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celestia why do you have two traumatised children??

Chapter Text

[Chat: Welcome to hell]

 

Makoto: hey celeste? why r there 2 juniors following u around?

 

Celestia: I adopted them

 

Makoto: what.

 

Junko: i smelled TEA to be spilled???!!

 

Celestia: They are both orphans, and they happen to look like myself and Kyoko’s future children

 

Makoto: kyoko?? 

 

Kyoko: Yes, it is eerily accurate

 

Kyoko: makiandkokichi.png

 

Yasuhiro: whoa

 

Sayaka: They really do!

 

Celestia: I have obtained the adoption papers

 

Makoto: ur both still 18 tho???

 

Junko: i can feel the egg getting a migraine from here lol XDD

 

Makoto: kyoko? ur just letting this happen??

 

Kyoko: I suppose so

 

Makoto: oh my god




[Chat: BEST CLASS!! ☆*:.。.o(≧▽≦)o.。.:*☆]

 

Kokichi: guys guys!!!!! (*°▽°*)

 

Shuichi: what did you do now? 

 

Kokichi: wow, saihara-chan, so rude. u huwt my feewings o(TヘTo)

 

Shuichi: ;-;

 

Kokichi: me and makiroll got adopted!! (ノ◕ヮ◕)ノ*:・゚✧

 

Kaede: Congrats!!

 

Korekiyo: You have my congratulations.

 

Tenko: tenko is happy for you, harukawa-chan!

 

Maki: Thanks, i guess…

 

Shuichi: who did you get adopted by?

 

Kokichi: 2 of our upperclassmen!!

 

Shuichi: ????

 

Kaede: Aren’t they underage?

 

Kokichi: yepp! °˖✧◝(⁰▿⁰)◜✧˖°

 

Maki: And since we both got adopted, i guess the gremlin is now my brother

 

Kokichi: ewww! thats so weird to think about!!

 

Miu: suffer >:)

 

Kokichi: saihara-chan! miu is bullying me! (。•́︿•̀。)

 

Shuichi: why me?...

 

 

 

[Chat: H O P E]

 

Chiaki: whats going on with the 78 and 79 classes?

 

Hajime: no clue, but i want to remain oblivious


Chiaki: fair

Chapter Text

[Chat: red eye girl club]

 

Peko: What is going on in the other two classes?

 

Peko: I saw Naegi-kun in the corridor, hitting his head repeatedly against the wall

 

Celestia: I officially adopted Maki and Ouma-kun

 

Peko: This confuses me

 

Maki: Dw, Celes is more like an older sister to me

 

Celestia: I just needed a reason to remove them both from the shithole of an orphanage

 

Maki: Celes is the mature older sister and the gremlin is the annoying younger brother now

 

Peko: I see. I’m guessing Naegi-kun is in a state of confusion since you are technically underage

 

Celestia: You guess correctly

 

Celestia: I told him not to worry about it :)

 

Maki: Lmao, he must have been really spooked 

 

Celestia: Indeed. Now, what is our monthly prank to unnerve the other students going to be this time?

 

Peko: I have an good idea




[Chat: BEST CLASS!! ☆*:.。.o(≧▽≦)o.。.:*☆]

 

Kaede: oH MY GOD 

 

Kaede: WHAT THE ABSOLUTE FUCK-

 

Miu: the fuck is going on

 

Shuichi: akamatsu-san?

 

Kokichi: nishishishi~

 

Rantaro: did u just type out ur laugh?

 

Kokichi: mayyyybe? (¬‿¬ )

 

Shuichi: what did you do now?

 

Kokichi: i didnt do anything!

 

Shuichi: somehow i doubt that

 

Kokichi: (。T ω T。)

 

Miu: spit it out, ya purple rat

 

Ryoma: I came out to get a cup of coffee and instead I nearly get a heart attack

 

Kaito: what happened??

 

Ryoma: Come out here and see

 

Kaito: alright aireybfsuebkgefsrhdbkywyseu

 

Shuichi: momota-kun?? what’s happening???

 

Ryoma: He’s fine, just fainted

 

Shuichi: that doesn’t sound very fine!!

 

Kokichi: wowww, momota-chan is such a scaredy-cat ヽ( ̄ω ̄ )

 

Kaede: Im back D:

 

Kaede: Warning, do NOT go into the common room

 

Shuichi: what’s going on?!?!

 

Kaede: Unspeakable horrors

 

Korekiyo: Kekekeke, humanity is beautiful~

 

Tenko: you degenerate males are disturbing yumeno-san from her nap!

 

Himiko: nyeh,,,what’s going on?,,,

 

Kaede: Nothing!!

 

Kaede: Tenko, please don’t let Himiko go into the common room!!

 

Tenko: alright, akamatsu-san!!

 

Shuichi: akamatsu-san? you still haven't told us what happened

 

Kaede: So I walk into the common room 

 

Kaede: And what do I see but Maki, Ludenberg-senpai and Pekoyama-senpai hanging from the ceiling like fucking BATS

 

Kaede: As one, they turn to look at me with GLOWING RED EYES and HISS

 

Kokichi: nishishishi~

 

Shuichi: is momota-kun still unconscious?

 

Kaede: I think so?

 

Angie: Oh my!~

 

Angie: It looks like these three need Atua in their lives! :3

 

Shuichi: yonaga-san, please don’t

 

Tenko: tenko has already barricaded yonaga-san’s door!

 

Angie: Atua will be very displeased with you >:(

 

Kaede: I can deal with that

 

Kaede: I, however, can never look at Maki the same way again

 

Ryoma: Understandable, have a great day

 

Rantaro: maybe they want a blood sacrifice

 

Kaede: nO

 

Miu: keebs, make some popcorn. this is fucking GOLDEN




[Chat: H O P E]

 

Chiaki: whats going on now? i hear lots of screaming,,,

 

Nagito: The common room is devoid of hope tonight...how disappointing

 

Gundham: My fellow Sister of Darkness has informed me that she is conducting a test of spiritual courage tonight.

 

Hiyoko: translation, dark weirdo??

 

Sonia: Oh! Who, may I ask, is this fellow Sister of Darkness?

 

Gundham: ‘Tis the fair maiden Ludenberg-san.

 

Hajime: if anyone needs me, i’ll be in my room regretting my life decisions

 

Chiaki: mood

Chapter Text

[Chat: Welcome to hell]

 

Makoto: celeste, pls retrieve ur son

 

Celestia: Oh? What did he do?

 

Makoto: hes glitter-bombing everyone while yelling “gay rights”

 

Celestia: In that case, he has my blessing

 

Leon: LMAO

 

Makoto: kyoko pls reason with her

 

Kyoko: No no, I agree

 

Kyoko: LGBTQ+ rights

 

Aoi: impromptu pride parade? im in!

 

Makoto: guys please

 

Junko: glitterprideparade.png

 

Junko: this is chaos and i am LOVING it!!!

 

Celestia: I have taught my children well

 

Sayaka: Omg this is gr8

 

Makoto: kill me




[Chat: H O P E]

 

Ibuki: GUYS!!!! PRIDE PARADE IN THE HALLWAYS!!!! OUMA-KUN BROUGHT GLITTER!!!!!!

 

Hiyoko: over-enthusiastic much?

 

Mahiru: Hiyoko, be nice

 

Hajime: so that’s why naegi is lying on the floor crying

 

Chiaki: he does that a lot recently

 

Nagito: Ah, such hope~

 

Ibuki: IBUKI HAS HER PRIDE FLAG READY!!! DO ANY OF IBUKI’S CLASSMATES WANT TO BORROW A FLAG???

 

Nagito: Thank you for the offer, Mioda-san, but I have my own flag.

 

Nagito: nagitowearingrainbowscarf.png

 

Nagito: And a new scarf :)

 

Chiaki: nice

 

Sonia: That is a very nice scarf, Nagito!

 

Hajime: looks good

 

Chiaki: literally almost everyone has joined in the pride parade and makoto looks so done

 

Hajime: yeah i feel kinda bad for him

 

Ibuki: ARE YOU GUYS COMING OR NOT??

 

Ibuki: EVERYONE ELSE IS HERE ALREADY!!!!

 

Chiaki: coming




[Private message: Komaru > Toko]

 

Komaru: hey toko

 

Komaru: whats going on

 

Komaru: i think my brothers gonna have an aneurysm

 

Toko: That idiot Ouma started a pride parade in the hallways and no one’s stopping him.

 

Komaru: that sounds so fun! im coming over rn!!

 

Toko: Komaru no

 

Komaru: komaru yes :)

 

Komaru: ill bring a flag for u 2

 

Toko: ...You can’t make me

 

Komaru: ik where ur dorm room is




[Chat: BEST CLASS!! ☆*:.。.o(≧▽≦)o.。.:*☆]

 

Kokichi: i regret nothing ╮(︶▽︶)╭

 

Shuichi: i regret everything

 

Kaede: Oh come on, Shuichi! It was fun!!

 

Maki: Thanks for making me that poster, Angie

 

Angie: It was no problem!~

 

Rantaro: yknow somehow im not surprised that maki is ace

 

Kaede: Yeah she just gives off that kinda vibe

 

Maki: Thanks?...

 

Tenko: tenko thinks that harukawa-san is very valid!!! 

 

Kokichi: here it comes!

 

Miu: 3

 

Angie: 2!

 

K1-B0: Sigh

 

K1-B0:

 

Tenko: it just proves that women don’t need a degenerate male in their lives!!

 

Miu: FUCKING CALLED IT

 

Kokichi: and here we see a lesbian feminist in her natural habitat

 

Rantaro: actually, i think tenkos a misandrist

 

Kaede: That actually explains a lot

 

Gonta: Hello, friends! 

 

Angie: Hello Gonta!~

 

Kaede: Hihi

 

Maki: Resident angel melting everyone’s hearts

 

Kokichi: Σ(°ロ°)

 

Kokichi: makiroll being soft??!!

 

Rantaro: more likely than u think

 

Kokichi: ヾ(・ω・)メ(・ω・)ノ

 

Maki: Do you wanna die?

 

Kokichi: you would kill ur own brother? o(TヘTo)

 

Maki: Try me, bitch

 

Maki: I won’t hesitate

 

Kaede: Maki memeing??

 

Rantaro: more likely than u think

Chapter Text

[Chat: Welcome to hell]

 

Makoto: celestia?! why is kyoko telling me you adopted another child?!?

 

Sayaka: Ooh! Who is it??

 

Celestia: Kotoko Utsugi, the Lil’ Ultimate Drama. Her father is an abusive asshole and her mom basically prostitutes herself and Kotoko to earn money

 

Junko: O_o

 

Makoto: nvm

 

Celestia: That’s what I thought

 

Celestia: Anyways, I’ll be bringing Kotoko over later to have tea with me, do not scare her off

 

Sayaka: Ofc we won’t!

 

Aoi: i love kids!! :DD

 

Celestia: She has a few emotional triggers, so here are a list of rules when she’s around

 

Junko: damn, celeste over here being a true mom lmaoo XD

 

Celestia: 1) Do not use the word ‘gentle’, in any context, around her. She will freak out and I will kill you :)

 

Aoi: i feel scared now ;-;

 

Celestia: 2) Don’t be a creep around her (looking at you, Yamada). She’s had bad experiences already

 

Hifumi: Im not that bad!

 

Celestia: Yes you are

 

Kyoko: ^^

 

Kyoko: Also note that if any of you do trigger her, I will be helping Celes in ensuring that your body will never be found

 

Aoi: yk what ill just stay out of the dorms this afternoon

 

Leon: same

 

Celestia: 3) Don’t baby her. She hates it when people pity her, and while this may not trigger anything, I will still make your life living hell

 

Makoto: got it

 

Chihiro: understood!

 

Celestia: Good




[Chat: Dysfunctional family]

 

-Kyoko added Kotoko to the chat-

 

Celestia: Greetings, Kotoko

 

Celestia: Did you enjoy your day?

 

Kotoko: yep yep! it was super fun!! i love ur cat!!!!!

 

Kokichi: (o_O) !

 

Kokichi: u have a cat?!?

 

Kokichi: and u didnt tell me?? (。T ω T。)

 

Maki: Shut up, gremlin

 

Celestia: Yes, I have a cat

 

Celestia: grandboisludenberg.png

 

Kyoko: Before we face any awkward situations, I wanted to ask if any of you have significant others

 

Kotoko: whats that?

 

Kyoko: Are you dating anyone

 

Kotoko: i dont think so??

 

Maki: I’m aroace

 

Maki: But ik the gremlin is dating Saihara

 

Kokichi: makiroll why would u out me like that (T_T)

 

Maki: Stop calling me that

 

Kokichi: no <3

 

Kyoko: Saihara? As in the other Ultimate Detective?

 

Kokichi: yep!

 

Kyoko: Oh my god my son is dating my apprentice

 

Kyoko: Now I understand why he’s been so awkward lately

 

Celestia: Do you need some tea?

 

Kyoko: Yes please

 

Maki: Great job, gremlin, you’ve killed Saihara and Kirigiri

 

Kotoko: killed???

 

Maki: Metaphorically

 

Kokichi: its so fun tho ( ̄ω ̄)

 

Kotoko: what r those face thingys?

 

Kokichi: (╯✧▽✧)╯

 

Kokichi: i have so much to teach u >:3

 

Maki: This family is crazy

Chapter Text

[Chat: H O P E] 

 

Hajime: i can’t believe it, but we are officially the sanest class now

 

Ibuki: D:

 

Ibuki: HOW????

 

Nagito: We must reclaim our title!

 

Sonia: Does anyone have anything planned?

 

Hajime: before you guys do anything, we do not want a repeat of the aphrodisiac incident @Teruteru 

 

Teruteru: That wasn’t my fault! Blame Mdm. Saionji here

 

Hiyoko: ehehhe

 

Mahiru: I’ll keep an eye on her

 

Hajime: thanks

 

Hajime: i’ll take my leave now, so i can claim plausible deniability

 

Ibuki: ALRIGHT GUYS!!! WE NEED TO PLAN SOMETHING CRAY-ZEE SO THAT WE CAN BE ONE OF THE INSANE CLASSES AGAIN!!!!!!

 

Nagito: Such hope!

 

Akane: whatre we gonna do?



[Chat: BEST CLASS!! ☆*:.。.o(≧▽≦)o.。.:*☆]

 

Shuichi: i- did tanaka-san bring a fucking zoo inside?????

 

Maki: Must be pretty bad if the emo swore

 

Shuichi: look at it!!! there’s an entire ELEPHANT on the field!!!

 

Rantaro: thats interesting

 

Kaede: Im gonna talk with Hinata-senpai

 

Shuichi: please hurry

 

Shuichi: a monkey just stole my hat

 

Kokichi: ( : ౦ ‸ ౦ : )

 

Kokichi: hatless shumai?? must see!!!!

 

Miu: @Maki do you know that toko chick??

 

Maki: No, why would I?

 

Miu: i just thought since ur both like serial killers

 

Maki:

 

-Maki has left the chat-

 

Kaede: Miu, seriously?!

 

Miu: what did i do??

 

Kokichi: fuck u, thats what

 

Kokichi: ill go find her, dont follow us

 

-Kokichi has left the chat-

 

Shuichi: that...wasn’t very nice, iruma-san

 

Miu: what??? it was just a question!

 

Ryoma: I agree with Saihara

 

Ryoma: Harukawa didn’t become a killer by choice, unlike me

 

Kaede: You should apologise

 

Miu: fine...when she decides to come back, that is




[Private message: Kokichi > Maki] 

 

Kokichi: u ok?

 

Maki: Why do you care

 

Kokichi: dont forget i was in the same orphanage as u

 

Maki:

 

Maki: I’m fine

 

Maki: I’m probably making a big deal out of nothing, anyways

 

Kokichi: its not nothing

 

Kokichi: ur feelings matter

 

Maki: Thanks, gremlin

 

Kokichi: this never happened

 

Maki: Sure

 

Maki: I should probably go back to the group chat before the other idiots get worried

 

Kokichi: just realised i left the gc too so i cant add u back :p

 

Maki: I’ll just text Kaede ig

 

Kokichi: sure ur ok?

 

Maki: I will be

 

Maki: Rmb we have a pop quiz later

 

Kokichi: (″ロ゛)

 

Kokichi: OH SHIT

 

Maki: Lol

 

Kokichi: can u lend me ur notes ( ╥ω╥ )

 

Maki: Don’t tell anyone

 

Kokichi: thx makiroll

 

Maki: I told you not to call me that

 

Kokichi: would u prefer i call u onee-chan?

 

Maki: Fuck no

 

Kokichi: too bad then (ノ´ヮ`)ノ*: ・゚

 

Maki: 凸( ̄ヘ ̄)

 

Kokichi: i c i have influenced u :D

 

Maki: Shut up or I won’t lend you my notes

 

Kokichi: ─=≡Σ((( つ><)つ




[Private message: Miu > Maki]

 

Miu: listen up, flat chest

 

Miu: im sorry for earlier

 

Miu: that was shitty of me

 

Maki: It’s fine

 

Maki: I’ve heard worse

 

Miu: eh

 

Miu: still shitty

 

Maki: Whatever

 

Maki: Do I need to remind you about the pop quiz later, too?

 

Miu: F U C K

Chapter Text

[Chat: Welcome to hell]

 

Makoto: id like to know why im the only one whose twitter acc isnt verified

 

Byakuya: It’s because you don’t have an actual talent

 

Makoto: but komaeda-senpai has the same talent as me???

 

Sayaka: No offense, Makoto, but Nagito-senpai has much better luck than u :p

 

Byakuya: Indeed. Not like luck is much of an Ultimate Talent anyways

 

Makoto: ur 1 to talk

 

Makoto: ‘ultimate heir’. what kind of title is that??

 

Makoto: what would u even do to be considered the ultimate heir???? compete with other rich kids to see who can throw the most money in the air?????

 

Makoto: and what do u do in the practical part of the exams???

 

Byakuya:

 

Junko: tell him eggi!!!! XD

 

Kyoko: As amusing as this is, I am curious to know what kind of practicals everyone does 

 

Yasuhiro: i just hace to read a ckrystal ball and tell he examinners what i c ad tehy judge how acdcuteate i am

 

Aoi: taka would die reading that lmao

 

Junko: lmaooo

 

Makoto: is taka not in this chat?

 

Junko: nah

 

Sayaka: Both Taka and Mondo aren’t in the chat, idk why

 

Aoi: i think it was so that a fight would be less likely to break out

 

Aoi: besides, we have another official sch chat with all of us inside

 

Makoto: oic. i always 4get abt the other gc since its pretty inactive

 

Kyoko: Anyways, what do you do for the practical, Naegi?

 

Makoto: komaeda-senpai and i have to test our luck by playing luck-based games and seeing the outcome

 

Makoto: celeste played with us a few times too

 

Celestia: If I recall correctly, Kirigiri-sensei played once, but lost spectacularly and never played again.

 

Junko: wait, really???

 

Makoto: yeah XD

 

Celestia: For me, I travel to underground gambling rings and see how many I can bankrupt in a week

 

Aoi: that sounds dangerous!!

 

Celestia: Oh, it is. However, I have grown up in such places and thus know how to handle myself. You do not need to worry yourself, Asahina dear

 

Kyoko: She says, as if she has never come back completely hungover before

 

Junko: LMAO EXPOSED

 

Celestia: I will not confirm nor deny such claims




[Chat: BEST CLASS!! ☆*:.。.o(≧▽≦)o.。.:*☆]

 

Kokichi: exams r coming ▓▒░(°◡°)░▒▓

 

Maki: What even is that

 

Shuichi: don’t ask

 

Rantaro: kirumi would be reminding us to study about now

 

Kaede: Is Kirumi even in this chat? I never see her

 

Shuichi: she is, she’s just really busy most of the time

 

Maki: Can confirm, she once passed out because she didn’t get enough rest due to her work

 

Rantaro: she needs to get more rest

 

Ryoma: That’s a lost cause, Tried it before

 

Kaede: Maybe we could put together a package for her?

 

Kokichi: that sounds bo-ring ┐( ̄ヘ ̄)┌

 

Shuichi: kokichi…

 

Kokichi: fine, fine. but we still have our exams coming up

 

Miu: never thought the tiny rat bastard would be the one to care about the exams

 

Kokichi: wowww so rude :’(

 

Maki: The gremlin finally has someone who will be proud of him and doesn’t want to disappoint her

 

Kokichi: why would u tell them that??? ↑_(ΦwΦ)Ψ

 

Kaede: Thats...surprisingly wholesome

 

Maki: It’s the truth

 

Kokichi: as if ur not trying to do the same thing

 

Maki:

 

Kaito: you can do it, sidekick! i believe in you!

 

Tenko: tenko believes in you too, harukawa-san!!!!!!!

 

Maki: Thanks?...

 

Kokichi: saihara-chan!! our classmates r bullying meeeeeeeee (╥_╥)

 

Shuichi: i can’t be bothered to deal with this

Chapter Text

[Chat: BEST CLASS!! ☆*:.。.o(≧▽≦)o.。.:*☆]

 

Kaede: Maki, are you ok?

 

Shuichi: yeah, you don’t look too good

 

Maki: I’m fine

 

Maki: Besides, we need to study for the exams

 

Rantaro: u shouldnt overwork urself tho

 

Maki: I said I’m fine

 

Kaede: You clearly arent

 

Maki: Guys stop worrying about me, it’s probably just a small cold or something

 

Rantaro: @Kirumi

 

Rantaro: harukawas sick but is being very stupid about it

 

Maki: I’m not. We need to study

 

Kirumi: Oh dear. Gokuhara-san, please carry Harukawa-san to her room now.

 

Maki: Stop

 

Kirumi: I cannot do that, You are clearly unwell and need rest.

 

Gonta: Gonta wants Harukawa-san to get better!

 

Kaede: Please just rest, Maki

 

Maki:

 

Kokichi: REST (╬ Ò﹏Ó)

 

Maki: Fine. One day

 

Kirumi: I shall bring up some chicken soup for you later.

 

Kaito: i can lend you my notes!

 

Maki: No thanks. I don’t trust your notes

 

Kaede: I can lend you mine?

 

Maki: Thanks

 

Kirumi: Alright then. Are you in your room already?

 

Maki: Yep. Gonta put me on my bed and I don’t have the energy to get up

 

Rantaro: thats not a good sign

 

Maki: I guess

 

Kirumi: Do you want some water?

 

Maki: Gonta already got me some

 

Gonta: Get better soon, Harukawa-san!

 

Kaede: ^^

 

Rantaro: get better soon :)

 

Kokichi: u better recover

 

Miu: LMAO the gremlin being passive-aggressively nice

 

Miu: but hope u feel better ig

 

Miu: keebs says the same

 

Shuichi: hope you recover soon 

 

Maki: Thanks

 

Korekiyo: Kekekeke~

 

Korekiyo: I wish you a speedy recovery, Harukawa




[Chat: red eye girls club]

 

Maki: I will be unable to participate in our weekly scaring session

 

Celestia: Oh? Are you alright?

 

Maki: Just a little sick

 

Celestia: I’m coming over

 

Celestia: Kyoko is with me

 

Maki: Don’t you have class?

 

Celestia: Fuck school

 

Maki: I- ok

 

Peko: Get well soon, Harukawa-san

 

Maki: Thanks




[Private message: Kirumi > Maki]

 

Kirumi: Do you prefer carrots or potatoes in your soup?

 

Maki: Idc, I’m not picky

 

Kirumi: Then would you like me to add both?

 

Maki: Sure

 

Maki: Thanks for doing this btw

 

Kirumi: It is no problem. After all, it’s my duty as the Ultimate Maid to ensure my classmates’ well-being.

 

Maki: Alright

 

Maki: Kyoko and Celestia are in my room rn

 

Maki: So they can open the door for you later

 

Kirumi: I am glad to hear that you are being taken care of.

 

Maki: Mm. They are strangely protective of Kokichi, Kotoko and I

 

Maki: It feels...nice

 

Maki: To know that someone cares about you, I guess

 

Kirumi: That is good.

 

Kirumi: I will be coming up with the soup in about ten minutes.

 

Maki: Ok. Thanks




[Chat: H O P E]

 

Hajime: the 79th class is strangely quiet today

 

Hajime: i’m not sure if i should be relieved that there’s nothing going on or scared that they’re planning something

 

Peko: You do not need to worry

 

Peko: Harukawa-san is sick today and her classmates are too busy worrying about her to cause trouble, at least for today

 

Chiaki: thats good,,,i think

 

Sonia: Please tell her that we hope she recovers soon!

 

Peko: Will do

 

Hajime: it is odd that the 78th class is being quiet too 

 

Peko: Ludenberg-san and Kirigiri-san are busy taking care of Harukawa-san

 

Peko: So I believe you have a reason to worry there

 

Ibuki: YASUHIRO-SAN IS SELLING WEED IN THE HALLWAYS!!!!!!

 

Ibuki: IBUKI HAS ALREADY BOUGHT HERS!!!! DOES ANY OF IBUKI’S CLASSMATES WANT IBUKI TO BUY WEED FOR THEM??

 

Hajime: that’s my cue to leave ✌

 

Sonia: I would like to try this weed!

 

Mahiru: Please dont

 

Ibuki: IBUKI WILL BUY SOME FOR YOU, SONIA-CHAN!!!!

 

Sonia: Thank you!

Chapter Text

[Chat: BEST CLASS!! ☆*:.。.o(≧▽≦)o.。.:*☆]

 

Rantaro: hey mugi

 

Rantaro: out of curiosity, whats ur fav anime?

 

Rantaro: srry, that was meant to be a pm

 

Kaede: Its fine, I wanna know too!!

 

Tsumugi: Really?

 

Kaede: Yeah!!! Maybe I could watch a few after the exams!!

 

Kokichi: no

 

Kokichi: get ur weeb stuff outta here ←~(Ψ▼ー▼)∈

 

Shuichi: kichi be nice

 

Tsumugi: Well, I don’t really have a favorite. There are just so many animes, I can’t choose just one!

 

Gonta: Oh! Gonta feels the same way about his bugs!!

 

Kokichi: gross

 

Maki: Gremlin, I may be sick, but I will chase you down for hurting the one pure student here

 

Kokichi: u cant. Mom 1 and Mom 2 wont let u

 

Maki: You’re right. Guess I’ll just sic Peko-senpai on you

 

Kokichi: shutting up

 

Tsumugi: Anyways, I do have a few animes I highly recommend

 

Tsumugi: If you intend to watch a longer anime with multiple seasons, I would suggest Shingeki no Kyojin or Boku no Hero Academia

 

Tsumugi: Personally, I prefer Shingeki no Kyojin as it sticks more closely to the original plot, and the characters are great

 

Tsumugi: But Boku no Hero Academia has its own charm, and I really enjoy the villains in it

 

Kaede: The villains?

 

Tsumugi: Yes! The villains have such creative backstories that make the audience empathise with them more. My favorite character in the anime is actually Toga Himiko, who is a villain with shapeshifting powers

 

Rantaro: sounds interesting

 

Rantaro: maybe ill try it during the sch hols

 

Tsumugi: You should!

 

Tsumugi: And if you want a shorter anime, I’d recommend Ansatsu Kyoushitsu, Kimetsu no Yaiba and Kiznaiver. All of them have amazing art styles and plots which I liked

 

Kaede: They must be really good if you liked them that much

 

Rantaro: do u have any animes that u hate?

 

Tsumugi: Hate is a rather strong word, I feel

 

Tsumugi: Every anime has at least one aspect that I enjoyed

 

Kaede: But were there any that you disliked?

 

Tsumugi: Well, I didn’t really like the plot for Enen no Shouboutai. The pacing is a little rushed, too

 

Tsumugi: But the animation and general idea of the anime was pretty cool

 

Angie: Oh? Angie heard you discussing art and wanted to participate!

 

Kaede: We were talking about some animes Tsumugi recommended

 

Tsumugi: For Yonaga-chan, I think you would enjoy a short, yet deep anime like Kiznaiver. The animation in it might also appeal to your inner artist!

 

Angie: Atua thanks you for your thoughtfulness! Angie will be sure to try it!~ :3

 

Rantaro: maybe we could arrange an anime watching session after the exams?

 

Kaede: That sounds fun! What does everyone think? @Everyone

 

Gonta: Gonta just wants to have fun with friends! Gonta thinks it sounds like good bonding experience

 

Kokichi: not unless my beloved shumai goes too~ (´ ε ` )♡

 

Shuichi: sure

 

Kokichi: yay! we can cuddle under a blanket together!! (♡°▽°♡)

 

Korekiyo: This will be an excellent opportunity to observe human behavior, kekeke.

 

Kaito: stop talking like you aren’t human too!

 

Kaito: and i think it’s a great idea to get closer with each other!

 

Ryoma: I don’t care

 

Himiko: nyeh,,,i might fall asleep watching though,,,

 

Kaede: That’s fine! Whatever you’re comfortable with!!

 

Himiko: i guess i’ll show up,,,

 

Tenko: i will go to protect yumeno-san from any degenerate males!!!

 

Miu: fucking called it

 

Miu: i suppose i shall grace you all with my wondrous presence

 

Kokichi: lol, funny joke

 

K1-B0: I do not mind going.

 

Kirumi: I can prepare the snacks.

 

Maki: Whatever

 

Maki: Make sure to study for the exams first though

 

Kaede: Ofc!!

 

Kaede: Its decided then!!!!

 

Tsumugi: Ahhh! I’m so pleased you all will be introduced to the wonders of anime culture!!!

 

Kokichi: stupid weeb

 

Rantaro: were all japanese tho??

 

Kokichi: dont give a fuck

 

Maki: Wheels on the bus

 

Kaede: You listen to Melanie Martinez? :0

 

Maki: Sometimes

 

Rantaro: every time maki does things like this, i fall off my chair laughing

 

Maki: Do you wanna die

 

Rantaro: not particularly

 

Maki: I hope you break your tailbone falling off the chair

 

Kaede: Maki please

 

Kokichi: THATS MY SISTER!!!!! ╰(*´︶`*)╯

Chapter Text

[Chat: BEST CLASS!! ☆*:.。.o(≧▽≦)o.。.:*☆]

 

Kaede: Hey Maki, still sick?

 

Maki: Unfortunately

 

Kirumi: I suggest you see Tsumiki-san, or an actual doctor.

 

Maki: Yeah ok

 

Maki: I feel pretty bad

 

Kaede: Didnt even put up a fight? Wow, you must be really sick

 

Maki: Don’t remind me

 

Maki: I had trouble just going to the bathroom by myself

 

Kirumi: Do you require food or water?

 

Maki: I don’t think I can eat

 

Rantaro: ill get tsumiki

 

Gonta: Does Harukawa-san need any help?

 

Kirumi: She has a fever, an ice pack may help.

 

Gonta: Gonta will get one!

 

Kaede: Oh fuck

 

Shuichi: what happened?

 

Kokichi: makiroll just threw up

 

Kaede: How do you know?

 

Kokichi: im sitting in the vents, keeping an eye on my dear sister ofc ( ´ ∀ `)ノ~ ♡

 

Kirumi: If you are free, please get Harukawa-san a glass of water.

 

Kokichi: k

 

Rantaro: im coming back with tsumiki

 

Kaede: Thank god

 

Angie: *Atua

 

Kaede: Not the time




[Chat: H O P E]

 

Chiaki: wheres mikan?

 

Nagito: Amami-kun came and took her away to see his sick classmate. The care he displays for her...so full of hope!

 

Hiyoko: shut up, basket-case

 

Hajime: ah, is it harukawa-san? peko said that she was unwell

 

Sonia: I should think so, unless someone else caught it from Harukawa-chan

 

Mikan: ssssorryy iii’m laaate

 

Hajime: it’s fine, you were helping someone

 

Peko: How is Harukawa-san?

 

Mikan: shhhee’ll bbe finnne

 

Mikan: iiit wwwass juuust a stttomaach bbbug

 

Chiaki: good to know

 

Ibuki: IBUKI IS VERY PROUD OF MIKAN-CHAN!!!

 

Ibuki: MIKAN-CHAN IS VERY SMART!!! AND HELPFUL!!

 

Mikan: thaaankks




[Private message: Komaru > Celestia]

 

Komaru: thx for agreeing to take care of the kids :)

 

Celestia: It is no problem. After all, they are friends with my daughter

 

Komaru: how is harukawa-senpai?

 

Celestia: Still unwell, but her classmates are doing a decent job looking after her

 

Komaru: thats good :D

 

Komaru: class spirit!

 

Celestia: Mm

 

Komaru: anyways, gotta get ready for my date with toki!!

 

Celestia: Fukawa-san likes strawberry lip gloss

 

Komaru: 😅

 

Komaru: thx for the tip

 

Celestia: Enjoy your date




[Chat: Welcome to hell]

 

Celestia: I am bringing five kids over to the dorms, including Kotoko

 

Makoto: y????

 

Celestia: Your sister is out on a date and left the safety of the children to me

 

Makoto: o right she looks after them

 

Makoto: wait, a DATE???

 

Celestia: Indeed

 

Celestia: Anyways, please be nice to these kids, they, like Kotoko, have a history of trauma and have similar emotional triggers

 

Aoi: can do!

 

Aoi: i bought donuts for them!

 

Celestia: I am leaving them with you for a moment while I feed my cat. I trust that you will not do anything too stupid

 

Sayaka: You can trust us!

 

Leon: no she cant

 

Aoi: um...help?

 

Celestia: I have not even been gone for a minute

 

Aoi: i’m sorry!!

 

Aoi: i gave them the donuts and they started going crazy!!!

 

Aoi: Jataro, Masaru and Kotoko are running through the kitchen screaming

 

Celestia: What about the other two?

 

Aoi: uhh

 

Aoi: Nagisa is sitting in the common room watching a nature documentary

 

Sayaka: Thats unexpected

 

Aoi: and Monaca is sitting at the kitchen doorway giggling

 

Aoi: she just turned around and whispered ‘despair’ in the creepiest voice imaginable

 

Aoi: i’m scared

 

Junko: celestia get the adoption papers!!!! im adopting this child :DDDD

 

Celestia: After we clean up this mess

 

Leon: sayaka-chan, we have to adopt masaru

 

Sayaka: Why?

 

Leon: look at him!! he literally looks like our secret lovechild!!!!

 

Sayaka: Never say that again

 

Sayaka: But ok

 

Kyoko: Celeste, we’re adopting Nagisa

 

Aoi: two juniors from the 79th class came in and joined the kids

 

Aoi: and now one of them wants to adopt Jataro

 

Celestia: I should have seen this coming. Who are the juniors?

 

Aoi: Ouma and Yonaga. Yonaga wants to adopt Jataro

 

Celestia: Don’t destroy the dorms while I procure the adoption papers




[Private message: Komaru > Celestia]

 

Komaru: how were they?

 

Celestia: Certainly very odd and in need of therapy, but nice children

 

Celestia: Also, they all managed to be adopted

 

Komaru: ????

 

Celestia: Enoshima took Monaca because, and I quote, “DESPAIR”. Kuwata and Maizono took Masaru since he apparently “looks like their secret lovechild”. Yonaga from the 79th class took Jataro because they’re “both quirky artists”. And Kyoko convinced me that we needed to adopt Nagisa

 

Komaru: im not sure if im happy for them or just rlly confused

 

Celestia: Adoption papers have already been signed

 

Komaru: ill deal with this tmr

 

Komaru: but thx for looking after them

 

Celestia: Oh, your brother is probably hunting for you since you apparently did not tell him you were dating Fukawa-san

 

Komaru: o shit

 

Komaru: 💨💨💨

Chapter Text

[Private message: Mikan > Rantaro]

 

Mikan: ummm

 

Rantaro: what is it, tsumiki-san?

 

Mikan: i dddddid aa revvvalllluaaationn ooof hhharrukaaawa-sann’ssss sickkkkneess annnd itt maay bbbee moreeee serriousss thaaannn a stooomacch bugg

 

Mikan: iiii thhinkkkk sheee mayy haave an inntestinaaal disseaaseee

 

Mikan: sheee needdds tto go tooo thhe hossspitaal immmmeddiatelly

 

Rantaro: thx for letting me know, ill call an ambulance asap

 

Mikan: iiiii’m sorrrryy i diddn’tt dddddo a goooodd jobb

 

Rantaro: u did the best u could, dont apologise




[Chat: BEST CLASS!! ☆*:.。.o(≧▽≦)o.。.:*☆]

 

Rantaro: bad news

 

Rantaro: tsumiki said that harukawas illness is actually an intestinal disease

 

Rantaro: the ambulance is otw

 

Kaede: Fuck

 

Kirumi: Oh dear.

 

Gonta: Harukawa-san is asleep! Should Gonta wake her up?

 

Rantaro: no, let her sleep

 

Kaede: Fuck fuck fuck

 

Kaede: What should we do?

 

Rantaro: wait until the ambulance gets here. 

 

Kirumi: Perhaps a few of us can direct the paramedics to Harukawa-san’s dorm room?

 

Rantaro: good idea

 

Shuichi: i can do that

 

Ryoma: I’ll help

 

Kirumi: Chabashira-san, could you make sure none of the other students come over to our dorms?

 

Tenko: of course!!!!

 

Shuichi: the ambulance just arrived. we’re sending them up now

 

Kirumi: Noted.

 

Kokichi: makirolls gonna be ok, right?

 

Kirumi: Hopefully.

 

Kokichi: i

 

Kokichi: ill be in my room





[Chat: BEST CLASS!! ☆*:.。.o(≧▽≦)o.。.:*☆]

 

Rantaro: hows maki?

 

Kirumi: Luckily, she was able to get treatment immediately so she’s fine. However, she needs to stay in the hospital for at least 3 days for the doctors to keep an eye on her.

 

Kirumi: Hold on, I’ll give her her phone back

 

Maki: Hey

 

Kaede: Maki!!!

 

Shuichi: glad to see you’re ok

 

Maki: I feel better already but the doctors won’t let me return to the dorms

 

Rantaro: its just in case ur condition gets worse, right?

 

Maki: Yeah ig. The hospital’s boring though

 

Maki: Hold on

 

Kaede: ????

 

Maki: Ok I’m back. The gremlin climbed the side of the building and came in through the window

 

Shuichi: kokichi???

 

Kaede: Howd you do that?!?!

 

Kokichi: practice ヽ(*・ω・)ノ

 

Rantaro: ig those two rlly r closer than they seem

 

Maki: Die

 

Kokichi: celes and kyoko would have come too, but they needed to take care of koko and nagi

 

Maki: They both sent me at least 50 texts each though

 

Maki: Kotoko and Nagisa sent a few too

 

Miu: guess the dysfunctional family isnt that dysfunctional after all :p

 

Kaede: Thats really sweet!

 

Maki: Yeah




[Chat: Welcome to hell]

 

Celestia: Maki is in the hospital, so each and every single one of you is going to sign this get-well-soon card for her

 

Makoto: sure?? but whys she in the hospital????

 

Celestia: Intestinal disease

 

Celestia: Now shut up and sign this

 

Sayaka: Yes, maam!!




[Chat: H O P E]

 

-Peko has added Celestia into the chat-

 

Celestia: You are all going to come down to the common room to sign this get-well-soon card for Maki or I’ll hunt you down and stuff wasabi up your nose

 

Hajime: creative threat

 

Celestia: I try




[Chat: BEST CLASS!! ☆*:.。.o(≧▽≦)o.。.:*☆]

 

Maki: Celestia just dropped by to give me a card with every single student’s signature saying ‘get well soon’

 

Kaede: Awwww

 

Maki: I want to ask but I’m also too scared to

 

Miu: hah? is the goth bitch that scary?

 

Kokichi: yes

 

Maki: Yes

 

Rantaro: i mean, shes a professional gambler who has bet her life on a game and bankrupts people for a living

 

Rantaro: id say yes

 

Kaede: When she looks at me I want to apologise even when I havent done anything

 

Shuichi: i saw her having a game of russian roulette with komaeda-senpai

 

Ryoma: She’s gotten at least two people expelled before

 

Miu: point taken

Chapter Text

[Chat: BEST CLASS!! ☆*:.。.o(≧▽≦)o.。.:*☆]

 

Ryoma: Akamatsu

 

Ryoma: You might want to stop our classmates from murdering this poor individual

 

Kaede: What did they do?

 

Ryoma: He saw Saihara and Ouma walking together and made some homophobic comments

 

Kaede: Guess who’s going down to beat up a motherfucker

 

Ryoma: I tried

 

Kirumi: Please do not get yourselves arrested. I do not have enough money to bail all of you out of jail.

 

Rantaro: lol

 

Maki: Wish I was there

 

Rantaro: want a description of whats happening?

 

Maki: Please

 

Rantaro: aight so kokichi just kicked the guys crotch

 

Rantaro: shuichi punched him in the face - wow, hes surprisingly strong- and the guys nose started bleeding

 

Maki: Nice

 

Rantaro: kaede showed up

 

Rantaro: oh wow she just stomped the guy into the ground

 

Rantaro: and celestia is here for some reason too??? shes busy stuffing the guys nostrils with wasabi and kokichis helping her

 

Rantaro: they pinched the guys nose with a clip, got chabashira to carry him to the lake (she was not gentle) and threw him in

 

Rantaro: celestia informed me that fujisaki has edited all the camera footage and kyoko hid all the evidence so they wont be caught

 

Rantaro: so u dont have to worry, kirumi

 

Kirumi: Good to know.

 

Maki: I feel extra bored now

 

Kokichi: not for much longer (*≧ω≦*)

 

Maki: What is that supposed to mean?

 

Kokichi: 10mins

 

Maki: ...What?

 

Kokichi: ull c („• ᴗ •„)




[Chat: BEST CLASS!! ☆*:.。.o(≧▽≦)o.。.:*☆]

 

Maki: Guess what, fuckers

 

Maki: I have a cat now

 

Maki: pictureofmakiscat.png

 

[Description: 3 month old kitten, female, Green-eyed, orange tabby with cream paws and chest. The pinkest of toe beans]

 

Kaede: So Kokichis surprise was a cat?

 

Kokichi: technically its from celestia, she just asked me to deliver it

 

Maki: Her name is Hayami

 

Tsumugi: :00000

 

Tsumugi: IS THAT AN ANIME REFERENCE??????

 

Maki: Yeah. I liked that one

 

Tsumugi: YASSSSSSSSSS

 

Kokichi: no. i did not come all the way to the hospital to deliver this cat, just to have u name it after a fucking anime character

 

Maki: Hey

 

Maki: I’m the one in the hospital

 

Maki: So I do what I want, bitch

 

Himiko: cute cat

 

Maki: Thanks

 

Gonta: Gonta thinks Harukawa-san’s cat looks like tiny tiger!

 

Kaede: Thats a cute description

 

Maki: Yes, she’s an intimidating, murderous fluffball of adorableness

 

Rantaro: i didnt know u like cats

 

Maki: Our orphanage used to have a stray cat that hung around for food scraps

 

Kokichi: that little fucker scratched me

 

Maki: I did warn you not to pet it

 

Kokichi: (¬_¬)

 

Maki: Anyway what happened to that guy you beat up

 

Kokichi: idk

 

Shuichi: maybe he died

 

Tenko: hopefully

Chapter Text

[Chat: BEST CLASS!! ☆*:.。.o(≧▽≦)o.。.:*☆]

 

Maki: Coming back to the dorms with my cat today

 

Kokichi: didnt miss u

 

Maki: Liar

 

Kokichi: nishishishi~ ( ̄ω ̄)

 

Kaede: Welcome back!! :D

 

Maki: Still not fully recovered, so I get to skip my practical since it has a lot of physical activity

 

Kokichi: lucky (╥﹏╥)

 

Maki: You get an intestinal disease then

 

Shuichi: glad you’re better, harukawa-san

 

Kirumi: Reminder that exams start in two days.

 

Maki: Fuck

 

Maki: Need to study

 

Kaede: I can help you!

 

Kaito: so can i!

 

Maki: I’ll accept Akamatsu’s help

 

Kaito: :(

 

Kokichi: ferrets to brighten ur day 

 

Kokichi: threeferretswearingtinysweaters.png  

 

Tsumugi: Ahhhh! So kawaii!!

 

Kokichi: weeb

 

Rantaro: were all japanese

 

Kokichi: shh („• ᴗ •„)

 

Kaede: Are those yours?

 

Kokichi: yep! their names r grape, panta and ‘bitch why’

 

Kokichi: i got grape and panta first

 

Rantaro: couldnt tell

 

Gonta: Oh! Are friends showing off pets?

 

Kokichi: ig ┐(シ)┌

 

Gonta: Gonta have bug friends! 

 

Gonta: severalterrariumsfilledwithbugs.png

 

Maki: That’s very nice 

 

Tsumugi: I have a dog at home

 

Ryoma: I have at least 5 cats

 

Ryoma: And a goldfish that they keep trying to eat

 

Maki: I can empathize with that goldfish

 

Kaede: Thats depressing




[Chat: H O P E]

 

Chiaki: the 79th class seem very excited today,,,

 

Peko: Harukawa-san just got back from the hospital

 

Chiaki: oh ok

 

Akane: i cant get math!!

 

Chiaki: i can help u if u want

 

Akane: pls

 

Chiaki: anyone who needs help, come to the library in 30 mins

 

Sonia: I require some assistance in Japanese

 

Gundham: I would be glad to assist you 

 

Sonia: Oh, thank you

 

Hiyoko: simp

 

Akane: nah, thats souda

 

Hiyoko: @Souda ur a fucking simp

 

Souda: ehhh?? y am i being attacked suddenly???

 

Akane: cause ur a simp

 

Hajime: that logic seems a little flawed

 

Chiaki: rmb all the times he gushed to u about sonias hair

 

Hajime: you right

 

Hajime: carry on

 

Souda: no! my soul brother has abandoned me!! :’(

 

Hiyoko: lol




[Chat: Welcome to hell]

 

Sayaka: LOOK AT MY GF

 

Sayaka: mukuroeatingicecream.png

 

Sayaka: SHES SO FUCKING PRETTY

 

Leon: ur dating ikusaba??? since when???

 

Celestia: Since 5 months ago

 

Sayaka: What she said ^^

 

Leon: but-

 

Leon: what about our kid?

 

Leon: does he mean nothing to u?

 

Sayaka: Do we need to be dating to raise a kid together?

 

Makoto: i mean that is typically the norm

 

Sayaka: Fuck the norm

 

Sayaka: Cant we just be a couple of besties who happen to be raising a child together?

 

Leon: i guess...

 

Sayaka: Great! :)

 

Junko: LMAO sayaka the slayer XDDDD

 

Mukuro: I love her <3

 

Sayaka: Awww, I love you too Muku <3333

Chapter Text

[Chat: BEST CLASS!! ☆*:.。.o(≧▽≦)o.。.:*☆]

 

Kokichi: exams r over!!!!! °˖✧◝(⁰▿⁰)◜✧˖°

 

Maki: Yay

 

Kaede: What did you guys do for your practicals? I had 10 minutes to learn and play an improvised version of a piano piece

 

Rantaro: that sounds difficult

 

Kaede: It was! But I thought it went well :)

 

Shuichi: i had an hour to solve a fake case about a murder. classic, really

 

Korekiyo: Kekekeke~

 

Korekiyo: I was required to write a twenty page essay about how ancient culture has impacted modern society. It was most fascinating

 

Kaede: Thats cool

 

Kokichi: i… *drumroll noises* recruited the warriors of hope into dice!!

 

Shuichi: kichi, that’s not funny

 

Rantaro: what did u actually do?

 

Kokichi: wahhhhh! y dont u believe me??? (。T ω T。)

 

Kaede: Because theres no way the teachers let you do that for your practical

 

Maki:

 

Maki: Gremlin, we need to talk

 

Kokichi: oh no im scared 〣( ºΔº )〣




[Private message: Maki > Kokichi]

 

Maki: I have the feeling that you’re not lying about recruiting the WOH

 

Kokichi: woww, how ever did u find out?

 

Maki: As much as it pains me, I am technically your sister now, and I’ve spent enough time around you to know

 

Maki: And somehow Saihara didn’t figure it out

 

Kokichi: ur right!!!! i wasnt lying ヽ(・∀・)ノ

 

Maki: Let me get this straight

 

Kokichi: neither u or i r straight

 

Maki: Shut up

 

Maki: You recruited a bunch of ten-year olds, including our two siblings, into your ‘evil secret organisation’??

 

Kokichi: yep yep!!!

 

Kokichi: playing environmentally friendly pranks since 1964 <( ̄︶ ̄)>

 

Maki: That's a lie

 

Kokichi: yes :DDDDD

 

Kokichi: its since the year 2010

 

Maki: Don’t put them in danger

 

Kokichi: wow, im so hurt u would doubt me (╥﹏╥)

 

Maki:

 

Maki: And don’t put yourself in danger either, idiot

 

Kokichi: (°◡°♡)




[Chat: BEST CLASS!! ☆*:.。.o(≧▽≦)o.。.:*☆]

 

Kaede: There are animals running around the dorm

 

Kokichi: so perceptive, kayayday!!!

 

Shuichi: kokichi, did you do this

 

Kokichi: no

 

Maki: More lies

 

Kokichi: u got me (o^▽^o)

 

Gonta: Gonta’s bug friends gone! D: 

 

Kokichi: dw, i left them in their little glass cages so they wont run off or be squished

 

Kokichi: theyre on the table in the middle of the common room

 

Maki: Gremlin

 

Maki: Where the fuck is Hayami

 

Kokichi: prob the kitchen

 

Kirumi: Oh, is this cat yours?

 

Kirumi: hayamithecatsittingwithkirumi.png

 

Maki: Yeah. You like cats?

 

Kirumi: I  am quite fond of them. One of my previous clients had a cat. 

 

Kaede: WHOSE SNAKE IS THIS?????

 

Korekiyo: Ah, that would be mine

 

Kaede: YOUR SNAKE IS SITTING IN FRONT OF THE STAIRS AND IM SCARED TO GO UP

 

Korekiyo: I will go retrieve her

 

Shuichi: there’s a goldfish in my room

 

Shuichi: why is there a goldfish in my room

 

Ryoma: Thanks for finding him

 

Shuichi: do you want me to bring it to your room?

 

Ryoma: Yes please. I’m trying to get a cat out from under my bed

 

Ryoma: Wait nevermind it’s not a cat

 

Kaede: What is it?

 

Ryoma: White tiger cub

 

Kaede: THE FUCK???

 

Himiko: thats mine

 

Kaede: WHY DO YOU HAVE A TIGER??

 

Himiko: shes my familiar,,,nyeh

 

Himiko: i have a bird too, but i left her with my mama

 

Ryoma: Your tiger is soft. She reminds me of my five cats

 

Angie: There are ferrets in Angie’s room!

 

Angie: Atua is truly wonderful~

 

Kokichi: fuck no, bitch

 

Kokichi: those ferrets mine

 

Shuichi: any other pets we need to know about?

 

Tenko: tenko has two rabbits!

 

Kaito: i found them!

 

Kaito: ow!!!

 

Kaede: You ok?

 

Kaito: the rabbit just kicked me in the face!

 

Tenko: tenko’s rabbits do not like males. tenko has been teaching them to fight!!

 

Kaede: So its ok for me to pick them up?

 

Tenko: that should be fine

 

Kaede: Got one of them. Maki, could you help get the other?

 

Maki: Alright

 

Maki: So that’s all the animals, right?

 

Rantaro: i have a tortoise, but i found her in the garden earlier

 

Kirumi: Then I believe so. Speaking of which, I still have your cat, Harukawa-san.

 

Maki: Thanks

 

Maki: Gremlin, why the fuck is my room filled with plushies

 

Kokichi: just wanted to get my favorite sister a present! ٩(◕‿◕。)۶

 

Maki: I hate you

 

Kokichi: no u dont

 

Kirumi: Do you require assistance cleaning up?

 

Maki: Only if you’re not busy

 

Kirumi: I have nothing to do presently. Besides, you are still recovering. 

 

Maki: K. Thanks

Chapter Text

[Chat: BEST CLASS!! ☆*:.。.o(≧▽≦)o.。.:*☆]

 

Miu: feast ur eyes on this baby!

 

Miu: weirdgunlookingthing.png

 

Kokichi: wtf is that, bitch

 

Miu: its an inter-dimensional transportation gun!

 

Miu: one zap of this baby, and boom! ur in a different dimension

 

Maki: Multiverses don’t exist

 

Miu: oh yeah? y dont u try it then?

 

Maki: No thanks

 

Kaede: Miu, if it does work, please dont use it on our classmates

 

Miu: wdym if it works?!?! its completely 100% functional!

 

K1-B0: I’m sure they believe you, Miu. However, their skepticism is not entirely unfounded, since nothing has been done to prove that the multiverse theory is real.

 

Miu: then i guess ill just be the first!

 

Maki: Sure

 

Maki: Forgot to mention earlier, but Celestia, Kyoko and I are part of an exchange student program in France

 

Kokichi: u guys r going w/o me??? o(TヘTo)

 

Maki: Do you know how to speak French?

 

Kokichi: ...no

 

Kaede: When are you leaving?

 

Maki: It’s in two weeks, for about 3 days

 

Shuichi: that sounds fun

 

Maki: We’ll see

 

Maki: In the meantime

 

Maki: Gremlin, you better take care of Kotoko and Nagisa

 

Kokichi: what kind of big bro do u think i am? im so hurt

 

Rantaro: dw, ill help him if things get too bad

 

Maki: Thanks

 

Kokichi: rude




[Private message: Maki > Kokichi]

 

Maki: Alright, spill

 

Maki: You’re acting weird and I want to know why

 

Kokichi: wdym? im perfectly a-ok!

 

Maki: That’s a lie

 

Kokichi:

 

Maki: Sigh

 

Maki: Look, gremlin, you’re my little brother now, whether you like it or not. Just tell me, I promise I won’t judge

 

Kokichi: its stupid

 

Maki: It’s not stupid if it’s affecting you this much

 

Kokichi: lol

 

Kokichi: i rmb having this same conversation b4

 

Kokichi: when miu was being a bitch 

 

Maki: Gremlin

 

Kokichi: i just

 

Kokichi: idk im scared that ur all going to abandon me and going for an overseas exchange program is just an excuse for u to leave me behind

 

Kokichi: that sounds rlly stupid lmao

 

Maki: Kokichi.

Maki: None of us are going to abandon you

 

Maki: I said it already, didn’t I? You’re my little brother, whether you like it or not

 

Maki: And I don’t intend on leaving any of my siblings

 

Kokichi: thx

 

Maki: Now take care of Koko and Nagi while we’re gona, k?

 

Kokichi: ill have u know that i am an extremely responsible older sibling ( ̄ヘ ̄)

 

Kokichi: after all, im the ultimate supreme leader! what kind of leader would i be if i didnt take care of my underlings??

 

Maki: Alright, I trust you then

 

Kokichi: u do?

 

Maki: Hmm?

 

Kokichi: u trust me?

 

Maki: I guess

 

Maki: I mean I trust you not to kill our two siblings in the 3 days we’re gone

 

Kokichi: how do u know im not lying?

 

Maki: Listen

 

Maki: Ik you lie and joke around a lot, but I trust you to be able to take things seriously if you need to

 

Maki: So yes, I do trust you

 

Kokichi: <3

 

Maki: I don’t trust you not to play stupid pranks on me though

 

Kokichi: understandable, i wouldnt trust myself about that either




[Chat: Welcome to hell]

 

Kyoko: Maki, Celes and I will be gone for 3 days due to a foreign exchange program

 

Kyoko: We will leave next week

 

Aoi: that’s so cool! I wish i could go too :p

 

Makoto: is any1 else going w/ u?

 

Celestia: I believe the school council was intending to send Nevermind-senpai in place of Kyoko, but she declined

 

Sayaka: So its just the three of you?

 

Kyoko: Yes

 

Celestia: This means that Kokichi is in charge of taking care of Kotoko and Nagisa. Please offer your assistance if needed

 

Aoi: ofc! sakura-chan and i will def help :)

 

Sakura: Indeed

 

Kyoko: Don’t give them donuts again

 

Aoi: it was one time

 

Celestia: One time too many

 

Celestia: So if anything happens, you guys have to clean it up

 

Sayaka: Guess that means no glitter parade pt. 2

 

Celestia: I am willing to look past that one

 

Sayaka: MUKU GET THE GLITTER

 

Mukuro: K. Which colours?

 

Sayaka: A L L OF THEM

 

Mukuro: Hey sis, can I use your credit card

 

Junko: sure, sure, just give me that sweet chaos

 

Makoto: harukawa just handed me a poster abt ace awareness and walked off

 

Celestia: I’m so fucking proud of her

 

Celestia: Kokichi too

Chapter Text

[Chat: Welcome to hell]

 

Sayaka: Celeste, class has already started. Where are you?

 

Makoto: celeste, ur alr late

 

Aoi: are you sick???

 

Sayaka: Shes apparently read all the messages

 

Leon: so shes just ghosting us?

 

Makoto: celeste, this isnt funny. where r u??

 

Sayaka: Yeah, were worried

 

Aoi: @Kyoko do you know where she is?

 

Kyoko: No

 

Leon: do u think we should go to her dorm room?

 

Sayaka: Even if she is there, I dont think shell appreciate us barging in

 

Leon: u rite

 

Sayaka: Im sure shell respond eventually

 

Mukuro: Unless she got into an accident

 

Junko: wow, sis, dont be a party pooper

 

Aoi: but if she’s read the messages, that means she’s fine, right?

 

Sayaka: I hope so




[Private message: Sayaka > Celestia]

 

Sayaka: Celestia, are you ok????




[Private message: Leon > Celestia]

 

Leon: dude, where r u?




[Private message: Kiyotaka > Celestia]

 

Kiyotaka: Celestia, it is unbecoming of a student to be tardy! Please turn up soon!

 

Kiyotaka: Are you alright? I will gladly offer my assistance!




[Private message: Makoto > Celestia]

 

Makoto: idk y ur ghosting us, but if u need to talk u can always talk to us




[Private message: Kyoko > Celestia]

 

Kyoko: Are you alright? Our classmates are getting worried about you

 

Kyoko: Celestia, I know you’re reading this

 

Kyoko: Are you having an identity crisis again?

 

-Kyoko deleted one message-

 

Kyoko: Sorry, that was insensitive

 

Kyoko: Do you want me to come over? 

 

Celestia: Yes please

 

Kyoko: Coming over now




[Chat: Welcome to hell]

 

Makoto: now kyoko disappeared 2???

 

Kyoko: Celeste is in her dorm room

 

Kyoko: Don’t worry about us

 

Junko: OwO???

 

Mukuro: Ignore her

 

Junko: huh??? arent u curious??

 

Sayaka: Prying into their personal lives is just rude, Junko

 

Kyoko: We won’t be in class today

 

Makoto: k, should i tell the teacher?

 

Kyoko: No

 

Kyoko: But thanks




[Chat: BEST CLASS!! ☆*:.。.o(≧▽≦)o.。.:*☆]

 

Kaito: hey maki-roll, where are u?

 

Maki: Chilling with my bestie :p

 

Maki: And don't call me that

 

Maki: makiandkaedehangingout.png

 

Kokichi: i thought...i was ur bestie (。T ω T。)

 

Maki: No, you’re just my annoying little brother

 

Shuichi: akamatsu-san?

 

Kaede: Maki is my girl best friend!! Dw, Shuichi, youre my no. 1 ultimate bestie :)

 

Kokichi: hissss

 

Maki: Did you just hiss?

 

Kokichi: hands off shumai!! (っ•﹏•)っ ✴==≡눈٩(`皿´҂)ง

 

Shuichi: kokichi…

 

Miu: overprotective bf or what ;-;

 

Kokichi: shut up, slut

 

Maki: Kokichi, no

 

Kokichi:

 

Kaede: Im not trying to steal him from you

 

Shuichi: and i’m not going to leave you for akamatsu-san

 

Kaede: I dont even like him that way!

 

Kokichi: fine then

 

Kokichi: why tf is my room filled with balloons

 

Maki: Just a gift for you >:)

 

Kokichi: fuck u

 

Shuichi: ...are you crying?

 

Kokichi: no

 

Kaede: Awww, thats so sweet

 

Maki: I mean, I just meant it as a prank, but the gremlin seems very happy 




[Private message: Kokichi > Maki]

 

Kokichi: I LOVE U

 

Kokichi: THIS IS THE NICEST THING ANYONES EVER DONE FOR ME

 

Maki: I can’t tell if you’re being serious

 

Kokichi: I AM

 

Kokichi: balloons were hard to get on the streets

 

Maki: Oh

 

Maki: Well, you’re welcome

 

Maki: I can help you clean up if you want

 

Kokichi: NO IM KEEPING THEM 4EVER

 

Maki: They’ll deflate

 

Kokichi: ILL PRESERVE THEM IN RESIN

 

Maki: Do what you like ig



[Chat: Welcome to hell]

 

Sayaka: Is everything ok with Celestia?

 

Kyoko: Not really, but it’s getting better

 

Aoi: what happened anyways?

 

Kyoko: I don’t know if Celeste is comfortable with sharing

 

Kyoko: I’ll ask her first

 

Kyoko: She says no, but thank you for your concern

 

Aoi: that’s fine! hope the problem is solved soon :)

 

Kyoko: She says thank you again

 

Makoto: do u need ur lunch delivered to the dorm room?

 

Kyoko: You can just leave it outside

 

Makoto: got it

Chapter Text

[Chat: Unnamed chat]

 

-Sayaka created a new chat-

 

-Sayaka added Mukuro, Celestia and 5 others-

 

-Sayaka changed the chat name to ‘These kids need therapy’

 

Sayaka: Hello!

 

Maki: What is this

 

Kokichi: owo?? new gc???

 

Sayaka: I added all the people I could think of who probably need therapy but dont want to get it

 

Mukuro: If this is about me going to see the guidance counselor again

 

Sayaka: I just thought it might be better if you guys talked about it with other people your age

 

Sayaka: No judgement here, people >:(

 

Maki: Do we need to share our life stories

 

Sayaka: Not unless you want to!

 

Sayaka: I also got Chihiro to lock this chat so you can’t leave

 

Celestia: I don’t think this is necessary

 

Kyoko: Why am I here?

 

Sayaka: Because yall have I S S U E S

 

Kokichi: no

 

Kokichi: let me leave

 

Sayaka: No. Now Im going to ask a question and you need to answer

 

Peko: I’m assuming you are not going to stop bothering us about it if we don’t?

 

Sayaka: Yep! Q1. What is the issue you are trying to overcome?

 

Maki: Sigh

 

Sayaka: Please just try

 

Maki: Fine. I’m still afraid the organization will come after me, kill everyone I care about, and force me to become an assassin again

 

Sayaka: Very good! Next?

 

Kyoko: My father’s bad parenting and the stress my grandfather puts on me as a detective

 

Celestia: ...Identity crisis

 

Mukuro: PTSD from the military 

 

Peko: The whole ‘I am just a tool’ mentality instilled on me since young 

 

Sayaka: That’s a lot more than I expected

 

Sayaka: But its fine! Its great that you guys can talk about your different problems!

 

Sayaka: Ouma-kun?

 

Kokichi: abandonment issues ig

 

Sayaka: Great! Now were going to work with these, and help you to get over them eventually. Sounds good?

 

Kyoko: Sure

 

Maki: Whatever

 

Sayaka: Every Wednesday at 5, were gonna have these sessions. I’ll ask you one question and you can respond however you like. And remember, what is said in this chat, stays in this chat

 

Peko: Alright




[Chat: BEST CLASS!! ☆*:.。.o(≧▽≦)o.。.:*☆]

 

Kokichi: i made a cake!! (^▽^)

 

Maki: Is it even edible?

 

Kokichi: wow, rude

 

Shuichi: what’s it for?

 

Kokichi: no reason

 

Maki: That sounds highly suspicious

 

Kaede: And I dont think its anyones birthday

 

Ryoma: The classrooms are filled with bottles of grape panta

 

Ryoma: And when I walked in, a machine threw confetti on my head

 

Miu: LMAO i see u XDDDDD

 

Kokichi: (⌒ω⌒)

 

Maki: Why

 

Kokichi: i just thought everyone seemed a little depressed lately so i decided to have a party

 

Kaede: Yet another surprisingly thoughtful thing done by Ouma

 

Kokichi: u can thank me later

 

Kokichi: bug boy, come help me carry this into the classroom

 

Gonta: Gonta coming!

 

Tenko: tenko has the streamers the degenerate asked for

 

Angie: Banner is ready too!!

 

Kaede: So...what are we going to do?

 

Kokichi: rmb how we said wed have an anime streaming session after the exams?

 

Kokichi: i got permission to do it in class today

 

Tsumugi: OMG YOU’RE AMAZING

 

Kokichi: ik (๑˘︶˘๑)

 

Maki: Don’t praise him too much or he’ll get a big head

 

Maki: But that’s nice of you, gremlin

 

Kokichi: i mean, i still dislike anime, but i like spending time with u all ig

 

Kaede: we love u 2 :)

 

Kokichi: ew, affection

 

Maki: Ik you secretly love it

 

Kokichi: shush

 

Kokichi: now get to the classroom asap

 

Kokichi: i got blankets and pillows

 

Kokichi: and this weird thing called a pinata

 

Himiko: nyeh? whats that?,,,

 

Kokichi: this animal-shaped thing that u hit until it breaks and candy falls out

 

Kaito: sounds fun!

 

Kokichi: yes, as long as u slowpokes hurry up

 

Kaede: IM FUCKING RUNNING ALREADY

 

Shuichi: i’m being dragged by akamatsu-san. send help

Kokichi: well u c, that wouldnt happen if u hurried the fuck up, would it?

 

Maki: I’m outside the classroom, open up

 

Kokichi: as a child i was forced to eat dog food by my father-

 

Maki: Open the fucking door, bitch

 

Maki: Also, you never knew your parents, so that’s obviously a lie

 

Kokichi: u right

 

Rantaro: thats rite, didnt u 2 grow up in the same orphanage

 

Maki: Yes, but we don’t talk about the orphanage

 

Kokichi: fucking sucked

 

Rantaro: sorry

 

Maki: Doesn’t matter. Now are we going to watch the show or not

 

Tsumugi: Let’s watch Kiznaiver first!

 

Kokichi: k

 

Kokichi: weeb

 

Rantaro: still japanese

 

Kokichi: didnt know i looked like i give a flying fuck

 

Maki: Just shut up

Chapter Text

[Chat: BEST CLASS!! ☆*:.。.o(≧▽≦)o.。.:*☆]

 

Kaede: Maki, youre leaving today, right?

 

Maki: Yeah

 

Maki: Our flight’s in two hours so we’re just walking around the airport now

 

Kokichi: bring me souvenirs!

 

Maki: Sure

 

Kirumi: I hope you have a safe flight, Harukawa-san

 

Rantaro: have a safe flight!

 

Shuichi: ^^

 

Kaito: ^^

 

Tenko: tenko hopes the three of you have a good flight!

 

Maki: Thanks. I’ll contact you guys again when I reach France

 

Maki: Aka in like half a day

 

Maki: The flight honestly takes so long. Ugh

 

Kaede: Alright! Be safe!




[Chat: BEST CLASS!! ☆*:.。.o(≧▽≦)o.。.:*☆]

 

Maki: Alright I’m in my hotel room now

 

Kaede: Thats great! Hows France?

 

Maki: It’s ok

 

Maki: Hey gremlin, I got this for you

 

Maki: purplelionplushywithcheckeredscarf.png

 

Kokichi: oh my god

 

Maki: Do you like it?

 

Kokichi: maki, ur the best sister ever ilysm (╥﹏╥)

 

Maki: Ok, that’s enough

 

Maki: Glad you like it

 

Rantaro: have u met the students from the school yet?

 

Maki: Not yet. Don’t forget about the time difference

 

Maki: But we’re meeting them first thing tomorrow morning

 

Kaede: Did you manage to sleep in the plane?

 

Maki: No, I don’t do well with planes so I’m pretty tired

 

Maki: Celestia fell asleep on Kyoko’s shoulder though. Pretty cute

 

Kokichi: i demand pics

 

Maki: Later. I need sleep

 

Kokichi: understandable, have a great sleep

 

Kaede: Good night then!

 

Maki: Night




[Chat: BEST CLASS!! ☆*:.。.o(≧▽≦)o.。.:*☆]

 

Maki: This french class is weird

 

Rantaro: how so?

 

Maki: There's this girl called Lila who, like her name suggests, lies with literally every breath in her body. 

 

Maki: She’s not even like the gremlin. She lies just to gain attention, attacks anyone who doesn’t believe her, and plays the victim every fucking minute . I’m sick of her already

 

Maki: If I had a cup of water while Liela was on fire, I’d drink it

 

Kokichi: damn. sounds bad

 

Maki: You know I actually wish you were here so that you could teach her a lesson

 

Kokichi: u and i both know u, celes, and kyoko r perfectly capable of doing that ourselves

 

Maki: You right. I, however, may not take things the entirely legal way

 

Kokichi: bold of u to assume i would

 

Maki: Got me there

 

Kaede: That sounds bad. Are you going to report her to the teacher?

 

Maki: Their homeroom teacher is a fucking enablist, and she has their principal wrapped around her little finger

 

Maki: The worst thing? Their class rep, this girl called Marinette, tried to call her out on her lying. This bitch turned (almost) their whole class against her and made her out to be some kind of bully. It’s ridiculous

 

Maki: The only ones on her side are Juleka (shy goth girl, very gay. Basically Saihara with Kokichi’s hair), Nathaniel (another shy gay) and a few others who aren’t even in their school

 

Rantaro: damn

 

Maki: Lmao

 

Maki: Celeste just metaphorically backed her into a corner with her lies

 

Kokichi: oh?

 

Maki: Aaaaand she’s making Celeste out to be the bad guy here. Figures

 

Shuichi: that sucks

 

Maki: Kyoko’s taking her turn now

 

Maki: Alright, she managed to diffuse the situation and plant little seeds of doubt in their minds

 

Kokichi: that class sounds like a herd of fucking sheep

 

Maki: That’s an accurate description

 

Maki: Aight, class is starting. Ttyl, bye

 

Rantaro: good luck




[Chat: Welcome to hell]

 

Sayaka: How are you three doing in France?

 

Celestia: I want to punch a bitch in her fucking face

 

Makoto: mood

 

Aoi: that bad huh

 

Kyoko: I agree with Celeste

 

Kyoko: This school fucking sucks

 

Junko: :00000000000

 

Junko: Kyoko cUSSED?????

 

Makoto: SCREENSHOTTED AND SAVED

 

Kyoko: Stop. I’m in a bad mood already

 

Junko: mouth zipped

 

Celestia: That motherfucking bitch

 

Celestia: I can understand where she’s coming from, at least, but victim blaming?? Turning the entire class on a girl just because she didn’t believe her lies??? Sexually harassing another student?????

 

Sayaka: Now I want to punch her in the face

 

Leon: hey @Chihiro 

 

Leon: could u maybe hack her phone to cause some chaos?

 

Chihiro: im on it!

 

Aoi: are you in yet?

 

Chihiro: yeah. just read thru her msgs and this girl is messed up

 

Chihiro: shes trying to convince one of her classmates to kill herself

 

Celestia: Yes, that would be the same classmate she turned the rest of the class on and victim blamed

 

Chihiro: my hatred for her has reached ungodly levels

 

Chihiro: as such, i will do this

 

Kyoko: Are- are you playing porn on her phone in the middle of lessons?

 

Chihiro: perhaps

 

Kyoko: If I wasn’t so devoted to keeping my ice cold detective image intact, I may laugh

 

Leon: LMAO

 

Leon: chihiro, my dude, you really went above and beyond XDDDD

 

Chihiro: i also changed her phone settings to only show porn ads and added a hundred pornographic images to her gallery

 

Celestia: Can I adopt you too?

 

Chihiro: i still have my parents, thx

 

Chihiro: also, im older than both u and kyoko

 

Celestia: Ah, that’s too bad

 

Kyoko: Please continue with your actions

 

Chihiro: sure

 

Chihiro: just put the 10h long nyan cat theme song on repeat from her phone. the volume cant be lowered and it cannot be turned off

 

Junko: *munches popcorn*

Chapter Text

[Chat: BEST CLASS!! ☆*:.。.o(≧▽≦)o.。.:*☆]

 

Maki: Last day in this hellhole

 

Kokichi: howd the situation with the lying bitch go?

 

Maki: Kyoko got her expelled :)

 

Kokichi: °˖✧◝(⁰▿⁰)◜✧˖°

 

Kaede: Good for her

 

Maki: Not looking forward to the flight back though

 

Rantaro: tell her the news

 

Maki: ???

 

Kaede: The principal decided to hold a school prom for all the levels

 

Miu: hell yeah bitches

 

Miu: kayaday, wanna go w/ me?

 

Kaede: Unexpected but ok

 

Kokichi: shumai, lets go tgt!

 

Shuichi: sure

 

Maki: So now we’re just asking our prom dates?

 

Kaede: I guess?

 

Tenko: tenko already asked yumeno-chan to go with her!

 

Rantaro: congrats

 

Maki: I’ll probably just go by myself, hang around in the corner the whole time, and leave as early as possible

 

Kokichi: ur going to have fun , makiroll

 

Maki: No

 

Maki: Proms aren’t fun

 

Kokichi: neither of us have been to one b4

 

Maki: Maybe not, but I’ve been to enough fancy galas to last my entire lifetime

 

Kaede: You have?

 

Maki: Assassination missions

 

Kaede: Oh

 

Kaito: how come you dont complain when ouma calls you maki-roll?

 

Maki: Because I realised it’s pointless

 

Kokichi: and she looooves me more than u :)

 

Maki: Stfu




[Chat: Unnamed chat]

 

-K1-B0 created a new chat-

 

-K1-B0 added Kaito, Shuichi and 1 other-

 

Kokichi: woww, whats this?

 

Kokichi: if its another therapy gc im leaving

 

K1-B0: I can assure you it is not.

 

Shuichi: therapy gc?...

 

Kokichi: shush

 

K1-B0: I was wondering if the three of you would accompany me to prom.

 

Kaito: of course i will!

 

Shuichi: ...this is rather sudden

 

K1-B0: I am aware, and I apologize for that.

 

K1-B0: However, I find all three of you rather attractive and so I decided to ask. We need not pursue a future relationship, but I would appreciate it if we could go to prom together.

 

Shuichi: sure

 

Kokichi: i guess, since shumai said yes

 

K1-B0: Thank you.




[Chat: Class 78]

 

Kiyotaka: Have all of you acquired a partner for the prom?

 

Leon: chill, its in like a week

 

Kiyotaka: But it is better to get it out of the way first! Mondo and I will be going together!

 

Mondo: dont pressure them, im sure some of them are still too scared to ask their partner

 

Kiyotaka: In that case, I apologize! I do not mean to pressure you into asking!

 

Makoto: its fine, dw abt it

 

Kyoko: Celeste and I are going together

 

Leon: as expected

 

Aoi: i’m going with sakura-chan!

 

Sayaka: And Muku and I are going together!

 

Makoto: basically only the gays and lesbians have their lives figured out

 

Leon: LMAO

 

Toko: I’m going with your sister, Naegi-kun

 

Makoto: tf???

 

Kiyotaka: Language!

 

Makoto: srry

 

Makoto: but she didnt tell me abt it????

 

Kyoko: Literally no one blames her

 

Sayaka: Yeah, no offense, but you’re a little too protective of her

 

Makoto: am not!

 

Toko: Whatever

 

Byakuya: I do not intend on going to this ‘prom’

 

Leon: we dont want u there anyways

 

Kiyotaka: Kuwata-kun! That is not a very polite thing to say to your classmate!

 

Leon: do u not agree?

 

Kiyotaka:

 

Kiyotaka: Perhaps, but you do not need to point it out!

 

Junko: LMAO GET REKT

 

-Byakuya left the chat-

 

Kiyotaka: Oh dear.

 

Kyoko: It doesn’t matter, I will add him back later

 

Sayaka: Or we could leave him out 

 

Celestia: While you’re at it, remove Yamada too

 

Kiyotaka: Celestia-san!

 

-Kyoko removed Hifumi from the chat-

 

Kiyotaka: Kirigiri-san!




[Chat: BEST CLASS!! ☆*:.。.o(≧▽≦)o.。.:*☆]

 

Maki: I just want to sleep for 2 days

 

Kirumi: Do you require help unpacking?

 

Maki: It’s fine, I don’t have a lot of things anyway

 

Kokichi: none of us died!

 

Kokichi: and i remembered to feed ur cat!

 

Maki: Good job

 

Maki: Now don’t disturb me, I’m going to nap with Hayami

 

Kirumi: I made some sandwiches and left them on your dresser in case you get hungry.

 

Maki: Thanks. Good night




[Chat: H O P E]

 

Akane: just saw hajimeme ask hope bagel and gamer girl to the prom

 

Sonia: That is most adorable!

 

Sonia: I’m going with Gundham!

 

Gundham: My fair lady’s light shines even through the shroud of darkness

 

Souda: miss Sonia???

 

Sonia: ヽ(>_<ヽ) ―⊂|=0ヘ(^‿^ )

 

Hiyoko: squash the pink simp!

 

Hajime: guys…

 

Ibuki: DID YOU REALLY ASK BOTH NAGITO AND CHIAKI?

 

Hajime: yeah. they said yes btw

 

Ibuki: IBUKI IS HAPPY FOR YOU!!

 

Chiaki: thx

 

Nagito: The sheer amount of hope is truly overwhelming!

 

Hiyoko: shut up about ur stupid hope

 

Mahiru: Hiyoko, be nice

 

Hajime: anyone else going together?

 

Peko: Not currently

 

Peko: But I hope we can all have a fun time at the prom, regardless of whether we have a date or not

 

Ibuki: IBUKI AGREES WITH PEKO-PEKO! 

 

Hajime: knowing our class and the other classes, it’s probably going to end up in chaos

Chapter Text

[Chat: Welcome to hell]

 

Sayaka: My dog is missing, has anyone seen her?

 

Makoto: no, srry

 

Leon: nope

 

Celestia: My cat is missing too

 

Aoi: so are my fish!!

 

Sakura: Oowada-kun says his dog is also gone

 

Kyoko: This is strange

 

Kyoko: Not to worry, I will help to look for them

 

Aoi: thanks, kyoko-chan!




[Chat: H O P E]

 

Sonia: Is anyone else’s pets missing?

 

Hajime: naegi-kun informed me that his classmates’ pets have disappeared

 

Hajime: so it seems like this is a school-wide thing

 

Hajime: he asked me to make a list of all the missing pets

 

Gundham: My four Dark Devas of Destruction are still with me

 

Hajime: that’s odd

 

Hajime: type in the chat if u have missing pets

 

Sonia: I have a yellow songbird!

 

Impostor: I have a chameleon

 

Ibuki: IBUKI HAS A PARROT!!

 

Peko: I have two chinchillas

 

Gundham: Ah, the twin beasts of yin and yang

 

Peko: Indeed

 

Hajime: ?

 

Peko: Tanaka-san gifted the chinchillas to me

 

Peko: Their names are In and Yo

 

Peko: Also meaning yin and yang

 

Hajime: i see. are those all?

 

Chiaki: i have a cat

 

Hajime: alright. I’ll give this list to kirigiri-san then




[Chat: BEST CLASS!! ☆*:.。.o(≧▽≦)o.。.:*☆]

 

Shuichi: everyone’s pets have disappeared apparently

 

Shuichi: kokichi, did you have something to do with this?

 

Kokichi: come 2 the backyard (*°▽°*)

 

Shuichi: why do you do this

 

Kokichi: theyre all safe!

 

Shuichi: yes, but you can’t go around taking other people’s pets

 

Maki: What’s the real reason behind this?

 

Kokichi: i wanted to have a big playdate for all the pets!

 

Shuichi: you could have just asked

 

Kokichi: but whats the fun in that?

 

Kaede: Why didnt you take Tanaka-senpai’s hamsters?

 

Kokichi: they bit me ~(>_<~)

 

Rantaro: and chabashira’s rabbits didnt?

 

Kokichi: good point

 

Kokichi: however, i dont feel like being cursed by their owner today (・人・)

 

Kokichi: also, peko-chan’s chinchillas are super fluffy

 

Maki: Yes, they’re very cute

 

Kaede: Ooh, now I want to see

 

Kokichi: blackandwhitechinchillascurleduptogether.png

 

Kaede: oH MY GOSH THAT IS ADORABLE

 

Kokichi: ikr????

 

Shuichi: Nevermind-senpai’s bird just pooped on my head

 

Korekiyo: Did you know that in several cultures, a bird excreting on one’s head is considered a sign of good luck?

 

Shuichi: that is interesting, i didn’t know that

 

Shuichi: we, however, are japanese. the only thing it’s considered to be here is disgusting

 

Kaede: You should go wash it off quickly

 

Shuichi: i will. kokichi, please return the pets to their respective owners

 

Kokichi: fine, fine (¬_¬;)




[Chat: BEST CLASS!! ☆*:.。.o(≧▽≦)o.。.:*☆]

 

Kokichi: now i feel like adopting a chinchilla 

 

Maki: I can get one for you

 

Kokichi: REALLY?!?!?

 

Maki: For Christmas

 

Kokichi: but thats so faaaaaaar away (」°ロ°)」

 

Maki: Deal with it

 

Rantaro: every time i c u guys interact, u seem more and more like siblings

 

Maki: It has been a few weeks already

 

Kaede: I think its sweet :)

 

Shuichi: i just realised…

 

Shuichi: if i marry kokichi, harukawa will be my sister-in-law

 

Shuichi: this is giving me a migraine

 

Maki: That’s really weird to think about

 

Kokichi: and if we adopt a kid, ull be their aunt!

 

Maki: Stop

 

Tenko: almost all males are degenerates, but you are even more of a degenerate, it seems

 

Maki: He’s ok. Mostly

 

Kaede: ‘Almost all’? I thought you hated all males?

 

Tenko: saihara has proven himself to be a decent human being

 

Shuichi: wow. i’m flattered




[Broadcast: Celestia > Hope’s Peak Academy students]

 

Celestia: The homophobic male is back, and he is threatening to sue

 

Celestia: Get down to the courtyard now to claim a punch




[Chat: BEST CLASS!! ☆*:.。.o(≧▽≦)o.。.:*☆]

 

Kokichi: did u see the broadcast?

 

Maki: Yep. Now I can make up for the last time when I was still in the hospital

 

Shuichi: chabashira-san taught me a few aikido moves for this purpose

 

Tenko: and this is why saihara is a decent male

 

Kaede: ...Because he attacks homophobes with you?

 

Tenko: Yep!

 

Kokichi: hurry up, or hell be dead b4 u arrive!!!




[Chat: BEST CLASS!! ☆*:.。.o(≧▽≦)o.。.:*☆]

 

Maki: This time, I made sure he’s really dead

 

Kaito: so you guys murdered him?

 

Kokichi: yep! it was suuuuuper exciting! o(≧▽≦)o

 

Kokichi: but srsly, he deserved it

 

Kaede: Shuichi and Kirigiri-senpai helped hide the body

 

Kaito: cool

 

Kokichi: hey i have an idea

 

Shuichi: oh no

 

Kokichi: lets hang up pride flags on the school gate to ward off homophobes!!

 

Maki: That’s actually an ok idea

 

Kokichi: ofc!! (^▽^)

 

Kokichi: i mean, i already got angie to paint a rainbow on the side of the school

 

Kaede: You wHAT??

 

Angie: It was very fun!~

 

Kaede: Please tell me it isnt permanent

 

Angie: It is

 

Kaede: What am I going to tell Kirigir-sensei????

 

Kokichi: u dont

 

Kaede: How do you propose I do that?

 

Kokichi: i mean its been there for 2 days now and none of the teachers have noticed ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

 

Kokichi: well be fine

 

Ryoma: Somebody painted the sidewalk in the colours of the bi flag

 

Kaede: Why?

 

Kokichi: becos its fun

 

Kokichi: homophobes beware (๑˃ᴗ˂)ﻭ

Chapter Text

[Chat: BEST CLASS!! ☆*:.。.o(≧▽≦)o.。.:*☆]

 

Maki: KAEDE TELL YOUR DOG TO STOP CHASING HAYAMI

 

Kaede: BOLD OF YOU TO ASSUME SHE LISTENS TO ME

 

Shuichi: you have a dog?

 

Kaede: Just adopted her yesterday :)

 

Kaede: Shes a golden retriever and her name is Rico

 

Maki: AND SHE’S TERRIFYING MY CAT

 

Kaede: IM SORRY

 

Shuichi: can’t you just take your cat somewhere else?

 

Maki: She’s on top of the cupboard and won’t come down

 

Maki: I would climb up and get her but I’m having cramps

 

Kirumi: Do you need a heat pack?

 

Maki: Yes please

 

Kirumi: I will bring one over for you.

 

Kokichi: makiroll also forgot to mention that shes afraid of dogs (¯▿¯)

 

Maki: I’m not

 

Kaede: Oh fuck

 

Kaede: Im so sorry, I didnt know

 

Maki: I’m not scared of dogs

 

Shuichi: there’s nothing wrong with being scared of things

 

Shuichi: the phobia of dogs is actually one of the most common phobias in the world

 

Rantaro: and being able to admit ur fears is super brave

 

Maki: ...Maybe I am a little afraid of dogs

 

Kaede: I asked Tanaka-senpai to come over 

 

Kaede: Sorry again

 

Maki: It’s fine

 

Shuichi: i have a dog too

 

Shuichi: he helps me with investigations

 

Kokichi: ooh, what breed is he?

 

Shuichi: labrador, black fur. his name is dusk

 

Kokichi: noice (b ᵔ▽ᵔ)b

 

Rantaro: r we talking about our pets now?

 

Kaede: Sure

 

Rantaro: well i have a tortoise whos like 50 years old

 

Rantaro: her name is casus and she was given to me by my grandfather

 

Gonta: Gonta have lots of bug friends!

 

Gonta: But Gonta no give them names

 

Tsumugi: My dog is called Katsuki and he’s a pomeranian

 

Himiko: nyeh,,,my tigers name is yawnfeather

 

Tsumugi: Warrior cats reference?

 

Himiko: yes

 

Tenko: tenko’s rabbits are both belgian hares! their names are neo and aiki!

 

Korekiyo: My garter snake is called Antik. She was a gift from my late sister

 

Ryoma: My cats’ names are Minty, Yokka, Pebble, Chi-chi and Suna. My goldfish is called Kaiyo

 

Kokichi: lets do another pet playdate!!!

 

Kaede: Thats fine, as long as you ask first

 

Kokichi: fiiiiiiine




[Chat: Welcome to hell]

 

Sayaka: Hey guys, theres a older guy down here who wants to see the WOH, apparently

 

Celestia: Ask for his name

 

Sayaka: He says hes Haiji Towa

 

Celestia: FUCK NO

 

Celestia: Get him OUTTA HERE

 

Sayaka: Alright

 

Makoto: whos that?

 

Celestia: A piece of shit that crawled out of hell years ago and just won’t die

 

Celestia: He’s Monaca’s brother and a FUCKING pervert and pedophile

 

Celestia: He’s at least 30 years old and he tried to hit on Kotoko, who is twelve

 

Leon: thats messed up

 

Sayaka: He refused to leave

 

Sayaka: He then told me I was hot and is trying to get me to ‘go home with him’ even though I told him I was taken (and at least 10 years younger)

 

Mukuro: Guess who’s going to commit a murder? :)

 

Celestia: Don’t bother. I tried it before, but he hasn’t died yet

 

Mukuro: I’ll just cut off his dick then

 

Celestia: Get all the fighters from the different classes down there

 

Celestia: Oogami-san, I’d like to request for yours and Oowada-kun’s assistance

 

Sakura: Of course

 

Celestia: Maizono, keep stalling him

 

Sayaka: Sure, but hes making me very uncomfortable

 

Chihiro: im watching from the security cameras

 

Chihiro: if he does anything, ill alert the teachers immediately

 

Sayaka: Thanks, Chihiro

 

Celestia: Asahina-san, Kuwata-kun, keep the kids away from our dorm

 

Aoi: on it

 

Celestia: I have contacted Pekoyama-san, Owari-senpai, Nidai-senpai, Gokuhara-kun, Chabashira-san and Maki

 

Makoto: arent there more students who r good at fiting?

 

Celestia: Yes, but they lack the strength to throw the cockroach out of the school like they will inevitably have to do. Not to mention that he is unfairly big-sized so people like Kokichi may be overpowered

 

Leon: this is very well thought out

 

Celestia: Between Kyoko and I, we have plans for everything

 

Makoto: remind me nvr to piss u 2 off

 

Mukuro: The cockroach is unfortunately not dead, but he will not be having children any time soon

 

Celestia: Good. Fujisaki-san, wipe the security footage

 

Chihiro: alr done 

 

Aoi: bad news, 3 out of 5 of the woh saw the cockroach just as u threw him out, and we now have a few freaked-out children on our hands

 

Celestia: Asahina, you had one job

 

Aoi: i’m sorry! the windows in their dorms don’t have curtains!

 

Kyoko: Which ones?

 

Aoi: huh?

 

Kyoko: Which of the children are panicking

 

Aoi: the two girls. leon took the other three to play a video game or smtg

 

Celestia: I’m heading over. Get some sweets ready

 

Aoi: kk

 

Aoi: celes-san, ur surprisingly knowledgeable about these panic attacks

 

Celestia: Of course, I had to learn how to handle my own panic attacks

 

-Celestia deleted one message-

 

Aoi: what was that?

 

Celestia: Don’t concern yourself about it

Chapter Text

[Chat: BEST CLASS!! ☆*:.。.o(≧▽≦)o.。.:*☆]

 

Kokichi: pride parade pt 2!!!!!

 

Rantaro: i can participate this time :D

 

Kaede: Did you not go to the last one?

 

Rantaro: i was in detention with komaeda-kun

 

Rantaro: we were conducting some experiments with his luck and a teacher walked in on us

 

Shuichi: ...what experiments?

 

Rantaro: we may have burned some of our hair in the process

 

Shuichi: i no longer want to know

 

Maki: I didn’t know you were trans

 

Rantaro: i dont bother trying to hide it, but the topic nvr rlly came up ig

 

Kaede: And we love and accept you!!!!!

 

Rantaro: thank u :)

 

Tsumugi: What happened to initiate pt 2 of the pride parade?

 

Kokichi: prom is in a few days so i wanted to make sure everyone felt comfortable and accepted ヽ(>∀<☆)ノ

 

Kokichi: also to ward off any potential homophobes at prom

 

Maki: Good job, gremlin

 

Kaede: Wait a minute

 

Kaede: If we only just found out youre trans 

 

Kaede: Does that mean you were a binder all day?

 

Tsumugi: He does. Even though I’ve told him multiple times that it isn’t healthy >:(

 

Rantaro: sorry

 

Kaede: Dont apologise to us

 

Kaede: Were just concerned about your health

 

Rantaro: im getting top surgery at the end of the year tho so its only until then

 

Maki: Just take care of yourself 

 

Rantaro: 👍




Hajime Hinata did not bake. Hajime did not cook, microwave, toast, or go anywhere near the kitchen in general. So, why was he standing in that very area right now?

 

It started out innocently enough, with Chiaki making an off-handed comment about how she would have liked to eat a cupcake while gaming. 

 

...And of course, like the absolute fucking simps they were, Nagito and Hajime offered to bake some for her. Which led to this mess.

 

“The recipe says to add a spoonful of vanilla extract.”

 

“What even is that???”

 

“Hey Hinata-kun, do we have a measuring cup?”

 

“Look in the cupboard!”

 

But in the end, the cupcakes were in the oven, and the three of them were working on cleaning up the kitchen (if only so that Teruteru wouldn’t have a heart attack, as funny as that might be)

 

“How did you manage to get flour all over yourself?” Hajime remarked, gently brushing through Nagito’s fluffy white hair.

 

The latter merely smiled serenely, clasping his hands together. “Ah, for a useless student like me to be helped by Hinata-kun himself, this is truly wonderful!”

 

“Don’t say things like that, you’re not useless.” 

 

“I must be truly lucky to end up with people like Hinata-kun and Nanami-san,” Nagito grabbed Hajime’s hand, his eyes shining brightly. “Two people who are so full of hope!”

 

Hajime blushed at the contact, averting his eyes from the sheer pureness of his boyfriend, who was practically glowing at this point.

 

“The cupcakes are done...I think,” Chiaki said absent-mindedly, focused on her video game.

 

“Yeah, I think so. Do you guys wanna try them?”

 

Chiaki took a small bite out of the still-hot cupcake (though she didn’t seem to mind the temperature). Without any changes to her voice or facial expression, she commented, “This is fucking salty.”




[Chat: BEST CLASS!! ☆*:.。.o(≧▽≦)o.。.:*☆]

 

Kaede: There are some odd-looking people dressed in black in the courtyard

 

Shuichi: that’s strange

 

Kokichi: LOCK THE FUCKING DOORS

 

Kaede: What?

 

Kokichi: JUST DO IT

 

Kaede: Alright

 

Rantaro: do u know them?

 

Kokichi: yes

 

Kokichi: inform the principal

 

Kokichi: have the police on speed dial

 

Kokichi: get the hacker to record them 

 

Kokichi: literally anything

 

Miu: never seen the purple abortion so panicked

 

Kokichi: SHUT THE FUCK UP, FILTHY WHORE

 

Miu: eep!

 

Kaede: Principal and teaching staff have been informed

 

Kaede: The MIB are kinda just standing around though

 

Kokichi: dont be fooled. theyre just waiting for the right moment

 

Shuichi: who are they?

 

Kokichi: u dw to know

 

Kokichi: im contacting celes




[Private message: Kokichi > Celestia]

 

Kokichi: plan 72

 

Celestia: So they decided to show their miserable, pathetic faces at this school?

 

Kokichi: indeed

 

Celestia: Well then, let’s make sure they regret it




[Chat: BEST CLASS!! ☆*:.。.o(≧▽≦)o.。.:*☆]

 

Kaede: Celestia-senpai is walking out to meet them?

 

Shuichi: that looks dangerous…

 

Kokichi: dw, shes fine

 

Kokichi: not sure if u notice the many surveillance cameras all going directly to the japanese government

 

Kokichi: or the fact that mukuro-chan is hiding behind the bushes

 

Kaede: Whats she doing?

 

Kokichi: watch and see

 

Kaede: Shes...offering them a paper?

 

Shuichi: it looks like something she wants them to sign

 

Shuichi: a contract, probably

 

Gonta: Gonta not know where Harukawa-san is!

 

Kokichi: shes in my room. dw about us

 

Gonta: Oh, ok! :)

 

Tsumugi: That smiley face just extended my life by 30 years

 

Ryoma: Mood

 

Kaede: They signed it????

 

Kaede: Kokichi, what was on that paper?

 

Rantaro: and who were those ppl?

 

Kokichi: ill explain, just dont interrupt while im doing so

 

Kokichi: basically those were the ppl who ran the assassin organization

 

Kokichi: they were mad makiroll left, so they were here to try and get her back

 

Kokichi: however, they couldnt do anything because celes made them sign the contract

 

Kokichi: u dont need to know the details of the contract

 

Kokichi: but they wont be coming back here again

 

Kokichi: and this is why celes is the best mom

 

Shuichi: that’s impressive

 

Kokichi: plan 72

 

Kokichi: we were initially planning to go with plan 58, but there were some complications with that plan. we also were considering plan 25, 83, 49 and 62, but decided that those were too risky

 

Kaede: How many plans did you have???

 

Kokichi: celes and kyoko have plans for everything

 

Kokichi: one of the scrapped plans involved just killing them where they stood, but they were all wearing bulletproof jackets

 

Tenko: is harukawa-san ok?

 

Kokichi: shes fine

 

Kokichi: were gonna play mario kart if anyone wants to join

 

Rantaro: nyoom

Chapter Text

[Chat: Welcome to hell]

 

Sayaka: Hey Makoto, where are you?

 

Makoto: cafeteria

 

Makoto: komaeda-senpai n i r having a luck competition

 

Leon: whos winning?

 

Makoto: its abt equal

 

Kyoko: While I feel Komaeda-senpai has stronger good luck, he also has an equal amount of bad luck

 

Leon: huh????

 

Kyoko: Let me give an example. He is the sole survivor of at least two plane crashes, right?

 

Sayaka: Yep

 

Leon: dude, thats crazy

 

Kyoko: Indeed. His good luck meant that he survived both encounters, but it was his bad luck that caused him to be the victim of the plane crashes in the first place

 

Aoi: that makes sense!

 

Kyoko: In comparison, Makoto’s luck is much weaker, but more consistent. For example, he may have small instances in a day where he gets lucky, such as finding a dropped coin or just narrowly missing being hit in the head by a flying wrench

 

Leon: why would there be a flying wrench?

 

Junko: ehehehehe

 

Makoto: i won!

 

Aoi: amazing!!

 

Yasuhiro: tahts sso rad

 

Leon: how???????

 

Makoto: komaeda-senpai unfortunately had a bout of bad luck right at the end so i won :D

 

Kyoko: Well done

 

Celestia: Maybe I should join you next time

 

Leon: come to think of it, celes is technically another ultimate luck, isnt she?

 

Leon: like some games are entirely luck based and she still manages to win them

 

Celestia: I do have rather strong luck, but I have worked hard to achieve my title. Please do not insult me by insinuating that it is all due to luck

 

Leon: sorry




[Private message: Celestia > Gundham]

 

Celestia: Is it ready?

 

Gundham: It is. When do you require me to venture into the dark lands of the unknown?

 

Celestia: In about an hour, please

 

Gundham: It will be done

 

Gundham: I wish you well, fellow Sister of Darkness

 

Celestia: Thank you




[Chat: Welcome to hell]

 

Makoto: hey kyoko, could u come down 2 the common room 4 a bit?

 

Kyoko: Sure, what do you need?

 

Makoto: come down 1st

 

Kyoko:

 

Kyoko: I was not expecting this

 

Celestia: Happy birthday :)

 

Kyoko: Is that a dog?

 

Aoi: it is!!!!

 

Celestia: She is a German Shepherd puppy, about four months of age

 

Celestia: Tanaka-kun was kind enough to find her for me

 

Kyoko: Thanks

 

Kyoko: She is quite cute

 

Sayaka: Are you crying?

 

Kyoko: No

 

Leon: we can literally see u

 

Kyoko: It’s just the allergies

 

Celestia: Are you allergic to dogs?

 

Kyoko: No

 

Kyoko: I am allergic to emotions, apparently

 

Sayaka: Yeah, just ignore her. She clearly loves your gift!!

 

Celestia: I am very happy :)))

 

Junko: a triple smiley face????? wow shes the equivalent of ecstatic rn, lol

 

Celestia: I would check under my bed tonight if I were you, Enoshima

 

Junko: bYE

 

Yasuhiro: eheolp

 

Leon: ??

 

Makoto: i think hes asking 4 help

 

Yasuhiro: mukruro bretahung ntu gud

 

Yasuhiro: mayebdef pasd outh

 

Sayaka: WHAT

 

Sayaka: Coming over

 

Aoi: what happened?

 

Celestia: I believe Ikusaba-san had a panic attack

 

Aoi: oh no! was it the fireworks?

 

Celestia: Perhaps

 

Celestia: Anyways, we should stop it just in case

 

Celestia: We have cake

 

Kyoko: Cake

 

Sayaka: Why do I feel like she just said that in the cutest, most excited way possible

 

Celestia: She did

 

Kyoko: Shhhh

 

Celestia: Someone also spiked the punch because she’s somewhat drunk

 

Leon: guilty

 

Celestia: If she throws up, that’s on you

 

Leon: thats fair

Chapter Text

Hey guys!! Remember how a few chapters ago, I mentioned something about a Saiouma phantom thief AU? Well, if you don't, I'm telling you now. It's the fic that I'm the most excited about currently because there are just so many different elements to it. 

I'm planning to officially release it in December, hopefully. However, I will be dropping some exclusive scenes from the AU on my Tumblr page, @flowersnfireworks under the tag #hanabi's writing. So you can follow me there if you want to find out more about it!!!

I actually recorded myself explaining the characters in this particular AU, but I didn't notice the multiple spoilers that I accidentally included, so I took it down for now. However, I will re-upload it AFTER I publish the fic, just so you can get some fun facts about the characters. My YouTube account is @FlowersNFireworks, you can follow me there if you want, even though I have literally nothing there. 

BUT, if you want to see me record something and post it on YouTube, you are welcome to ask. I had one of my friends tell me I should do something with you guys, just for fun, like if you want to see me play Roblox or something (Chai, I'm pretty sure no one will ask for that kind of stuff, please stop pestering me about it). 

That's all, have a great day, everyone! Hanabi, out!!!!

Chapter Text

[Chat: BEST CLASS!! ☆*:.。.o(≧▽≦)o.。.:*☆]

 

Kokichi: guys, did u know that celes is a huge fucking weeb??

 

Maki: I knew

 

Kokichi: shush, u dont count σ( ̄、 ̄〃)

 

Tsumugi: :000000

 

Tsumugi: REALLY?????????

 

Tsumugi: WHAT DOES SHE WATCH????

 

Rantaro: u have unleashed a demon

 

Maki: She watches a few gambling animes

 

Maki: Her favorite is Kakegurui, though she says the games played in it are inaccurate

 

Tsumugi: I mean, that’s fair. I watched it too, but I didn’t enjoy it as much as other animes

 

Kokichi: it was reeeeeally boring

 

Shuichi: we get it, you don’t like anime

 

Kaede: Now shut up

 

Kokichi: 凸( ̄ヘ ̄)

 

Maki: 凸( ̄ヘ ̄)

 

Kokichi: i taught u so well *wipes tear*

 

Maki: You didn’t teach me shit

 

Kokichi: wow rude

 

Kokichi: respect ur elders (;⌣̀_⌣́)

 

Maki: I’m older than you

 

Rantaro: *munches popcorn*

 

Kokichi: *dramatic gasp* you reject me as ur older brother????

 

Maki: Can’t reject you if you were never older to begin with

 

Kokichi: its because im short, isnt it (`ー´)

 

Maki: No, it’s just a fact

 

Maki: The fact that you’re short does play a part in it though

 

Kokichi: meanie ↑_(ΦwΦ)Ψ

 

Maki: Short fucking bitch

 

Kaede: And this round goes to Maki!!

 

Maki: It was never a competition to begin with

 

Kokichi: saihara-chaaaaaaan

 

Kokichi: makirolls bullying me again (╥﹏╥)

 

Shuichi: sigh

 

Maki: I got you an ice cream

 

Kokichi: i take it back ur my favorite sister ever makiroll

 

Maki: Yeah yeah

 

Rantaro: is it just me whos confused

 

Kaede: Just go with it




[Chat: Welcome to hell]

 

Makoto: hows mukuro?

 

Sayaka: Shes fine

 

Sayaka: And shes fucking adorable when she sleeps

 

Kyoko: I feel the same way about Celeste

 

Celestia: Shh

 

Aoi: so sweet!!

 

Makoto: what r u guys planning to do during the winter break?

 

Leon: i made some plans with ibuki!!!

 

Aoi: sakura and i are probably going to practice our ultimate talents :3

 

Kyoko: Celeste and I are staying at a house I rented last year

 

Sayaka: Youre not going home for the break?

 

Kyoko: I don’t have a very good relationship with my father, and my grandfather is overseas on a case

 

Celestia: I got kicked out when I was 14

 

Leon: ???????

 

Junko: tEa????

 

Makoto: enoshima, pls stfu

 

Makoto: this is clearly sensitive info

 

Aoi: what happened?? (you don’t need to say though)

 

Celestia: My parents didn’t approve of me bringing my now ex-girlfriend home

 

Sayaka: That sucks :(

 

Aoi: well, we’re here for you now!!!!!

 

Celestia: Thank you

 

Chihiro: just finished downloading the video of every1 beating up that 1 homophobe at sch the other day

 

Chihiro: wanna watch it in the common room tgt?

 

Leon: YES

 

Junko: im out shopping, so ill pass

 

Sayaka: And Im still with Muku so Im gonna pass too, sorry

 

Sayaka: But send it to me later please

 

Chihiro: sure

 

Toko: Out with Omaru

 

Leon: SHE SPEAKS

 

Yasuhiro: cryptidb sptoeed

 

Toko: This is why I hate you guys

 

Makoto: omaru?????

 

Toko: Your sister

 

Makoto: my sister????????

 

Toko: Bye

 

Byakuya: Pass

 

Kyoko: Ishimaru and Oowada say they will join us

 

Chihiro: gr8!! c u in the common room in 10 mins then :)

 

Aoi: pure

 

Sayaka: Agreed




[Chat: BEST CLASS!! ☆*:.。.o(≧▽≦)o.。.:*☆]

 

Kirumi: Reminder that prom occurs tomorrow night.

 

Kaito: oh shit its tmr???

 

Maki: Dumbass

 

Maki: Thanks for the reminder

 

Kaede: Ive got my dress already!!!

 

Tenko: tenko has gotten a suit

 

Rantaro: kaede just suffered a nosebleed

 

Kaede: Shut up, Im a disaster bi, ok??

 

Maki: I have a dress too, though I couldn’t really care any less about the prom

 

Rantaro: the nosebleed shows no signs of stopping

 

Maki: Still aroace over here

 

Kaede: Sorry

 

Kaede: But youre attractive and I happen to experience aesthetic attraction to pretty people

 

Maki: You think I’m attractive?

 

Kaede: Obviously

 

Tenko: yes!!!!

 

Miu: i guess ur kinda pretty

 

Kaede: A person would have to be either blind or not attracted to women to say youre not absolutely stunning

 

Kokichi: u should see her face rn (¬‿¬ )

 

Kokichi: shes completely red

 

Maki: Do you wanna die

 

-Nagito added Nagito into the chat-

 

Nagito: Such hope!!!

 

-Nagito left the chat-

 

Shuichi: ?

 

Rantaro: kaede created so much positive emotion that she managed to summon komaeda-senpai

 

Miu: LMAO

 

Kaede: Its important that you guys are confident in yourselves!!!

 

Shuichi: too bright…

 

Angie: Atua? Is that you?

 

Rantaro: no, its just kaede

 

Tsumugi: This reminds me of an anime that I watched! The protagonist was so positive, he started glowing!!

 

Kokichi: fuck off, weeb

 

Kokichi: makiroll and i r in the vents now btw

 

Kokichi: in case anyone wants to find us later

 

Shuichi: why?

 

Maki: My eyes are light-sensitive

 

Maki: One of the downsides of having red eyes (A/N: I looked it up, and red eyes occur only in albino animals - though this is an anime and real world logic doesn’t apply here -. Albino animals have red eyes due to a lack of melanin in their body, which also causes their white fur. Thus I hc that the students with red eyes [Celestia, Kiyotaka, Peko, Gonta and Maki] are especially sensitive to light)

 

Kirumi: Dinner is in 20 minutes.

 

Kirumi: And please be safe in the vents. They are not the most stable

 

Maki: K

Chapter Text

 

Logically, part of Celestia’s brain knew this was a dream. A mere figment of her imagination. However, this part of her was vastly overshadowed, left a prisoner in her mind.

 

“Mama, Papa, look!” A younger version of Celeste - no,  Taeko  - held up her report card proudly, bearing a wide smile on her face.

 

“An A+?” her mother gasped. “I’m so proud of you, Taeko!”

 

“That’s my baby girl!” her father grinned broadly, seizing the small girl around her waist and throwing her into the air, making her squeal with delight.

 

The dream abruptly changed, going from a happy family atmosphere to a far more somber one in the blink of an eye.

 

“Papa? Where’s Mama?” Taeko used her free hand to tug at her father’s sleeves anxiously. She didn’t look much older than the previous scene, bordering on five at the most.

 

The man glanced down at his daughter, unconsciously tightening his grip on her small wrist. “Mama’s gone on a journey, sweetheart. And we’re here today to send her off.”

 

Taeko brightened at his words, the smile returning to her face. “Ok!”

 

Glancing around, however, she noticed quite a few other children near her age also present at the venue. “Papa, who are they?” she asked innocently.

 

Her father didn’t even bother sparing them a glance before replying shortly, “Your siblings.”

 

“I have siblings?” Taeko tilted her head curiously. As far as she knew, she was an only child and had been for the past four years of her life.

 

“Yes, you do. Why don’t you go say hello? I’ll...be talking with Mama before she leaves.” 

 

Taeko skipped away across the grass, humming a light tune softly to herself. Her father’s gaze followed her for a few moments, before returning to rest on the coffin laying before him.

 

The dream shifted again, though it remained at the same scene. 

 

Taeko was excitedly talking with another child, a black-haired boy with red eyes, slightly bigger than her. Behind him, his twin sister stood, silently observing.

 

“Do we have any other siblings?” she asked him, brimming with excitement about having more prospective playmates.

 

The boy nodded, pointing at another child standing across from them. “I heard that he’s also our brother, though I have not talked to him yet.”

 

Taeko glances behind him curiously, at the girl standing back from the conversation. “Anzu-chan, have you talked to him?”

 

The older girl blinked in surprise, before smiling at her younger sister. “I haven’t. Shall we all go and talk to him together?”

 

“That is a good idea!” her brother agreed. “He must be lonely, standing there by himself!”

 

The dream cuts off just as Taeko opens her mouth to respond, resurfacing back in the familiar apartment. Now, however, the atmosphere is darker, threatening.

 

Taeko - now appearing about seven years old - slinks into the house, being careful not to make any sound when she closes the door. Sneaking past her father, passed out on the couch, she finally slips into her room, breathing a sigh of relief.

 

Once bright eyes turned dull, she takes out her cheap, battered phone from her pocket, opting to throw herself on her bed and scroll through her social media. Nothing caught her eye and she sighed, rolling over and hugging one of her many cat plushies. 

 

Her father would no doubt scold her if he found that she was wasting time that could be used for studying. But he wasn’t here right now, so she was free to do as she pleased. And all she wanted to do right now was sleep.

 

Once again, the dream changes, now back to the living room. 

 

A nine-year-old Taeko cowers in front of her father, shoulders hunched and face turned downwards.

 

“A B+?!” her father roars, shaking her test papers furiously at her face. “What were you doing after school, huh? Slacking off as usual?” His eyes are bloodshot and his breath smells strongly of alcohol. 

 

“N-no, Papa-” she’s cut off by a harsh blow to her face, sending her reeling backward. Taeko cries out in pain, clutching her cheek, where a red mark is already blooming. 

 

“Did I say you could talk!?”

 

Taeko bows her head and remains silent. She should know better than to talk without permission by now, really.

 

‘From now on, no more of your frivolous activities! I’m taking your phone, and you won’t be getting it back.” her father spits, red-faced and fuming. “Go to your room! You don’t get any dinner tonight!”

 

The scene changes again, still in the same living room.

 

Taeko stands before her father, clutching on tightly to the hand of another girl beside her. “Papa, this is my girlfriend, Harumi,” she says nervously.

 

Her father looks the angriest she’s ever seen, a brilliant shade of crimson painting his features. Most unnerving is the quiet anger she hears in his voice when he speaks.

 

“So not only is my daughter a failure, but she’s also apparently a huge dyke too? Forget it, either get fixed or get out.” 

 

Taeko leaves the apartment with her head held high; but the moment she steps out, her girlfriend lets go of her hand, taking a step back.

 

“I don’t think this is going to work out,” she says flatly. 

 

Taeko is only able to blink, completely stunned by her words. “W-what?”

 

Harumi crosses her arms, leaning back against the wall to look down at Taeko. “If your father is going to be like that, I don’t think this relationship is going to last.”

 

“I think we should break up.”

 

The dream now flashes through several short memories. Taeko curled up in a small ball in an alleyway; Taeko, small and shivering, stepping into a casino for the first time; Taeko, her ruby eyes burning bright and cold, straight through any fool who may challenge her.

 

Taeko, Taeko, Taeko.

 

The dream changes to one final scene, now with the present-day Celeste  (Taeko?)  standing in the middle of it. People surround her, their nameless faces forming a sea around Celeste.

 

It’s just a dream.

 

“Taeko, I’m so proud of you, baby.” her mother surfaces in front of her, looking exactly like she did that fateful day. 

 

Her father appears, this time young and smiling and  happy . “I always knew you could do it!”

 

“Mama? Papa?” Celeste’s voice comes out as barely a whisper, soft and broken.

 

She reaches out for them, her voice growing stronger as she cries, “Don’t leave me, please!”

 

She knows how this will end.

 

Their faces blur, the prideful smiles on their faces turning into scowls of disgust.

 

“Where did my baby girl go?” her mother spits. “This  thing  in front of me is certainly not my daughter.”

 

“I knew you’d never amount to anything. I should have abandoned you on the streets the day you were born,” her father snarls.

 

It’s just a dream.

 

As one, they turn and walk away, leaving Celeste behind in the crowd. They don’t look back.

 

“Mama! Papa!” Celeste falls to her knees, gazing pleadingly at their turned backs. She begins to sob. “What did I do? Why are you leaving?  What did I do?? ” her voice cracks in despair.

 

The crowd reforms around her, obscuring her view of her parents.

 

IT’S JUST A DREAM.

 

Celeste screams as they close in around her, hands reaching out to touch her arms, her legs, her hair-

 

WAKE UP!

 

She bolts upright with a gasp, shaking profusely. Her breath is coming in harsh gulps and she makes an effort to even it out, silently counting to ten as she breathes in time with the numbers. She doesn’t realize she’s crying until tears drip down her cheeks to land on one pale, porcelain arm.

 

(The smooth surface of her arm is marred by scratches as they grab her, digging their nails in to keep her still. She screams, but no one’s there to hear.) 

 

She scrambles out of bed, in such a rush that she gets tangled up in her blankets and falls to the ground in a decidedly undignified manner. She couldn’t care less though.

 

Celeste grabs her phone, quickly punching in the familiar numbers. A quiet ringing fills the silence as she waits, tears still trickling down her face.

 

“Hello?” Kyoko’s voice is slurred by sleep, adorably confused in a way that would have made Celeste smile if she wasn’t in this current situation. She can picture exactly how the detective must look, lilac hair ruffled and rubbing the sleep out of her eyes.

 

“K-Kyoko,” Celeste’s voice wobbles more than she’d like. “Could you c-come over?”

 

“Of course,” the reply arrives immediately, the detective already sounding infinitely more awake than she had been a few moments ago. “I’m coming down the hall now, just wait a couple of minutes, alright?”

 

Celeste inhales shakily. “Talk to me. Please.”

 

“Alright. Did you know that cats don’t usually meow at each other? Meowing is a tactic designed specifically to communicate with humans. When with other cats, they communicate largely through body language.”

 

She listens absently to Kyoko’s rambling, focusing on the sound of her voice more than the actual words. 

 

“I’m outside your room now. I have the key with me, so I’ll open it myself. Don’t freak out.”

 

The door creaks open. Despite the warning, Celeste’s breath hitches, then relaxes as Kyoko steps in, gently closing the door behind her.

 

Kyoko doesn’t say anything, merely sits down and wraps Celeste in a hug, resting her chin on the latter’s head. It’s warm and comforting and reminds Celeste of how her mother would hug her when she was younger.

 

“It’s just a dream,” Kyoko repeats it to her over and over again, gently stroking the gambler’s hair.

 

I know it’s just a dream, but why does it hurt so much?

Chapter Text

[Chat: H O P E]

 

Hajime: prom night! :D

 

Hajime: whos going with who?

 

Sonia: Gundham, Souda and I are all going together!

 

Chiaki: i thought u hated souda?,,,

 

Sonia: I did, but he turned out to be surprisingly endearing once you get to know him properly

 

Chiaki: cool

 

Ibuki: IBUKI IS GOING WITH PEKO-PEKO!!!!!! 

 

Peko: Hopefully nothing will go wrong

 

Hajime: oh no

 

Peko: ?

 

Chiaki: u jinxed it

 

Chiaki: now smtg will def go wrong

 

Nagito: I’m ready!

 

Hajime: u know what? chaos is pretty normal for us alr so lets just go see what kind of chaos will occur tonight

 

Ibuki: IBUKI THINKS THAT SOUNDS VERY FUN!!!!!!

 

Hiyoko: ofc you would think that

 

Mahiru: Hiyoko, have you finished changing?

 

Hiyoko: ...no

 

Mahiru: Do you need help?

 

Hiyoko: yes pls

 

Mahiru: Alright

 

Chiaki: lets meet in our common room when were ready

 

Peko: That sounds good

 

Ibuki: SURE!!!!

 

Akane: im alr here

 

Akane: they have food

 

Nekomaru: I AM HERE TOO!!!!

 

Chiaki: well just meet u guys there then

 

Nagito: Does anyone require assistance with makeup? Sonia-san and I are already finished with ours and can help anyone who needs it!

 

Peko: Ibuki is helping me with mine

 

Peko: But thank you for offering

 

Mikan: ummm

 

Mikan: ii maaaay needd some hhhhhelp

 

Mikan: mmmy handddds won’tt sstooop shakkingggg lonnggg ennouggh ttto aplyyy ittt propperllly

 

Chiaki: arent u the ultimate nurse tho?? how do you do things like stitches if ur hands keep shaking?

 

Mikan: ttthatsss differrrrentt

 

Chiaki: how tho?????

 

Nagito: I can definitely help with that, Tsumiki-san!!!

 

Mikan: thhhanks

 

Chiaki: ig ill never get an ans




[Chat: BEST CLASS!! ☆*:.。.o(≧▽≦)o.。.:*☆]

 

Kaede: Wheres everyone?

 

Shuichi: i’m helping kokichi apply his makeup

 

Kokichi: did u know shumai does his own eyeliner every day???? ∑(O_O;)

 

Shuichi: stop moving

 

Rantaro: i mean

 

Rantaro: i do my own eyeliner too

 

Kokichi: thats kinda gay

 

Maki: Gremlin, you are gay

 

Kaede: Maki, where are you?

 

Maki: Standing at the punch bowl

 

Maki: It’s definitely spiked, btw

 

Tenko: himiko and i just entered!!!!

 

Kaede: You both look amazing!!!!!

 

Miu: oi, kayayday

 

Kaede: Miu!!!!! You look amazing too!!!!!!!

 

Kaede: Shit she fainted

 

Kokichi: from that alone? wow, you may wanna rethink ur choice of women kaebae

 

Shuichi: stop! fucking! moving!

 

Kokichi: ok ok im sorry



Maki: That’s bottom behavior right there

 

Kokichi: stfu




[Chat: BEST CLASS!! ☆*:.。.o(≧▽≦)o.。.:*☆]

 

Kaede: How did this happen?????

 

Angie: It is because you all lack Atua in your lives!

 

Angie: If you repent now, you can still be saved~

 

Kokichi: literally no one wants to join your creepy fucking cult

 

Kaede: Kokichi Ouma

 

Shuichi: i’m not saving you from this one

 

Kokichi: SHUMAIIIIIIII .。・゚゚・(>_<)・゚゚・。.

 

Kaede: How the fuck did you set the dance floor on fire

 

K1-B0: Is this how proms usually are?

 

Kaito: not rlly

 

Kaede: You ruined the prom!!!!!!

 

Maki: Speak for yourself. I enjoyed it

 

Kaede: You don’t count!!!!

 

Kaede: How the fuck did this even happen??????

 

Kaede: Oh my god the principal is going to kill me

 

Maki: No he’s not

 

Kaede: ?????

 

Miu: purple rat abortion

 

Miu: you ruined my chances of getting a dance with kayayday!

 

Kokichi: im sorry u dont have the charm to get laid

 

Shuichi: kokichi you’re already on thin ice

 

Kaede: Ugh, I cant handle this anymore

 

Kaede: Is everyone ok?

 

Tsumugi: I’m just hanging out with Rantaro in his dorm room!

 

Tenko: himiko fell asleep

 

Tenko: shes so adorable!!!!!!

 

Ryoma: See, this is why Gonta and I didn’t go

 

Rantaro: no, its because ur asocial and gonta wanted to make sure u didnt get lonely

 

Ryoma: He really is too pure for this world

 

Korekiyo: Humanity is beautiful!~

 

Rantaro: ...i have nothing to say to that

 

Kokichi: shumai im sorry!!!!! gimme my cuddles pls!!!!!!!

 

Maki: Bottom behavior

 

Kaede: Shit the principal just called me

 

Rantaro: f in the chat for kaede

 

Shuichi: f

 

Tenko: f

 

Miu: that bastard better not kill her before i even got the chance to makeout with her

 

Kokichi: ewww

 

Tsumugi: F

 

Ryoma: f

 

Maki: F

 

Kirumi: I do not know what this ‘f in the chat’ means, but I wish you luck, Akamatsu-san.

 

Kaito: f

 

Angie: This is why everyone should accept Atua!

 

Shuichi: please stop, yonaga-san

 

Kaede: IM ALIVE

 

Kokichi: gasp ヽ(°〇°)ノ

 

Kaede: Shut up, youre the one who caused this mess in the first place

 

Kirumi: What happened?

 

Rantaro: did mr. jin yell at u?

 

Kaede: Surprisingly, no. He didnt even seem mad, just kinda resigned

 

Kaede: He said that he should have expected this to happen, and the school has enough funds to repair the damage caused

 

Kaede: What did you do, Maki?????

 

Maki: Kyoko is literally the principal’s daughter

 

Kaede: Thank you so much 😭😭😭😭

 

Maki: Don’t worry about it, the whole mess was caused by my idiot gremlin of a brother, after all

 

Kokichi: >:(




[Chat: Welcome to hell]

 

Celestia: Well, that was fun

 

Makoto: the dance floor was set on fire 

 

Celestia: Like I said, fun

 

Kyoko: I got to guilt trip my father into not punishing anyone

 

Kyoko: So yeah, I’ll agree with Celeste on this one

 

Makoto: y r u guys like this

 

Sayaka: The twins are completely drunk rn

 

Sayaka: @ Leon I fucking hate you

 

Leon: spiking the punch is a staple for every party!!!

 

Sayaka: Sure, but now I have one of the twins passed out on the floor while her sister covers her in flour and shoots Nerf bullets everywhere

 

Makoto: junko is covering mukuro in flour??

 

Sayaka: Surprisingly, its the other way around

 

Leon: didnt see that one coming

 

Sayaka: Please send help

 

Aoi: sakura and i can help!

 

Sayaka: Thanks

 

Makoto: i just saw celeste remove her drills and heels 

 

Makoto: wtf shes fucking tiny

 

Kyoko: Shit, she’s probably drunk

 

Makoto: ?

 

Kyoko: If she removed her hair extensions while other people were nearby, she’s definitely at least a little tipsy

 

Kyoko: I’ll go get her, good night everyone

 

Leon: elaborate on that pls, makoto

 

Makoto: ok so

 

Makoto: dont interrupt while im typing k

 

Makoto: yknow how celeste is like 5’5

 

Makoto: apparently thats a lie

 

Makoto: shes always wearing those really tall heels that make her seem taller than she rlly is

 

Makoto: plus those drills also make her look bigger and more intimidating

 

Makoto: then she took them off

 

Makoto: and shes like 5’1

 

Sayaka: Thats pretty short

 

Leon: woah

 

Celestia: shiuhds

 

Leon: ?

 

Kyoko: Sorry, she accidentally key smashed in her sleep

 

Aoi: pics

 

Aoi: pls i want to see how small she actually is

 

Kyoko: Don’t tell her about this

 

Kyoko: sleepingceleste.png

 

Sayaka: OMG

 

Chihiro: thats adorable!

 

Makoto: she looks like a cat!

 

-Kyoko deleted one image-

 

Kyoko: This never happened, okay?

 

Aoi: my eyes have been blessed

 

Aoi: and sure!

Chapter Text

[Chat: BEST CLASS!! ☆*:.。.o(≧▽≦)o.。.:*☆]

 

Himiko: oops,,,

 

Kaede: What happened?

 

Himiko: um

 

Himiko: magic spell gone wrong

 

Himiko: so some of the students may be animals now

 

Himiko: tenko is a ringtailed lemur

 

Kaede: What the fuck

 

Himiko: she makes a very cute raccoon

 

Kaede: That’s-

 

Kaede: This issue isnt whether shes cute or not!

 

Kaede: The issue is that some of our classmates are animals!!!!!!!!!!

 

Himiko: oh it isnt just limited to our class

 

Kaede: Can you undo it?

 

Himiko: no, but itll wear off in a few hours i think

 

Kaede: Ugh. @Everyone who’s not an animal?

 

Kirumi: Oh, so that’s why there are more animals than usual around the dorms.

 

Shuichi: i’m here…

 

Shuichi: kokichi is a lion cub and he’s causing absolute chaos

 

Korekiyo: How disappointing. I wished to experience Yumeno-san’s magic for myself, but it seems it was not meant to be

 

K1-B0: I do not think Yumeno’s magic would work on me.

 

K1-B0: Miu is a rabbit, by the way

 

Gonta: Gonta is not an animal!

 

Rantaro: im here too

 

Kaede: Alright, now lets take attendance for the humans-turned-animals

 

Kaede: So Kokichi is a lion cub and Miu is a rabbit

 

Kirumi: I have a few animals with me right now. I’m guessing Shirogane-san is the blue fox and Momota-kun is the purple wolf, but I don’t know who the deer and the cat are.

 

Kaede: Okay, Tsumugi is a fox, Kaitos a wolf, and there are two others who arent determined yet

 

Gonta: Ryoma-kun is with Gonta! He’s an orange and black cat!

 

Kaede: Thanks, Gonta. Keep an eye on him, ok?

 

Gonta: Akamatsu-san no need to worry! Ryoma-kun is taking a nap!

 

Kaede: So the deer and the cat must be Angie and Maki then

 

Kirumi: I am guessing the cat is Harukawa-san, as she just smacked Momota-kun in the face.

 

Rantaro: even as a cat, shes still salty

 

Kaede: Himiko said the other classes are also affected, so Ill go message the other class reps to tell them

 

Kaede: And now Maki cant get me out of trouble since shes a cat. Great




[Chat: Welcome to hell]

 

Kyoko: I wake up to find that my girlfriend has somehow turned into a ferret overnight

 

Kyoko: What the fuck happened

 

Makoto: ???????

 

Makoto: shit, akamatsu-san just msged me. apparently one of her classmates messed up on a spell and turned multiple students into animals

 

Leon: woah, cool

 

Makoto: not cool!!! its not cool at all!!!!

 

Kyoko: Awww, she’s really cuddly

 

Makoto: who else is an animal??

 

Junko: u do know that if theyre animals, they wont b able to respond, rite?

 

Makoto: fuck

 

Makoto: uhhhh

 

Makoto: ok just msg if u know if someones been turned into an animal

 

Chihiro: taka told me mondo is a hyena now

 

Mukuro: Sayaka is a cat

 

Sakura: I found a beaver in Hina’s room, so I think it’s safe to assume that Hina is the beaver

 

Byakuya: Plebeians

 

Makoto: shut up

 

Leon: guys theres a horse in the garden

 

Leon: oh wait its yasuhiro

 

Leon: hes still got that classic hairstyle

 

Makoto: ok so everyones accounted for except toko and hifumi

 

-Chihiro added Komaru to the chat-

 

Komaru: hey big bro! hey big bros classmates!

 

Komaru: tokis w/ me, shes a cat too

 

Sakura: Yamada is asleep in his room

 

Makoto: ig everyones accounted for now

 

Makoto: akamatsu said the spell would wear off in a few hours

 

Komaru: awww, but toko makes such a cute cat :(

 

Makoto: until then, just keep an eye on the animals

 

Makoto: oh, plus the pets of the ppl who own them

 

Kyoko: ferretceleste.png

 

Komaru: omg shes adorable

 

Kyoko: Right?

 

Makoto: guys pls




[Chat: H O P E]

 

Hajime: as im sure u all know, some of our classmates have been turned into animals by yumeno-sans spell gone wrong

 

Hajime: so now i need to know whos an animal

 

Hajime: chiaki is a very small cat and nagito is an arctic fox

 

Sonia: Gundham is a hamster! And Souda is a ferret!

 

Mahiru: Hiyoko is an extremely bitey chihuahua. I suggest you all do not try to pet her

 

Hajime: noted. anyone else?

 

Peko: I may require assistance. I am stuck looking after several animals, including Fuyuhiko, a tiger, Ibuki, a cat(??), Nidai-kun, a very big lion who I am struggling to contain and Owari-san, a bear, who’s eating all the food in the kitchen

 

Hajime: oh. ultimate impostor, u there?

 

Impostor: I am

 

Hajime: could u help pekoyama-san pls

 

Impostor: Sure

 

Peko: Oh, I just noticed that Tsumiki-san is here too. She’s a rabbit

 

Hajime: teruteru?

 

Sonia: I found a pig in the kitchen wearing a chef’s hat

 

Hajime: thats everyone then. pls make sure the animals dont destroy the place

 

Peko: No promises




[Chat: BEST CLASS!! ☆*:.。.o(≧▽≦)o.。.:*☆]

 

Kaede: hELP

 

Rantaro: whats wrong?

 

Kaede: Kokichi and Maki keep pulling pranks on us

 

Kaede: They are a terrifying duo

 

Rantaro: i c what u mean. harukawa just made me have a heart attack by hiding under the sink and looking out with only her eyes visible

 

Kaede: Right? And its even scarier now because she blends into the dark with her black fur and her eyes actually glow

 

Kirumi: Ouma-kun managed to trap Momota-kun with string.

 

Kirumi: I am working to cut the string to free him, but I need someone to watch the others, please.

 

Shuichi: i can do it. i’m pretty sure kokichi is hiding somewhere in the common room, anyways

 

Kaede: Fuck, Maki just escaped out the window

 

Rantaro: not good

 

Kaede: Shes too fast, I lost her

 

Shuichi: maybe try luring her out with food?

 

Kaede: I just said I lost her

 

Kaede: As in, I dont know where she is

 

Kaede: Not that she wont come out of a hiding place

 

Shuichi: oh. sorry

 

Kaede: No its fine. Sorry for snapping at you, Im just stressed

 

Rantaro: at least it isnt as bad as the 77th class. owari-senpai apparently ate their whole stock of food

 

Kaede: Rantaro you fucking idiot

 

Kaede: You fucking jinxed it

 

Shuichi: guys...the kitchen is on fire

 

Kaede: RANTARO

Chapter Text

[Chat: BEST CLASS!! ☆*:.。.o(≧▽≦)o.。.:*☆]

 

Kaede: Alright, the fire has been put out. Now to find Maki

 

Rantaro: check the school grounds. she usually likes to hang out there near the trees

 

Kaede: Will do

 

Kaede: Shit shit fuck shit

 

Shuichi: what’s wrong?

 

Kaede: Alrihttgt ime  tyoing whiole runnigng

 

Kaede: I jusht spotted a kijdd runnuign away wihtth Makiji andd twon othertr animals

 

Rantaro: not good not good

 

Kaede: I enabled autocorrect now

 

Kaede: I NEED HELP

 

Kaede: Maki and co. are clearly very angry

 

Kaede: And while I dont want to see the kid get hurt by them, I also want to hit him over the head for running away with them in the first place

 

Kirumi: I am afraid that I am currently occupied with making sure our other classmates don’t escape.

 

Shuichi: i’ll contact the 78th class. they seem to have the least number of classmates who were transformed

 

Kaede: Pls hurry




[Chat: Welcome to hell]

 

-Chihiro added Shuichi into the chat-

 

Shuichi: thank you, fujisaki-san

 

Shuichi: we require help

 

Shuichi: a kid has been spotted on the school grounds kidnapping some of our classmates

 

Shuichi: harukawa-san has been taken, as well as another cat and a ferret

 

Kyoko: FUCK

 

Makoto: kyoko??

 

Kyoko: He took Celeste

 

Kyoko: She’s missing

 

Komaru: i think the other cat may be toko D:

 

Shuichi: kaede says she turned her location tracking on. the 79th class is currently occupied, so i needed to reach out for help

 

Kyoko: I’m already gone

 

Sakura: I can take care of our remaining classmates, the rest of you should go

 

Leon: aight

 

Mukuro: Take care of Sayaka please

 

Junko: sis just nyoooomed out of the room. what happened?

 

Junko: oic. i cant run fast but gl!

 

Shuichi: thank you 




[Chat: BEST CLASS!! ☆*:.。.o(≧▽≦)o.。.:*☆]

 

Kaede: We caught him!

 

Kaede: The little bastard didnt even apologise, even when we told him the animals were our classmates. He was just mad he didnt get to keep them as pets wtf >:(

 

Rantaro: at least you got them back safely

 

Kaede: Yeah, though they seem rather traumatised

 

Kaede: Celeste-san practically sprinted over to Kirigiri-san

 

Rantaro: damn

 

Shuichi: harukawa-san has escaped to the ceiling

 

Kaede: Just make sure all the windows and doors are closed

 

Kirumi: Shinguji-kun, do you have any knowledge of what the different animals eat?

 

Korekiyo: Kekekeke, indeed I do. What animals are present at this moment?

 

Kaede: Uhhh

 

Kaede: Two cats (Maki and Ryoma), a fox (Tsumugi), a rabbit (Miu), a wolf (Kaito), a lion cub (Kokichi), a deer (Angie) and a ringtailed lemur (Tenko)

 

Korekiyo: Alright, I will come down to the kitchen to help prepare some food

 

Kirumi: Thank you.

 

Korekiyo: I assume that I should not prepare bugs as part of their meal?

 

Kaede: I dont think theyll be very pleased to hear that they ate bugs

 

Gonta: Bugs are friends! D:

 

Korekiyo: I shall substitute them with berries instead, then

 

Kaede: Sounds good




[Chat: H O P E]

 

Peko: I heard that some of the animals got kidnapped earlier?

 

Hajime: yeah. celeste-san, fukawa-san and harukawa-san

 

Hajime: luckily they were safely retrieved

 

Peko: That’s good to hear. Also, it turns out that Ibuki is not a cat, but a dog that I mistook for a cat due to her hairstyle

 

Mahiru: Hiyoko is trying to bite Mikan, what should I do??

 

Hajime: Maybe try spraying her with water to dissuade her

 

Mahiru: Anyone have a small spray bottle?

 

Impostor: I saw one in the kitchen earlier. I was considering using it on Nidai-kun and Owari-san but they didn’t seem bothered by water

 

Mahiru: Alright

 

Hajime: chiakilyingontopofnagitowhilebothsleep.png

 

Hajime: theyre too cute…

 

Peko: For once, I have animals who are not scared of me. I am enjoying myself

 

Sonia: I, too, am enjoying myself! Souda and Gundham make the most adorable animals!

 

Mahiru: Guys, do you know who’s the black cat that just appeared

 

Mahiru: The doors are all locked, how did they even get in??

 

Hajime: i think thats harukawa-san. akamatsu-san mentioned that she was quite the escape artist, which is how she nearly got kidnapped

 

Peko: I imagined that Ouma-kun would be the one doing the escaping

 

Hajime: he seems too attached to saihara-kun to do that

 

Mahiru: What should we do about her?

 

Hajime: i messaged akamatsu-san. she said to keep harukawa-san here while she comes over

 

Peko: Maki just curled up on my lap

 

Mahiru: I need to take a picture of that

 

Mahiru: makisittingonpekoslap.png

 

Mahiru: So cute!

 

Hajime: akamatsu-san just arrived

 

Peko: So apparently Maki was able to sense Akamatsu-san’s presence and has fled the vicinity

 

Hajime: godammit




[Chat: Welcome to hell]

 

Makoto: hey so i just saw harukawa-san enter our dorm rooms

 

Shuichi: oh, so that’s where she is. i’ll go tell kaede

 

Shuichi: please close all the doors and windows. she’s already escaped multiple times

 

Kyoko: She’s in my dorm room

 

Kyoko: She just curled up beside Celeste and I

 

Kyoko: I think she’s asleep

 

Shuichi: i told kaede, and she says to just keep harukawa-san in your room, since she keeps evading kaede

 

Kyoko: Alright. The two of them are very cute, anyways

 

Komaru: mood

 

Shuichi: and yumeno-san says that the spell will wear off in another hour

 

Leon: thank god

 

Leon: yasuhiro may be cool as a horse, but he keeps accidentally breaking things

 

Shuichi: i’ll take my leave now

 

-Shuichi has left the chat-

 

Makoto: komaru, u shld leave 2

 

Komaru: nah

 

Makoto: chihiro, could u remove her?

 

Chihiro: i could

 

Chihiro: but its fun to have her here so im not gonna

 

Makoto: betrayal

Chapter Text

[Chat: BEST CLASS!! ☆*:.。.o(≧▽≦)o.。.:*☆]

 

Maki: I am so glad to be human again

 

Miu: yeah, how would i bless the world with my genius mind if i was a fucking rabbit??

 

Kokichi: himi-chan, pls turn the cum dumpster back into a rabbit ( ̄ヘ ̄)

 

Tsumugi: That was fun! It was like something out of a fanfiction!

 

Maki: ...Fanfiction?

 

Gonta: Help! D:

 

Gonta: Gonta accidentally swallow bug friend!!!!!! DDDD:

 

Kaede: Oh no! How?

 

Gonta: Gonta was trying to kiss bug friend but accidentally swallowed it!

 

Kokichi: omg thats fucking dumb

 

Kirumi: I am afraid that if you swallowed it, the bug would probably be dead by now. Was it a poisonous bug?

 

Gonta: No

 

Kaede: Aw, dont be sad, Gonta. We can have a funeral for it if you want?

 

Maki: Gremlin, not another word

 

Gonta: Gonta thinks that would be nice :’(

 

Kaede: Alright, everyone down in the common room in ten minutes, were having a funeral for Gonta’s bug

 

Angie: Angie can sing a hymn!

 

Rantaro: ill get some flowers from my greenhouse

 

Kirumi: I could bake a cake?

 

Kaede: No, yes and yes. Angie, you can sing if it isnt something related to Atua

 

Angie: Maybe one day you all will accept Atua into your hearts

 

Kokichi: never (`ー´)

 

Maki: Lemme just inform Celeste, since we were planning to have tea today

 

Korekiyo: This will be the first time I am attending a funeral for a bug. I look forward to it

 

Kokichi: weirdo

 

Shuichi: um

 

Shuichi: i'm actually busy solving a case right now so i might not be able to attend

 

Shuichi: sorry

 

Gonta: No worries! Gonta is already very happy that friends help plan funeral for bug!

 

Shuichi: i’ll drop by later if i can

 

Kirumi: What kind of cake would you prefer?

 

Gonta: Gonta likes strawberry :)

 

Kirumi: Alright




[Chat: Dysfunctional family]

 

Maki: Kichi and I won’t be able to have tea with you today

 

Maki: We’re attending a funeral for one of our classmate’s pet bugs

 

Kokichi: do i haaaaaave to

 

Maki: Yes, shut up

 

Celestia: I see. Give my condolences to your classmate

 

Maki: Will do

 

Celestia: In that case, do the two of you want to come over? @Kotoko @Nagisa 

 

Nagisa: I’m busy studying 

 

Kotoko: come onnnnnn, nagi-chan!!! u cant keep studying sm!!

 

Nagisa: No, sorry

 

Nagisa: I already promised Jataro I’d help tutor him, anyways

 

Celestia: Well then, Kotoko, it seems like you will have Kyoko and I to yourself today

 

Kotoko: \(≧▽≦)/

 

Kotoko: can i see ur cat??

 

Celestia: Of course. Kyoko, dear, could you go fetch Kotoko?

 

Kyoko: Sure

 

Kotoko: lets go shopping!!!!!!!

 

Celestia: Do you want to see my cat first or shall we go directly to the mall?

 

Kotoko: cat, then mall

 

-

 

“Ooh, can I get this?” Kotoko asked, clutching the pink purse she had found to her chest.

 

“Of course, darling. Is there anything else you want from this store before we move on?” Celeste said, absent-mindedly counting out the money to pay for Kotoko’s purse.

 

Kotoko shook her head. “Nope! But after this, can we check out the pet shop?”

 

Kyoko watched her girlfriend and their adopted daughter with a fond smile on her face, noting that Celeste seemed oddly excited for some reason. Then again, it was Celeste.




“Kyoko, dear, isn’t this one most adorable?” 

 

Kyoko glanced over to where Celeste was pointing. Sitting in the cage near the window was a pretty white kitten with pink eyes, which Kotoko was currently fawning over.

 

“The sign says she’s albino,” Kyoko mused. “That’s pretty rare in cats.”

 

“Then I suppose that means that this little one is special.”

 

The detective immediately understood what her girlfriend was hinting at, glancing at Kotoko before asking, “Do you think she’s responsible enough?”

 

Celeste sighed. “Kyoko, sweetheart, if she isn’t able to take care of it, I can always step in for her. You know that.”

 

“I suppose I do. I assume that you’ll be buying the cat right now?”

 

Celeste shot her a playful smile. “Why, you know me so well, my darling detective!”




“Oh. My. God. You are just the most adorable little kitty, aren’t you?” Kotoko squealed, poking her finger into the cat carrier.

 

“Kotoko, dear, don’t stick your finger in the cage, please,” Celeste said, gently pulling Kotoko’s hand away. “Now, we have to finish setting up the kitty’s stuff first before we can let the kitty out. Where do you want to place the food and water bowls?” 

 

Kotoko hummed, putting a finger to her mouth. “Beside my cupboard?”

 

“That sounds good,” Celeste nodded. “What about the bed?”

 

“Can’t the kitty just sleep on my bed?” Kotoko asked.

 

“But you might accidentally roll over her in your sleep and we don’t want that happening, do we?”

 

Kotoko gasped, her eyes going comically wide. “No! Kitty needs to live a loooooooong life with me!”

 

“How about at the foot of your bed instead, hmm?” Celeste suggested.

 

“Sounds good!”

 

Kyoko really did love their little dysfunctional family.




(And of course, Kotoko bragged shamelessly about her new kitten - named Luna, after the one Harry Potter character - to her friends, prompting them to ask their respective adoptive parents for their own pets. This was how Monaca ended up with several large black tarantulas in her room, and why no one would enter the Lil’ Ultimates’ dorm anymore.)

 

[Chat: Welcome to hell]

 

Leon: WHAT THE FUCK

 

Leon: i go to the dorms to visit my son and find these humongous spiders in their common room

 

Celestia: Actually, they’re tarantulas

 

Leon: WHY r there tarantulas???????

 

Junko: i bought them for my daughter monaca!!!!

 

Junko: arent they simply despairful?

 

Leon: GET THEM OUT

 

Junko: no can do. monaca likes them so u cant throw them out

 

Sayaka: Whered you even get them from?

 

Junko: oh, one of the underclassmen. he rears them for his ultimate talent

 

Junko: another one of his classmates apparently also likes his spiders and keeps them as pets now 2

 

Makoto: welp. im never going to the 79th dorms again




[Chat: BEST CLASS!! ☆*:.。.o(≧▽≦)o.。.:*☆]

 

Kaede: THERE ARE SPIDERS IN THE KITCHEN

 

Kirumi: Apologies, those are my pets.

 

Rantaro: u like spiders?

 

Kirumi: Indeed. I also enjoy collecting their webs to use.

 

Kaede: bYE

Chapter Text

Danganronpa child  headcannons

Shuichi

-Much more outgoing and excitable than usual

-Unable to focus for too long on one task, may have ADHD

-Hc that he only started being more shy after he became a detective and started having to deal with more aggressive people

-Just?? The cutest??? He’s just trying his best, be nice

 

Kaede

-Personality is pretty similar to her usual self, though she’s a bit meaner

-Like, she’s not an outright bully, but she won’t be going out of her way to help people 

 

Kokichi

-Shy and introverted, basically like Shuichi’s usual personality

-Social anxiety, fear of adults, trust issues, depression, etc. Just- so many issues

-At this point, he’s alone in the orphanage since Maki hasn’t arrived yet. So he gets bullied a lot by the bigger kids

-Very sweet, likes to help people

 

Kaito

-Your classic playground bully but with good (if flawed) intentions

-Anger issues

-Picks on Kokichi a lot, and will bully the others too if he thinks they’re too weak

-He was spoiled by his grandparents a lot, and didn’t really learn what was socially acceptable until later on. So when he bullies the other kids, he’s actually just mad they won’t stand up for themselves, and is trying to build them up. It doesn’t actually work

 

Maki

-Emotional

-So many emotions, what do I do with them

-Cries a lot over small things, but will try to stick up for her friends if they need her. She’s very strong for her size

-She was raised by poor parents, so of course she was bullied in school, developing a very timid personality due to this. 

-Her personality changed after her parents died, and she had to learn to fend for herself (but since she’s only five, she hasn’t reached that point yet and is thus still a crybaby)

 

Tenko

-ANGER ISSUES X 2

-Extremely energetic, you literally can’t get her to stay still for more than two seconds (again, possible ADHD?)

-Hasn’t begun her training yet, so still tolerates males. Somehow can sense any lesbians in a ten-foot radius

-Can’t have sugar due to her hyperactiveness

 

Himiko

-Sleepy girl

-Didn’t change much

-She falls asleep everywhere. In her food, while she’s walking, when she’s holding a conversation, literally anywhere there’s space

-Has the cutest fuzzy cat hoodie

 

Angie

-Cheerful and optimistic

-Loves her friends (and her art)

-The cult hasn’t corrupted her mind yet. She does still believe in Atua, but not as aggressively as she does in-game

-Just wants to see everyone happy :)

 

Rantaro

-A V O C A D O

-He’s that one friend who no one knows how he got there, but he just is

-Kinda chill

-Not very responsible (he literally lost all 12 of his sisters in different countries. How the fuck did he manage to do that???)

 

Kirumi

-Not as subservient 

-Other than that, pretty much the same. She likes to please people, so she’ll do things to make them happy, not just because they ask her to

-Genuinely cares for everyone

-The most responsible

 

Ryoma

-Has the will to live??? Gasp

-Cats are life

-Like Rantaro, he’s just kinda chilling there

 

Korekiyo

-Not creepily obsessed with people, just awkward due to lack of social interaction

-He can see spirits

-Pretty good friends with the more introverted kids, such as Maki, Kokichi and Miu

-His sister was really in the hospital when he was younger, except they never did- that. After she died, her spirit continued to follow him around, so his younger self just converses with her throughout this fic

 

Miu

-Like Kokichi, she’s very introverted due to the bullies

-She fidgets a lot. She likes carrying little gadgets around so that she can fiddle with them if she feels like it

-She’s incredibly smart, and gets bullied because of it

-Prefers hanging out with Kokichi rather than Korekiyo or Maki, due to their similar traits. Also, she doesn’t know how to talk with Kiyo (because he’s perfectly fine just standing there in silence) and also doesn’t know how to deal with Maki’s frequent crying

 

K1-B0

-He doesn’t exist :)

 

Gonta

-Wild child

-Doesn’t know how to talk

-Feral

-Might actually have rabies

 

Tsumugi

-Weeb

-Weeb

-Seriously, the biggest fucking weeb you will ever find

-She’s the same though

 

[Chat: BEST CLASS!! ☆*:.。.o(≧▽≦)o.。.:*☆]

 

Kokichi: what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck

 

Shuichi: what happened?

 

Kokichi: my sister is fucking crazy \(º □ º l|l)/

 

Kokichi: i tried to prank her by putting salt in her coffee instead of sugar and she just drank the whole thing in one shot while maintaining eye contact

 

Kokichi: then she told me it was great and she wanted more

 

Kaede: How much salt did you put????

 

Kokichi: idk like the whole thing

 

Kaede: What the fuck

 

Kaede: @Maki how are you still alive?????

 

Maki: Bitch, I grew up dirt poor for the first 6 years of my life; lived on the streets for nearly a year after my parents died; stayed in an orphanage where the caretakers were neglectful as fuck and didn’t provide enough food for the >100 kids there; and spent the last few years of my life working for a fucking assassination organisation. You really think I’m going to be fazed by a little bit of salt?

 

Kokichi: huh? we had enough food at the orphanage tho?

 

Maki: Ha.

 

Maki: That’s because I willingly gave up my food so that the rest of you would have a little bit more to eat

 

Shuichi: i- 

 

Rantaro: this escalated really fucking quickly

 

-Maki deleted three messages-

 

Maki: I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to do that. I’m just really tired

 

Kirumi: Maybe you should go to bed.

 

Maki: ...Yeah you know what, I’ll do that

 

Kokichi: im sorry for earlier

 

Maki: It’s fine, it was mostly my fault anyways. Want to come over?

 

Kokichi: yeah okie („• ֊ •„)

 

Kaede: Those two can be surprisingly soft sometimes

 

Rantaro: just dont let them hear u

 

Miu: hey bitchasses

 

Miu: look what i found

 

Miu: waterbottle.png

 

Himiko: nyeh,,,thats mine

 

Miu: its mine now

 

Himiko: dont touch it

 

Miu: why?

 

Kaede: Miu, just give Himiko her bottle back

 

Tenko: before tenko drop-kicks you!

 

Miu: uh i accidentally droppe

 

-

 

“How the fuck did this even happen,” Kyoko deadpanned, staring at the room full of children.

 

Makoto, in contrast, looked distraught, trying to manage several children at once. “I don’t know! I just came in here to get something from Akamatsu-san and found them like this!”

 

Celeste blinked, placing a hand over her mouth. “Oh dear.”

 

“‘Oh dear’ is about right! This is simply despairful!” Junko cackled maniacally.

 

“Do you know where Maki and Kokichi are?” Kyoko interrupted Junko’s ramblings about ‘the sweet sweet despair’.

 

Makoto lunged, barely stopping a tiny Tenko (who immediately punched him in the face) from knocking over a vase. “Uhhhh...I think they were with Shinguji-kun and Iruma-san upstairs?”

 

Celeste and Kyoko immediately headed up the stairs, ignoring Makoto’s cries for help.

 

“So...I’ll be leaving now.” Leon strolled out the door, hands held behind his head.

 

“What’s your name?” Hina asked, picking up tiny Tenko, who was reaching towards the vase again.

 

“Tenko!” she cheered excitedly, before pointing towards Sakura, then back at Hina. “Lesbians!”

 

Sakura chuckled. “Seems like this little one has an excellent gaydar.”






“Kokichi! Maki!” Celeste called, stepping daintily down the hallway.

 

“S-stop it!” A high-pitched voice suddenly cried.

 

Celeste and Kyoko exchanged a worried glance, before looking around the corner.

 

Maki was standing in front of Kokichi, tears streaming down her face as she confronted Kaito. Kokichi was slumped against the wall, holding a bruised cheek while Miu and Kiyo tried to comfort him (more successfully on Miu’s part since Kiyo was so fucking awkward).

 

“Huh?” Kaito tilted his head to the side, punching his palm. “C’mon, Maki-roll, I’m just trying to help! See, he won’t even stand up for himself!”

 

“What’s going on here?” Celeste’s voice was as cold as ice when she interjected.

 

Kaito grinned at her. “I was just helping Kokichi to build up self-confidence!”

 

“Get out.”

 

“But-”

 

“Get. Out.”

 

Kaito fled the room. Celeste knelt beside Kokichi, tilting his head up to get a better look at his face.

 

“Do you know who I am?” she asked gently, her voice a stark contrast from how she had addressed Kaito.

 

Kokichi sniffed. “I-i think so?”

 

Behind her, Kyoko took out a packet of tissues, wiping away Maki’s tears. The small girl clung to her tightly, wrapping her legs around Kyoko’s waist like a koala.

 

“Alright then. You two, follow us,” Celeste instructed Miu and Kiyo, who were both awkwardly standing around at this point.

 

“Celeste, please tell me you’re not going to do what I think you’re going to do.”

 

“Kyoko, we’re adopting these kids.”

 

“...I don’t know why I even try anymore.”




“Angie, please stop drawing on Himiko’s face- Rantaro, Ryoma, why didn’t you stop her?” Makoto looked just about ready to drop dead on his feet.

 

“Couldn’t be bothered.”

 

“I thought it looked fun.”

 

“Don’t worry! Angie used non-toxic paint! It will wash off when Himiko takes a shower,” Angie proclaimed cheerfully.

 

“Gonta, no!”




“So...we’re adopting Tenko, right?”

 

“Of course.”




“I wanna watch Kimetsu no Yaiba!” 

 

“But I wanna watch Boku no Hero Academia!”

 

“No, Shingeki no Kyojin is the best!”

 

“Oh, you’re right. Play Shingeki no Kyojin, blueberry lady!”

 

“You guys are like five. Why are you watching M18+ shows?” Sayaka groaned.

 

Junko hadn’t stopped cackling. “Let them watch it! It’ll teach them exactly how twisted the world is!”

 

“No! We’re going to watch something appropriate.”

 

The kids - Kaede, Shuichi, and Tsumugi - all groaned in unison. “But we wanna watch Shingeki no Kyojin!” Kaede whined. 

 

“And I said no! I’m the adult here!”

 

The trio glanced at each other, then back at Sayaka, before pouncing on her like cats.

 

“Shingeki no Kyojin!”

 

“Play it, blueberry lady!”

 

“Or else!”

 

Junko just stood back, watching Sayaka get overwhelmed by toddlers with a wide grin on her face.

 

“How utterly despairful!”




Mukuro stared at the child sitting obediently in front of her. “Huh. It seems I got the easy one,” she mused to herself.

 

“What do you want to do?” she said aloud.

 

Kirumi stared at her for a moment, before magically producing a cup of water from behind her back, offering it to Mukuro. “You look thirsty.”

 

“Uh, thanks?” Mukuro took the glass, downing it in one gulp. “So...is there anything else you want to do besides give me water?”

 

“Yes. I wanted to tell you that Gokuhara-kun is climbing the building right outside this window.”

 

“What the fuck-”




“Celeste, why do you do this?” 

 

Celeste glanced over from where she had been talking to Kiyo (who was incidentally telling her about his sister’s spirit). “Whatever do you mean?”

 

Leon gestured vaguely at her. “I left not more than ten minutes ago, returned, and found that you have adopted two more children??”

 

Celeste scowled at him. “They’re both traumatized as fuck, did you really think I would see them and not adopt them immediately?”

 

“Fair point.”

Chapter Text

[Chat: BEST CLASS!! ☆*:.。.o(≧▽≦)o.。.:*☆]

 

Miu: well, im never touching himikos stuff again

 

Himiko: wise choice

 

Kaito: why do i vaguely remember being terrified of celeste?

 

Shuichi: that would be because your younger self was bullying kokichi and she had to step in

 

Shuichi: or so i’ve heard. i don’t remember much

 

Korekiyo: Does Celeste-san make a habit out of adopting children randomly?...

 

Miu: never seen the creep this confused

 

Maki: Yes but also no

 

Maki: She only spontaneously adopts children if she thinks they look traumatised, lack good parental figures in their lives and are traumatised

 

Shuichi: you said traumatised twice

 

Maki: Yes, I noticed

 

Kokichi: trauma is a very important criteria of being one of celes children (* ^ ω ^)

 

Korekiyo: ...I see

 

Korekiyo: I will have to remove myself for a few hours to think upon this

 

Miu: im pretty confused too but ill roll with it

 

Maki: Good choice

 

Maki: Also, Yonaga-san, she’s thinking about adopting you next

 

Angie: But Angie is not traumatised?

 

Maki: Hmm

 

Tenko: tenko was adopted by two lesbians!!! best day ever!!!!!!




[Chat: Dysfunctional family]

 

-Kyoko added Korekiyo and 1 other into the chat-

 

Maki: Welcome to the chaos that we call a family 

 

Korekiyo: Greetings. I am admittedly still rather confused over this entire situation, but less so compared to an hour ago

 

Celeste: Good

 

Kokichi: nicknaming time!!!!! ヽ(・∀・)ノ

 

Miu: what the fuck is nicknaming time

 

Maki: We all have little nicknames we call each other. Gremlin here is just saying that he’s going to come up with yours

 

Kokichi: yep! maki is makiroll, kotoko is koko, nagisa is nagi-chan, and im either kichi or gremlin, depending on what mood makiroll is in

 

Korekiyo: I see. You may just call me Kiyo, if you so wish

 

Kotoko: OwO???? new siblings?????

 

Kokichi: yep! uwu

 

Miu: that is cursed. never do it again

 

Maki: Don’t bother

 

Celeste: Miu’s name is already pretty short though

 

Korekiyo: It does still possess two syllables, however

 

Kokichi: ive got it! her new nickname will be bitch

 

Miu: tf????

 

Maki: Sounds good

 

Kotoko: nice

 

Miu: y is everyone just going along with this???

 

Kokichi: because ur a bitch

 

Celeste: Now now, Kichi, she just acts this way because of the ✨T R A U M A✨

 

Kokichi: ...cant argue with that

 

Miu: i meant to ask, y do u wanna adopt that cult leader? she looks fine to me

 

Celeste: You mean Yonaga? Well, I’m pretty sure brainwashing a child to devote themself completely to a god who demands monthly blood sacrifices, verbally abusing them when they questioned their beliefs and threatening all sorts of gruesome punishments if they dared to rebel would be considered incredibly traumatising, wouldn’t you?

 

Miu: ...now that i consider it, thats horribly messed up

 

Maki: Exactly why Celeste wants to adopt her

 

Korekiyo: Everything suddenly makes a lot more sense now




[Chat: BEST CLASS!! ☆*:.。.o(≧▽≦)o.。.:*☆]

 

Kaede: Might need some assistance over here

 

Kaede: Pretty sure our classmates are about to commit another murder

 

Kirumi: Oh dear. What happened this time?

 

Kaede: To be fair, they have a very good reason for attacking this dude. If I didnt want them to possibly go to jail for murder (since I dont have enough money for the bail), I would totally join them

 

Kaede: Ok so this guy was kinda hating on Hoshi-kun, saying he didn’t deserve a place in Hopes Peak. You know, the usual. But then he started making comments about Hoshi-kuns time in prison and how an ex-offender shouldn’t be attending a prestigious place like Hopes Peak, and how he bets that Hoshi-kun doesnt have any friends

 

Kaede: Hoshi-kun just shut down, and it happened that a few of our other classmates (including myself) were walking by and heard what happened so now I am trying to make sure they dont actually kill him 

 

Rantaro: thats probably a lost cause. he might testify against u in court if he lives, and our friends will go to jail anyways. better to just commit a clean murder

 

Kaede: Good point. Alright, tell Fujisaki-senpai that theyll need to wipe all incriminating evidence from the cameras again

 

Rantaro: will do

 

Kirumi: Inform me when you’re done, please. I will help clean up.

 

Kaede: Sure. Oh and Gonta? We may need your help disposing of the body later

 

Gonta: Gonta will help! Bad guy no hurt Gonta’s friends >:(

 

Korekiyo: So this is what fighting with your siblings is like. Fascinating

 

Rantaro: you fought maki? or kokichi?

 

Miu: hey, i exist too yknow

 

Korekiyo: I am afraid you misunderstood. I was fighting alongside them in killing the person who insulted Hoshi-kun

 

Rantaro: that makes a lot more sense

 

Kokichi: kiyo-chan was soooooo cool! he was like ‘i am afraid its time 4 u to die’ all scary-looking and shit, and the guy was like ‘ahhhhhhhhh no pls dont hurt me’ and kiyo-chan was like ‘too late’ and the guy totally wet his pants! it was amazing!!!!!! 。゚( ゚^∀^゚)゚。

 

Kaede: It was pretty cool

 

Korekiyo: Thank you

 

Tsumugi: This fanfiction is crazy. I doubt the author knows what she’s writing either

 

Kaede: Huh?

 

Maki: Wdym ‘fanfiction’?

 

Tsumugi: Don’t worry about it




[Chat: Welcome to hell]

 

Makoto: celes, how do u somehow have even more children now?

 

Junko: LMAO, Makoto sounds so done with life

 

Celeste: Hopefully I’ll have another one by the time this week is over

 

Makoto: pls stop, i keep finding them everywhere in our dorms and its vaguely concerning at this point

 

Leon: hes right. if i come down to the common room at night to find harukawa staring at me one more time, im leaving

 

Celeste: Hmm...I was contemplating of buying over one of the unused dorm buildings for my kids, Kyoko and I

 

Leon: if it means i stop getting these nightmare fuels, pls do it

 

Sayaka: Can you even do that?

 

Makoto: i dont think so

 

Celeste: It has been done. The second block to the right is now ours

 

Makoto: i stand corrected

 

Kyoko: Cool. I’ll go tell the kids

 

Kyoko: When will we move over?

 

Celeste: We can do that over the weekend

 

Chihiro: just wanted to inform yall that the 79th class committed another murder and have asked me to wipe the security cams again

 

Makoto: they what?????

Chapter Text

“Bitch! Where do you want this box?”

 

“I don’t know, just put it somewhere that has space, I guess??”

 

“Whose snake is this?!”

 

Shouts of varying degrees rang out inside the new dorm area. Despite this, the atmosphere was light and cheerful, the yells more playful banter than actual arguments.

 

Kyoko set down a heavy box, wiping sweat off her forehead. She wasn’t physically unfit by any means - and certainly more so than her girlfriend - but lifting boxes for nearly two hours now had taken a toll on her body.

 

“Need some help?” Maki’s quiet voice offered, prompting Kyoko to straighten up to face her, not having heard her enter. Maki was carrying at least three boxes at once, making Kyoko feel incredibly weak in comparison.

 

“No, it’s fine. You look like you have your hands pretty full already,” Kyoko responded, hefting the box back into her hands.

 

The two worked side-by-side in silence, only talking when they needed to ask the other for something.

 

“Why did you guys adopt me?” Maki suddenly asked, shifting her crimson gaze from the boxes to Kyoko.

 

Kyoko blinked at her, taking a moment to think it through, before replying simply, “You needed it.”

 

Maki looked momentarily frustrated at her cryptic answer but quickly schooled her features back into her normal impassive expression, accepting Kyoko’s response with a nod.

 

“We should hang out sometime,” Kyoko murmured.

 

Maki paused, shooting her a glance. “Alright.”

 

They continued unpacking in silence for the rest of the time.




“Ugh, we’re finally done!” Miu flopped onto the sofa with a groan.

 

Maki walked past, somehow carrying even more items than before. “Not quite. We still need to organize everything we unpacked. This prompted a series of groans from Miu and Kokichi, who had sat down beside Miu.

 

“Guys, guys! Look what I took!!!!!” Kotoko said excitedly, racing down the stairs with Nagisa following behind. She held up her phone to reveal a photo of Celeste and Kyoko, with the former having fallen asleep on the latter, worn out from exhaustion. Kyoko hadn’t noticed the camera, caught in the motion of brushing a hand through Celeste’s hair softly.

 

Miu laughed loudly. “You definitely have to send that to the group chat later!!”

 

“Hmm, is this not an invasion of their privacy? This seems like...quite the intimate moment,” Korekiyo mused.

 

“When you live in this household, nothing is private anymore,” Kokichi said, his tone completely serious.

 

“I suppose you make a fair point.”




“Kyoko? Are you there?”

 

Kyoko turned her head at the sound of Maki’s voice, briefly pausing from where she had been examining her latest case. “I am, you can come in.”

 

Maki entered the room, quietly closing the door behind her. “Hey.”

 

“Hello. Do you need something?” Kyoko asked, turning around fully to face Maki. 

 

Instead of her usual serious expression, Maki looked...embarrassed? She pulled at one of her pigtails before saying, “You...said that we should hang out sometime, right?” By the time she finished her sentence, her face was noticeably redder than it had been before.

 

Kyoko blinked. “I did. But you could have just told me in advance about this, though, I would have cleared out my schedule.”

 

“O-oh. Sorry. I’ve...never done this sort of thing before.” At this point, Maki’s face very closely resembled a tomato, and Kyoko rushed to reassure her.

 

“It’s fine. What would you like to do?” she asked.

 

Maki glanced curiously at the papers scattered haphazardly around them. “What are you doing right now?”

 

“Ah, I was recently assigned a murder case. I thought I’d have closed it by now, but it’s a little trickier than I had anticipated,” Kyoko explained, shuffling some papers around.

 

“Can I see?” 

 

Kyoko nodded, moving back to give Maki access to the papers. The red-eyed girl studied the papers intently for a while, before pointing out a seemingly random puddle of blood, showing it to Kyoko.

 

“I recognize this. See, it kind of looks like a small bird?” 

 

“I...guess?” It did not, in fact, resemble a bird. Kyoko squinted at it, tilting her head until she could finally make out the vague shape of wings and a head with a beak.

 

“That was the calling card of one of the assassins I knew, back when I was in the organization. She would always paint a small bird with the blood of her victims. But since her drawing skills were so bad, the police never realized that it was meant to be a bird, and thus didn’t connect the dots between the different murders she caused.”

 

Kyoko nodded along, absorbing the information like a sponge. “So, do you know how to catch her?”

 

“Somewhat. I don’t think she’ll be exactly willing to turn herself in, but I can ask her who orchestrated the hit on this victim. Give me a minute.” Maki whipped out her phone, typing quickly on the screen.

 

A few moments later, she held up her phone, now with the image of a balding, middle-aged man on it.

 

“This is the guy, Rokurou Ito. You won’t be able to catch the assassin, since she’s, well, an assassin, but she sent me his address. Here, I’ll send it to you.” True to her word, a message appeared in Kyoko’s DMs in a few seconds, complete with a map of the general vicinity.

 

“Isn’t she an assassin? Why’s she helping us so readily?” Kyoko asked, feeling her suspicions flare up at Maki’s words.

 

Maki tapped out a few more messages on her phone. “Well, apparently this guy was a real asshole, tried to touch her even though she clearly said no. Also, not all assassins are completely heartless, most of us are just in it for the money. So now that she’s received her money, she has no obligation to not sell him out, if that makes sense.”

 

“I suppose it does. I’ll be sending the location to the local police now, though I have no clue how to explain that the location was given to me by the very assassin who murdered him.”

 

To her surprise, Maki laughed. “You can just make something up, can’t you?”

 

“Yes, but we all know that I’m terrible at lying,” Kyoko grumbled. “Maybe I should ask Celeste to concoct a story for me.”

 

“You know, when I came over here, I wasn’t expecting to solve a case. Maybe we should do something like this again.” Maki shot her a small smile, red eyes sparkling with happiness.

 

“Sure. Maybe next time we’ll do something more normal, though.”

 

“I doubt that’s possible. We all have trauma.”




When Celeste asked Korekiyo to watch Kotoko and Nagisa while she bought groceries, this was not how he expected this day to go.

 

“Your hair is so long and soft! Can I braid it?” Kotoko exclaimed excitedly.

 

Korekiyo blinked in confusion. What does my hair being long have to do with her sudden desire to braid it? After a few seconds of him pondering over this while she stared at him, he gave up trying to understand, dipping his head in agreement.

 

“Yay!” The pink-haired girl was immediately on him, tugging and pulling at his hair.

 

“Sorry about her, she’s just usually like this,” Nagisa apologized from where he was sitting and reading a textbook. 

 

Korekiyo examined the book cover, finding that it appeared to be of a much higher level of education than what Nagisa looked to be. He voiced this out loud to the boy, who merely shrugged.

 

“I’m able to, so I'll do it.” That didn’t quite answer Korekiyo’s question, but who was he to argue?

 

“Do you normally braid your siblings’ hair?” he instead chose to ask Kotoko.

 

Kotoko shook her head, her own hair flying in different directions at the movement. Some of it whacked Korekiyo’s face. Ow. “Nope! Maki-nee doesn’t really like me touching her hair and Kichi-nii’s hair is too short, so you’re the first!”

 

“Well, I’m sure Miu would let you braid her hair too,” he offered.

 

Kotoko’s face somehow brightened even more, now more closely resembling a sun than a human head. “I’ll have to ask her one day then!”

 

Hmm...Maybe having a family wasn’t so bad after all.

Chapter Text

[Chat: BEST CLASS!! ☆*:.。.o(≧▽≦)o.。.:*☆]

 

Ryoma: Well, I guess I’ve been adopted now

 

Kaede: You too? At this rate, Celeste-san is going to adopt the whole class!

 

Angie: Angie is confused. Celeste says that the people on Angie’s island were just brainwashing and manipulating Angie into believing that Atua is real

 

Angie: Angie...might have to take a moment

 

Kaede: Alright, I have to admit that’s really cool of her to try and break Angie’s cult mindset

 

Miu: hey keebs. never asked how ur date to the prom went

 

K1-B0: Well, in between trying not to get set on fire by the dance floor, Ouma-kun, Saihara-kun and Kaito-kun talked it over, and we decided that we probably wouldn’t work out. I didn’t want to put any tension on Ouma-kun and Saihara-kun’s relationship, so we agreed to just remain as friends.

 

Kaede: Thats nice of you, Keebo

 

Kaito: you forgot to mention that we’re dating now

 

K1-B0: Ah yes! Kaito-kun and I are going out together now :)

 

Kirumi: Congratulations.

 

Rantaro: thats cool

 

Rantaro: i also question y we havent found out about this earlier

 

Ryoma: You never figured out that Kirumi and I were dating either and it’s been a year

 

Kaede: WHAT?????

 

Kirumi: Oh, they didn’t know?

 

Ryoma: No, and I was getting tired of their attempts to set me up with different people

 

Rantaro: oh. sorry, we didnt know

 

Ryoma: It’s fine

 

Kaede: Why has all of the food in the kitchen been replaced with cotton candy

 

Shuichi: kokichi?

 

Kokichi: it wasnt me (╬ Ò﹏Ó)

 

Kokichi: blame makiroll!!!!

 

Maki: Yeah, it was me

 

Kaede: Why

 

Maki: Kotoko’s cat is sick so we’re doing things with her to cheer her up

 

Kokichi: i was playing my little pony w/ her earlier

 

Miu: i finished the mechanical carriage u asked me to make btw

 

Kokichi: yes, princess luna needs her carriage

 

Kaede: Again, another surprisingly wholesome moment

 

Kaede: But where did all our food go?

 

Maki: Oh, I’ll go get it

 

Kirumi: Yes please. I need to cook dinner.




The following is a short Halloween fic I wrote and was too lazy to make into another story. I also included the requests from @X_Lavender_Skies_X and @Kontuno because I have a ton of requests and thus had to combine several of them

 

Celestia - Vampire

Kyoko - Werewolf

Maki - Bloody Mary ghost

Kokichi - Changeling

Korekiyo - Kitsune

Miu - Succubus

Kotoko - Imp (young demon)

Nagisa - Werewolf

Angie - Faerie

Ryoma - Werecat

Kirumi - Spider hybrid

Mukuro - Demon

 

“Kotoko! Nagisa! We’re going!” Kyoko called out, listening to the thumps and various yells of the dorm’s residents. 

 

“Coming!” Kotoko yelled, scrambling down the stairs with her brother hot on her heels. 

 

“Koko! Slow down a bit, I’m not that fast!” Nagisa huffed, his wolf tail outstretched and waving in annoyance.

 

Kotoko sighed but stopped briefly to wait for Nagisa to catch up. “You know, I always thought werewolves were supposed to be faster.”

 

“And I thought that imps were supposed to be small and weak,” the werewolf pup shot back.

 

Kyoko glanced up at the window, before cutting into the siblings’ argument. “If you don’t hurry up, we’ll be late,” she warned, prompting the two to shut up and rush to her side.

 

“Alright, I want the two of you to behave at the festival later,” the older werewolf said sternly. “Don’t lose control of your urges, don’t stray away from the festival grounds, and don’t interact with any humans, got it?”

 

The two young monsters mumble words of agreement, already too excited to pay attention. Kyoko sighs but suppresses a smile. It’s been a while since she’s gotten that excited for the yearly Halloween festival, but watching them incites a new kind of eagerness in her, as well as a fierce desire to make sure nothing happens to them.

 

“Where are the others?” Nagisa asked coolly, though his rapidly wagging tail betrays his excitement.

 

“We’ll be meeting them there, don’t worry.”

 

Kotoko and Nagisa jabber away like little birds all the way to the festival, and Kyoko finds that she doesn’t mind as much as she would have a few months ago. She chuckles quietly. These kids really have changed me.




The first person they meet at the festival is Maki. The ghost is already in her true form, translucent and floating several inches off the ground. There’s blood streaming down her face to pool on the ground, but it doesn’t really exist, disappearing a few moments after it touches the ground. The two younger kids run up to greet her and she laughs, turning tangible again to hug Kotoko.

 

“The others?” Kyoko asks.

 

As if she had summoned him, Kokichi pops up beside her, a wide smile on his face. He looks almost the same, except for the eerie purple glow of his eyes.

 

“Missed me?” he cheers. Korekiyo, Celeste, Miu, Angie, and Ryoma also appear, with Miu and Angie flying around their heads in a bizarre game of tag.

 

Ryoma chuckles. “This festival...isn’t as bad as I expected.”

 

“Hell yeah! A whole bunch of horny teenagers all gathered together? I’ve never felt so energized!” Miu yells, momentarily pausing her game with Angie. The faerie eagerly bobs her head. “Angie’s been feeding off the happy energy people are feeling!”

 

“See? It was a good idea.” Celeste crosses the distance between her and Kyoko to stand by her side. 

 

Kyoko wraps her arm around the vampire’s waist, drawing her close. “It was. Are you planning to meet up with your siblings?”

 

“No, they wanted to explore the festival with their significant others instead,” Celeste explains.

 

“I see. Well, I’m glad you found them after all those years.”

 

“Indeed. An odd coincidence, was it not?”

 

Kyoko doesn’t respond to that, content to stand and watch as their kids - they really are their kids now - run about, laughing and smiling in a way they could never afford to be before. 

 

Even the more reserved ones join in, and Kotoko shrieks with laughter when Korekiyo’s tails accidentally knock Ryoma over. The werecat smirks as he gets back on his feet, before shifting into his true form (though he still isn’t much bigger than a normal housecat), springing to bite at Korekiyo’s tails. 

 

This ends up in an all-out fight, with Maki eventually ending up as the winner, quickly turning tangible and intangible again to attack her siblings. And sure, they may accidentally set some of the grass on fire, but they have fun, and so Kyoko and Celeste can’t be bothered to care.




“Do you like spiders because you are one, or is it just a coincidence?” Mukuro asks curiously.

 

“I suppose it is merely a coincidence, as I normally suppress my abilities on a day-to-day basis, rendering me unable to communicate with them normally,” Kirumi answers after a moment.

 

“Oh, I see.”

 

They sit in silence for a while before Kirumi suddenly asks, “Why are you here?”

 

Mukuro blinks at her. “What do you mean?”

 

“Usually you’re either with your sister or Maizono-san. So why are you sitting with me right now?”

 

“You seemed lonely,” Mukuro shrugs. “Sayaka wanted to go hang out with the other sirens without the risk of me being entranced. Junko...who knows what she’s up to.”

 

Just at that moment, Junko ran past, in her full demonic form, chasing a bunch of faeries while cackling loudly. They disappeared around the corner.

 

“I suppose that’s your answer,” Kirumi said wryly. Mukuro laughed quietly. “Yeah.”

 

“Thanks for sitting with me.”

 

“It’s no problem. You’re quite interesting.”

 

“...Thank you?”

Chapter Text

Hey hey!!! Hanabi-chan back again, less sleep-deprived than before! So it has come to my attention that this fic has over 8k hits!!!!! That's amazing!!!!!! Thank you guys so much!!!!!!!!

As a thank you for everything, I'll be opening up a Q&A for this fic. You can ask questions for me or the Danganronpa characters, and I'll write the answers in about...a week, maybe? Plenty of time to submit your questions I hope.

This has been asked about quite a few times so I'm going to let you guess now: What are the identities of Celeste's siblings? I have dropped quite a few hints to their identities, so you can re-read the chapters to try and figure it out! I'll release their names at the same time as the second part to this Q&A, so submit your guesses before then!!!!! People who correctly guess all of them will get a shoutout when I drop their names :)

Good luck, and thank you once again!!!!!!!!

Chapter Text

Hihi! Thank you for all your submissions, I’ll try to answer them to the best of my abilities!!!!




Question from the Ultimate Anon

Q: Tsumugi and Saihara do you think you both look alike with Sayaka?

 

Tsumugi: Sayaka-chan and I are actually cousins! Second-generation cousins, to be precise. We don’t talk much though

 

Shuichi: huh? oh, i suppose we do. but we’re not related in any way 



Questions from the anon ImSoSad…!

Q: Why Celeste don’t show her real name for everyone?

 

Celestia: Well you see, darling, I worked hard to establish my reputation as Celestia Ludenberg. It would be a shame to discard this image that I have crafted, no?

 

Q: Is Celeste a childhood when she abandoned by her parents?

 

Celestia: I believe that you are asking if I was a child when I was kicked out of my house? Yes, I was about 14 at the time

 

Q: How Kyoko meet Celeste and then they’re dating?

 

Kyoko: Well, we are classmates. It was inevitable that we would meet, after all. We both had a really bad sleep schedule and would often meet in the kitchen when we went to get coffee and tea respectively

 

Celestia: Coffee is disgusting

 

Kyoko: We started dating after Celeste wouldn’t stop flirting with me and made me realise that I didn’t actually mind as much as I should have

 

Celeste: :)

 

Kyoko: She is incredibly persistent 

 

Celeste: You love it

 

Kyoko: I do

 

Q: In chapter 25 why you like write Celeste has a "dream" not "nightmare" ?

 

Hanabi (me): Well, there are a few reasons. The first is that not all of the dream was terrible, it just gradually progressed into a nightmare. The earlier scene with Celeste and both her parents was actually a happy memory. The second is that Celeste is trying to downplay the severity of the dream, and calling it a dream sounds more lighthearted than a nightmare. She’s beating herself up for feeling so strongly about ‘just a dream’, so that’s the reasoning.




Questions from the anon mushroom

Q: Question for Celestia, if you could change something about the way you lived your life, what would it be?

 

Celestia: I regret not trying to reach out to my siblings earlier. But I suppose we can make up lost time now

 

Q: Question for Kyoko, do you sometimes think you’re being lied to by Celeste?

 

Kyoko: Yes, unfortunately. I have become rather adept at detecting when Celeste is lying; so I can confirm that she does lie to me sometimes. It is not something I think she is able to stop doing immediately, but we’re working on it

 

Q: Question for Maki, what is your most painful memory?

 

Maki:

 

Maki: Can I choose not to answer?

 

Kokichi: fuck u, if im doing it, u r too

 

Maki: I guess...my most painful memory would be the moment I was taken from the orphanage. The kids all thought that I was being transferred to a foster home and I couldn’t tell them otherwise. So although they were upset that I was leaving, they were also really happy for me since they thought that I was going somewhere better. That hurt a lot

 

Q: Question for Kokichi, what’s the best thing about your family?

 

Kokichi: thats easy! more ppl to help w/ my pranks!!!! ヽ(*・ω・)ノ

 

Maki: Kichi. Answer honestly

 

Kokichi: ugh

 

Kokichi: the knowledge that there r ppl who care about me 

 

Kokichi: happy?

 

Q: Question for Miu, what’s your biggest insecurity?

 

Miu: hah? i dont have any fucking insecurities, unlike your lame ass!

 

Miu: but hypothetically speaking...ppl finding out that im useless (which im not!!!!) and leaving me because of it




Questions from the anon Lemon Scented Cardboard

Q: Gonta, you love all bugs, but are there any bugs you favor?

 

Gonta: All bugs are Gonta’s friends!

 

Hanabi: ...Gonta, they’re asking about your favorite bug

 

Gonta: But Gonta loves all bugs!!!!

 

Hanabi: Nvm

 

Q: Korekiyo, how do you maintain that hair? Looks fabulous.

 

Korekiyo: Kekekeke~ 

 

Korekiyo: Why, thank you. I make sure to thoroughly wash it every day

 

Kotoko: and i help to brush it!!!!!!!!

 

Q: Angie, does the religion you follow have any gods other than Atua?

Angie: Nope!~ Atua is our one true god!

 

Celestia: We’re working on it

 

Q: Kokichi, best prank you’ve concocted?

 

Kokichi: hmm, its got to be the time i released everyones animals in the dorms 。゚( ゚^∀^゚)゚。

 

Q: Kotoko, we know you hate salty, but savory?

 

Kotoko: huh? arent they the same?

 

Q: Byakuya, how gucci?

 

Byakuya:

 

Byakuya: Is this some sort of joke?...

 

Q: Himiko, favorite Warriors/Warrior cats villain?

 

Himiko: nyeh,,,does hollyleaf count?

 

Maki: I don’t think so

 

Himiko: what a pain. breezepelt, then

 

Rantaro: so u like the black cats?

 

Himiko: yes




Question from @CN_Vagabond

Q: I have a question for every member of the family. What are your biggest fears? And NO, you are NOT allowed to say that you have no fear, because I already know that’s bullshit.

 

Maki:

 

Kyoko:

 

Miu:

 

Korekiyo: Waking up one day and nobody knows who you are

 

Celestia: People finding out that I’m a fraud

 

Miu: The people I care about leaving me

 

Kokichi: my family being taken away from me again

 

Angie: The fact that my entire life is a lie

 

Maki: My organization hunting me down and killing all those I care about so they can drag me back into working for them

 

Kotoko: creepy old men

 

Ryoma: Messing up and other people suffering because of me

 

Nagisa: People seeing me as ‘just an experiment’

 

Kyoko: Disappointing people

 

Hanabi: They all have T R A U M A

 

Hanabi: Mine is people finding out everything about me




Question from @Shukuchi_Shikeishuu

Q: Question for Ryoma, what are your thoughts on being adopted by Celeste?Are you being treated well?

 

Ryoma: Yeah, I am. Celeste and Maki both have cats, so we’ve had a cat playdate a few times. Chi-chi didn’t seem to get along with Hayami, though

 

Ryoma: My thoughts? Eh, I don’t really have any, I just go with the flow. It has been quite enjoyable




Questions from @The_Blue_Bunny

Q: For Hajime, how many sides does an octagon have? (lol)

 

Hajime: stop making fun of me for that one time! i know its 7!

 

Chiaki:

 

Nagito:

 

Q: For Kyoko, how is your relationship with your father?

 

Kyoko: Not great. But we’re working on it

 

Q: For Celeste, what do you like about your children?

 

Celestia: I admire their resilience to keep going, even though the world has dealt them bad hands

 

Celestia: Of course, there are many other things I like about them. But that trait is one they all share

 

Q: Still for Celeste, why do you like Kyoko?

 

Celeste: Have you seen her????

 

Celeste: Literal goddess

 

Kyoko: Celeste, please

 

Celeste: It’s true. I also like her level-headedness and her ability to remain calm under pressure

 

Celeste: And she also makes great tea

 

Q: For Kokichi, why the fuck did you stole my goat?

 

Kokichi: goat?...

 

Q: For Shuichi, why do you like Kokichi?

 

Shuichi: kokichi can be very sweet at times, and he’s much more complex than he seems

 

Q: For Tsumugi, did you just broke the fourth wall?

 

Tsumugi: Did I?

 

Tsumugi: I suppose I’ll leave that up to your imagination, dear readers




Questions from @Kontuno

Q: Who’s chiakis favorite person in her class

 

Chiaki: probably hajime and nagito

 

Chiaki: yes, ik im biased, but do i really look like i give a fuck?

 

Q: Between Mukuro and Sayaka, who confessed first?

 

Mukuro: Sayaka

 

Sayaka: Me

 

Q: Kyoko, since celeste is legit adopting a new kid every week or so, Is it hard having to get used to having more than 2 kids?

 

Kyoko: Yes. This happened just last week when I came back to our dorm and found Ryoma sitting in the common room with no prior warning. It’s a normal occurrence by now

 

Q: for like all the kids of the dysfunctional (kinda functional now?) family , how did you feel when you found out that celeste and Kyoko were adopting you?

 

Maki: Suspicious

 

Kotoko: excited!!!!!

 

Ryoma: Neutral

 

Korekiyo: Confused

 

Kokichi: a bit worried, but mostly excited

 

Angie: Angie was slightly nervous, but it turns out she had nothing to be worried about!

 

Miu: happy that someone finally recognised my genius brain

 

Nagisa: Apprehensive

 

Kokichi: wow, big word




Questions from @TemaTomo

Q: Question for everyone, who do you think has the worst luck, excluding Makoto and Nagito?

 

Maki: Probably Ishimaru-senpai. He always loses when he plays games

 

Kokichi: or junko-chan. her plans to cause chaos always fail, but she kinda likes it??? (・・;)ゞ

 

Kokichi: she says it causes her to feel despair and thats why she likes it

 

Maki: Enoshima-senpai is just weird as fuck

 

Q: Also, to Angie, do you know of any type of art that you haven’t done, or maybe don’t want to do?

 

Angie: Angie hasn’t tried pottery! The island that Angie lived on did not have a proper kiln, so Angie was unable to make pottery

 

Angie: But Hope’s Peak has a kiln!!! Angie is very excited to try it!!




Questions from the anon TheOddGuava

Q: What was Kyoko’s first reaction to Celeste wanting to adopt kids at first?

 

Kyoko: I was very confused since we’re both underage. Completely forgetting that my girlfriend is a professional gambler and ‘has her ways’

 

Q: What convinced Kyoko to adopt Maki/Kokichi along with the others alongside Celeste?

 

Kyoko: Well, I knew she would adopt them anyways, whether I agreed or not

 

Celestia: Kyoko also has a soft spot for heavily traumatised children




Question from my friend Chai

Q: They’re literally already raising kids together. How are they not married yet?????

 

Kyoko:

 

Celestia: I could change that?

 

Kyoko: Celeste, we’re still in high school

 

Celestia: And?

 

Kyoko: Celestia

 

Celestia: Very well. I shall refrain from proposing until we graduate

 

Kyoko: You’re going to propose on the day of our graduation with a dramatic, over-the-top proposal in front of the whole school, aren’t you?

 

Celestia: You certainly are very smart, my dear Kyoko :)




Now, the moment everyone’s been waiting for!!!! Celeste’s sibling reveal :D

 

Congratulations to the Ultimate Anon and @Kontuno for guessing correctly!!!!!

 

Peko: Hello

 

Kiyotaka: Good morning! What is this?

 

Gundham: Greetings, Sister of Swords, Rule Follower!

 

Gundham: Greetings, Tanaka-kun!

 

Celeste: Yes, they are my siblings. An odd coincidence, is it not?

 

Peko: For those who are curious, the Kuzuryus changed my name after they took me in. Anzu is my previous name

 

 

And this concludes our Q&A!!!! Thank you everyone for your submissions, and I hope my answers are satisfactory XD

Chapter Text

[Chat: Weebs, unite!]

 

-Tsumugi created the chat ‘Weebs, unite!’-

 

-Tsumugi added Sayaka and 3 others-

 

Sayaka: Hey. Mugi! Whats this?

 

Tsumugi: Anime chat! :D

 

-Tsumugi enabled nicknames-

 

Sayaka: Ofc it is

 

Sayaka: Ive literally only watched two animes in my entire life, and that  was because you wanted me to watch them with you

 

Maki: She’s pretty desperate at this point, she doesn’t care

 

Tsumugi: Damn right

 

-Tsumugi changed Sayaka to Jirou but blue-

 

Jirou but blue: Creative

 

Tsumugi: Thanks, I try

 

Celestia: Oh? What is this?

 

Maki: Backread

 

Celestia: I see. Who is the other person?

 

Tsumugi: Mitarai-senpai from the 77th class (though I don’t think he attends class). He’s the Ultimate Animator

 

Tsumugi: Back to nicknames

 

-Tsumugi changed Celestia to LET’S GET OUR GAMBLING FREAK ON-

 

-Tsumugi changed Ryota to our lord and savior-

 

Jirou but blue: Whats that about?

 

Tsumugi: He makes anime. I am literally the biggest weeb ever. Connect the dots, Saya-chan

 

Jirou but blue: Understandable, have a great day

 

-Tsumugi changed Maki to Korosensei’s true killer-

 

Korosensei’s true killer:

 

-Tsumugi changed Tsumugi to Ultimate Weeb-

 

Ultimate Weeb: There!

 

LET’S GET OUR GAMBLING FREAK ON: Am I to understand that our nicknames are all anime references?

 

Ultimate Weeb: Except for Mitarai-senpai, yes

 

Korosensei’s true killer: So what do we do in this chat?

 

Ultimate Weeb: Discuss A N I M E

 

Korosensei’s true killer: Idk why I even asked




[Chat: H O P E]

 

Akane: whys nagito crying?

 

Hajime: i got him a golden retriever

 

Akane: so...whys he crying?

 

Chiaki: hes happy

 

Chiaki: he says it looks like his old dog

 

Mahiru: That looks like great photograph material!

 

Nagito: The hope is strong today

 

Hajime: pls stop talking about hope and feed ur new puppy




[Chat: Dysfunctional family]

 

Kokichi: hey guys

 

Kokichi: wanna help me prank ppl (^▽^)

 

Kotoko: yes!!!!!!!! (☆▽☆)

 

Angie: Angie will help!~

 

Ryoma: I’m not against it

 

Korekiyo: Alright

 

Miu: k

 

Maki: Sure, if everyone else is joining in

 

Nagisa: I don’t think I have anything right now so ok

 

Celestia: Kyoko and I are willing to help if it’s not dangerous

 

Kokichi: easier than i expected

 

Kokichi: and no, its not dangerous

 

Kokichi: u guys know that teruteru guy?

 

Maki: Oh, that creep. Yes, unfortunately

 

Ryoma: He keeps making suggestive comments about how ‘the quiet ones are always the kinkiest’

 

Miu: its true

 

Miu: but he is pretty annoying, yeah

 

Kokichi: k so my idea is that we go into his room while hes gone and flip it upside down

 

Korekiyo: Do you mean mess it up?...

 

Kokichi: no. literally flip it upside down. glue all his shit to the ceiling 

 

Angie: Angie has some extra strong glue we can use!!

 

Maki: That’s not a bad idea, I suppose

 

Kotoko: yay! pranks!!

 

Kyoko: Don’t hurt yourselves

 

Kokichi: yes mom

 

Kokichi: and other mom

 

Celestia: Good :)




[Chat: H O P E]

 

Ibuki: IBUKI THINKS THIS IS HILARIOUS!!!! XD

 

Teruteru: How do i get all my stuff down??????

 

Hajime: sucks to be u ig




[Chat: Welcome to hell]

 

Makoto: celeste

 

Makoto: ur kids committed murder

 

Celestia: Oh? That was not planned

 

Leon: tf??

 

Kyoko: Who did they kill?

 

Makoto: haiji towa

 

Kyoko: Makoto, it’s not a murder if they kill a rat

 

Junko: LMAOOOOO

 

Celestia: I asked them about it and they said it was a family bonding experience

 

Mukuro: Sounds legit

 

Celestia: Absolutely

 

Celestia: They even picked a location where there were no security cameras

 

Chihiro: oh cool

 

Komaru: wait they killed haiji?

 

Sayaka: Apparently

 

Komaru: oh my gosh tell them great job!!!!!!

 

Makoto: komaru!

 

Celestia: I must admit that I am surprised. I have attempted to kill that cockroach multiple times before but never succeeded

 

Leon: well one of ur kids is the ultimate assassin, rite?

 

Celestia: I suppose that is true

 

Celestia: I will relay your message, Naegi-san

 

Komaru: just call me komaru! its a lot less confusing w/ my big bro around and all

 

Makoto: komaru, u barely know them

 

Komaru: nii-san, i am literally dating one of them

 

Makoto: touche

 

Celestia: *touché

 

Makoto: literally no 1 cares about the little thing on the e

 

Celestia: I do

 

Kyoko: Don’t bother arguing with her

 

Aoi: i want to type out the laughing face but my caps lock physically doesnt work

 

Sakura: I can help you type it, Hina

 

Sakura: XD

 

Aoi: thanks, sakura-chan!!!!

 

Sayaka: Lesbian supremacy :D

Chapter Text

Hello, flowers!!! So my good friend, Chai, suggested that I do a fun little challenge for anyone who wants to participate!! Ofc, this is optional, and purely for shits and giggles, so don't feel obligated to participate!! I haven't decided on a prize for the winner yet, so you can just comment what you think would be a good prize :)

The challenge is...*cue drumroll noises* which out of context sentence, from this fic, did you guys find the funniest? Note that I haven't re-read any of the chapters I wrote in the past, so I don't really remember everything I've written. That means I'll be approaching this from a newer point of view, and all the answers will be judged fairly. I also have Chai as my other judge, so it's more equal as Chai has only read the first six chapters.

So good luck to anyone who feels like participating, and don't forget to comment prize ideas alongside your entries!!!

Chapter Text

Basically the title. Sorry, I can't summon up the energy to write a new chapter at the moment, so this is what you get.

You can join the server if you just want to hang out or feel like chatting with me and some other people. I could even share some of my unpublished story ideas there too if you want, I guess. Whatever

https://discord.gg/uxzdpVjqPH

^^Link

Chapter Text

[Chat: Weebs, unite!]

 

Ultimate Weeb: Hey quick question

 

Ultimate Weeb: Have y’all seen or played DDLC before?

 

Korosensei’s true killer: Yep

 

Jirou but blue: I think I watched you play a little bit of it a few years back

 

LET’S GET OUR GAMBLING FREAK ON: I’ve seen some clips of it

 

our lord and savior: uh

 

our lord and savior: yeah, i played it once

 

our lord and savior: but i skipped through a lot of the starting dialogue

 

Ultimate Weeb: :000000

 

Ultimate Weeb: MITARAI-SENPAI I ADORE YOUR WORKS

 

Ultimate Weeb: YOU ARE AN INSPIRATION TO ANIMATORS ACROSS THE GLOBE AND DESERVE ONLY THE HIGHEST PRAISE

 

our lord and savior: uhhhhh thanks?

 

Ultimate Weeb: ANYWAYS

 

Ultimate Weeb: Which character y’all like?

 

Jirou but blue: Cant say for sure, since I havent seen that much of it, but Sayori appeals to me a lot. Shes just so cheerful and upbeat, yknow?

 

Ultimate Weeb: uHHHHH

 

Korosensei’s true killer: Nobody tell her

 

Jirou but blue: Tell me what?

 

LET’S GET OUR GAMBLING FREAK ON: From what I’ve seen, I rather like Monika. The ending was quite the spectacle 

 

Jirou but blue: Guys???? Tell me what????

 

our lord and savior: i can relate to yuri a lot, so i suppose she would be my favorite

 

Jirou but blue: Ig Im just going to be ignored now huh

 

Korosensei’s true killer: Natsuki

 

Ultimate Weeb: Of course you do 

 

Jirou but blue: Ugh, nvm

 

Korosensei’s true killer: What’s that supposed to mean?

 

Ultimate Weeb: You’re both tsunderes

 

Korosensei’s true killer: I am not a tsundere

 

Jirou but blue: Guys, don’t start arguing over this

 

JIrou but blue: So, Mugi-chan, whos your favorite character?

 

Ultimate Weeb: Well, I don’t really have a favorite. They’re all amazing and have certain characteristics that I can appreciate. But, if I really had to choose, I’d say Monika

 

LET’S GET OUR GAMBLING FREAK ON: Monika wins then, I suppose

 

Jirou but blue: Idk, Monika seemed a bit...off, to me

 

Jirou but blue: Like, she seemed nice on the outside, but I couldnt help but feel that she wasnt entirely genuine??? Ig???

 

Korosensei’s true killer: No one tell her

 

Jirou but blue: Tell me what????????

 

Jirou but blue: Guys???????




[Chat: Dysfunctional family]

 

Maki: Hey so I need someone to bring me food

 

Kokichi: huh? just get ur own fucking food???? ( ̄~ ̄;)

 

Maki: I’m in detention

 

Maki: And Kirumi-san is busy

 

Kyoko: Why are you in detention?

 

Maki: Well some guys were being really creepy to Miu

 

Maki: Told her that her tits were the only thing she was good for so she might as well make herself useful and let them touch her

 

Maki: So I punched them

 

Maki: But a teacher happened to walk by and now I’m in detention for aggravated assault

 

Celestia: Oh my

 

Celestia: Miu, are you alright?

 

Miu: yeah, im kinda used to it

 

Maki: I’ll punch you if you think you can just sit there and take it

 

Miu: the teachers generally dont care tho

 

Kokichi: they all suck

 

Kokichi: except for yukizome-sensei

 

Korekiyo: Indeed. She is the only good teacher in this school

 

Kyoko: Hm

 

Kyoko: I’ll talk to my father

 

Maki: Istg, Miu, if you say something like ‘you don’t need to bother about it’, I will actually punch you

 

Celestia: Need I remind you that I have gone through similar experiences? I know how it feels and we can actually put a stop to it now

 

Miu:

 

Miu: ok

 

Miu: thx

 

Maki: Now can someone please bring me some food? I’m hungry




[Chat: sibling chat that taka made and no one bothered to delete]

 

Celestia: I require some assistance

 

Gundham: Oh? I sense that your mind is troubled with thoughts of outrage. Speak, and share with us what is plaguing you!

 

Peko: Translation: You seem angry. What’s wrong?

 

Celestia: My daughter Miu is getting harassed by these sick perverts, who the teachers cannot expel without proof. Additionally, Maki fought back against them when they tried to molest Miu, and she was the one who got in trouble for it!

 

Celestia: Kyoko has already spoken with Kirigiri-sensei about it, and he says that while it is true they cannot be expelled without proof, he also hinted that it would be far easier if they simply chose to drop out

 

Peko: I see. And I suppose you are sharing this so that we can do things to make them want to drop out, correct?

 

Celestia: Yes

 

Kiyotaka: Celeste! While usually I do not condone this behavior, I can make an exception this one time! These bullies certainly do not follow the school rules!

 

Gundham: Indeed, we shall make their already pathetic lives into a living hell!

 

Celestia: Great, I am very happy that we can agree on this. I have had quite a few people inform me that we look rather intimidating because of our appearances, so perhaps we could put that to good use




 [Chat: BEST CLASS!! ☆*:.。.o(≧▽≦)o.。.:*☆]

 

Maki: Listen up bitches

 

Maki: There are these four boys that we need to make sure drop out

 

Maki: I don’t care how you do it, just make it happen

 

Kaede: Do I want to know?

 

Kokichi: not rlly

 

Kaede: Alright then

 

Angie: Angie thinks these fuckers deserve divine retribution!~

 

Rantaro: Did Atua tell you that?

 

Angie: Angie has been working on getting rid of the cultist mindset that was created as a result of her upbringing. She did not want to believe it at first, but she has come to realize that Celeste is right. So now, Angie is working on it!

 

Kaede: Thats great, Angie-san!

 

Tenko: well, tenko’s never going to miss the opportunity to beat up a male! or five!

 

Maki: I can help as soon as I get out of detention

 

Maki: Just make sure there aren’t any teachers around

 

Maki: After all, they can’t do anything WiThOuT pRoOf, can they?

 

Kokichi: makirolls being incredibly salty today, isnt she? ( ̄ω ̄;)

 

Maki: Wouldn’t you be?

 

Kokichi: tru dat

 

Tenko: uhhh, tenko was going to beat up the males harukawa-san told her to, but she doesn’t know what they look like

 

Maki: I get out of detention in about an hour, so we can go together

 

Tenko: that sounds good! 

 

Himiko: hey tenko

 

Himiko: if ur out, can u get me some juice pouches?

 

Tenko: of course, himiko!

 

Maki: Could you get me some snacks too? 

 

Ryoma: Didn’t I just get you lunch

 

Maki: Yes but three small boxes of sushi isn’t very filling

 

Tenko: tenko will get harukawa-san snacks!

 

Rantaro: i find it hilarious how this chat can go from planning a murder(?) to cute wholesome stuff like fetching their friends some snacks. who are in detention from almost causing a murder

 

Kokichi: nishishishi~

 

Kokichi: its just a special talent of ours (* ^ ω ^)

 

Tsumugi: Also because the author has no clue what the fuck she’s writing

 

Kaede: Huh?

 

Tsumugi: Don’t worry about it




Bonus! Questions from @Toko_Toki_Fukawa! The Q&A portion of this fic is technically closed, but I’ll make an exception this one time! If you really want to ask me stuff, join my Discord (link is in the previous chapter and my profile). People in my Discord server automatically get priority for chapter requests and can also talk to me personally :D

 

Q: Question for Celeste, Have you considered adopting Toko? She’s also a very traumatized child(what with neither of her 3 parents wanting her and being bullied all her life)

 

Celestia: Hmm, not really. She is technically my senior, being one year above me, so I figured it would be a little strange to adopt someone older than you

 

Q: Question for Celeste, how did you start gambling?

 

Celestia: When I first started, it was more out of necessity than anything else. I needed the money, so I entered a gambling ring to try my luck. A lot of the people there laughed at me at first, but it turned out that I was really good at gambling, and happened to win a large sum of money. So I just kept doing it after that

 

Q: Question for Toko, what’s it like waking up and realizing Syo just killed somebody?

 

Toko: I usually faint again from the sight of blood if I’m still near the body. But...I suppose I feel somewhat guilty for causing the deaths. Not often, though, since the guys I kill are mostly assholes anyways.

 

Q: Question for Chihiro, who has the worst search history?

 

Chihiro: um

 

Chihiro: saihara-kun and kirigiri-sans r pretty bad, since theyre both ultimate detectives and have to search up some frankly disturbing things

 

Chihiro: and celeste-sans kids have all searched up different ways to kill a man at least once

 

Chihiro: but in general, its yamada-kun and hanamura-kun. the sheer amount of porn-

 

Q: Question for Makoto, how does it feel knowing that Toko is fucking your sister?

 

Makoto: can we pls not talk abt that…

 

Q: Question for Kyoko, what’s it like having a new child every week?

 

Kyoko: Pretty normal, now

 

Kyoko: But it is incredibly tiring, with all the issues they have and that Celeste and I have to try and help them with. Plus all the paperwork

 

Q: Question for Mukuro, do you vape? If so, can you do tricks?

 

Mukuro: I don’t vape. Don’t see the point

Chapter Text

[Chat: BEST CLASS!! ☆*:.。.o(≧▽≦)o.。.:*☆]

 

Ryoma: Stage one of operation complete

 

Angie: Nyahaha! It was very fun~

 

Kokichi: gr8. kiyo-chan, initiate stage 2 ( ` ω ´ )

 

Korekiyo: Stage two is ongoing

 

Kaede: What’s going on now????

 

Kokichi: shhhhh

 

Rantaro: what stages?

 

Maki: I’ll explain once we get to stage four, at the least

 

Rantaro: aight. gl for whatever it is

 

Miu: ive got the gadgets. blue twink says stage three is complete too, btw

 

Kokichi: is stage four taking place rn?

 

Ryoma: Yup

 

Maki: Chabashira. You good?

 

Tenko: tenko is almost done!!!!

 

Kokichi: hurry. theyre abt ten seconds away ..・ヾ(。><)シ

 

Tenko: its finished!

 

Rantaro: can i ask now?

 

Maki: Stage one is for Ryoma and Angie. They approach the targets and inform them, in great detail, of what exactly they want to do to freaks like them. They then depart, leaving the four of them paranoid for the rest of the week, at the very least

 

Kokichi: stage 2 is for kiyo-chan. he watches them, wherever they go. the victims will feel his gaze on them, but never see him becos kiyo-chan is v sneaky, thus making them even more paranoid. at the end of the day, he will appear when they least expect it and deliver a scary speech

 

Maki: Stage three is for Nagisa and Fujisaki-san. The two of them worked together to hack into their phones and delete all the data on it, making them effectively useless

 

Kokichi: and stage four is for all of us (plus the green lesbian). basically, we just set up some stuff to make their day that much more inconvenient

 

Tenko: tenko glued their locker doors shut!!

 

Kokichi: good job guys. we can take a break for today o(≧▽≦)o

 

Kaede: I thought I could have a relaxing day learning how to do different hairstyles but I guess not

 

Kaede: Remind me never to piss you guys off

 

Rantaro: ur learning how to style hair?

 

Kaede: Yeah! 

 

Rantaro: thats pretty cool

 

Kaede: Speaking of that

 

Kaede: Maki, can I practice on you? Your hair would be perfect to style!

 

Maki: No

 

Kokichi: ha. gl convincing her to let u touch her hair (*≧ω≦*)

 

Kokichi: even when we were young she wouldnt let me

 

Maki: No one touches my hair

 

Tenko: kaede-san can practice on tenko! tenko doesn’t mind :)

 

Kaede: Alright! Thanks, Tenko!

 

Rantaro: once again, i never fail to be surprised by how we can go from planning how to get people to drop out to discussing hairstyling




[Chat: Dysfunctional family]

 

Kokichi: kiyo-chan! where r u??? ヽ(*・ω・)ノ

 

Korekiyo: In the bedroom. Kotoko convinced me to play My Little Pony with her

 

Kokichi: oh? (✧ω✧)

 

Kotoko: yep yep!! wanna join us, kichi-nii?

 

Kokichi: nope. mlp is for babies 

 

Kokichi: buuuuuut thats a lie! id love to play w/ u guys ヽ(o^ ^o)ノ

 

Kotoko: yayyyyyyy!!!!!! 。゚( ゚^∀^゚)゚。

 

Angie: Angie has created some better ponies for you!~

 

Kotoko: theyre so pretty!

 

Kyoko: Are you all playing my little pony?

 

Maki: It seems that way

 

Kotoko: i got kiyo-nii to wear a dress!!!

 

Kotoko: he looks v pretty o(>ω<)o

 

Kotoko: kiyoinadress.png

 

Celestia: Oh my. If I knew that he would look so good in a dress, I would have asked to choose some dresses for him a long time ago

 

Kyoko: You just like dressing people up

 

Celestia: That is true

 

Kotoko: hes playing the magical princess who rules over the entire pony kingdom!!!

 

Angie: And Angie made some custom ponies for everyone!!~

 

Kokichi: yeah becos makiroll was too edgy for a normal pony and got a batpony instead 

( ̄▽ ̄)

 

Maki: Shut up, gremlin




[Private message: Kyoko > Celestia]

 

Kyoko: Celes

 

Kyoko: I just received a letter from my grandfather

 

Kyoko: He’s coming to visit

 

Kyoko: What do I do

 

Celestia: Calm down, ma chérie

 

Kyoko: If he hears that I’m dating you and adopted 8 children he’s going to flip

 

Celestia: Fuck him

 

Celestia: He doesn’t deserve a granddaughter like you

 

Kyoko: But what do I do?????

 

Kyoko: Do I try to hide our relationship + the kids?

 

Kyoko: Do I tell him about it and risk being disowned like my father?

 

Kyoko: Do I run away to another country and never look back?

 

Celestia: No to the last option. I quite like Japan

 

Kyoko: Celes what the fuck do I do

 

Celestia: I think you should just be upfront with him. If he disowns you, that’s his loss

 

Celestia: Do not respond with a ‘but what if’

 

Celestia: Literally nothing that comes out of his mouth is worth a single fuck

 

Kyoko: You’re right

 

Kyoko: Thanks

 

Celestia: It is no problem, darling




[Chat: Welcome to hell]

 

Makoto: hey kyoko, theres an old guy standing outside asking 4 u

 

Kyoko: Tell him that I will be over shortly

 

Makoto: k

 

Makoto: if u dont mind me asking, who is he? ur relative?

 

Kyoko: My grandfather. Head of the Kirigiri detective agency

 

Leon: woah thats so cool

 

Aoi: yeah! he must be so proud of you!

 

Kyoko: Not really

 

Kyoko: Anyways, I’ll be gone for a moment while I talk to him

 

Mukuro: Hey, why do I hear shouting?

 

Makoto: it sounds like its coming from outside the dorm

 

Aoi: wait i just looked and kyoko’s grandfather is yelling at her

 

Aoi: oh shit she looks upset

 

Celestia: Not today, bitch

 

Leon: whats going on????

 

Aoi: uhhh kyoko and her grandfather seem to be arguing

 

Mukuro: Celeste just showed up 

 

Makoto: this will not end well

 

Aoi: security are taking him away!

 

Sayaka: Just woke up from my nap. What the fuck happened?

 

Celestia: Kyoko does not wish to share. Please do not enquire any further

 

Aoi: if she feels that way, i’ll respect her decisions!

 

Leon: yeah, same

 

Makoto: i hope the issue gets resolved soon




[Chat: BEST CLASS!! ☆*:.。.o(≧▽≦)o.。.:*☆]

 

Maki: Chabashira. Ready to initiate stage five?

 

Tenko: tenko is very ready!!!!! :D

 

Kaede: I fear for those boys

Chapter Text

Hihi! It's me, Hanabi-chan!!!

I know I'm going to sound like an annoying salesperson right now, sorry. I made a Patreon!! (Wow, the inner salesperson already taking over, huh) Members of my Patreon get sneak peaks at my works-in-progress, including the ones that I will never publish here. 

*distant yelling in the background* ...Yes, fine, I do kinda need the money. Mizi has been exhibiting some signs of boredom recently and I want to get her a bigger enclosure. Unfortunately, the cages are all pretty expensive, with the cheapest one being 110 USD (not that I don't have that amount, but I do need money for Mizi's monthly necessities). So all profits will go towards saving for Mizi's new cage

Yes, I know that I'm not super likely to get any patreons, but I can still try. And of course, I don't want to pressure any of you to join, it's purely optional. Please don't steal your parents' credit card just so you can pay for it

Chapter Text

[Chat: H O P E]

 

Chiaki: peko, can u pls get ur gf and ur sisters kid to quiet down a little

 

Chiaki: im trying to take a nap

 

Peko: Apologies, Chiaki-san. I will go speak to them

 

Ibuki: IBUKI IS SORRY, CHIAKI-CHAN!!!!!

 

Ibuki: IBUKI IS JUST REALLY EXCITED TO BE AN AUNT :DDDDD

 

Chiaki: i can see that

 

Hajime: wait, one of the lowerclassmen is in the dorm?

 

Ibuki: NOPE!!!! KOTOKO-CHAN IS FROM THE HOPE’S PEAK MIDDLE SCHOOL!!!!!

 

Ibuki: SO SHE’S TECHNICALLY NOT A LOWERCLASSMAN!!!

 

Chiaki: i dont care. just keep it down pls

 

Ibuki: SORRY, CHIAKI-CHAN!!!






[Chat: BEST CLASS!! ☆*:.。.o(≧▽≦)o.。.:*☆]

 

Kokichi: guys have u seen makiroll 

 

Kaede: No, why?

 

Kokichi: i havent seen her all day and im worried

 

Rantaro: maybe she just took some time for herself?

 

Rantaro: that sounds like the kind of thing shed do

 

Kokichi: u dont get it

 

Kokichi: she didnt even feed her stupid cat

 

Kokichi: or make her bed

 

Kaede: Well, Ill keep an eye out for her

 

Rantaro: yeah same

 

Kirumi: I will too.

 

Shuichi: do you want me to come over? i could help you search

 

Kokichi: yes pls




[Chat: Welcome to hell]

 

Celestia: Alright bitches, where’s my daughter??

 

Sayaka: Huh?

 

Celestia: Maki has been missing for nearly five hours and hasn’t returned

 

Kyoko: Fujisaki-san, would you mind checking the security cameras? We are both very worried about her

 

Chihiro: sure thing!

 

Celestia: Well?

 

Chihiro: uhhhhhhhhh

 

Chihiro: ull wanna see 4 urself

 

-Chihiro sent one file-

 

Aoi: who are those men in black?

 

Aoi: why do they look like they’re carrying a body bag?!?

 

Celestia: Kyoko, fetch the kids. We have an organisation to wipe out

 

Sayaka: Omg

 

Makoto: what??????




[Chat: Welcome to hell]

 

Kyoko: We’re back

 

Sayaka: What happened?!?!?!?!!

 

Sayaka: Kyoko???

 

Mukuro: It looks like she’s typing

 

Kyoko: The assassin organisation showed up and tried to take Maki, even though Celeste previously made them sign a contract to never approach her again. So we went down to their headquarters, destroyed the entire organisation and all the people in charge of it, before rescuing Maki and coming back

 

Leon: and u did this all in 2hrs????

 

Sayaka: Thats fucking crazy

 

Mukuro: Is Harukawa-san okay?

 

Kyoko: She’s still unconscious, but Tsumiki-senpai said she should be fine in a few hours. Luckily, all the other kids suffered minor to no injuries and have already been cleared by Tsumiki

 

Makoto: just backread and wtf

 

Makoto: ur saying that u took down an entire organisation under 2hs

 

Makoto: how is this not on the news

 

Kyoko: I suppose the government didn’t want to release the news of there being an assassin organisation in Japan

 

Sayaka: Wheres Celeste?

 

Kyoko: With Maki in the medical wing. She wanted to make sure Maki was alright before coming back to the dorms

 

Mukuro: I’m glad that you are all okay

 

Aoi: yeah same. though sakura-chan and i would have helped out if you asked!!!!

 

Kyoko: I appreciate your kindness, but we were in a rush and didn’t have time to contact any of you 

 

Aoi: next time we’re definitely going with you, though!

 

Mukuro: Similarly, you would be foolish to pass up on my expertise

 

Kyoko: Indeed I would. Thank you for your offers

Chapter Text

We interrupt this fic for a scheduled ad break, brought to you by Tsumugi Shirogane

 

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[Chat: Welcome to hell]

 

Sayaka: @Kyoko @Celestia where are you two?

 

Kyoko: Skipping. Maki has recovered, but she’s still rather out of it. Thus, we will be taking a day off

 

Celestia: dysfunctionalfamilyselfie.png

 

Celestia: The kids wanted to dye their hair

 

Leon: is that jataro there too???

 

Celestia: Indeed. We had forgotten that Angie had previously adopted him, so he’s part of the family too 

 

Kyoko: Also Toko is my sister now

 

Komaru: does this make u my future sister in law? :D

 

Kyoko: Sure

 

Sayaka: Wow, you guys look so cool!!!!

 

(A/N: The kids either dyed their hair purple or black. In Korekiyo’s case, both purple and black, since his hair is kind of greenish and purple doesn’t mix well with green. So the top half of his hair is black and the rest of it is a dark purple, similar to Kokichi. Ryoma dyed his whole head black, and was the only one who did one solid colour. Miu and Kotoko both chose to do streaks, with Miu having light purple highlights and Kotoko having black ones. Angie coloured the tips of her hair purple and helped Nagisa and Maki do the same, though their shades of purple are all different. Jataro just did some black tips. Kokichi didn’t need to change his hair at all lol)

 

Kyoko: We’re attending a concert at the park together right now. It’s pretty loud but the kids seem to like it

 

Makoto: ill tell the teacher that u guys wont be coming then

 

Celestia: Oh, it’s not just us. Kiyotaka is here with Oowada-kun. Toko, Peko and Gundham also came

 

Junko: LMAOOOOO at this point ur fam makes up like half the school




[Chat: H O P E]

 

Hajime: whats that noise?

 

Ibuki: SORRY HAJIMEME!!!! IBUKI WAS JUST TEACHING KOTOKO-CHAN HOW TO PLAY THE ELECTRIC GUITAR!!!!

 

Gundham: Such noises are fit for the Seventh Circle of Hell!

 

Ibuki: AWWW, THANKS GUNDHAM-CHAN!!!!!

 

Hajime: i dont think that was a compliment...