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Six Sessions

Chapter Text

Iwaizumi was not an angry person. He really wasn’t. And he certainly didn’t have anger issues. But it did really piss him off that the dean seemed to think that he did.

In his defense, he was having a bad day.

It was the first day of classes, and his alarm didn’t go off, resulting in him rushing out of his apartment and forgetting his lunch. He was an hour late to his lecture and attracted stares when he’d burst through the door in a panic.

Then, after realizing he was in the wrong class, he’d tried to leave inconspicuously, tripped on the stairs, and landed flat on his face in front of everyone.

When he finally made it to the right class, the asshole sitting next to him spilled juice all over his lap, and he had to trudge back to his apartment only to find that he’d left his keys sitting on his counter.

“Damn!” he pulled out his phone and dialed, “Hanamaki. I need a favor.”

You need a favor? What happened to big, strong ‘I-have-my-own-apartment-now-so-suck-it’ Iwaizumi?”

“Just shut up and bring my extra key. I’m locked out and my pants are all sticky.”

“Ew dude.”

Iwaizumi groaned and leaned against the wall. “Can you just-”

“Yeah yeah I'm on my way.”

It took Hanamaki twenty minutes to get to his apartment in which Iwaizumi spent avoiding the weird glances he got from passersby. “Looks like someone didn’t have a good first day,” Hanamaki said as he handed over the key.

“Whatever.” Iwaizumi shouldered open the door and threw his stuff on his coffee table before going to his room. Hanamaki flopped down on the couch and started rummaging through his bag.

He pulled out a couple of papers and frowned. “Your classes look so boring. What is all this science shit?”

“I’m studying sports medicine.” Iwaizumi called from the other room, “I have to learn the science shit first.”


“I’m sorry. Not everyone has a fun major. What’s yours again? Undeclared?”

“That’s low man.” Hanamaki threw Iwaizumi’s syllabi back on the table and turned on the TV.

“Hey, I’m going to take a quick shower, and then, you wanna get something to eat on campus?”

“Only if I can bring Issei.”

“Oh, he’s Issei now?”

“Shut up.”

Iwaizumi had only hung out with Matsukawa a couple of times. They first met when Hanamaki had dragged Iwaizumi to a frat party, disappeared, and then came back with the guy. He thought Matsukawa was pretty chill on his own but when he was with Hanamaki…

Iwaizumi shoved another fry in his mouth as he watched them from across the booth. Hanamaki was practically sitting in Matsukawa’s lap, both of them snickering over a picture on Matsukawa’s phone.

“You guys are insufferable,” he grumbled.

Hanamaki stuck out his tongue. “You’re just jealous cause Matsukawa replaced you as my best friend.”

“Actually I’m kind of relieved. I was getting tired of you sending me pictures of Kermit the Frog,” he sipped his drink as Hanamaki’s face morphed into horror.

“Who doesn’t like Kermit the Frog memes?”

“Nobody would like them if they were shoved in their faces every five seconds.”

Matsukawa shook his head, “I see why you dropped him. Man has horrible taste.”



“Downright offensi-”

“Okay, I get it.”

Matsukawa grinned. “You know what Hanamaki? I think Iwaizumi’s a little grumpy today.”

“Yes, you’re right Matsukawa. I think he needs a meme.”

“I swear if there’s a fucking frog muppet on your screen--”

There was a noise of disgust from somewhere behind them and the three boys turned to look at the source. A guy around their age with long hair was sneering at Hanamaki and Matsukawa squished together on their side of the booth. “I can’t believe they let people like that hang around our school. If I had my way, they wouldn’t even be allowed to step foot on campus.”

At that, Matsukawa disentangled himself from Hanamaki and scooted out the booth. The crestfallen look on Hanamaki’s face as he watched the other leave hastily was enough to drive Iwaizumi over the edge.

He had already been having a shitty day but this? This made everything--waking up late, embarrassing himself, the spilled juice, the left behind keys, Hanamaki’s dejected look from across the table--everything just come crashing down on his shoulders, and Iwaizumi had had enough.

He got up and beelined to the kid. “What did you just say?”

The kid stood his ground and smirked, “I said I can’t believe they let people like that in our school.”

“Like what?” Iwaizumi growled.

“Like fa-”

Iwaizumi’s fist slammed right into the other’s face with a resounding crunch. The kid wailed in pain and Iwaizumi distinctly heard Hanamaki whoop in the corner.

And then, suddenly, he found himself sitting in the dean’s office being yelled at as the kid smirked from the sidelines.

He was only half-listening, more upset that he was the one in trouble instead of that dickhead. It was like this day couldn’t get any shittier.

He glared at the kid who shrunk back a little. Good. You better be scared of me asshole. Because if I catch you saying any of that shit to my friends again, I’ll break more than your precious little nose.

“Due to the circumstances, I’m not going to suspend you,” the dean was saying, “but you’re going to be required to have six weeks of anger management sessions every Friday with Dr. Nakamura.”

Six weeks of anger management sessions.

Sessions that started the second he was dismissed from the dean’s office. Iwaizumi glanced around the empty waiting room with its cream-colored walls and ugly painting of flowers.

This was going to be a nightmare.

“Iwaizumi Hajime?” someone called and he lifted himself off the stiff plastic chair with a sigh and followed the attendant down the hall.

Being a psychology major was fun. You got to learn how the mind worked and how other people thought the mind worked. Mainly the latter half of that sentence but still.

It was cool stuff to Oikawa. He’d always been interested in learning how thoughts are processed and what made people tick.

He’d been lucky enough to be able to transfer to a university with a great psychology department with an internship program that actually allowed students to shadow the counselors at the school. There was no better training in Oikawa’s opinion.

Sure it came at a cost. He had to move four hours away from his hometown, which meant having to figure out how to maintain a long-distance relationship with his boyfriend, Sato. They’d had to draw up a schedule in which they would take turns visiting each other over the weekends and they even started making plans for the holidays and festivals in between.

It was the only thing that assured Oikawa that they’d be alright.

The program also came with a lot of paperwork: NDAs and doctor-patient confidentiality forms and other legal work that Oikawa didn’t bother to read over. He just filled them all out and signed whatever papers were given to him, eager to meet Dr. Nakamura, one of the most prestigious psychologists in the country.

“I’m telling you, Yahaba-kun. This year is going to be the best!” Oikawa beamed, holding his phone between his ear and his shoulder as he balanced his textbooks in his arms.

“Yes I know you’ve been raving about it all week,” his roommate replied, “It’s been giving me a headache.”

“Aw I’m sure Mad Dog-chan will make it all better,” he heard a disgruntled noise in the background. “Ooo! Is he there now?”

Yahaba evaded the question, “Doesn’t your first day with Dr. What’s-His-Face start in five minutes?”

Oikawa checked his watch. Shit. “Oops gotta go! Make sure to use protection~” then he ended the call quickly before Yahaba could curse him out.

Right… Now, where was the psychology building again? He shouldered his bag, readjusted his books, and took off across campus.

Oikawa signed in with the receptionist at the front then scurried to the oak door emblazoned with his mentor’s name on it. He took a moment to comb his fingers through his hair and straighten his shirt as best he could (first impressions were so important) before he opened the door.

He noticed the subject was already there, seated stiffly on the couch across from the psychologist. He seemed to be around Oikawa’s age, bulky, tan, with dark spiky hair. The subject also scrunched up his face as soon as they made eye contact.

“Hello, doctor! I’m so sorry I’m late,” Oikawa shook Nakamura’s hand.

“It’s no problem. Take a seat.” Nakamura gestured to the couch across from him where the subject was sitting.

Oikawa placed his bag and books on the table between them, then settled himself as far away from the stranger as he could. He made sure to angle his body so that he was facing both the subject and Dr. Nakamura then took out some paper, clicked his pen, and sat back to observe.

“Now I understand we’ve been having some issues,” Nakamura said with a smile.

The subject looked irritated, “I’m sorry,” he jabbed his thumb in Oikawa’s direction, “Does he have to be here?”

Oikawa bristled. This guy… It was like he thought that Oikawa was here to collect personal information and then gossip about him. Couldn’t he see that Oikawa was professional, here to shadow a well-renowned psychologist? “You have a problem with me being here?”

“Yeah actually, I kind of do.”

Nakamura cleared his throat. “I’m sorry Iwaizumi, but it would be best to conduct this session with both of you in the room.”

“Yeah, Iwa-chan. Chill out.” Oikawa muttered.

Apparently, he wasn’t quiet enough, because he received a murderous glare from Iwaizumi. “Don’t call me that.”

“Seems like we need to work on your communication skills,” Nakamura continued, jotting something down on his pad. Oikawa copied the words “bad communication skills” diligently ignoring the hard stare of Iwaizumi.

(No, you know what? Screw it. As long as he was going to be an asshole to Oikawa, he was going to call him Iwa-chan. Fuck that guy.)

Nakamura finished writing his notes and sat back in his chair. “We’re going to start off this session with one question: What does the word ‘love’ mean to you?”

Iwa-chan’s face soured. “Can we do a different question?”

Nakamura turned to Oikawa. “Why don’t you go first?”

Oikawa had to admit this was a weird part of the session. He was only supposed to be shadowing, which meant that he was supposed to remain a bump on a log, a potted plant in the corner of the room, a pillow on the couch he was currently sitting on.

Maybe he was being tested…

“Well,” Oikawa straightened up. “According to Sternberg, the three components of love are intimacy, passion, and commitment. So to me, love would be the perfect combination of those three.”

Iwa-chan scoffed. “You make it sound like a formula.”

“Do you have a better answer?” Oikawa shot back.

Iwa-chan frowned, “I just think that love is about caring for another person through thick and thin. It’s supporting them when they need it and making sure they don’t do anything stupid.”

Oikawa rolled his eyes, “Ugh, yours sounds so cheesy.”

“Those are both very good answers.” Nakamura interrupted before Iwa-chan could retort, “Let's delve into those more. Oikawa, you said that love means a combination of intimacy, passion, and commitment. Which one of those things do you think you’re missing from your life right now?”

“Uh…” Oikawa glanced over at Iwa-chan, who was playing with a button on his jacket, disinterested.

Maybe this shadowing thing was more interactive than he thought? Was he supposed to help pry answers out of Iwa-chan by providing personal examples?

“I-I don’t know?” He thought about his and Sato-chan’s relationship. He’d like to think that they had all those things. The only real problem right now was… “I guess intimacy?”

“And what about you Iwaizumi?”

“All of them.”

Nakamura raised his eyebrows and scribbled more things on his notebook. “I see. I see. Well, that is very concerning.”

Huh... Iwa-chan was single?

Oikawa began to analyze his couch partner. Iwa-chan wasn’t that bad-looking. He was in good shape, probably went to the gym every day based on the size of his arms and thighs (there was probably a six-pack under that baggy shirt too). His eyes were a lovely shade of olive green and his short spiky hair suited him well. And based on his answer to the love question, he seemed to be a romantic, even though he had a grumpy face.

So how come he was still single?

“Now I have some homework for you two.” Oikawa could see Iwa-chan hold in a groan as Nakamura slid over a couple of slips of pink paper across the table. They each took one. “I want you to take this quiz online and follow the instructions accordingly. Bring back the results for our next session together alright?”

Oikawa read the paper. It was titled “The Love Language Quiz” in big loopy letters followed by a url. He glanced over at Iwa-chan, who looked confused. “Is this it?”

Nakamura nodded. “We’re having a short session today. Next week will be much longer as we’ll be discussing your results and doing some practice exercises.”

Iwa-chan scowled, “Fantastic.”

“Alright. I’ll see you both next week.”

Nakamura got up and held his office door open for them. Iwaizumi swung his bag over his shoulder and strode out immediately. Oikawa fumbled with his things and Nakamura waited for him to shuffle out before closing the door promptly behind him.

Chapter Text

Iwaizumi put off his homework from Dr. Nakamura until the night before his next session.

It wasn’t that it was hard to do; he just had much more important things on his plate like the 7-page research paper one of his professors had assigned him (who assigns papers on the second week of school?) and the surprise anatomy exam he had had to endure this morning.

On top of all that, Hanamaki had also taken to wallowing on Iwaizumi’s couch because Matsukawa had been avoiding him since The Incident.

“Why don’t you just talk to him?” Iwaizumi said after Hanamaki had barged in and careened onto his couch next to him for the sixth time this week.

“I’m trying! I see him in Math 151 twice a week and every time I try to sit next to him, he just moves as far away from me as possible. And if I see him in the hallways, he turns the other way! And look at this!” he shoved his phone in front of Iwaizumi’s face. “The only text he’s sent me in the last six days was ‘when’s our homework due?’ No memes, no emojis, just ‘when’s our homework due.’” he buried his hands in his face and groaned. Iwaizumi gave him a sympathetic pat.

“I’ll see if I can talk to him for you. I mean,” Iwaizumi sighed. “I have to take a love quiz for my anger management sessions but as soon as I’m done--”

“Woah woah woah! Love quiz?” Hanamaki shot up, “Why are they making you take a love quiz for anger management?”

“I don’t know because love is the opposite of anger?” Iwaizumi shrugged, “Seems stupid.”

Hanamaki smirked, “You think it’s going to expose you as the giant teddy bear you are?”

Iwaizumi rolled his eyes. “Probably. I don’t care if the psychologist knows though because of all that doctor-patient confidentiality crap, but there’s this other guy that’s sitting in during our sessions and he seems like a total douche.”


“Maybe. I don’t know. I don’t care. I just don’t like him.” He thought back to the smug look on Oikawa’s face he had worn the entire session and scowled.

“What’s he look like? Maybe I can find him on campus and threaten him.”

Iwaizumi laughed, “Yeah because you’re the most intimidating person I know.”

“Hey I can be scary when I wanna be okay?” he ignored Iwaizumi’s scoff, “Now what does he look like?”

“He’s around your height. Brown hair, brown eyes.”


Iwaizumi paused to think.

Overall, he had been more irritated at the fact that some random guy was sitting in on his sessions. It felt like an invasion of privacy when that boy with the perfectly styled hair and form-fitting slacks had burst into the room and just plopped down next to him. It was especially worse when he felt that bastard watching him the entire time with those big doe eyes.

It had pissed him off. He had pissed him off. But if Iwaizumi was being completely honest, he had remembered thinking, in the very very back of his mind, that Oikawa was kind of-- “Pretty.”

“Nice.” Hanamaki’s grinned, “Brunette, pretty, and pisses you off? Sounds like just your type.”

Iwaizumi frowned, “Who said that is my type?”

“Please, I’m not stupid. There’s been a pattern with your exes since high school.” Hanamaki’s grin widened and he continued in a sing-song voice, “You’re gonna fall in love~”

“I’m gonna kick your ass~,” Iwaizumi said, mimicking his tone.

“You can’t deny it. I can already see the love blooming in your eyes.” Hanamaki folded his arms behind his head. “Trust me. In a couple of weeks, you’re gonna be dating him so hard.”

“Sure. I’ll ask him out when you tell Matsukawa about your insane crush on him.”

Hanamaki flushed. “I do not have a crush on Iss--Matsukawa.

Iwaizumi hummed, “Matsukawa Takahiro has a nice ring to it.”

“Shut up! Go take your stupid love quiz, Iwaizumi.”

The Love Language quiz was a lot easier to answer than Iwaizumi had thought. All he had to do was pick which of the two options was more meaningful to him and after about thirty questions, he got his result.

Hanamaki, who’d gone to the kitchen to make some instant ramen, read the result over his shoulder. “Why am I not surprised?”

“Is it that obvious?”

“That you express love through Acts of Service? Hell yeah.” Hanamaki moved to sit next to him. “I mean you do nice things for people all the time. Look at this past week. You punched that asshole for me. You let me crash at your place. And you promised to talk to Matsukawa for me, which I’m still holding you to by the way.”

“You should take this too,” Iwaizumi said as he screenshotted his result. “Might help you with your love problems.”

“Nah. I already know what mine is.”

“Really?” Iwaizumi looked at him in surprise.

“Yeah. Receiving gifts.” Hanamaki slurped at his noodles then continued with his mouth full, “Ah-bee-us-ly.”

Iwaizumi rolled his eyes. “You’re just saying that because you want presents.”

“Nah-shense.” Hanamaki gulped, “You see this cup of noodles that you bought? By letting me eat this, I know you’re telling me you love me.”

“So I should keep letting you eat my ramen?”

“Exactly.” Hanamaki leaned back on the couch, “Oh, and throw in some cream puffs too just so there’s no confusion.”

Iwaizumi shook his head, grinning. “You’re ridiculous.”

“Yeah but you love me.”

“I’m never gifting you anything ever again.”

me: when do u think u’ll have a break Sato-chan~ I miss uuu >(; n ;)>

<3 Sato-chan <3: How can you miss me already? We video-called last week.

me: Yeah but that was last week! And through a screen!! I miss ur cuddles :((

<3 Sato-chan <3: You’re so dramatic.

<3 Sato-chan <3: I don’t know when I’ll be able to visit you. Schoolwork is really piling up. I have three labs to finish by Friday and an exam coming up that’s worth 50% of my grade.

me: It’s okay! We’ll just play it by ear then.

me: Or maybe I can sneak back home over the weekend instead ;)

<3 Sato-chan <3: I don’t know if that’s a good idea. I really need to focus rn. I don’t want my grades to slip this early in the semester, especially with my internship.

me: Sato-channnnnn ; - ;

me: oh also, while i have you here, i came up w this new theory about what happened to the UFO they found in Roswell. It has to do with the men in black. Remember them? :D

<3 Sato-chan <3: It’s late Tooru. I have to sleep.

me: oh… okay. good night Sato-chan ily <3

<3 Sato-chan <3: Good night Tooru

Oikawa threw his phone on his bed and slumped in his chair. Yahaba was staying over at Mad Dog’s dorm tonight so it was eerily quiet, save for the hum of Oikawa’s laptop. He turned his gaze back to his monitor. The words “Physical Touch” stared back at him in dark purple letters.

Oikawa had always known he was a touchy person ever since he was little. He loved holding hands with his sister and the other kids and giving hugs and pats on the back. And while he could deal with distance, he was always happiest snuggling up by the fireplace under a bunch of weighted blankets with Sato-chan.

But now he couldn’t do that because his boyfriend was four hours away. And Sato-chan was supposed to visit this weekend, but now he said he was busy. It was like their carefully planned calendar had gone out the window in a matter of days. Their plans didn’t actually fit in with Sato-chan’s schedule and all he could manage to do right now was 1-hour video calls once every few weeks.

And Oikawa had (begrudgingly) accepted it. That’s what he got for dating a guy majoring in biochemistry two cities away. It didn’t stop him from missing the feeling of running his fingers through Sato’s messy blonde hair or the soft caresses they shared in bed late at night.

He shut the lid of his laptop, stood up, and stretched. He needed to clear his head.

A couple of days ago, Yahaba had told him about a twenty-four-hour cafe that was hidden in the university library and Oikawa was determined to find it. So he pulled on his shoes, grabbed his phone, keys, and wallet, and headed out into the cool dark night.

Oikawa didn’t want to say that he got lost in the library, but if some kind stranger wanted to help him, he would’ve been very grateful.

He huffed as he dead-ended at yet another bookshelf. “Where the hell is this cafe?” he hissed at the books in front of him.

“Dude, you do know that this is a library, right?” Oikawa whipped around to see a tall boy with a curly mop of dark hair peering curiously at him.

“Of course I do. I’m not stupid.” Oikawa sighed, “My roommate told me about a secret cafe somewhere around here so I came to look for it.”

The boy raised his thick eyebrows at him, “Secret cafe?” he smirked, and he quickly put the book he was holding back on the shelf, “Oh I have to see this.”

And just like that Oikawa had a new companion for his quest for coffee.

“Yahaba-kun said it was somewhere on the fourth floor but I’ve walked every inch of this place and I can’t find it.”

“Did you go to the East Wing?”

“There’s an East Wing?”

The boy snickered, “Yeah, come on I’ll show you.” he held out his hand, “Matsukawa Issei.”

Oikawa shook it. “Oikawa Tooru.”

“You new?”

“Yeah. I just transferred here this semester.”


Oikawa learned a lot about Matsukawa in the time that it took them to walk to the East Wing. He had two younger siblings, a love for cheese-filled hamburger steak, and was getting his bachelor’s degree in mortuary science, which he admitted he was only getting because his family owned a funeral home and he was set to take over after he graduated.

“Do you ever get scared that the bodies will come back to life?” Oikawa asked, “Or that aliens would abduct them for science?”

“Nah. But even if they did, that would make a great story, don’t you think?”

Oikawa nodded, “But you’d have to take pictures otherwise people will think you’re crazy.”

Matsukawa hummed, “And I’d have to keep them hidden in a box under my bed so that the government doesn’t try to wipe my memory.”

“Yeah, you wouldn’t want the men in black to be knocking at your door.”

“Well... again great story if they do.”

“You wouldn’t remember it!”

“I have a big brain. There’s no way they could wipe it completely.”

Oikawa grinned, “I like you Mattsun.”

The other boy paused, “Mattsun?”

“I give everyone I meet a nickname. It’s kind of a habit.”

Mattsun nodded, “I like it. It’s much better than the last nickname somebody gave me.”

“What was it?”

“‘Eyebrows,’” Mattsun laughed at the look of disgust on Oikawa’s face, “I know. Hiro’s a creative mastermind.”


“Takahiro. He’s my...” Mattsun deflated a little, “friend. He’s my friend.”

Their conversation lapsed into silence as they rounded the corner into the East Wing. Oikawa noticed how stiff Mattsun had become, “Do you want to talk about it?”

“Nah. It’s stupid. Besides I don’t want you to psychoanalyze me this early in our relationship.”

Oikawa laughed and Mattsun looked at him in confusion, “Sorry, my boyfriend said the same thing when we first got together. I’m a psychology major,” Oikawa explained.

“Oh... Is he here too? Your boyfriend?” Mattsun looked around, “We didn’t ditch him or anything right?”

“No. He’s four hours away at my old school.” Oikawa sighed. “He didn’t want to transfer with me so we’re trying the long-distance thing.”

“Sounds like it’s been a bitch.”

“I guess,” Oikawa shrugged, “It’s only been a few weeks since we’ve been apart but I keep getting the feeling he’s pushing me away somehow? He’s been flaking out on our plans to meet up because he’s been so busy. He’s working under this new biochemistry professor so that they could get a grant for this big project they’re working on.”

He sighed, “So you know, there are long nights in the lab on top of school which means we only see each other once every few weeks for like an hour over a video call. But it’s around the same amount of work he had when we were in the same school and he was never this busy.”

Mattsun nodded and was about to comment when Oikawa suddenly grabbed his jacket. “Mattsun!” he whispered excitedly, “Look!!”

And sure enough, wedged in between two pillars in the furthest corner of the library, was a tiny coffee stand, manned by one snoozing student. Mattsun’s face lit up and they both scurried over to the stand.

Oikawa tapped the barista on his shoulder to wake him. “Um hello?”

Mattsun had a different approach.

“Oi! Kunimi!” He shook the boy roughly, earning him a glare from behind the counter, “You never told me you worked in a secret cafe!”

“It’s not a cafe. It’s a coffee stand. And I never told you because I know you’ll just come here and bother me,” Kunimi said. “This is my nap time.”

“But you’re on duty,” Oikawa pointed out.

“Paid nap time.”

“I should talk to your boss about this,” Mattsun joked.

Kunimi bristled, “Can you just take your coffee and go?”

“Can we take some muffins too?”


Mattsun shoved a couple of plastic-wrapped muffins into his jacket pockets and grabbed some sugar and cream packets while Oikawa filled up their cups and handed Kunimi a couple of bills. They squeezed their way out of the tiny corner, Mattsun waving to Kunimi as they left.

Mattsun took a sip from his coffee as they walked back through the library, “I think you’re right you know. He’s definitely pushing you away.”

Oikawa looked up from his coffee. “Huh?”

“Your boyfriend. I agree that he’s pushing you away. He could be using the distance as a means to break up with you.”

Oikawa stopped in his tracks and Mattsun followed suit. “You think he’s going to break up with me?”

“I-” Mattsun sighed, “Look I don’t mean to overstep my boundaries but I just think that if you truly love someone, you’ll make time to be with them no matter the distance. Even if they’re busy, they’ll find more than one hour to spend with you every few weeks.”

“Well, Sato-chan does love me." Oikawa snapped. “He’s just busy. He wouldn’t dare break up with me. Sato-chan loves me.”

Mattsun held up his hands in surrender. “You’re right. I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said anything.”

“No, you shouldn’t have,” Oikawa said bitterly. They’d managed to make their way to the library exit and were now standing by the large glass doors in silence.

“Ah. I guess this is where we part.” Mattsun gave him a small unsure smile, “It was nice meeting you Oikawa.”

“It was nice meeting you too, Mattsun.”

And as they parted, Oikawa couldn’t help but think that maybe, just maybe, his new friend had a point.

Chapter Text

Iwaizumi had decided that these therapy sessions were officially a part of the ninth circle of hell. He also decided he was going to kill Hanamaki.

Oikawa had arrived at Nakamura’s office at the exact same time as he did. He was wearing a nice navy blue coat and horn-rimmed glasses. Damn those glasses looked good on him. If Iwaizumi looked close enough, he could see where Oikawa’s long eyelashes brushed the lenses.

Oikawa also looked a little tired, small shadows forming under those big brown eyes, but he still managed to flash a bright smile at Iwaizumi. “Hi Iwa-chan!”

“Brunette, pretty, and pisses you off? Sounds like just your type,” rang in Iwaizumi’s ears and he grumbled, pushing past Oikawa to sit on the far end of Nakamura’s couch.

Out of the corner of his eye, he watched Oikawa pull out his teal notebook and pencil and sit up straight like he was in the most important lecture of his life.

Then he and Oikawa told their results to Nakamura, who wrote them down on his clipboard before suggesting, “Why don’t you two move in closer? You’re so far away from each other I’m getting whiplash from trying to speak to you both.”

And now Iwaizumi was sitting less than five inches away from tall, brunette, and pretty and he’d never been more pissed off in his life. Because the first thought he had wasn’t, “Why the hell are we doing this?” it was “he smells really good.” Like lavender and something warm and sweet…

“You don’t have to look so grumpy Iwa-chan. I’m not gonna bite.” Oikawa bumped his knee with his own and smiled. He hated how it made his heart flutter. Get yourself under control Iwaizumi. You barely know this asshole.

“So for today’s exercise,” Nakamura leaned back in his chair, “I want you two to get me a frappuccino from the cafe outside the humanities building.”

“What?” Oikawa put down his pencil, confused.

“The cafe across campus?” Iwaizumi asked, casually. Nakamura nodded, “I can get it.” he rose to his feet, “Beats sitting here with him.”


“No. I want you both to go get it for me.” Nakamura said firmly and Iwaizumi’s face soured. “I want a large caramel frappuccino with three pumps of vanilla, one pump of honey, extra caramel drizzle, extra whip, seven pumps of dark caramel sauce...”

Iwaizumi’s eyes widened as the doctor continued and he watched Oikawa scramble to write down the order in his notebook, “five pumps of roasted coffee, heavy cream, double blended, and two ice cubes with a sprinkle of cinnamon on top. And get me something extra. Something that you think I’ll like.”

Oikawa pushed his glasses up the bridge of his nose, “Uh can you repeat-”

“Nope.” Nakamura said with a smile, “Have fun.”

And just like that, they were shooed out of Nakamura’s office again.

“He talked so fast. I’m worried I didn’t get everything down.” Oikawa said as they walked across campus.

“I just feel bad for the barista that gets stuck with this order.” Iwaizumi shoved his hands into his pockets as they walked, trying hard not to think about how cute Oikawa looked when he pouted. Damn you Hanamaki. You just had to point it out, didn’t you?

“Two pumps of vanilla… or no wait I think it was three.” Oikawa scribbled furiously in his notebook as they walked.

“Calm down,” Iwaizumi said, “He’s not going to know the difference if his stupid frappucino has two pumps of vanilla or three.”

“You can always tell the difference when it comes to vanilla, Iwa-chan.”

“Will you stop calling me that?”

“Nope,” Oikawa said, face still buried in his notebook. Iwaizumi rolled his eyes as they strode on. This must be some sort of a test of his patience. Why else would he be assigned to get coffee with the one person that seemed to know how to push all of his buttons?

“This was the worst anger management session ever,” Iwaizumi muttered under his breath.

“Oh is that what you’re seeing Dr. Nakamura for?” Oikawa said, finally looking up from the list.

“Aren’t you supposed to know that as his intern?”

Oikawa tapped his pencil to his chin, “He never really told me why you were there. I thought I was supposed to figure it out or something.”

“Well, now you know.”

“You are a pretty angry person though. Always frowning.” Oikawa observed.

Iwaizumi scowled.

“See?” Oikawa grinned, “Anyways, I think enrolling yourself in anger management was a good move for you.”

“I’m not here by choice okay? The dean assigned me anger management sessions because I punched a homophobe and broke his nose.”

“Oh! Uh… Well, good job!” Oikawa said, awkwardly as if he was unsure if he should be condoning acts of violence, “I still think my point stands though. These sessions might help you smile more.”

“I doubt it. So far they’ve only pissed me off more,” Iwaizumi admitted, “Who takes a love quiz for anger management?”

“Love is the opposite of anger.”

“Is it really? Wow, I never knew that.” Iwaizumi said sarcastically. “You’re a genius, Shittykawa.”

Oikawa gaped at him. “Rude! You know what? When we get back, I’m gonna-”

“What? Tell on me?” Iwaizumi smirked.

“I could have your time extended if I wanted to.” Oikawa said firmly, “Just for that, you’re coming in for another week on top of uh--however long you’re supposed to see Dr. Nakamura.”

“You’re terrifying,” Iwaizumi said flatly as they reached the cafe outside of the humanities building. Iwaizumi couldn’t figure out for the life of him why Nakamura wanted them to come all the way here to get his coffee. It was your standard cafe, nothing special. He held the door open for Oikawa. “Go on.”

“What’s this? Finally feeling gentlemanly Iwa-chan?”

“It’s called having manners, Shittykawa. Now get inside or I’m leaving you out here.”

“Okay okay.” Oikawa ducked in and Iwaizumi followed after him.

The poor barista that was in charge of taking their order got progressively more anxious with each ingredient that Oikawa rattled off from his list. Iwaizumi glanced at his nametag. Kindaichi. Poor guy. He should leave him a good tip.

“-And two ice cubes with a sprinkle of cinnamon on top.” Oikawa finished, shutting his notebook with a snap.

“Uh ok... will that be all for you?” Kindaichi braced himself as if Oikawa was going to order another complicated drink.

Iwaizumi grabbed a pack of crisps and tossed it on the counter. Oikawa looked at him questioningly and he shrugged, “For Nakamura. He said get him something he might like. Who doesn’t like crisps?”

“Wha--That’s not a good reason Iwa-chan. What if he asks us why? We can’t just tell him that!”

Iwaizumi rolled his eyes, “Ok well, his drink is sweet so we should get him something salty to counterbalance it. There’s your reason.” he turned back to Kindaichi. “Scan it.”

“O-Ok,” Kindaichi fumbled with the bag of chips a little before scanning them, “Anything else?”

Iwaizumi looked over at Oikawa who was carefully rereading the ingredients that were written on Nakamura’s cup and comparing it to his notes. Those shadows under his eyes seemed darker under the cafe’s dim light. How much sleep was he getting?

“A medium black coffee and one of those blueberry muffins,” he fished out his wallet and handed over some money, “Keep the change.” He plucked Nakamura’s cup out of Oikawa’s hands and handed it back to Kindaichi before shoving him to the other side of the cafe.

“Did you pay already?” Oikawa whined, “Iwa-chan that’s supposed to be my job. I’m the intern.”

“Then you can pay the next time.” Iwaizumi said, “I’m sure Nakamura will want us to pick up his dry cleaning next.”

Oikawa laughed lightly and Iwaizumi felt that flutter in his chest again. Damn it.

As they waited, Iwaizumi noticed some things about Oikawa. For one, he didn’t seem able to keep still, either rocking back and forth on his heels or else wiggling his pencil between his fingers.

For another, he kept craning his neck and standing on his tippy toes to see what the barista was doing, resulting in Iwaizumi having to yank him down every half a second. “Why do you care so much about getting this Nakamura guy’s approval anyway?”

Oikawa blinked at him in surprise then replied, “Would you prefer the short answer or the long answer?”

“I got time.”

“Because it’ll make me feel like I’m doing the right thing.” Oikawa smiled slightly at his puzzled expression and Iwaizumi could see the strain behind it. “Being on Nakamura’s good side, getting every task correct, would mean that all the stress of moving four hours away from everyone I love to study under him was the right decision.”

“Why just his approval though? What about your other professors? What they have to say is important too.” Iwaizumi paused, “Unless you’re not doing well in your classes...”

“I’m managing,” Oikawa rubbed his eyes under his glasses and Iwaizumi swore he saw the shadows under Oikawa’s eyes darken at his touch. “It just has to be him, Iwa-chan. Nakamura’s the reason I moved here and if I don’t do well counseling you, then I won’t be recommended to a good program and get a good job with benefits, and all this hard work--my degree, my entire life--will just go down the dra—Ouch!”

Iwaizumi retracted his fist, watching Oikawa rub his arm furiously, “You’re such a brute. I open up to you and you punch me? No wonder you’re in anger management,” Oikawa scowled.

“You’re a dumbass.”


“You really think that the approval of one man will determine the outcome of your whole future?”

“He’s one of the top psychologists in the country!”

“He could be the top psychologist in the whole fucking world and you caring about his opinion of you would still be stupid.” Iwaizumi said, frustrated, “You want to get into a good program and be a great psychologist? Then do it, but don’t get wrapped up in what this idiot thinks about you because he’s just going to drag you down. He’s not even that great of a therapist.”

“I think you’ll find that the psychiatric board of--”

“Oikawa, he’s not even counseling us right now! We’re getting him coffee!”

“Order for Nakamura,” Kindaichi called out.

Oikawa watched in stunned silence as Iwa-chan grumbled over to the counter to pick up Nakamura’s order. What Iwa-chan had said was a good wake-up call but Oikawa wasn’t sure if he wanted to wake up just yet.

Because that was the only plan he’d had up until this point. Get in Nakamura’s good graces, get a good recommendation, get a well-paying job, buy a house with Sato-chan, adopt three kids (and maybe a dog), and live happily ever after. That was the plan. That had been the plan since high school. He didn’t see any other way that he could get there besides that.

Iwa-chan came back with a small plastic bag and two drinks… Wait. Two? Oikawa reached for Nakamura’s cup but Iwa-chan pulled it away and shoved the other drink at him. “Here.”

Oikawa looked at the cup Iwa-chan was holding out to him. “But I didn’t order--”

“You look like you didn’t sleep well last night so I got it for you. And a muffin.” Iwaizumi said, “Take it.”

Oikawa obeyed, holding the cup gingerly in his hands. There were so many emotions coursing through him at that moment that all he could do was stare as Iwa-chan tried to fish out the muffin from between the bag handles.

No one had ever done this for him before. No one had ever cared enough to. Not even Sato-chan.

At most, Sato-chan would notice that Oikawa was working himself to the bone, but he never did anything about it. He only got coffee for Oikawa when Oikawa asked for it and sometimes, when he was tired too, he’d drink half of it before Oikawa could even get a sip.

But Iwa-chan had noticed. And Iwa-chan had bought him his own cup of coffee and a muffin without him asking. And they barely knew each other. He even gave Oikawa the smallest of smiles as he handed him the pastry.

Maybe it was from the gesture or from the two hours of sleep he was running on, but Oikawa’s eyes immediately teared up.

“Oh no.” Iwa-chan sighed. “What? Did a batch of blueberry muffins murder your family or something?”

“No, it’s just,” Oikawa sniffed wetly, “That was really nice of you, Iwa-chan.”

Oikawa thought Iwa-chan was going to make another joke or tell him off for embarrassing him by crying in the middle of a busy cafe over a muffin.

Instead, he saw Iwa-chan’s face soften. “It’s no problem.” He patted Oikawa on the shoulder with his free hand before holding up Nakamura’s frappuccino. “We should probably get this abomination back to him before it melts.”

Oikawa laughed, wiping his tears on his arm, “Yeah we should.”

It was a nice walk back. There was a slight breeze in the air that Oikawa hadn’t noticed before (probably because he was too busy rereading Nakamura’s instructions). It blew through the courtyard and rustled the trees, making shadows dance around them.

A couple of music majors were trumpeting a random tune in the distance, the sounds echoing across campus. Oikawa sipped his coffee while he listened to Iwa-chan rant about how he probably failed the anatomy exam he took yesterday.

“And she said that spelling counts like I know how to spell hippopotenuse or whatever the hell the long-term memory part of your brain is called.”

“Hippocampus.” Oikawa chirped helpfully.

“Great. Now I know I failed that exam for sure.”

“You said it was a surprise exam right Iwa-chan?”


“Then she’s going to curve it,” Oikawa said, matter of factly.

“I don’t think so.”

“Well, if I’m right and she does curve it,” Oikawa smiled widely, “you owe me a dozen of the world’s finest milk bread.”

“And I would agree to this because…”

“Because you’ll get bragging rights if I’m wrong, even though I won’t be.”

“I don’t like how confident you are with this.” Iwa-chan huffed, “Fine, but if I’m right,” he paused and frowned again, thinking. “If I’m right…”

“Can’t think of a suitable punishment Iwa-chan?” Oikawa said, tossing his now empty coffee cup into a nearby trash can.

Then Iwa-chan grinned, evilly, “If I’m right and she doesn’t curve my exam, you have to go to bed at 9 pm every night for the rest of the semester.”

“Wha-” Oikawa stopped in his tracks to stare at him, “What are you? My mom?”

“I can already tell your sleep schedule is probably shit so if I win, you have to sleep early. Every night.”

“Iwa-chan! That’s so unfair. My social life is going to be nonexistent.”

“Make new friends.”

“Why couldn’t you ask for something normal?”

“Because,” Iwa-chan smirked, “this way you get to suffer.”

Oikawa stuck out his tongue childishly and Iwa-chan copied him as they set off back to Nakamura’s office.

Nakamura took a long sip from his half-melted frappucino and, from across the table, Oikawa tensed, hands fidgeting in his lap. He knew he shouldn’t be worried because as Iwa-chan had said it didn’t really matter if Nakamura liked it or not but there was still that nagging feeling that he was going to screw up his whole future by missing an ingredient in Nakamura’s special drink.

Two pumps of vanilla… No no, he’d been certain it was three. That’s what he had told the cashier. And there were six pumps of dark caramel syrup right? Right?

But what if he wrote it down wrong? But Oikawa had checked and double-checked. Maybe he should have triple-checked...

Iwa-chan was sitting next to him and glancing at him every half a second and Oikawa wondered if he was worried too. Or maybe he knew Oikawa screwed up the order and was trying to warn him.

The caffeine and sugar Oikawa had just ingested combined with his anxiousness was affecting him and his hands started shaking uncontrollably in his lap.

He fought to keep them still but they wouldn’t--oh god what if Nakamura notices? What would he say if he saw his assistant freaking out over a cup of coffee? Was this it? Was he going to lose his spot here and now? He was going to be poor and Sato-chan would break up with him and he would die alone in a cardboard box on the side of a highway--

And then Iwa-chan reached over and wrapped his hand in one of Oikawa’s. Oikawa gripped it with both hands, pouring all of his anxiousness into the touch. And as he held Iwa-chan’s hand, he had a thought, one that was mirrored in Iwa-chan’s olive-green eyes. Everything’s going to be alright.

“Good.” Nakamura set the drink down and picked up the bag of crisps like it was a smelly fish. “And this?”

Oikawa winced, gripping Iwa-chan’s hand hard.

“You said to bring back something you’d like,” Iwa-chan quickly explained. “And we aren’t mind readers so we got you something simple.”

Nakamura hummed and put the chips back on the table between them before scribbling in his notebook, “Did you get anything for yourselves?”

Oikawa found his voice, “Iwa-chan bought me a coffee and a muffin because I didn’t sleep well last night.”

“And did you get anything for yourself, Iwaizumi?”


“Why not?”

“Wasn’t hungry. Wasn’t thirsty.”

Nakamura didn’t look up from his paper until he was finished writing. He smiled at the two of them. “Well, I think today’s session went well. Your homework for this week is a bit fun. You’re going to be playing the Game of Truth. Any question the other person asks about your life this week, you have to answer them truthfully. Can you do that?”

The two boys, albeit slightly confused, nodded and Nakamura got up to lead them to the door.

Iwa-chan untangled his hand from Oikawa’s and flexed it before grabbing his bag and making his way out of the office. Oikawa gathered his things quickly and followed him out.

“Hey! Iwa-chan!” He rushed over to the door before Iwa-chan could leave the building. “Can I get your number?”

Iwa-chan looked taken aback and Oikawa noted a small blush forming on his cheeks, “Huh?”

“For the truth game. And also, I want to know exactly when I win the bet so I know when to expect my milk bread delivery from you.” Oikawa smiled, cheekily.

Iwa-chan grinned, “You mean if you win.”

“Oh I know I’ll win,” Oikawa said smugly, pressing “add new contact” on his phone then handing it to Iwa-chan.

Iwa-chan chuckled as he put in his number, “You know I’d never thought I’d be actively rooting for myself to fail an exam.”

“You won’t. Even if she doesn’t curve it, I’m sure you’ll be fine.” Oikawa said assuredly.

“I hope you’re right.” Iwa-chan handed back Oikawa’s phone. “I gotta get to class.”

“Bye Iwa-chan!”

“Bye Oikawa.” Oikawa watched Iwaizumi head down the steps of the psychology building and back out into the courtyard before checking his phone.

A smile erupted onto Oikawa’s face as he stared at what was written for the contact name.

New contact: Iwa-chan :)

Chapter Text

Shittykawa: iwa-chan i’m bored

me: what do u want me to do about it?

Shittykawa: talk to me :D

me: no

Shittykawa: >:( stop being so grouchy. tell me about ur day!!

me: it was fine. And before u ask, no we didn’t get our exams back yet.

Shittykawa: booooo :<

me: how was ur day?

Shittykawa: iwa-chan so considerate :)))))

Shittykawa: my day was fine too. My profs keep giving me more and more readings tho. I swear I have to read like ten books on Freud by the end of next week :’(

me: make sure u take breaks.

Shittykawa: ofc! what do you think i’m doing rn :D

me: annoying me

Shittykawa: D:

Shittykawa: u can always stop replying.

There was a weird groaning sound coming from his left. Iwaizumi set down his phone, wadded up a piece of scrap paper, and threw it at the tissue-covered blob that was Hanamaki curled up on his couch. “Shut up!”

“You can’t be mean to me.” Hanamaki said, nasally, “I’m sick. It’s illegal.”

It was true. Not the illegal part, but Hanamaki had developed a fever over the weekend that was so bad Iwaizumi had had to take him to the hospital that morning. The doctors had said it would be best if he stayed with a friend or in Hanamaki’s case, Iwaizumi.

Hanamaki pointed to his head, signaling that Iwaizumi had to replace the polka-dotted damp towel that lay there. “I wish you and Matsukawa would make up already.” Iwaizumi grumbled, snatching the towel from Hanamaki’s head and going to soak it in cold water, “I hate taking care of you. Your personality gets so much worse when you’re sick.”

“I miss Issei,” Hanamaki said, glumly. And then he perked up, “Do you think I could summon him by singing the Shrek song?”

“Don’t you dare,” Iwaizumi scowled, replacing the now cool towel on Hanamaki’s head. “Where’s your medicine? You have to drink it every two hours.”

“Threw down the drain when you were showering.” Hanamaki drawled, eyes half shut.

“You did WHAT?” Iwaizumi thundered.

“Shhhhh Zoomi Zoomi.” Hanamaki held up a finger to his lips. “People are sleeping.”

“No, they’re not. It’s four in the afternoon. Why would you throw away your medicine?”

“Your sink was dirty and I wanted to see if I could clean with it,” Hanamaki said, like it was the most obvious thing in the world. “Don’t worry Zoomi. I don’t need to take it anymore. I’m already feeling better. Look!” He raised his arms above his head.

Iwaizumi waited for a moment then rolled his eyes as light snores started issuing from the Hanamaki blob. He stuffed Hanamaki’s arms back under his blankets and washed his hands.

Then he went back to his phone, wondering if he could make it to the convenience store and back without worrying about Hanamaki’s climbing fever. Shit. He left Oikawa on read.

Shittykawa: wait I didn’t actually think u’d do it

Shittykawa: im really sorry. I didn’t mean to bother u.

me: Sorry. I was taking care of a friend. He’s sick and crashing at my place right now.

me: you do annoy me but not in a bad way. My friend on the other hand.. I might kill him before his fever does.

Iwaizumi prayed he hadn’t sent Oikawa spiraling into some mood. After their second session together and almost a week of texting, he’d become rather comfortable with the other boy, especially with the game of truth they’d been playing.

He now had a growing encyclopedia in his brain all about Oikawa Tooru and he wasn’t the least bit mad about it. Oikawa’s favorite color was teal, his all-time favorite movie was ET, and his glasses were fake. Oikawa liked aliens and conspiracies and could come up with the wildest theories about what happened to UFO remains. Oikawa didn’t sleep until around three in the morning, always saying “Don’t worry Iwa-chan! I’m just studying! I promise I’ll sleep soon!”

In return for all this new knowledge, Iwaizumi supplied Oikawa with information about himself, ranging from his favorite food to his “slight” obsession with Godzilla.

And, surprisingly, despite the headache that came with Oikawa’s use of emojis in every single text, Iwaizumi was enjoying the hours he spent hunched over his phone texting Oikawa.

He was funny and smart and kind of a dork, but in a good way. He understood when Iwaizumi was actually pissed at him and when he was just teasing. He never hesitated to tell Iwaizumi what he was feeling at any given moment and was, for the most part, very considerate of Iwaizumi’s time.

His phone buzzed in his hand.

Shittykawa: Oh! That’s terrible. i hope he feels better soon (for both of ur sakes XD)

me: he literally threw all of his cold medicine down the drain and the doctors say i can’t leave him unsupervised.

Shittykawa: I could pick up the cold medicine for u ^u^

me: I couldn’t ask u to do that.

Shittykawa: I wanna help, iwa-chan :D

me: I thought u had loads of work to do?

Shittykawa: ur the one who said I should take breaks -_-

Shittykawa: Send me the type of cold medicine and ur address and I’ll be right there :)

me: fine.

“What are you so happy about?” Yahaba said suspiciously as he watched Oikawa flit around their room.

“I’m just excited to see a friend,” Oikawa replied as he rummaged through his drawers to find something decent to wear. “Why? Is that a crime now, Yahaba-kun?”

“No,” Yahaba said, training his eyes to the ceiling as Oikawa changed. “But the last time I saw you this happy was back in high school after you made that girl cry for talking to your boyfriend.”

“She had it coming. No one’s allowed to flirt with Sato-chan but me.” Oikawa said, haughtily as he buttoned up his shirt, “But this is nothing like that! I’m just going over to Iwa-chan’s place to bring his friend some medicine.”

“Iwa-chan?” Yahaba repeated.

“Iwaizumi.” Oikawa’s face momentarily morphed into disgust. Saying his full last name sounded wrong.

Yahaba sat up on his bed. “As in Iwaizumi Hajime?”

“Yeah, I think so.” Oikawa had never been told Iwa-chan’s first name. Huh.. Hajime. Pretty. And it did seem to fit Iwa-chan. “Why? Do you know him?”

“Not personally. But Kentaro practically worships the guy. Apparently, he was good at like every sport at their high school and he even beat Kentaro at arm wrestling.”

“That makes sense. Iwa-chan is very athletic.”

“Yeah. Kentaro said he was also very attractive…”

“He is,” Oikawa said without thinking. Then he paused, fingers stalling over his last button.

If he found Iwa-chan attractive, that didn’t mean anything right? It was just a fact. An undeniable fact. Something that even strangers on the street would acknowledge like the sky was blue or the grass was green. Or that Iwa-chan was attractive. Fact.

It didn’t mean anything. It couldn’t mean anything. He was with Sato-chan after all and even if Sato-chan hadn’t texted him at all or called him in almost two weeks, they were still in love and their relationship meant something to Oikawa.

It was just a fact.

He did his top button, straightened his shirt, and checked himself out in the mirror. Good. Decent. He didn’t look like he was trying too hard to look nice.

Not that he needed to look nice for Iwa-chan, he told himself, but he didn’t want to show up looking like a slob. He turned to see Yahaba’s face all scrunched up. “What?”


“Yahaba-kun~” Oikawa leaned on Yahaba’s mattress and poked Yahaba’s cheeks, “you can’t hide anything from me!”

“It’s nothing. Just… don’t tell Kentaro that you’re meeting Iwaizumi.”

“Why?” and then it dawned on him and he smirked. “Aw did Mad Dog-chan have a little crush on Iwa-chan?”

Yahaba let out a defeated sound into his pillow which was enough of an answer for Oikawa. He got up and stuffed his keys and wallet in his pockets before turning back to Yahaba.

“I’m going to the store. Text me if you need anything.” Yahaba nodded into his pillow, “And Yahaba-kun~” Yahaba looked up, “Don’t worry so much. He’s practically wrapped around your finger.”

Oikawa snatched his phone off the desk as he left his dorm and typed out a quick message to Iwa-chan.

me: on my way to the store :D

Iwa-chan :) : Hurry. Hanamaki woke up again and I need the medicine to knock him out.

me: why :0

Iwa-chan :) : he started singing

Iwa-chan :) : actually it’s more like screeching

Oikawa giggled to himself. He could just imagine the grumpy look on Iwa-chan’s face as his friend sang to him on the couch.

me: poor iwa-chan :(

me: hang in there! ur knight in shining armor is coming to save u (^u^)/

Iwa-chan :) : i can’t wait

Oikawa shoved his phone back into his pocket and tried and failed to quell the giddiness he was feeling at Iwa-chan’s last text. Iwa-chan couldn’t wait to see him.

Sure maybe it was because he wanted his friend to shut up and get better already but Oikawa held onto the hope that maybe Iwa-chan was excited to see him too.

It was strange how much he’d missed Iwa-chan even though they had only known each other for two weeks and been friends for half that time. He seemed to have a calming effect on Oikawa after he’d held Oikawa’s hand.

Just texting him was an immediate destresser. And he always seemed interested in what Oikawa had to say no matter how dumb it was (see the five-hour-long conversation they had about the Roswell incident. Half of the time was spent just arguing about the likelihood of a large-scale cover-up).

Oikawa could admit that it was kind of stupid that Iwa-chan holding his hand for like two minutes had led to the boy now being Oikawa’s main source of comfort. But it was nice to know that Iwa-chan was there for him.

That used to be Sato-chan’s role, but Sato-chan was too busy right now to talk about Roswell and too far away to hold his hand. Oikawa didn’t let himself think about how long it’s been since he and Sato-chan had an actual conversation, instead focusing on his mission for cold medicine.


He turned at the sound of his name and saw Mattsun running up to him. “Mattsun!”

“Hey!” Mattsun came to a halt beside him. “I just got out of math class. You looking for another hidden cafe?”

Oikawa laughed, “No, I'm just going to the convenience store down the street. My friend’s friend is sick so I’m picking up some stuff for him.”

“Cool. Mind if I join you? I know a couple of good home remedies you could pass along.”


“Yeah. My family is pretty health-conscious for morticians. Don’t want to end up on the cadaver you know?”

Oikawa nodded and they started walking towards the edge of campus. “So what’s up with you? How’s Takahiro?”

Mattsun’s happy demeanor fell away almost instantaneously to be replaced with a slightly strained look. “Ah.. I haven’t actually spoken to him in a while.”


Mattsun fidgeted with the strap on his bag, struggling to find his words before blurting out, “I like Takahiro. And I think he might like me back… but there’s this guy on campus, Hokama. I’ve known him since grade school and he just makes my life a living hell.” he huffed in frustration. “A couple of weeks ago, he saw me and Hiro hanging out in the dining hall and he said some stuff and I didn’t want him to keep attacking Hiro too so I left and stopped talking to Hiro so we wouldn’t be associated with each other.”

They’d reached the edge of campus and Mattsun leaned over to push the crosswalk button. Oikawa waited next to him, puzzled, “Okay… But why are you letting this douchebag control your life? We’re in college now. Who cares what he thinks?”

“He’s the dean’s son.”

This made Oikawa pause, “Oh.”

The crosswalk light turned on and Mattsun stepped off the pavement with a stunned Oikawa at his heels. He was still processing this information when they entered the store and headed to the medicine aisle.

If he was being completely honest with himself, he had no idea how to advise Mattsun on this. He knew it would be impossible for the dean to expel Mattsun because he was certain that that was some form of prejudice, but he could understand why Mattsun was still nervous about it.

He watched Mattsun grab a couple of tablets and compresses from the shelves then signal that he was going to the next aisle. Oikawa nodded then went back to his search for the medicine Iwa-chan had instructed him to get. Oh!

Maybe Iwa-chan would know what to do. Oikawa pulled out his phone.

me: Iwa-chan. If u liked someone but knew that getting together with them might result in a lot of harassment from people and possibly ur expulsion from university, would u still pursue them?

me: asking for a friend (^u^*)

He saw the three dots pop up almost immediately and smiled. Iwa-chan was always a fast replier. It was one of the things he liked most about him. The dots disappeared and reappeared a couple of times which meant that Iwa-chan had his cute frowny thinking face on as he typed.

Iwa-chan :) : I would still pursue it if it was just the harassment we had to deal with, but expulsion? It depends.

Iwa-chan :) : What’s my major? Would it be hard to transfer to another college? How long do I see the relationship lasting? Would it be worth it?

me: jeez iwa-chan. Why do u have to make me think so much? It was a yes or no question :/

Iwa-chan :) : u wanted my opinion.

me: ok but like it’s a one percent chance u’ll be expelled.

Iwa-chan :) : then if i truly loved the person, i’d take the risk.

“Did you find the medicine you were looking for?” Mattsun had returned with a small basket in hand.

“Oh yes!” Oikawa quickly picked the purple packaged cough syrup off the shelf and put it in Mattsun’s basket. “Done! Ooh what else did you get?”

“Just some miso paste, oranges, zinc tablets, and this one throat spray that my mom really likes. Oh and there’s a get well card in there somewhere.”

“What about these?” Oikawa pointed to a small bunch of flowers and a box of cream puffs.

“Ah.” Mattsun rubbed his neck, “I was thinking about what you said earlier and you’re right. We’re in college. This shouldn’t matter so much. And the dean can’t actually expel me for going out with a guy unless he wants to get sued. And even if he did, I think I’d earn a small fortune from that lawsuit, and Hiro and I could live pretty comfortably on that. So after I drop all this stuff off with you, I’m going to go to Hiro's place and apologize. Maybe give him the math homework he missed today.”

“Right,” Oikawa smirked and did air quotes, “‘math homework’.”

Mattsun feigned offense, “My intentions with Hiro are completely pure!” Then he grinned, “But I mean if he doesn’t want to do math homework today, I think I could come up with a good alternative.”

They were still snickering after they paid for their items and left for Iwa-chan’s place.

Iwaizumi was mildly impressed. Horrified but impressed at the fact that Hanamaki, in his delirious state, still remembered every word to the Shrek soundtrack. Iwaizumi had to endure about forty minutes of Hanamaki screeching the lyrics before Hanamaki reached the end of the album and fell back to sleep.

He then decided to clean up a bit, since Oikawa was probably on his way. He gathered up all of Hanamaki’s tissues, took out the garbage, washed all the dishes in his sink (which were caked with dried cough syrup, thanks Hanamaki), and changed the cold compress on his friend’s head again.

He’d just finished washing his hands when there was a knock at the door, “Coming!”

He did not like that his heart had started racing at the thought of seeing Oikawa again, especially after their last conversation.

Iwaizumi knew enough to know that “asking for a friend” was never really asking for a friend, which made him wonder if a patient dating his therapist’s assistant was cause for expulsion.

And that thought opened up a whole can of worms that Iwaizumi had been too tired to deal with, especially since Hanamaki had been yelling the lyrics to “All-Star” at the top of his lungs.

But now, with Oikawa--gorgeous, funny, alien-obsessed Oikawa--just outside his door, he wondered, Would it be worth it?

He unlocked the latch and pulled the door open to reveal Oikawa, dressed in a soft teal button-up and dark jeans (god why did he have to look this good right now?), talking animatedly to-- “Matsukawa?”

The look of surprise was mirrored in Matsukawa’s eyes and Oikawa glanced between them. “Oh, Mattsun! You know Iwa-chan already?”

“Mattsun?” Iwaizumi looked at Oikawa and back at Matsukawa.

“Iwa-chan?” Matsukawa stifled a laugh. “Oh my god. You let him call you that?”

“Don’t start.” Iwaizumi groaned and stepped back to let them in, “Hanamaki’s been giving me enough hell today as is.”

“Has he?” Matsukawa calmed at the sight of Hanamaki curled up on the couch, buried under every blanket Iwaizumi owned.

“What does he have? Is he contagious?” Oikawa said quietly like he was going to wake Hanamaki.

“I hope not. He’s gonna regret it if he gets me sick.” Iwaizumi grumbled. “He has the flu and a pretty bad fever along with it.”

“Aw poor Makki,” Oikawa said and Iwaizumi shot him a look that said, Really? You gave him a nickname already?

“Don’t pity him too much. He still had enough energy to sing Shrek songs for the better part of an hour.”

Matsukawa grinned fondly at the Hanamaki blob, “Yeah that sounds like him.” He laid his grocery bag full of items on Iwaizumi’s coffee table before kneeling next to Hanamaki, pressing the back of his hand to his cheeks. “He’s still kind of warm.”

“Issei,” Hanamaki murmured, “Hmm missed you.”

Iwaizumi froze looking between the two and he felt Oikawa do the same next to him. He was worried Matuskawa was going to react badly to being called by his first name. Maybe he’d get up and walk out like he did that day in the dining hall.

But instead, Mattsun’s face softened and he brushed his hand across Hanamaki cheek again, “I missed you too Hiro.”

Iwaizumi breathed a sigh of relief. Good. One less problem he had to deal with.

“Mattsun bought some miso.” Oikawa whispered, “We can make Makki some soup. Give them some space?”

Iwaizumi nodded and he grabbed Matsuakwa’s bag from the table and moved it to the kitchen. Oikawa lifted himself up and sat next to the sink as he watched Iwaizumi rummage through the bag.

“So how do you know Matsukawa?” Iwaizumi said in a hushed tone as he extracted the miso paste.

“I met him at the library.” Oikawa leaned down so he could whisper, “We found a secret cafe together.”

“There’s no secret cafe in the library.”

“Yes there is!”

“No way. It’d be too big to hide.”

“Well, it wasn’t that big. It was more of a coffee stand.”

Iwaizumi lifted an eyebrow. “So you’re saying it wasn’t a cafe?”

“Iwa-chan!” Oikawa whined.

Iwaizumi chuckled, “So you gonna take me there sometime?”

“Maybe~” Oikawa said coyly, “If you’re nice to me.” His eyes glittering playfully in the dim kitchen light.

Iwaizumi leaned in closer, “I guess I’ll have to be on my best behavior this week.”

“I guess you will.”

Iwaizumi felt something shift between them. It came the minute they both realized how close their faces had gotten. He could smell Oikawa’s lavender shampoo, could count his eyelashes, the small sunspots on Oikawa’s nose, and the soft creases in his lips. He watched the playfulness leave Oikawa’s eyes to be replaced by something softer, fonder. A slight blush was forming on Oikawa’s cheeks.

“Would it be worth it?” was the question Iwaizumi had asked himself minutes before he let Oikawa into his apartment. Unconsciously, his eyes flickered down to Oikawa’s lips and back up to his eyes.

Was it worth it?

He was starting to get the feeling that it was.

He moved the tiniest bit forward, “Oikawa.”

Oikawa’s eyes were trained on his lips too. “Iwa-chan,” Oikawa breathed, “I-”

There was a cracking noise from somewhere in the apartment, not extremely loud but it was enough to cause the two to break apart hurriedly. Matsukawa came into the kitchen moments later, stretching. “Did you hear my back crack? That was fucking insane.”

“That was your back?” Iwaizumi said, trying to stop his heart from beating a million miles a minute. He almost kissed Oikawa. Holy shit.

“Yeah,” Matsukawa rolled his shoulders and a similar cracking sound came out of them. “Damn I hope your sports medicine degree comes with a chiropractic course so I can get some free bone-cracking sessions.”

“Seems like you’re doing fine all by yourself.” Iwaizumi pulled a pot out from his cupboards, “Here hold this,” he handed the lid to Oikawa as he filled the pot up with water. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw that Oikawa was still looking at him strangely.

He probably took it a step too far. Damn.

As soon as Iwaizumi shut off the water, Oikawa clapped the pot lid back on top then quickly turned to Matsukawa. “So what did you and Makki talk about?”

“Nothing much. He’s half-asleep. He said something about summoning me with Shrek?” Oikawa laughed and Iwaizumi couldn’t help but smile at the sound. “But he did make me promise to stay and take care of him tonight, if that’s alright with you Iwaizumi.”

With the stove on and the lidded pot resting safely on the burner, Iwaizumi faced Matsukawa, folding his arms. “You’re welcome to stay as long as you don’t ghost out on him again.”

The smirk slid from Matsukawa’s face. “Don’t worry. I won’t. I promise,” and the serious look in his eyes made Iwaizumi believe him.

“What about me, Iwa-chan? Am I allowed to stay the night too?” Oikawa said, swinging his legs slightly.

The playfulness was back. That was a good sign. Maybe he hadn’t totally screwed things up after all.

“Why would you want to stay the night?”

“It could be like a sleepover!”

“We’re all going to get sick on this sleepover.” Iwaizumi said dryly.

“Does this mean I can stay?”

Iwaizumi weighed his options. On the one hand, he and Oikawa did just share an awkward moment and he didn’t want to make things even more uncomfortable. On the other hand, Oikawa seemed over it and he really didn’t want to be stuck alone with the chaos that was the combination of Matsukawa and a feverish Hanamaki.


Oikawa cheered and Matsukawa’s grin widened. “Oh, we’re going to have fun tonight boys.”

“Fun” apparently meant raiding Iwaizumi’s fruit gummy stash and seeing how many they could balance on the Hanamaki blob. The rules were as follows: the person that woke Hanamaki or knocked down any of the other gummies was the sore loser and would have to complete a dare decided by the other two.

The game lasted for hours, long into the night (at least it felt like it), ending with Iwaizumi losing spectacularly when he tried to place a light blue gummy near Hanamaki’s nose and Hanamaki woke up and sneezed all over his hand.

He then had to scrub the germs off of him as Oikawa and Matsukawa plotted his punishment in the corner of the room.

“Alright Iwa-chan~” Oikawa bounced away from Matsukawa. He looked too gleeful.

“Just tell me what it is.”

“We get to draw something on you in permanent marker and you’re not allowed to wash it off for 48 hours,” Oikawa said proudly and Matsukawa wiggled a sharpie between his fingers.

“Fine. But not on my face or neck please. I have a big presentation tomorrow,” he realized his mistake as soon as he said it. The other two grinned at each other before opening their markers with sinister pops.

Oikawa was gripping his arm with an unnecessary amount of strength. “Hold still.”

They had turned off most of the lights, save for the one Oikawa was using to see what he was drawing on Iwaizumi’s left arm. Matsukawa had retired to Iwaizumi’s armchair and was snoring softly in the corner. “I said hold still Iwa-chan!”

“You’re taking forever,” Iwaizumi hissed, “Matsukawa finished an hour ago.”

“That’s because all he did was draw dicks on your arm. I’m trying to make mine perfect--Stop looking!” He pushed Iwaizumi’s face away from him.

“I’m sure it’s fine. Come on. It’s almost three in the morning and I’m exhausted.”

“Then sleep. Don’t worry about me. I’ll be done soon.”



Iwaizumi leaned back on his uncomfortable kitchen chair as he let Oikawa doodle over his skin. It was cute how Oikawa’s eyebrows knit in concentration, how his eyes darted back to the reference picture he had on his phone (that he absolutely refused to show Iwaizumi).

Every now and then, he would blow a strand of his hair that kept falling into his line of vision and the little puff of air rose goosebumps up Iwaizumi’s arm.

The third time he did this Iwaizumi huffed and used his other hand to brush the strand back into place. He felt Oikawa pause. “Thank you,” he whispered and then continued on with his scribbling.

Not long after, Iwaizumi’s eyelids were drooping as he watched Oikawa work. He started nodding off, always catching himself just before he went to sleep. The last thing he saw or rather felt, before he drifted off completely was Oikawa stroking his arm gently, trying to smudge the ink a little.

He woke up with his face planted on his kitchen table, a crick in his neck, and a couple of texts from Oikawa.

Shittykawa: Sorry! Had to go! Forgot I had an early class today +-+

Shittykawa: See you tomorrow at Nakamura’s :D

“Look who’s up.” Matsukawa grinned as Iwaizumi stretched. “Nice arm.”

“Yeah, thanks for drawing all the dicks on it.” Iwaizumi said sarcastically.

“No I meant your left arm,” Matsukawa grabbed an apple and bit into it, “Oikawa did a great job.” He sauntered off to join Hanamaki in the living room.

Iwaizumi looked down at his arm. It took him a moment to process what the image was upside down. Oh.

He got up and went to his bedroom mirror to get a better look. A giant UFO banded his upper bicep and under it, an incredibly detailed Godzilla, scales and all. A beam of light was erupting from the giant lizard’s mouth, hitting the corner of the UFO and causing rubble to rain down onto a small cityscape. It was beautiful, the perfect combination of both of their favorite things into one drawing.

It made Iwaizumi’s heart ache a little.

“Hey,” Mattsun peeked his head through the doorway. “Hiro and I wanted to know what you thought.”

“It’s way better than yours.” Iwaizumi replied, eyes still glued to Oikawa’s drawing.

“I wouldn’t say way better. I mean did you see the dicks I drew?”

“Is he crying over it?” Hanamaki’s hoarse voice floated over from the couch followed by a cough.

“Yeah.” Matsukawa called over his shoulder, “Waterfalls. Just streaming down his face.”

“Aw it’s okay, Zoomi. You can cry out here. We won’t judge.”

“Shut up, both of you. I have to go to class.”

“Make sure to show off our hard work for your big presentation today!” Matsukawa smirked before closing the door behind him.

Iwaizumi yanked off his shirt and took one last long look at Oikawa’s drawing before grabbing a long sleeve from his dresser and pulling it on.

Hopefully, it didn’t smudge the ink too much.

Chapter Text

It was Friday again, Oikawa’s new favorite day of the week because Fridays were when he got to see Iwa-chan.

He found him in the waiting room, head back, eyes shut, phone in hand, backpack clutched to his chest like he was holding a giant teddy bear.

Iwa-chan’s so cute, Oikawa thought as he signed in with the receptionist. He then crept over and lowered himself into the chair next to Iwa-chan. He didn’t stir.

Carefully, Oikawa leaned in... “BOO!”

Iwa-chan jumped so badly his phone went ricocheting off the wall behind them. He glared at Oikawa, who was doubled over, almost crying with laughter as he went to retrieve his phone. “What the hell did you do that for, Shittykawa? Are you trying to give me a heart attack?”

“You were so scared.” Oikawa guffawed. Iwa-chan slouched in his chair and pulled up the hood on his jacket. “Oh come on Iwa-chan.” Oikawa poked his arm playfully, “Don’t get all grumpy again. I was just messing around with you.”

“Oh you wanted to mess around did you?” Iwa-chan straightened up, “I’ll show you messing around. Come here.” He grabbed Oikawa’s arm, yanking him in closer, and reached up.

“No, not the hair!” Oikawa tried to wiggle away from his outstretched hand but Iwa-chan’s grasp on his arm kept him mounted to his seat. He grimaced as he felt Iwa-chan’s fingers aggressively ruffle through his hair.

“Eugh,” Iwa-chan let go of him, looking at his hand, “What is this stuff?”

“It’s called product, Iwa-chan,” Oikawa answered, pulling out his phone, as Iwa-chan wiped his hand on his pants. “It’s what makes my hair look gorgeous every day. You could probably use--OH MY GOD WHAT DID YOU DO?”

It was terrible. Terrible. If the apocalypse happened right now, it would’ve been second to the disaster Iwa-chan had made of his hair. There was a big chunk that was scrunched up at the top and his perfectly styled tufts were sticking up in every direction. Worst of all, there were two pieces near the back of his head that stood straight up like antennae. Iwa-chan watched him with a smug expression.

“Iwa-chan how am I going to fix this mess before Nakamura calls us in?”

Iwa-chan shrugged and grinned, “I think you look great.”

Oikawa whined as he attempted, with one hand, to morph his hair into something decent. Those two strands of hair kept sticking up! “I knew I should have listened to Mattsun and drawn something ugly on your arm,” he muttered, brushing his locks into place again. They were still too disheveled for his liking but it’d have to do.

“I’m glad you didn’t. You’re a real artist, Oikawa.”

Oikawa felt his face heat up and he turned to look at the other, “Oh? A compliment from Iwa-chan?”

Iwa-chan avoided his eyes, but replied nonchalantly, “Why are you so surprised? I can’t have been the first person to have told you that.”

He wasn’t the first person to have said it. Oikawa had been receiving praise for his doodles since he was six.

But the way Iwa-chan said it… “You’re a real artist Oikawa.” It was so genuine and sincere and filled with some type of emotion that Oikawa had only seen once from him, on the night they’d almost kissed...

He brushed the memory from his mind, quickly changing the subject, “How come you were sleeping here awhile ago? Does this mean I get to lecture you about your sleep schedule now?”

Iwa-chan huffed, but it wasn’t the irritated huff Oikawa was used to. More… amused. He pulled his bag back into his lap and unzipped it. “I had to wait in line at six in the morning today to get these before they ran out.”

He dropped a white box into Oikawa’s lap. Oikawa squinted at him, suspicious, before he carefully slid the lid off. There--packed tightly in two neat little rows--was Oikawa’s favorite brand of milk bread.


“My professor ended up curving the exams like you said. We got them back yesterday.” Iwaizumi explained. “So I kept my promise. A dozen of the world’s best milk bread according to Oikawa Tooru.”

“They are the best milk bread though, Iwa-chan,” Oikawa said, trying to keep his voice steady. He was not going to cry over another baked good from Iwa-chan again. He glanced over at Iwa-chan and saw he was watching him with warm eyes.


“Iwaizumi Hajime and Oikawa Tooru?” the receptionist called, and their eyes snapped to her, “Dr. Nakamura is ready for you.”

Another thought popped into Oikawa’s head as they got up and stepped into the hall. Mad Dog-chan’s Iwaizumi was his Iwa-chan. Oikawa grinned at Iwa-chan’s back.

He knew Hajime suited him. It was such a beautiful name, and although Iwa-chan was grumpy, he was a beautiful person. Oikawa replayed the word in his mind. Hajime. Hajime. “Hajime,” he murmured softly.

Iwa-chan stiffened and turned to look at him over his shoulder. Red patches had formed on his cheeks, “What?”

“Oh, I was just thinking about how pretty your name is,” Oikawa replied. He had no idea why he decided to answer honestly, but he relished the confused flustered state Iwa-chan was currently in.

“Okay...” Iwa-chan said slowly, coming to a halt in front of Nakamura’s door.

“It is! It’s beautiful.” Oikawa smiled at him. He liked saying Iwa-chan’s name. “Hajime.”

Iwa-chan made a noise in the back of his throat and flushed bright red. He quickly pushed open Nakamura’s door and strode inside, leaving Oikawa in the hallway.

Oikawa’s smile grew bigger and he gripped his box of milk bread and sidled in.

“You two seem happier,” Nakamura said once Oikawa had settled himself next to Iwa-chan.

“I won a bet!” Oikawa announced cheerily, pointing at the box of milk bread in his lap.

“And I successfully ruined Oikawa’s hair,” Iwa-chan said, flicking the two stubborn antennae that Oikawa couldn’t temper.

“Mean Iwa-chan,” Oikawa said, but with a certain fondness that made it obvious he wasn’t actually mad at the other.

Iwa-chan smiled at him and he couldn’t help but smile back.

Nakamura studied their interaction with satisfaction, “It’s great that you two are getting along better. I think we may be able to end our sessions together after next week.”

“Really?” Iwa-chan said, sitting up eagerly.

“Assuming that everything stays the same, I don’t see why not.”

Oikawa felt his heart sink a little. The sessions were all he had linking him and Iwa-chan. Without them, Iwa-chan would eventually grow distant and be too busy to talk with Oikawa. Their daily texts would dwindle down to one message every few weeks and then into nothing.

Just like how it was going with Sato-chan.

And as much as Oikawa was glad that Iwaizumi would be freed from his mandatory anger management sessions, the selfish part of him wished it could go on forever. He hadn’t felt this happy since he’d gotten approval to shadow Nakamura.

And Iwa-chan looked so excited for these sessions to end. He grinned at Oikawa who mustered up a strained smile in return. He hoped looked real enough. He couldn’t imagine coming into Nakamura’s office without Iwa-chan. Would Iwa-chan find it weird not seeing Oikawa every Friday? Probably not. If he did, he wouldn’t be this happy at the news. There wasn’t even a hint of sadness about this ending. It was like he couldn’t wait to leave this all behind. Couldn’t wait to leave Oikawa behind…

He wasn’t ready to lose Iwa-chan.

Dear, sweet, Iwa-chan who gave him treats and held his hand when he was stressed and brushed his hair out of his face and entertained his crazy conspiracy theories. Iwa-chan who teased him but never too much, who made sure he slept at a reasonable time, who smelled like apples and cinnamon the night he almost kissed him in his kitchen.

Oikawa hadn’t forgotten that almost-kiss. It invaded his mind during quiet moments in his dorm, the way Iwa-chan had looked at him like he was the most precious thing in the world.

He sometimes wondered what would have happened if Mattsun hadn’t interrupted. If he’d just closed that distance... how Iwa-chan’s lips would feel sliding against his own, how his hips would fit perfectly between Oikawa’s legs. Big hands would wrap around Oikawa’s waist and grip him hard while Oikawa’s would hold Iwa-chan’s face steady as their mouths clashed together, tongues exploring each other’s mouths--

And every time, Oikawa would stamp down those visions because he was dating Sato-chan and, therefore, he was supposed to be thinking about doing that stuff with Sato-chan and Sato-chan only.

It would be wrong... even if he wanted it.

Completely wrong, even if some days it felt like he wasn’t dating Sato at all. Like Sato was just a faded memory that only texted him to say that he was busy. But he loved Sato-chan. And Sato-chan loved him and he couldn’t do that to someone he loved.

Nakamura was saying something and Oikawa nodded every now and then but not really paying attention. After about ten minutes of this charade, Nakamura held up a finger and got up, “Wait here.”

He strode out of the room, leaving Oikawa and Iwa-chan alone on the couch. Oikawa was still staring blankly ahead of him when he felt a nudge on his shoulder.

“Are you okay?” Iwa-chan’s face was scrunched up in concern.

Oikawa let himself deflate, leaning back on the couch and shutting his eyes. He felt Iwa-chan lean back next to him. “You wanna talk about it?”

Oikawa shook his head. No, not now. I’m on the verge of losing you and I don’t want to. I don’t want to ruin this. He felt miserable as he rested his head on Iwa-chan’s shoulder. Fingers immediately found their way to his hair, not to mess it up again but to stroke gently.

It felt nice. It felt easy.

It was easy being with Iwa-chan.

Why couldn’t it be like this with Sato?

“Hey,” he heard Iwa-chan's low rumble, “I read that there’s going to be a meteor shower next Thursday. There’s a great viewing place in the campus courtyard. You wanna go watch it together?”

“Okay,” Oikawa’s voice came out all quiet and soft because if he said it any louder he was worried his voice might break.

Iwa-chan always knew how to make him feel better.

Nakamura’s footsteps echoed down the hall and Iwa-chan’s hand was removed from his hair.

Oikawa wished that it could’ve stayed.

But knowing that the moment had passed, he opened his eyes and sat up as Nakamura appeared in his doorway again, a large book nestled in the crook of his arm.

In the corner of his eye, he saw Iwa-chan wipe his hand on his pants again and almost laughed. He made a mental note to use a little less product next time so Iwa-chan could pet his hair without his hand being drenched in the stuff.

“Alright. Follow me.” Nakamura gestured them over. “You can leave your stuff here. We’ll come back for it later.” They waited until Nakamura locked the door behind him before heading down the narrow hallway.

Oikawa poked Iwa-chan’s shoulder and said quietly so that Nakamura wouldn’t hear him, “Iwa-chan where are we going?”

“I knew you weren’t really listening.” Iwa-chan muttered, “He said we’re going to the staff lounge for our next exercise, but he had to make sure that we could use the room first.”

“Ooo!” Oikawa whispered, “Did he say what our next exercise was going to be?”

“No, but I have a bad feeling about it.” Iwa-chan said, watching Nakamura’s back warily, “He looked way too excited when we agreed to do the exercise outside of his office.”

They reached a white door labeled staff and Nakamura swiped his ID badge on the scanner before letting them in.

It was a lot nicer than Oikawa was expecting. There were three comfy couches arranged in a U shape all pointed towards a large flat-screen TV. A couple of vending machines stood in the corner and there was even a fully stocked kitchen. Iwaizumi whistled, impressed, and Oikawa had to agree.

Nakamura stopped at the kitchen table and smiled at them.

“Today will be a continuation of your teamwork exercise last week, except this time we’re going to add a little bit of a twist.” Nakamura put the book on the table and flipped it open to a bookmarked page. “You two are going to bake a cake. But one of you will be blindfolded while the other gives instructions.”

“Huh?” Oikawa’s eyes widened.

“You’ve got to be kidding me,” Iwa-chan said, shaking his head.

“And I think I’ll have Iwaizumi wear the blindfold for the cake-making part,” Nakamura decided, “and then we’ll switch and have Oikawa make the icing blindfolded.”

“Why are we doing this?” Iwa-chan asked.

“Communication is a very important skill in getting along with others, Iwaizumi. And since you and Oikawa seemed to have some communication issues at the very beginning of these sessions, I think it would be wise to test how well those have developed before I determine whether or not we need more sessions.” Nakamura explained.

“Come on Iwa-chan. It’ll be fun!” Oikawa said brightly. It would be fun because he was basically given permission to boss Iwa-chan around.

Iwa-chan sighed in defeat, pulling the cake recipe closer to his side of the table. Oikawa peered over his shoulder. It was a simple one-layer chocolate cake, nothing too difficult for them to accomplish.

“How good are you at baking?” Iwa-chan murmured and his eyes caught Oikawa’s.

“I… haven’t burnt anything yet,” Oikawa offered with a small smile.

Iwa-chan sighed then looked back up at the therapist, “So I do just close my eyes or…?”

Nakamura pulled out a clean towel from one of the drawers and handed it to him. “Now you’ll find all the ingredients in the cabinets and in the fridge. I’ll be watching you two from over there.” he pointed at one of the couches near the TV, “And remember: communication is key. Be patient with each other and work together.”

He walked off and Oikawa read over the ingredients again as Iwa-chan tied the towel over his eyes. Once he was done, Oikawa waved his hand over Iwa-chan’s face.

“I can feel you doing that.”

“I’m just checking Iwa-chan.”

“This is so stupid. How are we supposed to bake a cake together if I can’t even see?”

“Just follow my instructions and everything will be fine.”

“I hope we don’t have to clean this up later.” Iwa-chan felt around for the table and then leaned on it with both hands. “So now what?”

Iwaizumi hated this exercise. He was already exhausted from having to pick up Oikawa’s milk bread, which he didn’t mind doing, but it didn’t help that now all he could see was black. He kept feeling himself sway and fought to keep his mind on the task at hand.

More than once, he’d ran into a cabinet door that he forgot to close and all Oikawa did was snicker at him. At least he seemed happier now with Iwaizumi crashing into things than when they were back in Nakamura’s office.

Iwaizumi also decided to refrain from yelling at Oikawa because Nakamura was watching. If Nakamura thought they weren’t getting along, they wouldn’t be able to end their sessions early, which would mess up Iwaizumi's plans to ask Oikawa out properly.

Because, he reasoned, neither of them could be expelled if Iwaizumi wasn’t Nakamura’s patient anymore. And that goal drove him to keep his mouth shut and bear all the cabinet beatings.

He was sure he’d caused a mess though when he was measuring the dry ingredients, especially since he tipped the flour bag over twice.

But that hadn’t been the hardest part.

“Iwa-chan just be careful okay?” Oikawa’s voice floated over to him, “We only have four eggs and we need all of them for this. So just make sure that you--”

“Okay, stop. You're stressing me out.” Iwaizumi held back from adding “Shittykawa” to the end of that sentence. He grasped the egg in his hand and felt around for the corner of the table before tapping the egg carefully against it.

Oikawa winced as it made a cracking sound and Iwaizumi pulled back, feeling around for the bowl. Once he got the bowl in his hand, he measured the distance between the egg and the bowl, slotted his finger in the broken part of the shell, and cracked it open.

He repeated the process twice but on the last attempt, he heard Oikawa squeak as he cracked open the egg and heard the bowl shift across the table.

“What? What? What happened?” Iwaizumi said, alarmed, “Did I miss it?”

“Almost!” Oikawa huffed. His voice sounded much closer now. “I caught it with the bowl at the last second. You’re lucky to have me around Iwa-chan.” Iwaizumi could hear the grin in his voice.

“Yeah, how could I ever bake blindfolded without you?”

Oikawa giggled and took one of Iwaizumi’s hands, splaying his fingers. Everything in Iwaizumi’s brain stopped for a second as he felt Oikawa’s long slender fingers against his then realized he was trying to hand him something. He gripped it and turned his head to where he’d heard Oikawa last. “What is this?’

“Vanilla. Be careful with it. It’s extra strength. The book says we only need two drops.”

“Right two drops.” Iwaizumi blindly reached around for the bowl again and felt it being pushed into his hand. “Thank you.”

“You’re so nice to me today, Iwa-chan.” Oikawa said before lowering his voice to a whisper, “Maybe we should blindfold you more often.” His stomach did a flip as he felt Oikawa move away from him.

He unscrewed the top of the vanilla and found the bowl again. Two drops. He tilted the vanilla. One.. There was a splash that sounded a lot more than two drops and Oikawa’s hand was on his wrist again pulling it straight up. The bottle was yanked out of his grasp.

“Iwa-chan! That was like half the bottle!”

“Uh… oops?” he grinned sheepishly.

“Oh my god, it's ruined!” Oikawa stressed.

“Does this mean that we can stop now?” Iwaizumi said loudly, hoping Nakamura knew he was talking to him.

“It’s alright. Keep going,” came Nakamura’s reply. “I wasn’t planning on eating it anyway. It’s just for the exercise.”

After putting everything into the bowl, it was time to mix, which was relatively easier than everything they had to go through thus far. And, thankfully, Oikawa had been nice enough to stop laughing at him and actually helped him scrape the bowl and put the pan in the oven.

As soon as the oven door closed, Iwaizumi untied the towel from his face and was momentarily blinded by the kitchen lights. He then tossed the towel to Oikawa who caught it easily. “Your turn.”

Oikawa took instruction very well (although Iwaizumi suspected he memorized the layout of the kitchen while Iwaizumi was blindfolded because he knew exactly where the sugar was without being told). The only difficulty they ran into during his round came when they had to use a handheld electric whisk to mix the frosting.

Iwaizumi almost wanted to take over as soon as Oikawa flipped the switch. In hindsight, he probably should have.

Big globs of half-formed frosting went flying everywhere, on the cabinets, the fridge, on Iwaizumi. He quickly unplugged the device and stared at the mess.

“Wha-Why did it stop?” Oikawa said, looking around blindly.

“You’ll see later.” Iwaizumi replied, grabbing the whisk from his hand and setting it aside.

When the timer went off, Iwaizumi steered Oikawa as far away from the oven as possible before removing their lumpy creation from the oven.

Nakamura allowed Oikawa to take off his blindfold at that point (which was completely unfair to Iwaizumi since he had had it on longer). Oikawa’s eyes blinked owlishly for a moment as he took in the scene.

“Ooh..” and then his eyes landed on Iwaizumi and he laughed.

“You did this to me.” Iwaizumi accused.

“I like to think it was a team effort.” Oikawa reached over and wiped some frosting from Iwaizumi’s cheek before popping it into his mouth. “Mm!” Iwaizumi’s cheeks burned.

“A team effort indeed,” Nakamura sidled up to them, notebook in hand. “You boys did a great job in making this…” he poked the chocolate monstrosity on the table, “wonderful cake.” Oikawa giggled, “And now I know you’ll do an even better job in cleaning all this up. Oh and make sure to pick up your bags from my office when you’re done!” He then took his leave.

“--And because the radio show was so realistic, apparently all these people started freaking out because they thought that there was actually an alien invasion occurring in the city.” Oikawa was saying as he wiped the last of the frosting from the ceiling. “They even wrote letters to their families about the news to tell them goodbye.”

“That’s insane.” Iwaizumi shook his head as he helped Oikawa down from the table. “You’d think someone would have figured out that it was just a story.”

“I wonder what it’d be like to hear that broadcast for the first time. I bet you would have been scared, Iwa-chan.”

Iwaizumi scoffed, “Righttt and you’d probably have been packing your bags the minute they said aliens.”

“Of course! I wouldn’t miss the chance to meet them!” Oikawa said brightly as they strode out of the kitchen.

They gathered their things from Nakamura’s office and Nakamura gave them their weekly assignment. “This week your homework is to find something you think the other person would like. You can buy it or make it but it can’t be expensive. You’ll present them and your reasonings to each other the next time we meet.”

They headed back out of the psychology building, Oikawa swearing that he’ll give Iwaizumi the best present ever while Iwaizumi rolled his eyes. And then, when he was just about to say goodbye and head to his class--

“Hey, Iwa-chan.”


Oikawa sounded strange, unsure of himself. He kept his eyes fixed on his box full of milk bread. “We’re still going to meet up for the meteor shower thing on Thursday right?”

“Of course.”

Oikawa beamed at him, “Great! Because I’ve been dying to show you how to find the constellations and then maybe we could--”

“Tooru!” a voice called from behind them and they turned their heads to see a guy with messy blonde hair was leaning on one of the pillars, waving at them. He was dressed in a bright hoodie and khakis and was tall, taller than Oikawa, with a vaguely smug demeanor about him.

“Sato-chan!” Oikawa ran past Iwaizumi, dropping the milk bread and his bag on the ground as he did. He flung his arms around the stranger and kissed him deeply.

As soon as he saw their lips touch, it was all over for Iwaizumi.

A giant weight fell on him, crushing him, pushing down on his shoulders, on his lungs, on his heart, and he looked away.

He’d made it up in his head. All of it. Every interaction he’d thought was something with Oikawa, every conversation, every joke, every laugh, everything was all in his head.

Oikawa didn’t like him. At least not like that. Not like how he wanted him to...

He felt like the world’s biggest idiot. He hadn't even asked if Oikawa was single in the first place and still fell for him anyway because he was charming and pretty and he’d thought that maybe, just for a second, Oikawa had felt the same.

But he didn’t. The proof was in the way Oikawa was wrapped around that other man and the loud smacking of their lips that seemed to echo across campus.

Of course, Oikawa wasn’t single.

Of course. Because how in the world would a boy like that be still single? Who in their right mind wouldn’t snatch him up the minute they got the chance? Who wouldn’t fall head over heels for that self-obsessed asshole?

He felt his eyes water and took a deep breath. Not here. Not now. He’d do this later when he was back in the safety of his apartment.

“What are you doing here?” he heard Oikawa say as if from a great distance and he turned his attention back on the two. “I thought you were busy with your grant proposal with Professor Ito!”

“I took some time off to come and visit you.” Sato said with a blindingly white smile (of course he had one of those), “Yahaba said I might find you here.” he paused, “What happened to your hair?”

“Does it still look bad?” Oikawa pouted, flattening his hair down, “Iwa-chan messed it up earlier.” He threw a half scowl over his shoulder in Iwaizumi’s direction, a look that made Iwaizumi feel every single emotion and then nothing at all.

Sato perked up at the sight of him, “Oh hi! I’m Sato!”

“Iwaizumi,” he said gruffly, nodding politely at the other. “I gotta run. Class.”

Oikawa was still clinging to his boyfriend, “Oh! Okay! Bye Iwa-chan!” and then he turned back to Sato, who said something that made Oikawa laugh.

Iwaizumi decided to skip class that day.

Chapter Text

The next couple of days were absolute torture.

It was like Oikawa and Sato were everywhere. Iwaizumi would see them walking across campus just before he went to class. He would see them smiling together in the restaurant where he got his lunch. He would see them kissing under the cherry tree that was near his apartment complex.

And not once did Oikawa seem to notice he was there.

Oikawa’s texts also became sparse and short, probably because he was too busy with Sato.

Iwaizumi didn’t mind it.

It's not like he wanted to talk to Oikawa right now anyways. It was painful seeing the name “Shittykawa” light up his phone.

Hanamaki wasn’t making the situation better. He had run into Oikawa and Sato in the library on Tuesday night and he spent all of Wednesday on Iwaizumi’s couch, recounting every detail.

“And Sato’s so smart too. He was telling us about the grant he was doing with his professor and I swear I only knew like half of the words he was saying.”

Iwaizumi hummed disinterestedly, keeping his eyes on his anatomy homework. He hadn’t written a thing on the page since Hanamaki arrived at his apartment, but he continued to stare at it like it was going to do itself.

“And Oikawa was just so happy listening to him. Issei told me that Sato hadn’t been talking with Oikawa for like weeks but apparently it was just to surprise him. And did you know they’d been together for four years and they already have their lives planned out together? Issei and I barely plan out our dates, but Oikawa already knows how many kids they’re gonna have.”

Iwaizumi pinched the spot between his eyes, trying to focus on anything but what Hanamaki was saying.

“I really think you should meet him though, Iwaizumi. I challenged him to an arm-wrestling match and he’s pretty strong for a nerd. Might even beat you.”

“Everybody’s strong to you. You’re built like a noodle.”

Hanamaki immediately picked up on the strain in his voice. He sat up, suddenly serious, “What is it? What’s wrong?”


“Iwaizumi,” he felt Hanamaki place his hand on his arm. “What’s wrong?”

And Iwaizumi shattered.

He let himself cry deep guttural sobs into Hanamaki’s shoulder, releasing everything that had been building up since he’d seen Oikawa kiss Sato. Hanamaki held him quietly, allowing him to stain his shirt with tears and snot. And then he told Hanamaki everything between short gasps of air.

“And it hurts.” Iwaizumi wheezed out, “It hurts and it's all my fault. I didn’t--I thought--”

He couldn’t speak anymore. His brain was overloaded with thoughts and emotions he didn’t know how to voice. He was sad, then he was upset at himself, then he was sad again, then he was grateful for Hanamaki being there for him, and then he was miserable again after he remembered why he was crying in the first place.

Hanamaki didn’t say anything. He just rubbed Iwaizumi’s back and sniffed.

Iwaizumi noticed his eyes were red too. “How come you’re crying?”

“What? Two bros can’t cry together?” Hanamaki joked, but when Iwaizumi didn’t react he continued, more seriously, “I’ve never seen you cry this hard before. And you’re like the strongest person I know. It hurts me to see you hurt this badly. I care about you.”

"I'm sorry."

"Don't be." Then Hanamaki paused, as if unsure if he should say this next part, “I think it would be good for you to talk to Oikawa though. About how you feel about him.”

Iwaizumi shook his head. “I don’t think I would even know how to start. And besides, it’s not like anything’s going to happen. He has a boyfriend.”

“You can’t wallow like this forever.”

Iwaizumi straightened up and took a deep breath. “I’ll get over it. I only have one more session with him to get through and then I won’t have to see him again.”

“Is that really what you want?”


He wasn’t sure if Hanamaki could tell that he was lying, but if he did, he didn’t press the subject. “Well, I’m glad your sessions are getting cut short. Now we can have game day Fridays again.”

Iwaizumi chuckled as he wiped away the last of his tears. “Yeah, that’ll be fun.”

“Can’t wait to whoop your ass at Mario Kart,” Hanamaki smirked.

“When have you ever gotten higher than 7th place?”

“Hey I’ll have you know, Issei and I have been practicing. I’m really good now!”

“I’ll believe it when I see it.” They fell into a comfortable silence, Hanamaki lounging on the couch while Iwaizumi sat with his elbows on his knees.

“Hey, Hanamaki.”


“I care about you too.”

“I know. You let me eat your ramen, remember?”

Iwaizumi let out a shaky laugh, “Yeah.”

He spent the next day buried in his work. Exams were next week and he had already missed two very important review lectures because he was too busy feeling sorry for himself. He outlined each chapter and scribbled notes on what he thought his professors might test them on. It was tedious and it took hours but it also took his mind off of-- you know...

After completing his third review sheet, he stretched before heading to his kitchen and pulling out some agedashi tofu that Matsukawa and Hanamaki brought for him earlier that day. He could tell from the pity in their eyes when he’d opened the door that it was supposed to help him feel better and he was grateful for that.

He took his food to the couch and turned on his TV.

“And make sure to look out your windows tonight for a special treat because at exactly 11 pm a meteor showe-” Iwaizumi immediately changed the channel and sank back onto his couch.

There was some action movie playing on screen, where the guy jumps from an exploding building and lands on a helicopter. Iwaizumi was hardly paying attention.

The meteor shower was tonight. The one he’d been wanting to take Oikawa to see for weeks. He remembered he nearly shit his pants asking Oikawa if he wanted to go with him and how happy he felt when Oikawa had agreed. Now that was all gone. Now Oikawa would probably watch the meteor shower all cuddled up with his boyfriend instead of with him.

He shoved another piece of tofu into his mouth. It tasted like lead, but he forced it down anyway. He was more upset with himself at this point that he couldn’t just let Oikawa be happy with his boyfriend. It wasn’t Oikawa’s fault that Iwaizumi had fallen in lo-- Iwaizumi shoveled more food into his mouth, ignoring how that realization seemed to hurt even more.

After he was done eating, he dumped the empty takeout box in the trash before heading to his room.

He checked his phone absentmindedly. 11:05pm. No new messages. Figures. Oikawa would have probably forgotten about their plans. Not that he cared.

Iwaizumi pulled off his shirt and glanced at his mirror. There were shadows forming under his eyes from lack of sleep. They reminded him of the ones Oikawa wore when they’d gone to pick up Nakamura’s coffee. He sighed, went to his bathroom, undressed, and stepped in the shower.

That night he scrubbed his left arm until the last of the faded sharpie ink washed away and tried not to imagine the way Oikawa’s face would’ve lit up seeing stars fall above them.

Warm hands caressed the divets of his body as kisses were pressed fervently against his neck and back. His lower body was being slammed into the bed, waves of pleasure crashing over him again and again.

He closed his eyes and saw stars, planets, the whole fucking universe, as his body stuttered. He pressed his head into his pillow to muffle his cries. A pair of olive green eyes flashed into his mind just as he hit his peak and he moaned loudly.

Then his body relaxed.

And he opened his eyes to see Sato-chan’s blonde head appear on the pillow next to him, brown eyes blinking steadily back at him. They lay there for a moment, catching their breaths. Oikawa curled into Sato-chan’s side, relishing the close contact he’d been missing with his boyfriend.

“That was a good one,” Sato-chan said breathlessly.

“Yeah,” Oikawa agreed, “you should visit more often.”

Sato-chan immediately frowned. Oikawa didn’t like that look on his face. Unlike Iwa-chan’s frowns which made him just look slightly disgruntled, Sato-chan’s made him look mean and cold. “Tooru you know why I can’t do that.”

“I just don’t understand why it’s so hard for you to just make time for me now.” That came out more aggressive than he’d intended. “I mean I miss you. All the time,” he pouted.

“Well I’m here now aren’t I?” Sato said tersely.

“But how do I know you’re not going to go back to radio silence for another three weeks? Can’t we just call each other once a day or every other day? For like five minutes.”


It was Oikawa’s turn to frown, “Why is that such a hard thing to do?”

Sato-chan turned away. “I don’t want to have this fight with you right now, Tooru. I’m tired. I want to sleep.”

Oikawa sat up, even though his lower half screamed in protest. “I’m tired too but we’re talking about this. You’ve been avoiding me, Sato-chan.”

“I’ve just been busy.”

“Busy.” Oikawa scoffed, “That’s your favorite excuse isn’t it?”

“Well, I have been!”

“So busy that you don’t have time for me anymore?”


There was a pause. Oikawa stared wide-eyed at his boyfriend’s back. “Sato-chan...”

“I don’t want to talk about this anymore.” came Sato’s reply, “Goodnight Tooru.”

Oikawa sat frozen. Did Sato-chan really say what he thought he said? That he was too busy for Oikawa? Did this mean Oikawa didn’t fit into his life anymore?

He wasn’t sure if he wanted to know right now. They were both tired. Sato-chan probably didn’t mean that. It could wait until morning. Oikawa settled back down onto the bed and pulled the covers up to his chin. “Okay. I love you~”

Sato-chan didn’t respond. Maybe he didn’t hear him.

“I love you, Sato-chan~”

“I said goodnight Tooru.”

Sato’s coldness struck Oikawa like a slap in the face. Every time they fought, they’d always said I love you at the end of the night to assure the other that everything was alright. That they weren’t going to break up. They said that every time.

A ball of fire crashed into Oikawa’s gut, heating him up again and he turned to face Sato’s back. “Really? You’re gonna be that petty?”

“I’m not being petty.”

Oikawa scowled, “So what is it then? You don’t love me anymore?”

Tooru of course I do was the answer he expected Sato-chan to say. Instead, all he got was silence.

Oikawa sat up again, “Sato-chan, answer the question.”

“No.” No?

“No, you don’t want to answer the question?”

Sato pushed himself into a sitting position and looked into Oikawa’s eyes. “No, I don’t love you anymore.”

“That’s not funny, Sato-chan.”

“Do I look like I’m joking?”

Oikawa felt his heart drop. No. He was kidding. He had to be. “How can you say that?”

“I used to. It’s just... you’re so damn clingy and annoying now.” he put on a high-pitched voice that sounded nothing like Oikawa, “Sato-chan~ I love you. Sato-chan~ I miss you. Sato-chan~ you want to hear about some stupid alien shit I learned today?” Sato went back to his normal voice, “Sato-chan this Sato-chan that. When I finally found someone that I liked, someone who actually knew how to behave properly, I realized that this,” he pointed between them, “wasn’t working for me.”

“You finally found someone you liked? So you never liked me in the first place?”

“See this is what I’m talking about,” Sato got up and started shoving his clothes back on, “You didn’t even listen to what I said.”

“I am listening!” Oikawa said, frustratedly, “You’re just not responding. You’re like a big stupid brick wall.”

“And you’re so dramatic all the time.” Sato continued, “You always take things to the extremes and you cry over everything. Ito is never like this.”

“Ito? As in Dr. Ito?” Oikawa felt sick, “You cheated on me with your biochemistry professor?”

“Yeah, and unlike you, he actually understands me.”

Oikawa’s hands shook in his lap. He wasn’t sure if it was because he was angry or sad or hurt or a combination of the three, “When the hell were you planning on telling me?”

“I thought you would just get the hint that we were done when you moved away and I stopped talking to you but no,” he drew out the word, “You just wouldn’t stop texting me and bothering me about conspiracy shit--”

“Because you’re my boyfriend.”

“Well, maybe I don’t want to be your boyfriend anymore.”

“What the hell was this then?” Oikawa yelled, “Why the hell did you come here this week? Just to fuck me one last time? A last hurrah before leaving me forever?” The look in Sato’s eyes told him his answer.

“You bastard!” He tossed a pillow at Sato and missed. Hot tears spilled over his cheeks. “I can't believe this. I was going to spend the rest of my life with you. We were going to have a house and kids and grow old together.”

“Yeah and we decided that back in high school when we were sixteen. Things change Oikawa. People change.”

Those words hung in the air as silence enveloped the room again. Oikawa could hear the cars zooming by on the street below them, a TV playing in the room next to him. He could feel the tears cascading down his face. The emptiness in his heart.

“How long?” he breathed out.

“What?” Sato said, sharply.

“How long were you,” Oikawa gulped, “involved with him?”

“Ten months.” Ten months. It started before he’d even transferred to this university. All this time? All this time...

“Is that how you got the internship with him?”

“It helped,” Sato replied, evenly.

The room lapsed back into silence. It was like time was frozen in this moment. Oikawa sitting on the dirty bed, covers drawn around him, cheeks wet, while Sato stood fully dressed, watching him with cold eyes.

“I think you should go,” Oikawa said finally.

He kept his eyes trained on one spot on his bed as Sato moved across the room and picked up the remainder of his stuff. He heard the zip of Sato’s duffel bag and the door creak open.

“Goodbye Oikawa.”

And then, without waiting for a reply, Sato closed the door.

Oikawa waited until he heard Sato’s footsteps walk down the hall before letting himself go. He sobbed until it felt like his heart was going to fall out of his mouth. And then his sobs turned into wails which turned into long drawn out screams until he was left hiccuping out small broken cries.

He cried his eyes dry sitting in that bed, refusing to move from the spot that Sato had left him in. Because if he moved, then it really was over. Four years down the drain just like that...

But he knew he couldn’t stay here. Not when everything in his room reminded him of what had just happened. He slid off his bed, redressed, grabbed his phone and keys, and went out.

It didn’t matter to him that his hair was a mess or that his clothes were rumpled or that he still smelled like sweat. He just wanted to leave that dorm behind and burn it.

He took the stairs two at a time and let his feet carry him across campus.

It was dark and cold. Half of the lights across campus had been shut off for some reason, but Oikawa didn’t care to think about it too much. He was too empty to care about anything. He passed by the courtyard, unaware of the couples cuddled up on the grass, pointing up at the sky.

He kept his head low, eyes on the pavement in front of him.

And because he did, he missed the hundreds of shooting stars streaking across the sky above him.

“What the hell happened to you?” Mattsun said when he opened his door and found Oikawa standing there dejectedly.

“Who is it?” Makki appeared next to him. His eyes fell on Oikawa. “Whoa…”

“Mattsun, can I stay in your dorm for a bit?” Oikawa said and he hated how small he sounded.

Mattsun’s face immediately morphed into pity. “Yeah of course. Come in.” He moved aside and let Oikawa pass him, exchanging a worried look with Makki.

Oikawa stood in the middle of the room not looking at anything in particular. The other two stood a little ways away, unsure if they should keep the distance or close it. Their eyes kept darting from each other to Oikawa like they were trying to egg the other person into saying something.

“Oikawa--” Mattsun started.

“He broke up with me,” Oikawa interrupted, his pitch climbing higher with every word. “He broke up with me just like you said, Mattsun.”

He let out a dry sob and immediately Makki’s arms were around him, holding him close. He buried himself in Makki’s ugly pink pajamas and crumbled for the second time that night.

It helped having Makki hold him though. It made him feel safer than just crying alone on that cold empty mattress. It reassured him that someone actually cared and wasn’t just putting up with him.

“Makkiii,” Oikawa wailed into his shoulder, and he felt Makki’s arms tighten around him.

“It’s gonna be alright Oikawa. We’re right here for you.” Makki shushed him and petted his hair, “Deep breaths okay? Here, follow me. In and out.”

He copied Makki’s breathing shakily. He heard Mattsun say something and Makki nodded against his shoulder as he breathed. Then the door creaked open and closed. Oikawa tilted his head up and let out a noise of distress when he noticed Mattsun was gone.

“Don’t worry. He’ll be back. He just had to get something.” Makki soothed, patting Oikawa’s back gently. “Deep breaths. Come on.”

He breathed with Makki until he was finally able to calm down and they settled themselves on the edge of Mattsun’s bed. Mattsun eventually came back holding a plastic bag and handed the other two some spoons before drawing out three pints of strawberry ice cream.

Oikawa sniffed as he took the pint in his hand, “Does this actually help?”

Mattsun shrugged, “I don’t know but they’re always doing this in the movies so I’m assuming it does something.”

“It’s gonna give me diarrhea that’s what,” Makki said as he scooped out a chunk of ice cream and shoved it in his mouth. Oikawa cracked a small watery smile.

Mattsun looked amused as he settled in his desk chair, “I should’ve gotten you non-dairy.”

Makki waved a hand, “Eh. What’s done is done.”

They got through half of their ice cream in comfortable silence before Oikawa decided to open up about what happened between spoonfuls of ice cream. By the end of it, Mattsun looked even more sympathetic, and Makki...

“I’m gonna kill him.” he gripped his spoon tightly in his hand, “Is his bitchass still on campus? I’m gonna find him and gouge his eyes out with this spoon.”

“I feel like I should stop you but I don’t want to,” Mattsun said, rather calmly although Oikawa noticed he was holding his spoon tightly too. “What an asshole.”

“You guys would tell me if I ever got too clingy or annoying right?” Oikawa said, uncertainly. “I-I don’t want to lose you either.”

Makki’s face hardened. “Oikawa. Don’t let that dickhead mess with your brain. You were acting like a normal person okay? Do you know how often I text Issei? How often I hang out with him? A lot. I swear the only hours that I’m not talking with him are when we’re asleep. I am way more clingy and annoying than you’ll ever be.”

“Well, I don’t think--” Mattsun interjected but Makki held his hand up.

“You texting Sato when you miss him or when you want to talk about things that interest you is normal. It should be expected because you two were boyfriends. And if he had a problem with that, then he doesn’t deserve you.”

Oikawa let out a shaky laugh, “Yeah I think I know that by now Makki.”

“Then act like it. I don’t wanna hear any of this bullshit like ‘am I annoying you’ or some shit. Because you’re not. We’re your friends for a reason. We care about you and we’ll be here to listen to every single one of your rants.”

“Even the stupid alien conspiracy theories?”

“Yes. Although, you might have to cut me some slack. I’m not very good at all that science shit.”

“Don’t worry. I’ll translate it for him.” Mattsun grinned.

Oikawa sniffed again as he scraped the bottom of his ice cream cup.

“Do you want to stay here for the night?” Mattsun asked tentatively. “My roommate’s got the night shift so you can crash in his bed and Hiro and I can share mine.”

Makki’s eyebrows shot up, “Eh?”

“If you want me to share a bed with Oikawa instead, I could do that too,” Mattsun said nonchalantly.

“No no, it’s fine Issei. You can sleep with me.” Makki grinned, “I should warn you though. I have cooties.”

“It’s okay Mattsun.” Oikawa stood and the other two stopped to stare at him, “I think I’ll just head back now. I have class tomorrow and then a counseling session with Iwa-chan and I don’t want to look like a complete wreck.”

Mattsun nodded understandingly and they walked him to the door.

“Are you sure you’re gonna be okay?” Makki asked.

“Yeah, this helped,” he managed a small smile for them. “Thank you.”

“You got our numbers if you need anything.” Mattsun reminded him as he stepped out into the cool night again, slightly chilled this time because of all the ice cream he consumed.

Oikawa nodded and gave them a wave before heading back to his dorm room.

Tomorrow would be a better day. Tomorrow he got to see Iwa-chan.

And Iwa-chan always knew how to make him feel better.

Chapter Text

Oikawa officially had no idea where the hell Dr. Nakamura’s anger management treatment was going. All he knew was that Iwa-chan wouldn’t look at him.

Iwa-chan had arrived spectacularly late in an old hoodie and jeans and looked grumpier than ever. He made it a point to sit as far away from Oikawa as possible.

Nakamura glanced between them curiously before asking for their homework, homework that Oikawa had completely forgotten about because he’d been busy enjoying his time with Sato. He regretted it now because 1. Sato turned out to be the biggest asshole in the world, 2. he missed out on giving Iwa-chan the best present ever, and 3. he’d probably just ruined Iwa-chan’s chances to finish his sessions early.

He grinned sheepishly at Iwa-chan thinking that he would tease him about his missing present (especially after Oikawa had boasted so much about it).

But Iwa-chan wouldn’t look at him.

There wasn’t even a smile on his face. Instead, he just pulled out something from his hoodie pocket and slid it across the table to Nakamura.

A packet of glow-in-the-dark stars, almost the same exact kind Oikawa had had as a child.

“He likes stars,” Iwa-chan said simply, still not meeting Oikawa’s wide eyes.

Nakamura frowned. “Is that your whole explanation?”

Iwaizumi let out a heavy sigh. “I got them for him for when it’s cloudy so he can still see the stars at night. There should be enough to make a constellation or two.”

Nakamura passed the packet to Oikawa, who tried again to get Iwa-chan’s attention. “Iwa-chan--”

Iwaizumi shut his eyes, “Don’t,” Oikawa heard him whisper. “Just take it.” It was like every word that he said pained him.

Oikawa didn’t know what to do.

By now, Nakamura had definitely noticed the change between them and quickly suggested they move on to the exercises he had planned for the day. “Today we’re going to be doing a couple of exercises based on trust. The first one requires you to sit facing each other with open body language. That means no crossed arms or legs. Let’s try that now.”

Oikawa shifted to face Iwa-chan, hands in his lap. At a much slower pace, almost like he was hesitating even moving from his position, Iwa-chan turned to face him too, but kept his eyes glued to the couch cushion between them.

Why won’t you look at me?

“Okay.” Nakamura said tentatively, “Your goal is to maintain eye contact with each other for four minutes.”

“Are we allowed to blink?” Oikawa said innocently.

“Yes. It’s not a staring contest.” Nakamura replied, “I’m going to time you two. Make it to four minutes and then we can move on to the next exercise alright?”

The two boys nodded, Oikawa watching Iwa-chan warily.

“Your time starts now.”

And just like that, those olive-green eyes snapped to Oikawa’s, and, for a moment, he was reminded of how he’d seen those eyes last night, how just thinking about them had made him moan and curl up into the bedsheets...

The thought vanished as soon as he began to really look at Iwa-chan’s eyes. They were slightly tinged red like he’d been crying for days and the red had just become a permanent part of his eyes.

But it was more than that. There was so much pain in the green, so much hurt. It was an expression that Oikawa recognized easily because that was how he’d looked after he got back to his dorm last night. Heartbroken.

What happened?

“Iwa-chan…” Oikawa breathed. He wanted Iwaizumi’s hand so badly, to give him some comfort just like Iwa-chan had done for him all those weeks ago. He reached out and as he did it, Iwa-chan’s eyes slid back to the couch cushion.

“I’m sorry. I can’t do this.”

“Iwa-chan it’s okay. It’s just four minutes.”

“No.” he said firmly, “I just.. can’t Oikawa,” and before he knew it, Iwa-chan was halfway to the door.

“But the session isn’t done yet!”

“I’ll reschedule.” And then he closed Nakamura’s door with a snap.

The sound was too familiar to Oikawa. Too much like how Sato had left him last night, with a refusal to talk about their problems and a door closing in his face.

His hands were shaking in his lap again. But this time Iwa-chan wasn’t there to hold them steady and keep Oikawa from unraveling. This wasn’t supposed to go like this. Iwa-chan was supposed to help make him feel better.

He should be more embarrassed about crying in front of his mentor but at this point, he was too emotionally drained to care.

So what if Nakamura decided he wasn’t fit for this internship because of it? It’s not like any of this mattered anymore. Sato was gone and so was the plan that Oikawa had had for them to live happily ever after. And now Iwa-chan was gone too and probably never wanted to see him again. Nakamura might as well just let him go right now just to complete the trifecta.

Nakamura nudged the tissue box closer to him, “Would you like to talk about what’s going on Oikawa?”

“My boyfriend broke up with me.” Oikawa choked out.

“I see.” Nakamura paused, seemingly surprised and then sympathetic, “It must have been difficult for you to come today.”

“I thought that maybe Iwa-chan would make everything okay when we got here but,” Oikawa sucked in a heavy breath, “but I’ve ruined everything, haven’t I?”

“I don’t think so. When it comes to relationships, fault isn’t placed solely on one person’s shoulders. It’s always a joint effort. And relationships can be mended if you and your partner have the right motivation and the right people to help you with it.” Nakamura crossed his legs and sighed, peering over at the wreck that was currently sitting on his couch, “That being said, I think you two just need some space right now. I’ll talk with Iwaizumi about rescheduling and we’ll figure something out then. Is that alright with you?”

Oikawa swallowed and nodded.

“You’re welcome to stay here as long as you need to. I’ll just be finishing some paperwork,” He gave Oikawa a comforting pat on the shoulder as he moved to his desk.

When he got back to their dorm, Yahaba found Oikawa’s bed stripped down to the mattress and Oikawa lying on their floor, eyes closed.

He nudged Oikawa with his foot, “Are you dead?”

Oikawa made a disgruntled noise.

“What are you doing and why are you wrapped in my covers?”

“I threw my sheets out.” Oikawa said, without opening his eyes. “I’ll get new ones later.”

“Are you redecorating or something?”

“Or something.”

“You know I haven’t washed those sheets since we moved in.”

“I don’t care.”

“I’ve fucked Kentaro in those sheets.”

That did it.

Oikawa quickly sat up and ripped the covers off of him, throwing them onto Yahaba’s bed again with a shiver. “You’re disgusting, Yahaba-kun.”

Yahaba laughed, “I was just kidding.” He dropped his bag on the floor and sat across from Oikawa, who folded his arms over his knees and pouted.

“That wasn’t funny.”

Yahaba's face fell, “Did something happen?”

“Sato and I broke up last night.” Oikawa sighed and buried his head, “I’m too tired to talk about it right now.”

Yahaba was silent for a moment and then he said, “You know, we should go pick up some groceries. I’m running low on snacks and we can get your new sheets.”

Oikawa hummed disinterestedly.

“Come on!” Yahaba shook him gently, “Retail therapy is always fun.”

Oikawa was just about to protest that he needed to save so he could afford a train ticket to go back home during their break and then he remembered there wasn’t really a point in going back home now.

Was it even home anymore? He had a feeling the place would just be filled with memories of him and Sato, not to mention the fact that Sato still lived there. It made him feel uncomfortable going back, fearful even that he would one day glimpse Sato and Ito together in the places he and Sato used to go, making new happy memories together.

But if home wasn’t there, then where was it?

“Oikawa.” Yahaba had grabbed his coat from their closet and threw it at his head. “Let’s go.”

“Okay.” Oikawa said resolutely, shrugging it on and fixing his hair in the mirror before walking out the door with Yahaba.

To Yahaba’s credit, retail therapy was extremely fun.

Of course, they still had a budget to abide by but Oikawa had managed to score a really cool UFO lamp that was supposed to float in midair and soft green bed sheets with little aliens hidden on the inside of the covers. Yahaba had called him a nerd when he put them into their cart but made no move to take them out.

He also picked up some dairy-free ice cream for Makki and a purple shirt with “yeet the rich” scrawled on it for Mattsun as a thank you for their help the night before. Yahaba had rolled his eyes at the shirt too but again didn’t protest as they were dumped into their cart.

There was also a 4k superfan edition of the original Godzilla that Oikawa considered getting before realizing that buying it would cause him to eat nothing but air for the rest of the semester. He decided to just take a picture of it to send to Iwa-chan.

He got as far as opening up his messages with Iwa-chan when his finger stalled. He was supposed to be giving Iwa-chan his space like Nakamura had said. He sighed. He really didn't want to. Would it really be that big of a deal if he just sent Iwa-chan one picture? It might even cheer him up.

But then again... if all Iwa-chan needed was space to figure out whatever was going on with him, then Oikawa was going to give it to him. It was the least he could do. He closed the messaging app and went to help Yahaba-kun pay.

It was a struggle getting all the stuff back to their dorm but somehow they’d managed to hobble their way across campus without dropping anything (there was a close call though when Oikawa tripped a little over the pavement and nearly smashed his new lamp).

Yahaba was nice enough to put away the rest of the stuff they’d bought while Oikawa redressed his bed. Well, it was more like he wrestled with it. He swore fitted sheets were designed to drive people insane as he struggled to cover one of the corners of his mattress. As soon as he got one side over, the opposite side would pop off of its corner.

“Stay!” he pointed threateningly at the last corner he’d managed to wrangle.

“Yeah you tell ‘em Oikawa.” Yahaba said, grinning. “Hey, I’m going to drop this off at Kentaro’s really quick.” He held up a jar of protein powder.

“Doesn’t he have class right now?”

“Yeah but I have a key.” Yahaba said casually.

“Ooh Yahaba-kun~” Oikawa wiggled his eyebrows, “You and Mad Dog-chan are that serious now huh?”

Yahaba blushed, “Shut up.”

“You two are cute.” Oikawa said, ignoring the small pang of sadness he felt. He wished he still had what they did.

“Are you going to be okay until I get back?”

Oikawa scoffed, “Of course. I’m not that fragile, Yahaba-kun. Go on!”

He shooed him out the door before grabbing the box that held his UFO lamp. He began reading the instructions on how to set up the magnets so that it would float. Anything to distract him from the sudden emptiest of the dorm.

He was still playing with the little UFO when Yahaba came back and then they spent the rest of the night marathoning a show Mattsun had texted him about, something called the Twilight Zone.

It was fun and Oikawa was having a great time until the minute he was back lying in bed staring up at his ceiling with Yahaba’s soft snores filling the room. His mind was exhausted, but he just couldn’t sleep.

It was like the room had become a physical representation of how Oikawa felt on the inside, too dark, too quiet, too cold. He drew his new covers around him, but the feeling still lingered.

He missed Iwa-chan, missed the late-night scoldings to go to bed, the comfort in knowing that someone cared about him the way Iwa-chan did.

But it wasn’t like he could text Iwa-chan right now. Even if he did, he was probably asleep. Oikawa remembered how that grumpy face had morphed into soft relaxed lines while Oikawa was still drawing on his arm. Iwa-chan looked peaceful and content that Oikawa had to stop himself from staring at him so he could finish the drawing. He wondered if he’d ever see Iwa-chan like that again.

But Iwa-chan needed his space right now and Oikawa needed to respect that. It was apparent in the way he’d looked during their last session together. His red-tinged eyes still burned in the back of his mind.

Oikawa’s consideration didn’t stop him from loathing the growing distance between them though. It felt too similar to the “space” that Sato needed.

He sat up, rubbing his eyes with the heels of his hands, thinking that he could maybe sneak in a couple more episodes of the Twilight Zone while Yahaba was asleep.

And then he noticed a faint glow coming from the pile of dirty clothes on his desk chair. He got up and rummaged through the clothes, extracting a small package from his pants pocket.

Realizing what it was, he quickly ripped it open, turned on his lamp, and climbed on his bed. The top of his head barely brushed the bare ceiling.

When he had finally used up its contents, he tossed the bag away, closed the light, and shimmied under the covers again.

Faded green glow-in-the-dark stars stared down at him.

It was a little piece of his childhood, a time when he was full of hopes and dreams about seeing those stars up close one day. It was a time where heartache and heartbreak weren’t even a part of his vocabulary, where he could be whoever he wanted whenever he wanted, and all the monsters he had to face were tucked neatly under his bed.

But more importantly, it reminded him of a time where he felt truly safe, snuggled under his comforter, gazing up at little plastic stars on his ceiling.

As long as those stars kept glowing above him, everything was going to be alright.

“That is the ugliest shirt I’ve ever seen.” Iwaizumi said as soon as Hanamaki and Matsukawa walked up to his table. Hanamaki grinned, glancing down at the horrible purple shirt he was currently wearing.

“I like it.” Matsukawa said smugly as they slid into the seats across from him.

“That’s cause you have terrible taste,” Iwaizumi grumbled, poking his food with his chopsticks.

“He can’t have that bad of taste. I mean he managed to land this hottie,” Hanamaki pointed at himself, “and last I checked, you liked hanging out with me too.”

“That’s cause I have terrible taste too.” Iwaizumi shoved a piece of fish into his mouth, “Where’d you even get that anyways?”

“Oikawa gave it to me a couple of days ago.” Matsukawa said, “Hiro and I are the same size.”

“Good for you.” Iwaizumi said stiffly.

Hanamaki glanced at him then turned back to his boyfriend, “Issei, go get us some food.”

“You’re so nice today.” Matsukawa grinned. “No please?”

“Issei, go get us some food, pretty please?” Hanamaki batted his eyelashes and Iwaizumi rolled his eyes. Matsukawa chuckled as he got out of his chair and headed over to the food court.

“You didn’t tell him?” Iwaizumi said, quietly.

“I didn’t think I was allowed to. You know bro code and all that.” Hanamaki replied, taking a sip from Iwaizumi’s drink, “It’s your private business. I’m not going to tell him about your feelings for you-know-who if you don’t want me to.”

“You can say his name, you know. It’s not like I’m going to burst into tears just because you said Oikawa.” Iwaizumi said, although his voice caught a little on the last word. He frowned at himself.

“Ok.. but you did get like 75% grouchier when Issei brought him up.” Hanamaki pointed out. Iwaizumi ignored him instead, turning his attention back to his food.

He tried picking up a piece of broccoli but kept slipping from his chopstick because of the oil. He immediately lost his patience and stabbed the broccoli from his bowl in frustration.

“RIP broccoli-chan.” Hanamaki said, solemnly, “Killed by Iwaizumi’s wrath.”

“It’s been cooked. It’s dead already.”

“Unnecessary overkill then.”

Iwaizumi tossed his utensils onto the table, exasperated, “I don’t get it. Why is this so fucking difficult? I mean all I had to do was look him in the eyes for four minutes and I would have been done with my last session and with him and Nakamura but no I walked out like a coward. And now I still have three more sessions to go. And it’s exam week and I can’t fucking focus on anything,” he shook his head in frustration, “I don’t even know what I’m going to do.”

Hanamaki opened his mouth and then closed it, then opened it again just to close it one more time.

“What.” It came out more aggressive than he’d wanted it to but he was so fed up with everything.

Hanamaki grimaced, “Ah I can’t really tell you.”

Iwaizumi pushed himself up and his chair made a loud screeching sound, “I don’t have time to deal with this. I have to go to Nakamura’s to reschedule my session.”

“Wha--I thought you were going to have lunch with us!”

“And watch you two dipshits make heart eyes at each other while I eat? I’d rather shoot myself.” Iwaizumi said harshly as he threw the remainder of food in the garbage.

He turned back to see Hanamaki staring at him with wide eyes. He instantly regretted what he said, “I’m sorry. That’s not what I meant. I’m just--” he sighed deeply, “I really have to go right now. Do you guys want to come by my place for dinner instead?”

Hanamaki nodded, a worried look still plastered on his face.

Iwaizumi shouldered his bag and headed out to the courtyard, making a mental note to go pick up some apology cream puffs after he met with Nakamura.

The waiting room looked the same as it did the first time Iwaizumi was here. Cream-colored walls and ugly paintings watched him as he sat in his uncomfortable plastic chair. The receptionist had said that Nakamura was in a meeting at the moment, but would be able to see him afterwards so all he could do was wait.

He checked his phone. Still no new messages. How long has it been since Oikawa texted him? Did he not want to talk to him now he and his boyfriend reunited? Maybe Iwaizumi had just been a replacement for Sato while he was away? That thought made him feel so much worse.

A pretty girl with long brown hair emerged from Nakamura’s hallway. She was wearing a tight blue sweater and cradling a large purple binder in her arms. She glanced at Iwaizumi and blushed, giving him a small shy wave. Iwaizumi couldn’t help but think she looked vaguely familiar, but he couldn’t remember her name. He gave her a polite nod then turned his attention back to the hallway where Nakamura stood waving him over.

“I didn’t know you knew Yasuda.” Nakamura said, pleasantly as he and Iwaizumi walked to his office.


Yasuda... Masami.

Oh... Right.

“Yeah… we met at a party awhile back.” Iwaizumi said, rubbing the back of his neck. He remembered her now. She was the last girl he’d hooked up with before he’d met Oikawa.

He felt even shitter for not remembering her sooner. It wasn’t like it had been years. He’d met her at the same party where he and Hanamaki met Matsukawa. That was only about... five months ago? After meeting Oikawa, his fling with Yasuda felt like ages ago.

“That’s nice. I always find it interesting when people I know somehow know each other.” Nakamura closed his door and gestured at the couch. Iwaizumi sat down. It was weird being alone with Nakamura. He was so used to having Oikawa with him during his sessions that now it felt like something was missing.

“I wanted to talk to you about my remaining anger management sessions.” Iwaizumi said, too tired to meet the other’s eyes.

“Anger management?” he heard Nakamura say and his head snapped up. The doctor was looking at him strangely, “You mean to tell me you’re supposed to be receiving anger management sessions and not couples therapy?”

“Couples… What?!” Iwaizumi stared at the man, “No! The dean sent me here for six weeks of anger management because I punched his asshole of a son.”

Nakamura shook his head in disbelief, quickly heading over to his desk and pulling out papers. “I could have sworn…”

“Why would you think I was in couple’s therapy? I was the only one receiving treatment!” Iwaizumi exclaimed as he watched Nakamura pour over his documents.

And then he paused, “You thought Oikawa... Oikawa and I…” He thought Oikawa and I were a couple. His brain finished for him. If only...

Nakamura straightened up. “Ah… I see.” He turned his gaze back to Iwaizumi, “I’m sorry about the confusion. It seems that both of your files were placed in the wrong folder.”

Another thought struck Iwaizumi, “...Does this mean I have to redo my sessions?”

Nakamura sighed, “No I won’t make you do that. But I will have to remove Oikawa from the remainder of your sessions. He’s supposed to be shadowing my couples therapy sessions this semester, not participating in them.” He shook his head again. “I’m sorry again. I should have double checked everything before proceeding.”

“It’s okay.” Iwaizumi said, “I’m just glad I don’t have to redo the sessions.” And it was probably better for him if he didn’t see Oikawa right now. “Um.. Should I still come here this Friday to make up for the last session?”

“No, not this week.” Then Nakamura perked up, “Actually if you don’t have any other plans for today, I have a way that you can make up for your fourth session.”

“Yeah. I mean I have to meet with some friends for dinner but apart from that I’m free.”

“And you wouldn’t mind working with Yasuda?”


“Good,” Nakamura smiled. “She actually came by to ask me if anyone in our department wanted to volunteer for the puppy therapy event she’s holding near the courtyard today. If you help her out this afternoon, I’ll count that as your fourth session.”

“That sounds great.” Iwaizumi got up, “What do I need to do?”

The puppy therapy event was a lot smaller than Iwaizumi had thought. He caught a glimpse of it as soon as he left the psychology building. There was only one table set up in a shaded area and small section of grass that was caged off to prevent the puppies from escaping.

The puppies themselves seemed delighted though, bouncing and pouncing on each other, chewing on the metal wiring, sniffing the grass curiously. Every so often a batch of students would walk by and coo at them before heading to class.

Yasuda stood by the booth’s table holding her purple binder to her chest along with a scowling boy with blonde hair and black stripes. They both watched Iwaizumi trample across the grass towards them.

Iwaizumi recognized the other boy immediately. “Kyoutani right?” The boy’s eyes widened and he nodded. “Nice to see you again. I’m Iwaizumi.”

“I know.” Kyoutani mumbled, shoving his hands in his pockets and looking away.

Iwaizumi turned to Yasuda. “Nakamura told me you guys could use some help.”

She smiled at him, “I’m assuming you’re here to make up for a missing session then?”

Iwaizumi blinked. “Uh..”

She laughed, “Don’t worry I’m not offended. Nakamura said he’d send all the patients that flaked on him my way.”

“Nakamura actually said flaked?”

“More or less.” She nodded at Kyoutani, “Kyou-chan’s in the same boat as you apparently.” Kyoutani grumbled, still averting his gaze from Iwaizumi. “Nakamura sends him here every semester.” Yasuda started pulling her hair up into a ponytail, “We’re going to open in about ten minutes. I’m just waiting to see if anyone else will join us.” She then turned her smile back on Iwaizumi. “So how have you been, Hajime?”

He blushed. Forward. Sweet but forward. That was Yasuda’s thing.

She’d make you think that she was shy and innocent and then she'd smile and make a move that you weren’t expecting like saying your first name instead of your last. Unexpected but never unwelcome. It’s how she got what she wanted. And it's honestly one of the things that attracted Iwaizumi to her in the first place.

“I’ve been good, Masami,” he replied, matching her. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Kyoutani’s eyes dart between them confused.

“Can’t be too good if you’re going to therapy,” she continued.

He sighed, “It’s a long story.”

“I would love to hear it sometime,” she looked at him through her lashes. “Maybe tonight after this?”

“Not tonight. I have dinner with some friends.”

“Friday then?”

Iwaizumi’s brain stalled, “Uh… I’ll let you know.”

“I hope you didn’t lose my number.”

“You never gave it to me. It was supposed to be only a one-time thing, remember?”

“That was my rule,” Yasuda admitted, then her smile grew more mischievous, “But I’m willing to break it if you are.”

“We’ll see.”

She took out a slip of paper from her binder, wrote her number on it, then moved to talk with the group of people that were currently surrounding the puppy cage. He could have sworn there was an extra swing in her hips as she walked away. He pocketed her number.

Yeah.. We’ll see… Maybe this is just what he needed to get out of his Oikawa spiral. And they had had a lot of fun the last time.

He suddenly became very aware of the fact that Kyoutani was still staring at him. “Sorry, uh how have you been, Kyoutani?”

“Good.” he replied, “Are you playing any sports on campus?”

Iwaizumi shook his head, “I don’t really have the time anymore.”


“Do you?”



Thankfully, Yasuda took that moment to reappear before things got too awkward. “Kyou-chan, I want you on puppy patrol for the first hour. Hajime and I can cover the booth then we can switch during the second hour, okay?”

Kyoutani nodded and stalked off to the puppies. Iwaizumi noticed his shoulders relax as he neared them. Yasuda lightly touched Iwaizumi’s wrist to get his attention. “We’ll be working over here. All we have to do is make sure that people sign in on this clipboard and remain in line until it’s their turn.”

“And what’s Kyoutani doing?” Iwaizumi nodded at the boy who was currently picking up some of the puppies carefully in his arms.

“He’s going to make sure that no one mistreats the puppies while they’re playing with them,” Yasuda said, “Kyou-chan’s really scary when he wants to be. He’ll also make sure that none of the puppies are stolen or escape.”

“Cool. Sounds pretty easy.”

“Wait until classes let out. It’s going to be chaotic, especially since it's exam week and everyone needs to relieve a little stress.”

Iwaizumi nodded, “And what better way to do that than to hold a puppy.”

“Well,” Yasuda said, her pen tapping on her chin, “There are other ways I can think of~” She winked.

He chuckled and shook his head just as a couple of students arrived at the table.

Yasuda was right. It was absolute chaos. Iwaizumi hadn’t expected what seemed to be half of the student body to show up in the span of two hours, demanding to pet the puppies.

The three of them somehow managed to keep everything under control though, and by the end of it, they rewarded themselves by sitting in the cage and letting the puppies climb over them.

Iwaizumi and Yasuda sat on one end and Kyoutani on the other and the three of them tossed a ball between them, watching all the puppies run back and forth, trying to leap and catch it in the air.

A small pug had curled in Kyoutani’s lap and Iwaizumi noticed the extra care he took to make sure that she wouldn’t be disturbed as they played.

“Do they do this every semester?” Iwaizumi asked as he tossed the ball to Yasuda.

“Mhmm. Usually it's puppies but sometimes the agency brings bunnies on campus instead.” Yasuda said as she threw the ball quickly at Kyoutani.

“Well if you ever need extra help again, let me know.” Iwaizumi clapped the ball in his hands and passed it off to Yasuda again.

She smiled at him, “I will.”

Eventually, some people from the animal agency came to pick the puppies up which meant that Iwaizumi and Yasuda had to grab the puppies two at a time and place them into transport boxes. Kyoutani refused to help, still doting on the pug in his lap.

“You’re going to have to put her back eventually.” Iwaizumi reasoned.

“Later,” was Kyoutani’s gruff reply.

They were almost done packing away all the puppies when a boy with mousy hair came strolling up to them. “Hey man, sorry we’re closed.” Iwaizumi said automatically.

“Oh I’m not here for the puppies. I’m here for him.” He pointed at Kyoutani, who carefully removed the pug from his lap and handed her to Yasuda. “I’m sorry I missed it. I had class.”

“It’s okay.” Kyoutani said. He dusted off his pants before then turning to the other two. “See you next time Yasuda, Iwaizumi.”

Iwaizumi saw the new boy’s eyes narrow at the mention of his name, but the expression disappeared when Kyoutani grabbed his hand. He and Yasuda waved at the two retreating figures before placing the remaining dogs, the table, and the fencing into the truck to be hauled away.

“I have to go too.” Iwaizumi said. “Gotta grab some stuff before I meet up with my friends.”

“Okay! Thank you for helping, Hajime,” Yasuda said brightly, her big brown eyes sparkling, “Promise me you’ll text me about Friday?”

He grinned, slinging his bag over his shoulder, “I promise.”

Chapter Text

In all honesty, Oikawa was doing better.

Not great. But better.

The initial shock and exhaustion from his breakup had worn off and it was getting easier to find enjoyment in the little things like the puffy grey clouds outside his window or little star-shaped marshmallows he’d found at the store the other day.

“You’re gonna get sick if you keep eating those.” Yahaba pointed out.

“These are my victory marshmallows, Yahaba-kun. It’s Friday and I’ve finished my midterms and now I’m allowed to eat as many of these as I want.” Oikawa said smugly.

“I thought you still have that paper due today.”

“Yeah but it’s due at midnight and I just have to edit it.” Oikawa popped another marshmallow into his mouth.

Yahaba sighed, “Your procrastination stresses me out.”

Oikawa’s phone buzzed and he didn’t even bother to check who it was before he brought it up to his ear. “Yahoo!”

“Oikawa! Hi!”

“Dr. Nakamura.” Oikawa straightened up immediately. Yahaba snickered. “Hello!”

“I just wanted to make sure that you’re still coming in today? Same time?”

“Oh!” Oikawa checked the time on his watch. He had to be there in twenty minutes. “Uh yes sir! I’ll be there!”

“Alright. I hope your midterms are treating you well.”

Oikawa laughed, awkwardly, “I’m managing.”

“That’s good. Make sure to take a break when you can.”

“I will!”

“I’ll see you soon then.”

“Bye!” He ended the call and quickly launched himself to the closet. Once he’d deemed his outfit and hair presentable, he grabbed his bag and keys off of his table.

“Make sure to take an umbrella with you.” Yahaba called from his bed. “It’s gloomy out there.”

“It’s just a little cloudy Yahaba-kun and I’m only gonna be out for like an hour or two.”

“Suit yourself.”

Oikawa knew Nakamura’s call could’ve only meant one thing. Iwa-chan was ready to talk about last week and answer all the questions that Oikawa had had swirling in his mind.

What happened? Why did Iwa-chan not want to finish the session? And, most importantly, who made Iwa-chan hurt so badly? Oikawa desperately wanted to know so he could find a way to comfort Iwa-chan and devise a plan to crush whoever it was. It’d be a good way to keep himself busy while simultaneously helping Iwa-chan.

He trudged up the stairs to the psychology building and swung the door open. He half-expected to see Iwa-chan lounging in one of those stiff plastic chairs again. But all that greeted him was an empty waiting room.

“Oikawa!” The receptionist waved him over, “Dr. Nakamura wanted you to go straight to his office today.”

He gave her a grateful smile before heading to his mentor’s office. Maybe Iwa-chan came early this time. Still... he wished he would’ve waited for him…

Any excitement he’d had about the prospect of seeing Iwa-chan again died as soon as he stepped in the office.

At first, Oikawa honestly thought he got the room wrong. There was a middle-aged couple sitting on the couch that was usually occupied by Iwa-chan and himself. They blinked at him and he blinked back, confused, but then he saw Dr. Nakamura sitting in his chair smiling at him.

“Oikawa good! I was just telling the Hayatos about you. Have a seat.” He patted a small stool next to him and Oikawa lifted his bag off of his shoulder and sat.

“I don’t understand. Where’s Iwa-chan?” he whispered to Nakamura.

“There was a mix-up with Iwaizumi’s files. He’ll be doing the remainder of his sessions alone.” Nakamura replied quietly before smiling over at the couple across the room.

“Oh…” Oikawa said softly and he couldn’t help but slump a little in his chair.

Nakamura turned back to the couple, and clicked his pen open, “Now I understand that we’ve been having some issues.”

Oikawa had always been good at acting, especially when it came to acting professionally. He’d perfected all that “fake it til you make it” crap so he knew exactly how to shove a smile on his face, listen to the Hayatos go on about their relationship problems, and take notes diligently without a single crack in his composure.

But it hurt, sitting there across from that couch knowing that Iwa-chan would never be in that room with him again.

It hurt, even more, knowing that Iwa-chan probably hated him. He must have asked Nakamura to complete his sessions by himself. Because really, Oikawa reasoned, there was no other way he would just be suddenly removed from Iwa-chan’s sessions so far into his treatment without some sort of complaint.

Did Iwa-chan not trust Oikawa enough to have him help with his personal problems? Did he think that Oikawa would just make fun of him for it? Or that he wouldn’t care? He had thought Iwa-chan knew he meant more to him than that.

Nakamura ended the Hayatos session by assigning them some activities to do at home together and bid them and Oikawa adieu.

It had become considerably darker by the time that Oikawa left the psychology building.

He pulled out his phone to check the time then found himself rereading his and Iwa-chan’s past messages. His stomach sank when he saw how long it had been since the last message was sent.

Had it really been that long? He really should have texted Iwa-chan at least once these past few weeks. Then again... It wasn’t like Iwa-chan had texted him either...

Did his silence mean Iwa-chan didn’t want to talk to him anymore?

“You’re so damn clingy and annoying now,” Sato had said.

Was that it? Was that why Iwa-chan was avoiding him now too? Oikawa had annoyed him too much?

His fingers hovered over a group of texts he’d sent to Iwa-chan.

me: ofc! what do you think i’m doing rn :D

Iwa-chan :) : annoying me

me: D:

me: u can always stop replying.

“I thought you would just get the hint that we were done when you left and I stopped talking to you.” Sato had said.

Not only did Iwa-chan stop talking to him but he had even gone to the extent of removing Oikawa from his sessions. Did that also mean he wanted to remove Oikawa from his life? Why didn't he want to see him anymore? Why wouldn’t he even try to talk to him?

I thought we were okay.

Why are you leaving me?

Why are you doing the same thing he did?

Thick droplets of water began to fall from the dark grey sky, slowly and sparse and then all at once.

“Shit.” Oikawa shoved his phone back in his pocket and dashed to the nearest overhang for cover. Thunder rumbled somewhere in the distance. Oikawa leaned back on the dry wall and checked his phone for damage. It was fine.

He had half a mind to call Makki or Mattsun or even Yahaba and just dump everything he was feeling on them. This felt a million times worse than what went down with Sato because he could see it now.

He could see the pattern, see exactly how Iwaizumi was pulling away from him this time, and he didn’t know how to stop it. He let out a defeated noise and sat down, pulling his legs up to his chest and pressing his forehead against his knees.

He thought he was over this.

He thought he was feeling better. But now it was like he could hear Sato’s words echoing in his head over and over again.

“You’re so clingy and annoying now.”

“You’re so dramatic all the time.”

“You cry over everything.”

Oikawa sniffed wetly.

“No. I don’t love you anymore.”

“I don’t love you anymore.”

“I don’t love you.”

Iwaizumi didn’t hate the rain. He just hated walking in it, especially when all he had to shield him from the pouring rain was Hanamaki’s small pink Hello Kitty umbrella (that bastard had switched out his regular normal sized umbrella for this abomination).

He was coming back from his last exam of the day and was debating on what he should text Yasuda. Honestly, some part of him really wanted to meet up with her, the part that just wanted to feel her body pressed against his again. Additionally, in the more rational part of his brain, he knew that the best way for him to get over someone is to find someone else and Yasuda was pretty, available, and interested. Very interested…

However, as much as he liked Yasuda, he didn’t have the same feeling he got when he was with Oikawa. Oikawa… Oikawa made him feel… whole? Like he was always meant to be a part of Iwaizumi’s life, the missing piece that took him forever to find.

He didn’t let himself think about that for too long. It would take him longer to let go if he did.

Anyways, Iwaizumi could admit that it was unfair to use Yasuda to get over Oikawa. She deserved better than that.

But he had to find a way to move on…

Maybe he could get Yasuda to agree that this would just be a two-time thing?

Water splashed over his sneakers and he grimaced as he felt the cold seep into his socks. Great. He knew he should’ve worn his boots today even if they made him look like (as Hanamaki so lovingly pointed out) a homeless fisherman.

He turned a corner, walking past the library as swiftly as he could when something caught his eye. A small lump of a person was slouched against the humanities building, shivering.

Even though it was slightly matted down by the rain, Iwaizumi recognized the hair.

He stood there, watching Oikawa shake before realizing that the other wasn’t actually cold.

He was crying.

Oikawa was crying and Iwaizumi didn’t know what he should do.

Well, he did know what he should do. He should go and ask if Oikawa was okay, ask if he wanted to stay in his apartment to dry off, and tell Yasuda he was busy tonight.

But he wasn’t sure if he could do it. If he did, he would be stuck in Oikawa purgatory for the unforeseeable future. And while that didn’t sound too bad, he had to remind himself that Oikawa was taken and he would only be causing himself more heartache.

Still... he didn’t want to just leave him there, crying alone in the rain. He double backed to the library, closing his umbrella as soon as he reached the overhang, and took out his phone.

me: hey

He watched Oikawa shift a little to check his phone. Oikawa stared at the message and Iwaizumi saw the ends of his mouth pull down and tremble. Three dots appeared and then disappeared as Oikawa typed and retyped his message again.

Shittykawa: hi iwa-chan. long time no text :)

It took a while for Iwa-chan to respond again and Oikawa wondered if he’d just texted him on accident. He slumped over again.

That had to be it didn’t it? I mean why else would he-- His phone pinged.

Iwa-chan :) : left u something by the library. it’s behind one of the pillars.

Oikawa looked up from his phone to stare at the library. His phone pinged again.

Iwa-chan :) : u better hurry before someone steals it.

Oikawa stood up and grabbed his bag, shoving his phone in his pocket. He held his coat over his head and, after glancing around, he made a mad dash to the library.

It wasn’t that far of a distance but Oikawa swore he stepped in every puddle along the way. By the time he reached the pillars, his shoes and the bottoms of his pants were soaked.

He didn’t care. He was more focused on his mission, looking around expectantly.

He didn’t know exactly what Iwa-chan had left him but he was excited either way. Because Iwa-chan had texted him. Iwa-chan didn’t actually hate him. He hadn’t completely removed Oikawa from his life yet. And that in and of itself was enough to make Oikawa extremely giddy.

But of course, Iwa-chan always seemed to go the extra mile when it came to making Oikawa feel better.

He saw it at the base of the second pillar. A damp sheet of college-ruled paper with “Shittykawa” scrawled on it was folded atop a small pink umbrella. He carefully lifted the paper off and folded it neatly into a square before shoving it into his pocket. He took the umbrella in his hands and laughed a little to himself at the Hello Kitty pattern. Then he pulled out his phone and quickly typed:

me: thank you Iwa-chan ^^

Iwa-chan :) : no problem

Oikawa headed back to his dorm, humming slightly.

As he did, a boy with spiky dark hair exited the library, glanced at Oikawa’s retreating back, and smiled before pulling the hood of his coat over his head.

Chapter Text

Iwaizumi found that anger management, real anger management, sucked for three reasons.

One: It was on a Wednesday, right smack in the middle of the week, which meant Iwaizumi had to sprint from his class to the psychology building to make it there in time.

Two: It bears repeating that Iwaizumi was not an angry person at heart.

Grumpy? Yes. But angry? No.

And he thought Nakamura knew that going in based on the sessions they’d had together.

But he was wrong. It was like Nakamura had put on a pair of kiddie gloves and was treating him like he was about to explode at any moment. It was annoying and slightly condescending and Iwaizumi hated it.

And three: Nakamura’s other intern, Watari.

Honestly, there was nothing wrong with the kid. He actually seemed kind of sweet, but he was too quiet, too gentle. Iwaizumi was so used to being challenged by Oikawa that these sessions with Watari and Nakamura were a snooze fest. He had to admit though that Watari would be a way better anger management counselor than Oikawa.

And all they did the entire session was practice breathing exercises and talk about why Iwaizumi punched the dean’s son (which he’d thought was completely obvious). It was terrible and at times, Iwaizumi wished he’d just kept his mouth shut so he could bake cakes or whatever with Oikawa again.

Now, after that grueling hour-long session, all Iwaizumi wanted to do was go home and sleep. But since it was Wednesday, he still had homework to finish for tomorrow so he let his feet carry him towards the library.

As he passed the humanities building, he thought the last time he was around this area, the last time he’d seen Oikawa.

Honestly, they hadn't really texted much since then, mainly “good nights” and “good mornings.” Oikawa had said he had to focus on a massive one-on-one presentation that would count for 50% of his grade so he’d be busy until Thursday. But he still managed to find time to ask:

Shittykawa: Hey! Before I forget! after I’m done with my presentation, do u want to meet up? I can show u where the secret cafe is ;)

It was a tough question for Iwaizumi to answer, which is why he just left Oikawa on read. He was happy talking to Oikawa again, but every time Oikawa texted him something, anything, his stomach did that weird fluttering thing again. It wouldn’t be easy to shake that effect if they started hanging out like before.

On the other hand, he did really miss Oikawa… Texting and talking in person were two different things. Iwaizumi couldn't hear Oikawa's tinkling laugh through text or see the curve in his lips and the crinkle in his eyes when he smiled or smell the lavender shampoo in his hair. He missed all those little things about Oikawa and more. And he honestly kind of wanted to see what the secret coffee stand was like.

Iwaizumi made it all the way up to the second floor of the library and was about to set his stuff on one of the study tables when he heard some familiar voices. He spotted Hanamaki and Matsukawa a little ways away crouched behind one of the bookshelves and whispering fervently to each other.

“I don’t think we should do it. He looks sad.”

“How can you tell? You can’t even see his face.”

“Issei, he’s all slumped over.”

“He’s sleeping.”

“So? He could still be sad. And even if he wasn’t, I still don’t think we should. He’s got a presentation tomorrow and we’d just be adding to his stress.”

“Oh come on! He could use a little fun, especially after his breakup.”

“Breakup?” Iwaizumi said, startling the two of them. “Who broke up?”

Hanamaki’s eyes widened, “Iwaizumi!”

“Hmm no I think I would remember if I broke up with someone.”

Hanamaki laughed nervously, “That’s funny man.”

Iwaizumi waited, glancing between the two of them expectantly. They stared back at him, looking like a deer caught in headlights.

Finally, Matsukawa sighed. “Hiro, I'm gonna tell him. He needs to know.”


“He’s going to find out eventually.” He turned to Iwaizumi, “Oikawa and Sato broke up a couple of weeks ago. Sato cheated on him. It was really fucked up.”

There was, admittedly, a little part of Iwaizumi reveled in the fact that Sato and Oikawa’s relationship was over. But that happiness, that relief, was very quickly replaced by a surge of anger.

Sato had cheated on Oikawa. He was lucky enough to have Oikawa as a partner in the first place and he cheated on him???

That was probably why Oikawa was crying that day...

Iwaizumi’s fists balled up. He was going to beat the shit out of Sato the next time he saw him. He was going to rip his limbs off and shred them into pieces with his bare hands. He was going to make sure Sato never got within 50 feet of Oikawa Tooru ever again, at least not without sending him into a deep coma first. That asshole was going to regret the day he hurt one of the people Iwaizumi loved the most.

Huh… Maybe he did need those breathing exercises...

He turned on Hanamaki and hissed, “Why didn’t you want to tell me?”

“Because he was really fragile,” Hanamaki explained, “He came to us that night and just broke down. And then he told us everything and it was really personal...”

Matsukawa nodded solemnly, “Yeah it sucked. Which is why he needs some cheering up and what better way to do that than with silly string?”

“Issei, it'll get in his hair and he’ll get mad at us.”

Matsukawa gaped at him. “Who are you and what have you done with my boyfriend?”

Iwaizumi peeked around the corner. There, surrounded by open textbooks, highlighters, and loose-leaf papers, was Oikawa. He had his head buried in his arms and for a minute, Iwaizumi was worried he was crying again.

But his breathing was slow and steady. Asleep.

To the untrained eye, he would look like a regular college student, exhausted from work and taking a small nap.

But Iwaizumi knew better.

There was no way Oikawa would be caught dead in public looking like that. His hair was disheveled and stuck up in the back and he was wearing a crumpled, stained hoodie. Iwaizumi remembered how Oikawa had ranted about hoodies not being “presentable clothing” the day that Iwaizumi had worn one to their third session.

(“It just hides everything Iwa-chan. It makes your silhouette look like a blob.” Oikawa had said as he washed a cake battered bowl.

“I don’t care about silhouettes. I’m fucking comfy.”)

Yeah, Oikawa was a wreck. Sato must have done a real number on him.

Iwaizumi gripped the straps of his bag. Damn it. He wished he would have known sooner. He would have been able to comfort Oikawa instead of avoiding him for weeks like a jackass just because he was upset. Oikawa had been hurting this whole time and Iwaizumi hadn’t been there for him. Well, he was going to make up for that.

He left Hanamaki and Matsukawa to bicker behind the bookshelves and strode over to where Oikawa was sleeping. He sat down and moved some of the papers around so he could place his bag on the table, observing the rise and fall of Oikawa’s back from across the table.

Oikawa looked so peaceful and Iwaizumi knew he could use some more rest. So instead of waking him up, Iwaizumi extracted his textbook and a sheet of paper from his bag as quietly as he could and began to write. He saw Hanamaki and Matsukawa out of the corner of his eye wave at him and point to their phones.

Eyebrows: we’re gonna go watch a movie. u wanna come?

Pink Menace: yeah u can bring Oikawa. It could be like a double date ;)

me: no i have to do hmwk. And stfu makki

Pink Menace: aww! look ur even talking like him now

me: ur name has always been too long to spell

Pink Menace: we have the same number of letters???

Eyebrows: wait does this mean we get to call u iwa-chan now??

me: no

Pink Menace: Iwa-chan :3

Eyebrows: Iwa-chan~

me: STOP

He heard them snickering behind the bookshelf.

Pink Menace: Have fun on ur study date Iwa-chan~

Eyebrows: Don’t stay up too late

Pink Menace: Or do ;)

me: i hate u both

Eyebrows: we love u too <3

He rolled his eyes, put his phone back on the desk, and turned back to his work.

Oikawa awoke with his face plastered to the library desk and a little drool running from the corner of his mouth. He wiped it away and sat up, rubbing his eyes. How long had he been here?

He yawned and checked his phone. It was only five in the afternoon. Papers were strewn around him, some of which he recognized and some he didn’t. The seat across from him was taken up by a navy blue backpack.

He groaned. Someone must have been using the table while he was asleep and probably saw him all disheveled and drooly. They really couldn’t have picked a different table? Oikawa sighed.

At least they aren’t here now, he thought as he tried to fix his hair using his phone camera. Maybe I can just leave and avoid the embarrassment.

He was so tired though. Truthfully, there was no reason (in Oikawa’s mind) for him to be this exhausted. Yes, he did have a presentation to worry about on top of the surprise in-class essay his professor decided to give that morning where he practically wrote his hand off. And yes, he had watched a couple of documentaries the night before, meaning that he slept at 3 am again.

Plus there was also the fact that Iwa-chan had been ignoring his meetup text these past couple of days. That caused him to spiral back into thinking Iwa-chan was keeping him at arm's length because he was being too annoying again. And those thoughts weren’t really helping him sleep any better... but still.

There was a reason he had seated himself in a quiet section of the library. He was supposed to be extra productive now. He had to be.

Even as his body protested, Oikawa knew couldn’t sleep. Not when he had less than 19 hours to practice for his presentation tomorrow. He could relax after this.

He stretched and rearranged his papers. He still needed to memorize those three quotes from critics' studies of Freud’s ego, id, and superego. Where were they...

He yawned again. Ugh. All he wanted to do was just go back to his dorm, turn off all the lights, shut his eyes, and melt into his comforter. But he had to practice…

He felt his eyes droop. Maybe he could afford to nap just a little bit longer…

“If you’re gonna fall asleep again, at least do it somewhere comfy.”

Oikawa’s eyes snapped open and he looked up to see a familiar figure standing in front of his table looking very amused. A grin erupted on Oikawa’s face. “Iwa-chan!”

He practically leaped out of his chair, nearly tripping over his backpack as he threw himself at the other boy. He looped his arms around Iwa-chan’s neck, burying his face in his neck and shoulder. “I missed you so much.”

Iwa-chan was here. He was actually here, chuckling lightly, chest bumping slightly against Oikawa’s. He felt Iwa-chan’s arms wrap around his waist and pull him closer and he nearly sobbed in relief.

Iwa-chan was here. Everything between them was okay.

He wanted to stay like this forever, his cheek pressed against the soft gray material of Iwa-chan’s jacket. It was so comforting, something that Oikawa hadn’t felt since Makki had held him the night of his breakup. The stress of the past few days melted away while he stood there in Iwa-chan’s arms.

But then Iwa-chan pulled away and the moment was over. Oikawa straightened up, still aware he was smiling like an idiot. It was cheesy to think, but he swore the entire world was ten times brighter now.

They went back to their cramped little table and sat down. Iwa-chan leaned back in his chair, face scrunched up as he surveyed Oikawa. He looked exactly how Oikawa had remembered him, which was a little silly to think because it had only been a couple of weeks that they’d been apart. But to Oikawa, it felt like it’d been forever.

Iwa-chan then brought his gaze back to Oikawa’s and smiled.

Oikawa raised his eyebrows, “What is it, Iwa-chan?”

“Nothing. Just enjoying the view.”


“Yeah. It’s not every day I get to see you look like garbage.”

“Iwa-chan!” Oikawa exclaimed loudly and was shushed immediately. Oikawa lowered his voice to a whisper, “You’re so rude.”

Iwa-chan grinned. “Yeah, but you missed me.”

“I did.” Then Oikawa frowned, remembering something, “How come you didn’t text me back?”

“I had to check my schedule,” Iwa-chan said, not really meeting his eyes. “And I was busy. I had my first anger management session today.”

Oikawa cocked his head, “What do you mean first? I thought we were--”

“Our files got mixed up. Apparently, instead of anger management, I was actually in couples therapy.” Iwaizumi rubbed the back of his neck, shyly. “With you.”

Oikawa’s eyes grew wide, “Nakamura actually thought that we were a couple? That’s insane.”

“Yeah...” Iwa-chan’s smile wavered a little but he continued, “I told you he wasn’t that great of a therapist.”

“He’s a nationally ranked psychologist Iwa-chan. He has awards!”

“Yeah, and one of those is for being the biggest dumbass in the world.”

“He probably just got confused. It could happen to anyone.”

Iwa-chan scoffed. “Yeah right.”

“You know,” Oikawa sighed, “I really wish I could still sit in your sessions. The Hayatos are so boring. I swear they’re literally fighting over a teapot right now.”

Iwa-chan smirked. Oikawa didn’t like how smug he looked. “What?”

“What happened to all that doctor-patient confidentiality crap?”

Oikawa paused. Oh shit. “You didn’t hear anything.” He pointed at Iwa-chan’s forehead, “Delete it from your brain!”

“But what will I have to blackmail you with when you’re a big famous psychologist?”

Oikawa glared at him and Iwa-chan laughed, the sound making Oikawa smile again.

They lapsed into silence, Oikawa swinging his feet happily under the desk watching as Iwa-chan rearranged his papers. It was a nice peaceful moment between them.

Then one of Oikawa’s feet collided with Iwa-chan’s legs.

Iwa-chan winced and glared at him, “Are you just going to keep messing around, or are you gonna work on your presentation?”

“Ughhh Iwa-chan why’d you have to bring that up?” Oikawa buried his head in his arms again, “I have so many things to memorize. My brain can’t fit all of it in.”

Iwa-chan snorted, “If you can fit the entire case file of the Roswell Incident in there, you can memorize a 10-minute presentation.”

“But this is different! It’s worth so much of my grade and if I don’t do well, I’ll fail.”

“I’m sure you’ll be fine.”

Oikawa grumbled in response. He patted around for Iwa-chan’s wrist and pulled it to his head. Luckily, Oikawa didn’t have to explain. Iwa-chan just got the message and began combing his fingers through Oikawa’s hair. Oikawa closed his eyes, feeling more relaxed than he had been in these past couple of weeks.

“You know I think you just need a break.” he heard Iwa-chan say softly, “You’ve been working yourself too hard again.”

“But I only have 19 hours to practice Iwa-chan.” Oikawa whined, “I’m running out of time!”

He could practically hear Iwa-chan rolling his eyes. Next thing he knew he felt a sharp pain on his forehead. “Owww!” Oikawa sat up, rubbing his head, “Did you just flick me?”

“I’m trying to get the stupid out of your brain.” Iwa-chan replied, “Seems like it's impossible.”


“How about this?” Iwa-chan leaned back in his seat again, “You take me to that secret coffee stand now and I’ll help you practice your presentation for the rest of the night. Deal?”


They quickly packed up their things and Oikawa grabbed Iwa-chan’s wrist and pulled him towards the East Wing. Iwa-chan was quiet even though Oikawa was practically dragging him across the library. Huh… he should have been yelling at him to slow down by now. Strange.

They made it to the coffee stand and squeezed through the pillars to where Kunimi sat, earphones in, watching a video on his phone. He glanced up at them, eyes lingering on Oikawa’s and Iwaizumi’s flushed cheeks for a moment before returning his attention back to his phone.

“Tada!” Oikawa gestured around enthusiastically. “Isn’t it great?”

“It’s…small.” was Iwa-chan’s reply.

“Well, how else is it going to be kept a secret if it’s not small.”

“It won’t be a secret if you keep speaking so loud.” Kunimi said, pulling one earphone out, “Seriously, can you not? I’m trying to do stuff.”

“Why are you always in a hurry to kick people out?” Oikawa asked as he dispensed coffee into his and Iwa-chan’s cups.

“Because people are annoying and I have better things to do.”

“You’re definitely in the wrong profession then,” Iwa-chan said.

Kunimi made a noise of agreement, holding out his hand for Oikawa to drop some bills in it.

“You know Kunimi-kun,” Oikawa said, handing Iwa-chan his drink, “You can’t avoid people forever.”

“I can avoid you.” Kunimi scowled.

“No you can’t.” Oikawa smiled sweetly, “I’ll come and visit you every day~”

Kunimi looked to Iwaizumi, a fearful pleading expression on his face.

Iwa-chan laughed, “Don’t worry. I’ll keep him away from you. Come on Shittykawa.”

They ended up back in Oikawa’s dorm, shedding their shoes and tossing their empty coffee cups in the trash can. Oikawa immediately threw his stuff onto his bed and clambered onto it. He took the time to set up his powerpoint as Iwa-chan settled himself in Oikawa’s chair, poking the little UFO on his desk.

Oikawa watched him as his files were loading. It felt like such a familiar sight like Iwa-chan had always belonged there sitting in his room, playing with his stuff. Iwa-chan’s normally hard face had softened, something Oikawa appreciated because it made him look more like the kind, caring boy he’d come to love.

He took in the rest of Iwa-chan, wanting to memorize every bit of him just in case he didn’t get to see him for awhile again. His eyes roamed from Iwa-chan’s face to his broad shoulders down to the curve of his back. Huh... He’d almost forgotten how fit Iwa-chan was, noting the tanned muscles of his arms and his rough hands.

Why was Iwa-chan single again?

Was he a bad kisser or something?

Well even that could be fixed with a little practice…

His mind unconsciously flew back to that one fateful night when they’d been so close and Iwa-chan had looked at him through half-lidded eyes. Oikawa had remembered wanting to close the gap.

Oikawa had wanted it to happen. He’d wanted to kiss Iwaizumi so bad. The only thing that had stopped him before (besides Mattsun’s loud back cracking) was his devotion to Sato.

But now… now there was nothing stopping him from getting off the bed, looping his legs around Iwa-chan’s waist, and finally figuring out exactly how his lips tasted.

There was no reason he shouldn’t do that right now. No reason at all.

He’d wanted it then and come to think of it, he still wanted it now...

Brown eyes met green and Oikawa sucked in a breath.

“Are you okay?” Iwa-chan said, a slight concern in his voice.

Oikawa swallowed and turned back to his laptop, “Mhmm,” the hum came out unevenly. His hands shook a little.

Come on Oikawa, just do it. Close the gap.

But my presentation--

Close the gap.

I can’t.

Do it.

Oikawa felt something tap his foot and glanced up to see Iwa-chan fully facing him. “Listen I know you’re nervous, but you got this. Just tell me about your topic. Pretend you’re talking to me.”

It was so sweet how much Iwa-chan cared for him, how much reassurance lay in his eyes as he sat there watching Oikawa, a small relaxed smile playing on his face.

Oh my god, Iwa-chan you’re not making this any easier.

Because now all Oikawa could think about was just launching himself at Iwa-chan and kissing him senseless. It would feel so good to be able to do that. So good...

Do it.

Oikawa took a deep breath and placed his open laptop on the bed next to him and stood up. He’d figure out things with Iwa-chan later.

Presentation first.

Iwaizumi would be lying if he said he understood anything of what Oikawa said. There were all these psychology terms and old white men and theories that Iwaizumi couldn’t be bothered to figure out in his head.

He decided to focus on other things like how Oikawa moved his hands while he talked, how his brows furrowed with concentration when he explained things, how the light from the afternoon sun hit Oikawa’s face just right to where his eyes sparkled a little.

Oikawa was a bit shaky during his first run-through. Iwaizumi noticed he kept avoiding making eye contact (literally the one thing every professor grades you on) and called him out for it.

“It’s not my fault. You just keep looking at me like that.” Oikawa protested.

“What do you mean? I’m not looking at you any differently.” Iwaizumi folded his arms.

“You totally are.”

“Stop wasting time. Do it again. And make eye contact this time.”

Oikawa scowled and moved to reset his presentation. They practiced the speech a couple more times, but Oikawa was still having trouble. Every time he would even glance at Iwaizumi, his eyes would dart away quickly or he would lose track of what he was saying.

And Iwaizumi could see Oikawa was getting more and more frustrated with himself every time he had to backtrack.

"Okay, " Iwaizumi sighed, midway through Oikawa's fourth attempt. "What do you need me to do?"


“What do you need me to do so that you can get through this presentation? Is it the eye contact thing? Do you want me to not look at you for a round or something?”

Oikawa stood there silently, a slight frown on his face like he was debating something. His eyes darted around the room and there was a moment where he swore Oikawa glanced at his lips. No. He was probably just seeing things.

Finally, Oikawa took a deep breath and smiled, “No Iwa-chan I’m good.”

Iwaizumi rolled his eyes, “I know you were just thinking about something so just spit it out.”

“Iwa-chan it’s fine. It’s nothing.”

“Oikawa. Tell me.”

“No, it’s stupid. I--” Oikawa huffed frustratedly, “I can do this.”

“I know you can but if there’s something I can do to help--”

“I can do it!” Oikawa said sharply.

"Okay. Okay."

Oikawa glared at his computer, bright pink patches forming on his cheeks, as he clicked back to the last slide. It went more smoothly after that, and by the seventh attempt, Oikawa was comfortable enough with his performance to take a break. It was good timing too because Iwaizumi thought his brain was going to explode if he had to listen to Oikawa’s speech one more time.

Oikawa flattened himself on his bed and sighed, “Iwa-chan?”


“Can we still hang out tomorrow after my presentation’s done?”

“Sure.” Iwaizumi said, then wondered if that reply was too quick, “Uh... why?”

“It’ll give me something to look forward to. Like even if I completely fail, I’ll at least know that I’m meeting up with you afterward.”

“You’re planning something aren’t you?”

“No…” Oikawa said slowly, but there was a gleam in his eyes. Bastard.

“Fine. I’ll be there. But nothing too crazy okay?”

“Don’t worry Iwa-chan. It’ll be great!” Oikawa smiled up at him, “Oikawa and Iwa-chan’s day of fun!”

“No, I’ve changed my mind.”

“Too late!” Oikawa said happily, “You agreed and under this roof, all verbal agreements are final~”

“Is that what it says in your renter’s agreement?”


Great. What have I gotten myself into?

The sun had sunk low on the horizon and Oikawa got up to flick on the lights. Iwaizumi tried not to watch him as he did, pretending to pick at a thread on his jacket instead.

In truth, he was still moderately worried about Oikawa. He wanted to talk about the breakup, not that he wanted to know about the details (though that would be nice) but because he wanted to make sure Oikawa was doing alright now. He’d been acting a little off since they’d gotten back to his dorm. But Iwaizumi also didn’t want to stress Oikawa out by reminding him of whatever had happened between him and Sato...

Oikawa flopped back onto his bed, stretching.

Fuck it. He had to know.

“Oikawa.” Iwaizumi paused as Oikawa’s eyes snapped to him, “Uh... are you doing okay?”

Oikawa blinked up at him, innocently, “Yeah. Why?”

“Matsukawa told me you broke up with your boyfriend.”

“Oh. That.” The light in Oikawa’s eyes dimmed a little and Iwaizumi cursed himself for asking.

“I’m sorry I shouldn’t have--”

“No, it’s okay. I don’t mind.” Oikawa fixed his gaze up to the ceiling, “Honestly, some days really suck but I’m getting through it. I’ve stopped thinking about him as much.”

“Because of work?”

“No, it’s just…” Oikawa pressed his lips together, then said slowly, “I think I understand now what we were supposed to have. You know what I mean?”

“Not really.”

“You wouldn’t get it Iwa-chan.”

“Try me.”

“It’s like,” Oikawa continued, “when you realize how you're supposed to be treated in a relationship, then you get why things went wrong. And I guess that kind of makes it a little bit easier to deal with. It also helps when you surround yourself with good, kind people. You know, the type that gives you their Hello Kitty umbrellas on cold rainy days.” He was looking at Iwaizumi with a certain fondness that made him go back to pretending the thread on his sleeve was really interesting.

“Technically that umbrella was Hanamaki’s. You should give it back to him. He’s already pissy about it.”

Oikawa scoffed, swinging his legs over the side of his bed, “Well if he wants it back, he can pry it from my cold dead hands.”

Iwaizumi chuckled, “I didn’t realize you liked Hello Kitty that much.”

“She’s an international icon, Iwa-chan.” Oikawa rolled his eyes, pulling his computer into his lap, “Everyone knows that.”

“Right. How could I forget?”

Oikawa began typing something on his laptop and Iwaizumi began poking Oikawa’s little UFO thingy again. They let the silence stretch between them, just enjoying each other's company as the sky darkened into night and stars began to dot the sky.

But Iwaizumi knew he had to break the quiet.

Just for a moment.

Just so he was sure.

He hesitated a little before asking, “So, you’re okay then?”

“Yeah. I’m okay, Iwa-chan.” Oikawa replied, calmly, “But…” he continued slowly, and Iwaizumi heard the teasing lilt come back into his voice, “if you want to get me some milk bread~”

“No. I’m not buying you any more of that crap for the rest of the year. You practically emptied out my wallet the last time.”

“You could just steal some for me.”

Iwaizumi hummed like he was actually considering it, “Yeah, and serve some jail time.”

“I’d send you letters every day and visit you on weekends.” Oikawa said, “Maybe I could sneak you out?”

Maybe? You mean there’s a possibility that you’re just going to leave me in there?” Iwaizumi shook his head, “After all, I did for you.”

“Well, I have to make sure it’s a foolproof plan. It’ll take some time to get everything together.” Oikawa reasoned, “And then I’d have to convince Makki and Mattsun to help...”

“It’d be easier if you just pay for your own milk bread, Shittykawa.”

Oikawa tsked, “Keep calling me those names Iwa-chan and I’ll leave you in prison to rot.”

“You wouldn’t dare.”

“Watch me.”

There was a loud rattling at the door that made them both jump, followed by what sounded like a dropping of keys and a string of curses.

“Ah that’s probably Yahaba-kun.” Oikawa said as he slid off of his bed, “His key gets stuck sometimes.”

Sure enough, as soon as Oikawa opened the door, Oikawa’s roommate stormed in angrily. Iwaizumi recognized him as the same boy that had picked up Kyoutani after the puppy therapy event.

“That stupid fucking idiot.” Yahaba was grumbling.

“Yahaba-kun,” Oikawa said tentatively. Yahaba slammed his bag into his desk chair. “What’s wrong?” Yahaba still hadn’t noticed Iwaizumi sitting across the room, still mildly in shock.

Yahaba shut his eyes and took a deep breath before opening them again, “Kentaro and I had a fight. And I’m too fucking tired to deal with his bullshit right now.” He whipped out his phone, “I’m going to get ramen delivered and I am going to watch that stupid creepy show---”

“The Twilight Zone isn’t creepy--”

“--And I am going to go to bed.” Yahaba put his phone to his ear, turning to Oikawa, “You want anything?”

“Uh… whatever’s fine.” Oikawa answered, apparently still alarmed at his raging roommate, “Iwa-chan, did you want some ramen?”

Yahaba’s head snapped to where Iwaizumi was sitting and his eyes narrowed dangerously. Iwaizumi suddenly felt very unwelcome. He could take the hint.

“No. I’m good. I actually should probably head back now. I have a morning class tomorrow.” He noted the frown forming on Oikawa’s face as he quickly grabbed his things. “I’ll text you. Okay?”

Oikawa brightened immediately, “Okay!”

Iwaizumi wished he could have stayed, just for a little while longer. But the stewing presence of Yahaba forced him to keep moving until he was out the door.

Shittykawa: Iwa-chan :D

Shittykawa: Iwachannnnnnnnn

me: no

me: its 1am go to bed.

Shittykawa: ur still up >:(

me: u woke me up asshole

Shittykawa: oh… sorry about that ^u^*

Shittykawa: i just wanted to apologize about yahaba-kun. He’s just having a tough day.

me: its fine. I hope he and kyoutani work things out.

Shittykawa: ah they will! Oikawa-san will make sure of it (^u^)\

me: plz never refer to urself in the third person again

Shittykawa: :(

Shittykawa: ur just grumpy bc ur tired

me: i am. now can i sleep?

Shittykawa: ofc! See you tomorrow Iwa-chan <3

me: see you

Chapter Text

Iwaizumi tapped his foot against the wall of the psychology building. It felt weird standing out here, like he was skipping one of his sessions or something. A little part of him was even worried that Nakamura might walk out, spot him, and try to start a conversation about breathing exercises.

So he’d hidden in a corner and was texting Hanamaki to keep himself busy while he waited for Oikawa to finish his presentation.

Pink Menace: aw ur waiting for him? ur so whipped

me: like u wouldn’t do the same thing for matsukawa

Pink Menace: yes but we’re actually together so it’s ok for me to do that :P

me: friends can wait for each other to finish presentations!

Pink Menace: yeah but it’s different when one of them has feelings for the other.

Pink Menace: why don’t you just tell him you like him already? He’s single now

me: no. not yet.

Pink Menace: coward >:P

me: he just got out of a relationship! he needs time.

me: and I don’t want to be his rebound.

Pink Menace: so ur gonna let some other dude hit up Oikawa before u make a move?

me: no

Pink Menace: so then…????

me: I’m going to wait until he’s ready

Pink Menace: how r u gonna know that?

me: idk i’ll figure it out. I’ve gotten good at reading him

Pink Menace: dude

me: look. I just don’t want to be a replacement for his asshole ex boyfriend ok?

me: i want him to like me for me not because I fill some empty hole in his life

Pink Menace: ok...

Pink Menace: but how do u know he doesn’t already like u like that?

It wasn’t like Iwaizumi hadn’t considered it. It's just… as soon as the thought of Oikawa liking him back popped into his mind, Iwaizumi shut it down. He had been wrong before and it had hurt like a bitch. He wasn’t going to let himself assume anything different until Oikawa told Iwaizumi himself that he liked him. If he even does like him like that…

His phone buzzed again.

Pink Menace: just make sure you don’t wait too long Iwaizumi. pining is overrated

me: don’t tell me what to do

Pink Menace: I can and I will. I am older and taller than you.

me: -_-

Pink Menace: is that... an emoticon??

Pink Menace: hold on i gotta screenshot this and send it to Oikawa

Pink Menace: he’ll be so happy his Iwa-chan using them ;D

me: stfu Hanamaki

Iwaizumi checked the time. Oikawa should be done soon. It was only a ten-minute presentation after all. He still wasn’t sure what Oikawa had planned for today. Knowing him, it would either be something big and time-consuming or something elaborately thought out.

It honestly didn’t matter to Iwaizumi if it was any of those things (although he would prefer if it didn’t draw attention). Even if Oikawa didn’t have anything in mind, Iwaizumi would be okay just spending the day walking around campus with him, talking about the latest conspiracy theory Oikawa had unearthed.

He pocketed his phone.

Was it possible that Oikawa liked him though? No… Well what about when-- He stamped it down, refusing to let his mind analyze the times they spent together.

Don’t assume anything, Iwaizumi. Remember what happened last time.

Don’t give yourself that hope again.

He felt a poke on his shoulder and looked around.


“Hi Hajime,” Yasuda said warmly. She was wearing a light pink button-up this time coupled with a business skirt, her long brown hair tied up into a bun.

“Hi. What are you doing here?”

“Oh I have a presentation in a couple of minutes,” she held up her binder, “It’s a big chunk of my grade so I decided to come early but then I saw you hiding back here and you looked troubled so I thought I’d pay you a visit.”

“Ah,” he rubbed the back of his neck, nervously. Was he really that transparent? “I’m okay. You should just focus on your presentation.”

She hummed in agreement, “You know… you never texted me last week. You promised, remember?”

Right… He’d completely forgotten. He’d been more focused on how Oikawa had lit up at the sight of his umbrella that texting Yasuda had taken a back burner. “I’m sorry. I just don’t think it’s a good idea for us to get involved again.”

Her smile faltered and her eyes grew sad. Oh shit. Please don’t cry. Iwaizumi had always been terrible with girls crying. He just never knew what to do. Aren’t you supposed to hug them or something? But what if you were the one making them cry?

He felt his face flush from embarrassment and rambled on, “It’s not because of you. I just... I kind of have feelings for someone and I want to see where it goes.”

He was barely registering what he was saying. His thoughts just kept repeating, I’m sorry. I’m sorry. Please don’t cry. Don’t cry.

Yasuda nodded and put a hand on his arm, smiling slightly, “I understand. I will say I am a little disappointed, but I hope things go well for you two.”

He let out a sigh of relief.

She checked the time, “I should get going. My presentation starts soon. Good luck Hajime!”

“You too!” he called after her.

Oikawa was having a pretty good day. Sure it had been a stressful morning, most of it spent trying to cram in a couple more practice runs while Yahaba aggressively made cereal on his desk. He still didn’t know exactly what Mad Dog-chan had done to make his roommate so angry, since Yahaba refused to talk about last night, but he was determined to find out one way or another.

At any rate, his nerves took him to the psychology building an hour earlier than he was supposed to arrive and, in that time, he ran over his main points again and texted Iwa-chan where to meet him.

me: iwa-chan! Meet me outside the psych building at 12:15 ok ^u^

Iwa-chan :) : ok

Iwa-chan :) : and stop worrying ur going to be fine

me: i didn’t say i was worried :0

Iwa-chan :) : u didn’t need to. i can feel u freaking out from here

Iwa-chan :) : u got this. we practiced, remember?

Yeah they’d “practiced,” or rather Oikawa stumbled through his presentation multiple times while Iwa-chan sat there watching him embarrass himself. It was totally Iwa-chan’s fault by the way, no matter how much Iwa-chan said differently.

When Iwa-chan offered to do anything he could to help with the presentation, it had cost Oikawa everything to restrain himself from saying, “You could kiss me Iwa-chan.”

He had to pat himself on the back for holding that one in because it would have been super embarrassing and well… honestly if Iwa-chan had kissed him, he was pretty sure it wouldn’t have helped with his presentation.

...Would Iwa-chan have kissed him if he asked?

“Oikawa Tooru?” His professor’s pleasant voice floated over to him and he snapped out of it. He let himself be guided into her office for his presentation and took a deep breath as the door shut behind them.

I’ve got this.

Yes. Oikawa was having a pretty good day. His presentation had run smoothly and his professor had already told him to expect a good grade. Then, when he was halfway out of the building, he remembered Iwa-chan was waiting for him outside. Excitement coursed through his veins. Iwa-chan had no idea what he had planned for today and Oikawa couldn’t wait to see his reaction.

He heard his phone ping.

Makki: [image attached]

me: just make sure you don’t wait too long Iwaizumi. pining is overrated

IwaiZoomi: don’t tell me what to do

me: I can and I will. I am older and taller than you.

IwaiZoomi: -_-

me: is that... an emoticon??

me: hold on i gotta screenshot this and send it to Oikawa

me: he’ll be so happy his Iwa-chan using them ;D

IwaiZoomi: stfu Hanamaki

Makki: got Iwaizumi to use an emoticon for once XD

Oikawa puzzled over the first line of text for a second.

Just make sure you don’t wait too long. Pining is overrated…

Iwa-chan liked someone?

It wasn’t like Oikawa thought Iwa-chan was an emotionless robot incapable of love. It was just… well he couldn't really picture Iwa-chan having a crush on someone to the point of pining over them. He always assumed that Iwa-chan would be direct, not wait until Makki of all people had to push him to do something about it.

He read on, hoping the remaining messages would help him figure out who it was. It did bother him a bit that Iwa-chan hadn’t told him about his crush. Not that he cared. He just wanted to know who exactly piqued Iwa-chan’s interest.

Unfortunately, Oikawa’s quest for a name ended up being fruitless, which was a colossal disappointment. He still felt a bit of pride though when he read the words “his Iwa-chan.” He read that text over and over again and found he kind of liked that.

Iwaizumi was kind of his Iwa-chan if he really thought about it. He never let anyone but Oikawa call him that, at least without growling at them to shut the fuck up. He always seemed to have an eye out for Oikawa and always knew what he needed to hear. There was also the added bonus that Iwa-chan was apparently being infected by Oikawa’s usage of emoticons. Oikawa grinned as he typed up his response.

me: makki ur the greatest <3

Makki: i know ;)

It took him a while but Oikawa managed to find Iwa-chan tucked away in a corner, dressed in a plain white shirt and jeans. He looked… really good. The cut of the shirt showed off his tanned arms in the afternoon sun and, as a strong breeze blew by, Oikawa wondered if he was cold (not that he wanted Iwa-chan to put a jacket on). He also had his grumpy thinking face on again and Oikawa wondered what he could have been thinking so hard about.

He was just about to sneak over to scare him when a girl walked up and poked Iwa-chan on the shoulder. The first thing that Oikawa noticed about her was that she was pretty.

Really pretty.

Pretty enough to make him hang back a little and hide behind one of the pillars.

He watched the two of them converse, taking in more details of the girl. She looked familiar, maybe a classmate of his he didn’t feel like talking to. Her hair was almost the exact shade as Oikawa’s, just ever so slightly lighter. She was also clutching a purple binder in a way that accented her chest and batting her eyelashes at Iwa-chan every half a second.

Oikawa almost laughed. Poor Iwa-chan, subjected to such terrible flirting. He took a step forward, intent on saving him from an awkward denial. Oikawa had had a lot of practice rejecting confessions in high school. Iwa-chan would be lucky to see how it’s done.

But then she said something that made Iwa-chan rub his neck and flush and Oikawa frowned.

Why was she making Iwa-chan blush so hard? Was she just a good friend? No, couldn’t be. Iwa-chan looked too nervous around her. A girlfriend perhaps?

Or… maybe... Maybe she’s the girl that Iwa-chan was pining over.

Oikawa didn’t know how to feel about that.

Sure he wanted Iwa-chan to be happy, but there was a part of him, a surprisingly big part, that really didn’t want Iwa-chan to date this girl for whatever reason. Oikawa started calculating how exactly he was going to approach them and somehow tell this girl to back off.

She touched Iwa-chan’s arm gently and gave him a soft smile.

Oikawa froze, suddenly feeling white hot anger jolt through his system. Don’t touch him like that. You--You are not allowed to touch him like that. Get away from him before I come over there and--

She checked her watch, giving Iwaizumi a small wave. Oh thank god. Oikawa let out the breath he didn’t realize he was holding. Good that was it. That was all. Yes. Go away please. Forever. Thank you~

“Good luck Hajime!” He heard her call over her shoulder.



Who the fuck did this girl think she is? No one got to call Iwa-chan that. No one. Especially not that evil little twisted--

“You too!” Iwa-chan replied.

Oikawa scowled. The girl was coming towards his hiding spot, probably going into the psychology building. He ducked out from behind the pillar just as she passed him and purposefully knocked into her with more force than was necessary. She nearly went flying, a fact that shouldn’t have made Oikawa as happy as it did.

“Oh!” Oikawa said, feigning innocence. “I’m so sorry,”

“It’s ok!” she adjusted herself, “I should have been paying attention to where I was going.” She gave him a half smile before hurrying off into the building.

Honestly, she didn’t seem too bad, but only one word popped into Oikawa’s head as he watched her go. Bitch.

“Oi Shittykawa,” he heard Iwa-chan call from behind him.

He took a moment to calm himself a little and set aside the murderous thoughts he was having about that girl. He wasn’t going to let her ruin his day with Iwa-chan, not after he’d worked so hard to plan it. He spun around to face the other, plastering on a bright smile. “Hi Iwa-chan!”

Iwa-chan immediately made a face, “What the fuck is wrong with you?” For a second, Oikawa thought Iwa-chan had seen him knock into that girl. But then he poked Oikawa’s cheek, “Stop smiling like that. You look weird.”

Oikawa pretended to pout, “You don’t like my smiles Iwa-chan?”

“I don’t like them when they aren’t real.” Iwa-chan folded his arms, “What happened?”



“It’s nothing!”

“Oikawa.” The low dangerous rumble of Iwaizumi’s voice made Oikawa’s heart leap a little in his chest. Damn that was kind of hot... Had Iwa-chan always been this attractive when he was stern?

“You need to stop worrying about me, Iwa-chan.” Oikawa said playfully, avoiding Iwa-chan’s eyes as they walked back to the front steps of the building. “It’s becoming a bad habit~”

“Then you need to stop giving me reasons to worry about you,” Iwa-chan grumbled.

“I’m fine!” Oikawa took the stairs two at a time and when he reached the bottom, he turned to watch Iwa-chan clamber down the steps after him, “And my presentation went spectacularly thank you for asking.”

“Good. I’m glad.” Iwa-chan shoved his hands in his pockets. “So what do you have planned?”

“It’s a surprise!”

Iwa-chan gave him a withering look.

He had no idea.

Oikawa grinned, “We just have to stop by my place really quick.”

Oikawa opened his door and was just about to tell Iwa-chan to come in when he locked eyes with Yahaba. Yahaba, who was currently in a very compromising position on top of Mad-Dog chan. Oops.

“Yahoo! Don’t mind me.”


Oikawa shielded his eyes and quickly skirted around the room to grab the bag he’d packed earlier before dashing back to the door.

“Oikawa! Get out!”

“Ok! Bye Yahaba-kun! Remember protection!”


He closed the door with a snap, locking it. Well at least they seemed to have worked things out. Iwa-chan was staring at the opposite wall, beet red, no doubt having seen the same thing as Oikawa.

“Looks like we’re going to have to go to your place.” Oikawa chirped, “Come on Iwa-chan~”

“You really have no shame don’t you.” Iwa-chan said, as they made their way back outside.

“I do, but this,” Oikawa shook the bag lightly, “is way more important than feeling shameful.”

Iwa-chan sighed, “Just tell me what we’re doing.”

“Not yet!”

“You’re enjoying this aren’t you?”

“Very much. Oh!” Oikawa perked up, “Iwa-chan have I told you about this one lady who got abducted and experimented on by aliens?”

“Not yet.”

It took them a good 45 minutes to get back to Iwa-chan’s place, having stopped by a local shop to grab some takeout. In that time, Oikawa had recounted an entire case file and Iwa-chan not only listened intently, but had prodded Oikawa for more explanations on the plot holes of the story. Oikawa had never been happier talking with someone about alien abductions.

“I don’t know if I believe her.” Iwa-chan said, tossing his keys onto the counter.

“Then how do you explain the thing they put up her nose?”

“I just think it was convenient that she was abducted again and then the thing magically disappeared.” Iwa-chan walked over to the kitchen, “Like why wouldn’t they just take it out after they finished the X-ray?”

“They probably didn’t want to touch it in case it hurt her.”

“Or she just manipulated the X-ray results.”

“She had cartilage build up where that thing was Iwa-chan!” Oikawa placed their food on the coffee table and dropped his bag on the floor next to the couch. “It was there!”

“It’s still suspicious. If that thing really was in her nose, why did it take her two years to figure out it was up there?” Iwa-chan brought over some chopsticks and settled himself on the couch next to Oikawa. Their knees bumped a little. “I mean it must have been really uncomfortable.”

Oikawa rolled his eyes, “Well you see, Iwa-chan, alien technology--” Suddenly, Iwaizumi swung an arm around Oikawa’s neck and forced him down, gently pushing one of the chopsticks into Oikawa’s nostril.

”Augk!” Oikawa quickly wrenched himself away, eyes watering a bit, and the plastic stick slid out from his nose.

“See, it's uncomfortable.” Iwa-chan said matter-of-factly.

“A chopstick is completely different from a thin sheet of alien metal with coils on it.” Oikawa rubbed his nose.

“So you’re saying you want me to shove a piece of metal up there instead?”

Oikawa folded his arms and stuck his nose up. “You know I’m not even sure I want to give you your surprise anymore.” Iwa-chan gave no response to that so Oikawa cleared his throat and peeked over at him, repeating, “I said, I’m not even sure I want to give you your surprise anymore.”

Iwa-chan watched him with mild amusement. “Am I supposed to be upset about this? I mean I don’t even know what it is so it’s not like I really care.”

“Iwa-chan,” Oikawa pouted, “Just… okay?”

“I’m sorry. Please give me the surprise Shittykawa.”

Oikawa pulled the bag up onto the couch and handed it to Iwa-chan.

“Wow, an old bag.” Iwa-chan deadpanned. “Thanks. I’ll treasure it forever.”

Oikawa rolled his eyes, “Open it.”

He watched excitedly as Iwaizumi slowly unzipped the bag and peered inside.

“You’re giving me… rented Godzilla movies?”

“No. I’m giving you the opportunity to have a Godzilla marathon with yours truly!”

“And I would want that because…”

“Because you get to be in the same room with your two favorite things in the world. Me and the giant building destroying lizard.” Oikawa grinned, “Consider it the present I was supposed to gift you for that one assignment Nakamura gave us.”

Oikawa thought Iwa-chan would protest and say that Oikawa wasn’t one of his favorite things. Or at least complain that Oikawa’s gift was shitty. But, instead, he just stared at him.

There was a study Oikawa read in one of his classes that said your pupils dilate when you’re looking at someone you’re attracted to. He always thought it was bullshit because your pupils grow when you’re looking at dark things anyways (dark things like the other person’s pupils). Furthermore, he’d also tested it with Sato in a relatively well lit room and his eyes never did that when he looked at Oikawa so he’d concluded that it was bullshit.

But now… Iwa-chan’s eyes...

“Do you like it?” Oikawa asked tentatively.

“Yeah...” Iwa-chan blinked and looked back at the contents of the bag. “Did you borrow every single Godzilla movie?”

“I think so.”

“It’s going to take us days to go through all of these.”

Oikawa settled back on the couch, “Guess you’re stuck with me then.”

Iwa-chan snorted, “Guess so.”

He rummaged through the bag and pulled out the most battered looking DVD case. Oikawa guessed it was the first movie. Iwa-chan got up and put it in the player before clicking on the TV. As he set everything up, Oikawa went over to wash the dirty chopstick before opening up their takeout boxes and dividing their food into two bowls.

It felt very domestic, something Oikawa had missed having in his life. It was nice doing this kind of stuff again with Iwa-chan. He handed Iwaizumi his food and they sat back on the couch as the opening credits began to play.

Oikawa nibbled on some fried tofu, “You know I’ve never watched Godzilla before.”

Iwa-chan didn’t seem surprised. “It’s a good thing you’re watching it with me then.”

“Cause you know all the fun facts?”

“No, because if you fall asleep, I’ll kick your ass.”

It was nearing midnight, their food long gone. Oikawa had made it through seven and a half movies before he felt his eyes begin to droop. He rubbed them and tried to stifle a yawn so that Iwa-chan wouldn’t think he thought the movies were boring him.

Godzilla turned out to be very interesting and Oikawa enjoyed watching that giant lizard duke it out with a bunch of other giant creatures. He could see why Iwa-chan enjoyed it so much.

Speaking of, Iwa-chan’s eyes were still glued to the television, seemingly unaffected. For someone who kept dogging him about sleeping earlier, Iwa-chan sure knew how to stay awake.

Oikawa leaned back and shut his eyes for a minute, listening to the roars and screams produced by the TV.

The next time he opened his eyes he found himself lying in Iwaizumi’s lap, facing the TV. A pillow had been tucked under his head and a gray jacket had been laid over him. It smelled familiar, like something comforting and warm, with a slight hint of cinnamon. Fingers were gently threading themselves through his hair, careful not to pull through too hard so as not to wake him. Even the TV was quieter now, although Oikawa could still hear the occasional roar.

He shifted a little, adjusting his position so his neck didn’t cramp. The fingers in his hair stalled.

“Don’t stop.” Oikawa said sleepily.

“You should get going.” Iwa-chan said in a soft voice, “I know you have to see Nakamura tomorrow.”

“Mmm five more minutes.”


Oikawa knew Iwa-chan was right. It was late. He would have a session with Nakamura and the Hayatos in the afternoon and he still had homework to do and exams to study for. But he let himself shut his eyes again and enjoy this moment, the muffled sounds of the actors screaming while Iwa-chan ran his fingers through his hair, lulling him back to sleep.

When he woke up again, the TV was still on, replaying the menu screen of Son of Godzilla over and over again. Iwa-chan’s hand felt like a dead weight on his head. Oikawa carefully snuck out of his grasp and off the couch.

Iwa-chan was fast asleep, cheek pressed against the couch cushions. If Oikawa listened closely, he could hear little snores coming from Iwa-chan. Cute. He wanted to stay here and just wrap Iwa-chan’s arms around him and go back to sleep.

But he really had to be back in his dorm tonight, especially since he had to prepare some things with Nakamura for the Hayatos tomorrow. He checked the time. 4 am. Damn. He really needed to go.

He stretched and shut off the TV. Iwa-chan let out a little huff and shivered a little in his sleep. Cute. He should probably get Iwa-chan something warm before he left. It was common decency.

Oikawa carefully made his way to Iwa-chan’s bedroom, trying to be as quiet as possible. He’d probably be in big trouble if he was caught sneaking in here. The door creaked a little as it opened, which made him wince and look back at where Iwa-chan was snoozing. Nothing. Huh. Apparently, Iwa-chan slept like the dead when he was really tired.

This was the first time Oikawa had been in Iwaizumi’s room, and quite honestly, he didn’t know what else he was expecting. It was very… Iwa-chan. There were various sports posters plastered on his wall along with some photographs (Oikawa spotted a younger Hanamaki in some of them). A little calendar where Iwa-chan wrote due dates hung next to his bed and a decently sized Godzilla figurine stood roaring on his nightstand. Clothes were neatly packed into his drawers, trash emptied, and his bed was made. Oikawa smiled at the sight, adding “neatness” to his list of things that made Iwa-chan attractive.

He pulled off the top cover from the bed and scurried back into the living room, laying it gently on top of Iwa-chan.

And then… He honestly didn’t know why he did it. Maybe it was because he was so tired or still feeling slightly possessive since that morning…

He smoothed out Iwaizumi’s hair and pressed a kiss to his forehead.

“Goodnight Iwa-chan.”

The Hayatos’ sessions were getting more interesting, to say the least. Oikawa didn’t know how exactly the conversation evolved from Mr. Hayato’s prized teapot to Mrs. Hayato taking her handsome coworker to lunch for an entire week, but now he was way more invested in their case. However, with the drama came the screaming matches that both he and Nakamura had to de-escalate but at least they were entertaining.

They did leave Oikawa extremely exhausted and with a slight headache by the end of the day. He flopped onto his bed like a dead fish and laid there.

Yahaba-kun was out so the dorm was nice and quiet, which was great.

Except that it wasn’t. It meant that Oikawa was finally left alone with his thoughts again, and his mind, as tired as it was, started churning over his latest puzzlement.

Here’s what he knew:

1. Iwa-chan was crushing on someone hard (concrete evidence provided by Makki’s texts)

2. Pretty Girl made Iwa-chan nervous and blushy so it was very likely it was her

3. Pretty Girl seemed to like Iwa-chan too and was close enough with him that she could touch him and use his first name without Iwa-chan reacting negatively

4. Oikawa didn’t like that. He really didn’t like that.

Why was that?

And Oikawa, the good psychology student he was, decided to mull over that answer instead of napping. There was no real reason for him to be upset about Iwa-chan liking someone else.

Sure Oikawa liked Iwa-chan well enough to want to kiss him, but that was just kissing. Kissing and maybe a little making out. And maybe a little hand-holding, hair stroking, and cuddling. Maybe they would watch TV in Iwa-chan’s apartment like they’d done last night. They would tell each other about their days and cook dinner together and fall asleep on the couch all bundled up in blankets. And maybe, the next morning, do a little something more than making out...

But that wasn’t anything serious, right?


He sat up suddenly.

Oh no…

He grabbed his phone, dialing a number as fast as he could.

Oh no no nonono...


“Mattsun. I have a problem.”

“What happened?”

“I think…” Oikawa took a deep breath, “I think I might have feelings for Iwa-chan.”

Chapter Text

Oikawa tossed his phone on his bed before careening onto the mattress and burying his face in the covers. “Ughhhhh!”

“Tough day?” Yahaba’s voice floated over.

“No... Yes... I don’t know.”

“I’ll take that as a yes.”

Honestly, his day had actually been going well until just a couple of minutes ago when he’d gotten a series of texts from Makki.

Makki: Oi Oikawa!

Makki: Iwaizumi’s doing his anger management session rn and we’re thinking of going out after and getting wasted

Makki: U down?

And what else could Oikawa say but:

Me: ofc ^^

But truth be told, Oikawa was not looking forward to seeing Iwa-chan again at all.

It wasn’t that he didn’t want to see him or celebrate his release from anger management. It was just… Everything was so much worse now that he realized how much he actually liked Iwa-chan. Every text, every conversation they had had, every kind gesture that Iwa-chan had extended to him was suddenly romanticized to the max in Oikawa’s head and it sucked.

It prevented him from thinking clearly and from concentrating on lectures. His mind just kept going “Remember when Iwa-chan did _______” and “Does that mean Iwa-chan likes me?”

There was also the fact that he kept unconsciously doodling little Iwa-chans in the corner of his papers, usually with his trademark grumpy face. Then Oikawa would have to hurriedly erase them when his professor collected their work.

On the plus side though, his newfound feelings kept him happy, smiling, and blushing into his pillow deep into the night. He hadn’t felt butterflies for someone in such a long time. He’d forgotten how embarrassing it could be.

For example, Iwa-chan had asked him if he’d wanted to grab lunch on Saturday. And Oikawa had nearly cried over the text because, just the day before, Nakamura had invited him to go with him to an all-expense paid two-day conference up north for the weekend.

Oikawa would’ve gladly skipped if the conference wasn’t filled with so many big-name psychologists from across the globe. It was a great opportunity to network with the elite in the world of psychology and he would be stupid to cancel just to have lunch with Iwa-chan.

Iwa-chan was very understanding (of course, because Iwa-chan was perfect). He had encouraged Oikawa to go, saying that they’d just meet up some other day. As if that wasn’t enough, the morning of his departure, Iwa-chan texted Oikawa a “have a great trip” and, because Iwa-chan was perfect, he even added a little “:)” at the end.

It was such a small thing but it still made Oikawa’s heart leap and his eyes well up a bit, which had been hard to hide from Nakamura’s piercing gaze.

Why was Iwa-chan so adorable?

And why did it take him this long to realize it?

After that, their schedules hadn’t lined up at all so going out for drinks would be the first time Oikawa would see Iwa-chan since his revelation and he was already a nervous wreck.

He still wasn’t sure of the relationship between Iwa-chan and that girl (he learned in class her name was Yasuda) and thinking about the possibility of them being together only tightened the knots in his stomach. So he put it away in his mind and focused on the one thing he could control right now: looking as best as he could for Iwa-chan’s big day.

He showered and made sure to use his favorite conditioner, the one that made his hair extra soft and easy to style without product. Then he picked out three outfits and made Yahaba get off his ass and help him decide.

“I thought you said you’re just going out for drinks. Why are you freaking out so much?” Yahaba squinted at him suspiciously. “This isn’t like a date, is it?”

“No, it’s not. I just want to look good tonight.”

“Ah, I see,” Yahaba nodded, suddenly understanding, “Iwaizumi’s gonna be there, isn’t he?”

“Just because I’m dressing up doesn’t mean I’m dressing up for him.” Even though I kind of am. Oikawa shoved the rejected outfits back into his drawers.

“Uh-huh.” Yahaba seemed unconvinced as he grabbed his phone and laid back on his bed.

So what if he wanted to look good in front of Iwa-chan? It wasn’t a big deal. The last time he’d seen him, Oikawa had been in a stinky sweatshirt and his hair had been a mess.

No. He was not going to meet up with the others looking like a slob. Not today. Not when they were celebrating Iwa-chan. And especially not when there was a threat to his and Iwa-chan’s possible future relationship...

Huh… future relationship...

It sounded a little strange at first when he thought about him and Iwa-chan, but he knew that that’s what he wanted.

Now it was just a matter of figuring out if Iwa-chan wanted it with him.

There were some little not-so-little signs that Iwa-chan had displayed that might have shown he was interested in Oikawa. He did try to kiss Oikawa once, even though that felt like eons ago. But, he hadn’t tried again since so maybe those feelings had passed?

Well but then there was that thing last week where his pupils had dilated so scientifically Iwa-chan should be at least attracted to Oikawa, right? Unless Oikawa was overthinking it and blowing things out of proportion. He still wasn’t sure if that study was bullshit or not.

“Yahaba-kun, when Mad Dog-chan looks at you, do his pupils dilate?”

Yahaba tapped his chin, considering the question, “I don’t know. Never bothered to check.”


“Cause I think that whole pupil dilating thing is stupid.”

“Yeah… it is stupid,” and Oikawa mentally crossed off that piece of “scientific evidence” from his Does Iwa-chan Like Me? list. That sucked. “I’m gonna head out.”

“Are you staying over at Iwaizumi’s tonight?”

“You’re gonna call Mad Dog-chan over again aren’t you?”

“No.” Yahaba paused, “Well maybe…”

“Ugh, fine. I’ll ask him if I can stay over just for you. But you owe me.” Oikawa said as he stepped out of their dorm.

“Sure I do.”

Oikawa wasn’t the best with directions. Yes he could make it to his classes fine now but, it had taken him a couple of weeks to remember where they were without using a campus map. And apart from that, he usually had Mattsun to guide him around.

Now, however, he had to find this off-campus bar all alone and it was a little bit harder than he anticipated. And three wrong turns and constantly checking his phone every half a second definitely didn’t help his confidence. He wasn’t even sure if he was at the right bar until he saw Makki standing outside it, talking to…

Oikawa deflated.

Damn it. Of course she was here.


Really? Again?

She was laughing at something Makki said, her cute little blue dress swaying in the breeze and a brown paper bag clutched in her tiny dainty hands. Probably a gift for Iwa-chan. How precious. Oikawa thought bitterly. He should have gotten something for Iwa-chan too. Shit now Iwa-chan was going to like her more than him!

Yasuda had been smart too, wearing a dress like that when it was already growing cold. Iwa-chan, the gentleman that he is, would probably give her his jacket and ughh!

Oikawa really didn’t feel like joining them now. He didn’t want to be the fifth wheel tonight, especially when he’d have to watch Iwa-chan and Yasuda get all cozy together.

No, it’d be better if he just sent a “congrats” text to Iwa-chan and went back to his dorm-- wait no Yahaba was using the room… Then… Tsk he’ll figure something out.

“Oikawa!” he heard Makki call and saw the pink-haired boy wave him over.


What was the kindest way to say “Sorry I know I agreed to hang out but now I’m feeling too shitty to party because you invited her?”

Oikawa thought about it as he strolled over to them, plastering on a fake smile. Yasuda was smiling back sweetly at him, looking eager to make a new friend.

“Hi!” Oikawa said, trying to instill some energy into his voice. It still came out kind of flat. They didn’t seem to notice.

“Oikawa, this is Yasuda Masami,” Makki said, “She said she’s in your PSYCH 325 class.”

“With Professor Goda, I know.” Oikawa said as evenly as he could, “I’ve seen you around.”

She giggled, “Yeah you nearly knocked me over the last time we saw each other.”

Oikawa hummed, disinterestedly. “Where’s Mattsun?”

This question was directed at Makki, but Yasuda answered instead, “He’s helping his roommate set up a new TV!”

I didn’t ask you. Oikawa bit back that response, trying to remain poised.

“Yeah, he’ll be here soon.” Makki’s phone began to ring. “Hold on.”

He stepped away from them, facing the back alley as he took the call.

Oikawa really didn’t feel like talking to Yasuda, but well-instilled social skills and a slight curiosity about her prevented him from doing so. “So… how do you know Iwa-ch--Iwaizumi?”

“Hmm? Oh, we hooked up once at a party.”


She had said it like it was nothing, like how you’d comment on the weather. She didn’t know how much that fact killed Oikawa.

Honestly, he wasn’t expecting Iwaizumi to be a virgin. He actually liked it better that he wasn’t, less pressure and all that. But still…

He hadn’t expected Iwa-chan and Yasuda to have been together already or for Yasuda to offer that information up so freely. It made him think even more about the fact that Yasuda was already miles ahead of Oikawa in their “race” to capture Iwaizumi’s heart.

She was sweet and smart and pretty and Oikawa was just an emotional wreck. A very handsome emotional wreck, yes but he didn’t think that Iwa-chan was the kind of person who would just like someone for their looks.

It was also apparently a trial being Oikawa’s boyfriend. Sato had made that clear. So why would Iwaizumi want that in his life when he could have an easier relationship with someone better?

And there was the fact that Yasuda had experience with Iwa-chan enough to call him by his first name. She already knew what Iwaizumi’s lips tasted like... What he felt like… And Iwaizumi knew that about her too.


“Huh?” he said dazedly.

Yasuda blinked up at him, “I asked how you know Hajime?”

There it was again. Hajime. Oikawa remembered liking the word before and how it sounded aloud. Now it just stung.

“Oh um…” That was a long story and Oikawa didn’t feel like telling it in detail. He just wanted to go---somewhere. Somewhere not here. “I was his therapist’s intern.”

“I thought Watari was shadowing Nakamura’s anger management sessions?”

Of course you know that.

“Yeah, I’m doing Nakamura’s couples therapy sessions. Iwa-ch--Iwaizumi’s files just got mixed up and that’s how we met.” Oikawa’s brain suddenly grew tired and his stomach felt sick. He really didn’t want to talk to Yasuda anymore.

Why did she have to be here? Why did he have to ask her that question? Why did her answer have to be that? If she and Iwaizumi were practically together already, why did Oikawa have to stay here and watch them fall in love?

“I see... Well tell Hajime I said congrats!”

Wait. Oikawa's brain halted, “Y-You’re not staying?

“No, I can’t.” Yasuda grinned sheepishly, “It’s my mother’s birthday tonight and I snuck out to get some of her favorite desserts.” She held up the brown paper bag. “I have to go before I miss the train.” She started backing away, keeping her eyes on Oikawa’s, “But I’ll see you around, okay?”

“Uh--Yeah! Bye!” Oikawa said. She waved at Makki, who waved back, phone still glued to his ear. Then Yasuda disappeared around the corner.

It didn’t matter that she was gone though. What she’d said had done enough damage.

The same thought kept hammering into his brain. He never really had a chance with Iwaizumi, had he? Why would Iwaizumi go for a whiny annoying mess like Oikawa when he could have Yasuda? A girl who didn’t text him every half a minute to geek out over stars and aliens and conspiracy theories.

Iwaizumi was perfect, Yasuda was perfect, and Oikawa… wasn’t. It was hopeless.

He felt a hand on his shoulder. “Hey, are you okay?” Mattsun’s voice sounded from behind him. When did he get here? “You look like you need to sit down.”

Oikawa blinked up to see Mattsun and Makki watching him with concern. He took a shaky breath and nodded, letting himself be guided into the bar.

They sat at a table for four in the corner: Makki and Mattsun on one end of the booth and Oikawa on the other. He was going to attempt to put on a smile for them and be as upbeat as he could but one look in their eyes told him that he shouldn’t even try.

“Now,” Makki folded his hands, “tell Uncle Makki and Mattsun what’s wrong.”

“Yeah what happened?” Mattsun prodded him, “I thought you’d be over the moon about seeing Iwaizumi again.”

“I was. It’s just…” Oikawa sighed and rubbed his face, “Yasuda won.”

The other two glanced at each other, confused. “I’m sorry, was there like a psychology fair that we missed or something?” Makki said.

“Yeah what are you guys competing for…” Mattsun trailed off, then his eyes grew wide, “Ohhhh.

“What?” Makki said, glancing between the two of them.

Mattsun ignored him, “Oikawa I don’t think he even--”

“Please Mattsun, it's so obvious he likes her. I never stood a chance.”

“Wait wait wait,” Makki held up his hands, “what the fuck is going on?”

Mattsun looked pointedly at Oikawa.

Whatever. It’s not like he had much to lose by telling Makki too. “I like Iwa-chan.”

Makki’s mouth fell open and he actually seemed excited. “Like like like him?”

“Yeah,” Oikawa continued miserably, “but he likes Yasuda.”

“WHAT?!? Who the fuck told you that?”

“I figured it out.”

“From what??”

“The screenshot you sent me of your messages. You said Iwa-chan needed to quit pining and… well, I see how he gets around Yasuda. I know he’s got a crush on her and that they’ve been together,” Oikawa stared at the table, “They’d be the perfect couple.”

Makki just gaped at him.

“They’re going to be happy together and he’ll never see me as more than a friend.”

“Oh. My. God,” Makki closed his eyes and put his head in his hands, “Oh my god. I’m gonna need like ten thousand fucking shots if I’m going to get through tonight.”

Oikawa nodded, somber, “Me too.”

Mattsun sighed and slid out of the booth. “I’ll get us a round.”

Iwaizumi thought he was supposed to feel some sort of accomplishment when he finally finished his last session with Nakamura. He didn’t. He just wanted to get out of here and hang out with his friends.

“Are you sure you don’t want to continue your anger management sessions?” Nakamura asked, “Therapy sessions are covered in your tuition.”

“No, I'm good.” Really there was no point in doing these sessions if he didn’t have Oikawa to do them with. And even then he’d rather just hang out with Oikawa instead of going all the way to the psychology building to see him.

“Alright then if you’re sure.” Nakamura smiled at him, “It was a pleasure having you as a patient. You’ve grown a lot since we first met and I’m proud of how far you've come.” And Iwaizumi could tell he truly meant it. “I enjoyed our time together. You’ve been one of the most cooperative patients I’ve had in awhile and I wanted to thank you for that.”

Iwaizumi sat back on the couch. All this time, he thought Nakamura just saw him as just another hothead that was unlucky enough to have angered the dean. But it was nice to know that he actually did seem to care about his well-being.

It kind of made him feel guilty for calling Nakamura a dumbass behind his back. “Thank you for this experience. I’m really glad you were assigned as my counselor.”

Nakamura nodded, “There’s one more thing that you have to do before you’re officially done with these sessions.”

He made Iwaizumi stay seated on the couch as he rummaged through his desk drawers. He pulled out a stack of forms and brought them over along with a pen, placing them on the table between them before returning to his chair.

“Students who are mandated to take anger management sessions by the dean are required to fill out these exit forms detailing your experience. There’s also a couple of evaluations in there, one for myself and one for Watari. Those go to the dean as well.”

Iwaizumi checked his watch. He was supposed to meet up with Makki, Mattsun, and Oikawa in 10 minutes. He glanced at the stack of papers. “Is there any way I can just take these home and do them later?”

“They have to be completed at the end of our last session,” Nakamura said. “I can leave the room if that would make it easier for you. Just make sure you give it to the receptionist before you go.”

Iwaizumi nodded politely but, as soon as Nakamura left, he frowned at the forms.

Of course these sessions had to kick him in the ass one last time. What the fuck was this form bullshit? He flipped through the pages. There must have been like what? 25 pages? Double-sided? It was like the dean wanted to test the anger management skills he’d learned right then and there.

The top of the first page read “Congratulations on finishing your anger management sessions! Please fill out the following questionnaire. Make sure to bubble in your answers with blue or black ink.” He grumbled under his breath and pulled the cap off his pen.

This was going to take forever.

The dean was lucky that Iwaizumi actually read through each question and answered them honestly instead of just bubbling everything “excellent.” He had been tempted to but after his talk with Nakamura he decided to take these exit forms seriously, especially since he didn’t want to anger the dean again.

And, because he was feeling gracious and because they hadn’t really done anything but help him, Iwaizumi also took the time to write Nakamura and Watari lengthy positive reviews as well.

All that had taken so long to complete that by the time Iwaizumi recapped his pen, the sky had already grown dark. He handed off the stack of papers to the receptionist before stepping out into the night. There was a slight chill in the air as he walked and he yanked his hood over his head as he sent a text to Makki.

me: walking over now. Be there in 20

Pink Menace: NADMwFOVmojKAJOSD

…That couldn't be good.

He spotted the three of them loitering around the outside of the bar and immediately wanted to turn around and go straight home.

“Zoomi Zoomi!!” Hanamaki yelled, waving his arms in the air and swaying dangerously.

“You’ve gotta be fucking kidding me,” he muttered under his breath.

Iwaizumi knew exactly what Hanamaki was like when he was drunk out of his mind and he was not looking forward to what was coming next. Hanamaki tended to get short bursts of energy and then crash some place random at the end of the night.

It was not as fun as it sounded. Iwaizumi still remembered the day he’d woken up with the worst hangover of his life and had to extract an equally hungover Hanamaki out from behind the pipes of his kitchen sink (he didn’t know how he’d managed to squeeze himself back there either).

And judging by their demeanors, Iwaizumi was sure the other two were just as inebriated if not more. Matsukawa seemed unnaturally giggly and touchy, wrapping his arms around Hanamaki whenever he could. Gross.

Oikawa, at first glance, seemed to be the exact opposite. He was crouched back against the bar’s brick wall, staring blankly at his knees. The only way that Iwaizumi could tell that he was drunk was that he was swaying a little and kept mumbling incomprehensible things under his breath. It was a little concerning, but Iwaizumi knew he needed to take care of the other two clowns before Hanamaki disappeared and did something crazy.

Iwaizumi sighed, “So, let me get this straight,” Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Oikawa perk up at the sound of his voice. “We were supposed to be celebrating me finishing my sessions and now I'm supposed to take care of you three idiots. Explain to me how that works.”

“Consider it your final challenge!” Hanamaki said gleefully, “If you can get us home safely without yelling at us, you get an extra certificate!”

“Yeah,” Matsukawa said loudly, “this one will have an Oikawa stamp of approval. Right, Oikawa?”

Oikawa nodded vigorously, his eyes wide and bright.

Iwaizumi rolled his eyes, “That’s totally not worth it.”

“Oh come on Iwa-chan. It’s not our fault you’re late~” Oikawa withered under the look Iwaizumi shot him.

“I had to finish up some paperwork! And you guys shouldn’t have started without me.”

“Whoops!” Matsukawa cracked up and the other two snickered.

“How many shots did you guys have?”

“I stopped counting after 5,” Matsukawa replied.

“Oikawa downed six in a row.” Hanamaki said, “A legend!” Oikawa beamed at that.

Iwaizumi took a deep breath. This was not going well. It’s not like he wanted to get drunk in the first place but now he had to be the only one completely sober while everyone else was faced? It was so unfair.

“Alright, come on, let’s go. Matsukawa stop that, we're in public.”

Matsukawa extracted his hands out from under Hanamaki’s shirt and muttered something about being cold.

Iwaizumi turned to Oikawa, who was still sitting against the wall, “Get up.”

Oikawa raised his arms like a toddler wanting to be picked up. You’ve got to be kidding me. With another roll of his eyes, Iwaizumi begrudgingly pulled Oikawa to his feet.

“Thank you Iwa-chan~” Oikawa said sweetly.

“Ooo Iwaizumi, such a gentleman,” Hanamaki called.

“I literally just helped him up.”

“You touched hands. That’s gay.”

Oikawa giggled behind him and Iwaizumi’s cheeks burned. “Shut up Hanamaki.”

It honestly felt like Iwaizumi was a shepherd herding a bunch of drunk-ass sheep. Hanamaki and Matsukawa kept teetering on the flat ground ahead of him, laughing and pushing each other playfully. Every so often, they’d stumble or almost trip over something, giving Iwaizumi a small heart attack every time they did. God they were wasted.

And sometimes, when they’d start to wander off, Iwaizumi would have to bark directions at them and they would just laugh even harder. Stupid fucking sheep.

Meanwhile, Oikawa stuck to his side, swinging his arms and humming. He would still stumble every so often but overall he seemed happy…-ish. It was hard for Iwaizumi to tell in the low lighting on campus but honestly, Oikawa was just a little too energetic, too jittery…

Maybe this was just what Oikawa was like when he wasn’t worried about deadlines and internships and exams. Or maybe it was just how he was when he was drunk. Either way, something felt off about him like he was trying to hide something from Iwaizumi.

“Are you okay?”

“I’m fine, Iwa-chan.”

Iwaizumi sighed, “That’s what you always say and you never are.”

Oikawa stopped, making Iwaizumi come to a halt next to him, “You know what I’ve realized Iwa-chan?”


“You’re really short.”


He placed a hand on the top of Iwaizumi’s head. “Short.”

Iwaizumi swatted his hand away, “I am this close to punching you.”

“It’s cute~” Oikawa cooed, “My little Iwa-chan.”

“Fuck you Shittykawa.” Iwaizumi started walking again and, thankfully, Oikawa followed.

They spent the rest of the walk in silence, listening to the other two’s cackles echo around the dark empty campus. At one point, Oikawa stopped swinging his arms and just stared down at his hands which were trembling slightly.

Ah... Iwaizumi thought, so that’s what he’s trying to hide. Oikawa was nervous.

Iwaizumi would’ve thought downing six shots in a row would’ve calmed him down. That obviously didn’t work. At least he knew how to make Oikawa feel at least a little bit better now.

He reached out and grabbed one of Oikawa’s hands, bringing it down to the side. He’d never forgotten the fact that Oikawa’s love language was physical touch and so far, holding Oikawa’s hand always seemed to help him relax. Oikawa glanced down at their clasped hands and then back at Iwaizumi. Confusion was etched all over his face, which was weird because this wasn’t the first time they’d done this. It wasn’t a big deal. At least, it shouldn’t be.

Iwaizumi held his hand firmly. Well whatever was going on with Oikawa, even if he was just an anxious drunk in general, Iwaizumi wanted him to know that he was going to be there for him no matter what. He rubbed his thumb soothingly against Oikawa’s hand and heard a short sound escape from Oikawa’s lips. It sounded... sad? Confused?

Iwaizumi found that he didn’t care. He just wanted Oikawa to know that:

“It’s okay. I’m here for you.”

“Just for the record,” Hanamaki drawled as Iwaizumi tried to kick him into his apartment, “I think you are incredibly stupid. You and Oikawa. Stupid.”

“Yeah,” Matsukawa piped up, “You two are so fucking dumb man. How did you even make it to uni?”

Hanamaki’s eyes widened, “Ooh! Wait, are we gonna play Mario Kart? I told Oikawa I would beat your ass at it.”

“No.” Iwaizumi said through clenched teeth. “Shut up, get inside, and go to sleep.”

“No,” Matsukawa grinned as if being difficult was something to be proud of.

“Yeah,” Hanamaki flipped him off with both hands, “Fuck off Zoomi Zoomi.”

Okay so that’s how they were going to be? Iwaizumi untangled his hand from Oikawa's, pushed up the sleeves of his jacket, and cracked his knuckles. Time to get to work.

After he had safely secured Hanamaki and Matsukawa in his apartment, he realized that Oikawa hadn’t come in yet and went back outside to retrieve him. He was pacing back and forth in the hallway, muttering to himself again. He was clearly out of it again.

“Hey,” Iwaizumi said and Oikawa jumped, “you can come inside you know.”

“No, wait.” Oikawa whined, “I need to practice first.”


“I need to practice before I go in there and tell him so just... wait.”

Iwaizumi paused. Okay…. Whatever this was, it was either going to be really funny or really bad. He was kind of hoping for the first one. He leaned against the doorway, watching it all unfold. Oikawa took a couple steps back and sucked in a deep breath.

“Okay just let me give my speech to you okay? Pretend you’re Iwa-chan.”

“I am Iwa-chan.”

“Yes! Good! Exactly!”

Iwaizumi rolled his eyes.

“Iwa-chan,” Oikawa said slowly.


“I like you.”




Was he serious? No. No No No, he couldn’t be.

Iwaizumi quickly shook his head dismissively, “No, you don’t. You’re just drunk.”

Oikawa pouted, “I do! I like you a lot. You’re so kind and caring and you have really really nice arms--”

Iwaizumi couldn’t help but snort.

Oikawa ignored him, “And I always feel happy when you’re around because I feel like I can be myself with you and you’re just so adorable and perfect and amazing and supportive and you make me laugh and play with my hair and hold my hand. And I just--I wanna be with you.”

Oh my god was this real? This couldn’t be happening. Not right now. Iwaizumi stood there stunned as Oikawa rambled on.

“I wanna wake up and get milkbread and coffee with you in the mornings. I wanna make miso soup and bake ugly cakes and see every single meteor shower together. I wanna hang out at the library and share an umbrella with you when it’s cold and rainy. I wanna watch Godzilla movies and fall asleep on the couch together. I want to do all those things with you and more.”

Oikawa’s lips turned down slightly as he took a shaky breath before continuing, “And I know that you like Yasuda because she’s nice and beautiful and perfect and she calls you Hajime and you probably want to be with her and not me but… I had to tell you. I had to. Just so you know.”

“Oikawa…” Iwaizumi didn’t know how to respond. His mind was just whirling with so many questions.

Did Oikawa actually mean this? Or was it just the alcohol talking? Did Makki and Mattsun put Oikawa up to this to prank him? No, they wouldn’t be that cruel…

Either way, this shouldn’t be happening right now. Oikawa was extremely drunk. Even if Iwaizumi was pretty sure this was a real confession and even if he wanted nothing more than to tell Oikawa that he liked him too, there was a huge chance Oikawa wasn’t going to remember this in the morning.

He wasn’t going to let it go though. He would wait until Oikawa was sober to bring it up again and if Oikawa really did like him, he would tell him. Yeah that was a good plan.

Then Oikawa took a couple of steps forward. “You know, I’ve always wondered…” His eyes flickered to Iwaizumi’s lips and Iwaizumi’s mind immediately went blank. Oikawa raised a hand and cupped his cheek before leaning in.

This was a bad idea. And extremely bad idea. Iwaizumi knew that very well. He knew that even though he instinctively closed his eyes and let Oikawa press his lips firmly against his. They were soft and warm and plush, everything Iwaizumi had imagine them to be with just a sting of alcohol attached to them. It felt amazing. Wonderful. It was.. Wow… The cold night’s chill washed away to be replaced by a burning fire that spread from their lips into Iwaizumi’s body, igniting him dangerously.

But Iwaizumi knew Oikawa wasn’t thinking clearly enough for this. He still wasn’t totally sure if sober Oikawa would even want to be kissing him. Even if he did, Iwaizumi was certain that this wasn’t how he would have wanted their first kiss to go. At least this wasn’t how Iwaizumi had wanted it to go.

He broke the kiss, pushing Oikawa away gently. He’d have to explain this quickly before Oikawa got the wrong idea, “Oikawa it’s not that I don’t--”

Then he noticed Oikawa’s face had blanked out.

“Oikawa?” Iwaizumi said, tentatively.

Oikawa’s eyes grew wide and his skin paled.


And then Oikawa bowed his head and threw up all over Iwaizumi’s shoes.

Iwaizumi grimaced. Yeah that seemed about right.

“Get your ass inside before I murder you.”

Chapter Text

Oikawa couldn’t really process much when he woke up. His head was pounding, his mouth tasted like sour garbage, and he just felt terrible all over.

He did notice that he was currently tucked in bed covered in a plush comforter with a soft pillow cradling his head. The too bright sunlight bounced off the little window and created little rainbow streaks across the bedsheets. He could hear padding footsteps outside the room and the scrape of a metal pan on the burner. Someone must be cooking.

He rolled over and saw a familiar Godzilla figurine on the bedside table. Iwa-chan was the only thought his mind supplied before it went back to a pounding disoriented mess.

He kept getting little snapshots of last night: Makki telling him he was being stupid after his seventh shot and encouraging him to tell Iwa-chan how he felt. The three of them getting too rowdy, arguing about something, and getting kicked out of the bar.

He remembered hazily practicing his confession speech with someone and he definitely threw up. His head pounded painfully. Ughhh. Oikawa shut his eyes, shoving a pillow over his head wishing it would all just go away.

He woke up two hours later, head feeling marginally better. Someone had come in during that time and placed a cup of green tea, some pills, and a toothbrush on the nightstand. Oikawa took the pills with the tea. Then he grabbed the toothbrush and dragged himself out of Iwa-chan’s room.

The TV was off, the couch and floor littered with blankets and pillows. Two chairs had duct tape peeling off of them and apart from the sound of birds chirping outside, the rest of the apartment was eerily silent.

Oikawa fished his phone out of his pocket and checked the time. 9 am.

Damn. He’d missed his class with Professor Goda. Whatever. His mind was too jumbled to figure out if he should be freaking out about missing class.

Plus he didn’t really want to run into Yasuda again. Just thinking of her name made his head throb painfully. As he made his way to the bathroom, he noticed a little post-it note taped to the kitchen counter along with two bowls of ochazuke.

To whoever wakes up first,

Matsukawa and I went out to grab some groceries.

Eat your food.

We’ll be back soon.

Don’t do anything stupid.


Huh.. that meant Makki was somewhere around here too. Oikawa would look for him later. First he had to get this awful taste out of his mouth. One look in the mirror told him how much damage had occurred last night. His hair was a mess (naturally), his clothes rumpled, his eyebags more pronounced and redder than ever. He was a wreck.

The good news was that his headache was slowly ebbing away and, by the time he exited the bathroom, face washed and teeth cleaned, the bright sunlight didn’t bother him as much.

But Oikawa wasn’t never a morning person. His grogginess continued and instead of attending to his growling stomach, he opted to crawl back into Iwa-chan’s bed, pulling the covers back over himself. He nuzzled into the blankets, a familiar warm scent wrapping around him. He wondered briefly if this was what it would be like if Iwa-chan held him.

As soon as he started to drift off again, he heard the front door open, the crackling of plastic bags, and the muffled voices of Mattsun and Iwa-chan.

He couldn’t figure out what they were saying but he didn’t have to wonder for long. Footsteps approached his door and he quickly balled himself up in the covers.

He didn’t want to get up just yet. Five more minutes.

The bedroom door opened, a pause and then he heard Mattsun say, “Damn he’s a sleeper.”

“At least we know where he is,” Iwa-chan’s voice floated over.

“We’ll find Hiro. I know he’s somewhere around here.”

“He better be.”

“Should we wake him up though?” and Oikawa knew Mattsun was asking about him again.

“Yeah I’ll do it. Go eat.”

“Bless you Iwaizumi.”

There was some rustling at the door as Mattsun left and Oikawa heard Iwa-chan’s footsteps come closer. The bed dipped a little as a weight settled on the left side of the bed. Oikawa felt Iwa-chan lean over him, brushing some of the hairs out of his face. “Hey,” he said softly, “It’s time to get up.”

Oikawa ignored him, feigning sleep.

“I know you’re awake Shittykawa.”

“No you don’t.”

He heard Iwa-chan huff out a laugh, “You drank the tea and pills Matsukawa left for you,” Iwa-chan shook his shoulder, “Get up. There’s food.”

“I’m not hungry yet.” Oikawa mumbled but as soon as he said it, he heard his stomach rumble. Iwa-chan chuckled and Oikawa hissed out, “Traitor.”

He stretched and, peering over at Iwa-chan curiously, he found the other was watching him with a strange look on his face. Somehow it made Oikawa feel guilty. Did something happen last night? “I know I look like a mess Iwa-chan you don’t have to stare at me like that.”

“I think you look fine.” Iwa-chan said, strangely genuine, “Come on.” He held out his hand and pulled Oikawa up. The action felt familiar. Oikawa tried racking his brain, forcing it to remember. Nothing. Hmph.

Mattsun was sitting in the kitchen drinking tea and nibbling toast. Oikawa sat next to him and pulled one of the bowls of now-cold ochazuke to him while Iwa-chan began putting away the groceries.

Oikawa watched him as he ate, not having anything else to do. Iwa-chan looked nice today even though he was just wearing a loose tank top and shorts. Oikawa marveled at the way that he could look so good without any effort.

When Iwa-chan put some dry food on the higher shelves of his pantry, his shirt lifted up a little to reveal tanned muscled skin. Damn…. Yeah, Oikawa decided. Domestic Iwa-chan was really hot. He wished his shirt would lift just a bit higher...

Mattsun snorted next to him and Oikawa shot him a quick shut-the-fuck-up look before returning his attention back to Iwa-chan, “So how did you guys lose Makki?”

“I don’t know.” Iwa-chan sighed, “I literally strapped him to a chair, but he got out somehow.”

“That’s Hiro for you.” Mattsun said as he wiped some crumbs from his mouth. “He’s in here somewhere though. My boyfriend senses are tingling.”

“I wish they were better at finding him.” Iwa-chan grumbled, “I swear we’ve searched every inch of this apartment.”

Oikawa swallowed the last bit of rice from his bowl, thinking. His brain was still a little mushy, but if he pretended he was a drunk Makki…

Hmm… What if…

He got up and headed back into Iwa-chan’s room.

“Oi! Wash your bowl asshole,” he heard Iwa-chan call after him. But Oikawa was too busy trying to prove that he knew Makki’s twisted sense of humor well enough to go back and wash it.

Ah-hah! Just what he was looking for.

He slid open Iwa-chan’s closet door and saw a tuft of pink hair on the floor, “Hi Makki!”

He heard Iwa-chan and Mattsun dash over from the kitchen as the Makki ball stirred in his spot.

“What the fuck?” Iwa-chan said as soon as he caught sight of Makki, “Why are you in the closet?”

“I don’t know.” Makki rubbed his eyes, yawning, “I guess I just missed it.”

Oikawa and Mattsun snickered. Iwa-chan rolled his eyes and he grabbed Makki’s collar and dragged him out.

“That’s really disrespectful, Iwaizumi.” Makki mumbled, “You’re supposed to wait for me to come out on my own.”

“Shut the fuck up. We’ve been looking for you everywhere.”

“And Oikawa was the one that found me?” Makki tsked as he got to his feet, “I thought you two were better than that.”

“I’m sorry Hiro,” Mattsun said, solemnly, “I’ll do better next time.”

“I won’t.” Iwa-chan folded his arms, “You disappear again, I’m leaving you to rot.”

Makki put his hand on his chest in mock offense, “How dare you?”

“It’s your fault. I had to put up with so much of your bullshit last night,” Iwa-chan grumbled.

Makki squinted, as if that would help him remember the night before, “All I remember is that I called you fucking stupid.”

“Apparently we also tackled him and broke a lamp,” Mattsun added helpfully.

“Oh sick.”

“Wait until you hear what Oikawa did,” Mattsun smirked.

Oikawa’s eyes grew wide. Oh no. “What did I do?”

“You puked on him.”

Oikawa clapped a hand to his mouth. No he didn’t. No he didn’t. He did not vomit all over his crush. Noooo...

“Nice Oikawa!” Makki raised his hand to give him a high five.

An apology had already begun forming on Oikawa’s lips when last night suddenly came rushing back to him. Shit. SHIT.

He’d done more than just puke on Iwa-chan. He’d done so much more.

Oikawa physically cringed. He had thought he’d just practiced his confession speech to some random person or Mattsun. But now Oikawa’s memory cleared, showing him a familiar set of green eyes watching him as he unleashed every single Iwa-chan related thought he’d had these past few days.

Oikawa had actually given the confession speech to the real Iwa-chan last night. While he was completely wasted. And from what he could remember from the speech itself, it was absolute shit.

He wanted to curl up into a ball and die of embarrassment. Oh my god why did I say all that? It wasn’t supposed to go like that at all. He was supposed to tell Iwa-chan he liked him after they’d spent the day hanging out somewhere romantic that future Oikawa had planned. He wasn’t supposed to confess outside of Iwa-chan’s apartment after taking eight shots.

Everything got a thousand times worse when he remembered he’d also kissed Iwa-chan. For the first time. While drunk.

And then he felt sick immediately after the kiss and threw up on him.

Ohhh he was going to send last night Oikawa a big “fuck you” in the mail.

If any of this showed on Oikawa’s face, the other three ignored it, just continuing on with their conversation.

“You two are paying me back for that lamp by the way.” Iwa-chan was saying.

“Do we get to name it?” Makki asked.

“Why would you want to name it?”

“Sentimental value.”


“Fine.” Makki stretched, “You got some food or something? My head’s killing me.”

Oikawa sat on the couch, rubbing his hands together as he waited for Iwa-chan to get back from the bathroom. Makki and Mattsun had just left for their mid-afternoon classes, giving Oikawa the perfect opportunity to rip the band-aid off.

He really didn’t want to though, especially since it would remind Iwa-chan of all the embarrassing stuff he’d done last night (and he was really hoping Iwa-chan would’ve wiped that from his memory).

But Oikawa knew things would eventually get awkward if they didn’t talk about it. Well at least Oikawa’s mind wouldn’t stop beating him over the head until he figured out where he stood with Iwa-chan.

Speaking of, Iwa-chan emerged from the other room, “Oh good. You’re still here. I wanted to talk to you.”

“Yeah. Me too.” Oikawa took in a shaky breath as Iwa-chan sat next to him on the couch. “Uh…” He was watching Oikawa intently with those beautiful green eyes. Okay just take it easy. Play it cool. It’s just Iwa-chan.

But the way Iwa-chan was looking at him... So expectant and gentle at the same time… It suddenly became too much and Oikawa looked away, directing his apologies to the coffee table instead, “I’m sorry about last night. I was just drunk and I panicked and I ruined everything between us and I’m so so sorry.”

He had been so stupid. He couldn’t believe he’d told Iwa-chan all that when he was drunk. It was embarrassing and--oh my god this was such a mess. He was such a mess. He could feel panicked tears welling up in his eyes. He was going to lose Iwa-chan. He was going to lose him today right now and--

Iwa-chan shook him slightly. “Hey, stop thinking so much. You didn’t ruin anything.”

“No, I did. I gave you the worst confession ever and then I--”

“I know.” Iwaizumi cut him off, “I was there.”

“I’m sorry. I just--I really like you and I can’t believe I messed this all up.”

“Hey, Oikawa, look at me.”

But Oikawa kept his eyes glued to the coffee table. He was waiting for it. Waiting for Iwaizumi to lie and say that it was fine. That they could still be friends...

“Oikawa…” he heard Iwa-chan huff in frustration, “Tooru.”

Oh? Oikawa’s eyes snapped to Iwaizumi.

“I like you too.”

And the world stopped.

Iwa-chan liked him back.

Iwa-chan… Liked. Him. Back.

He actually liked him? Oikawa suddenly felt like he could run across campus twenty million times. He was so happy, ecstatic, over the fucking moon. He grinned.

Iwa-chan liked him.

He liked him.



He was practically radiating joy at this point. Then he remembered something. Something so awful...

He pulled away from Iwa-chan, put his face in his hands, and groaned. Because no matter what Iwa-chan said drunk Oikawa really had fucked up.

“What?” Iwa-chan sounded concerned. He should honestly be more upset because--

“I ruined our first kiss.” Oikawa wailed.

“You--” There was a pause and then Iwa-chan was laughing. Laughing.

Not the little chuckles he usually emitted. No. This was full-on uncontrolled laughter, the type that made you unconsciously scrunch up your shoulders and throw your head back. The type filled with wheezes and snorts.

It was kinda cute but Oikawa didn’t like the fact that Iwaizumi was laughing at him.

“It's not funny.” Oikawa sulked, “Iwa-chan! Stop! This is serious!” He grabbed one of the pillows off the floor and whacked him with it. “Stop!

Iwa-chan responded by slamming his own pillow into Oikawa’s side and Oikawa’s mouth twitched. Oh it was on.

He scrambled to find his bearings, countering Iwa-chan’s pillow strikes as he did. Iwa-chan was strong, but Oikawa had strategy on his side. He lept off of the couch, taking the higher ground and swinging the pillow as wildly as he could at his opponent.

He had the upper hand. He was going to win this battle for sure.

And then Iwa-chan somehow managed to snatch his pillow right out of his hands and tossed it aside before tugging Oikawa into his lap by the belt loops. Oikawa draped his arms around Iwa-chan’s shoulders and adjusted himself so that he was comfortably straddling him. There was a slightly smug look on Iwa-chan’s face that made Oikawa giggle a little.

“Hey.” Iwa-chan smiled at him.

“Hey.” Oikawa replied breathlessly.

“Are you really that upset about our first kiss?”

Well… he didn’t actually care as much now, especially since they were in this position, but Oikawa still pouted and nodded.

Iwa-chan reached up and brushed the pad of his thumb against Oikawa’s cheek. “You want me to fix it for you?”

A smile broke out on Oikawa’s face, “Mhmm...”

And Iwaizumi pulled him in.

It was soft, gentle... perfect.

Oikawa was sure there were better words to describe it but his mind was just freaking out and screaming “AAAAAAA” the entire time Iwa-chan’s lips were pressed against his.

And then it was over too quickly. Oikawa pouted as Iwa-chan pulled away.

“Better?” Iwa-chan said.

Oikawa pretended to think, “No.”

No?” and Oikawa almost laughed at how offended Iwa-chan sounded.

“No. It needs to be more like this.” Oikawa leaned back down, pressing a deep, hungry kiss against Iwa-chan’s lips. He hoped it conveyed everything he’d been feeling up until this point: the waiting, the wanting, the longing that he had had for Iwaizumi and for this moment.

And Iwa-chan got the message. He responded accordingly, flipping Oikawa over so that his back hit the couch and pressing down on top of him before slotting his mouth in his again.

And then Oikawa let himself lose track of everything.

Iwaizumi was the one that made the executive decision to move them to the bedroom.

Well… not really.

Oikawa had whispered “bed” against his lips and he wasn’t going to argue with that. He heard Oikawa moan a little as Iwaizumi slid his arms under his thighs to pick him up.

It suddenly became very hard to navigate his way to his room especially when Oikawa started leaving small bites and sloppy kisses on his neck. They bumped into one of Iwaizumi’s chairs and Oikawa nearly kicked over Iwaizumi’s other lamp but they (finally) made it through the bedroom door.

Iwaizumi unceremoniously tossed Oikawa onto the bed and Oikawa quickly pushed himself up on the mattress only to pull the other down with him again, crashing their lips back together.

Iwaizumi wanted this to last forever. He didn’t care if their kisses were sloppy or off center. He just wanted to keep Oikawa pressed up against him like this. He’d been waiting for this for so long… He dug his fingers into Oikawa’s waist as he slid his lips against Oikawa’s over and over again and heard Oikawa’s needy whine again, a noise that seemed to reverberate through his body.

It wasn’t enough. He wanted more. He needed more.

Oikawa seemed to feel the same because his legs came up and wrapped around Iwaizumi’s waist. Iwaizumi stifled a groan as he felt Oikawa’s hips against his.

Oikawa yanked him down further and Iwaizumi’s moan was muffled as their mouths fitted together again. He let one of his hands snake under Oikawa’s shirt and Oikawa shivered under him as his fingers traveled up his smooth skin.

Oikawa pulled Iwaizumi’s hips closer and arched up to grind against them. The motion made them both moan into each other’s mouths and Iwaizumi switched gears. He moved to kiss a line from Oikawa’s jaw down his throat before yanking his shirt collar aside for better access to his collarbone.

“Ah! Iwa-chan.” Oikawa breathed. He was on the same oblivious high that Iwaizumi was. Nothing else mattered. Nothing else in the world was going on except for this moment, this perfect moment where they devoured each other. Iwaizumi bit down and sucked and Oikawa let out a loud moan. God he sounded so beautiful.

That sound sparked a flame inside of Iwaizumi that grew hotter and brighter with every touch. Oikawa slid his hands down his chest and slipped a finger under the hem of Iwa-chan’s shirt, lifting it up a little.

Iwaizumi pulled away to remove it before capturing Oikawa’s lips again. Oikawa blindly ran his hands over his shoulders and down his body again and he smirked, reminded of Oikawa’s drunken drawl “--and you have really really nice arms.”

He wanted to feel Oikawa too and started pinching open the buttons on Oikawa’s soft blue shirt. When he got stuck on one, he unintentionally growled into Oikawa’s mouth causing the other to giggle at his eagerness.

His face heated up immediately as Oikawa pulled away to look up at him. They were both breathing heavily. Oikawa’s lips were red, his shirt crinkled, his hair a mess, small purple bruises were already forming on his neck, and Iwaizumi had never seen a more beautiful sight.

A small smile was playing on Oikawa’s face, “We have all day Iwa-chan.”

“I know.” Iwaizumi leaned forward so what he said next brushed against Oikawa’s lips, “But I’ve wasted too much time with you.”


Iwaizumi tried to ignore the hundreds of eyes that had snapped to their booth as he reached over the table to yank Hanamaki down. “Will you shut up?!” he hissed.

“But you did!”

“Yes but could you not announce that to the whole cafeteria?”

Hanamaki sat back in his seat, waving his hand dismissively. “Eh, I'm sure they already know. Oikawa’s not that good with hickey placement.”

“Bastard.” Iwaizumi yanked his hood over his head and pulled the strings tight. “He told me you couldn’t see them.”

“Well I’m just glad you guys finally got together.” Hanamaki said, taking a sip of coffee, “You don’t know how painful this has been for Issei and I, watching you two being complete idiots.”

Iwaizumi frowned, “You mean you two knew this whole time that he liked me and you didn’t tell me?”

“Hey I only found out a couple of hours before you did. It’s Issei you should be mad at. He told me yesterday that Oikawa called him as soon as he realized he liked you.”

Iwaizumi was about to grumble about how much he hated Matsukawa when he heard a familiar “Yahoo!” And it became very hard to be mad at anything when he knew who was attached to that sound.

He pursed his lips to hide the smile that had almost broken out on his face. Hanamaki rolled his eyes as Oikawa slid into the seat next to Iwaizumi. He smacked a kiss on his cheek (that was nice) before turning to Hanamaki. “Hi Makki!”

“Hello Oikawa.” Hanamaki folded his hands, “I see you had a nice night.”

“I most certainly did. Iwa-chan was very nice to me after you guys left.” Oikawa grinned slyly, “Well… not too nice.”

Iwaizumi’s face burned. “What are you doing here? Don’t you have a counseling session to go to?”

“I know. Just thought I’d stop by and see if you’d want to walk me there.”


“Iwa-chan please? Pretty please.”

There was no use fighting it, not when Oikawa had those damn sparkles in his eyes. What an asshole. Iwaizumi sighed, “Fine.”

He knew Oikawa wasn’t going to give up easy anyways and Iwaizumi didn’t have the energy to argue with him this early in the day. Besides, Iwaizumi reasoned, it’s not like he was severely opposed to taking a walk with his new… person? They had been too busy last night to confirm that they were boyfriends.

“Damn, I need to learn how to do that.” Hanamaki said, nodding at Oikawa, “Do you know how many things I could get away with if I had that kinda pull over Iwaizumi?”

“Guess you’ll never know.” Oikawa said haughtily as he scooted out of the booth.

Iwaizumi turned his attention back to Hanamaki, “We still doing game night tonight?”

“Yeah. You better stock up on your tissues. You’re gonna need them to wipe up your tears when I beat you.”

He leaned across the table to Hanamaki, “Never gonna happen.”

“I’ll do it.”

“Loser has to buy ramen for everyone tomorrow.”

“Deal.” And they shook on it. Hanamaki nodded to Oikawa, “We got a witness here so you can’t back out now.”

“Wasn’t planning on it.” Iwaizumi grinned, “You remember my ramen order right?”

“Fuck you Iwaizumi. Just leave already.”

Their walk to the psychology building was pleasant, familiar. The trees rustled slightly; the low distant sounds of trombones filled the air. Only instead of holding Nakamura’s nightmare of a coffee order, Iwaizumi now had Oikawa’s hand firmly in his grasp. He listened as Oikawa raved about this movie that Yahaba had told him about that morning when he got back to his dorm.

“And apparently, they didn’t have the budget for a robot costume so they hired an actor that had a gorilla suit and made him wear an astronaut helmet with it and called it a robot.”

“That’s terrible.”

“Wait, it gets better. You know how every supervillain has like a weapon they’re going to use to help them with world domination?”

Iwaizumi nodded as they came to a halt at the steps of the psychology building.

“Well, the robot’s weapon is a bubble gun.”

“Just a bubble gun?”

“Just a bubble gun.”

“...Okay we have to watch this movie.”

Oikawa laughed, “I’ll see if I can find it.”

Iwaizumi hummed, “We might have to wait next weekend though. I have an anatomy exam on Monday and I really need to study for it.”

“You need a tutor?” Oikawa asked, a smug look growing on his face, “I don’t know if you know this about me, but I’m great with the human body.”

Iwaizumi smirked, “Oh I know you are. That’s why you’re not allowed to help.” He pressed a light kiss to Oikawa’s lips, “Now go. You’re gonna be late.”

“I’ll see you tonight!”

“Yeah I’ll see you,” he watched Oikawa bounce up the steps and wave before disappearing into the psychology building.

And as Iwaizumi made his way back across campus, he realized that right now, at this point in his life, he was the happiest he’d ever been.

Chapter Text

23 months later

Iwaizumi awoke to sunlight streaming from his window and something hard and plastic sticking to his cheek. He pulled it off, squinted at it, before tossing it onto his nightstand and nudging the body next to him, “Hey.”

There was a soft noise of distress and a rustling of covers. “Mhmm, five more minutes,” Oikawa mumbled, nuzzling into his bare chest.

Iwaizumi rolled his eyes but wrapped his arms around Oikawa anyways. “One of your stars fell again.”

“I should hot glue them to the ceiling,” Oikawa said sleepily.

“Don’t. I need my security deposit back.” Iwaizumi closed his eyes and breathed in the familiar lavender scent of Oikawa’s hair. He was getting sleepy again too. “I can’t believe I let you stick these in here. They always keep falling on me.”

“Hot glue can fix that.”

“No.” Iwaizumi murmured, “Just tape them or something until we find our new place.”

He felt Oikawa wiggle under him and he shifted to look dazedly at his boyfriend’s wide eyes. “Our place?” Oikawa repeated.


Iwaizumi’s eyes shot open, “Uh... yeah. I figured after this semester, once we’re finished with university, we could... I mean I won’t be able to stay in this apartment anymore and I thought it might be nice to find a place for us that’s not too far from the clinic where we could maybe settle down and...”

Oikawa was smiling so brightly he could have rivaled the sun. Iwaizumi huffed out a laugh, already knowing the answer to his next question, “Would that be okay?”

Instead of answering, Oikawa connected their lips, and through it, Iwaizumi could feel every bit of excitement surge from Oikawa to him. They stayed there for a moment in their little bubble of happiness, pressing lazy kisses against each other’s lips over and over again. It was warm and cozy, the sunlight steadily heating up their bodies as it shone down on them. The soft sounds of the bedsheets shuffling and their slow, steady breathing between kisses accompanied the birds chirping outside.

Everything just felt right.

Then Iwaizumi’s alarm started blaring. His groan was muffled in Oikawa’s mouth and he was tempted to just let it ring because screw responsibilities, he just wanted to spend the morning with his stupid boyfriend.

But damn that sound was so fucking annoying. He detached himself from Oikawa to shut it off and when he turned back, he found Oikawa leaning back watching him fondly. Iwaizumi raised his eyebrows at him, but Oikawa just smiled, “I’m going to make some coffee okay?”


Oikawa gave him one last quick kiss and crawled out of their bed.

“Still didn’t get an answer by the way.” Iwaizumi called after him.

He heard a tinkling laugh from the kitchen, “If you don’t know what my answer was, you’re a lot dumber than I thought you were Iwa-chan.”

Iwaizumi got up and stretched before heading out to the kitchen himself. Oikawa was busy measuring out the coffee grinds when Iwaizumi’s arms snaked around his waist. Another kiss was pressed against his shoulder. “I know what your answer is. I just want to hear you say it.”

Oikawa closed the coffee container and turned around to drape his arms over Iwaizumi's shoulders. “I would love to move in with you Hajime.”

Iwaizumi reached over to click the coffee machine on before running his hands ‘round Oikawa’s waist and leaning in to kiss him again.

Even now, after almost two years of dating, Iwaizumi somehow found himself falling more and more in love with Oikawa every day (which was incredibly cliche to say but he didn’t know how else to describe it). There was always something new he noticed about Oikawa that reminded him how lucky he was.

Currently it was the way Oikawa still giggled a little after Iwaizumi kissed him like this. Soft, slow, tender--just like he had after their “first” kiss (the one Oikawa was actually sober for). It was nice to still hear that he still had that effect on Oikawa to this day.

Iwaizumi pulled away. “You do realize this would mean you have to start paying rent.”

“You mean I can’t pay with kisses anymore?” Oikawa teased.


Oikawa hummed disappointedly. He moved to grab a couple of mugs and Iwaizumi leaned back against the opposite counter watching him fill them with coffee.

Because Oikawa normally only stayed over for the weekends, Iwaizumi lived for domestic Monday morning moments like this. It helped him imagine what life would be like when they finally moved in together.

Sure, he’d probably have a lot more alien-themed items scattered around the place. And he’d also probably have to deal with Oikawa’s messes forever, see the pile of clothes that had been growing on his desk chair. Oikawa had promised to fold them into his designated drawer six months ago and despite Iwaizumi’s complaints, they still sat there.

But it would be worth it to wake up with his boyfriend every day and make breakfast together and tease him about the way his hair naturally stuck up. And it was nice imagining the morning rush that would ensue when they were running late to their respective jobs, the ones that would be filled with quick kisses and “I’ll see you when I get home”s.

As chaotic as it would be, Iwaizumi couldn’t wait for it.

He’d never been this in love with someone before. And, quite honestly, he thought as he looked at how Oikawa glowed in the morning light, he never wanted to stop.

Oikawa suddenly tsked, pulling Iwaizumi out of the clouds.


“I was planning to skip class today so I could spend the day with you but I forgot I have to pick up the last of my assignments and you have class and work and I have to prepare That Thing--”

“Oh yeah,” Iwaizumi’s heart sank a little at the thought, “I forgot you have to pack today.”

There was a reason why they had to wait until after graduation to move in together.

Oikawa’s internship with Nakamura had evolved now that he was a senior student. He was able to lead some of his own sessions while Nakamura observed him, which he’d excelled at. He was also allowed to attend more conferences and seminars. And “That Thing,” that reason for waiting, just so happened to be a seminar that started tomorrow, one that would be about six hours away and last for two months.

Yeah. Two whole months. Iwaizumi had never hated psychologists more.

What were they going to do for two fucking months? Discuss the brain and its functions? There was only so much you could talk about. He would know. He had to take like ten different anatomy classes for his major. Why couldn’t they just do this stuff online? Why did they have to take his boyfriend with them?

Of course Oikawa had the answers to that. He’d said the seminar was like taking an extra course with guest lectures and hands-on training from some of the top psychologists in the biggest therapy corporations in the nation. They’d be examining how Oikawa and Watari interacted with different patients and situations and if one of them caught someone’s eye, they’d be recruited for that company right on site.

Nakamura had told Oikawa about it last semester and Oikawa had spent the rest of that day freaking out about whether or not he should go before Iwaizumi came home from work and calmed him down.

They’d agreed back then that it would be a good opportunity for him and that he should do it, but Iwaizumi had a nagging suspicion that Oikawa was still on the fence about it, especially since Oikawa would take the 6 am train tomorrow with Nakamura and Watari and leave Iwaizumi here to finish the semester all by himself.

And honestly, Iwaizumi still didn’t know how he felt about it. He was happy for Oikawa of course. This seminar coupled with his stellar reputation, his charisma, and the fact that he was just about to graduate meant that Oikawa was guaranteed a job offer there.

Also two Oikawa-free months meant Iwaizumi could have the apartment all to himself again, something he hadn’t really had since he and Oikawa had started dating (Oikawa always made excuses to come over). He’d be able to wake up and do his early morning runs again without being coaxed back to bed. He’d be able to stretch out his legs on the couch after a long day, not having to worry about accidentally kicking Oikawa.

But on the other hand, they had never been apart for longer than a few weeks, just when they had to go home for the holidays. Even then, they still made time to visit each other and go out on dates so they were never really apart for that long.

Two whole months without Oikawa meant coming home after a grueling day at the clinic to a silent apartment. No tinkling laughter would greet him, no cuddles on the couch or promises to cook something for him when Oikawa knew he was too exhausted to do anything. No kisses, no extra body to warm him up in bed, no soft hair to run his fingers through.

They had talked about how they were going to deal with this separation, mainly texting and video calls when they were supposed to have downtime. But all the planning that they had put in to make sure their schedules would line up didn’t help the fact that it was going to be two months before they physically saw each other again.

He could tell Oikawa was thinking about it too just by the way he kept his eyes focused on the floorboards when he handed Iwaizumi his mug of coffee. It was going to be a little rough for the two of them. Two months somehow seemed both a short and a long time to be apart but Iwaizumi knew they’d manage. It was just like an extended holiday break with school work.

Now it was just a matter of convincing Oikawa that it wouldn’t be that bad. Iwaizumi took a sip of his coffee watching the cogs in his boyfriend’s brain turn, knowing that it was only making him think the worst. Maybe a distraction would work…

“Hey,” he nudged his foot, “remember we still have plans for tonight. Brightest meteor shower of the year.”

“Just us right? No Makki and Mattsun?”


Oikawa hummed again, his mind still clearly elsewhere.

So much for that.

They stood there in the kitchen, drinking their coffee and trying to enjoy the last normal morning they’d spend together for a while. But it was hard to do that when they both were aware of what was coming tomorrow.

A slight sadness blanketed the room. It made Iwaizumi wish they could go back to earlier that morning and live in that bubble of happiness for a little while longer.

Oikawa put down his mug and stepped forward, wrapping his arms around Iwaizumi’s waist and burying his face in his neck. Iwaizumi placed his mug down too and held him. It suddenly occurred to him how much he was going to miss holding Oikawa like this.

It’s just a couple of months. He’ll be back. Stop freaking out.

“I don’t wanna go, Iwa-chan.”

Then don’t, said the selfish part of Iwaizumi’s brain.

“It’s a good opportunity.” is what he said instead.

“I don’t care.”

“I do.” Iwaizumi pushed him up so he could look into those watery chocolate brown eyes, “Listen I don’t want to be the reason you miss out on things like this. You work so hard on everything your classes, your internship, and your patients throw at you and I know you’re going to do great things. And I never want to be the one to hold you back from being the best you can be, okay?” Oikawa nodded.

“Besides,” Iwaizumi patted Oikawa’s shoulder, “you need a way to pay for your half the rent.”

Oikawa laughed, pulling away completely to wipe his eyes. “I love you Iwa-chan.”

“I love you too.” Iwaizumi checked the time on the kitchen clock, “We better get a move on. You’re gonna make me late for class.”

“You can’t blame me for that! You’re the one that keeps distracting me!”

“Yeah yeah. Come on Shittykawa.” Iwaizumi pushed him to the bathroom.

Oikawa hadn’t felt this nervous since the day he and Iwa-chan had “the talk” and honestly it was mainly because he was worried there might be another talk coming soon. Maybe even tonight.

Yes he knew that Iwa-chan loved him and he loved Iwa-chan so so much but he couldn’t help it. Long-distance destroyed his last relationship and he didn’t want that to happen again.

He knew--He knew that Iwa-chan would never do what Sato had done. First of all, Iwa-chan wasn’t an uncommunicative asshole. Even when they had fights and Iwaizumi stormed out, Oikawa always knew that he would come back to talk things through.

And on the really bad days when they weren’t on speaking terms and it took longer for both of them to simmer down, they still made sure to at least text to each other “good morning” and “good night.”

Iwaizumi would never shut him out the way Sato did and he would never leave him the way that Sato had done.


But for some reason, Oikawa’s brain kept telling him that one day, in those two months apart, Iwa-chan would wake up and fall out of love with him. He would realize he was too good for Oikawa and, without warning, Oikawa would lose one of the best things that had ever happened to him.

These thoughts swirled around in his mind as they sat in the park, waiting for the meteor shower to start. Iwa-chan had his back against a tree trunk and was staring up at the sky, moonlight bathing his features. He was as gorgeous as ever.

Oikawa would have been searching for the first signs of the meteor shower too if he wasn’t too busy trying to memorize everything about Iwa-chan while he still could. The way that he slouched, the way that he breathed, the way that warmth seemed to radiate off of him.

It’s just two months. It’s just two months. Nothing’s going to happen. Iwa-chan will still be here when I get back.

But... that was also what he had thought when he’d left Sato four hours away when he’d transferred.

What if Iwa-chan became too busy for him? What if he realized that Oikawa was annoying and didn’t fit into his life anymore? Oikawa rubbed his eyes.

He trusted Iwa-chan. He did. He knew he was being stupid. He knew Iwa-chan wouldn’t--But it was so hard not to feel these things.

He felt arms wrap around his waist and Iwa-chan pulled him to his chest. “I can hear your brain overthinking again.” Iwa-chan’s hands rubbed his sides, “What’s wrong, Tooru?”

“Wouldn’t it be easier if we just broke up?”

Wait! WAIT! No! That wasn’t what he’d meant to say at all.

What?” Iwaizumi shot up quickly, forcing Oikawa to turn and look into his wide eyes, “What the fuck are you talking about?”

Panic flooded his system, “I don’t know. I just--”

Iwaizumi flicked his forehead.


“Are you insane? It’s just two months Shittykawa.”

“I-I know, but,” he sighed, “Never mind.”

“No. No, we're talking about this.” Iwaizumi said with a hard stare, “Do you really want to break up with me?”

“No!” Oikawa said quickly.

“Do you have any intention of breaking up with me while you’re gone?”

“No! Of course not!”

“Okay so tell your brain to shut the fuck up.” Iwaizumi grumbled, slumping back against the tree. “I don’t fucking believe this. Wanted to break up with me just cuz he’s fucking leaving.”

“I didn’t! I just-- you know how long-distance went for me last time. I just got nervous.” Oikawa’s hands shook a little, “Please don’t be mad at me, Iwa-chan.”

Please don’t break up with me after I said that. Please. Please.

“I’m not mad,” came Iwaizumi’s reply, “You just scared the shit outta me,” He opened his arms and let Oikawa crawl back into them. “Don’t say things like that.”

Oikawa could hear his heart racing in his chest and felt even more guilty. “I’m sorry.”

Iwa-chan pressed a kiss to the top of his head. “I love you Tooru. Even when you have to go to that stupid seminar tomorrow, I’ll still love you all the time that you’re there.”

“I know.”

“Then what are you nervous about?”

It was a genuine question. And honestly, if Oikawa really thought about the answer, while his head laid on Iwa-chan’s chest, everything did seem kind of silly.

Iwa-chan wasn’t Sato. He was a much better man. He was handsome and smart and funny. He understood Oikawa, was accepting of all his sides, and loved him unconditionally. And, most importantly, Iwaizumi was all Oikawa’s.

So what did he have to be nervous about?

Well maybe…

“Promise you’ll stick to the schedule?”

“Video calls twice a week at 8 pm.”

“And if anything messes with it, we text each other as soon as possible?”


“Okay.” Oikawa turned his eyes back to the sky. The first star streaked across its inky blackness, disappearing below the horizon.

“It’s gonna be fine.” Iwa-chan assured him, pressing another kiss into his hair, “We’re gonna be fine.”

“Yeah.” Oikawa snuggled closer to him as the heavens began to rain droplets of starlight above them. “We are.”

And Oikawa finally relaxed.

“I have everything.”

“Are you sure?”


“Phone? Charger? Laptop? Train ticket?”

“They’re all in my bag Hajime.” Oikawa said soothingly.

“Are you sure?”

“Oh my god do you want me to show them to you again?” Oikawa laughed, highly amused that his boyfriend was the one freaking out about this, especially when they were already standing at the train platform.

Iwa-chan frowned, folding his arms over his workout clothes. He’d told Oikawa he was going to go on a run after this and Oikawa had no idea how he could stay awake for it. It was way too early. “I just don’t want you to forget something and force me to have to take the train to get it to you.”

“I have everything, I swear.”

“Hello boys!” a voice called over to them and they turned to see Nakamura waddling over to them, ladened with his own luggage. “Iwaizumi!” Nakamura smiled and shook his hand, “Long time no see. How long has it been since your anger management sessions?”

“Almost two years sir.”

“Not here to sign up for more are you?”

“No. Just here to see my boyfriend off,” he nodded to Oikawa, whose face heated up immediately.

Nakamura glanced between them, his pleasant smile growing wider, “Ah I see. Well, I’m sorry our seminar is going to take so long.”

“It’s fine. As long as he comes back in one piece.”

“We will take good care of him.”

“I’m right here.” Oikawa pointed out, annoyed.

Nakamura chuckled, “Well I’m going to go see where Watari might be. It was nice seeing you again Iwaizumi.”

“You too sir.”

They watched Nakamura approach the ticket booth and pull out his phone to call Watari.

Iwaizumi turned back to Oikawa. “You didn’t tell him?”

“I didn’t think it was appropriate to tell my mentor about my love life.”

“I'm just surprised he didn’t know. I mean you two work together almost every day now.”

Oikawa shrugged, “I think he still feels awkward about the first time he assumed there was something between us.”

A loud clattering echoed from behind them and heads whipped around to the source. Watari scrambled down the stairs to pick up his fallen suitcase, grinning sheepishly at passersby before he scurried over to Nakamura.

Bright headlights soon shown through the dark tunnel quickly followed by a whoosh as the rest of the 6 am train came into view.

It was time.

Out of the corner of his eye, Oikawa saw Iwa-chan take a deep breath. “Okay. You have everything. You’re ready to go..."

He could tell Iwa-chan was having a hard time saying goodbye. And he knew exactly how he felt because all Oikawa wanted to do was stay here rooted to the spot and let that train take off without him.

The doors chimed open and passengers started flooding out.

“Oh! You know what Iwa-chan? I am forgetting something!”

Iwa-chan rolled his eyes, “I knew it. What is it?”

Oikawa cupped Iwaizumi’s cheek and kissed him with everything that he had.

One last long kiss for the road.

Over the bustle of the crowd, he heard Nakamura whistle at him to hurry and he pulled away. “I love you, Hajime.”

“I love you too, Tooru.”

And Oikawa scurried into the train car just before the doors slid shut.

He saw Iwa-chan wave and he raised a hand to wave back. Then the train jolted so hard he nearly fell over his luggage. Cheeks burning, he quickly straightened up and caught one last glimpse of Iwaizumi laughing his ass off before disappearing from sight.

Yeah. Oikawa smiled a little as he made his way to his seat. They were going to be fine.

Just 7 weeks and 6 days to go.