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Improved Diplomatic Relations

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Exploration missions can be fun. Sulu's certainly enjoyed the one to Elissinar IV; the people here are friendly, and after the first few minutes' adjustment to the differences in species (the Elissinar have three sets of arms; the women have two pairs of breasts, and they show them off under scraps of cloth that barely meet Federation social standards for decency; their skin color ranges from a deep, dark violet to a pale shade of lavender--Sulu can only imagine what the Elissinar think of humans, with their two arms and two breasts and brown-to-gold-to-pink skin tones), it seems they have quite a bit in common. The Elissinar aren't devoting the majority of their time and resources to space travel yet, but they're very interested in what the Federation has to offer.

Some of them are more interested than others. One of the aides to the planet's President-equivalent keeps looking at Kirk, and then at Sulu, and then back to Kirk again. Kirk catches Sulu's eye and smirks, and Sulu keeps taking notes on the planet's plantlife. Too many things in his life can be summed up with the phrase It's all Jim Kirk's fault, and, really, he's not looking for another.

But after the party gets to full swing, after Sulu's tried three different kinds of Elissinar wine (Napa Valley, he thinks, has nothing to worry about), Kirk comes over to him and slings an arm around his shoulders.

"Sulu! I found something you have got to see."

Sulu raises an eyebrow. It looks like Kirk's had more than three wine samples; in fact, it looks like he's had more than three full glasses. Sulu gently uncurls Kirk's arm from his shoulder and gives Kirk a firm slap on the back. "I'm fine, Captain, thanks."

"You're telling me you don't want to see a plant with a thirty-minute bloom cycle?" Kirk looks at Sulu through his eyelashes. "Because Dirandae says she's got this pretty little thing called a senna--nenna--sennanet, and she asked me... to ask you... if you wanted to go back to her room to look at it."

"No," Sulu says, crossing his arms over his chest. "First of all, you still owe me for the last time we went back to someone's room to check out their potted plants, and second of all, did I mention 'no'?"

"I didn't say the sennanet was potted."

Sulu groans and drops his face into his palm. "How long are you going to keep trying to talk me into this?"

"Under a minute."

Sulu glances through his fingers. "Really?"

"Because you're going to cave in about thirty-four seconds."

"I hate you."

"I know." Kirk gives Sulu his best shit-eating grin; Sulu sighs. "Hey, look, you really can just look at the plant if you want. Stick around for half an hour, watch the bloom cycle, come right back to the party. But nothing ventured, nothing gained, right?"

"And what are you expecting to gain?"

"Improved diplomatic relations with the Elissinar." Kirk's still got that stupid grin on his face, and Sulu sighs; he isn't going to make it all the way to thirty-four seconds, not with Kirk smiling like that.

He sighs and lets Kirk drag him off toward the door, where the aide from earlier--she's got to be Dirandae--is waiting for both of them.

"Dirandae, I'd like to officially introduce you to Lieutenant Hikaru Sulu," Kirk says. He takes one of Sulu's hands and one of Dirandae's, and sets them on top of each other--the traditional way of introducing people on Elissinar. Elissinar have a much easier time meeting multiple people at once than Terrans do; introductions took forever at the first official Terran-Elissinar gathering. "Sulu, this is Dirandae, aide to Lorend Mikaghoi."

"Very pleased to meet you," Dirandae says, batting her eyelashes at Sulu.

"Very pleased to meet you, too," Sulu agrees.

"Jim tells me you're interested in botany," Dirandae says. She traces her fingertips over the back of Sulu's hand. "Would you like to see my sennanet plant? It has a short bloom cycle, and my particular sennanet blooms in many different colors."

Kirk grins at both of them, and Sulu sighs inwardly. "I'd love to, thank you."

"Oh, wonderful! This way!"

Apparently Dirandae lives full-time in the president's--the Lorend's, rather--building, because they don't have to leave the cone-shaped structure in order to find Dirandae's rooms. It's a short walk up a spiraling staircase, and then Dirandae presses her middle left palm to a plate at a door marked with colorful symbols. Sulu wishes he'd taken a picture with his tricorder; Uhura would have loved another glimpse of the written Elissinar language.

Dirandae's rooms are large and open, with an arched window at the far end; as promised, there are several plants there, and Sulu notes that they are in pots. He glances at Kirk, who shrugs. Dirandae's already making her way to the window, where she flicks on a light; the plants, coiled up into tiny buds, begin ever-so-slowly (albeit lightning-quick compared to the movement of most plants) reacting to the light.

Despite himself, Sulu's intrigued, and he bends down to get a better look at the plants. They have spatulate leaves perhaps a centimeter square each, and like Earth plants, they're bright green. The leaves have reticulate venation, and Sulu's reaching for his tricorder before he remembers what he's actually supposed to be doing here.

He glances up at Dirandae, who grins at him. "Why, Hikaru, I didn't realize you were really so interested in plants. Perhaps I should have taken you to our atrium."

"Oh, I think here's just fine," Kirk says. As Sulu straightens up, Kirk slips an arm around Dirandae's back, and she puts one arm around his back, slides two hands up his chest, and reaches out to Sulu with the other three. Sulu sighs and slips into her embrace, which brings him up against Kirk, too, the three of them tangled together in Dirandae's limbs as Kirk bends his head down to kiss Dirandae.

Dirandae draws one of her hands up and down Sulu's back, and Sulu rests his hand on her back just below Kirk's hand. Kirk nuzzles against Dirandae's cheek; Sulu leans in and kisses her other cheek, slowly making his way across to her mouth. She turns her head toward him and kisses him, too, and there are hands all over him, so many hands, two on his back, two on his chest--that's four hands, and one of them's bigger than the others. Sulu reaches out and slides his left hand down Kirk's back, slipping it under his waistband. Kirk really does have a nice ass.

"Mmm... I like the way Terrans use their tongues," Dirandae murmurs. She giggles as Kirk trails his down the side of her neck. "Would you two care to go to bed now?"

"Oh, yes, I think we'd like that very much," Kirk murmurs, disentangling himself from both Dirandae and Sulu. Dirandae leads them over to the bed--a thick, enormous pad on the floor--and reaches two hands behind her neck to untie her halter, two behind her waist to untie the laces holding the rest of her shirt on, and her last two hands loosen the knot at her hip to release her sarong. It's all a very efficient way of getting undressed, and Sulu has to admit he's curious what she's got under her clothing.

He just wasn't expecting that. His eyes go a little wide, and he looks over at Kirk, eyebrows raised just a fraction. Kirk looks back and gives the almost-imperceptible shrug of I didn't know, either, but let's go for it anyway. Which is, of course, Jim Kirk through-and-through.

Still. Sulu's never had sex with an alien female who had five slender, prehensile tentacles between her legs before. They're the same pale lavender as the rest of her body, maybe twenty centimeters each in length, give or take three centimeters depending on which tentacle, and one of them is pierced, with a gold ring through the tip of it. As Sulu watches, that one beckons him forward with a "come here" gesture, much like crooking a finger. He laughs.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to stare," he says, looking back up--past her four breasts--to her face. "I've never--we don't have--it's different for Terrans."

"Oh, really? I can't wait to find out." She smirks at both of them and gestures with all six of her arms. "Come on, boys. Get those clothes off."

Kirk shrugs, Sulu shrugs back at him, and they quickly strip off, uniform shirts and undershirts first, boots and trousers and boxer-briefs after that. This time Dirandae's the one staring, and her lips form a round "O" of surprise.

"Only one?" she asks. "One each, that is. But so thick. How fascinating." She beckons them back over, and they both go, obligingly, getting within reach so she can stroke her hands down their chests and wrap her lowest hands around their cocks. "Oh, they're rigid--I mean--that's normal, yes?" She looks up at them, eyebrows drawn together slightly. "This is how it is with Terrans?"

"With Terran males, yes," Kirk says. He reaches down and covers her hand with his own, showing her how to stroke his cock. Sulu's busy looking down at the hand on his cock, which is squeezing and stroking and exploring, and when she slips a curious finger underneath his foreskin, he gasps, eyes narrowing slightly.

"Oh! I didn't mean to--did I--should I not do that?" Dirandae asks, drawing her finger back immediately. "I've never seen an erinanti with a, a, a... covering before." She grins.

"It's fine," Sulu says. He puts his hand on his cock and draws the foreskin back altogether, and her lips purse; she blushes a deeper shade of violet. "It rolls back, like this, and the skin beneath is very sensitive."

"Really?" One of her tentacles stretches out, and she carefully--whisper-gentle--strokes the head of his cock with the tip of her tentacle. Sulu groans out loud, eyes slamming shut, reaching out to clutch Kirk's shoulder for support. Kirk reaches out in response, catching Sulu around the back.


"Warm," Sulu moans, but it's not just that; there's a tingling sensation at the head of his cock where Dirandae's tentacle is touching him. She strokes it in a slow circle, around and around the head of his cock, and Sulu tightens his grip on Kirk. When he gets his eyes open, Kirk's still helping Dirandae stroke his cock--how she has that much coordination, Sulu can't imagine--but his eyes are focused on Sulu's face. His lips are parted, cheeks flushed with arousal.

"I think we'd better get horizontal," Kirk says. "Looks like Hikaru's going to fall over if we don't get him onto that bed."

"Maybe," Sulu mumbles. Dirandae giggles, and the three of them lower themselves onto the bed, sinking into the soft surface.

Dirandae cradles both of them in her arms--but she only needs two arms for that, her other four still free to explore. She turns and nuzzles at Kirk, then slides her tongue out between her lips and gently licks his cheek. Kirk grins at her and reaches up to cup one of her breasts, putting his mouth back on his, and--if the way his jaw's working is any indication--showing Dirandae yet another one of those ways Terrans use their tongues.

Sulu, meanwhile, slides his thigh onto Dirandae's, and she stretches out a tentacle to stroke his leg. He groans; that warm tingle's starting up again, in a path where her tentacle's been. She flicks out another one and wraps it around his cock, and he moans as it wraps around once--twice--three full times, and she starts stroking.

The heat's almost unbearable, and Sulu reaches out blindly, his hand finding Kirk's arm and holding on. Kirk breaks off his kiss and laughs, and then Kirk's kissing Sulu, openmouthed and teasing, tongue flicking into Sulu's mouth and drawing back, finally licking in nice and deep while Sulu keeps moaning. Dirandae kisses Sulu's cheek, then nuzzles over to Kirk and kisses Kirk's, and she flicks her tongue out and makes soft, tentative licks over both their jawlines, over their cheeks.

Kirk suddenly gasps, pulling away from Sulu, and Sulu gets his eyes open so he can see the look on Kirk's face. "Holy gods," Kirk moans; Sulu looks down at Kirk's cock, and yes, Dirandae's got a tentacle around his, too, and she's stroking both in unison. "Dirandae--you're so warm..."

"Do you like it?" she asks, breathless, grinning.

"God, yeah," Kirk says, and Sulu nods his agreement.

"What else do you do?" she asks, smiling. "What do you do with each other?"

Kirk looks at Sulu and raises both eyebrows, grinning broadly; Sulu can only nod. Having come this far, he's not going to say no to Kirk now. "Should I show you?" he asks Dirandae.

"Oh, please!"

"Do you have anything slippery...?"

"You don't--oh, I guess not, right..." She frowns and glances around her bedroom. "I might have some livandra oil in the bathroom, but it doesn't really stay slippery..."

"You could rim me," Sulu says, raising an eyebrow at Kirk. "I assume you were expecting me to bottom."

"Hey, only if you want to." Dirandae's watching the conversation with a great deal of interest, and Kirk smiles at her. "You were saying earlier that you like how Terrans use their tongues."

"Mmmmm," Dirandae says, bending her head up and licking Kirk's chin. "I do."

"Well, you'll probably love this, then." Kirk nods at Sulu. "Go on. Roll over."

Sulu rolls onto his stomach, pushing himself up on his forearms, and Kirk stretches out between his legs. He slides his hands up Sulu's thighs, then slips his thumbs between Sulu's cheeks and bends his head down, hot breath ghosting down over sensitive skin. Sulu shudders and lets his head drop down between his shoulder blades; Kirk chuckles at that. "Been a while?"

"Been a while since you," Sulu says. He glances behind himself; Kirk's grinning. "What are you waiting for, an invitation?" Kirk looks thoughtful for a moment; Sulu rolls his eyes. "Don't make me throw something at you."

"Okay, okay--" Kirk licks his lips, then slowly slides his tongue all the way up the length of Sulu's cleft, teasing with just a little more pressure at his hole. Sulu sucks in a breath, and Dirandae reaches over to card her fingers through his hair, then slides two of her other hands down his shoulders. Sulu groans softly, and Kirk keeps going, licking back and forth, tongue working against that tight ring of muscle until Sulu relaxes enough to let him in.

Kirk is really good at this. Sulu arches his neck, spreads his legs a little wider, groans again as the tip of Kirk's tongue moves into him and then slides back out. Kirk doesn't give a damn about being neat; he gets Sulu's hole nice and wet, licks back and forth, presses in about as deeply as Sulu imagines it's possible for him to go, and when he pauses, Sulu can guess what's coming next.

He's right, too: he feels two of Kirk's fingers, slick with spit, pressing against his opening, and Kirk works them in carefully, licking around them as he pushes them deeper and deeper. By this point, Sulu's mouth is wide open, and he's groaning and panting and pushing his hips back, trying to get more.

There's a sensation of heat down his face, a whispering, ghostlike sensation, and Sulu opens his eyes to see that Dirandae's kneeling next to him--and that sensation was one of her tentacles sweeping down his cheek. He looks up at her and smiles, and she smiles back.

"Your skin there--it's very rough," she murmurs.

"Stubble," Sulu manages to say, barely. "We--grow hair on our faces, and--"

"We have to shave it off daily," Kirk says, twisting his fingers in Sulu's ass. Sulu groans again, and this time, with his mouth open, that sensation of heat drags along his lower lip. Sulu gets his eyes open and sees Dirandae's tentacle--second one from the left, the one that's pierced--reaching out to him. He extends his tongue and lets her rest the tip of her tentacle against it, and the tingling heat spreads over his entire mouth, making him moan again. He rubs his tongue back and forth against the underside of her tentacle, and she makes a startled squeak and clutches onto his shoulders with two of her arms.

"Oh--more?" she pants, her other tentacles coming up and trailing over Sulu's face. Sulu closes his lips gently around her tentacle and sucks gently, tongue moving in circles around it, teasing at the ring. Dirandae shivers, fingernails digging into Sulu's shoulders, and Kirk pushes his fingers in harder, moving them in and out, adding more saliva until it's nearly a smooth glide.

"Hikaru," he murmurs. He bends his head down and bites the upper curve of Sulu's ass; Sulu hums around Dirandae's tentacle, and she moans, the tip of a second moving to Sulu's lips. He opens his mouth to take that one in, too. "Hikaru," Kirk says again. "You ready?"

Sulu's mouth is too full for him to say yes out loud, but he nods, hums out an affirmative noise, and he pushes up on his hands and knees. Dirandae goes with him, kneeling in front of him with two tentacles in his mouth, swirling around his tongue, and the other three still exploring his face, his cheeks, running through his hair. Kirk hesitates for just a moment--Sulu imagines he's adding a little more spit to his cock to make this as easy as he can for Sulu--and then starts pushing in, opening Sulu up, making him stop sucking and licking Dirandae's tentacles for a moment as he pants and concentrates on letting Kirk inside him.

Dirandae moves away from Sulu's face, crawling back along the bed and stretching out beside him. She slides a hand up Sulu's thigh, and Sulu looks back; she's looking at the way Kirk's cock is moving into Sulu's ass, and while he can't make out her expression from this angle, she's got two hands in her tentacles, fingers twirling around them, tentacles moving back and forth against each other. I wonder if that's why they need so many hands, Sulu wonders, for masturbating, but Kirk's finally all the way in, and he groans as Kirk holds onto his hips.

"Good?" Kirk murmurs. Sulu nods, and Kirk pulls back, slowly, and makes his way in again. It feels incredible--it'd be better with some lube, but it feels incredible as it is--and Sulu braces himself as Kirk keeps going, starting up a nice rough rhythm, one that's hard enough to burn in all the right ways.

"I want to join you," Dirandae breathes. She crawls over to Kirk; Sulu looks behind himself to see her kneeling up behind him. "May I? May I join you?"

"How do you want to do it?" Kirk asks. He stops, holding still once he's deep inside Sulu, and then he spreads his legs apart. Sulu can just barely feel the tip of one of Dirandae's tentacles brush against the base of his cock; they're not long enough to reach any further. She makes a frustrated noise, and Kirk pulls back, slips out of Sulu's body. "It's okay," Kirk says. "Let's try a different position."

He rolls over on his back, and Sulu starts to straddle him, but Kirk shakes his head and gestures in a circle with his fingers. "No, turn around--face her." That makes sense, and Sulu holds onto Kirk's cock, steadying it and lowering himself down again. It still burns, but it's not a bad burn, more of an intense stretch at this point. Once Kirk's got him all, Sulu leans back some and catches himself on his hands. Kirk grabs for some of the pillows on the bed and props himself up; he's at an angle where he can watch Dirandae now.

Dirandae kneels between their legs and grins, stroking one pair of her hands down Sulu's chest, sliding the others over both their thighs. "This is much better," she says, smiling. She licks her lips, brows furrowing together slightly in concentration, and the tentacle with the piercing comes up and wraps around Sulu's cock. Sulu groans out loud--he can just barely feel the smooth rigidity of the little gold ring against his skin, in amidst all the warmth of her tentacle, and he pushes himself up a little further so he can see where the rest of her tentacles are going.

Two of them are twisted together, making a single unit about the same width as an average-sized cock, and Dirandae reaches down and squeezes them gently, rubbing them back and forth until a slight sheen appears. She braces herself on their thighs, and moves those two tentacles down to Kirk's ass; Kirk shifts slightly, getting his ass tilted towards her, and when the tips of her tentacles start moving in, Kirk comes halfway off the bed, getting one arm around Sulu's waist, panting hard.

"Oh, God, you're so hot," he groans, face pressed to Sulu's back. "Come on, more, more, please--"

Dirandae grins broadly and presses in deeper; she wraps another tentacle around Sulu's balls, and unless Sulu's very much mistaken, the fifth goes around Kirk's balls. "Careful," Sulu says, voice strained. "Those are incredibly sensitive to pressure and--impact and--" And the way she's got her tentacle wrapped around them feels amazing. There's an undulating sensation against them, almost a rolling, and Sulu stops talking, groaning as the tentacle with the little gold ring starts jerking him off.

Kirk's moving faster, too, starting to drive his cock into Sulu's ass, and Sulu moans and just enjoys every last overwhelming bit of it. Dirandae bends her head down and kisses him, and he kisses her back, his moans muffled by her lips. He gasps as she licks in deeply, her tongue moving in just a little too hard, but it's all good, everything's good right now, her mouth and those tentacles and Kirk's cock, and Sulu's not sure which of them's going to come first, not sure how that even works for Dirandae. He does his best to hold off, but God, it's not going to be easy--

It's not him first, though. Kirk's grip around Sulu's waist tightens hard, and he shoves up roughly, driving his cock into Sulu's ass with that brutal, staccato force that Sulu knows means he's about to come. He can't see Kirk's expression, but he can picture it: brows drawn together, mouth open wide, gasping, panting, and finally coming hard, cock jerking in Sulu's ass. Dirandae squeals with the pulses--Kirk must be clenching up tight around her tentacles, and Sulu can only wonder if that feels as good to her as it always does to him when he's the one in Kirk.

But then it's his turn, Dirandae's squeals and strokes and Kirk's cock pulsing in his ass driving him up and over, and he comes in wet, sticky jets that fall over Dirandae's tentacle; she squeaks again at that, looking down at his cock, and she quickly loosens her grip so she can get the come underneath her tentacle, using it to make a slicker glide as she keeps jerking him. He reaches out and puts a hand over her tentacle and his cock, wincing; the heat's almost unbearable now.

She nods and closes her eyes, and there's a buildup of heat that's so intense Sulu cries out--and then it's over, Dirandae falling forward onto both of them, Sulu collapsing onto Kirk, Kirk grunting as he takes the combined weight of both their bodies.

"Oh," Dirandae groans. She tosses her hair back and grins down at both of them. "Very different. But I liked it."

"Me, too," Sulu says, grinning up at her.

"That makes three of us," Kirk says, "but you guys are heavy. C'mon." He nudges at Sulu, who helps Dirandae roll off them and then climbs off Kirk himself. "Oh, God, there we go." Kirk rolls over on his side and spoons up behind Sulu, and Dirandae turns over and lets Sulu spoon up behind her, and together, the three of them take a long, slow breath, and a quiet nap.

* * *

"Good God, Sulu, what happened to your face?" McCoy runs his scanner back and forth past Sulu's face, and he's sure the blush that's starting to kick up isn't making him look any prettier. His face is streaked with purple--a reaction that came up only after they left Elissinar IV, thank God.

"I, um..." Sulu looks at Kirk, who's leaning forward against one of the medical tables, teeth gritted together. "We sort of--"

"That pretty little aide? Doranda?"

"Dirandae," Sulu corrects, wincing as McCoy touches his cheek. "Ow! That stings!"

"I bet it does," McCoy says, rolling his eyes. "You know, first biological contact is a tricky business, and you really ought to leave it to professionals to do in a clinical setting."

"I know," Kirk says. He grimaces. "Please tell me you can do something about this."

"Do I even want to know where you're hurting? Don't answer that." McCoy finds a hypo and checks the dosage. "I'm giving you a triple dose of antihistamine, which, by the way, is going to knock you flat on your ass for the better part of a day."

"Not my ass," Kirk says, groaning. "I don't even want to lie on it. Maybe you can strap me to a table or something and we can keep me upright."

McCoy rolls his eyes even harder at Kirk, coming over with the hypo. Kirk winces, but he lets McCoy inject him. "Like I told you the first time I caught you shoving something up your ass without thinking, there are some things that need to be checked out first."

"So you're saying I need my doctor's medical approval for anything I want to shove up my ass?" Kirk gives McCoy that grin, the one that got Sulu into trouble in the first place. "Do you have any suggestions?"

"Get out of my sickbay, you pervert," McCoy says, shaking his head. "And if this happens again on the next planet you two land on, I'm kicking it over to Nurse Chapel."

Sulu sobers up immediately. "I'll be careful."

"Yeah, I'm sure you will," McCoy says. "You get back to your quarters, all right? And let me know if you need anything."

"What about me?" Kirk says, still grinning. "What if I need something?"

"Jim, I'm pretty sure you wouldn't stop to ask me if you needed something," McCoy says. He gently shoves Kirk at Sulu. "Make sure he gets back to his quarters safely," McCoy tells Sulu. "And both of you--one day's full bed rest. Doctor's orders."

"Yes, sir," Sulu says. Kirk just grins over his shoulder at McCoy as Sulu drags him out of the doctor's office.

In the turbolift, Sulu leans back against the wall and sighs. His face still itches; he hopes the purple streaks fade out soon, but if they don't... well, at least he knows Kirk's suffering just as badly. "You know the one thing I'm not going to forgive you for anytime soon?"

"What's that?"

Sulu grins at him. "I never did get to see that plant."