Kao felt void of everything. He walked on the streets of Bangkok aimlessly as his mind replayed one scene like a broken tape.
"Kao, do you know why I called you today?", P'Sun asked seriously.
Kao was bouncing on the balls of his feet in excitement waiting for the proposal.
"Yes, to talk about us right?", he was giddy.
"Yes, um, I'm not sure how are you going to take this."
"I'm fine, give it to me already.", Kao was dying in anticipation of the news. P'Sun took off his glasses and rubbed the bridge of his nose.
"Kao, I think we should take a break.", It was like a bucket of cold water on him.
"Yeah, let's take a break please."
"It's not you, it is me. I'm not feeling the same."
"Did you find someone better, P?"
"Then, where am I lacking?", Kao was almost whining, "Tell me, How can I fix this, at least talk to me P before taking such a big decision."
"We are taking a break, Kao, not breaking up."
"It eventually leads to that."
"Look, it just I want to think about us again."
"Is it about sex, P? I'm sorry I'm not like your girls-"
"Kao! It's not about that chill up."
"Then what is it about?"
"Let's talk about this when you feel better okay?"
P'Sun walked out of the door leaving Kao stunned. Great, now I'm being dumped at 27 for not being good enough, Kao thought to himself.
He followed Sun out of the conference room into the empty office. They worked in the same office and it started when they hooked up in the storage room about a year ago. Kao knew he was a playboy and had the least expectations from him. He was expecting this to come 6 months ago not then after a year of the relationship, after discussing their future.
Kao was pulled back to the present when someone pushed past him. He stumbled a bit caught himself before falling face down on the street. The person apologized quickly and rushed off to his destination. He looked around confused trying to understand where he ended up.
"Lost and found.", he read on the board of a gay bar, "How ironic?", he laughed to himself and walked in.
It was a quiet place with smoke and dim lights. The couches and booths scattered far enough to give privacy. There was a dance floor in the center which was empty as there was soft music playing in the atmosphere.
Kao walked to the bar counter on the opposite side and slumped on the stool with his face in his arms.
"A broken heart's drink.", a voice smooth as velvet made him lookup.
The man was wearing a dress shirt with a vest with his hair styled neatly which fell onto his eyes perfectly. The bartender looks hot, a fleeting thought passed through Kao's mind which he quickly dismissed by thinking, you just went through a breakup Kao.
"Thank you.", he said to the man and took a sip of the transparent concoction with mint leaves. It was pretty smooth for alcohol but it started showing its effect after a while. The bartender came back and asked,
"Did you like it?"
"Yeah, but can you get me a shot?", Kao wanted something strong to be drunk so he can forget about his ex for a while.
"Will you be able to take it?"
"Everything is acceptable after the broken heart's drink."
"Wait up", the cute bartender's fierce face softened up into a smile.
He got him a shot with a glass rimmed with salt and some lemon. Kao picked the drink and gulped it down in one go. The heat of the drink left a trail of burn down his throat which was followed by the sour taste of the lemon immediately. His face scrunched up and he felt light-headed.
"Cocktails are better for you.", the man concluded and went off again.
"I know what I like.", Kao mumbled under his breath and stumbled towards the dance floor which was now filled with drunk men poorly moving to the beats. Kao joined them to show them what dance actually felt like. He let himself freely move to the music. He had grabbed quite a lot of attention with the way he was dancing. Many hawks were ready to pounce on him which was making someone behind the counter look at him possessively despite meeting him for the first time.
Kao felt someone grab his waist from behind and thinking it is Sun he turned around to see a friend with deep hazel eyes staring back at him. He had long hair which was tied back in a man bun.
"Where is your boyfriend?", he asked leaning into his ear.
"We broke up.", Kao felt a pang of sorrow.
"You deserve better anyways.", the guy pulled him close.
"Did Sun send you here?"
"No, I was here with June when I saw you dancing like a pro here."
"Hmm...", Kao felt like crying but there were no tears.
"Hey, you okay?", Thada asked pulling him into a hug.
"Anytime Kao.", he said that, and Kao was pulled away by someone from his arms. Kao's eyes locked on the hand which was holding his arm. He slowly looked up and saw the cute bartender glaring at Thada.
"Is he troubling you, Khun?", he asked calmly.
Kao was speechless and Thada was confused.
"The bar is full of savages.", he said lowly to Kao which pulled him out of his reverie.
"I know him and he is a friend, Khun...", he checked the tag for the first time, "Pete."
"Come with me.", Pete started dragging him away.
"Kao...", Thada wanted to follow but June called him back.
"I'll call you later, Thada.", Kao mouthed while he was being dragged.
"Why did you do that Pete?", Kao asked as he settled on the barstool again.
"It didn't look like he was a friend.", Pete said frowning
"Umm, why do you care?"
"I don't like innocent men being conned.", Pete's eyes bore into his making him shiver in a good way.
"Okay, so can you get me a shot?", Kao felt like he lost his high in this but he was also infuriated by this bartender.
"I want a Pete special body shot.", Kao's mouth still ran faster than his brain as he was thinking about the muscles under the shirt. Pete stared at him too shocked to react.
"Where do I get it from?", Kao asked innocently to cover up the previous sentence.
"Umm...", Pete was flustered by the direct question, "We don't do that here."
"So, where do you do it?"
"Here.", Pete quickly poured him a random shot and fled away from there. Kao downed it in one go. It burned his throat but the pain was welcome, it eased the heartache somehow.
"Kao, we are leaving.", Thada came up beside him, "Come on, let us drop you home."
"No, I don't want to go home-e", he slurred.
"Kao, come on you are already very drunk."
Pete returned glaring at Thada asking Kao something.
"Are you really his friend or are you taking advantage of him?", Pete asked sternly.
"I'm his friend and Kao, come on before I call Sun to drag you out of here."
"We broke up already, it doesn't matter.", Kao stuck out his tongue, "I want a Pete special body shot."
This drunk case wasn't helping Pete. He was feeling bad for the guy but also feeling horny with his antics.
"It's okay, I'll take care of him.", Pete volunteered.
"How will we know you are going to take advantage of him?", June spoke for the first time.
Pete scrawled an address and a phone number on a tissue paper and handed it to Thada.
"This is my address, come get him tomorrow."
They looked once over for Pete and continued convincing Kao to come to with them. Kao was not ready to budge without the body shot.
"If I see him crying tomorrow, you are dead.", June threatened Pete before leaving.
"Do you do this often?", Pete asked Kao.
"Asking random bartenders for body shots?"
"No, I only do it to hot bartenders who catch my eye and pulls me away from my friends.", Kao smirked before going off to the dance floor.
Kao danced till his feet hurt and then ended up sleeping on the bar counter. Pete's shift ended at 3 am after the bar had closed and they were cleaning up. Kao was sleeping on the counter using his hands as a pillow. Pete stared at the sleeping boy tracing at the curve of his lips to slightly puffy and red cheeks.
"Kao", he called gently a tone which rarely used, "Kao."
"hmm", Kao groggily looked up rubbing his eyes.
"Cute", Pete muttered under his breath before continuing, "Its time to go home."
"yay, body shot.", the high Kao stood up supporting himself to the counter and stumbling around. Pete decided to carry him on his back instead of letting him walk.
They reached home without an incident and Pete laid him out on his bed. Kao had a dazed expression as he was laid out in a starfish position.
"Pete", Kao called him out softly.
"Hmm?", Pete didn't feel good with his tone.
"Am I not good enough to be loved?", he asked
Pete didn't know how to answer this and Kao suddenly looked very sober.
"Take a shower first and then I'll think about it."
Kao got up obediently and walked to the shower. Ten minutes later he was back in the same position with Pete's clothes and puffy eyes from crying in the shower. He asked the same question again.
"Look, I don't know you well. I don't know why your ex broke up with you but if you ask me if I would have a boyfriend like you, I would never make him feel this way."
Kao's eyes welled up again as he rested his forearm on his and let his tears flow freely without wanting to show them. Pete didn't know how to react to this again, he laid beside him and pulled him into a hug to let him cry till his heart's content. When his sobs died down to sniffles Pete pulled away from him when all he wanted was to hold him close.
"I want to forget him.", Kao looked at Pete determinedly.
"Kao, I think we should-", before Pete could complete saying Kao pressed his lips on him and moved slowly nibbling on his lower lip for entrance. Pete moaned slightly before giving him access. They deepened the kiss as their tongues mingled together. Pete was first to pull away for breath.
"Kao, this will not end rightly.", Pete said breathlessly.
"Who wants to end this, I want to forget.", he said again.
"Are you sure?", Pete's hands were on his waist as they rubbed circles on it.
Clothes were discarded in a flash. The feverish kisses were turned into demanding and long ones. The hands roamed all over the bodies trying to feel each muscle flex under their fingertips.
"Mark me.", Kao moaned as Pete was dropping a feathery kiss on his jaw and chin. Pete wrapped his hand around Kao's neck leaving some bite marks on the smooth pale flesh. Pete tried to pull away reluctantly but Kao pulled him back and held him tightly.
"Make me forget."
Pete smirked once before unleashing an insatiably erotic side which made Kao moan till his throat was sore. He was so lost in the please of Pete penetrating him that he thought he was a virgin again. They lost count of the rounds they did or when they fell asleep.
Kao woke up after a while and saw Pete figure shuffling with something.
"You taking my money>", Kao slurred, "You are leaving me too?", he felt a sharp pain lower back and he laid back on the bed.
"Shh, rest well, I'll be right back.", Pete said as he pulled the comforter over Kao and ruffled his hair.
The next time he woke up he was snuggled into Pete's waist.
"Are you up?", Pete asked lazily drawing patterns on Kao's back.
"Your ex-boyfriend was here."
Kao sat up without a warning and the pain in his back intensified. He almost cried out in pain but groaned instead. Pete pulled him closer and asked,
"Are you okay?"
"Yeah.", Kao gritted his teeth. He laid back down as it was the best choice so far.
"What did P'Sun say?"
"He asked about you but I told him you were sleeping."
"not to bother looking for you."
"Why would you say that?", Kao again tried to sit up this time bearing the pain.
"Coz you are mine now."
"You said we'll get married tomorrow?"
"No, I didn't."
"Oh you very well did and how this was the best fuck too and if you were you would have been pregnant by now."
"But anyways, do you want to back after what we did?"
"I thought you had left.", Kao grumbled as he snuggled in his chest.
"Not leaving you so easily."