turned into 20, then 40, then 80 and so on and so on. If you looked at them from afar then you could feel the intense aura. Soon enough, the two stopped shooting. They were both out of breath after using their arms most of the time but their feet were perfectly fine. They looked at each other's score boards, 180 points on Ganyus, and 190 points on Keqings. Keqing jumped up and down in excitement, almost looking like a kid. “I guess I have to pay. We should get going now. What should we eat?” Ganyu looked around her pockets looking for her wallet. “Yeah, we should. But first we should get some figurine from the arcade or something.”

The arcade staff swore that if they saw Ganyu and Keqing ever again, they will once again avoid them at all costs.

“What do you wanna eat?” Ganyu looked around to find any restaurants that looked decent. However, when they were looking for some restaurants, they saw two VERY VERY familiar people. “It’s Yanfei and Hu Tao!” Ganyu pointed at the two pyro vision bearers. “It really is!” Keqing looked at the couple, not in horror but in confusion. What a coincidence right. “They look really lovey-dovey. WE shouldn’t interfere.” Ganyu held Keqing’s hand dragging her away.

“Also, I think I saw Ayato trailing after the two.” Keqing said as she looked back to confirm. “...Even more reason we shouldn’t go that direction.”

“Maybe some Vietnamese food will do us some good.” Ganyu said as she slowly walked the nearby restaurant that sold Vietnamese cuisine. “Sounds like a plan.”

“Hủ tiếu is so good oh my god.” Ganyu took a big bite of the noodles, both of the hủ tiếu they ordered were the no soup version so they had to add a bit of soy sauce. Soon, they finished the entire noodle dish bite by bite. “That will be 9,500 mora please.” Ganyu handed the waitress her credit card.

“Other than that, happy birthday Keqing,” Ganyu gave Keqing a birthday present. “Hope you like this!” Ganyu stepped back. Keqing was now holding a little box wrapped in purple wrapping with a black bow on it. “I’ll open this at home, but thank you Ganyu.” She smiled.

“Uhm, are you Keqing? I’m the taxi that you ordered.” The taxi driver ruined the moment but they really needed to get home at that point. The girls both giggled softly, “Yes, I am, indeed, Keqing.”

Chapter Text

Up in Celestia  


“Baal, don’t you think that was a little harsh? Considering our little archons here tried their very best.” 


“Those little rascals? Archons? We’re better off having that Dainsleif guy and his little family rule over.”  


“Morax that was a little harsh don’t you think?”  


“You have no place to talk, you are the worst to Venti.”  


“At least I know which person I can insult.”  


“Oh well, at least now we can put our plan can go into motion.” 



“!” Lumine investigated the sky, she could feel it happening. “L-Lumine?” Sucrose, who sat next to her shook because of the sudden movement. “Sucrose, can you speak flowers?” Both girls knew what was happening.   


“What is it this time? You know that I don’t like these types of meetings.” Aether sat on Zhongli's student council seat. “Well, it isn’t our fault that these types of meetings are necessary. This is the only Archons blind spot.” Albedo said as he slowly sat onto his seat. “So? What did you sense.” Kaeya questioned the young girl. “The Archons seems to have started their plan.” when they heard her say that they all looked at her in shock. “What the- Weren't they supposed to do it in 4 months?” Aether looked at his sister in shock. “It’s just what I sensed; it might be wrong... but that unlikely.” there was a sudden panic. “Well for now, we need to get ready for the worst.”   


“Xingqiu, I've been thinking. Lately things have been a little weird right?” Chongyun looked over at his lover. “...Well now that you mention it yeah. It has been a little weird these days.” Xingqiu sighed as he flipped a page of his book. “It’s probably nothing.”   


The next day  


Sucrose looked at her two dolls. They decided not to give either Aether nor Lumine a doll because they were dealing with other things. She took the anemo doll, what could the dolls do? Were they a sign for an attack? Or the attack themselves. Until she found a little something inside of the dolls stuffing. It was a Vayuda Turquoise Sliver, the Vayuda Turquoise collection channels a lot of anemo energy. Meaning if you sue it forn a period you can have anemo powers. This is forbidden knowledge, and few knows about it. If you were to ask about the Vayuda Turquoise collection then they wouldn’t know what you were talking about. If the Vayuda Turquoise Sliver was in the anemo doll then the Agnidus Agate Sliver would be in the pyro doll and so on and so on. Sucrose carefully took the stuffing out of the doll and she was right. She had to tell the others her discovery. She checked her phone, well unfortunately it was 1 am. Sleep comes first. When people say Sucrose was a bad sense of time, they mean it.  


The next day came (more like a few hours but let us pretend). “Sucrose?” Ayaka knocked on the door a few times. Ayaka opened the door to Sucrose's room, what first caught her eye was the dolls on the table. She immediately took notice, still it would make sense for Sucrose to have some dolls considering she is Albedo's assistant. “Thank you... Ayaka.” Sucrose grabbed her glasses, but by then Ayaka had already gone down. “What are we eating today?” Sucrose shouted as loud as she could but it didn’t really sound like a shout. “Zhongyuan chop suey, made by the almighty Xinyan!”  


Childe was walking out of class until a certain lady gave him a message.   


“Ajax, let us and the others meet.”  


Childe knew exactly what this was.   


“Fandango man!” Childe walked up to the boy. “What do you want.” the little man looked at him in disgust.  


“Wanna play with ice?”  

Chapter Text

Sucrose was never good at speaking. She still had people around her, she just was not the best speaker. She would freeze when talking to strangers sometimes but around people she knew she was better at speaking. She was always curious about things.  


Even how her friends  








“Sucrose?” Knock knock, Sucrose could hear the loud knocking at her bedroom door. This was usually how Eula woke Sucrose up. The knocking stopped; Eula has gone back down to with the others. The sight of her room was blurry, until she picked up her glasses as she slowly wore them. In the morning, her entire body was weak. She’s fragile, just like glass, but the glass in her heart already broke years ago. And they were the cause of it.   


“What are we eating?” Sucrose slowly walked down stairs eyeing the food on the table. To her surprise, there was someone else she wouldn’t think would be cooking. “Albedo? And Kaeya?” Sucrose was confused, why were her associates in her dormitory? And they were guys too. Albedo noticed Sucrose’s presence, “Hello there.” Albedo slowly stirred the pot of soup as Kaeya watched him. “Albedo and Kaeya came over so we forced them to cook us breakfast today.” Ayaka smiled as she put her hands on her lap. You could say it was an innocent smile but the words she said was not that innocent.   


“Whoa, that actually looks really good!” Xinyan looked at the wakatakeni that Albedo made for them. "It seems you are familiar with Inazuman cuisine. I certainly was not expecting this.” Ayaka looked at the blonde-haired man. “My love really is great cook, isn’t he?” Kaeya chuckled. “This is splendid. Next time let us force you to make us breakfast again.” Eula said as she sipped the broth. “...No thank you. Anyway, Kaeya and I want to talk to Sucrose.”   


By the time they finished eating, Ayaka, Eula and Xinyan had gone outside already, leaving the three alone in the dorm. “Sucrose. You know what we are going to talk about, right?” Albedo, Sucrose and Kaeya were in the kitchen. The plates were still plated on the table, not yet put in the sink. “I know.” Sucrose looked down at her lap, not facing Albedo and Kaeya. “Do you want a leave of absence? I’m sure Dain would understand.”   


In the end Sucrose agreed to her leave of absence. She was going to meet the graveyard, the graveyard of her friends. She didn’t really remember their faces; she only remembered their voices and names. Like for example, Glucose and Fructose, her friends' names. If she remembered Glucose had pastel pink hair that faded into light blue at the ends, tied up in pigtails. She was about 159 cm tall and weighted around 30kg. She was under-weight and would starve herself every now and then. Sucrose would tell her to eat she would beg sometimes but Glucose just wouldn’t listen. Glucose was very fragile, if you broke her once, she would break forever. She was quiet, but her mind was always fighting. On the other hand, Fructose had dark black hair that was straight, it was let loose and was long as well. She was around 180 cm from what Sucrose remembered, weighing about 58kg. She played many sports and fought battles against men. She had a pyro vision unlike Glucose who had no vision. She was always happy and would comfort Glucose when Sucrose was not around. But she was also broken. When she was younger, she had been sexually assaulted. She begged for the guy to stop but they didn’t. In the end, someone saved her from him and they killed the man. She was thankful but she saw the blood, dripping down from his neck. She saw him slowly die, the person who had protected her in the cost of a man's blood. She ran away. Thankfully, she still had her clothes on. The person who protected her didn’t chase after her, but instead killed themselves. She was terrified. She really was. She was only a child. A child who saw blood. A child who saw two dead bodies. She swore to never tell anyone but Sucrose and Glucose. That was how close the three were. Of course, they spent time together with other people, but they were not as close. They were like sisters.   


Sisters who shared their pain. 


“Hello, Glucose. I know you don’t really like food but, please accept this.” Sucrose placed down a bag of biscuits. Even though Glucose never ate, when she did, she always insisted on having biscuits after. “And this is for you.” Sucrose placed down a small dagger on Fructose's grave. She knew Fructose liked to collect certain weapons for self-defensive. Even though she didn’t really need them because her fists were already enough.   



If you have come to this point in the chapter then you are probably asking,  “Why is Sucrose going to her friends’ grave on her birthday?”   




Well. Let me tell you a story. About how Fructose and Glucose died.   



Sucrose, Glucose and Fructose were walking on the street. They were just casually walking, unaware of the terror that would hit them.   


“Glucose? You seem a bit out of it. Are you okay?” Fructose waved her hand in front of Glucoses face. “A-ah, I’m fine just a bit tired.” Glucose said as she smiled at the girl. “Then do you want to go home?” Sucrose asked. They were only 14 years old at the time. Their parents had already trusted them with this kind of stuff. “I can manage since it’s Sucrose's birthday.” Glucose giggled. “...If you say so, but if you ever feel sick tell us right away.” Fructose stretched her arms out. That would be her mistake. Someone grabbed Fructose by the hand, their grip was extraordinarily strong. Even stronger than Fructose's. “LET ME GO YOU BASTARD!” Fructose yelled as she tried her best to run away. They were pulling Fructose away from Sucrose and Glucose. The two girls noticed and chased after them, Fructose shouted for help but no one came. The louder she shouted, the faster Sucrose and Glucose could pin point her location. Until, the screaming stopped. That's right, it stopped. Sucrose and Glucose couldn’t hear her screams anymore. It was just, silent. Until Glucose disappeared as well. “SUCROSE RUN AS FAST AS YOU CAN! FORGET ABOUT ME AND FRUCTOSE!” Glucose screamed. When Sucrose heard her command, she did exactly that. She ran away out of fear. She let her friends die. She is the person to blame. Because of the guilt Sucrose held, Sucrose would often cut herself on her right ankle. It was the place where people wouldn’t notice and for her to relieve her guilt. She could feel herself losing it.   


Unfortunately, they were never able to find the killer, so every day she hoped and prayed the killer of her friends would die a miserable death. She despised that person, even though they had never met before. They didn’t need too.  


Sucrose looked at the two graves. She wanted to cry, but she knew the two would feel bad if she did. So, she didn’t. She smiled and bowed down. She burst out crying once she was back in the dorm, her cries were loud. So loud that they could almost be heard from outside her room. She was hurt. She could feel the wound in her heavy heart.   


The wound that she knows will never heal. 



(this is fran’s gf and even im hurt by reading this T__T if you’re crying dw me too ): see you next time, thank you for reading this chapter!!!)  

Chapter Text

uh yeah what the title said

Chapter Text

“Wanna play with ice? 


Scaramouche turned around to look at the ugly white man. “...Now?”   


“...Dottore and Signora are already there right.”   


Childe and Scaramouche knocked on the student council's door. “Come in.” To their surprise, there was not just Dainsleif in the room. There were a few other people in the room. Whom Dainsleif could not see but the two at the door could. The six in the room snapped their heads to see who was at the door.  


The six fucking archons are in the same fucking room.   


 “Oh, it’s just you two.” Barbatos said as he slowly walked towards them. “Isn’t your little god waiting for you? Kind of improper of you to make an archon wait.” Kusanali crossed her arms, shaking her head. “You shouldn’t pressure the two harbingers like that. They need to be able to leave school with this guy's permission.” Baal said. “Do you need something? Why are you just standing there.” Dainsleif asked the two boys. “Oh, um. Can we get a leave of absence?” Childe awkwardly said. “Your reason?” Dainsleif asked them as he signed some papers. “We have job interviews to get to.” Scaramouche confidently said. “That’s a nice excuse.” Murata was shocked to hear Scaramouches answer so she clapped for the two. “Alright then. I’ll inform the teachers.” Dainsleif stood up. “Make sure you get that job.”   



Dainsleif: seems the fatui have a meeting with their archon  


Albedo: you mean right now?  


Dainsleif: right now  


“This way, my lords.” A fatui diplomat, who is within Pierro's division. The three were alone in a dark alley way, “May the Tsaritsa’s dream come true. All loyalty to the Tsaritsa. Those who disobey will be greatly punished.” The doors to the  Zapolyarny Palace.  


The Zapolyarny Palace is where most of the fatui reside. However, it is more than just where the fatui hail. It is where the Tsaritsa hails and where fatui members train. It says the reason the fatui train there is so the Tsaritsa can watch what she calls her “children” or “family.”  To see who can become a harbinger, and to see who is worthy of her attention. Only the archons and harbingers have seen what the Tsaritsa looks like, but people say she has the appearance of a medium sized girl looking in her teens. Her hair white like snow, and eyes light blue. And her hands, they were cold, just one touch and you could feel your own temperature falling. However, these rumors only reside within the fatui walls. Why may you ask? It is simple. Those who reside in the fatui, are not allowed to speak of the Tsaritsa to outsiders. If you do, an execution will occur. Each and every execution is different from one another. But every single one of them has four things in common. One, the power of cryo is used. Two, the Tsaritsa will do it personally. Three, it takes place in a private room for the harbingers to watch the rule breaker to be punished. Finally, the blood from the victim will be extracted and put into a little bucket, so that the Tsaritsa herself can dip a white chamomile in it. Turning the beautiful white flower into a deep vibrant red. The flower is usually preserved and put into a safe box inside the gardens of the Zapolyarny Palace marking the crimes the person committed. After the execution, the fatui themselves will remove the person's existence from everyone's minds, excluding people in the fatui. They will also remove all memories of the Tsaritsa outside fatui walls. Making the Tsaritsa unknown throughout most of Teyvat.  


Scaramouche and Childe were at the doors of the meeting room for the harbingers. Guarded by two male fatui agents. The two agents bowed down and opened the door for the two. By the time they went in they had changed into their formal attire. “You’re late.” Capitano yelled at the two harbingers. “How about you blame that fucking Dainsleif hoe.” Scaramouche sat down onto his respective seat. “Well, it’s not like the Her Majesty is here, so technically we aren’t late.” Childe tried to calm his two seniors. “What a way of words little one.” La Signora laughed as she sipped her cup of tea. “I would rather lose my rank as a harbinger than have you compliment me.” Childe glared at her. “So vulgar.” Pulcinella said. It was clear that everyone here despised each other, they just didn’t show it. “My Lords and Ladys. Her Majesty is here.” Two cicin mages came in with the Tsaritsa. Both had blind folds on, not being able to see the appearance of the Tsaritsa.   


“Hello, my children.” Her aura was strong, it was intense. The cicin mages were glad they couldn’t see the Tsaritsa. Her mere presence was suffocating. The Tsaritsa sat on her seat, “I am here to inform you all on the archon battle. This is important so listen carefully.” Her voice was soft and eerie. She spoke politely, none of her words were vulgar like some of the harbingers. “This year's archon battle will be in the realm within.” The Tsarita then pulled out a tea pot. “Your Majesty, may I ask what that is?” Dottore asked. “This is the serenitea pot. Inside the serenitea pot you will be sent into a realm within.”  The harbingers looked like curious pets all looking at the tea pot. “Why the sudden change?” Pierro asked. “...Who knows.”   


“I will be going now. You may leave or keep talking, farewell.” The Tsaritsa stood up and left, the two cicin mages following her. “So? What will you be doing with this information?” Pierro, the first of the fatui harbingers, also known as the joker. He recruited most of the fatui harbingers in the room. He is respected by most of his colleagues, and no one dares to defy his words. Except for a few amongst the harbingers. “With this information isn’t it obvious? We’re all going to prepare for the fight somehow are we not?” Scaramouche, the sixth of the fatui harbingers, also known as the balladeer. You already know this man, but it doesn’t hurt to tell you all his true background, right? He isn’t really liked amongst the fatui, so of course people tend to avoid him when he’s in his fatui business. Outside of work you could say he’s a decent man. “I’m leaving.” Capatino stood up and left the room. “Capatino you’re always quick to leave, why don’t you try to stay and have a nice chat?” Sandrone said, but by the time he said that the man had already left. “I’m gonna go. I have a school to get to.” Scaramouche left the room. “I still can’t believe that 4 fatui harbingers were assigned to a school. Makes me have a good chuckle.” Pulcinella laughed as he said that. “How about you shut the fuck up. Be glad you're not the one there fucking ass.” Scaramouche slammed the door ending his statement showing the middle finger to all of them. Soon enough there was only Childe and Pierro. “I’ll be going now. Take care.” Childe stood up and left the room. “Wait.” Childe turned around to face the man. “...Never mind, quickly get to your school.” Pierro waved the young one goodbye. The doors shut closed. Pierro looked around the room in a daze. He looked outside the window.   


“What a joyful sight.” he said as he watched a little girl stab a man repeatedly. 

Chapter Text

Private chat with albedo  


Kaeya: did you know that cum tastes warm and salty?  


Albedo: kaeya wtf its 2 in the morning   






Kaeya: im gonna cry  


Albedo: so am I  


Kaeya: go to sleep   


Albedo: no u  



Albedo and Kaeya proceed to say that the other should sleep even though they both need it. Hypocrites am I right just stay up till 4 am together. But eventually they decided to do just that and go to sleep like you should.  



Kaeya woke up to his trusty alarm clock, the sound of it being vibrated throughout the room. “Morning Dain.” Kaeya placed his hand on Dainsleifs shoulder. Aether was still in the house, so they got Dainsleif to cook in the morning. “What do you want.” Dainsleif asked. “I want a leave of absence.” Kaeya smirked. “Okay.” There is no point in arguing with Kaeya Alberich because god knows that Kaeya will convince anyone. “I also want to hang out with Albedo for my birthday can you let him be absent too?” Kaeya said. “Okay.”   


“And that’s the story of how we can go on a picnic!” Kaeya was at Albedos .  Baizhu and the rest had already left the dorms leaving Kaeya and Albedo alone. “So, you’re saying that you somehow convinced Dain to give both of us a leave of absence. And now I’m going to go on a picnic with you?” Albedo said with confusion. “Yes. That is exactly what I just said.”   


“I fucking hate you.” Albedo and Kaeya were outside the school grounds. Albedo was wearing what he usually wore outside. He was wearing emo attire, mostly black, but his key features were his fish nets. Kaeya gifted him those same fish nets for Albedo's birthday back in September,   and now Kaeya forced him to wear them. He didn’t mind wearing the black skirt, in fact he wore skirts in public from time to time.   However, the fish nets were absolute hell Surprisingly enough, Albedo didn’t half mind wearing them if he was not in public, but now? He wanted to die. There were a lot of stares A group of girls approached the two, “Hey, uhm ,  miss? I would suggest you wear something else if you are out in public. A lot of things happen and-”   


“What do you mean by that ? ” Kaeya glared. “He can wear whatever he   wants, and it’s not miss, it’s mister.” He declared. “Let’s go.” Kaeya dragged Albedo away leaving the group of girls dumbfounded. As Albedo was being dragged away, he looked over at the girls. The picnic basket was shaking a lot.   


“Ah... I remember when I was a girl too. I hated it.”  


“Kaeya, isn’t your car on the other side?” It was true, they were going to go in   Kaeya's car, but Kaeya dragged him on the wrong side. “...Uh you’re right.” So, the two walked back to find their car and drove to the destination.   


They were finally at their destination. Stormbearer mountains, it was a well-known place for its beautiful scenery. Especially at night and noon. Beside it is the famous   Starsnatch cliff its nickname is “Lovers Cliff” because a lot of couples would go there Kaeya and Albedo looked around to find a nice patch of grass. “This seems like a nice patch of grass.” Albedo pointed at a spot beneath a tree. It was shady over there, so the tree could protect the two from the sun. “Hearing you say a nice patch of grass sounds kinda weird. Very  unscience-y. ” Kaeya chuckled. Albedo glared at him in return.   


Albedo placed down the picnic basket and opened it. Inside there was a variety of food. Ranging from all over teyvat. It was a feast; Kaeya could demolish most of the food there ,  leaving some for Albedo. “So, who made all this?” Albedo asked. “Do you really think I’m hopeless at cooking...” Kaeya looked at the blonde one with puppy eyes. “Well, you’re right, I asked a certain youngster to prepare this for me.” Kaeya admitted. “Holy- Xiangling even made drinks for us?” Albedo found a lot of little bottles of mysterious drinks. “Oh, those were from Diluc and Diona.” Kaeya took a bottle and chugged it down. Most of the bottles were covered in some black cloth to hide what it was. The black cloth had little cat drawings drawn on by Diona. “Oh, this is strawberry milk.” Kaeya closed the lid. “We should go and set up all the food.  


“Damn those look good.” Kaeye eyed the lotus flower crisp. “It is sweet and most of the people of Liyue ate the snack in early childhood. It is the norm for a Liyuen to know about the lotus flower crisp.” Albedo explained the snack to the older man. Kaeya then took a small bite of the snack, “This is really good, here, try it.” Kaeya fed the remaining snack to Albedo. “Wow, no wonder the people of Liyue love this snack!” Albedo said with the snack in his mouth, almost muffling his words. “There’s also mini chicken burgers, Xiangling really outdid herself this time.” Kaeya ate the entire mini burger in one sitting. Albedo took a small bite of the burger, “Ew. There’s tomatoes in here.” Albedo then proceeded to remove ever tomato from each mini burger and feed it to Kaeya one by one.   


“No offense to Scaramouche but mans is kinda annoying.” It had been an hour in, fortunately Kaeya was fanning Albedo. Turns out, Diluc put dandelion wine in one of the bottles and Albedo drank it. “Mhm, keep going.” Kaeya's fanning speed started to slow down. “Like sure we’re both trans and stuff we hit off but like lowkey kinda protective just saying.” Albedo took a bite of an egg roll. “Kaeya go get me that drink.” Albedo pointed at a mystery drink. Of course, Kaeya took the bottle, but instead of giving it to Albedo, he kept it. “What are you doing?” Albedo glared at the man, “You want this? Then get it.” Kaeya drank the mystery drink; inside the bottle was dango milk. Dango milk had a porridge like texture, so it could stay on the tongue somehow. “Mother fucker.” As Albedo cursed at him, Kaeya opened his legs wide open. He hit his lap two times. Soon enough, Albedo crawled over and sat on his lap. They could have sex in that position to be honest, but they don’t do that shit out in the open. He had a skirt on so you could say Kaeya's cock was slightly rubbing against Albedo's vagina,  but they don’t do that shit out in the open . Albedo put his lips against Kaeya’s, slowly feeding himself the dango milk. Their tongues intertwined; the feeding started to turn into a deep kiss. Albedo let go of the kiss. “What the fuck? are you hard?” Albedo’s teal eyes were locked onto Kaeya’. Kaeya didn’t even realize he was hard. Albedo glared at him, “We are not having sex here.”   


Soon enough it was nighttime. It was windy, so no need to fan each other anymore. Most of the food had been finished up by Kaeya. Now, they were stargazing. “Those stars look like a penis.” Kaeya pointed up in the sky. “No, they don’t. You’re just horny.” Albedo looked at the penis stars. “You know, Albedo, I’m really glad you accepted my confession.” Kaeya stated.  


And I’m glad that I didn’t have to confess first. Albedo thought to himself. But it’s not like he’s going to tell Kaeya that.  


Maybe next time, Albedo will be the one who has enough courage.  

Chapter Text

“Ganyu, you need to stop eating, you’re getting fat.” 


“Ganyu is like an elephant. AHHHAHHAA.” 


“Ganyu is really fucking fat.”  


“What a pig.” 


“You’ve gained weight.” 


“Pfft, fat bitch.” 



please stop  


please stop  


please stop  











Ganyu woke up, she was sweating like crazy. She was scared. Scared of the voices in her head. Ganyu looked to her left, there was her girlfriend Keqing. She was sleeping peacefully, breathing normally and in a deep slumber. Ganyu slowly crept out of the bed, making sure she didn’t wake up Keqing.   


Ganyu went downstairs to make food for everyone in the dormitory. She planned on making vegetarian abalone. A healthy dish from Liyue, it is known for its rich flavor and freshness. It is delicious, and sometimes served in fine dining. For a commoner to know how to make it would be surprising. Of course, she isn’t as great as Xiangling or other chefs, but she could consider herself better than decent.  


It had been about 40 minutes since Ganyu started to prepare the dish. Qiqi and Diona were downstairs talking about who knows what. “Qiqi, now that I think about it. Ganyu only cooks healthy dishes. Almost 0 calories.” Diona said as she drew on the floor. “Do you think so? I never noticed.” Qiqi said. Qiqi watched as Diona take the light blue crayon out of the box. “Of course, you wouldn’t, you don’t remember things well.” Diona sighed. “If she’s doing it on purpose then she probably wants us to be healthy. So, I don’t really mind.” Qiqi said. Diona looked up at the girl,” ...I guess you’re right.”  


“...” Ganyu overheard the two girls talking about what she made. Well, it didn’t matter if they were healthy and were eating well, right? “Good morning.” Keqing said as she slowly walked down the staircase. “Good morning.” Ganyu smiled at her girlfriend. “Is Klee and Sayu still asleep?” Keqing pulled the chair out from the table. “Yeah, they are, I’ll call then out once I finish cooking.”   


“Good morning!” Klee was more hyper than usual, after all she got more sleep than she usually did. Sayu on the other hand was the opposite. She looked like she was going to pass out sooner or later even though she got plenty of sleep. Ganyu placed down the plates, she made 2 batches of vegetarian abalone so they could all share. They six of them enjoyed their vegetarian abalone for the day.   


Dainsleif walked towards the blue haired girl, “Hey, Ganyu. Just letting you know you have the day off.” Dainsleif quickly made his escape, knowing that if he just ran away there would be no negotiation. “Lucky you.” Keqing smiled at the girl and waved goodbye.   


Ganyu decided to go somewhere else in her own free time alone. It had been a long time since she went shopping for things of her own use. So, she decided to go shopping for the day.   



“Look at that girl, she’s so pretty.” 


“She’s so skinny, I wish I had her body.” 


“That shade of blue is beautiful.” 



“Hey, do you want to add me on WeChat?” A group of males approached Ganyu. “No thank you.” Ganyu attempted to walk away but they grabbed her by the wrist. “C’mon, it’s just WeChat. Plus, with a body like that you’re just asking for it.” The boy wouldn’t let go of Ganyu. She was scared, “Wait... aren’t you Ganyu?” The group of males looked at her dead in the eyes. “How do you know my name?” Ganyu looked at them scared. They were making a scene, and everyone was looking at them. She was scared for her life. She should’ve just stayed at home. “That’s Ganyu? Wasn’t she really fat?” The group of boys looked at her up and down. “What a glow up.” One of the boys licked their ice cream. “Don’t you remember me? I'm Dongsheng!”   


Of course   I remember you, you’re the one who fat shamed me.  


“No, I don’t think we’ve met before. Can you leave me alone?” Ganyu tried to get his grip to loosen. She wanted to escape and go back home to Keqing. She wanted to be comforted. She wanted to go back. She wanted to be safe. She wanted to be skinny.  


5 years ago  











Ganyu stood on scale, “70kg” she was overweight. She was fat, she was 70kg at 159 cm. She felt like an animal. She was so ugly, she wanted to die. She just wanted to lose all that weight. People called her a pig everywhere. All she could hear was fat. She was crying. She didn’t know what to do. She didn’t have the motivation to exercise. But she wanted to lose weight. She didn’t want to eat healthily either. She just wanted to lose weight somehow. She took pill after pill, she even considered getting plastic surgery. But she couldn’t afford it. So, what could she afford? She could starve herself. Only eat one meal a day. Then she would lose weight, right? So, she did just that. She starved herself, she was eating one meal a day. She was so hungry, but she wanted to lose weight more. Soon enough, she was losing weight. Ganyu’s mother didn’t notice because she would eat lunch and breakfast at school. So, she thought that Ganyu was eating all 3 meals a day. Soon Ganyu’s mother noticed the amount of weight Ganyu lost. She was overjoyed because Ganyu wouldn’t be bullied so much anymore, but she wondered why her daughter was losing weight so quickly. Ganyu seemed to be happier, so she didn’t question it. She should’ve questioned it.  


It had been a few months since then. She weighed 53kg, but in exchange, she was tired and stressed. She didn’t have enough energy to do schoolwork, causing some of her grades to drop. But seeing the numbers on the scale drop was so relieving, it made her feel like she was achieving something when she was losing everything else around her. “Ganyu, you seem to be a bit tired. Are you okay?” Ganyu’s mother knocked on her door. “Ganyu. Let me in.” Xiao opened the door. Inside was a crying Ganyu, her brother quickly rushed towards her and so did her mother. Her mother quickly rushed to hug her. Xiao hugged her as well. Their father had already passed away. They were a family of three. Just the three of them. Soon to be four.   


“So, you’ve been losing weight by not eating?” Ganyu’s mother asked. “Mhm.” Ganyu’s tears were dried up, her voice cranky and her throat hurt. Both of her family members knew what to say. “Well, for now I’ll be with you while you eat lunch and breakfast.” Xiao said calmly. “If you want to lose weight, how about you exercise with me?” Ganyu’s mother intertwined their hands. “From now on we’ll exercise together. It’s no good to skip meals,” Ganyu’s mom was surprisingly calm. “We should also send Ganyu to the hospital. This might be serious, plus it doesn’t hurt to check.”   


“Ganyu... is diagnosed with an eating disorder?” The family was shocked about what the doctor had said. “Yes, I’m so sorry. However, it is possible to recover from an eating disorder. You just need to follow the following. Of course, it will take some time, but it's worth it.” The doctor gave Ganyu’s mother a slip of paper. Listing things that could help Ganyu recover. “I’m sure at first it’ll seem hard for Ganyu, but if she has her mind set on recovering, it’ll be a breeze for such a brilliant girl.”   


Back to present 


“Please leave me alone.” Ganyu begged. She was so close to using her cryo vision, but it would make her cause an even bigger scene. “How about you stop bitching around, you motherfucker.” There was a familiar voice. She looked behind her, it was Keqing and Xiao. “Or what?” The group of males started to get pissed off. “Don’t you dare lay a hand on my girlfriend or I'll commit murder right here.” Keqing took out her electro vision. “Damn she’s a fucking faggot.” The group of males left her alone. “Ganyu, are you okay?” Keqing hugged her girlfriend in worry. Xiao remaining silent. “I’m fine, but what are you doing here?” Ganyu asked. She looked at the big shopping bags they were carrying, “What is that?” Ganyu looked at the bags. They were big and looked as if they were stuffed with a lot of different things. “We were planning a party for you but then we saw you here.” Xiao said. Ganyu looked at the two and giggled.  


“Well, I don’t really want to party today. So instead return it and come shopping with me!” 

Chapter Text

“What do I do with this information?” Scaramouche thought. “Fuck, what is her majesty thinking?”  


“Sucrose, what did you find something out in these dolls? "Albedo asked. “Inside each doll there should be a Vayuda fragment of the dolls element.” Sucrose showed her two dolls. Their stuffing ripped apart; you would almost feel sorry for the doll. 

As if they were living people. 

Then suddenly, Albedo quickly took a knife and stabbed the doll where the human heart was supposed to be. Everyone in the room just watched. The knife was still in the doll, there didn’t seem to be any reason to stab it unless out of anger. Nothing seemed to be out of the ordinary. It was just a doll being stabbed by another doll. Until what seemed to be blood soaked into the doll's clothing. “As I expected.” Albedo then ripped the dolls' clothes off. There was clearly blood visible on both the dolls “skin” and clothing. “So? What do we do with this information.” Aether asked as he sat at the student council table. “Uhm... well. It seems the dolls are alive.” Lumine said. “But when I removed my dolls stuffing it didn’t bleed? How come Albedo's doll did.” Sucrose was confused. There were more questions rather than answers. “Both of us did the same thing. Except you took the stuffing out, while I didn’t. The stuffing is probably important.” 


“This announcement is only for students in kindergarten, elementary, middle school and high school. It is now the end of lunch, please make your way to your respective classrooms.”  


“Okay, let’s stop here for today. If you find anything else on your own, tell us.” Dainsleif said. He walked out the door, leaving the 5 in the room alone. “I’ll be going now, I’m starving.” Kaeya intertwined his and Albedo hand, leaving the room with Lumine staring at them. “I’ll excuse myself.” Sucrose bowed down and left the twins alone.   


“Hi, Sucrose.” Venti was in front of the student council door. “O-oh. Hi Venti, do you need something?” Sucrose said. “Can you follow me?”  


“Uhm, Venti, why did you want me to follow you back here?” Sucrose looked around her surroundings. She was in a dark alleyway. It was still day, so she could still see most of the place. Venti stopped, “...Do you know why I brought you here?” Venti turned around, looking at her with his aqua eyes. His eyes were threatening. No, his entire presence was threatening. She was scared, what did Venti need? “No, I don’t.” Sucrose replied. “Can you drink this?” Venti smiled as he handed the girl a bottle of a strange liquid. It was strange in color. At first it was a vibrant red but then it would change into a deep blue.   


“Drink it.” 


Sucrose heard a voice from behind, she turned around, but nothing was there. She looked back and Venti's smile had disappeared without a trace. Everything was weird, from the location, the drink, the voice and Venti. She didn’t know what to say, she was scared. She didn’t know what to do. But then she realized something. This was the same alleyway they died. The same place they disappeared. The same place she wanted to erase. The same place she wanted to forget.  
She ran as fast as she could, she didn’t think but someone pulled her back. “Sucrose, you don’t need to make my life harder, do you?” Venti has his arms on her neck. The drinks lid was wide open, he forced her to open her mouth and made her drink whatever it was. “Good girl.” Sucrose could feel her consciousness go away. She passed out. 


“Ngh...” Sucrose woke up, she was hanging up some dark place. She couldn’t see where she was, everything was just pitch black. She felt someone hug her from behind, “Hello, Sucrose!” It was Venti. “Venti, where am I?” Sucrose asked. She was trying her best to stay calm and composed. “...Why do I have to tell you that?” Venti said coldly. Then suddenly there was light. It was so bright, the entire room felt white. Sucrose looked around, there were black figures and other people. The black figures were seated, and the others were standing in front of them. Except, one of them didn’t have a normal person in front of them. But then she realized something. The black figure that had no one in front of them looked just like Venti. Their features, their hair, their body, their height. Everything looked identical.   


“Shall we get started?” 

Chapter Text

hello everyone :D fran here lmao

fruity pruity is now on hiatus (sad ik) because of school word that i have. the project includes alot of story writing and stuff so i dont think i can manage both that and my fanfics so :(

Chapter Text

A body filled with power, a body filled with knowledge and a body filled with pain and agony. Zhongli fits all of these categories. Not only is he physically powerful, but his knowledge spreads far and wide. However, with such power comes a cost. A hefty cost at that, in exchange for this everlasting knowledge and healthy body he must obey the God of Geo, Morax. Morax is cruel, violent and careless. 

December 31. 16 years ago.  Brother's birthday. Brother's death. Brother’s gone. Sister cried. Sister poisoned. Mother took away. Father took away. 

“Zhongli, you are now chosen as Morax’s vessel.” Zhongli’s mother said, her amber eyes staring down at her child in disgrace. “Morax’s vessel?” Zhongli was 5 at the time, unknown of what's to come. “...Go and ask brother Osail to teach you the ways of an archon's vessel.” Zhongli’s mother left his room, leaving the kid curious to know what comes next. He went upstairs to his brothers room, the mansion was big but with the time there he slowly got used to walking long spiral stairs. “Brother? Can I come in?” Zhongli knocked on Osails' door, and suddenly the door opened. “Oh! Hello, birthday boy, do you need anything?” Osail smiled.


“What’s Morax’s vessel?” Osails smile turned into a frown, he looked deep into Zhonglis soul. The boy was scared, why was his gentle brother looking down at him so intensley? “Who told you about that?” Osail grumbled. “Mother said that I was chosen as Morax’s vessel, but I don’t know what that is. And when I asked her she said to come to y-”


“Get out,” Osail snapped. “Huh?” Zhongli muttered, “I SAID, GET THE FUCK OUT!” Osail slapped Zhongli in the face, because of that the boy fell down. “B-brother?” Zhongli sobbed, “OSAIL! WHAT ARE YOU DOING!” Suddenly, Zhongli’s father came to the ‘rescue’. “WHAT, AM I NOT ALOUD TO BE ANGRY? THIS STUPID CHILD GOT TO BE MORAX’S VESSEL INSTEAD OF ME. I SPENT COUNTLESS YEARS TRYING TO BE PERFECT TO BECOME MORAX’S VESSEL; AND NOW HE’S THE CHOSEN ONE?!? THAT’S FUCKING BULLSHIT.” Osail yelled at their father. Then, the entire family was upstairs, witnessing the two fight. Standing in the hallway was his mother, his sister Azhdaha, his brother Gouba and his younger sister Guizhong. “You’re kidding… that thing became Morax’s vessel?” Azhdaha dropped to her knees, she looked as if she was about to cry. She glared at Zhongli. It looked like she was about to murder the kid. Zhongli felt a pit in his stomach. Was this his fault? “Osail, calm the fuck down.” The father said, terrifyingly calm despite the situation, as if he had expected it. “NO, I’M NOT GOING TO CALM DOWN! IT WOULD BE BETTER IF AZHDAHA WAS THE VESSEL NOT THIS LITTLE BRAT. EVEN IF IT WASN’T ME I WOULDN’T FEEL THAT BAD, BUT ZHONGLI? ZHONGLI OUT OF ALL PEOPLE. WHY ZHONGLI? ANYONE BUT ZHONGLI OR GUIZHONG IN THIS FAMILY WOULD’VE BEEN SUITABLE TO BE MORAX’S VESSEL.” As the fight started to heat up, Gouba took Guizhong and Zhongli and ran downstairs. “What about mother?” Guizhong asked, “Don’t worry, she’s a clown and she really couldn’t care less about her children and this marriage was forced. So, seeing her money bank and her son fight would just be entertainment.” Gouba mumbled. Soon they were in the living room, waiting for the fight to cool down. “Brother, what’s Morax’s vessel?” Zhongli hesitantly asked once again. “... I guess you should know since you are Morax’s vessel after all.” 

“Long ago, after the time of the archons, each archon chose a family to have at least one person to have been their vessel. Each family they chose consented to their terms and promised that they wouldn’t betray their archon. In our case, our family is Morax’s vessel, the Geo Archon. Every vessel had a chance to work for their respective archon and act their shadow. Obeying each and every order they gave to them. They would also get immense power and knowledge of their archon's time. Azhdaha and Osail wanted to be in that position after our uncle died because he was the previous vessel but you got it instead. We don’t know why they decided to do this, but uncle thinks they did it for entertainment. Who knows. Honestly, I wouldn’t want the position as Morax’s vessel. It seems so stressful and uncle seemed to be somewhat happier before he became Morax’s vessel. He seemed to hate his position as the vessel. Grandpa and Grandma prefered that he was the archon vessel. If you looked at Azhdaha and Osail earlier, you can see how bad knowing about the archon vessel can be. You possibly being one and wanting to be one is mentally damaging. I don’t know why they thought this was a good idea, but you’re the chosen one now and you can’t back out of it.” Gouba sighed. “WHERE THE FUCK IS THAT CHILD?” Osail was stomping down, screaming out. Gouba looked at his brother, he had a knife in his hand. He was running towards Zhongli. He wanted to kill Zhongli, Gouba quickly shielded Guizhong and Zhongli. To protect the two kids, he sacrificed his own life. “Zhongli, happy birthday…” Gouba smiled at the two kids, tears spilling out as he slowly dropped to the floor. 


The knife was in his chest, the blood flowed out like a river. Suddenly, Guizhong screamed as loud as she could, “GOUBA, GOUBA NO, PLEASE!” She went over to him, his blood getting all over her sleeping gown. Zhongli stared at Gouba in shock, he didn’t know how to react. Then, he heard a loud slap from across the room, it was Zhongli’s mother slapping Osail across the face. “Look at that, you killed your brother.” She pointed at Gouba’s corpse, Osail then looked at Gouba, beginning to realise what had happened. “No, I didn’t do it, Zhongli did…” Osail started crying. “No, you were the one who murdered Gouba. You were the one who ended your brother’s life. You are a murderer. A murderer who deserves to be locked up.” Zhongli’s mother pushed Osail to the ground. “I’m going to lock you up into a room in this house for you to watch Zhongli evolve into something beautiful, you will suffer the consequnces of murdering your brother, Gouba.” She dragged Osail by his shirt, him not moving an inch. Zhongli’s father then ran downstairs to find the two and Gouba’s corpse. “Zhongli, what happened here?” He asked. “...Osail killed brother.” Zhongli said. “I see, maybe we should’ve sent him to therapy sooner.” Zhonglis father stood up, he closed Gouba’s lifeless eyes. “Guizhong, may I take Gouba away? Father needs to bring Gouba to the archons above.” Guizhong looked at her father, her tears spilling all over Gouba’s body. “Guizhong, I think you should hand brother to father.” Zhongli said. Guizhong tears slowly to stop, she pushed Gouba away from herself and she looked their father in the eye. “Thank you.” he bowed down to the two, carrying Gouba and took him away. “It’ll be okay, Gouba is with the archons above. He won’t suffer anymore.” Zhongli hugged Guizhong. 


He looked outside the window, rain was pouring down. When did it even start to rain? He looked over at the kitchen table just a few steps away. There was untouched food sitting on the table, waiting to be eaten. It’s a shame it most likely won’t be eaten anytime soon. In the middle of the feast, stood a tall birthday cake. It’s candles yet to be lit. “So this is what has happened. In the end Osail went for the worst option.” Azhdaha stood there, watching as the two hugged each other. She sat down on the floor, the same spot where Gouba used to be. Her face was emotionless and she seemed empty. “Happy birthday, my dear brother. My only brother, Zhongli.” She patted Zhongli on the back, she stood up and cut a piece of the cake. “Here, eat up. It’s your birthday cake.” Zhongli opened his mouth wide, thankfully his face was in the direction of Azhdaha. Letting Guizhong be comforted by his embrace. “Is it good?” She asked. “Yes, it’s delicious.” He said as his mouth was filled with the small bite of cake. 


“Zhongli, if Osail disappeared from this world. How would you feel?” Azhdaha asked. “Why do you ask?” Zhongli replied. “It’s nothing. Guizhong, I'll bring you back into your room.” Azhdaha put the plate of cake down, and she grabbed Guizhong away from Zhongli. She didn’t resist and merely looked at Zhongli in Azhdaha’s arms. Soon Azhdaha and Guizhong were gone, he was all alone in the living room. Zhongli ran to his room, once he was in he locked the door. He started to vomit all over the floor. He was coughing blood, the memories started to flash. The crimson blood was still there, he thought. He got murdered in front of his eyes, he smiled when he died. Was Gouba happy? Was Gouba sad? Was Gouba angry? Was he in pain? Questions without answers. He didn’t know what to feel. He started to break down and cry, his tears spilling onto the vomit from before. He didn’t know what to do. He was just a young boy in pain. 


Stupid sister put something in this cake, didn’t she?

December 31. 11 years ago. Brother's birthday. Brother’s dead. Brother returns. Sister ate. Sister hugged. Mother’s happy. Father smiled.

It was once again Zhongli’s birthday. This time he was 10, Guizhong was 8 and Azhdaha was 20. Osail had yet to come back after 5 years. The three were sitting on the kitchen table, waiting for their parents and the food to arrive. Guizhong was wearing a lilac lolita dress with puff sleeves and a white collar. Her hair was braided but on only one part, the rest of her hair was down letting her long brown hair flow freely.  Zhongli was wearing a white long sleeved shirt along with a back tie. On top of that was a black vest and white long pants. His hair was tied in a ponytail, keeping his hair nice and neat. Azhdaha was wearing black bodycon dress. Covering her neck, arms yet it was short enough to show the majority of her legs. Guizhong was chatting with Zhongli, and Azhdaha was staring into space. “Zhongli, do you want to play with Gouba?” Gouba was Guizhong’s teddy bear. He was a pastel orange in color, a mark on his back and a white oval on his stomach.

Suddenly, there were footsteps coming from above. The mother was wearing a simple, flowy white dress with no sleeves. It was a pure dress, not thought to be extravagant, but would invoke the thought of rabbits on a white spring day. On her head was a purple flower crown, complimenting her lavish dark purple hair. Next to her holding her hand was their father. He was wearing a white button up that looked a little too big for him with matching white pants. It was quite the monochromatic outfit, yet somehow, it still fit him. His orange hair and amber eyes would finish off the boring look. The children didn’t understand why they were dressed like that, but they wouldn’t question. “Hello, my dear children.” The both of them stopped on their tracks as the mother spoke. “I would like to re-welcome your brother, Osail.” Their mother then pointed across the room, Osail was walking into their kitchen. He was wearing a blue suit with a white tie. “Osail!” Azhdaha ran over to the man, she hugged him. The parents sat down, “Take a seat, let’s eat this wonderful feast in joy.” Their father said, suddenly there were people bringing out trays of food. Soon the table that was once empty was filled with multiple delicasies. They ate in silence, only the sound of chewing and cutting was heard. 


Would Gouba smile if he were here too? 


Everyone seemed to be having a good time, there weren’t any complaints, some of them were even smiling. Zhongli eyed everyone around the table, Guizhong was smiling, that was obvious because she always did. Azhdaha seemed to have a slight smile on her face, was she happy because of Osail’s return? Osail seemed to be emotionless. Before, he would smile and was talkative. That all ended after mother took him somewhere. Mother didn’t seem to be surprised, she was peacefully eating calmly. She was just eating like she always was. Their father seemed to be happy, it was the first time Zhongli had seen him smile. When was the last time it was so peaceful?

December 31. Now. Brother's birthday. Brother’s dead. Brother watched. Sister argued. Sister argued. Mother watched. Father argued. 

“Welcome back, Zhongli.” Zhongli’s mother said, since it was his birthday, he would visit his family. You would think it would be warm and welcoming, right? Are you still sure about that? 




A flower vase was thrown across the room, the water spilled underneath the shards of glass. “WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU’VE ARRANGED ZHONGLI TO MARRY SOME WOMAN?” Guizhong screamed at their father. “Yeah, that’s just not right father. Zhongli should marry who he wants.” Azhdaha added. “Zhongli is the perfect man, therefore he needs the perfect bride for him.” Their father argued. Zhongli just looked at the people fighting in the kitchen. “So? What will you do?” His mother said as she looked at him dead in the eye. “I know you’re dating that Harbinger named Tartaglia. I just haven’t told your father yet.” His mother reached to his face, cupping his cheek. “I don’t mind, but it seems your father is against the idea of you having a husband. So what will you do? Break up with the Harbinger and marry some women your father arranged for you.” After she said that she walked back into the crowd. Zhongli could feel himself crumbling apart, what should he do? 


Zhongli's point of view


Someone, please, help me.

I'm just a child.

Help me.

Help me.

Help. Me.

What should I do?

I want to die.

Childe? Where is he?

Gouba, what should I do?




I …

Save me.

I'm drowning.


Everything is black.

Everything feels wrong.

What is wrong?

Am I wrong?

Who is right?

Save me.

Help me.


Help me.


ꪮ᭙𝓳ᠻ𝘬𝘴ᠻ’s point of view

“Zhongli.” Azhdaha was now in front of the man, “Come, you’ve been standing there for a while.” Azhdaha reached out for his hand and dragged him into the house. Thankfully the door closed automatically as the two walked into the fight. “YEAH? WELL, ASK ZHONGLI FOR HIS OPINION ON YOUR STUPID MARRAIGE WITH THAT FUCKING WHORE.” Guizhong stomped upstairs, infuriated that her father had arranged a marriage for her brother. Their mother walked towards Azhdaha and Zhongli. “Zhongli, have you decided yet? If not, then, I suggest you come out to your father as gay, not pansexual or else he will think there is still a chance of you loving that other woman, well, if you’re planning to marry that Tartaglia of yours.” 


“Zhongli, don’t listen to your Guizhong. She’s just a kid and she isn’t in the right state of mind. Ahahaa…” Their father approached the kid, trying to make things go his way. “Uhm, I think you know by now but I have arranged for you to marry a lovely woman.” His father chuckled. Zhongli didn’t know what to say, he was just in shock. He looked over at his mother, she nodded her head in agreement assuming that Zhongli had decided what he wanted to do. “Father, I’m gay.” Zhongli said confidently. “...I see. Then-” 


“Alright, give me my money.” Zhongli’s mother then walked up to her husband, she took a look at Zhongli, and smiled. Zhongli was shocked, “Pfft…” Azhdaha smirked just next to Zhongli. “Oh, are you guys done?” Guizhong quickly ran back downstairs. “That was really entertaining.” Osail added. “What do you mean?” Zhongli asked. “Ah… my poor child. You see, we already knew you were dating that Harbinger. We just wanted to see if you would deceive your father or not. Me and your father even had a bet on if you would lie to him or not.” His mother explained, as his father gave her around 400 thousand mora. “And all of that was just an act, from Guizhong, arguing with your father, and mother letting the decision be yours. Even that lovely woman was a fraud.” Osail explained. “The best thing about this is that Childe planned it all. Funny, isn’t it?” Azhdaha continued. “Childe planned this all?” Zhongli asked in confusion. “Yeah.” A familiar voice hugged him from behind. “Were you surprised?” Childe asked, “Yes, very surprised.” 


“It’s time to pack it up love birds, the PDA is too much. I wanna eat.” Guizhong quickly sat down on her seat. “That sounds like a splendid idea darling.” Their mother also sat down. Soon everyone had been seated down, enjoying the feast on the kitchen table. Once again, multiple delicacies and a tall cake stood there. 


December 31. Now. Zhongli's birthday. Gouba died. Osail ate. Guizhong acted. Azhdaha laughed. Mother convinced. Father lied. Ajax revealed.

Chapter Text

It was finally Zhonglis birthday, it seems a white man had something planned for him. 




zhongli date plan!! 


Childe: @Beidou @Ningguang hey bitches and bros and non binary hoes


Beidou: not the sk8 reference 


Childe: anyway


Childe: wanna go on a double date with me and zhongli for his bday


Ningguang: sure


Beidou: OMG YEAH


Childe: NICE

Private chat with Zhongli


Childe: Hey honey sweetie cutie patootie boo boo bear (^__^)


Childe: Wanna go on a double date with Ningguang and Beidou?


Zhongli: That's a weird name, but sure.


Childe: :D 


Zhongli: :).

December 31st

“Ning Ning, do you think I look good?” Beidou was wearing a purple cropped tank top along with a white cloak, also some black jeans. “I mean yeah you look hot. What about me?” Ningguang was wearing an A-line navy blue dress with fur on the flowy sleeves and long light blue coattails, putting the outfit together with a gold necklace. Her hair was long and straight, unlike usual, it was tied up, the white ashy hair falling into two divided parts. She, instead of wearing her red tassel, wore a blue one between her eyes this time, to match with her outfit. “You’re really pretty, I like the rings on your hands the most.” Beidou kissed Ningguang’s hands. “Of course you do.” Ningguang chuckled. 

Aren’t they just the most elegant gays ever. 

“Childe, how do I look?” Zhongli asked. “Holy fuck, that shirt is disgusting – okay, you know what, I’m dressing you up.” Childe took Zhongli’s shirt off, “What’s wrong with the shirt?” Zhongli asked. “Zhongli, its a black shirt that says fucking best daddy ever. And it’s black.” Childe quickly threw the shirt on the ground and grabbed a few acceptable options from Zhonglis closet. Soon enough Zhongli was wearing a black long sleeved turtle neck along with a cream coat. Surprisingly he was already wearing black pants with the disgusting best daddy shirt. Childe was wearing a dark blue shirt along with some matching black pants. On top of that was a white jacket and for some reason he was wearing bracelets and rings and a choker. “Childe, why are you wearing a choker?” Zhongli looked at Childes choker. “Because I’m into it.” Childe responded. “...” 


And we have the disaster gays. 

Zhongli and Childe finally arrived to the restaurant they booked, it was a five star restaurant called t he Liuli Pavilion. It was mostly known for its luxurious Li-style delicacies, it’s also known because many rich people came and ate there. There were two rich gays paying so it wouldn’t be much of a problem. 


“Table for four?” the waitress asked, “Yes, a table for four.” Beidou smiled at the waitress. “Please follow me.” The waitress quickly got them a room. Inside the room was a big circular table; on the table was a lazy susan, and there was also a familiar lady standing in the room. “Keqing?” Ningguang said, the lady standing there in a waitress uniform was Keqing. “Keqing, what are you doing here?” Zhongli asked, “Isn’t that obvious? I’m working.” Keqing replied. Childe quickly sat down, he turned around to see Keqing. “Holy shit when did you get here?” Childe asked, “Since the fucking beggining. I’m working, so what do you want to order?” Keqing glared at Childe; he cheerfully ignored it. “Almond tofu, bamboo shoot soup, crab roe tofu, fullmoon eggs, cured pork dry hot pot and black-back perch stew.” Ningguang ordered. “Isn’t that like, a little too much food? Plus what we want to order would be a little too much considering there's only four people.” Childe questioned. “Good point, but Beidou eats a lot.”  Ningguang said as she sipped the free tea the Liuli Pavilion gave. “Oh, okay, then I’ll get a universal peace, vegetarian abalone and stone harbor delicacies.” Childe smiled at Keqing. “... Are there any drinks you’d like to order?” Keqing asked. “One suanmeitang (sour plum drink), and osmanthus wine.” Zhongli replied. After that Keqing left the room to do other things as a waitress, “Who knew Keqing would have a part time job as a waitress.” Zhongli said. “True, I never thought that she’d be one.” Childe commented, “Enough about Keqing, let’s talk about something else.” 

“And that’s when I said, Scaramouche, you have a praise kink?? I WAS SO SURPRISED.” Childe said. “DAMN A PRAISE KINK? NEVER THOUGHT THAT HE WOULD HAVE ONE.” Beidou laughed. “EXACTLY – like, Scaramouche? Praise kink? THOSE DON'T SOUND COMPATIBLE!” Childe joked. “Oh, archons, I wonder what Kazuha would do if he had that information.” Beidou thought aloud. “Damn, sounds like something he would like!” Childe giggled. “Speaking of Kazuha, last time he and I went on my family ship. It was fun, next time we should go together.” Beidou said. “Sounds like a plan!” Childe responded. The room was loud, warm and welcoming. Everyone was having a good time, Beidou and Childe were becoming great friends, while Ningguang and Zhongli ate their food and quietly had small chats and listened in on the two’s chat. Sometimes joining in on their conversation. Soon time passed by and their food was gone. They got their bill and went their separate ways. 


“Did you know those stars are actually really far away from each other. They just seem close because we’re so far away.” Childe asked, as he looked up at the dark night sky. The stars shone so brightly, “When did you know that?” Zhongli intertwined their hands. They were walking back to the dormitory. “Who knows,” Childe smiled warmly at Zhongli, the Christmas decorations lit up the place and shops upon shops had the words Merry Christmas on their billboards. “Zhongli, wait here!” Childe quickly ran off into one of the jewellery shops, leaving Zhongli curious as to what came next. Soon enough Childe was outside running towards Zhongli with a bag in his hand. He took the things out of the bag, he had bought matching rings for the two of them. 


“Happy birthday!” 

Chapter Text

“Shall we get started?” 


Suddenly, she heard something from beneath her feet. She looked down; she saw someone beneath her. It was a male that looked like they were in their 50’s. He looked tired, he wasn’t panicking like Sucrose, he was just still. Still like a doll unless moved by something else. “Sucrose, are you looking for something?” Next to the man was Venti. He was wearing a white monochromatic outfit with a crop top and shorts with golden accents. Long gloves and socks with glowing teal gems. To finish off the look, the ends of his hair were a bright teal, shining brightly like the sun. No one could deny it, he was beautiful. “Sucrose, are you watching?” The god called out to her. “I want you to watch what I’m doing.” Venti looked up at her, “Don’t worry, you’re wearing shorts.” Sucrose blushed at the comment. At least they knew that she needed coverage in certain areas. But didn’t that mean they needed to put it on her before? She blushed again. “Don’t worry, a girl put those pants on you.” Barbatos chuckled. Sucrose was relieved.  


“Sucrose, I’ve been thinking. How about you make a move already?” Barbatos smirked. Sucrose blankly stared at him. “We know what you’re doing. It’s just, we have yet to kill you off like your two friends.” Barbatos was hugging the man, he didn’t move an inch. “What were they called again... Ah! Fructose and Glucose.” Barbatos looked up at her dead in the eye. “How do you know that?” Sucrose said. Her tone was fearful, she could feel the danger yet to come. The air felt heavy, her sense of relief was disappearing. 


Just like her friends. 


“Oh? Did I hit a sensitive topic?” Barbatos mocked. Sucrose didn’t know what to say. She was tied up high and could easily die from a fall. She didn’t dare to talk back. “Tch, you're so boring.” Barbatos kicked the middle aged man making him fall to the ground. Yet again, no reaction. “See this guy? His name is Roger. He cheated on his wife and later raping his step son. After that, he became a drug addict. A total buffoon.” Barbatos slowly ripped one of his nails off. “STOP WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING GET AWAY FROM ME!” The man screamed. This was a big shock to Sucrose, after all she thought he was dead. “Oh. You woke up.” Barbatos said. His nails were ripped off, the blood flowed out of the man slowly. Even though Sucrose was tied up high, she could still see the man's blood coming out of his ‘nail’. “ahahahahAHAHAHHAHHHHA FUCK WHERE ARE YOUR SCREAMS? AHAHHAHAHAHAHAA IVE NEVER SEEN SUCH FUCKING BULLSHIT BEFORE AHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHHAA” Barbatos started to laugh like a maniac. Sucrose was shocked. How could a god be this... cruel? Even to a non-believer it was just too much. If Barbara was here... she’d probably cry. “YOU SEE THAT, RAIDEN? THE BLOOD. IT’S SO FUCKING RED HAHAHHAHAHAHA” Barbatos then showed the man's hand to the Electro archon. Or that’s what Sucrose assumed she was. “Yes. I see it very clearly.” She responded. “However, you aren’t supposed to show me. You’re supposed to show her.” Raiden then pointed at Sucrose. “Oh. You’re right.” Barbatos took the man and flew up. “See this? It’s so pretty. Isn’t it?” Barbatos asked. “... SAY IT’S PRETTY YOU WENCH!” Barbatos slapped Sucrose in the face. “Oi, little shit you aren’t supposed to hurt the girl. Her orders.” Murata shouted. “Fuck you too, I guess.”  Barbatos flew down. He placed the man back on the floor, “Sucrose! Watch this!” Barbatos got a couple of pencils out of nowhere. He stabbed the man with all of them. There seemed to be around 70-130 pencils, they were all sharpened like small knives. “MOTHER FUCKER GET AWAY FROM ME!” The man tried to push Barbatos away, but Lesser Lord Kusanali tied his wrist and legs using the power of dendro. “Hmp! Just stay still already.” Barbatos whined. “What next… What next...” Barbatos scanned the man's body, “Oh! I know, Murata, come over here!” Barbatos waved at her. “You’re supposed to do this alone, useless bard.” Murata objected. “Wow, what a fucking whore.” Barbatos whined as he ate a small crystal. “Since you won’t come here, I’ll just steal Morax’s power for a bit!” The crystal shone brightly in Barabtos’ mouth. Sucrose could hear it was somewhat crunchy, the crunch was loud and you could hear it from far away. Suddenly one of Barbatos’ eyes turned a bright amber as he digested the bright crystal. Barbatos then took off all of the man's clothes, he was butt naked, and you know what that means right? His private part was showing. 



“How the fuck did he get two kids with such a small dick?” Sucrose blurted out. “Yeah, I wonder that too.” Barbatos replied. “For real, it’s so small I could cry.” Kusanali continued. “Wait, did I say that out loud…?” Sucrose asked. “Yes, you did.” Morax chuckled. “Sorry, but it’s true…” Sucrose said.  “Well, we all agree with you so it really isn’t a problem…” Tsaritsa commented. “Are you guys serious right now?” The man grumbled. “Anyway.” Barbatos used the power of anemo to make this wind weapon. It was almost invisble and the fucker stabbed him but somehow he didn’t die. “AGH-” 


“Can you like, shut the fuck up?” Barbatos ripped his vocal chords out, “There you go! Now we don’t have to listen to your disgusting screeching!” Barbatos smiled at the man, it was dead silent and his screeching couldn’t be heard anymore. He seemed to be crying. Sucrose was horrified at the sight, they were just joking about his dick earlier and in less than a minute the room started to feel heavy. The archons were really cruel, so cruel she felt like vomiting. “Now for the finishing touch!” Suddenly the tips of Barbatos’ hair went from a bright teal to a glowing amber. Similar to the Geo archon's hair.

“Contractus ad Morax”


Sucrose recognized these words, before she had come across a book that taught latin. Out of curiosity, she looked inside and learned the latin language. In the book it said, “Archons originally all spoke in Latin, but after time passed they switched into the common tongue.” She remembered well enough. It seems that statement was true, but who had written that book long ago and how did they know that? Well, that will be important another time. What Barbatos simply said was “Contract to Morax.” Considering Morax was the god of contracts, that seemed understandable. Suddenly, the man started to have geo marks all over his body, all glowing brightly in the room. Sucrose thought that if his vocal cords weren’t ripped out, maybe he could scream and screech for it to stop. “Did you know, Sucrose? This is exactly how Fructose died.” 




“Oops, did I hit a nerve?” Barbatos giggled at her. “Why do you know that?” Sucrose said. “Isn’t it obvious? We killed them. We killed both of them.” Barbatos said confidently. It was almost scary how he just admitted he killed two people. “Why?” Sucrose asked, she could feel her blood start to boil but she was afraid to express her anger. Because her fear had overshadowed that feeling. “Then, let me show you a video, a video of the past.” 



Barbatos showed a video of the three girls walking, it was the same as that day. That cold winter day in November. Fructose stretched her arms out, and the same as Sucrose remembered, she was grabbed by something. “LET ME GO YOU BASTARD!” Fructose yelled, but she had been dragged away so fast that soon they couldn’t pinpoint her location. Her screams stopped, the two couldn’t hear her anymore. It was just, silent. But then Glucose got dragged away as well, her last words were “SUCROSE RUN AS FAST AS YOU CAN! FORGET ABOUT ME AND FRUCTOSE!” She screamed and after that she wasn’t heard anymore. Sucrose ran away, but then the video somehow teleported to somewhere else. The camera showed Fructose, Glucose, Zhongli and Venti. Fructose was tied up and her mouth was covered so that no one could hear her screams. Well, not like she could scream anymore because her vocal chords got ripped out. Next to Fructose was Glucose, she was tied up onto the wall. Soon geo signs on Fructoses legs started to light up, it’s safe to assume there were other marks on her being lit up but her clothes weren’t off so… Anyway, Glucose on the other hand was tied up, only her legs were shown in the video, but you could see that she had already died. Blood was dripping down. There was a puddle beneath her, the red liquid spoiled down her like water. Soon enough, Fructose was dead too. Her skin became rock, no her entire existence was just a rock. Her blood was stone, and her body was still. Then the video ended. Sucrose was terrified, why did her friends have to suffer such a cruel death? She would’ve just preferred if they died by a knife but they died slowly and painfully. “Did you like that? Oh! You’re crying. Let me wipe those tears for you.” Barbatos carefully wiped Sucroses' tears away, but the more he wiped the more tears she shed. Sucrose took a glance at the man from before, he was also still as stone. But suddenly the room turned dark. She was falling down, she didn’t know what was happening. She was just shocked. Shocked from what she had witnessed. She seemed to be endlessly falling down. Until she splat to the ground, but she didn’t die. She was just laying there. “Sucrose?” a familiar voice came from her side. It was Glucose, her pastel pink hair faded to a light blue, tied up in pigtails. They brushed onto Sucrose as she stood up. She climbed on top of Sucrose, she laid onto Sucrose hugging her. She went close to Sucroses ear, “You’re the reason me and Fructose died.” 


“So will you do us a favor?”


“Tell your group to hurry up with the plan.”


“Kill the archons. Well, attempt to kill them already.” 


“Then I’ll love you again.” 



Sucrose woke up, “Sucrose? Are you awake?” Eula knocked on Sucroses door. “Y-yes I’m awake.” 

Chapter Text

Private chat with Ayaka













10 minutes later…


“OH MY GOD, MY SAVIOR!” Ayato hugged Ayaka, “I SWEAR TO GOD, YOU LITERALLY PLAY CUPID WITH OTHER PEOPLE! HOW CAN YOU NOT ASK A WORKER WHERE SEAGRASS IS?!?” Ayaka hit his head, playfully. “Hmp! Let’s just go and finish this trip.” 


“Okay so, you want us to get out of our dorm because you want to hang out with Thoma in this dorm?” Gorou asked. “Yep! Exactly that!” Ayato smiled at his three roommates. “Can’t you like, get a private estate or some shit? Like, aren’t you rich?” Scaramouche said. “I mean… yeah, I could but, that’s boring!” Ayato smiled. “There’s no point talking him out, let’s stay over at Kokomi’s or something.” Gorou sighed. “Then, Kazuha and I will stay with my sister’s while you stay at Kokomi’s?” Scaramouche asked. “Yeah, I guess? Wait– sister’s?” Gorou looked at Scaramouche in shock. “Sister’s, meaning Yae and Ei. He thinks Yae will marry Ei, and since Ei is his sister, Yae will also become his sister.” Kazuha laughed. “Exactly, they give off energy that they will get married, therefore, I get another sister.” 


(so does anyone wanna see the marriage chapter…)

Private chat with Thoma




Ayato: come to my dorm in 4 hours ;)


Thoma: i 


Thoma: ok 


Thoma: but why






Thoma: OKAY IG

3 hours and 45 minutes later…


“How the fuck–” Ayato sweared. The kitchen was, well, something else. It was messy and the food looked like it was barely edible… He was making unagi chazuke. The tea, well, that was fine as well because it’s tea. The unagi didn’t look as good as the tea did. The eel was disappointing; it wasn’t even edible. It was so bad that even Ayato wouldn’t feed this to his roommates. He was in a sudden panic, he didn’t prepare anything other than chazuke, ingredients wise. Suddenly, the doorbell rang, Ayato quickly ran towards the door and opened it. “Hi, Ayato!” Thoma waved at the man cheerfully, “O–oh hi!” Ayato smiled. “You seem worried, is everything alright?” Thoma asked. “I– uh, I guess?” Ayato laughed, “Okay, then I’ll come inside.” Thoma smiled, it was a good look on him.

Was Ayato panicking? Yes. Is he going to do a damn thing about it? No, because he can’t. You know, it’s really funny seeing this grand clan leader fail at making unagi…


“Ayato… did you try to cook for us?” Thoma looked at the horrendous unagi. “Well, yeah. But as you can see, I failed.” Ayato laughed as he waved his hands in the air in a guilty manner. “You know what, let’s just get some groceries; I’ll cook.” Thoma sighed. 

“Sorry Thoma, I tried to make something, but I guess you’re making it instead.” Ayato turned the TV on. “What are you watching?” 


“Fifty shades series.”


Thoma quickly turned around, “EXCUSE ME?!?” Thoma shouted. “Oh! You know it? People said it had a lot of BDSM. So, I thought, ‘Why not watch it?’” Ayato signed into his NETFLIX account. “Y–yeah, but I really don’t want to hear some actress moaning as I cook…” Thoma said. “Then we can recreate the sc-”




40 minutes later… 


“The unagi is done, we’re eating unagi chazuke.” Soon the unagi was done, Thoma had made a very delicious looking unagi chazuke. Much better than a certain someone. “Damn, it looks good.” Ayato said. “I know it does.” 


“Oh! Also, here.” Ayato gave Thoma a big box, the box was wrapped in black for some reason. “What’s this?” Thoma asked, “Open it and find out.” Ayato replied. Thoma opened the box, only to find pink lingerie. 


“...Ayato, you sick pervert.”


“You know you love me though.”

Chapter Text

Q&A because fruity pruity hit chapter 50 !!! (these are all my questions id ask as a reader because no one asked me anything so ehe damn that sounds so pathetic)


Question: why did you decide to make two fanfics

Answer: look i have something called an angst brain i produce angst like everyday some people probably came for the fluff and crack because originally this was supposed to be just fluff fluff fluff and i wanted to change that so to make it up for the people who wanted fluff and stuff i made another fic :D generous aren’t i


Question: why did you decide to write

Answer: ok so it all starts with this smut fic i read of chili, that's when i started to dig deep into ao3 and found chat fics and they were really funny and i wanted to make my own and yeah i started writing this was my first fanfic and i really liked it i didn’t expect it to get so much attention even my friends are finding my fanfic when they scroll through tags… which is concerning to me…


Question: do you have any other fanfics

Answer: i used to have this xingyun squid game au but i decided to delete it because i didn’t like squid game anymore and couldn’t find myself writing so yeah :D there's also this one fanfic which i wouldn’t really call it fanfic but basically it was for school and i posted it onto ao3… i deleted it 10 minutes after it was released out of embarrassment.


Question: why is it called fruity pruity/huity

Answer: ok so when i was making this fanfic i was watching fruits basket and i was going to call it “fruity baskets” but it was so similar to fruits basket so. i came up with fruity pruity because idk it rhymed and then after when fruity huity was released i just picked a random letter that also rhymes with fruity. im a genius aren't i, ok but thats really all there is to it the title has no meaning or anything. ok i might actually find a way to link the title to the fanfic but yeah thats up to me to think abt


Question: are you lgbt

Answer: yeah im genderfluid and omnisexual #cool


ok i think thats it ?? idrk what else people would ask me that wouldn’t give personal info (like my age) so yeah bye ig B)

Chapter Text

“Dionaaa, wake up!!!” Diona woke up to the sound of Klee’s voice, this was Diona’s daily routine. “Good morning, Klee,” Diona said, as she slowly went out of her bed. She wanted to sleep just a bit more. “I’m gonna go to my dad so I can’t hang out with you today.” Diona tiredly put a fancy dress on. She was going to meet her father again, it had been some time since they last saw each other so Diona was quite happy. “Klee, do I look good?” Diona asked, “Yes! Diona always looks good!” Klee quickly replied. “...Well, your answer won’t change no matter what I wear but thank you.” 


“Diona, are you sure you can get there by yourself?” Ganyu asked, Diona always thought Ganyu worried too much about the kids. They weren’t even siblings, but still having a sister figure was nice. One time Diona had forgotten her books, instead of calling Kaeya or Diluc she called Ganyu instead. After that incident Diona swore to not rely on Ganyu too much. “I’ll be fine, you should worry about the others.” 


Diona quickly ran out the door, she wanted to see her father as soon as possible. How long was it since she saw his face? Soon enough she had safetly reached her dad's place. She rang the doorbell, “It’s me, Diona!” The door slowly opened to reveal her dad. “Ngh… Diona? What are you doing here?” Draff said. “It’s my birthday today! Surely you must remember right?” Diona smiled. “Whose birthday…?” Draff asked. 





“My birthday, of course.” Diona grumbled. She didn’t know what to say. She didn’t want to believe her father had forgotten her birthday. “O-oh! Aha, happy birthday my dear.” Draff awkwardly smiled. “You forgot didn’t you?” Diona complained, “You know what, fuck you.” Diona slammed the door and quickly ran away. She didn’t know what to think, her father forgot her own birthday. She didn’t even know where she was going; she just ran. Ran. Ran. She just kept running, she didn’t even check if her father was chasing her at all. She hoped he wasn’t in her mind but deep down she wanted him to be chasing her, to apologize, to spend her birthday together with cakes and lights and presents. 


He doesn’t.


Soon enough, she stopped running. She looked around, she didn’t recognize any of the buildings. She was lost, she honestly didn’t know what to do. She was just lost. Not only was her mind lost, she was actually lost. Quickly, she took her tablet out, she called Diluc. “Hello? Diluc, can you pick me up? I, uhm… got lost…” Diona mumbled as her eyes filled with tears slightly. She wiped them away with the back of her hand. “Sure, but aren’t you going to your dad's house?” Diluc asked. “I — I’ll explain later for now just pick me up.” 


17 minutes later…


“Get in.” Diluc said. Diona opened the car door and went inside. “So? What happened?” Diluc queried. “Well, dad forgot my birthday and then I ran away. I — I don’t know, it's just — I WAS JUST ANGRY, OKAY!” Diona began to sob. “That’s what happened… God, that Draff.” Diluc mumbled. “You know what, how about me and your friends go out and eat instead, sounds good?” Diluc suggested. “With Klee and Albedo.”

Private chat with Albedo


Diluc: @Albedo you there or what


Albedo: what


Diluc: diona and i invite u and klee to go and eat with us


Albedo: sure but why


Diluc: dionas bday ill explain the situation later


Albedo: alright ig

30 minutes later… 


Diona and Diluc were sitting inside the restaurant waiting for everyone. They had arrived 10 minutes earlier, it was awkward but Diona seemed somewhat happy. Diluc got a phone call from Draff, he picked it up. “Hello. Diona? She’s with me at the moment. Uhm, about that I feel like it would be a better idea if Diona stayed with me. Yeah, next time remember your daughter's birthday.” Diluc hanged up. Just in time, Klee and Albedo had arrived. “Hey Diona! Wanna play with dodoco?” Klee sat next to Diona while Diluc sat next to Albedo. “…What happened?” Albedo asked with a low voice, he didn’t want the kids to overhear their conversation. “Well, to put it simply, Draff forgot about Diona’s birthday and then she ran away and got lost. After that she asked me to pick her up and then here we are.” Diluc explained. Albedo seemed shocked at Diluc’s words, how could a father forget her own daughter's birthday? Almost unbelievable to Albedo. He looked over at Diona, he had noticed that Diona had puffy eyes. That’s when she knew she had cried. “I see… you’re doing this to make her feel better, right?” Albedo concluded. “Yeah, I guess you know about my father because of Kaeya but… oh well.” 


“Diluc! Diluc! I have a question, since Albedo and Kaeya are in love, does that mean we are brother and sister?” Klee asked. Immediately Albedo's face turned a bright red, “Klee!” Albedo screamed, obviously flustered. “Now you know why I asked you guys specifically.” Diluc laughed.


You know what, maybe my 11th birthday isn’t so bad afterall…

Chapter Text

Alone. I’ve always been so alone. I wished I had someone to lean on, but I was too scared to ask.

“Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you! Happy birthday happy birthday happy birthday to you!!” Some groups in the same restaurant as Rosaria were singing happy birthday to their friend. Rosaria was hanging out at Dilucs tavern, she was drinking for her birthday. She never really celebrated her birthday with people, but hey she would get drunk so she could forget.

16 years ago.

“DON’T TOUCH ME.” Rosaria screamed at the bandits, “Hey you sure we should take her away? Annoying brat we might as well just kill her like the others.” One of the bandits suggested. “Get her unconscious, we can put her to good use.” The boss bandit told the rest and they immediately made her unconscious.

13 years ago.

“Alright kid, this is how you pack a punch.” The bandit punched the air, one of his fists near his face like he was coughing. Rosaria imitated his moves, “Oh that’s actually pretty good. Okay this time do it again but punch me.” The bandit walked in front of Rosaria and stood still. Rosaria quickly punched him in the stomach, “Oh damn that hurt, that was a good punch kid.” He patted her on the back, smiling.

11 years ago.

“Kill them now.” a tall man came in with a gang of people who looked like knights. They slaughtered each and every one of the bandits. “Grand Master Varka, what is a kid doing here?” One of the knights dragged Rosaria outside so she could face him. “A child? That’s surprising.” Grand Master Varka kneeled down to see Rosaria. He could see she was shivering and hungry, she was so skinny you could almost see her bones. “Why don’t we bring her in with us.” Grand Master Varka smiled at her, she didn’t smile back. “Before that we should probably feed her something and get her new clothes. She’s so skinny like a stick.” One of the female knights suggested. “Sounds like a splendid idea.”

Grand Master Varka and Rosaria went into the mall. The rest of the knights had left before them leaving the two alone. “What’s your name?” He questioned. He was quite curious as to what Rosaria was doing there. “Rosaria.” She replied, her tone was really crunchy. “Do you want to get new clothes or food first?” Grand Master Varka looked over at the girl. After 5 minutes she finally answered, “Food.” She looked at him with her lifeless eyes, he felt like a doll was looking at him. “Food it is.”

Grand Master Varka brought Rosaria into an Inazuman restaurant, she didn’t want to order anything so they left and went to a Mondstadt restaurant. She wanted to eat. “Two breakfast sandwiches and one Barbatos Ratatouille.” Grand Master Varka ordered for Rosaria and himself. A few minutes later their food arrived, Rosaria eyed her breakfast sandwich and took a bite from it. She felt like she had just been fed one of the most delicious, fantastic and greatest pieces of bread in the world. She wolfed the breakfast sandwich down, this caused Grand Master Varka to be surprised. He just smiled at her and ate his breakfast sandwich watching as the girl could finally act like a child after so many years of suffering.



“Rosaria, you want some food?” Diluc asked the drunk girl, “Two breakfast sandwiches and one Barbatos Ratatouille…” Rosaria whispered. “Honestly I don’t even know why you order that much but alright.”

Chapter Text

“So will you do us a favor?”


“Tell your group to hurry up with the plan.”


“Kill the archons. Well, attempt to kill them already.” 


“Then I’ll love you again.” 



Sucrose woke up, “Sucrose? Are you awake?” Eula knocked on Sucrose's door. “Y-yes I’m awake.”  


Sucrose quickly changed her clothes and ate her breakfast. She quickly walked to her class, trying to avoid someone .


“Sucrose, are you okay? You seem to be zoning out a lot.” Albedo asked the poor girl. Albedo, the twins and Sucrose were in the student council room. Kaeya was sick today and needed to see the doctor, Dainsleif went boom shakalaka. “O-oh well yes I’m okay it’s just…” Sucrose didn’t know what to say. She remembered her friend's words loud and clear but was that really her friend? Her face, body, even her voice was the same, it's just… she didn’t seem like the same person. “Uhm… last night I had a dream where Barbatos was well… how do I explain this.” Sucrose mumbled. “Take your time.” Albedo said. “Well, I was there hanging onto this wall? Basically like I was attached to a roof and then at first I was just hanging there and then I saw all the archons and this random guy. After that Barbatos started to torture him but then after…” Sucroses memories started to flash, she remembered that traumatic experience. “After? What happened after?” Albedo asked. “T-they showed me a video of Fructose d-dying a-and uhm they said that they k-killed her and…” Sucrose began to sob, her eyes started to water like a waterfall. “Ah! Sucrose are you okay? What happened?” Aether quickly ran from across the student council room. “I-it’s just…” Sucrose cried, “Breathe in… breathe out. Concentrate your mind.” Albedo tried to calm her down, honestly that didn’t really work well but yeah E for effort. “Sucrose, if you aren’t ready then you don’t have to talk about it. We can always wait until you’re comfortable.” Lumine hugged Sucrose trying to comfort her in some way. “So, we’ll be waiting for your answer.” Lumine's voice was soothing. “Okay.” 



“Hey little miss Lisa.” Kaeya was meeting with Lisa in a café nearby. “Aha, it seems some things never change.” Lisa laughed. “So? What would you like to talk about?” Lisa questioned. She placed her tea on the table waiting for Kaeyas answer. Kaeya simply looked her in the eyes and said, “It has something to do with Celestia.” Lisa noticed that Kaeya was getting serious for once. “Oh my, are you sure this is the best place to talk about Celestia? Customers, waiters and waitresses could be listening to us.” Lisa mentioned. Her voice was concerned, it had been a long time since she talked about Celestia. Also the first time she talked to Kaeya about this subject. “No, it’s perfectly fine.” Kaeya assured, still this made Lisa even more suspicious. “I’ll just get straight to the point. Yesterday night Sucrose had a dream where she was up in Celestia with all the archons and there was this man I think named Roger? Barbatos tortured the man and made Sucrose watch but then after that they made her watch a video of two of her friends dying. These friends were pretty much Sucrose's' will to live. But anyway, after that Barbatos pretended to be one of Sucrose's friends and told her to try and murder the archons.” Kaeya claimed. “You don’t seem to be lying. So? How do you know about this information?” Lisa interrogated. She could believe the fact Barbatos tortured someone, but this was Sucrose’s dream. She would understand if this was Albedo but Sucrose? Sounds like bullshit. “To put it simply, Venti told me.”


“Venti? Why would he tell you that? Isn’t he under the rule of Barbatos?” Lisa felt even more confused than ever before. “When I asked him he just told me to use this information. And then left before I could get more of an answer.” Kaeya shrugged. “Whatever, so what are you asking me to do?” Lisa asked. Lisa felt like strangling someone right now, but not Kaeya. She just wanted to murder someone. “I want you to get all the information on how the man was tortured.” Kaeya requested. He smiled at Lisa just after saying his request. “Oh lord, there’s just so much knowledge I can get. Alright then, you transfer 1 million mora into my bank account and I will do it.” 


“Man you do like to take money do you? Transferred.” Lisa checked her phone, the one million was sent per-usual. “Thank you, I guess for now we should return to school?” Lisa assumed, she seemed pleased. “Actually, I told Dain and Albedo about it earlier and requested a day off for the both of us. So you don’t have to worry about that right now.”


“Oh, what a smart one you are.” Lisa chuckled as she left the café, leaving Kaeya sipping his coffee. 



“It seems I’ll have to get a little astrologist for this job don’t I?” Lisa smirked as she scrolled through her contacts. 


Mona Megistus

Chapter Text

Private chat with Xiao

Xiao: venti i think we should break up

Venti: what?

Venti: what do you mean by that

Venti: XIAO??



“FUCK.” Venti threw his phone onto his bed, he ran outside his room and banged on Xiao’s door. “XIAO GET OUT WHAT WAS THAT TEXT ABOUT??” Venti screamed from outside. “Venti what the hell are you doing it’s like 1 am.” Thoma was outside of his room, getting a glass of water. “Trying to get Xiao to come out of his room but he won’t get out…” Venti mumbled. “Why don’t we just get Childe to break the door?” Thoma suggested. “That’s actually a pretty good idea.” Venti smiled. “CHILDE MCMUFFIN GET THE FUCK OUT HERE!” Venti screamed. “WHAT?!? I’M TRYING TO DO MY SKIN CARE.” Childe burst out his door, with a face mask on. “HOLY SHIT YOU LOOK SO STUPID AHAHAHAHAHAHA.” Venti screamed and laughed at Childe. “OH SHUT UP YOU FUCKER, NOW WHAT DO YOU WANT.” Childe yelled at Venti. “SHRED XIAO’S DOOR WIDE OPEN HE ISN’T OPENING THE DOOR!”

At that moment Childe rushed towards the door and broke it. “Yahoo! We made it!” Venti quickly went inside the room to be welcomed with no one there. The window was wide open letting the cold air into Xiao’s room. “The fuck, where’d he go now.” Thoma looked inside Xiao’s room. Venti unlocked his phone and looked at the text message Xiao sent him. He started shaking, it might have been serious. “Oh fuck…” Venti scrolled through his contacts.

“G-ganyu? I- uhm is Xiao over at your place.” Venti mumbled. “Xiao? No, I haven't heard from him since yesterday.” Ganyu replied. “Is something wrong?” Ganyu added. “Ah- no nothing’s wrong, just he isn’t in his room so I thought he might’ve gone to your place.” Venti laughed. “Uhm, I’ll hang up now.” Venti hung up on Ganyu. “Shit did I do something wrong?”


“Xiao, why are you hiding from Venti?” Ganyu asked. Xiao had ran away to Ganyu’s place, “Boyfriend troubles?” Keqing questioned. The two seemed quite worried, why the fuck did Xiao have to hide from Venti. “Uh I kinda broke up with him.”

“YOU WHAT?!?” The two screamed, almost in sync. “H-huh? I thought you guys were in love. You guys were going on dates every weekend!” Ganyu questioned. Both girls were shocked as ever. “He just… ugh I-”

“YOU BROKE UP WITH VENTI?!?” A screech came from the kitchen. It was Diona, “Diona what are you doing go back to sleep.” Keqing said. “OH HELL NO I NEED ANSWERS. WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU BROKE UP WITH VENTI?!”

“Xiao… don’t like Venti anymore?” Qiqi was also next to Diona, just hiding apparently. “When did you come here?” Xiao asked. “Since we heard you say you broke up with Venti, we didn’t hear any of the stuff before.” Diona answered. “Man all I wanted was some water and then I hear this?” Diona huffed. Qiqi seemed to want to know why he broke up with Venti too. Her eyes were looking straight at Xiao like a puppy. “It’s a long story, but still you kids don’t need to know about love and dating. Not yet.” Xiao crossed his arms and gave Diona a death glare. “OH YOU- I KNOW EVERYTHING ABOUT LOVE. I EVEN KNOW ABOUT THOSE GAY PEOPLE well I only know that because Kaeya and Albedo are dating BUT STILL. I HAVE EVERY RIGHT TO KNOW THE HELL IS GOING ON HERE.” Diona seemed like she hadn’t given up yet. “Just give up kid, I won’t be telling you jack shit.” Xiao declared. “X-xiao!!” Ganyu panicked. “Yeah well I won’t give up until you tell me your shit then.” Diona and Xiao were clearly fighting. Qiqi walked in the middle of the two, “Everyone, Calm… quiet… peace.” Qiqi said. She was trying to make them stop fighting. “Hmp! If you won’t tell me I’ll just get it out of Venti!” Diona rushed to the door and put her shoes on. “Ah!! D-diona, where are you going? It's too late in the night to go out.” Ganyu rushed towards her, only to find Qiqi joining in too. “Qiqi go get my phone, we gotta know where we are once we get back here.” Diona requested. Qiqi nodded and rushed to get Dionas room. “Oi kid, are you fucking stupid?” Xiao grabbed Diona and carried her in his arms. “OH HELL NO.” Diona scratched Xiao’s arm, for some reason her nails were sharp enough to get him to bleed. He dropped her onto the floor, she landed onto her ass. By the time this all happened Qiqi had Diona’s phone in her hand, she also had a bag with her. Probably with water and her own tablet. Diona rushed to the door, dragging Qiqi out too. “X-xiao you’re bleeding!” Ganyu ran towards Xiao. “Isn’t Venti’s dorm in front of ours? Knowing Diona she’ll ask Diluc where Venti is and knowing Diluc he’ll know where Venti stays. And since we’re next to each other basically wouldn’t they be safe?” Keqing said. “... So you’re telling me I got injured for nothing?”


Private chat with Diluc

Diona: diluc do you know which dorm venti is staying in

Diluc: why

Diona: i gotta ask him some questions

Diluc: alright i guess its dorm 22

Diona: thanks


“Venti’s dorm is literally in front of us, we didn't need all this stuff…” Diona said. “Oh well, it doesn't matter now.” Diona rang on the doorbell. Childe opened the door, “Oh? What are you guys doing here?” Childe asked. “We’re here to interrogate Venti.” Diona said. “Uhm, Venti isn’t well right now, how about tomorrow?” Childe laughed. “No. I need him now.” Diona crossed her arms and gave Childe a dirty look. “Come in young lady.” Childe gave Diona his best smile, like a butler… “WE’RE HERE TO SEE MISTER VENTI.” Diona screamed. “MY GOD WHAT DO YOU WANT?!?” Venti screamed back. “Holy he sounds really bad.” Diona mumbled. Hearing Venti’s voice, Qiqi tried to open the door Venti was in, however it was locked. “Door, locked. We go in the window.” Qiqi suggested, “Hm… yeah best idea right now we go through his room through the window.” Diona and Qiqi ran outside and looked around to find something to climb. “K-KID THAT’S DANGEROUS.” Childe screamed at them. “PLUS, I COULD JUST BREAK ANOTHER DOOR!!” Childe suggested it was a bad idea but hey at least it was safer than climbing and getting in through the window. “WE DON’T NEED THAT.”

After 5 minutes, the two were actually opening Venti’s window door. “Holy tsaritsa they actually did it…” Childe whispered. “HOW THE FUCK-” As Venti said that, Diona succesfuly opened Venti’s window. “Hello Venti, sorry for the disturbance but I need answers.” Diona bowed down. When Diona looked up, he saw Venti had puffy eyes from crying, his braids were all messed up and his room was a mess. “The hell happened here…” Diona questioned. “G-GET OUT I DON’T KNOW HOW THE HELL YOU EVEN WENT IN LIKE THAT MY GOD I WOULD PREFER IF MY DOOR GOT BROKEN J-JUST GET OUT ALREADY…” Venti screamed, he seemed to be panicking. “You moron, you're super messed up right now. And I won’t be leaving until I know why the fuck you and Xiao broke up.” Diona crossed her arms and gave Venti a death glare, Qiqi tried to copy her. “Ugh… I don’t know either. He just sent me a text message and then blocked me AND NOW HE’S GONE AND I DON’T KNOW WHAT TO DO.” Venti screamed into his pillow while crying. “Oh he’s in my dorm, that’s how I found out.”

“HE’S IN YOUR DORM? DON’T YOU LIVE WITH GANYU?” Venti questioned. “Yeah I do.” Diona answered, Qiqi also nodded. “Hell, so she was lying…” Venti threw a pillow out of frustration. “Oh well, it’s Ganyu. She probably hid him for a good reason.” Venti smiled. “Well since we both don’t know we gotta ask Xiao right? Well I already asked him but maybe if you ask him he’ll say something.” Diona said. “Huh? He didn’t tell you why?” Venti questioned. He looked super surprised for some reason. “Yeah, he said I was too young for love and that I didn’t need to know.” Diona complained. “Venti, get out of bed… we ask Xiao why.” Qiqi grabbed Venti and tried to pull him out of bed. “Alright alright, we’ll go and ask him together.”


Venti, Qiqi and Diona all walked across the street to Diona’s dorm. “DING DONG BING BONG.” Venti rang the doorbell. Keqing opened the door, “Venti? Oh you’re bringing the kids back right.” Keqing assumed. “Well not exactly, I’m here for Xiao and that.” Venti laughed. “So the kids told you?” Keqing asked. “Yeah, we need to know.” Diona snickered. “Whatever, come in.”

“A-ah! Vent w-what are you doing here?” Ganyu rushed towards Venti, “I’m here to speak to Xiao what else.” Venti crossed his arms and glared at Ganyu, Diona and Qiqi copied him. “Xiao isn’t here…” Ganyu panicked. “Ganyu, give it up. Diona and Qiqi already told Venti that he was here, plus Venti has the right to know what the hell happened here.” Keqing claimed. The two looked at each other, Keqing’s eyes were determined while Ganyu seemed to have given up. “Alright… yes he’s here. He’s on the second floor and if you turn to the right you’ll see what room he’s in.” Ganyu smiled. She was relieved that the problem was slowly getting resolved.

“IN WE GO!” Venti opened the door to find a bandaged Xiao. “Venti? Huh w-what are you doing here?” Xiao panicked. He was sitting on the bed staring at his phone. “ISN’T IT OBVIOUS? WE NEED ANSWERS.” Venti slapped him across the face. Qiqi and Diona sprinted towards the two. “Everyone! Calm quiet peace. No hitting!” Qiqi told Venti off. “Violence is not the answer, remember we are here to talk to not beat the man up. I’m pretty sure I hurt him pretty bad already.” Diona sighed. Surprisingly the two were pretty good peacemakers. “Ugh… What are you guys doing? It’s so late at night.” Klee woke up due to the noise next to her, Sayu. “Oh god there’s even more kids?” Xiao sighed. “WHERE DID SAYU AND- oh they’re just here…” Keqing sighed in relief. Now most of the house was in that one room, Ganyu being the only one left. “W-what for me!” Ganyu ran upstairs, now the entire ‘family’ was upstairs. “Why is everyone here…” Xiao whispered. “Honestly I don’t even know either but the more the merrier right…” Venti whispered back. “I feel like right now that would contradict…” Ganyu said. “Anyway, WE NEED ANSWERS YOUNG MAN!” Diona screamed. “You are not going to call me young man.” Xiao declared. “Oh whatever, WHY’D YOU SEND THIS WEIRD ASS MESSAGE!!! ANSWERS WHERE PLEASE I BEG!” Venti went onto his knees. “W-what are you even doing?!?” Xiao yelped.

“Psst! Diona, Qiqi come over here.”

“I LITERALLY DON’T KNOW WHAT THE FUCK THAT TEXT MESSAGE WAS BUT IF YOU ARE PLANNING TO BREAK UP WITH ME WHY? JUST TELL ME WHY ALREADY…” Venti cried, his head now resting onto Xiao’s lap. “Well, i-in all honesty after college I’m gonna move away so-” Interrupting Xiao’s explanation Venti yelled. “UGH NOT THAT AGAIN DIDN’T I TELL YOU? I CAN JUST BECOME YOUR HOUSE WIFE AND AND WE CAN LIVE TOGETHER AND HAVE BABIES AND GET MARRIED AND STUFF, YOU KNOW THE THINGS IN MOVIE.” Venti looked at Xiao in the eyes.

“Honestly I would get really horny if I saw you in an apron but like- THAT’S NOT THE POINT I DON’T WANT YOU TO BE A HOUSEWIFE…” Xiao blushed. “Did you just say you’d be horny if you saw me in an apron.” Venti stopped crying to let that sentence sink in. “Uh- forget about that…” Xiao turned to look at the other side of the room. “JUST TELL ME WHY YOU SENT THAT THINGY ALREADY I'M ABOUT TO BEAT YOU UP.” Venti remarked. Clearly he needed some type of answer and that beautiful short man kept wasting time. “I don’t get it you wanted to break up with Venti because you were going to move? Why not just have Venti move with you?” Diona was confused.

An example of what everyone was thinking at this point in time…

I swear to Barbatos these guys are high or something. - Diona

What a bunch of idiots. - Keqing

This is so confusing… - Ganyu

I wanna go back to sleep but I wanna know what’s happening… - Sayu

Xiao and Venti sitting in a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-G ! - Klee

Qiqi… don’t understand. - Qiqi

*nsfw thoughts of Venti in an apron…* - Xiao

*nsfw thoughts of him being a housewife* - Venti


“Oh lord, that is so unreasonable.” Keqing commented. “Just get back together already I swear or else I will shove a leg up your asses.” Sayu threatened. She was very cranky due to her being woken up by the two… well few. “Alright. Let’s do this again. SOMEONE GO COOK US AN EGG ROLL!” Venti pointed at the group watching them. “O-okay!” Ganyu rushed downstairs to make an egg roll. “The hell- WHAT DOES AN EGG ROLL HAVE TO DO WITH THIS?!” Diona snapped. She ran towards Venti and stomped on his feet. “OW- JESUS ONLY ME AND XIAO KNOW WHY. RIGHT XIAO?” Venti looked over at Xiao, so did Diona. “Well, I do know why but you should probably tell them why an egg roll has to be in this.”

“Your egg roll is done!” Ganyu rushed upstairs with an egg roll. Of course, on a small shiny white plate. “Thank you!” Venti took the plate from Ganyu and sat next to Xiao. “Close your eyes.” Xiao said he seemed quite nervous, but Venti closed his eyes anyway. “God I can’t believe we’re recreating this…” The next thing he knew was that they were kissing, and he could feel the softness of an egg roll, but what was better was that Xiao was feeding him something mouth to mouth. After the kiss, Venti could feel Xiao's breath on his cheeks. “Uhm... will you be my boyfriend?”

There it is.

“Yes!!” Venti hugged Xiao. “Oh my god I’m about to puke…” Diona said. “Just adult things.” Ganyu hugged Diona. “Wait- that happened before?”

Chapter Text

alrigbht so ive written the first chapter on how xingqiu and chongyun started dating and it is in this universe so YEAH ive told the people in my discord server and yeah lmao HTATS IT HERES THE LINK :D (or you can just go to the third story in the series so yeah)


also i will be doing things like this in the future to the couples that didnt get match maked by ayato >:)

Chapter Text

Mona Megistus

“So you want me to help you?” Mona and Lisa were in a library. More specifically, Lisa’s private library. It was filled with forbidden knowledge related to Celestia, spells, and other things. There are even some ancient relics, how did Lisa obtain all these? That’s a question for next time. “That’s right, knowing you have more knowledge than me then I know you’ll be able to help me.” Lisa chuckled. “Tch, so what do I get in return?” 


“A trip to the outside world.” Lisa offered. The outside world, something normal people do not know. It is outside Teyvat basically, outside the Archon’s rule. “I don’t need that, just give mora or something. You don’t seem reliable enough to send me up there.” Mona rejected. Truthfully Lisa predicted this, it was necessary for a future project. “And how much mora?” Lisa asked. She quite literally had plenty of mora as of now thanks to a certain guy named Kaeya with hair that looks like a ponytail but isn’t a fucking ponytail. Shehad 50 billion mora in her bank account by doing Kaeya’s jobs and other part time jobs. Her parents were basically rich already but they were executed by the Archons in front of her eyes. They didn’t know that Lisa was there due to her being inside a wardrobe. Her parents were just like her, people with forbidden knowledge. They wrote many books to keep the knowledge they had stored into one place, intentionally supposed to be passed onto Lisa. After their death, her grandparents started to live in Lisa’s house and raise her. They were also researchers of the unknown but they soon retired when they turned 53. As soon as Lisa turned 13, her grandparent showed her where all the old books, relics and all the forbidden knowledge was stored. It was stored in a secret passageway making sure visitors never found it. They were thankful the Archons thought there was no need to destroy all of it, that was their mistake and something the family would be thankful for. 


“Actually, I don’t want mora.” Mona proposed. “You don’t want mora? Aren’t you quite broke?” Lisa laughed. Laughed at her wealth. “You piece of shit. But anyway, I don’t want Mora. I want one of these relics.” She laughed. “Those relics seem really ancient and could give me more knowledge. Of course I’d like to at least examine it.” Mona continued. “A relic in this room… alright I’ll give you one of them. Oh, I haven’t explained what I need your help with have I?” Lisa chuckled. “Sure haven’t.” Mona crossed her arms and glared at Lisa. “Then I’ll explain it to you. Yesterday night Sucrose had a dream where she was inside Celestia and the Archon’s told her that they wanted her to kill her. Now the more important part is that they tortured a guy named Roger. I want to find out how the tortured him step by step.” Lisa explained. “Alright, I accept.” Mona was about to walk out of the place until she smelled the scent of chamomile “Good girl, now then fall asleep.” Lisa laughed. “You bitch, you planned this didn’t you?” Mona accused. The more Mona thought about it, she realised the place had always had the lingering scent of chamomile. “So what if I did?” Lisa beamed. Mona’s body started to feel weak, the scent started to become stronger and stronger. “K K K K…” Lisa started to laugh a little… weirdly (just search up korekiyo laugh bro sounds like a whole ass seesaw MF BE SPEAKING THOSE KS LIKE NO TOMORROW my guy laughs too much plus he’s pretty ugly tbh BUT ANYWAY lisa’s laughing just like him). “If I need to deal with this, so will you.” Mona took a knife out of her bag. The knife was infused with a potion, it wouldn’t kill anyone but it would most definitely put them to sleep. “Oh! Too bad I’m not going to let you stab me.” Lisa grabbed the knife and stabbed it into Mona’s neck. “Oh you fucker…” Mona entered her slumber. She fell to the ground as she slept peacefully. “Now then, it’s time to get this scent away, I don’t want myself to end up like her.” 


Mona woke up to the sound of the piano. She was laying on this old vintage bed, the room had wallpaper from the 19th century and other things from back then. She opened the door, Lisa was playing the piano. The piano was old and the keys were all a light shade of yellow. Mona watched Lisa for a while, but then Lisa messed up a note. She sat there quietly for a moment before banging the keys hard. “W-WHAT THE HELL IF YOU MESS UP A NOTE YOU DON’T GO AND BANG ON THE KEYS?!” Mona sprinted towards her and slapped Lisa. “Jeez… don’t you dare do that again.” Mona screamed. “It seems you have awoken.” Lisa smiled. Due to Mona’s slap Lisa had a red mark on her face. “Yeah I am. So why the fuck did you need to put me to sleep or whatever.” Mona complained. Mona was pretty pissed that Lisa decided to bang the keys that filled the house with loud noises but she had other problems to deal with. “Why? Well I made a new potion to make other people sleep, but you just happen to have that knife. Originally I was going to use my potion but you were about to attack me so I just used your weapon.” Lisa laughed. “You piece of shit.” Mona was even more furious, she was basically a guinea pig to Lisa! “Whatever, just give me the goddamn relic so I can leave this place and find out how those fuckers even killed that Roger guy.” Mona demanded. “Wait. Before you give me the relic, the Archon’s are supposed to kill anyone who is a threat to them right? You're pretty dangerous to them, and so am I. Plus you have that library and all so why haven’t they killed us?” 


“You… just realized?”

Chapter Text

“You… just realized?” 


Lisa seemed shocked, she thought that Mona would’ve understood by now. “Realized what?” Mona asked. The two girls were shocked and confused, Lisa was shocked Mona didn't know why while Mona was confused as to why. “Well, since you don’t know, I'll just explain it to you, in exchange for your labor.” Lisa snickered. “You- ugh whatever. Sure I’ll do it in exchange as to why. I’m getting out of here.” Mona rushed to the door. “Don’t forget to live laugh love Jean!” 



Private chat with Venti


Mona: wanna meet up?


Venti: why


Mona: gotta ask you some questions


Venti: just ask me here then


Mona: fine you whore




Mona: how did you torture roger?


Venti: nvm lets meet up

“What is the question so fucking bad that we have to meet up?” Mona laughed as she sipped her tea. “You were the one who wanted to meet up at first, you sly pig.” Venti cursed at her. “Well damn where’s your happy-go-lucky personality now?”


“Then what if I told you I was a different person right now?” They looked at Mona and smiled. “At this point I could care less if you're Venti or not. How did you torture Roger?” Mona gave them a death stare. “How about I show you?” 


“Show me? What do you mean by that pretentious bard?” As she questioned them, she felt her hand a burn. “Hm… I’m not quite supposed to kill anyone at the moment but, you know, I will entertain them and myself a little.” 


As soon as they said that Mona’s entire world turned pitch black, she went from sitting in a café to sitting on nothing and not being able to see a thing. 


“Hello, Sucrose!” It was Venti. “Venti, where am I?” Sucrose asked. She was trying her best to stay calm and composed. “...Why do I have to tell you that?” Venti said coldly. “Huh? Why is Venti over there?” Mona questioned. “That’s because this is technically a recording of the past! You wouldn’t know how it works.” Venti laughed. “AH! Y-you scared me…” Mona shrieked, before Venti wasn’t there but well he is now. “You gonna explain why Sucrose is in the middle?” Mona sighed. “Nope!”

“Shall we get started?”


“This is when the real show begins…” Venti whispered. “Show?” Mona took a look over at Venti. “Oh by the way, I’m not Venti. I’m Barbatos.” Suddenly a black shadow fled out of Venti’s body, making him drop to the ground. “Hi~” Barbatos waved at Mona. “Ngh… Barbatos do you have to do it every time?” Venti rubbed his hand and slowly rose. As soon as he rose Venti started coughing out blood. He began to cry. “H-holy shit you okay?” Mona tried to help Venti but when she tried to touch him she felt a burn on her fingers. “Don’t you dare touch him.” Barbatos glared at her, just then he turned identical to Venti. “Only I will protect him, because not only is he my pawn, he is also my child.” As he said that he unbuttoned Venti’s shirt, right after he went through his chest… literally. If he were a normal human he would’ve died, however he was a god. You would assume he was immortal… you know what I’ll just leave it at that.  As he looked for something inside his chest, blood kept dripping onto Venti’s stomach. Sometimes even flesh would come out and land on him. The sight was… horrifying. As she witnessed it she felt like puking. The blood, the flesh, everything was dripping all over Venti. But what was worse was that Venti didn’t seem phased at all. It was inhuman, well they weren’t even human anyway. “Where is it… ah, there it is.” Barbatos moaned. He then ripped something out of his chest, it was shiny like a diamond. “This is a core, technically my living source. If you broke it I would die.” 


As he said that his chest quickly closed, and a scream came from the other side. “STOP WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING GET AWAY FROM ME!” Some guy was screaming. His nails were ripped off, the blood flowed out of the man slowly. Mona didn’t really know what to focus on, her goal or whatever the fuck Barbatos is doing. “Roger isn’t getting tortured just yet, we still have time.” Barbatos sighed. He put the thing onto Venti’s chest, he whispered something into Venti’s ear. Mona could barely hear it but she heard the word weak. Weak? What did that have to do with anything… “ahahahahAHAHAHHAHHHHA FUCK WHERE ARE YOUR SCREAMS? AHAHHAHAHAHAHAA IVE NEVER SEEN SUCH FUCKING BULLSHIT BEFORE AHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHHAA” Barbatos from the other side screamed like a maniac. Venti and Barbatos weren’t paying much attention to what was happening but Mona was horrified. “Barbatos, I’m gonna get pretty traumatized aren’t I?” Mona sighed, at this point she might as well make some conversation. “Oh definitely.” 


 “... SAY IT’S PRETTY YOU WENCH!” Barbatos on the other side slapped sucrose. He was literally carrying some big guy and showing her his blood and telling her to call is pretty? What a fucking maniac. “Oi, little shit you aren’t supposed to hurt the girl. Her orders.” Murata shouted. As they said that one sentence, something felt suspicious. What did Murata mean by her orders? Is someone the leader of the archons or something. Well, that’s not really what you need to think of right now is it?




“Ugh, I’m running out of time. Oh well I’ll just tell you now and speed this clip.” Barbatos summoned some kind of remote and made time faster. In the middle of it all there were golden numbers, probably telling how many minutes he was skipping. “So basically I stab him with a lot of pencils and then… How do I explain this?” Barbatos sighed. He paused the world they were in, only Venti, himself and Mona could move now. “What are you doing?” At this point, nothing would really surprise Mona anymore. They went from a bloody mess, to having a guy get stripped apart and getting impaled by pencils and then time stopping. “Honestly, I don’t know either. I just do whatever my mind tells me. I don’t think you know? I’ve lived for so long and well, I don’t even bother to think anymore.” Barbatos smiled, this time it seemed genuine. 


Suddenly, time began once again. It was a little bit different from before but, that didn’t really matter. “It’s not easy to explain this in words, but just watch. Like a movie!” 


“Contractus ad Morax”


Suddenly, the man started to have geo marks all over his body, all glowing brightly in the room. His body was slowly turning into rock, he wasn’t screaming though. “His blood is crystallizing and turning into rock, and his blood, organs and flesh are hardening inside his body. Isn’t that just the funniest shit ever?” Barbatos laughed. There was this wide smile on his face. It was creepy like that one bitch called Kokichi. It was almost as if he was doing it on purpose. But still… why the fuck were they crystallizing his blood?


“Well he dies after, this answers your question doesn’t it? Barbatos sighed. Yes, it did answer Mona’s question but was she going to remember it? That depends on how traumatized she is. “Then I’ll be leaving n-” 


“Wait.” Mona tried to grab Barbatos’s arm but she just went through him. “W-WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING.” Venti ran between them and glared at Mona with vicious eyes. “W-what do you mean?” Mona stuttered, she had never seen Venti so angry before. Of course, she had seen him be like this with Xiao. That was no surprise, but Barbatos? Never in her life did she think they’d have a relationship so close that… nevermind. “I-it’s alright I’ll just send her away.” Barbatos laughed it off but he was clearly weak at this moment. He sent her away without a goodbye. Barbatos dropped to the ground, “Are you okay?” Venti asked. “I’m fine, but make sure she's safe or else I’ll get into trouble.” 


TIME: ???


As soon as Barbatos sent me away I found myself falling down a black hole. Kind of like Alice in wonderland, but there were no goofy looking things. It just kept going and going, like an endless void. I needed answers, but there was no one there. Soon I finally reached the end, I landed on my head but it didn’t hurt one bit. That means this isn’t the real world. As soon as I landed fireflies started to fly and show me the light. There were many but they all headed into the same direction. I looked around, I saw a sign that said “FOLLOW THE FIREFLIES!”


I stood up and followed the fireflies, honestly I just wanted to go home. Soon the fireflies stopped at a glowing white door. I opened it and something grabbed me and dragged me inside. I tried to scream but I couldn’t, my voice was trapped inside of my throat so I just let it happen. Inside was just a bright light until suddenly I woke up in a hospital bed. 


“Ah, you’re awake.” Lisa turned off her phone and smiled at Mona. “How was the trip?”

Chapter Text

Beidou woke up to the sound of her alarm ringing, it made her jump out of bed in fear. She quickly turned the alarm off at lightning speed, she didn’t need to hear the screams anymore. It wasn’t a healthy way to cope but it worked out for her, or at least that’s what she wanted to believe.

She looked around to find a note was left on her bedside table, “morning beidou, i need to do some things related to the student council. eat well :) — ningguang”

She picked up the note and put it inside her drawer, she stretched her arms and looked into the mirror. What she saw was shocking, she saw a hot girl. Her hair was messy from her moving around in her sleep, her cheek was covered with dry drool. It was disgusting but hey it’s gonna happen at least once in your life. She went to the bathroom to clean her face and brush her hair, it was her daily routine. The thing is she would forget to brush her teeth and eat gum, it wasn’t sanitary but she could barely take care of herself anymore.

She got a large jacket and wrapped it around herself, she put her wallet into her right pocket. She walked towards the supermarket, she looked to her left, she saw two people in an alleyway. “ALICE! C-can you call a taxi for us?” The girl in the alleyway called for Beidou. “Sure!” Beidou smiled, she knew something was fishy, she called the police instead of a taxi. “I gotta go to the supermarket, have fun!” Beidou quickly ran away, the police should settle those types of things, not her.

Soon after she finally arrived at the supermarket, she went straight to the drinks area. “Lady, are you sure you should be drinking that much beer?” An old lady said as she passed by Beidou. “No need to worry, I haven’t drank in a long time.” Beidou tried to reassure her, really kind people always worry about the wrong ones.

People who don’t deserve their kindness.


Beidou’s family were mostly captains of the Crux fleet. 2 years ago Beidou was steering a ship her family rented. There was no one there except for a few of her family members and workers of the ship.. She was supposed to go from Liyue to Inazuma, the ocean was large and vast, she barely knew anything about it. Sometimes she wonders why her family thought it was a good idea to make her steer such a ship, but she knew they had quite the expectation.

She wished they hadn't been on that ship though.



When she arrived at her dorm she felt quite miserable. After all, it was the day of their death. She put the beer in the fridge to drink later. Before that she had to visit them, she wouldn’t dare appear drunk in front of their faces, after all she was the one who killed them.



“Hey kid, it’s been a while hasn’t it?” Beidou looked at her cousin's grave, her name was Meidou, only a letter away from Beidou’s name. She was eight years old. The funny thing is, she also happens to be born on the same day as Beidou. “It’s been a while hasn’t it?”



“They were all so happy…” Beidou’s grandma sobbed to see Meidou’s family perish. Meidou and her parents were all on that ship. Beidou was able to get a lifeboat but not in time to save all the others. Inside that ship one of the workers had planned to murder everyone in there. They had drugged Beidou so that she would be asleep and made the ship come across an iceberg, Beidou had woken up and tried to get them off but it was too late. The worker was suspected to have schizophrenia and was sent to a mental hospital after Beidou turned them in. “It’s not your fault.” Beidou’s mother hugged Beidou from the side, she knew that Beidou blamed herself for the family's death. The family had a strong bond with each other. However, Beidou had a special relationship with Meidou. Their names were similar and they even shared a birthday. She loved Meidou and the two were quite close. Despite Beidou only meeting Meidou every two weeks they still


“You could’ve met my girlfriend, Ningguang. Sadly you couldn’t but maybe one day I’ll bring her here.” Beidou laughed. “I need to talk with your parents now, bye.” Beidou touched the headstone of Meidou, she gave it a warm smile and left.

“Hey Uncle, Hey Auntie, it’s been a while hasn’t it? I haven’t seen you guys in two years, I talked to Meidou earlier.” Beidou mentioned. “Man, I feel like you two would lecture me if you were alive. Especially because I’m dating a woman but you’d probably switch up when I tell you my love is rich.” She laughed at the thought, she always wanted her entire family to meet Ningguang. Including the ones who have disappeared and fled to Celestia. “Well then, I’ll be leaving now. Farewell, maybe next year I’ll visit you again.”



Beidou shut the door closed, she sprinted towards the fridge to get her now cold beer. She turned the TV on, no one was home right now. Ningguang and Mona were busy with student council stuff while Yanfei was on a date with Hu Tao. Leaving Beidou alone, she was glad they weren’t home though. She chugged the first can of beer, soon she chugged three, then five, then eight and finally the eleventh can was finished. She had finished her sack of beer, she was completely wasted and sad at the same time. In truth, she wanted to stop blaming herself, she wanted to stop blaming herself for the death of Meidou and her parents death. It wasn’t healthy but she would drink the pain away, sometimes she’d bond and talk about her shit with Kaeya and Kaeya would do the same. The two would be completely wasted and emotional but they had each other’s backs. Soon enough Beidou started crying, she couldn’t handle it anymore. She just wanted to burst, her chest tightened. “If only Ningguang were here…” Beidou cried, she felt miserable. After a whole lot of crying she went and got medicine inside of the drawers, it was a syringe that made you sleep automatically. She walked back towards the cough and stabbed herself with the syringe. Before she could sleep she took the syringe out, however she didn’t have enough time to put a bandaid on the wound.


10:56 PM

Ningguang walked into her dorm, she saw a Beidou laying on the couch with a wound on her left arm. Seeing it, she rushed to get a bandaid from the drawers, she got the bandaid and a wet cloth. She rubbed the wet cloth around the wound to clean up all the dry blood and soon put the bandaid on after she finished cleaning. Beidou was too big for her to carry, although she wanted to go onto the bed and cuddle with her she couldn’t because Beidou was in a deep slumber. She went to get a blanket from Beidou’s room, she put it on top of Beidou. She looked at the table, she saw 11 cans of beer. “Silly little Beidou, you should’ve told me if you were going to drink…” Ningguang sighed. She bent down and gave Beidou a kiss on the check, it left a little mark on there. When Ningguang saw that she gave it a small giggle.

She quickly went inside her room, and entered her own slumber.

Chapter Text

“Ah, you’re awake.” Lisa turned off her phone and smiled at Mona. “How was the trip?” Lisa smiled at Mona, what a faker. “I felt like I was about to die…” Mona sighed, she was glad she was back again.


“Can you tell me why?” 


Mona was already exhausted to know that Sucrose was being mentally tortured by literal gods, and the fact she got dragged by some creature. But she needs to know why, why aren’t the Archon’s killing her and Lisa. 


“Roger got his nails ripped off, stabbed with sharp little pencils, his vocal cords were removed and his blood got crystallized.” 


Lisa simply looked at Mona, she didn’t seem surprised. Mona sure was, a god, no seven gods were torturing a human that may or may not be a person who worships them. A person who might pray and call their name. 


“Interesting indeed. Now the reason that they haven’t been killing us is…” Lisa whispered into Mona’s ear, it was so quiet only Mona and Lisa could hear the reason. Did you really think I’d tell you the reason this early? 


“The archon battle is tomorrow. Something will happen, I’m sure of it.” Lisa mentioned, it was true, the Archon battle was tomorrow. Everyone participating was nervous, they didn’t know their goal but they knew that they could die. Yet, they still enter. It’s like they’re being manipulated. 


The archon battle was supposed to last for a week with multiple breaks for water and food. Honestly, it was probably the worst idea in history but the leaders of this world have decided. All they can do about it is deal with it. “Honestly, I just want to kill myself.”



“You fucking idiot. Why would you tell her that?!” Baal was beating up Barbatos. The Archon vessels were watching at the side, except for Venti. “S-STOP IT!” He was being held back by Ei and the spirit of Makoto. “Baal, isn’t that enough?” The Tsaritsa smiled at the girl. “WHAT DO YOU MEAN ENOUGH? THIS BITCH SPILLED EVERYTHING TO THAT ASTROLOGIST!” Murata slapped Tsaritsa in the face. Her vessel immediately came to her rescue, “Are you alright?” She said, “I’m fine darling.” 


“But really, I think it’s fine. We’re going to die anyway and if we really want to keep that secret then we can just kill her can we not?” Kusunali crossed her arms, really she could care less. “For now, lay low. Do not move. You can beat Barbatos up as much as you want, just don’t kill Mona Megistus. Orders from her .” The god of Justice finally spoke. “It’s been a while since we’ve heard your voice, why don’t you speak more often?” Tsaritsa kissed The Hydro Archon’s cheek. “H-honestly we’re just alive c-cause we need entertainment. This is a golden opp-”


“Shut the fuck up.” Tsaritsa said, her tone didn’t match the words she was saying. She sounded quite happy and she was smiling too. “See even you’re pissed off.” Baal mumbled. “Hey hey forgive me will you? We’re one the same team!” Barbatos laughed. Honestly, he wasn’t even hurt. Even if his fingers, nose, and maybe even skull were broken, blood was spilling out and a lot more, he was immortal. He had experienced even worse pain than this either way and he was a masochist. Not saying he enjoyed it by the way. “Well, technically you didn’t quite break the rules.” Morax said. It was true, the rules never stated they couldn’t tell anyone other than Albedo, Kaeya and the twins. So technically, he didn’t do jack shit. “See!! I told you Morax was on my side!!” Barbatos screamed in joy, he was kind of enjoying himself. “You know what, you’re probably enjoying this fucking slut.” Baal laughed hysterically and left the place. “What a dramatic one she is.” Morax sighed. “Barbatos are you okay?!” Venti quickly ran to his… master? Employer? Teacher? Leader? Controller? Manipulator? Parent? At this point, he doesn’t know who Barbatos is to him anymore. “I’m fine, this is barely anything really.” Barbatos laughed. “Just a few broken bones, plus you know that I heal fast.” 


“Are we done here?” Zhongli asked, “Damn not even a bit of pity?” Barbatos joked. “In all honesty, I could care less if you live or die. That’s Venti’s problem, not mine.” Zhongli said with a straight face. “Pfft-” Murata giggled, if they weren’t in this situation they’d be pretty good friends. “I- WELL FUCK YOU TOO?!?” Barbatos screamed, in a nice way. “I mean, he isn’t wrong…” Ei commented. “Honestly you guys are just mean.”



“Alright, I’m ready to tell you all.” Sucrose stood tall, she was pretty confident about this. She was going to tell the twins, Albedo and Dain. She remembered the incident very clearly, she knew exactly what she would be saying. She even memorized a script. “So I was in a dream and then-” As she was telling them she felt something come out of her mouth. She fell to the ground, she saw a black mucus come out of her. As it spilled onto the ground the mucus wrote something. 




Her self-esteem started to drain, it flew out of her body… literally. “What’s wrong? Are you okay?” Lumine tried to comfort her, she couldn’t see the black mucus. No one could, only Sucrose could see it. Or that’s what they’d like to think. “N-nothing, and all they told me was to kill them!” Sucrose laughed, she was obviously lying but they seemed somewhat convinced. 


“Are they stupid? If they really want to die that badly, why not just kill themselves?” Aether sighed. “If that’s what they want, then we should do it. It’ll be useful for us.” 



“You ready?” Xingqiu asked his boyfriend. The two were holding hands and in line, waiting for their turn. “I’m fine, what about you?” Chongyun smiled. “Same for me.” Xingqiu gave Chongyun a kiss on the cheek. 


“If you die, then I’ll kill myself too.”

Chapter Text

Once upon a time, there was a little girl named Sangonomiya Kokomi. Her half-brother, Gorou, was supposed to be the clan leader. Even if he was younger, he was a male. But unfortunately, a turn of events happened making him unable to lead the clan.




“ARE YOU FUCKING STUPID?!” Gorou’s mother slammed the table. “Silence. It’s been decided that Kokomi will be the leader of Watatsumi island. But only when she turns 15.” Kokomi’s father said. “What’s happening?” Gorou asked, licking his lollipop with Kokomi next to him. “They’re fighting.” The two were leaning against the thin sliding door outside in the hallway. Gorou’s mom rushed out of the door in anger. “Kokomi, Gorou come in.” Kokomi’s father gave the kids a warm smile. 


“Wow! Sister will be the leader of Watatsumi island? That’s amazing!” Gorou beamed with joy, happy for his sister. “That’s great, but why?” Kokomi asked, in truth she didn’t want to become the leader of Sanganomiya. She wanted a settled and normal life. She herself didn’t quite like being a leader, but she felt it would work out in the end. “It’s great, but unfortunately your mother doesn’t quite approve. She thinks only men can lead Sanganomiya. Hmp! She can think what she likes but I believe Kokomi is much greater than a man.” He placed his teacup angrily. “Just because that disgusting woman drugged me, well at least she gave me a sweet son.” 




“Kokomi, why don’t you look anything like me?” Gorou asked. The two were playing outside in the garden, picking flowers for Kokomi’s mother. “Gorou, we have the same father, but we don’t have the same mother. Making us look different.” Kokomi replied. “What do you mean?” Gorou questioned, it wasn’t easy for a young child to understand the concept of cheating and love. “Gorou, do you want to hear a story?” Kokomi smiled. “Of course!”


“Once upon a time, there was a young man and a young woman. They were happy with each other and loved each other dearly.” Kokomi started to play with Gorou’s hair as he laid his head on her lap. “The woman was always very weak, the man didn’t mind. They soon got married and had a baby, but after the baby was born the woman died because she was so weak.” As Gorou heard that, she looked over at Kokomi. The smile that was previously on her face had faded away. “This made the father devastated, he felt that the child needed a mother in their life. So, the man married a woman and made a new child with them, not forgetting the original child. The new woman and the man were always fighting and disagreed about everything. Even worse, the new woman hated the original child.” Kokomi’s voice started to sound angrier and angrier. “That’s all to the story.” Kokomi sighed. “That’s all?” Gorou said with pleading eyes. “Yup, that’s all.” 




“Happy birthday Kokomi.” Kokomi’s father smiled as he gave her a small crystal. “Father, what is this?” Kokomi asked. “The gem of Watatsumi. It’s just to show that you rule over this area.” Kokomi’s father carefully placed it onto her hand. “Now, you may rule Watatsumi island all you like, I will forever follow your wishes.” He smiled and walked away, leaving the girl dumbfounded. She admired the gem in her hand, it was a deep blue colour, shiny and beautiful. She held it to her chest, “I wish to protect all of Watatsumi Island and allow its people to lead happy lives.” Suddenly, another crystal came and fell from the sky and appeared in front of her. It was blue and shiny, much bigger than the previous crystal. It also had a hydro sign on it. “Happy birthday Kokomi!” Right on cue, Gorou slid the door wide open. The first thing he noticed was the bigger crystal. “Kokomi, is that a vision?” Gorou asked, he pointed at the bigger crystal. “It seems so, I have heard of these visions before but I have never seen it personally.” Kokomi picked up the vision from the ground, Gorou walked towards her and sat next to her. “It’s pretty, super pretty!” Gorou smiled, it was true, the vision was pretty by itself. “You should try manipulating hydro! Since you have a hydro vision you should be able to do it right?” Gorou suggested. If it really was her vision, then she’d be able to manipulate hydro. “I’ll give it a try…” Kokomi mumbled, she tried to summon hydro. Then, a fish made of water came to life, it was above Kokomi’s hand, floating as if they weren’t the water itself. “WAHH!” Kokomi screamed and the fish quickly broke apart, making the hydro splash onto the two of them. The two were soaking now, their clothes wet from the fish. “What’s wrong Lady Kokomi? I heard a scream from the other room.” A shrine maiden barged into the room, “N-nothing wrong I’m just shocked…” Kokomi laughed awkwardly, well who wouldn’t be shocked? “Ah, I see. You must be shocked from being the leader of Watatsumi. Don’t worry, I’m sure you will be a great leader.” She gave a genuine warm smile. “If you need anything, feel free to scream my name, I won’t mind.” She bowed down and slid the door shut. “Why didn’t you tell her?” Gorou asked, he was bending down like a dog on four legs. “I was just surprised it worked, that’s all. Plus I think it’s best to tell everyone all at once. You know how they act, they gossip a lot. Word will get out that I have a vision in no time and that would ruin the celebration of me getting a vision.” She was right, it was best not to tell anyone besides Gorou considering the situation. She had just become the leader of Watatsumi island, it would have been a bigger shock if someone had found out she had a vision. 




Kokomi, her father, Gorou and his mother were eating dinner in celebration of Kokomi’s rule over Watatsumi island. “It is amazing that Kokomi has rule over Watasumi.” Gorou’s mother said in a monotone tone and a wide smile on her face. She had been acting like this for over a month, at first Gorou and Kokomi didn’t really know what was wrong but they just assumed she had a change of heart. “Thank you, Auntie.” Kokomi smiled. “Kokomi, just call me mother, we’re family right?” Kokomi's step-mother said and smiled. That’s when Kokomi felt something was off. She looked over at Gorou, he looked back. They both knew she wasn’t acting like herself. She had told Kokomi that she needed to call her auntie, not mother due to her hatred for Kokomi. Yet, she’s going back on her word? It was bullshit. “Mother, are you alright?” Gorou asked. She had a sour face, “Of course I am, I am ecstatic.” She laughed, something was very off about her. She wasn’t her old rude, bratty self. The one Kokomi knew and dealt with. “May I go to the bathroom?” Kokomi smiled, she wrote a note on a small piece of paper from her pocket. “Of course you can, you don’t even need to ask.” Kokomi’s father laughed. As she walked out, she placed the note and a pen onto Gorou’s shoulder. He quickly took the note before the parents could catch on. The note said, “Something’s off about your mother. I think she got brainwashed, what about you?” 


Gorou looked around, he spotted Kokomi waiting outside. He looked back at the adults, they were eating and distracted themselves talking about Kokomi’s success. He quickly wrote something back. 


“Welcome back.” Kokomi’s father said. He was slurping miso soup one of the chefs from the Kamisato Clan had made for the celebration. The Sanganomiya clan and the Kamisato clan had a somewhat alright relationship, they were like comrades. 


As she walked back, Gorou quickly gave her a crushed note and the pen. She sat down and read the note. “I think so too, but for now we should just play along :D” She sighed as she read the note. The pressure of the fact that she had a vision, was now the leader of Watatsumi island, and that something was wrong about Gorou’s mother. She turned to look at Gorou, she gave him a thumbs up in agreement to his plan. 


“That was a great meal.” Gorou’s mother wiped her mouth, “Indeed. Now all we have to do is drink at this splendid time.” Kokomi’s father laughed. “Except for Gorou, you may not drink.” Gorou’s mother said sharply, of course, he was 13 did you really think he’d drink? The three took a shot of sake, Kokomi didn’t like the taste. “Kokomi, Gorou, me and your mother have something to discuss. Get back to your rooms and have some rest, it’s getting late.” Kokomi’s father said. “Alright then, goodbye.” Kokomi and Gorou bowed down and left the room. 


“They’re hiding something.” Gorou mumbled. “You’re right on that one.” Kokomi sighed, it was such a huge headache. “For now let’s just-” As Kokomi was speaking to Gorou she felt pain all around her body. It was painful, her chest had tightened, her head was ringing, her hands felt like they had just been swinging in circles, her legs felt like she had been running for so long non-stop. She fell to the ground, Gorou immediately came desperately to call out her name, but she couldn’t hear him. Soon shrine maidens had come to her aid. 



It hurts. It hurts. It hurts. Save me. Please…


Suddenly everything stopped, the pain was gone. I looked around, I was nowhere. It was pitch black and I could barely see anything. “Hello.” I heard a voice from behind me. It was a woman. “Who are you?” I asked, “To put it simply, a god.” She replied. I looked around, knowing that it wasn’t any use since everything was pitch black. “Which god are you?” I asked. I bent down to feel the floor, as I bent down I felt my hands get wet. I had been wearing something that prevented my feet from getting wet. “What would you do if I told you?” She questioned. In truth, I had assumed that the god I was speaking to was the hydro archon due to the water beneath them. “I just want to confirm something.” I tried to grab the lady's hand but instead grabbed the air. “What a sad attempt, but it was nice you tried.” The god giggled. “Moving on, today at night go into your brother’s mother’s bedroom and use your hydro vision. You’ll understand once you get there.” 


The lady disappeared, leaving me dumbfounded. Suddenly my body started hurting again.




Kokomi woke up in her bedroom, she was all alone. She looked at the time, it was 9:39 at night. She crept out of her bed, and rushed to Gorou’s mothers room. She was laying there, but she wasn’t asleep. Kokomi activated her hydro power, she summoned multiple fishes. Suddenly the fishes went inside her brain (Gorou’s mother, not Kokomi’s) and then Gorou’s mother woke up. “W-what are you doing here? What d-day is it today?” She gasped. “It’s the 22nd of February, my birthday. You were here for the celebration of my rule over Watatsumi island, don't you remember?” They were right, something was wrong here. “It was just January. What do you mean it’s February…” She mumbled. Then it hit her, “Ah, it must be that drug he gave me. That fucker…” Gorou’s mother cursed. “Auntie, what do you mean by drug?” Kokomi asked. Gorou’s mother sighed and looked at her, “Well, since you’ve saved me I’ll tell you. In January apparently a month before now your dad gave me a drug. Supposedly it’s probably a brainwashing drug.” 


“Did I act a little weird after January 2nd?” She asked. “Yes you did, you started to be more affectionate with me and supportive.” Kokomi bluntly said. “I see. So he must’ve wanted me to support you but didn’t know how to push me into believing you can do it.” Gorou’s mother looked up into the ceiling. “Well, since you saved me I might as well just support you. Also, call me mom from now on.” Kokomi’s step-mother patted her on the back. “Are you sure?” Kokomi replied. “Was I that mean? To be honest, I was just mad and sad that he thought Gorou wasn’t worth anything. I don’t really hate you, I just hated your dad.” She laughed. “If you hated my dad then why’d you marry him?” Kokomi asked. Gorou’s mother looked over at her, she seemed a little bit shocked. “Honestly, I don’t even know anymore. At first I just did it because of the money and my parents. But mostly for the fact I wanted Gorou to live in a decent household.” She sighed. “Kokomi, you should get some rest. It’s getting late isn’t it? If you want I’ll tell you why me and Gorou’s biological father divorced. But only tomorrow.” Gorou’s mother smiled. “Alright then, goodnight Au-... mother .” Kokomi slid the door shut. She slowly walked towards her room. Soon enough, she changed clothes and went to bed, making sure she’d remember everything that happened that night.


11:39 AM


“Happy birthday Kokomi!” Kokomi’s mother said from the phone. “Thank you mother.” Kokomi smiled. “Hey, how about you go over to Sanganonmiya for your birthday. It’s hard taking leadership for Watatsumi for so long.” Kokomi’s mother sighed. Since Kokomi had travelled away from Watatsumi, she had handed temporary leadership of Watatsumi island to her parents for the meantime. “I can’t, I have to study.” Kokomi huffed. “Good morning Kokomi! Oh hi mom!” Gorou barged into Kokomi’s room. “I brought some mochi, do you want some?” Gorou handed Kokomi a box of mochi. “Why even bother asking if you’re gonna give it to me anyway…” Kokomi mumbled as she chewed onto her mochi. “Why can’t I have mochi too…” Kokomi’s mother sighed. “Lady you’re on a no mochi week, don’t you dare try and trick me.” Kokomi’s father yelled, playfully. “I know, but there’s always a cheat day!” She sneered. The two siblings giggled at her little saying. There’s always a cheat day . It was when Kokomi’s father banned his wife from eating something specific, for example this week it was mochi because last week she stuffed herself with mochi everyday and he wanted her to be healthy. Last week's banned food was literally chips. Somehow (most likely from the Kamisato clan) she obtained chips and finished it all two weeks ago. Her excuse to cheat on these things was There’s always a cheat day ! It was pretty funny watching the two bicker about it. “Besides that, I sent you some things for your birthday, one of them was the martial arts book you wanted.” Kokomi’s mother said as she munched on some dango. “Thank you, and at this rate the next banned food will be dango.” Kokomi laughed. “Might as well… anyway, we gotta do some paperwork now. Stay healthy!” Kokomi’s mother said as she hung up. “It’s unbelievable to think that she hated you so many years ago.” Gorou laughed. The fact Kokomi’s mother hated her had become the core of most of their jokes. “Shhh, anyway shall we celebrate?” Kokomi said as she poured a bottle of sake onto her cup. 


“Also, no drinking since you’re 13 years old!”



Chapter Text



“I’m going to invite everyone to my birthday, well the old fashion way!” Bennett said in joy. Bennett, Fischl and Razor were all eating lunch together before Bennett’s quote on quote birthday. “So you're gonna send them letters?” Fischl asked as she sipped her cup of lemon tea. “Yup!” 


Bennett wrote all the letters by hand and gave it all to the mail. He was so excited, but was his luck really going to let it happen?



Bennett was celebrating his birthday party at a lake. Fischl, Razor and his many dads. “Fischl this place is fabuloussss!!! My oh my this lake is just glistening!” Bennett’s first dad said in a voice similar to a swan. “Oh this is nothing sir! Just the best of my capabilities!” Fischl laughed. “Dearie, stop with the formalities, just call me dad.” He said in a sassy tone. “That I will, dad!” Fischl blushed. The two had quite the relationship, sometimes, Bennett wonders if he loves Fischl more then he does him. “Razor, can you help me with lifting these?” Bennett’s second dad said. To his command, Razor lifted up some tables. They were planning to do it buffet style as they sat on the floor and they’d just take the food when they needed it. 


“Everything’s finally done! Now we just wait.” 



“It doesn’t seem like anyone is coming…” Bennett’s first dad whispered to Bennett’s other dad. 

fruity pruity


Fischl: @everyone guys why arent yall in bennetts bday?

Xingqiu: what???


Chongyun: we didnt get invitations


Fischl: huh


Fischl: bennett literally gave them out old fashioned style and gave it to the mail to give to ur mailboxes


Diluc: oh lord


Sucrose: do you think, his luck did something?


Albedo: wait so


Albedo: what if the mail got his letters mixed up


Fischl: ah shit


Fischl: ok yk what everyone come to cider lake rn im gonna make this right


Fischl: @everyone 


Yanfei: ah alright


Hu tao: OKAY :D


Kazuha: oh fuck


Scaramouche: mail man messed up

Fischl turned off her phone and sighed. “Hey Bennett, maybe they’re just, you know, stuck in traffic.” Fischl laughed awkwardly. “Y-yeah your right… I’ll continue waiting.” Bennett smiled as he slowly lost hope. “Hey, dad, it seems the mail man messed up, I just notified everyone they’re coming now.” Fischl whispered to Bennett’s two fathers, making sure Bennett couldn’t hear them. “Ah… I see.” Bennett’s first dad sighed in relief. He had thought everyone had forgotten about his son's birthday. 


“AHH BENNETT SORRY WE’RE LATE!” Venti screamed, he had Xiao, Ganyu, Keqing and, weirdly, Sucrose with him. “Hmp! Took you long enough!” Fischl slapped Venti in the face. “O-OW WHAT WAS THAT FOR?!” Just after that statement, Diluc, Rosaria, Kaeya, Albedo and Klee came. “Hey Bennett! Happy birthday!” Klee approached Bennett and gave him a small present. “A-ah! Thank you Klee.” Bennett was always cautious of Klee as she was very destructive. “Chop chop! Go and eat or else the food will go cold.” 

Soon, most people in the group chat were there celebrating his birthday with him. “Bennett, did you know that when you eat salmon roe, you're eating unfertilised eggs from female fishes.” Xingqiu laughed. “I- I didn’t need to know that…” Bennett laughed. “Well now you do!” 


“Everyone listen up!” Fischl got a mic and screamed into it, making everyone’s ears bleed. “Now that I have your attention.” Fischl calmed down a little. “It’s not a birthday party without cake right? RAZOR!!!!” Once again, she shrieked into the mic as Razor came running with a box of cake. He quickly put the box of cake on the table and opened it. On the cake it wrote “HAPPY 19TH BIRTHDAY YOU OLDIE - FISCHL” 


“Now then it’s time to sing happy birthday!” 

The group sang Bennett a happy birthday, Barbara kinda led the entire song. Soon enough, it was getting dark. Bennett’s two fathers told everyone to leave as they were going to clean up. 



“Hey you know what Fischl, maybe being an oldie isn’t that bad.” 

Chapter Text

“Qiqi, wanna go out?” Baizhu asked, it was pretty sudden as they were just mixing herbs. “Okay.” Qiqi had agreed anyway. She didn’t like going to big parties as they were tiring for her, she didn’t like having her own either as she would forget everything. You wouldn’t find a kid that didn’t like celebrating their birthdays right? Well, Qiqi was just like that. It was just tiring. Instead, she would just go out and eat something to celebrate. Of course, it always took her by surprise as she didn’t remember the times he brought her out. 


Suddenly Baizhu got a notification from his phone, “Actually, change of plan, let's go to Ganyu’s.” Qiqi looked at him blankly. “Okay.” 


“We’re here~” Baizhu rang the doorbell to Ganyu’s place. “Coming!!” Ganyu shouted from inside, she opened the door, as she opened it smoke began to release from inside. There were multiple voices shouting from inside and Ganyu’s face was practically covered in flour. “What happened here…?” Baizhu asked in worry. As the smoke flew out, Qiqi started coughing and her eyes started to hurt. “Shit.” Baizhu hid her from the smoke, he hugged her making her face rest onto Baizhu's chest. “Y-YOU GUYS OPEN THE WINDOWS!” Ganyu yelled, the three inside heard her and instantly opened all the windows, letting most of the smoke release. Baizhu picked up Qiqi and brought her over to the entrance of Xiao’s dorm. The two waited there until Ganyu walked up to them, “I’m so sorry for that, Qiqi are you okay?” Ganyu mumbled. Qiqi nodded to the question, then Qiqi got up, signalling she wanted to go inside. The two held both hands as they went back into the house. 


“Idiots, you two. IDIOTS!” Keqing screamed as the three of them walked in. She stood tall as her arms were crossed, in front of her was Venti and Xiao, on their knees with their head to the ground. They looked like they were begging for forgiveness, especially Venti. “Keqing-” Venti said, only to be interrupted by Keqing. “LADY KEQING!” She screamed. “L-LADY KEQING, PLEASE FORGIVE ME!!” Venti cried. She was clearly enjoying the begging Venti as it was a very VERY humiliating thing for Venti. “The kid is here, get up.” Baizhu pulled the two up from the ground. “Hmp!” Keqing huffed and walked away into the kitchen. “So like, what do we do with the dead cake?” Venti sighed. “Cake?” Qiqi asked as she pulled onto Venti’s shirt. “Y-yeah cake it’s coming soon! Lemme just order it…” Venti panicked as he got his phone and ordered a cute small cake. “Where is Klee, Diona, Sayu?” Qiqi questioned, this time tugging at Xiao's shirt. “They went out to eat with other people.” Xiao replied. “Qiqi, how about you go over there and read.” Baizhu suggested. Qiqi nodded and went along with her reading. “Alright, so Venti, Xiao go clean the oven. Keqing, Ganyu go make some food THAT ISN’T sweets. Preferably more mild food.” Baizhu ordered. The four of them did just that, luckily the oven was not close to the stove…  




Ganyu and Keqing had made some stone harbour delicacies, egg rolls, chicken tofu pudding and bird egg sushi. At that point, Qiqi was fast asleep. Venti and Xiao were playing the lyre and the flute to block the sound of pans moving and the cooking from inside the kitchen to let Qiqi enter a nice and short slumber. Baizhu was getting the cake from outside the dormitory. From then on, the three of them had learned not to let Xiao or Venti near the kitchen as a hellfire would commence. “Thank you.” Baizhu bowed to the delivery person and left them there (to die). 


“Qiqi, wake up.” Baizhu shook Qiqi awake, she slowly awakened from her short slumber. There sat a bunch of food on the table waiting for her to devour. 


“Happy birthday, though it’s kind of late shall we celebrate?”

Chapter Text

“Yo.” Venti hugged Sucrose from behind, “Get your hands off her.” Lumine punched his back, pushing him and Sucrose to the ground. “Bard, let’s not make trouble.” Zhongli lifted Venti up using his shirt. Next to him was Ei, walking from behind. “Don’t forget, it’s not just us who will be fighting you.” Ei laughed. “All the clans in my rule, and the adepti are all against you. Don’t you dare forget that.” She snickered. The three left to the gate of war. “Tch, what a bunch of rascals.” Kaeya sighed. “Venti and his gang sure are a hassle.” 


“That’s not Venti, Ei or Zhongli. That’s Barbatos, Morax and Baal.” Sucrose shivered. “H-huh then where’s Venti and his gang?” Aether hissed. “Well, we don’t really need to know do we?” Dainsleif claimed. “Good luck out there, I’ll be rooting for you guys behind the scenes.” Dainsleif bowed down on one knee. “Get up.” Albedo sighed as he gave Dainsleif his hand. 


The five went into this small teapot, leaving Dainsleif behind. 



Qiqi walked. Found gate. Qiqi saw gate, Qiqi went in gate. Qiqi fell down.


??? POV

“AHH!!!” Sucrose screamed, she was falling down a deep dark void. Suddenly she landed on her head, she felt a lot of pain. Suddenly everything became colorful, but as it became colorful she could hear hundreds of screaming and groaning everywhere. It was a war. Everyone was trying to kill each other and she had been in the middle of everything. Suddenly, a book came into her arms. She recognized it, it was called a catalyst. Way back in the day of its youth, it was used to fight many things, weak and strong. Slimes, hilichurls, anything really. Though it didn’t compare to swords or claymores in terms of physical strength, well it couldn’t really do physical strength at all, it was still powerful. “L-lady, what are you doing?! You should be running!” A tall young girl took Sucrose’s arm and tried to run. Unfortunately, she got shot in the head right before Sucrose’s eyes. What a way to kill someone. Sucrose just sat there, looking at the girl's corpse. Her blood had spilled and got onto Sucrose. “Sucrose.” A familiar voice grabbed Sucrose’s hand. “Calm down, they won’t attack us.” Albedo picked Sucrose up and carried her princess style, he could feel Sucrose trembling. 


“It’s gonna be alright, the brainwashing was designed so that they won’t kill us. So even if we ask them to kill us they won’t because of the brainwashing. They’ll kill everyone else though.” Albedo sighed. 


“W-wait just put me down first.”


Albedo dropped her to the ground, making her land on her ass. “Wow, could’ve been more gentle…” Sucrose huffed. In response Albedo gave her a small chuckle. “Well, for now we should just find the others you know. We might be unstoppable but they aren’t.” 



I heard the slashes of a sword, I felt blood splashing onto my face, but my eyes wouldn’t wake up. “Wake up.” I felt a shock go through my body, it hurt a lot. The pain woke me up. I saw Ayaka, Thoma, Kujou Sara, Ei and Yae standing around him. “To think the head of the Kamisato clan would be the last to wake up, disappointing.” Sara barked (not literally). In all honesty, I didn’t think much of Sara. She was just the adopted girl from the Kujou clan. She also just so happens to go to the same college as me, actually that was kind of intentional but like I like to pretend you know? “Well, it’s not like that matters.” Ei pointed out, everyone immediately stopped what they were doing and looked at her. “As you guys know, there’s a war happening. I am not responsible for your deaths. If you die, you die and that’s that. I give you permission to kill as many as you’d like, however you cannot kill these people.” Ei got a piece of paper out of her left boob (/j its kinda like how she has the booba sword you know). It showed a picture of Aether, Lumie, Kaeya, Albedo and Sucrose. “Why them?” I asked. “Why do you need to know?” 


Immediately, I got electrocuted by nothing. “Thank you, Makoto.” Ei smiled. Suddenly a black shadow came out of Ei, it was definitely a sight to see…


??? POV 


“You were right, they really won’t attack us.” Sucrose gasped. Sucrose and Albedo had gone around the area, not even a single sword, claymore, arrow or even the slightest elemental energy went their way. “See? Now we just have to worry about our friends.” Albedo sighed. A war that doesn’t attack you, kind of weird isn’t it? “What do the archons even want to achieve with this war?” Sucrose looked down onto the floor, there was dried blood practically everywhere. The sky had light shades of pink, yellow and orange but it was mostly white. It was pretty, considering a war had begun. 


As Sucrose walked, a body was stuck in their path. It was a young girl with dark black hair and looked about 180 cm in height. Sucrose and Albedo just jumped to dodge her, but something grabbed onto Sucrose’s legs.

Chapter Text

“Yo!” Someone familiar hugged Sucrose from behind. The person hugging her was icy-cold and sent shivers down her spine. She was unbelievably cold even though they were in close contact. 


“I’m so cold… can you keep me warm?”





“I’m so cold… can you keep me warm?” Fructose said despite wearing an unbelievable amount of layers. She hugged Glucose from behind as she complained about the weather. “Get off me go hug Sucrose.” Glucose hissed at Fructose. “WAHHH SUCROSE SHE’S BULLYING ME!!” Fructose playfully cried as she jumped onto Sucrose. 


“GASP! You’re actually pretty warm, I’ll be hugging you from now on!” 




“GASP! You’re actually pretty warm, I’ll be hugging you from now on!” The familiar voice giggled as Sucrose felt uneasy. “F-fructose is that you?” She said, too scared to look back. A silence penetrated the room as the person took a step back from Sucrose. “Uhm excu-” 


“Do you hate me that much to the point you don’t even want to look at me and confirm? That’s mean…” Fructose fake sobbed. “It’s me, Fructose!” she went back to giggling and smiling. That giggle would haunt Sucrose forever. Sucrose turned around and ran towards her dead friend. “SUCROSE IT’S A TRAP!” Suddenly she felt someone pull her back from behind. It was Albedo. Both Sucrose and Fructose were surprised, both looking at Albedo in confusion. “And you are?” Fructose asked. “Don’t give me that fucking bullshit Barbatos.” Albedo accused. “Barbatos? Do you mean god?” Fructose blurted. She seemed shocked at Albedo’s sudden appearance. “Motherfucker, you think you can fool me? You’ve done this shit before. You’ve taken the form of a dead person and disguised as them for whatever reason.” As he confronted the person in front of them, he took out his sword just in case. Seeing this, Sucrose summoned her catalyst. It was actually getting used to her! “It seems I’ve been found out.” 






His quote on quote skin melted off of him. The image of Fructose slowly dripped down his body and turned into a glossy puddle of liquid. With a snap of his fingers they were released from the darkness and returned to the real world. “Fucking bitch…” Albedo cursed. They were back on land, the body had disappeared and they were left there. “Albedo, what do you think he was trying to do?” Sucrose asked. “What did you say? I couldn’t hear you.” Albedo screamed. The sounds of clashing swords and screams had overfilled the void. “WHAT DO YOU THINK HE WAS TRYING TO DO!” Sucrose screamed. “PROBABLY TRYING TO PROV-” As Albedo tried to scream back, he disappeared into the sky. 




I was teleported into the sky. I didn’t know what I was doing up there, I just was. I kinda felt the clouds brush onto my back, they were soft but my toes were getting fucking electrocuted. LIKE YOU BITCH YOU EXPECT TO BE OKAY WITH GETTING TELEPORTED WITHOUT MY CONSENT AND HAVING MY TOES ELECTROCUTED?? Ok wait if I were a kidnapper I wouldn’t care so I get where this person is coming from. But besides that, couldn't you think bitch like you know not choose electrocution? That shit hurts man… my fingers feel like they’re about to go numb. It seems I was about to die. I looked to my right, to see some purple haired girl flying towards me. I was about to hit the ground, this person probably wants to join me and die then. I closed my eyes and just let myself fall. Well, actually I didn’t, I have a boyfriend to go back to. I got my sketchbook attached to my back. I quickly bit my finger to let my blood release. I drew a large cushion and as I hit the ground I made the cushion come to life. I landed on the large cushion, it was soft but my head felt like it was about to crack open. “Oh, it seems I don’t need to save you.”





Chapter Text

hi guys !!! author here lmao so im going on a hiatus (again) dw ill come back :D im just really worn out from school and i dont have motivation anymore so uhm YEAH HAHAHAHAA im so sorry D:

Chapter Text



“Oh, it seems I don’t need to save you.” The same purple haired girl, actually no, it was a pink haired girl. The same girl who was flying from before basically. 


“You’re Guuji Yae, a descendant of the youkai, you should know that a child of creation can’t die so easily.” I scanned her up and down, a fake smile implemented onto her face. 


“What a smart man, but I’m smarter.” She snatched the sketchbook from my hand. As soon as she took it away, she disappeared in a flash. 



“Hi~ I got a valuable sketchbook.” I gave Albedo’s sketchbook to Ei. I had teleported into the room where Ei and her allies were staying. The room had huge glass windows, letting anyone above ground see the blood shed occurring below. I’m certain it was the same for each archon and their ally. 


“Great, place it down on the table. I have some work to do with the other archons and her , so I’ll be leaving now.” Ei grabbed something out of her pocket. Everyone else gave it a glance before looking back at Ei. 


“Ayato, I trust that you will keep things in order.” Ayato bowed down, his head seemed very pat-able at that moment. I’m sure everyone, especially Thoma, would agree if I had said that out loud. 


??? POV



Ei entered the meeting room last, there sat all the archons and the archon vessels. She quietly sat down on her seat, and suddenly the bells rang. They were sitting in a circle, around a moving table. 


“You may come out.” she said. She, being an unknown god, the leader of the archons. She had no name, or that’s what everyone else thought. Yet, she was powerful, more powerful than anyone in teyvat. So powerful she has everyone at the palm of her hand, waiting to destroy anyone against her. 


“Thank you. We don’t have much time left so I’ll get straight to the point.” A young lady, who had her face covered by a veil was in the middle of the circle. Her figure was tall, her voice sounded familiar to the archon's vessels as well. 


“I want to kill a young girl, named Mona.”

??? POV



“Stupid bitch, got the fake sketchbook.” Albedo laughed. Anyone looking at him at that very moment backed away and ran as fast as they could. 


You’re smarter?” Albedo began to get his pencils and pens and drew out a map. What was the use of the map? Well, simply to track where everyone was. 


(note: its similar to those tracker maps in minecraft)


Albedo started punching the hard ground, making his hand bleed and soak itself into Albedo’s gloves. “I’LL SHOW YOU WHO’S BET-”


“A-albedo?” As he heard the familiar voice, his neck snapped to see who the fuck was there. It concerned Kaeya. 


“Your hands are bleeding, let me help you out with that.” Kaeya ripped a piece of his shirt and took Albedo’s glove off. 


“DON’T TOUCH ME.” Albedo slapped Kaeya across the face. His blood smeared onto Kaeya’s cheeks. After he saw the blood, he realized what he had just done.


“I- I’m sorry…” Albedo reached towards Kaeya with trembling hands and slowly hugged him. Kaeya smiled and embraced Albedo as well.


“Please forgive me…”


“Albedo, I’ll always forgive you, even if what you did was so bad. I’ll love you till the day we die together in this war.”



“X-xingqiu I’m scared…” Chongyun said as he cried with me. Me and him were sitting in a cave, we heard the screams and the weapons clashing together. 


“Bitch should’ve known her place.” I heard someone say just after they threw a dead girl from above. The girl was Xiangling, her blood splattered onto the two of us as she fell to the ground. 


The first one gave me a heart attack, but well, that wasn’t the last thing. With trembling hands, I decided to do what everyone else should not, I slowly crawled out of the cave to retrieve Xiangling and bury her peacefully. 


“Xingqiu p-please don’t go…” Chongyun tried to grab my leg but didn’t reach it. More tears started to pour down Chongyun’s face like rain. 


“Don’t worry, I-i’m just getting Xiangling so we can bury her peacefully. After that I’ll stay by your side until the end.” I smiled, trying to reassure Chongyun.


“Ah, then I’ll help you.” Chongyun began crawling with me as well, he was scared that I knew. Yet he still came to get her corpse. But as we nearly reached the Xiangling, another body had dropped from above. It was Xinyan. It was clearly Xinyan. Yet, I almost couldn’t recognize her. I was only able to recognize her after I saw the matching bracelets the four of us got that one summer. 


That day was one of the most memorable days I could recall that year. It was a hot summer, a Saturday if I remember correctly. It was random, but Xiangling had randomly asked to go get matching friendship bracelets with all of us. I remember that day I snuck out since I was grounded to go get those bracelets. It was the same theme for each one, they had different colored beads and our initials. Mine was inky dark blue, Chongyuns was a calming light blue, Xianglings was a shimmering gold and Xinyan’s was a vibrant red. We spent hours upon hours picking the theme for our bracelet but we knew we had already decided the theme and was just wasting time. You might think it was inefficient, or weird. But that was just our fun at the time, though I do agree if you thought it was weird, I was happy. That’s all I could remember, I was happy. 


As soon as I saw that bracelet, I lost control. I started sobbing uncontrollably and begged them to wake up. At that point, I had already exited the cave. Chongyun was trying to comfort me. Well, that only lasted for a few minutes. 


Because after the same people who killed Xiangling and Xinyan, dropped a boulder onto the 4 of us. 


All because I wanted to let Xiangling and Xinyan have a grave. 


But the boulder was so long, it basically covered the entire cave's entrance and exit. 


Me and Chongyun would’ve died slowly.


So, at that moment I figured I had no regrets. 


Unfortunately, that’s a lie.


I do have one regret. 


Dear reader, though I’m not supposed to talk to you, I would like to tell you my regret. 


My last regret, actually, no. I have two regrets


My first regret was that I was never able to convince my mother, to accept her gay son.


My second, was that I never married Chongyun.



thank you, for being with me, at my last moment, chongyun. 

may we marry each other, in the after life. 

and let's have xiangling or xinyan be our brides maid. 

we can have them decide using rock scissors paper.

also... i'm sorry i didn't propose.

even though all the times we were alone together, i had that ring every time.

just incase i was brave enough, to do it.

once again, i'm sorry.

Chapter Text



“Shoot that boy.” Morax pointed at a certain redhead. At that moment, the victim had just been standing there, waiting for someone to find him. 


“Yes sir.” Ganyu aimed her arrow towards him, making sure he was done for. Never in her life had she missed any arrow towards the enemy. She swore to keep it that way. 


She let go of the arrow, it perfectly hit the man. “Great work. Xiao, go over there and take a picture of the man.” Morax ordered him around. 


“Morax, may I ask, why are we killing that man?” Xiao asked as he slowly began to pack his things, ready to teleport away and back. Ganyu was curious as well, but she never dared to ask. 


“Well, we’re simply doing this to provoke a little boy. Whose name starts with a K.” 

??? POV



“From what I know, each archon has a separate room that watches over all of us. If we infiltrate those rooms we can kill each archon one at a time.” Aether pointed at one of the rooms high above that were watching each and every person below. 


“That’s really risky if you ask me.” A young girl with long snow-like hair was on her knees, peeking through Lumine’s shoulder. She had light blue eyes and her hair was wavy. She was obviously under the age of 10 and was wearing an elegant vintage court dress. Though it was more for children rather than an adult, it was much shorter and the dress was made of cotton. Yet it remained its beauty. Her skin was clear but there was an obvious bit of makeup used to cover her face. 


“Little girl, what are you doing here?”  Lumine asked, it was weird as children weren’t allowed inside the battle field. For a child to be in this world, it would be wrong. 


“Ice lady told me to come over here and watch you guys!” The little gave them a big bright smile, just what they needed in a stressful time. Well, they didn’t need it but rather the others trembling in fear did. 


“What’s your name?” Albedo gave her a smile, it was pretty, yet it was fake. But the girl wouldn’t know right?


“Anya Balakin!” As she said her name, a cold breeze blew across them. It made them shiver, but Anya seemed used to it. If there were trees, you could say their leaves would wither away in seconds. 


“Anya has to go back now… Anya made a mistake.” She quickly took something out of her back. It was a little wand, using it she made an ice tower that pushed her into the sky. Using that, she ran away with no problems. But only problems for the others remain. 


Anya’s ice tower flew to The Tsaritsas room. She crashed into the window making the glass shatter into bits. It flew and hit Kazuha and Scaramouche, it wasn’t major, but Kazuha was bleeding. 


“Anya, I told you not to let them see you.” The Tsaritsa glared at the girl. The cryo archon was angry at her vessel. Scaramouche and Kazuha looked away, not in fear, but in sorrow. They held each other's hand, ready as what’s to come. It was an endless loop, but no one would end it. 


“Anya is sorry…” She apologized, but obviously it was not accepted. Scaramouche could feel the memories rushing back from his mind. The memory of his leadership came back to him, the memories he blocked away for so long. It was re-lived, with this young girl. 


Tsaritsa slapped the small girl across the face, she fell to the ground. She didn’t cry, but she wanted to. “This is what happens when you don’t listen to my directions, Anya.” She grabbed the little girl's arm and broke it. Anya finally began to cry, even though she didn’t want to. 


“Tch, go patch her up. Scaramouche, go attend the meeting with the archon vessels on her behalf” The Tsaritsa stomped out of the room, leaving the couple and the poor girl. She slammed the door, Scaramouche swore he saw a bit of guilt on her face. 


“Ok, I don’t have much time left to be here but there’s an instruction manual on how to fix broken bones somewhere in this room.” Scaramouche ordered Kazuha, in response he nodded and went to business. 


Scaramouche knocked on the door to the meeting room. The hard wood painted with gold made his knuckles hurt a little. “Excuse me.” He opened the door, only to see seven people in a room, six of them playing jenga.


“Where’s Anya?” Venti asked as he began tidying up the pile of jenga blocks that were kicked onto the floor by Ei. 


“Unfortunately she can’t make it, so I am here to attend.” Scaramouche said as he gave Ei a glance, she looked away out of sadness. 


“That’s a shame, but it is understandable. Have a seat.” Zhongli pointed at the seat next to him. 

“Seriously, why do we even have these if we’re just gonna play games, it’s not even a meeting at this point we’re just hanging out.” Murata sighed, Scaramouche looked at him in wonder and in embarrassment. 


“The archons want you guys to discuss important things, that’s all.” The hydro archon laughed. The hydro archon was often hostile and rude from what The Tsaritsa had told Scaramouche, she said that they never smiled, never talked or anything. They were simply this empty shell no one wanted to be associated with. That was the information given to him, he didn’t care, but he was surprised. 


Other than that, he knew for a fact that that day was going to be a long one.

Chapter Text

hi ik ive went on multiple hiatuses but i promise im working it out and my school has suddenly given me a high work load and im having super bad writers block and ive barely been able to write a paragraph a day but i promise when i have the energy and the motivation ill get to it :(