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celestia why do you have two traumatised children??

Chapter Text

[Chat: Welcome to hell]


Makoto: hey celeste? why r there 2 juniors following u around?


Celestia: I adopted them


Makoto: what.


Junko: i smelled TEA to be spilled???!!


Celestia: They are both orphans, and they happen to look like myself and Kyoko’s future children


Makoto: kyoko?? 


Kyoko: Yes, it is eerily accurate


Kyoko: makiandkokichi.png


Yasuhiro: whoa


Sayaka: They really do!


Celestia: I have obtained the adoption papers


Makoto: ur both still 18 tho???


Junko: i can feel the egg getting a migraine from here lol XDD


Makoto: kyoko? ur just letting this happen??


Kyoko: I suppose so


Makoto: oh my god

[Chat: BEST CLASS!! ☆*:.。.o(≧▽≦)o.。.:*☆]


Kokichi: guys guys!!!!! (*°▽°*)


Shuichi: what did you do now? 


Kokichi: wow, saihara-chan, so rude. u huwt my feewings o(TヘTo)


Shuichi: ;-;


Kokichi: me and makiroll got adopted!! (ノ◕ヮ◕)ノ*:・゚✧


Kaede: Congrats!!


Korekiyo: You have my congratulations.


Tenko: tenko is happy for you, harukawa-chan!


Maki: Thanks, i guess…


Shuichi: who did you get adopted by?


Kokichi: 2 of our upperclassmen!!


Shuichi: ????


Kaede: Aren’t they underage?


Kokichi: yepp! °˖✧◝(⁰▿⁰)◜✧˖°


Maki: And since we both got adopted, i guess the gremlin is now my brother


Kokichi: ewww! thats so weird to think about!!


Miu: suffer >:)


Kokichi: saihara-chan! miu is bullying me! (。•́︿•̀。)


Shuichi: why me?...




[Chat: H O P E]


Chiaki: whats going on with the 78 and 79 classes?


Hajime: no clue, but i want to remain oblivious

Chiaki: fair

Chapter Text

[Chat: red eye girl club]


Peko: What is going on in the other two classes?


Peko: I saw Naegi-kun in the corridor, hitting his head repeatedly against the wall


Celestia: I officially adopted Maki and Ouma-kun


Peko: This confuses me


Maki: Dw, Celes is more like an older sister to me


Celestia: I just needed a reason to remove them both from the shithole of an orphanage


Maki: Celes is the mature older sister and the gremlin is the annoying younger brother now


Peko: I see. I’m guessing Naegi-kun is in a state of confusion since you are technically underage


Celestia: You guess correctly


Celestia: I told him not to worry about it :)


Maki: Lmao, he must have been really spooked 


Celestia: Indeed. Now, what is our monthly prank to unnerve the other students going to be this time?


Peko: I have an good idea

[Chat: BEST CLASS!! ☆*:.。.o(≧▽≦)o.。.:*☆]


Kaede: oH MY GOD 




Miu: the fuck is going on


Shuichi: akamatsu-san?


Kokichi: nishishishi~


Rantaro: did u just type out ur laugh?


Kokichi: mayyyybe? (¬‿¬ )


Shuichi: what did you do now?


Kokichi: i didnt do anything!


Shuichi: somehow i doubt that


Kokichi: (。T ω T。)


Miu: spit it out, ya purple rat


Ryoma: I came out to get a cup of coffee and instead I nearly get a heart attack


Kaito: what happened??


Ryoma: Come out here and see


Kaito: alright aireybfsuebkgefsrhdbkywyseu


Shuichi: momota-kun?? what’s happening???


Ryoma: He’s fine, just fainted


Shuichi: that doesn’t sound very fine!!


Kokichi: wowww, momota-chan is such a scaredy-cat ヽ( ̄ω ̄ )


Kaede: Im back D:


Kaede: Warning, do NOT go into the common room


Shuichi: what’s going on?!?!


Kaede: Unspeakable horrors


Korekiyo: Kekekeke, humanity is beautiful~


Tenko: you degenerate males are disturbing yumeno-san from her nap!


Himiko: nyeh,,,what’s going on?,,,


Kaede: Nothing!!


Kaede: Tenko, please don’t let Himiko go into the common room!!


Tenko: alright, akamatsu-san!!


Shuichi: akamatsu-san? you still haven't told us what happened


Kaede: So I walk into the common room 


Kaede: And what do I see but Maki, Ludenberg-senpai and Pekoyama-senpai hanging from the ceiling like fucking BATS


Kaede: As one, they turn to look at me with GLOWING RED EYES and HISS


Kokichi: nishishishi~


Shuichi: is momota-kun still unconscious?


Kaede: I think so?


Angie: Oh my!~


Angie: It looks like these three need Atua in their lives! :3


Shuichi: yonaga-san, please don’t


Tenko: tenko has already barricaded yonaga-san’s door!


Angie: Atua will be very displeased with you >:(


Kaede: I can deal with that


Kaede: I, however, can never look at Maki the same way again


Ryoma: Understandable, have a great day


Rantaro: maybe they want a blood sacrifice


Kaede: nO


Miu: keebs, make some popcorn. this is fucking GOLDEN

[Chat: H O P E]


Chiaki: whats going on now? i hear lots of screaming,,,


Nagito: The common room is devoid of hope disappointing


Gundham: My fellow Sister of Darkness has informed me that she is conducting a test of spiritual courage tonight.


Hiyoko: translation, dark weirdo??


Sonia: Oh! Who, may I ask, is this fellow Sister of Darkness?


Gundham: ‘Tis the fair maiden Ludenberg-san.


Hajime: if anyone needs me, i’ll be in my room regretting my life decisions


Chiaki: mood

Chapter Text

[Chat: Welcome to hell]


Makoto: celeste, pls retrieve ur son


Celestia: Oh? What did he do?


Makoto: hes glitter-bombing everyone while yelling “gay rights”


Celestia: In that case, he has my blessing


Leon: LMAO


Makoto: kyoko pls reason with her


Kyoko: No no, I agree


Kyoko: LGBTQ+ rights


Aoi: impromptu pride parade? im in!


Makoto: guys please


Junko: glitterprideparade.png


Junko: this is chaos and i am LOVING it!!!


Celestia: I have taught my children well


Sayaka: Omg this is gr8


Makoto: kill me

[Chat: H O P E]




Hiyoko: over-enthusiastic much?


Mahiru: Hiyoko, be nice


Hajime: so that’s why naegi is lying on the floor crying


Chiaki: he does that a lot recently


Nagito: Ah, such hope~




Nagito: Thank you for the offer, Mioda-san, but I have my own flag.


Nagito: nagitowearingrainbowscarf.png


Nagito: And a new scarf :)


Chiaki: nice


Sonia: That is a very nice scarf, Nagito!


Hajime: looks good


Chiaki: literally almost everyone has joined in the pride parade and makoto looks so done


Hajime: yeah i feel kinda bad for him






Chiaki: coming

[Private message: Komaru > Toko]


Komaru: hey toko


Komaru: whats going on


Komaru: i think my brothers gonna have an aneurysm


Toko: That idiot Ouma started a pride parade in the hallways and no one’s stopping him.


Komaru: that sounds so fun! im coming over rn!!


Toko: Komaru no


Komaru: komaru yes :)


Komaru: ill bring a flag for u 2


Toko: ...You can’t make me


Komaru: ik where ur dorm room is

[Chat: BEST CLASS!! ☆*:.。.o(≧▽≦)o.。.:*☆]


Kokichi: i regret nothing ╮(︶▽︶)╭


Shuichi: i regret everything


Kaede: Oh come on, Shuichi! It was fun!!


Maki: Thanks for making me that poster, Angie


Angie: It was no problem!~


Rantaro: yknow somehow im not surprised that maki is ace


Kaede: Yeah she just gives off that kinda vibe


Maki: Thanks?...


Tenko: tenko thinks that harukawa-san is very valid!!! 


Kokichi: here it comes!


Miu: 3


Angie: 2!


K1-B0: Sigh




Tenko: it just proves that women don’t need a degenerate male in their lives!!




Kokichi: and here we see a lesbian feminist in her natural habitat


Rantaro: actually, i think tenkos a misandrist


Kaede: That actually explains a lot


Gonta: Hello, friends! 


Angie: Hello Gonta!~


Kaede: Hihi


Maki: Resident angel melting everyone’s hearts


Kokichi: Σ(°ロ°)


Kokichi: makiroll being soft??!!


Rantaro: more likely than u think


Kokichi: ヾ(・ω・)メ(・ω・)ノ


Maki: Do you wanna die?


Kokichi: you would kill ur own brother? o(TヘTo)


Maki: Try me, bitch


Maki: I won’t hesitate


Kaede: Maki memeing??


Rantaro: more likely than u think

Chapter Text

[Chat: Welcome to hell]


Makoto: celestia?! why is kyoko telling me you adopted another child?!?


Sayaka: Ooh! Who is it??


Celestia: Kotoko Utsugi, the Lil’ Ultimate Drama. Her father is an abusive asshole and her mom basically prostitutes herself and Kotoko to earn money


Junko: O_o


Makoto: nvm


Celestia: That’s what I thought


Celestia: Anyways, I’ll be bringing Kotoko over later to have tea with me, do not scare her off


Sayaka: Ofc we won’t!


Aoi: i love kids!! :DD


Celestia: She has a few emotional triggers, so here are a list of rules when she’s around


Junko: damn, celeste over here being a true mom lmaoo XD


Celestia: 1) Do not use the word ‘gentle’, in any context, around her. She will freak out and I will kill you :)


Aoi: i feel scared now ;-;


Celestia: 2) Don’t be a creep around her (looking at you, Yamada). She’s had bad experiences already


Hifumi: Im not that bad!


Celestia: Yes you are


Kyoko: ^^


Kyoko: Also note that if any of you do trigger her, I will be helping Celes in ensuring that your body will never be found


Aoi: yk what ill just stay out of the dorms this afternoon


Leon: same


Celestia: 3) Don’t baby her. She hates it when people pity her, and while this may not trigger anything, I will still make your life living hell


Makoto: got it


Chihiro: understood!


Celestia: Good

[Chat: Dysfunctional family]


-Kyoko added Kotoko to the chat-


Celestia: Greetings, Kotoko


Celestia: Did you enjoy your day?


Kotoko: yep yep! it was super fun!! i love ur cat!!!!!


Kokichi: (o_O) !


Kokichi: u have a cat?!?


Kokichi: and u didnt tell me?? (。T ω T。)


Maki: Shut up, gremlin


Celestia: Yes, I have a cat


Celestia: grandboisludenberg.png


Kyoko: Before we face any awkward situations, I wanted to ask if any of you have significant others


Kotoko: whats that?


Kyoko: Are you dating anyone


Kotoko: i dont think so??


Maki: I’m aroace


Maki: But ik the gremlin is dating Saihara


Kokichi: makiroll why would u out me like that (T_T)


Maki: Stop calling me that


Kokichi: no <3


Kyoko: Saihara? As in the other Ultimate Detective?


Kokichi: yep!


Kyoko: Oh my god my son is dating my apprentice


Kyoko: Now I understand why he’s been so awkward lately


Celestia: Do you need some tea?


Kyoko: Yes please


Maki: Great job, gremlin, you’ve killed Saihara and Kirigiri


Kotoko: killed???


Maki: Metaphorically


Kokichi: its so fun tho ( ̄ω ̄)


Kotoko: what r those face thingys?


Kokichi: (╯✧▽✧)╯


Kokichi: i have so much to teach u >:3


Maki: This family is crazy

Chapter Text

[Chat: H O P E] 


Hajime: i can’t believe it, but we are officially the sanest class now


Ibuki: D:


Ibuki: HOW????


Nagito: We must reclaim our title!


Sonia: Does anyone have anything planned?


Hajime: before you guys do anything, we do not want a repeat of the aphrodisiac incident @Teruteru 


Teruteru: That wasn’t my fault! Blame Mdm. Saionji here


Hiyoko: ehehhe


Mahiru: I’ll keep an eye on her


Hajime: thanks


Hajime: i’ll take my leave now, so i can claim plausible deniability




Nagito: Such hope!


Akane: whatre we gonna do?

[Chat: BEST CLASS!! ☆*:.。.o(≧▽≦)o.。.:*☆]


Shuichi: i- did tanaka-san bring a fucking zoo inside?????


Maki: Must be pretty bad if the emo swore


Shuichi: look at it!!! there’s an entire ELEPHANT on the field!!!


Rantaro: thats interesting


Kaede: Im gonna talk with Hinata-senpai


Shuichi: please hurry


Shuichi: a monkey just stole my hat


Kokichi: ( : ౦ ‸ ౦ : )


Kokichi: hatless shumai?? must see!!!!


Miu: @Maki do you know that toko chick??


Maki: No, why would I?


Miu: i just thought since ur both like serial killers




-Maki has left the chat-


Kaede: Miu, seriously?!


Miu: what did i do??


Kokichi: fuck u, thats what


Kokichi: ill go find her, dont follow us


-Kokichi has left the chat-


Shuichi: that...wasn’t very nice, iruma-san


Miu: what??? it was just a question!


Ryoma: I agree with Saihara


Ryoma: Harukawa didn’t become a killer by choice, unlike me


Kaede: You should apologise


Miu: fine...when she decides to come back, that is

[Private message: Kokichi > Maki] 


Kokichi: u ok?


Maki: Why do you care


Kokichi: dont forget i was in the same orphanage as u




Maki: I’m fine


Maki: I’m probably making a big deal out of nothing, anyways


Kokichi: its not nothing


Kokichi: ur feelings matter


Maki: Thanks, gremlin


Kokichi: this never happened


Maki: Sure


Maki: I should probably go back to the group chat before the other idiots get worried


Kokichi: just realised i left the gc too so i cant add u back :p


Maki: I’ll just text Kaede ig


Kokichi: sure ur ok?


Maki: I will be


Maki: Rmb we have a pop quiz later


Kokichi: (″ロ゛)


Kokichi: OH SHIT


Maki: Lol


Kokichi: can u lend me ur notes ( ╥ω╥ )


Maki: Don’t tell anyone


Kokichi: thx makiroll


Maki: I told you not to call me that


Kokichi: would u prefer i call u onee-chan?


Maki: Fuck no


Kokichi: too bad then (ノ´ヮ`)ノ*: ・゚


Maki: 凸( ̄ヘ ̄)


Kokichi: i c i have influenced u :D


Maki: Shut up or I won’t lend you my notes


Kokichi: ─=≡Σ((( つ><)つ

[Private message: Miu > Maki]


Miu: listen up, flat chest


Miu: im sorry for earlier


Miu: that was shitty of me


Maki: It’s fine


Maki: I’ve heard worse


Miu: eh


Miu: still shitty


Maki: Whatever


Maki: Do I need to remind you about the pop quiz later, too?


Miu: F U C K

Chapter Text

[Chat: Welcome to hell]


Makoto: id like to know why im the only one whose twitter acc isnt verified


Byakuya: It’s because you don’t have an actual talent


Makoto: but komaeda-senpai has the same talent as me???


Sayaka: No offense, Makoto, but Nagito-senpai has much better luck than u :p


Byakuya: Indeed. Not like luck is much of an Ultimate Talent anyways


Makoto: ur 1 to talk


Makoto: ‘ultimate heir’. what kind of title is that??


Makoto: what would u even do to be considered the ultimate heir???? compete with other rich kids to see who can throw the most money in the air?????


Makoto: and what do u do in the practical part of the exams???




Junko: tell him eggi!!!! XD


Kyoko: As amusing as this is, I am curious to know what kind of practicals everyone does 


Yasuhiro: i just hace to read a ckrystal ball and tell he examinners what i c ad tehy judge how acdcuteate i am


Aoi: taka would die reading that lmao


Junko: lmaooo


Makoto: is taka not in this chat?


Junko: nah


Sayaka: Both Taka and Mondo aren’t in the chat, idk why


Aoi: i think it was so that a fight would be less likely to break out


Aoi: besides, we have another official sch chat with all of us inside


Makoto: oic. i always 4get abt the other gc since its pretty inactive


Kyoko: Anyways, what do you do for the practical, Naegi?


Makoto: komaeda-senpai and i have to test our luck by playing luck-based games and seeing the outcome


Makoto: celeste played with us a few times too


Celestia: If I recall correctly, Kirigiri-sensei played once, but lost spectacularly and never played again.


Junko: wait, really???


Makoto: yeah XD


Celestia: For me, I travel to underground gambling rings and see how many I can bankrupt in a week


Aoi: that sounds dangerous!!


Celestia: Oh, it is. However, I have grown up in such places and thus know how to handle myself. You do not need to worry yourself, Asahina dear


Kyoko: She says, as if she has never come back completely hungover before




Celestia: I will not confirm nor deny such claims

[Chat: BEST CLASS!! ☆*:.。.o(≧▽≦)o.。.:*☆]


Kokichi: exams r coming ▓▒░(°◡°)░▒▓


Maki: What even is that


Shuichi: don’t ask


Rantaro: kirumi would be reminding us to study about now


Kaede: Is Kirumi even in this chat? I never see her


Shuichi: she is, she’s just really busy most of the time


Maki: Can confirm, she once passed out because she didn’t get enough rest due to her work


Rantaro: she needs to get more rest


Ryoma: That’s a lost cause, Tried it before


Kaede: Maybe we could put together a package for her?


Kokichi: that sounds bo-ring ┐( ̄ヘ ̄)┌


Shuichi: kokichi…


Kokichi: fine, fine. but we still have our exams coming up


Miu: never thought the tiny rat bastard would be the one to care about the exams


Kokichi: wowww so rude :’(


Maki: The gremlin finally has someone who will be proud of him and doesn’t want to disappoint her


Kokichi: why would u tell them that??? ↑_(ΦwΦ)Ψ


Kaede: Thats...surprisingly wholesome


Maki: It’s the truth


Kokichi: as if ur not trying to do the same thing




Kaito: you can do it, sidekick! i believe in you!


Tenko: tenko believes in you too, harukawa-san!!!!!!!


Maki: Thanks?...


Kokichi: saihara-chan!! our classmates r bullying meeeeeeeee (╥_╥)


Shuichi: i can’t be bothered to deal with this

Chapter Text

[Chat: BEST CLASS!! ☆*:.。.o(≧▽≦)o.。.:*☆]


Kaede: Maki, are you ok?


Shuichi: yeah, you don’t look too good


Maki: I’m fine


Maki: Besides, we need to study for the exams


Rantaro: u shouldnt overwork urself tho


Maki: I said I’m fine


Kaede: You clearly arent


Maki: Guys stop worrying about me, it’s probably just a small cold or something


Rantaro: @Kirumi


Rantaro: harukawas sick but is being very stupid about it


Maki: I’m not. We need to study


Kirumi: Oh dear. Gokuhara-san, please carry Harukawa-san to her room now.


Maki: Stop


Kirumi: I cannot do that, You are clearly unwell and need rest.


Gonta: Gonta wants Harukawa-san to get better!


Kaede: Please just rest, Maki




Kokichi: REST (╬ Ò﹏Ó)


Maki: Fine. One day


Kirumi: I shall bring up some chicken soup for you later.


Kaito: i can lend you my notes!


Maki: No thanks. I don’t trust your notes


Kaede: I can lend you mine?


Maki: Thanks


Kirumi: Alright then. Are you in your room already?


Maki: Yep. Gonta put me on my bed and I don’t have the energy to get up


Rantaro: thats not a good sign


Maki: I guess


Kirumi: Do you want some water?


Maki: Gonta already got me some


Gonta: Get better soon, Harukawa-san!


Kaede: ^^


Rantaro: get better soon :)


Kokichi: u better recover


Miu: LMAO the gremlin being passive-aggressively nice


Miu: but hope u feel better ig


Miu: keebs says the same


Shuichi: hope you recover soon 


Maki: Thanks


Korekiyo: Kekekeke~


Korekiyo: I wish you a speedy recovery, Harukawa

[Chat: red eye girls club]


Maki: I will be unable to participate in our weekly scaring session


Celestia: Oh? Are you alright?


Maki: Just a little sick


Celestia: I’m coming over


Celestia: Kyoko is with me


Maki: Don’t you have class?


Celestia: Fuck school


Maki: I- ok


Peko: Get well soon, Harukawa-san


Maki: Thanks

[Private message: Kirumi > Maki]


Kirumi: Do you prefer carrots or potatoes in your soup?


Maki: Idc, I’m not picky


Kirumi: Then would you like me to add both?


Maki: Sure


Maki: Thanks for doing this btw


Kirumi: It is no problem. After all, it’s my duty as the Ultimate Maid to ensure my classmates’ well-being.


Maki: Alright


Maki: Kyoko and Celestia are in my room rn


Maki: So they can open the door for you later


Kirumi: I am glad to hear that you are being taken care of.


Maki: Mm. They are strangely protective of Kokichi, Kotoko and I


Maki: It feels...nice


Maki: To know that someone cares about you, I guess


Kirumi: That is good.


Kirumi: I will be coming up with the soup in about ten minutes.


Maki: Ok. Thanks

[Chat: H O P E]


Hajime: the 79th class is strangely quiet today


Hajime: i’m not sure if i should be relieved that there’s nothing going on or scared that they’re planning something


Peko: You do not need to worry


Peko: Harukawa-san is sick today and her classmates are too busy worrying about her to cause trouble, at least for today


Chiaki: thats good,,,i think


Sonia: Please tell her that we hope she recovers soon!


Peko: Will do


Hajime: it is odd that the 78th class is being quiet too 


Peko: Ludenberg-san and Kirigiri-san are busy taking care of Harukawa-san


Peko: So I believe you have a reason to worry there






Hajime: that’s my cue to leave ✌


Sonia: I would like to try this weed!


Mahiru: Please dont




Sonia: Thank you!

Chapter Text

[Chat: BEST CLASS!! ☆*:.。.o(≧▽≦)o.。.:*☆]


Rantaro: hey mugi


Rantaro: out of curiosity, whats ur fav anime?


Rantaro: srry, that was meant to be a pm


Kaede: Its fine, I wanna know too!!


Tsumugi: Really?


Kaede: Yeah!!! Maybe I could watch a few after the exams!!


Kokichi: no


Kokichi: get ur weeb stuff outta here ←~(Ψ▼ー▼)∈


Shuichi: kichi be nice


Tsumugi: Well, I don’t really have a favorite. There are just so many animes, I can’t choose just one!


Gonta: Oh! Gonta feels the same way about his bugs!!


Kokichi: gross


Maki: Gremlin, I may be sick, but I will chase you down for hurting the one pure student here


Kokichi: u cant. Mom 1 and Mom 2 wont let u


Maki: You’re right. Guess I’ll just sic Peko-senpai on you


Kokichi: shutting up


Tsumugi: Anyways, I do have a few animes I highly recommend


Tsumugi: If you intend to watch a longer anime with multiple seasons, I would suggest Shingeki no Kyojin or Boku no Hero Academia


Tsumugi: Personally, I prefer Shingeki no Kyojin as it sticks more closely to the original plot, and the characters are great


Tsumugi: But Boku no Hero Academia has its own charm, and I really enjoy the villains in it


Kaede: The villains?


Tsumugi: Yes! The villains have such creative backstories that make the audience empathise with them more. My favorite character in the anime is actually Toga Himiko, who is a villain with shapeshifting powers


Rantaro: sounds interesting


Rantaro: maybe ill try it during the sch hols


Tsumugi: You should!


Tsumugi: And if you want a shorter anime, I’d recommend Ansatsu Kyoushitsu, Kimetsu no Yaiba and Kiznaiver. All of them have amazing art styles and plots which I liked


Kaede: They must be really good if you liked them that much


Rantaro: do u have any animes that u hate?


Tsumugi: Hate is a rather strong word, I feel


Tsumugi: Every anime has at least one aspect that I enjoyed


Kaede: But were there any that you disliked?


Tsumugi: Well, I didn’t really like the plot for Enen no Shouboutai. The pacing is a little rushed, too


Tsumugi: But the animation and general idea of the anime was pretty cool


Angie: Oh? Angie heard you discussing art and wanted to participate!


Kaede: We were talking about some animes Tsumugi recommended


Tsumugi: For Yonaga-chan, I think you would enjoy a short, yet deep anime like Kiznaiver. The animation in it might also appeal to your inner artist!


Angie: Atua thanks you for your thoughtfulness! Angie will be sure to try it!~ :3


Rantaro: maybe we could arrange an anime watching session after the exams?


Kaede: That sounds fun! What does everyone think? @Everyone


Gonta: Gonta just wants to have fun with friends! Gonta thinks it sounds like good bonding experience


Kokichi: not unless my beloved shumai goes too~ (´ ε ` )♡


Shuichi: sure


Kokichi: yay! we can cuddle under a blanket together!! (♡°▽°♡)


Korekiyo: This will be an excellent opportunity to observe human behavior, kekeke.


Kaito: stop talking like you aren’t human too!


Kaito: and i think it’s a great idea to get closer with each other!


Ryoma: I don’t care


Himiko: nyeh,,,i might fall asleep watching though,,,


Kaede: That’s fine! Whatever you’re comfortable with!!


Himiko: i guess i’ll show up,,,


Tenko: i will go to protect yumeno-san from any degenerate males!!!


Miu: fucking called it


Miu: i suppose i shall grace you all with my wondrous presence


Kokichi: lol, funny joke


K1-B0: I do not mind going.


Kirumi: I can prepare the snacks.


Maki: Whatever


Maki: Make sure to study for the exams first though


Kaede: Ofc!!


Kaede: Its decided then!!!!


Tsumugi: Ahhh! I’m so pleased you all will be introduced to the wonders of anime culture!!!


Kokichi: stupid weeb


Rantaro: were all japanese tho??


Kokichi: dont give a fuck


Maki: Wheels on the bus


Kaede: You listen to Melanie Martinez? :0


Maki: Sometimes


Rantaro: every time maki does things like this, i fall off my chair laughing


Maki: Do you wanna die


Rantaro: not particularly


Maki: I hope you break your tailbone falling off the chair


Kaede: Maki please


Kokichi: THATS MY SISTER!!!!! ╰(*´︶`*)╯

Chapter Text

[Chat: BEST CLASS!! ☆*:.。.o(≧▽≦)o.。.:*☆]


Kaede: Hey Maki, still sick?


Maki: Unfortunately


Kirumi: I suggest you see Tsumiki-san, or an actual doctor.


Maki: Yeah ok


Maki: I feel pretty bad


Kaede: Didnt even put up a fight? Wow, you must be really sick


Maki: Don’t remind me


Maki: I had trouble just going to the bathroom by myself


Kirumi: Do you require food or water?


Maki: I don’t think I can eat


Rantaro: ill get tsumiki


Gonta: Does Harukawa-san need any help?


Kirumi: She has a fever, an ice pack may help.


Gonta: Gonta will get one!


Kaede: Oh fuck


Shuichi: what happened?


Kokichi: makiroll just threw up


Kaede: How do you know?


Kokichi: im sitting in the vents, keeping an eye on my dear sister ofc ( ´ ∀ `)ノ~ ♡


Kirumi: If you are free, please get Harukawa-san a glass of water.


Kokichi: k


Rantaro: im coming back with tsumiki


Kaede: Thank god


Angie: *Atua


Kaede: Not the time

[Chat: H O P E]


Chiaki: wheres mikan?


Nagito: Amami-kun came and took her away to see his sick classmate. The care he displays for full of hope!


Hiyoko: shut up, basket-case


Hajime: ah, is it harukawa-san? peko said that she was unwell


Sonia: I should think so, unless someone else caught it from Harukawa-chan


Mikan: ssssorryy iii’m laaate


Hajime: it’s fine, you were helping someone


Peko: How is Harukawa-san?


Mikan: shhhee’ll bbe finnne


Mikan: iiit wwwass juuust a stttomaach bbbug


Chiaki: good to know






Mikan: thaaankks

[Private message: Komaru > Celestia]


Komaru: thx for agreeing to take care of the kids :)


Celestia: It is no problem. After all, they are friends with my daughter


Komaru: how is harukawa-senpai?


Celestia: Still unwell, but her classmates are doing a decent job looking after her


Komaru: thats good :D


Komaru: class spirit!


Celestia: Mm


Komaru: anyways, gotta get ready for my date with toki!!


Celestia: Fukawa-san likes strawberry lip gloss


Komaru: 😅


Komaru: thx for the tip


Celestia: Enjoy your date

[Chat: Welcome to hell]


Celestia: I am bringing five kids over to the dorms, including Kotoko


Makoto: y????


Celestia: Your sister is out on a date and left the safety of the children to me


Makoto: o right she looks after them


Makoto: wait, a DATE???


Celestia: Indeed


Celestia: Anyways, please be nice to these kids, they, like Kotoko, have a history of trauma and have similar emotional triggers


Aoi: can do!


Aoi: i bought donuts for them!


Celestia: I am leaving them with you for a moment while I feed my cat. I trust that you will not do anything too stupid


Sayaka: You can trust us!


Leon: no she cant




Celestia: I have not even been gone for a minute


Aoi: i’m sorry!!


Aoi: i gave them the donuts and they started going crazy!!!


Aoi: Jataro, Masaru and Kotoko are running through the kitchen screaming


Celestia: What about the other two?


Aoi: uhh


Aoi: Nagisa is sitting in the common room watching a nature documentary


Sayaka: Thats unexpected


Aoi: and Monaca is sitting at the kitchen doorway giggling


Aoi: she just turned around and whispered ‘despair’ in the creepiest voice imaginable


Aoi: i’m scared


Junko: celestia get the adoption papers!!!! im adopting this child :DDDD


Celestia: After we clean up this mess


Leon: sayaka-chan, we have to adopt masaru


Sayaka: Why?


Leon: look at him!! he literally looks like our secret lovechild!!!!


Sayaka: Never say that again


Sayaka: But ok


Kyoko: Celeste, we’re adopting Nagisa


Aoi: two juniors from the 79th class came in and joined the kids


Aoi: and now one of them wants to adopt Jataro


Celestia: I should have seen this coming. Who are the juniors?


Aoi: Ouma and Yonaga. Yonaga wants to adopt Jataro


Celestia: Don’t destroy the dorms while I procure the adoption papers

[Private message: Komaru > Celestia]


Komaru: how were they?


Celestia: Certainly very odd and in need of therapy, but nice children


Celestia: Also, they all managed to be adopted


Komaru: ????


Celestia: Enoshima took Monaca because, and I quote, “DESPAIR”. Kuwata and Maizono took Masaru since he apparently “looks like their secret lovechild”. Yonaga from the 79th class took Jataro because they’re “both quirky artists”. And Kyoko convinced me that we needed to adopt Nagisa


Komaru: im not sure if im happy for them or just rlly confused


Celestia: Adoption papers have already been signed


Komaru: ill deal with this tmr


Komaru: but thx for looking after them


Celestia: Oh, your brother is probably hunting for you since you apparently did not tell him you were dating Fukawa-san


Komaru: o shit


Komaru: 💨💨💨

Chapter Text

[Private message: Mikan > Rantaro]


Mikan: ummm


Rantaro: what is it, tsumiki-san?


Mikan: i dddddid aa revvvalllluaaationn ooof hhharrukaaawa-sann’ssss sickkkkneess annnd itt maay bbbee moreeee serriousss thaaannn a stooomacch bugg


Mikan: iiii thhinkkkk sheee mayy haave an inntestinaaal disseaaseee


Mikan: sheee needdds tto go tooo thhe hossspitaal immmmeddiatelly


Rantaro: thx for letting me know, ill call an ambulance asap


Mikan: iiiii’m sorrrryy i diddn’tt dddddo a goooodd jobb


Rantaro: u did the best u could, dont apologise

[Chat: BEST CLASS!! ☆*:.。.o(≧▽≦)o.。.:*☆]


Rantaro: bad news


Rantaro: tsumiki said that harukawas illness is actually an intestinal disease


Rantaro: the ambulance is otw


Kaede: Fuck


Kirumi: Oh dear.


Gonta: Harukawa-san is asleep! Should Gonta wake her up?


Rantaro: no, let her sleep


Kaede: Fuck fuck fuck


Kaede: What should we do?


Rantaro: wait until the ambulance gets here. 


Kirumi: Perhaps a few of us can direct the paramedics to Harukawa-san’s dorm room?


Rantaro: good idea


Shuichi: i can do that


Ryoma: I’ll help


Kirumi: Chabashira-san, could you make sure none of the other students come over to our dorms?


Tenko: of course!!!!


Shuichi: the ambulance just arrived. we’re sending them up now


Kirumi: Noted.


Kokichi: makirolls gonna be ok, right?


Kirumi: Hopefully.


Kokichi: i


Kokichi: ill be in my room

[Chat: BEST CLASS!! ☆*:.。.o(≧▽≦)o.。.:*☆]


Rantaro: hows maki?


Kirumi: Luckily, she was able to get treatment immediately so she’s fine. However, she needs to stay in the hospital for at least 3 days for the doctors to keep an eye on her.


Kirumi: Hold on, I’ll give her her phone back


Maki: Hey


Kaede: Maki!!!


Shuichi: glad to see you’re ok


Maki: I feel better already but the doctors won’t let me return to the dorms


Rantaro: its just in case ur condition gets worse, right?


Maki: Yeah ig. The hospital’s boring though


Maki: Hold on


Kaede: ????


Maki: Ok I’m back. The gremlin climbed the side of the building and came in through the window


Shuichi: kokichi???


Kaede: Howd you do that?!?!


Kokichi: practice ヽ(*・ω・)ノ


Rantaro: ig those two rlly r closer than they seem


Maki: Die


Kokichi: celes and kyoko would have come too, but they needed to take care of koko and nagi


Maki: They both sent me at least 50 texts each though


Maki: Kotoko and Nagisa sent a few too


Miu: guess the dysfunctional family isnt that dysfunctional after all :p


Kaede: Thats really sweet!


Maki: Yeah

[Chat: Welcome to hell]


Celestia: Maki is in the hospital, so each and every single one of you is going to sign this get-well-soon card for her


Makoto: sure?? but whys she in the hospital????


Celestia: Intestinal disease


Celestia: Now shut up and sign this


Sayaka: Yes, maam!!

[Chat: H O P E]


-Peko has added Celestia into the chat-


Celestia: You are all going to come down to the common room to sign this get-well-soon card for Maki or I’ll hunt you down and stuff wasabi up your nose


Hajime: creative threat


Celestia: I try

[Chat: BEST CLASS!! ☆*:.。.o(≧▽≦)o.。.:*☆]


Maki: Celestia just dropped by to give me a card with every single student’s signature saying ‘get well soon’


Kaede: Awwww


Maki: I want to ask but I’m also too scared to


Miu: hah? is the goth bitch that scary?


Kokichi: yes


Maki: Yes


Rantaro: i mean, shes a professional gambler who has bet her life on a game and bankrupts people for a living


Rantaro: id say yes


Kaede: When she looks at me I want to apologise even when I havent done anything


Shuichi: i saw her having a game of russian roulette with komaeda-senpai


Ryoma: She’s gotten at least two people expelled before


Miu: point taken

Chapter Text

[Chat: BEST CLASS!! ☆*:.。.o(≧▽≦)o.。.:*☆]


Ryoma: Akamatsu


Ryoma: You might want to stop our classmates from murdering this poor individual


Kaede: What did they do?


Ryoma: He saw Saihara and Ouma walking together and made some homophobic comments


Kaede: Guess who’s going down to beat up a motherfucker


Ryoma: I tried


Kirumi: Please do not get yourselves arrested. I do not have enough money to bail all of you out of jail.


Rantaro: lol


Maki: Wish I was there


Rantaro: want a description of whats happening?


Maki: Please


Rantaro: aight so kokichi just kicked the guys crotch


Rantaro: shuichi punched him in the face - wow, hes surprisingly strong- and the guys nose started bleeding


Maki: Nice


Rantaro: kaede showed up


Rantaro: oh wow she just stomped the guy into the ground


Rantaro: and celestia is here for some reason too??? shes busy stuffing the guys nostrils with wasabi and kokichis helping her


Rantaro: they pinched the guys nose with a clip, got chabashira to carry him to the lake (she was not gentle) and threw him in


Rantaro: celestia informed me that fujisaki has edited all the camera footage and kyoko hid all the evidence so they wont be caught


Rantaro: so u dont have to worry, kirumi


Kirumi: Good to know.


Maki: I feel extra bored now


Kokichi: not for much longer (*≧ω≦*)


Maki: What is that supposed to mean?


Kokichi: 10mins


Maki: ...What?


Kokichi: ull c („• ᴗ •„)

[Chat: BEST CLASS!! ☆*:.。.o(≧▽≦)o.。.:*☆]


Maki: Guess what, fuckers


Maki: I have a cat now


Maki: pictureofmakiscat.png


[Description: 3 month old kitten, female, Green-eyed, orange tabby with cream paws and chest. The pinkest of toe beans]


Kaede: So Kokichis surprise was a cat?


Kokichi: technically its from celestia, she just asked me to deliver it


Maki: Her name is Hayami


Tsumugi: :00000




Maki: Yeah. I liked that one




Kokichi: no. i did not come all the way to the hospital to deliver this cat, just to have u name it after a fucking anime character


Maki: Hey


Maki: I’m the one in the hospital


Maki: So I do what I want, bitch


Himiko: cute cat


Maki: Thanks


Gonta: Gonta thinks Harukawa-san’s cat looks like tiny tiger!


Kaede: Thats a cute description


Maki: Yes, she’s an intimidating, murderous fluffball of adorableness


Rantaro: i didnt know u like cats


Maki: Our orphanage used to have a stray cat that hung around for food scraps


Kokichi: that little fucker scratched me


Maki: I did warn you not to pet it


Kokichi: (¬_¬)


Maki: Anyway what happened to that guy you beat up


Kokichi: idk


Shuichi: maybe he died


Tenko: hopefully

Chapter Text

[Chat: BEST CLASS!! ☆*:.。.o(≧▽≦)o.。.:*☆]


Maki: Coming back to the dorms with my cat today


Kokichi: didnt miss u


Maki: Liar


Kokichi: nishishishi~ ( ̄ω ̄)


Kaede: Welcome back!! :D


Maki: Still not fully recovered, so I get to skip my practical since it has a lot of physical activity


Kokichi: lucky (╥﹏╥)


Maki: You get an intestinal disease then


Shuichi: glad you’re better, harukawa-san


Kirumi: Reminder that exams start in two days.


Maki: Fuck


Maki: Need to study


Kaede: I can help you!


Kaito: so can i!


Maki: I’ll accept Akamatsu’s help


Kaito: :(


Kokichi: ferrets to brighten ur day 


Kokichi: threeferretswearingtinysweaters.png  


Tsumugi: Ahhhh! So kawaii!!


Kokichi: weeb


Rantaro: were all japanese


Kokichi: shh („• ᴗ •„)


Kaede: Are those yours?


Kokichi: yep! their names r grape, panta and ‘bitch why’


Kokichi: i got grape and panta first


Rantaro: couldnt tell


Gonta: Oh! Are friends showing off pets?


Kokichi: ig ┐(シ)┌


Gonta: Gonta have bug friends! 


Gonta: severalterrariumsfilledwithbugs.png


Maki: That’s very nice 


Tsumugi: I have a dog at home


Ryoma: I have at least 5 cats


Ryoma: And a goldfish that they keep trying to eat


Maki: I can empathize with that goldfish


Kaede: Thats depressing

[Chat: H O P E]


Chiaki: the 79th class seem very excited today,,,


Peko: Harukawa-san just got back from the hospital


Chiaki: oh ok


Akane: i cant get math!!


Chiaki: i can help u if u want


Akane: pls


Chiaki: anyone who needs help, come to the library in 30 mins


Sonia: I require some assistance in Japanese


Gundham: I would be glad to assist you 


Sonia: Oh, thank you


Hiyoko: simp


Akane: nah, thats souda


Hiyoko: @Souda ur a fucking simp


Souda: ehhh?? y am i being attacked suddenly???


Akane: cause ur a simp


Hajime: that logic seems a little flawed


Chiaki: rmb all the times he gushed to u about sonias hair


Hajime: you right


Hajime: carry on


Souda: no! my soul brother has abandoned me!! :’(


Hiyoko: lol

[Chat: Welcome to hell]




Sayaka: mukuroeatingicecream.png




Leon: ur dating ikusaba??? since when???


Celestia: Since 5 months ago


Sayaka: What she said ^^


Leon: but-


Leon: what about our kid?


Leon: does he mean nothing to u?


Sayaka: Do we need to be dating to raise a kid together?


Makoto: i mean that is typically the norm


Sayaka: Fuck the norm


Sayaka: Cant we just be a couple of besties who happen to be raising a child together?


Leon: i guess...


Sayaka: Great! :)


Junko: LMAO sayaka the slayer XDDDD


Mukuro: I love her <3


Sayaka: Awww, I love you too Muku <3333

Chapter Text

[Chat: BEST CLASS!! ☆*:.。.o(≧▽≦)o.。.:*☆]


Kokichi: exams r over!!!!! °˖✧◝(⁰▿⁰)◜✧˖°


Maki: Yay


Kaede: What did you guys do for your practicals? I had 10 minutes to learn and play an improvised version of a piano piece


Rantaro: that sounds difficult


Kaede: It was! But I thought it went well :)


Shuichi: i had an hour to solve a fake case about a murder. classic, really


Korekiyo: Kekekeke~


Korekiyo: I was required to write a twenty page essay about how ancient culture has impacted modern society. It was most fascinating


Kaede: Thats cool


Kokichi: i… *drumroll noises* recruited the warriors of hope into dice!!


Shuichi: kichi, that’s not funny


Rantaro: what did u actually do?


Kokichi: wahhhhh! y dont u believe me??? (。T ω T。)


Kaede: Because theres no way the teachers let you do that for your practical




Maki: Gremlin, we need to talk


Kokichi: oh no im scared 〣( ºΔº )〣

[Private message: Maki > Kokichi]


Maki: I have the feeling that you’re not lying about recruiting the WOH


Kokichi: woww, how ever did u find out?


Maki: As much as it pains me, I am technically your sister now, and I’ve spent enough time around you to know


Maki: And somehow Saihara didn’t figure it out


Kokichi: ur right!!!! i wasnt lying ヽ(・∀・)ノ


Maki: Let me get this straight


Kokichi: neither u or i r straight


Maki: Shut up


Maki: You recruited a bunch of ten-year olds, including our two siblings, into your ‘evil secret organisation’??


Kokichi: yep yep!!!


Kokichi: playing environmentally friendly pranks since 1964 <( ̄︶ ̄)>


Maki: That's a lie


Kokichi: yes :DDDDD


Kokichi: its since the year 2010


Maki: Don’t put them in danger


Kokichi: wow, im so hurt u would doubt me (╥﹏╥)




Maki: And don’t put yourself in danger either, idiot


Kokichi: (°◡°♡)

[Chat: BEST CLASS!! ☆*:.。.o(≧▽≦)o.。.:*☆]


Kaede: There are animals running around the dorm


Kokichi: so perceptive, kayayday!!!


Shuichi: kokichi, did you do this


Kokichi: no


Maki: More lies


Kokichi: u got me (o^▽^o)


Gonta: Gonta’s bug friends gone! D: 


Kokichi: dw, i left them in their little glass cages so they wont run off or be squished


Kokichi: theyre on the table in the middle of the common room


Maki: Gremlin


Maki: Where the fuck is Hayami


Kokichi: prob the kitchen


Kirumi: Oh, is this cat yours?


Kirumi: hayamithecatsittingwithkirumi.png


Maki: Yeah. You like cats?


Kirumi: I  am quite fond of them. One of my previous clients had a cat. 




Korekiyo: Ah, that would be mine




Korekiyo: I will go retrieve her


Shuichi: there’s a goldfish in my room


Shuichi: why is there a goldfish in my room


Ryoma: Thanks for finding him


Shuichi: do you want me to bring it to your room?


Ryoma: Yes please. I’m trying to get a cat out from under my bed


Ryoma: Wait nevermind it’s not a cat


Kaede: What is it?


Ryoma: White tiger cub


Kaede: THE FUCK???


Himiko: thats mine




Himiko: shes my familiar,,,nyeh


Himiko: i have a bird too, but i left her with my mama


Ryoma: Your tiger is soft. She reminds me of my five cats


Angie: There are ferrets in Angie’s room!


Angie: Atua is truly wonderful~


Kokichi: fuck no, bitch


Kokichi: those ferrets mine


Shuichi: any other pets we need to know about?


Tenko: tenko has two rabbits!


Kaito: i found them!


Kaito: ow!!!


Kaede: You ok?


Kaito: the rabbit just kicked me in the face!


Tenko: tenko’s rabbits do not like males. tenko has been teaching them to fight!!


Kaede: So its ok for me to pick them up?


Tenko: that should be fine


Kaede: Got one of them. Maki, could you help get the other?


Maki: Alright


Maki: So that’s all the animals, right?


Rantaro: i have a tortoise, but i found her in the garden earlier


Kirumi: Then I believe so. Speaking of which, I still have your cat, Harukawa-san.


Maki: Thanks


Maki: Gremlin, why the fuck is my room filled with plushies


Kokichi: just wanted to get my favorite sister a present! ٩(◕‿◕。)۶


Maki: I hate you


Kokichi: no u dont


Kirumi: Do you require assistance cleaning up?


Maki: Only if you’re not busy


Kirumi: I have nothing to do presently. Besides, you are still recovering. 


Maki: K. Thanks

Chapter Text

[Chat: BEST CLASS!! ☆*:.。.o(≧▽≦)o.。.:*☆]


Miu: feast ur eyes on this baby!


Miu: weirdgunlookingthing.png


Kokichi: wtf is that, bitch


Miu: its an inter-dimensional transportation gun!


Miu: one zap of this baby, and boom! ur in a different dimension


Maki: Multiverses don’t exist


Miu: oh yeah? y dont u try it then?


Maki: No thanks


Kaede: Miu, if it does work, please dont use it on our classmates


Miu: wdym if it works?!?! its completely 100% functional!


K1-B0: I’m sure they believe you, Miu. However, their skepticism is not entirely unfounded, since nothing has been done to prove that the multiverse theory is real.


Miu: then i guess ill just be the first!


Maki: Sure


Maki: Forgot to mention earlier, but Celestia, Kyoko and I are part of an exchange student program in France


Kokichi: u guys r going w/o me??? o(TヘTo)


Maki: Do you know how to speak French?




Kaede: When are you leaving?


Maki: It’s in two weeks, for about 3 days


Shuichi: that sounds fun


Maki: We’ll see


Maki: In the meantime


Maki: Gremlin, you better take care of Kotoko and Nagisa


Kokichi: what kind of big bro do u think i am? im so hurt


Rantaro: dw, ill help him if things get too bad


Maki: Thanks


Kokichi: rude

[Private message: Maki > Kokichi]


Maki: Alright, spill


Maki: You’re acting weird and I want to know why


Kokichi: wdym? im perfectly a-ok!


Maki: That’s a lie




Maki: Sigh


Maki: Look, gremlin, you’re my little brother now, whether you like it or not. Just tell me, I promise I won’t judge


Kokichi: its stupid


Maki: It’s not stupid if it’s affecting you this much


Kokichi: lol


Kokichi: i rmb having this same conversation b4


Kokichi: when miu was being a bitch 


Maki: Gremlin


Kokichi: i just


Kokichi: idk im scared that ur all going to abandon me and going for an overseas exchange program is just an excuse for u to leave me behind


Kokichi: that sounds rlly stupid lmao


Maki: Kokichi.

Maki: None of us are going to abandon you


Maki: I said it already, didn’t I? You’re my little brother, whether you like it or not


Maki: And I don’t intend on leaving any of my siblings


Kokichi: thx


Maki: Now take care of Koko and Nagi while we’re gona, k?


Kokichi: ill have u know that i am an extremely responsible older sibling ( ̄ヘ ̄)


Kokichi: after all, im the ultimate supreme leader! what kind of leader would i be if i didnt take care of my underlings??


Maki: Alright, I trust you then


Kokichi: u do?


Maki: Hmm?


Kokichi: u trust me?


Maki: I guess


Maki: I mean I trust you not to kill our two siblings in the 3 days we’re gone


Kokichi: how do u know im not lying?


Maki: Listen


Maki: Ik you lie and joke around a lot, but I trust you to be able to take things seriously if you need to


Maki: So yes, I do trust you


Kokichi: <3


Maki: I don’t trust you not to play stupid pranks on me though


Kokichi: understandable, i wouldnt trust myself about that either

[Chat: Welcome to hell]


Kyoko: Maki, Celes and I will be gone for 3 days due to a foreign exchange program


Kyoko: We will leave next week


Aoi: that’s so cool! I wish i could go too :p


Makoto: is any1 else going w/ u?


Celestia: I believe the school council was intending to send Nevermind-senpai in place of Kyoko, but she declined


Sayaka: So its just the three of you?


Kyoko: Yes


Celestia: This means that Kokichi is in charge of taking care of Kotoko and Nagisa. Please offer your assistance if needed


Aoi: ofc! sakura-chan and i will def help :)


Sakura: Indeed


Kyoko: Don’t give them donuts again


Aoi: it was one time


Celestia: One time too many


Celestia: So if anything happens, you guys have to clean it up


Sayaka: Guess that means no glitter parade pt. 2


Celestia: I am willing to look past that one




Mukuro: K. Which colours?


Sayaka: A L L OF THEM


Mukuro: Hey sis, can I use your credit card


Junko: sure, sure, just give me that sweet chaos


Makoto: harukawa just handed me a poster abt ace awareness and walked off


Celestia: I’m so fucking proud of her


Celestia: Kokichi too

Chapter Text

[Chat: Welcome to hell]


Sayaka: Celeste, class has already started. Where are you?


Makoto: celeste, ur alr late


Aoi: are you sick???


Sayaka: Shes apparently read all the messages


Leon: so shes just ghosting us?


Makoto: celeste, this isnt funny. where r u??


Sayaka: Yeah, were worried


Aoi: @Kyoko do you know where she is?


Kyoko: No


Leon: do u think we should go to her dorm room?


Sayaka: Even if she is there, I dont think shell appreciate us barging in


Leon: u rite


Sayaka: Im sure shell respond eventually


Mukuro: Unless she got into an accident


Junko: wow, sis, dont be a party pooper


Aoi: but if she’s read the messages, that means she’s fine, right?


Sayaka: I hope so

[Private message: Sayaka > Celestia]


Sayaka: Celestia, are you ok????

[Private message: Leon > Celestia]


Leon: dude, where r u?

[Private message: Kiyotaka > Celestia]


Kiyotaka: Celestia, it is unbecoming of a student to be tardy! Please turn up soon!


Kiyotaka: Are you alright? I will gladly offer my assistance!

[Private message: Makoto > Celestia]


Makoto: idk y ur ghosting us, but if u need to talk u can always talk to us

[Private message: Kyoko > Celestia]


Kyoko: Are you alright? Our classmates are getting worried about you


Kyoko: Celestia, I know you’re reading this


Kyoko: Are you having an identity crisis again?


-Kyoko deleted one message-


Kyoko: Sorry, that was insensitive


Kyoko: Do you want me to come over? 


Celestia: Yes please


Kyoko: Coming over now

[Chat: Welcome to hell]


Makoto: now kyoko disappeared 2???


Kyoko: Celeste is in her dorm room


Kyoko: Don’t worry about us


Junko: OwO???


Mukuro: Ignore her


Junko: huh??? arent u curious??


Sayaka: Prying into their personal lives is just rude, Junko


Kyoko: We won’t be in class today


Makoto: k, should i tell the teacher?


Kyoko: No


Kyoko: But thanks

[Chat: BEST CLASS!! ☆*:.。.o(≧▽≦)o.。.:*☆]


Kaito: hey maki-roll, where are u?


Maki: Chilling with my bestie :p


Maki: And don't call me that


Maki: makiandkaedehangingout.png


Kokichi: i thought...i was ur bestie (。T ω T。)


Maki: No, you’re just my annoying little brother


Shuichi: akamatsu-san?


Kaede: Maki is my girl best friend!! Dw, Shuichi, youre my no. 1 ultimate bestie :)


Kokichi: hissss


Maki: Did you just hiss?


Kokichi: hands off shumai!! (っ•﹏•)っ ✴==≡눈٩(`皿´҂)ง


Shuichi: kokichi…


Miu: overprotective bf or what ;-;


Kokichi: shut up, slut


Maki: Kokichi, no




Kaede: Im not trying to steal him from you


Shuichi: and i’m not going to leave you for akamatsu-san


Kaede: I dont even like him that way!


Kokichi: fine then


Kokichi: why tf is my room filled with balloons


Maki: Just a gift for you >:)


Kokichi: fuck u


Shuichi: ...are you crying?


Kokichi: no


Kaede: Awww, thats so sweet


Maki: I mean, I just meant it as a prank, but the gremlin seems very happy 

[Private message: Kokichi > Maki]


Kokichi: I LOVE U




Maki: I can’t tell if you’re being serious


Kokichi: I AM


Kokichi: balloons were hard to get on the streets


Maki: Oh


Maki: Well, you’re welcome


Maki: I can help you clean up if you want




Maki: They’ll deflate




Maki: Do what you like ig

[Chat: Welcome to hell]


Sayaka: Is everything ok with Celestia?


Kyoko: Not really, but it’s getting better


Aoi: what happened anyways?


Kyoko: I don’t know if Celeste is comfortable with sharing


Kyoko: I’ll ask her first


Kyoko: She says no, but thank you for your concern


Aoi: that’s fine! hope the problem is solved soon :)


Kyoko: She says thank you again


Makoto: do u need ur lunch delivered to the dorm room?


Kyoko: You can just leave it outside


Makoto: got it

Chapter Text

[Chat: Unnamed chat]


-Sayaka created a new chat-


-Sayaka added Mukuro, Celestia and 5 others-


-Sayaka changed the chat name to ‘These kids need therapy’


Sayaka: Hello!


Maki: What is this


Kokichi: owo?? new gc???


Sayaka: I added all the people I could think of who probably need therapy but dont want to get it


Mukuro: If this is about me going to see the guidance counselor again


Sayaka: I just thought it might be better if you guys talked about it with other people your age


Sayaka: No judgement here, people >:(


Maki: Do we need to share our life stories


Sayaka: Not unless you want to!


Sayaka: I also got Chihiro to lock this chat so you can’t leave


Celestia: I don’t think this is necessary


Kyoko: Why am I here?


Sayaka: Because yall have I S S U E S


Kokichi: no


Kokichi: let me leave


Sayaka: No. Now Im going to ask a question and you need to answer


Peko: I’m assuming you are not going to stop bothering us about it if we don’t?


Sayaka: Yep! Q1. What is the issue you are trying to overcome?


Maki: Sigh


Sayaka: Please just try


Maki: Fine. I’m still afraid the organization will come after me, kill everyone I care about, and force me to become an assassin again


Sayaka: Very good! Next?


Kyoko: My father’s bad parenting and the stress my grandfather puts on me as a detective


Celestia: ...Identity crisis


Mukuro: PTSD from the military 


Peko: The whole ‘I am just a tool’ mentality instilled on me since young 


Sayaka: That’s a lot more than I expected


Sayaka: But its fine! Its great that you guys can talk about your different problems!


Sayaka: Ouma-kun?


Kokichi: abandonment issues ig


Sayaka: Great! Now were going to work with these, and help you to get over them eventually. Sounds good?


Kyoko: Sure


Maki: Whatever


Sayaka: Every Wednesday at 5, were gonna have these sessions. I’ll ask you one question and you can respond however you like. And remember, what is said in this chat, stays in this chat


Peko: Alright

[Chat: BEST CLASS!! ☆*:.。.o(≧▽≦)o.。.:*☆]


Kokichi: i made a cake!! (^▽^)


Maki: Is it even edible?


Kokichi: wow, rude


Shuichi: what’s it for?


Kokichi: no reason


Maki: That sounds highly suspicious


Kaede: And I dont think its anyones birthday


Ryoma: The classrooms are filled with bottles of grape panta


Ryoma: And when I walked in, a machine threw confetti on my head


Miu: LMAO i see u XDDDDD


Kokichi: (⌒ω⌒)


Maki: Why


Kokichi: i just thought everyone seemed a little depressed lately so i decided to have a party


Kaede: Yet another surprisingly thoughtful thing done by Ouma


Kokichi: u can thank me later


Kokichi: bug boy, come help me carry this into the classroom


Gonta: Gonta coming!


Tenko: tenko has the streamers the degenerate asked for


Angie: Banner is ready too!!


Kaede: So...what are we going to do?


Kokichi: rmb how we said wed have an anime streaming session after the exams?


Kokichi: i got permission to do it in class today




Kokichi: ik (๑˘︶˘๑)


Maki: Don’t praise him too much or he’ll get a big head


Maki: But that’s nice of you, gremlin


Kokichi: i mean, i still dislike anime, but i like spending time with u all ig


Kaede: we love u 2 :)


Kokichi: ew, affection


Maki: Ik you secretly love it


Kokichi: shush


Kokichi: now get to the classroom asap


Kokichi: i got blankets and pillows


Kokichi: and this weird thing called a pinata


Himiko: nyeh? whats that?,,,


Kokichi: this animal-shaped thing that u hit until it breaks and candy falls out


Kaito: sounds fun!


Kokichi: yes, as long as u slowpokes hurry up




Shuichi: i’m being dragged by akamatsu-san. send help

Kokichi: well u c, that wouldnt happen if u hurried the fuck up, would it?


Maki: I’m outside the classroom, open up


Kokichi: as a child i was forced to eat dog food by my father-


Maki: Open the fucking door, bitch


Maki: Also, you never knew your parents, so that’s obviously a lie


Kokichi: u right


Rantaro: thats rite, didnt u 2 grow up in the same orphanage


Maki: Yes, but we don’t talk about the orphanage


Kokichi: fucking sucked


Rantaro: sorry


Maki: Doesn’t matter. Now are we going to watch the show or not


Tsumugi: Let’s watch Kiznaiver first!


Kokichi: k


Kokichi: weeb


Rantaro: still japanese


Kokichi: didnt know i looked like i give a flying fuck


Maki: Just shut up

Chapter Text

[Chat: BEST CLASS!! ☆*:.。.o(≧▽≦)o.。.:*☆]


Kaede: Maki, youre leaving today, right?


Maki: Yeah


Maki: Our flight’s in two hours so we’re just walking around the airport now


Kokichi: bring me souvenirs!


Maki: Sure


Kirumi: I hope you have a safe flight, Harukawa-san


Rantaro: have a safe flight!


Shuichi: ^^


Kaito: ^^


Tenko: tenko hopes the three of you have a good flight!


Maki: Thanks. I’ll contact you guys again when I reach France


Maki: Aka in like half a day


Maki: The flight honestly takes so long. Ugh


Kaede: Alright! Be safe!

[Chat: BEST CLASS!! ☆*:.。.o(≧▽≦)o.。.:*☆]


Maki: Alright I’m in my hotel room now


Kaede: Thats great! Hows France?


Maki: It’s ok


Maki: Hey gremlin, I got this for you


Maki: purplelionplushywithcheckeredscarf.png


Kokichi: oh my god


Maki: Do you like it?


Kokichi: maki, ur the best sister ever ilysm (╥﹏╥)


Maki: Ok, that’s enough


Maki: Glad you like it


Rantaro: have u met the students from the school yet?


Maki: Not yet. Don’t forget about the time difference


Maki: But we’re meeting them first thing tomorrow morning


Kaede: Did you manage to sleep in the plane?


Maki: No, I don’t do well with planes so I’m pretty tired


Maki: Celestia fell asleep on Kyoko’s shoulder though. Pretty cute


Kokichi: i demand pics


Maki: Later. I need sleep


Kokichi: understandable, have a great sleep


Kaede: Good night then!


Maki: Night

[Chat: BEST CLASS!! ☆*:.。.o(≧▽≦)o.。.:*☆]


Maki: This french class is weird


Rantaro: how so?


Maki: There's this girl called Lila who, like her name suggests, lies with literally every breath in her body. 


Maki: She’s not even like the gremlin. She lies just to gain attention, attacks anyone who doesn’t believe her, and plays the victim every fucking minute . I’m sick of her already


Maki: If I had a cup of water while Liela was on fire, I’d drink it


Kokichi: damn. sounds bad


Maki: You know I actually wish you were here so that you could teach her a lesson


Kokichi: u and i both know u, celes, and kyoko r perfectly capable of doing that ourselves


Maki: You right. I, however, may not take things the entirely legal way


Kokichi: bold of u to assume i would


Maki: Got me there


Kaede: That sounds bad. Are you going to report her to the teacher?


Maki: Their homeroom teacher is a fucking enablist, and she has their principal wrapped around her little finger


Maki: The worst thing? Their class rep, this girl called Marinette, tried to call her out on her lying. This bitch turned (almost) their whole class against her and made her out to be some kind of bully. It’s ridiculous


Maki: The only ones on her side are Juleka (shy goth girl, very gay. Basically Saihara with Kokichi’s hair), Nathaniel (another shy gay) and a few others who aren’t even in their school


Rantaro: damn


Maki: Lmao


Maki: Celeste just metaphorically backed her into a corner with her lies


Kokichi: oh?


Maki: Aaaaand she’s making Celeste out to be the bad guy here. Figures


Shuichi: that sucks


Maki: Kyoko’s taking her turn now


Maki: Alright, she managed to diffuse the situation and plant little seeds of doubt in their minds


Kokichi: that class sounds like a herd of fucking sheep


Maki: That’s an accurate description


Maki: Aight, class is starting. Ttyl, bye


Rantaro: good luck

[Chat: Welcome to hell]


Sayaka: How are you three doing in France?


Celestia: I want to punch a bitch in her fucking face


Makoto: mood


Aoi: that bad huh


Kyoko: I agree with Celeste


Kyoko: This school fucking sucks


Junko: :00000000000


Junko: Kyoko cUSSED?????




Kyoko: Stop. I’m in a bad mood already


Junko: mouth zipped


Celestia: That motherfucking bitch


Celestia: I can understand where she’s coming from, at least, but victim blaming?? Turning the entire class on a girl just because she didn’t believe her lies??? Sexually harassing another student?????


Sayaka: Now I want to punch her in the face


Leon: hey @Chihiro 


Leon: could u maybe hack her phone to cause some chaos?


Chihiro: im on it!


Aoi: are you in yet?


Chihiro: yeah. just read thru her msgs and this girl is messed up


Chihiro: shes trying to convince one of her classmates to kill herself


Celestia: Yes, that would be the same classmate she turned the rest of the class on and victim blamed


Chihiro: my hatred for her has reached ungodly levels


Chihiro: as such, i will do this


Kyoko: Are- are you playing porn on her phone in the middle of lessons?


Chihiro: perhaps


Kyoko: If I wasn’t so devoted to keeping my ice cold detective image intact, I may laugh


Leon: LMAO


Leon: chihiro, my dude, you really went above and beyond XDDDD


Chihiro: i also changed her phone settings to only show porn ads and added a hundred pornographic images to her gallery


Celestia: Can I adopt you too?


Chihiro: i still have my parents, thx


Chihiro: also, im older than both u and kyoko


Celestia: Ah, that’s too bad


Kyoko: Please continue with your actions


Chihiro: sure


Chihiro: just put the 10h long nyan cat theme song on repeat from her phone. the volume cant be lowered and it cannot be turned off


Junko: *munches popcorn*

Chapter Text

[Chat: BEST CLASS!! ☆*:.。.o(≧▽≦)o.。.:*☆]


Maki: Last day in this hellhole


Kokichi: howd the situation with the lying bitch go?


Maki: Kyoko got her expelled :)


Kokichi: °˖✧◝(⁰▿⁰)◜✧˖°


Kaede: Good for her


Maki: Not looking forward to the flight back though


Rantaro: tell her the news


Maki: ???


Kaede: The principal decided to hold a school prom for all the levels


Miu: hell yeah bitches


Miu: kayaday, wanna go w/ me?


Kaede: Unexpected but ok


Kokichi: shumai, lets go tgt!


Shuichi: sure


Maki: So now we’re just asking our prom dates?


Kaede: I guess?


Tenko: tenko already asked yumeno-chan to go with her!


Rantaro: congrats


Maki: I’ll probably just go by myself, hang around in the corner the whole time, and leave as early as possible


Kokichi: ur going to have fun , makiroll


Maki: No


Maki: Proms aren’t fun


Kokichi: neither of us have been to one b4


Maki: Maybe not, but I’ve been to enough fancy galas to last my entire lifetime


Kaede: You have?


Maki: Assassination missions


Kaede: Oh


Kaito: how come you dont complain when ouma calls you maki-roll?


Maki: Because I realised it’s pointless


Kokichi: and she looooves me more than u :)


Maki: Stfu

[Chat: Unnamed chat]


-K1-B0 created a new chat-


-K1-B0 added Kaito, Shuichi and 1 other-


Kokichi: woww, whats this?


Kokichi: if its another therapy gc im leaving


K1-B0: I can assure you it is not.


Shuichi: therapy gc?...


Kokichi: shush


K1-B0: I was wondering if the three of you would accompany me to prom.


Kaito: of course i will!


Shuichi: ...this is rather sudden


K1-B0: I am aware, and I apologize for that.


K1-B0: However, I find all three of you rather attractive and so I decided to ask. We need not pursue a future relationship, but I would appreciate it if we could go to prom together.


Shuichi: sure


Kokichi: i guess, since shumai said yes


K1-B0: Thank you.

[Chat: Class 78]


Kiyotaka: Have all of you acquired a partner for the prom?


Leon: chill, its in like a week


Kiyotaka: But it is better to get it out of the way first! Mondo and I will be going together!


Mondo: dont pressure them, im sure some of them are still too scared to ask their partner


Kiyotaka: In that case, I apologize! I do not mean to pressure you into asking!


Makoto: its fine, dw abt it


Kyoko: Celeste and I are going together


Leon: as expected


Aoi: i’m going with sakura-chan!


Sayaka: And Muku and I are going together!


Makoto: basically only the gays and lesbians have their lives figured out


Leon: LMAO


Toko: I’m going with your sister, Naegi-kun


Makoto: tf???


Kiyotaka: Language!


Makoto: srry


Makoto: but she didnt tell me abt it????


Kyoko: Literally no one blames her


Sayaka: Yeah, no offense, but you’re a little too protective of her


Makoto: am not!


Toko: Whatever


Byakuya: I do not intend on going to this ‘prom’


Leon: we dont want u there anyways


Kiyotaka: Kuwata-kun! That is not a very polite thing to say to your classmate!


Leon: do u not agree?




Kiyotaka: Perhaps, but you do not need to point it out!




-Byakuya left the chat-


Kiyotaka: Oh dear.


Kyoko: It doesn’t matter, I will add him back later


Sayaka: Or we could leave him out 


Celestia: While you’re at it, remove Yamada too


Kiyotaka: Celestia-san!


-Kyoko removed Hifumi from the chat-


Kiyotaka: Kirigiri-san!

[Chat: BEST CLASS!! ☆*:.。.o(≧▽≦)o.。.:*☆]


Maki: I just want to sleep for 2 days


Kirumi: Do you require help unpacking?


Maki: It’s fine, I don’t have a lot of things anyway


Kokichi: none of us died!


Kokichi: and i remembered to feed ur cat!


Maki: Good job


Maki: Now don’t disturb me, I’m going to nap with Hayami


Kirumi: I made some sandwiches and left them on your dresser in case you get hungry.


Maki: Thanks. Good night

[Chat: H O P E]


Akane: just saw hajimeme ask hope bagel and gamer girl to the prom


Sonia: That is most adorable!


Sonia: I’m going with Gundham!


Gundham: My fair lady’s light shines even through the shroud of darkness


Souda: miss Sonia???


Sonia: ヽ(>_<ヽ) ―⊂|=0ヘ(^‿^ )


Hiyoko: squash the pink simp!


Hajime: guys…




Hajime: yeah. they said yes btw




Chiaki: thx


Nagito: The sheer amount of hope is truly overwhelming!


Hiyoko: shut up about ur stupid hope


Mahiru: Hiyoko, be nice


Hajime: anyone else going together?


Peko: Not currently


Peko: But I hope we can all have a fun time at the prom, regardless of whether we have a date or not




Hajime: knowing our class and the other classes, it’s probably going to end up in chaos

Chapter Text

[Chat: Welcome to hell]


Sayaka: My dog is missing, has anyone seen her?


Makoto: no, srry


Leon: nope


Celestia: My cat is missing too


Aoi: so are my fish!!


Sakura: Oowada-kun says his dog is also gone


Kyoko: This is strange


Kyoko: Not to worry, I will help to look for them


Aoi: thanks, kyoko-chan!

[Chat: H O P E]


Sonia: Is anyone else’s pets missing?


Hajime: naegi-kun informed me that his classmates’ pets have disappeared


Hajime: so it seems like this is a school-wide thing


Hajime: he asked me to make a list of all the missing pets


Gundham: My four Dark Devas of Destruction are still with me


Hajime: that’s odd


Hajime: type in the chat if u have missing pets


Sonia: I have a yellow songbird!


Impostor: I have a chameleon




Peko: I have two chinchillas


Gundham: Ah, the twin beasts of yin and yang


Peko: Indeed


Hajime: ?


Peko: Tanaka-san gifted the chinchillas to me


Peko: Their names are In and Yo


Peko: Also meaning yin and yang


Hajime: i see. are those all?


Chiaki: i have a cat


Hajime: alright. I’ll give this list to kirigiri-san then

[Chat: BEST CLASS!! ☆*:.。.o(≧▽≦)o.。.:*☆]


Shuichi: everyone’s pets have disappeared apparently


Shuichi: kokichi, did you have something to do with this?


Kokichi: come 2 the backyard (*°▽°*)


Shuichi: why do you do this


Kokichi: theyre all safe!


Shuichi: yes, but you can’t go around taking other people’s pets


Maki: What’s the real reason behind this?


Kokichi: i wanted to have a big playdate for all the pets!


Shuichi: you could have just asked


Kokichi: but whats the fun in that?


Kaede: Why didnt you take Tanaka-senpai’s hamsters?


Kokichi: they bit me ~(>_<~)


Rantaro: and chabashira’s rabbits didnt?


Kokichi: good point


Kokichi: however, i dont feel like being cursed by their owner today (・人・)


Kokichi: also, peko-chan’s chinchillas are super fluffy


Maki: Yes, they’re very cute


Kaede: Ooh, now I want to see


Kokichi: blackandwhitechinchillascurleduptogether.png




Kokichi: ikr????


Shuichi: Nevermind-senpai’s bird just pooped on my head


Korekiyo: Did you know that in several cultures, a bird excreting on one’s head is considered a sign of good luck?


Shuichi: that is interesting, i didn’t know that


Shuichi: we, however, are japanese. the only thing it’s considered to be here is disgusting


Kaede: You should go wash it off quickly


Shuichi: i will. kokichi, please return the pets to their respective owners


Kokichi: fine, fine (¬_¬;)

[Chat: BEST CLASS!! ☆*:.。.o(≧▽≦)o.。.:*☆]


Kokichi: now i feel like adopting a chinchilla 


Maki: I can get one for you


Kokichi: REALLY?!?!?


Maki: For Christmas


Kokichi: but thats so faaaaaaar away (」°ロ°)」


Maki: Deal with it


Rantaro: every time i c u guys interact, u seem more and more like siblings


Maki: It has been a few weeks already


Kaede: I think its sweet :)


Shuichi: i just realised…


Shuichi: if i marry kokichi, harukawa will be my sister-in-law


Shuichi: this is giving me a migraine


Maki: That’s really weird to think about


Kokichi: and if we adopt a kid, ull be their aunt!


Maki: Stop


Tenko: almost all males are degenerates, but you are even more of a degenerate, it seems


Maki: He’s ok. Mostly


Kaede: ‘Almost all’? I thought you hated all males?


Tenko: saihara has proven himself to be a decent human being


Shuichi: wow. i’m flattered

[Broadcast: Celestia > Hope’s Peak Academy students]


Celestia: The homophobic male is back, and he is threatening to sue


Celestia: Get down to the courtyard now to claim a punch

[Chat: BEST CLASS!! ☆*:.。.o(≧▽≦)o.。.:*☆]


Kokichi: did u see the broadcast?


Maki: Yep. Now I can make up for the last time when I was still in the hospital


Shuichi: chabashira-san taught me a few aikido moves for this purpose


Tenko: and this is why saihara is a decent male


Kaede: ...Because he attacks homophobes with you?


Tenko: Yep!


Kokichi: hurry up, or hell be dead b4 u arrive!!!

[Chat: BEST CLASS!! ☆*:.。.o(≧▽≦)o.。.:*☆]


Maki: This time, I made sure he’s really dead


Kaito: so you guys murdered him?


Kokichi: yep! it was suuuuuper exciting! o(≧▽≦)o


Kokichi: but srsly, he deserved it


Kaede: Shuichi and Kirigiri-senpai helped hide the body


Kaito: cool


Kokichi: hey i have an idea


Shuichi: oh no


Kokichi: lets hang up pride flags on the school gate to ward off homophobes!!


Maki: That’s actually an ok idea


Kokichi: ofc!! (^▽^)


Kokichi: i mean, i already got angie to paint a rainbow on the side of the school


Kaede: You wHAT??


Angie: It was very fun!~


Kaede: Please tell me it isnt permanent


Angie: It is


Kaede: What am I going to tell Kirigir-sensei????


Kokichi: u dont


Kaede: How do you propose I do that?


Kokichi: i mean its been there for 2 days now and none of the teachers have noticed ¯\_(ツ)_/¯


Kokichi: well be fine


Ryoma: Somebody painted the sidewalk in the colours of the bi flag


Kaede: Why?


Kokichi: becos its fun


Kokichi: homophobes beware (๑˃ᴗ˂)ﻭ

Chapter Text

[Chat: BEST CLASS!! ☆*:.。.o(≧▽≦)o.。.:*☆]






Shuichi: you have a dog?


Kaede: Just adopted her yesterday :)


Kaede: Shes a golden retriever and her name is Rico






Shuichi: can’t you just take your cat somewhere else?


Maki: She’s on top of the cupboard and won’t come down


Maki: I would climb up and get her but I’m having cramps


Kirumi: Do you need a heat pack?


Maki: Yes please


Kirumi: I will bring one over for you.


Kokichi: makiroll also forgot to mention that shes afraid of dogs (¯▿¯)


Maki: I’m not


Kaede: Oh fuck


Kaede: Im so sorry, I didnt know


Maki: I’m not scared of dogs


Shuichi: there’s nothing wrong with being scared of things


Shuichi: the phobia of dogs is actually one of the most common phobias in the world


Rantaro: and being able to admit ur fears is super brave


Maki: ...Maybe I am a little afraid of dogs


Kaede: I asked Tanaka-senpai to come over 


Kaede: Sorry again


Maki: It’s fine


Shuichi: i have a dog too


Shuichi: he helps me with investigations


Kokichi: ooh, what breed is he?


Shuichi: labrador, black fur. his name is dusk


Kokichi: noice (b ᵔ▽ᵔ)b


Rantaro: r we talking about our pets now?


Kaede: Sure


Rantaro: well i have a tortoise whos like 50 years old


Rantaro: her name is casus and she was given to me by my grandfather


Gonta: Gonta have lots of bug friends!


Gonta: But Gonta no give them names


Tsumugi: My dog is called Katsuki and he’s a pomeranian


Himiko: nyeh,,,my tigers name is yawnfeather


Tsumugi: Warrior cats reference?


Himiko: yes


Tenko: tenko’s rabbits are both belgian hares! their names are neo and aiki!


Korekiyo: My garter snake is called Antik. She was a gift from my late sister


Ryoma: My cats’ names are Minty, Yokka, Pebble, Chi-chi and Suna. My goldfish is called Kaiyo


Kokichi: lets do another pet playdate!!!


Kaede: Thats fine, as long as you ask first


Kokichi: fiiiiiiine

[Chat: Welcome to hell]


Sayaka: Hey guys, theres a older guy down here who wants to see the WOH, apparently


Celestia: Ask for his name


Sayaka: He says hes Haiji Towa


Celestia: FUCK NO


Celestia: Get him OUTTA HERE


Sayaka: Alright


Makoto: whos that?


Celestia: A piece of shit that crawled out of hell years ago and just won’t die


Celestia: He’s Monaca’s brother and a FUCKING pervert and pedophile


Celestia: He’s at least 30 years old and he tried to hit on Kotoko, who is twelve


Leon: thats messed up


Sayaka: He refused to leave


Sayaka: He then told me I was hot and is trying to get me to ‘go home with him’ even though I told him I was taken (and at least 10 years younger)


Mukuro: Guess who’s going to commit a murder? :)


Celestia: Don’t bother. I tried it before, but he hasn’t died yet


Mukuro: I’ll just cut off his dick then


Celestia: Get all the fighters from the different classes down there


Celestia: Oogami-san, I’d like to request for yours and Oowada-kun’s assistance


Sakura: Of course


Celestia: Maizono, keep stalling him


Sayaka: Sure, but hes making me very uncomfortable


Chihiro: im watching from the security cameras


Chihiro: if he does anything, ill alert the teachers immediately


Sayaka: Thanks, Chihiro


Celestia: Asahina-san, Kuwata-kun, keep the kids away from our dorm


Aoi: on it


Celestia: I have contacted Pekoyama-san, Owari-senpai, Nidai-senpai, Gokuhara-kun, Chabashira-san and Maki


Makoto: arent there more students who r good at fiting?


Celestia: Yes, but they lack the strength to throw the cockroach out of the school like they will inevitably have to do. Not to mention that he is unfairly big-sized so people like Kokichi may be overpowered


Leon: this is very well thought out


Celestia: Between Kyoko and I, we have plans for everything


Makoto: remind me nvr to piss u 2 off


Mukuro: The cockroach is unfortunately not dead, but he will not be having children any time soon


Celestia: Good. Fujisaki-san, wipe the security footage


Chihiro: alr done 


Aoi: bad news, 3 out of 5 of the woh saw the cockroach just as u threw him out, and we now have a few freaked-out children on our hands


Celestia: Asahina, you had one job


Aoi: i’m sorry! the windows in their dorms don’t have curtains!


Kyoko: Which ones?


Aoi: huh?


Kyoko: Which of the children are panicking


Aoi: the two girls. leon took the other three to play a video game or smtg


Celestia: I’m heading over. Get some sweets ready


Aoi: kk


Aoi: celes-san, ur surprisingly knowledgeable about these panic attacks


Celestia: Of course, I had to learn how to handle my own panic attacks


-Celestia deleted one message-


Aoi: what was that?


Celestia: Don’t concern yourself about it

Chapter Text

[Chat: BEST CLASS!! ☆*:.。.o(≧▽≦)o.。.:*☆]


Kokichi: pride parade pt 2!!!!!


Rantaro: i can participate this time :D


Kaede: Did you not go to the last one?


Rantaro: i was in detention with komaeda-kun


Rantaro: we were conducting some experiments with his luck and a teacher walked in on us


Shuichi: ...what experiments?


Rantaro: we may have burned some of our hair in the process


Shuichi: i no longer want to know


Maki: I didn’t know you were trans


Rantaro: i dont bother trying to hide it, but the topic nvr rlly came up ig


Kaede: And we love and accept you!!!!!


Rantaro: thank u :)


Tsumugi: What happened to initiate pt 2 of the pride parade?


Kokichi: prom is in a few days so i wanted to make sure everyone felt comfortable and accepted ヽ(>∀<☆)ノ


Kokichi: also to ward off any potential homophobes at prom


Maki: Good job, gremlin


Kaede: Wait a minute


Kaede: If we only just found out youre trans 


Kaede: Does that mean you were a binder all day?


Tsumugi: He does. Even though I’ve told him multiple times that it isn’t healthy >:(


Rantaro: sorry


Kaede: Dont apologise to us


Kaede: Were just concerned about your health


Rantaro: im getting top surgery at the end of the year tho so its only until then


Maki: Just take care of yourself 


Rantaro: 👍

Hajime Hinata did not bake. Hajime did not cook, microwave, toast, or go anywhere near the kitchen in general. So, why was he standing in that very area right now?


It started out innocently enough, with Chiaki making an off-handed comment about how she would have liked to eat a cupcake while gaming. 


...And of course, like the absolute fucking simps they were, Nagito and Hajime offered to bake some for her. Which led to this mess.


“The recipe says to add a spoonful of vanilla extract.”


“What even is that???”


“Hey Hinata-kun, do we have a measuring cup?”


“Look in the cupboard!”


But in the end, the cupcakes were in the oven, and the three of them were working on cleaning up the kitchen (if only so that Teruteru wouldn’t have a heart attack, as funny as that might be)


“How did you manage to get flour all over yourself?” Hajime remarked, gently brushing through Nagito’s fluffy white hair.


The latter merely smiled serenely, clasping his hands together. “Ah, for a useless student like me to be helped by Hinata-kun himself, this is truly wonderful!”


“Don’t say things like that, you’re not useless.” 


“I must be truly lucky to end up with people like Hinata-kun and Nanami-san,” Nagito grabbed Hajime’s hand, his eyes shining brightly. “Two people who are so full of hope!”


Hajime blushed at the contact, averting his eyes from the sheer pureness of his boyfriend, who was practically glowing at this point.


“The cupcakes are done...I think,” Chiaki said absent-mindedly, focused on her video game.


“Yeah, I think so. Do you guys wanna try them?”


Chiaki took a small bite out of the still-hot cupcake (though she didn’t seem to mind the temperature). Without any changes to her voice or facial expression, she commented, “This is fucking salty.”

[Chat: BEST CLASS!! ☆*:.。.o(≧▽≦)o.。.:*☆]


Kaede: There are some odd-looking people dressed in black in the courtyard


Shuichi: that’s strange




Kaede: What?


Kokichi: JUST DO IT


Kaede: Alright


Rantaro: do u know them?


Kokichi: yes


Kokichi: inform the principal


Kokichi: have the police on speed dial


Kokichi: get the hacker to record them 


Kokichi: literally anything


Miu: never seen the purple abortion so panicked




Miu: eep!


Kaede: Principal and teaching staff have been informed


Kaede: The MIB are kinda just standing around though


Kokichi: dont be fooled. theyre just waiting for the right moment


Shuichi: who are they?


Kokichi: u dw to know


Kokichi: im contacting celes

[Private message: Kokichi > Celestia]


Kokichi: plan 72


Celestia: So they decided to show their miserable, pathetic faces at this school?


Kokichi: indeed


Celestia: Well then, let’s make sure they regret it

[Chat: BEST CLASS!! ☆*:.。.o(≧▽≦)o.。.:*☆]


Kaede: Celestia-senpai is walking out to meet them?


Shuichi: that looks dangerous…


Kokichi: dw, shes fine


Kokichi: not sure if u notice the many surveillance cameras all going directly to the japanese government


Kokichi: or the fact that mukuro-chan is hiding behind the bushes


Kaede: Whats she doing?


Kokichi: watch and see


Kaede: Shes...offering them a paper?


Shuichi: it looks like something she wants them to sign


Shuichi: a contract, probably


Gonta: Gonta not know where Harukawa-san is!


Kokichi: shes in my room. dw about us


Gonta: Oh, ok! :)


Tsumugi: That smiley face just extended my life by 30 years


Ryoma: Mood


Kaede: They signed it????


Kaede: Kokichi, what was on that paper?


Rantaro: and who were those ppl?


Kokichi: ill explain, just dont interrupt while im doing so


Kokichi: basically those were the ppl who ran the assassin organization


Kokichi: they were mad makiroll left, so they were here to try and get her back


Kokichi: however, they couldnt do anything because celes made them sign the contract


Kokichi: u dont need to know the details of the contract


Kokichi: but they wont be coming back here again


Kokichi: and this is why celes is the best mom


Shuichi: that’s impressive


Kokichi: plan 72


Kokichi: we were initially planning to go with plan 58, but there were some complications with that plan. we also were considering plan 25, 83, 49 and 62, but decided that those were too risky


Kaede: How many plans did you have???


Kokichi: celes and kyoko have plans for everything


Kokichi: one of the scrapped plans involved just killing them where they stood, but they were all wearing bulletproof jackets


Tenko: is harukawa-san ok?


Kokichi: shes fine


Kokichi: were gonna play mario kart if anyone wants to join


Rantaro: nyoom

Chapter Text

[Chat: Welcome to hell]


Sayaka: Hey Makoto, where are you?


Makoto: cafeteria


Makoto: komaeda-senpai n i r having a luck competition


Leon: whos winning?


Makoto: its abt equal


Kyoko: While I feel Komaeda-senpai has stronger good luck, he also has an equal amount of bad luck


Leon: huh????


Kyoko: Let me give an example. He is the sole survivor of at least two plane crashes, right?


Sayaka: Yep


Leon: dude, thats crazy


Kyoko: Indeed. His good luck meant that he survived both encounters, but it was his bad luck that caused him to be the victim of the plane crashes in the first place


Aoi: that makes sense!


Kyoko: In comparison, Makoto’s luck is much weaker, but more consistent. For example, he may have small instances in a day where he gets lucky, such as finding a dropped coin or just narrowly missing being hit in the head by a flying wrench


Leon: why would there be a flying wrench?


Junko: ehehehehe


Makoto: i won!


Aoi: amazing!!


Yasuhiro: tahts sso rad


Leon: how???????


Makoto: komaeda-senpai unfortunately had a bout of bad luck right at the end so i won :D


Kyoko: Well done


Celestia: Maybe I should join you next time


Leon: come to think of it, celes is technically another ultimate luck, isnt she?


Leon: like some games are entirely luck based and she still manages to win them


Celestia: I do have rather strong luck, but I have worked hard to achieve my title. Please do not insult me by insinuating that it is all due to luck


Leon: sorry

[Private message: Celestia > Gundham]


Celestia: Is it ready?


Gundham: It is. When do you require me to venture into the dark lands of the unknown?


Celestia: In about an hour, please


Gundham: It will be done


Gundham: I wish you well, fellow Sister of Darkness


Celestia: Thank you

[Chat: Welcome to hell]


Makoto: hey kyoko, could u come down 2 the common room 4 a bit?


Kyoko: Sure, what do you need?


Makoto: come down 1st




Kyoko: I was not expecting this


Celestia: Happy birthday :)


Kyoko: Is that a dog?


Aoi: it is!!!!


Celestia: She is a German Shepherd puppy, about four months of age


Celestia: Tanaka-kun was kind enough to find her for me


Kyoko: Thanks


Kyoko: She is quite cute


Sayaka: Are you crying?


Kyoko: No


Leon: we can literally see u


Kyoko: It’s just the allergies


Celestia: Are you allergic to dogs?


Kyoko: No


Kyoko: I am allergic to emotions, apparently


Sayaka: Yeah, just ignore her. She clearly loves your gift!!


Celestia: I am very happy :)))


Junko: a triple smiley face????? wow shes the equivalent of ecstatic rn, lol


Celestia: I would check under my bed tonight if I were you, Enoshima


Junko: bYE


Yasuhiro: eheolp


Leon: ??


Makoto: i think hes asking 4 help


Yasuhiro: mukruro bretahung ntu gud


Yasuhiro: mayebdef pasd outh


Sayaka: WHAT


Sayaka: Coming over


Aoi: what happened?


Celestia: I believe Ikusaba-san had a panic attack


Aoi: oh no! was it the fireworks?


Celestia: Perhaps


Celestia: Anyways, we should stop it just in case


Celestia: We have cake


Kyoko: Cake


Sayaka: Why do I feel like she just said that in the cutest, most excited way possible


Celestia: She did


Kyoko: Shhhh


Celestia: Someone also spiked the punch because she’s somewhat drunk


Leon: guilty


Celestia: If she throws up, that’s on you


Leon: thats fair

Chapter Text

Hey guys!! Remember how a few chapters ago, I mentioned something about a Saiouma phantom thief AU? Well, if you don't, I'm telling you now. It's the fic that I'm the most excited about currently because there are just so many different elements to it. 

I'm planning to officially release it in December, hopefully. However, I will be dropping some exclusive scenes from the AU on my Tumblr page, @flowersnfireworks under the tag #hanabi's writing. So you can follow me there if you want to find out more about it!!!

I actually recorded myself explaining the characters in this particular AU, but I didn't notice the multiple spoilers that I accidentally included, so I took it down for now. However, I will re-upload it AFTER I publish the fic, just so you can get some fun facts about the characters. My YouTube account is @FlowersNFireworks, you can follow me there if you want, even though I have literally nothing there. 

BUT, if you want to see me record something and post it on YouTube, you are welcome to ask. I had one of my friends tell me I should do something with you guys, just for fun, like if you want to see me play Roblox or something (Chai, I'm pretty sure no one will ask for that kind of stuff, please stop pestering me about it). 

That's all, have a great day, everyone! Hanabi, out!!!!

Chapter Text

[Chat: BEST CLASS!! ☆*:.。.o(≧▽≦)o.。.:*☆]


Kokichi: guys, did u know that celes is a huge fucking weeb??


Maki: I knew


Kokichi: shush, u dont count σ( ̄、 ̄〃)


Tsumugi: :000000


Tsumugi: REALLY?????????




Rantaro: u have unleashed a demon


Maki: She watches a few gambling animes


Maki: Her favorite is Kakegurui, though she says the games played in it are inaccurate


Tsumugi: I mean, that’s fair. I watched it too, but I didn’t enjoy it as much as other animes


Kokichi: it was reeeeeally boring


Shuichi: we get it, you don’t like anime


Kaede: Now shut up


Kokichi: 凸( ̄ヘ ̄)


Maki: 凸( ̄ヘ ̄)


Kokichi: i taught u so well *wipes tear*


Maki: You didn’t teach me shit


Kokichi: wow rude


Kokichi: respect ur elders (;⌣̀_⌣́)


Maki: I’m older than you


Rantaro: *munches popcorn*


Kokichi: *dramatic gasp* you reject me as ur older brother????


Maki: Can’t reject you if you were never older to begin with


Kokichi: its because im short, isnt it (`ー´)


Maki: No, it’s just a fact


Maki: The fact that you’re short does play a part in it though


Kokichi: meanie ↑_(ΦwΦ)Ψ


Maki: Short fucking bitch


Kaede: And this round goes to Maki!!


Maki: It was never a competition to begin with


Kokichi: saihara-chaaaaaaan


Kokichi: makirolls bullying me again (╥﹏╥)


Shuichi: sigh


Maki: I got you an ice cream


Kokichi: i take it back ur my favorite sister ever makiroll


Maki: Yeah yeah


Rantaro: is it just me whos confused


Kaede: Just go with it

[Chat: Welcome to hell]


Makoto: hows mukuro?


Sayaka: Shes fine


Sayaka: And shes fucking adorable when she sleeps


Kyoko: I feel the same way about Celeste


Celestia: Shh


Aoi: so sweet!!


Makoto: what r u guys planning to do during the winter break?


Leon: i made some plans with ibuki!!!


Aoi: sakura and i are probably going to practice our ultimate talents :3


Kyoko: Celeste and I are staying at a house I rented last year


Sayaka: Youre not going home for the break?


Kyoko: I don’t have a very good relationship with my father, and my grandfather is overseas on a case


Celestia: I got kicked out when I was 14


Leon: ???????


Junko: tEa????


Makoto: enoshima, pls stfu


Makoto: this is clearly sensitive info


Aoi: what happened?? (you don’t need to say though)


Celestia: My parents didn’t approve of me bringing my now ex-girlfriend home


Sayaka: That sucks :(


Aoi: well, we’re here for you now!!!!!


Celestia: Thank you


Chihiro: just finished downloading the video of every1 beating up that 1 homophobe at sch the other day


Chihiro: wanna watch it in the common room tgt?


Leon: YES


Junko: im out shopping, so ill pass


Sayaka: And Im still with Muku so Im gonna pass too, sorry


Sayaka: But send it to me later please


Chihiro: sure


Toko: Out with Omaru




Yasuhiro: cryptidb sptoeed


Toko: This is why I hate you guys


Makoto: omaru?????


Toko: Your sister


Makoto: my sister????????


Toko: Bye


Byakuya: Pass


Kyoko: Ishimaru and Oowada say they will join us


Chihiro: gr8!! c u in the common room in 10 mins then :)


Aoi: pure


Sayaka: Agreed

[Chat: BEST CLASS!! ☆*:.。.o(≧▽≦)o.。.:*☆]


Kirumi: Reminder that prom occurs tomorrow night.


Kaito: oh shit its tmr???


Maki: Dumbass


Maki: Thanks for the reminder


Kaede: Ive got my dress already!!!


Tenko: tenko has gotten a suit


Rantaro: kaede just suffered a nosebleed


Kaede: Shut up, Im a disaster bi, ok??


Maki: I have a dress too, though I couldn’t really care any less about the prom


Rantaro: the nosebleed shows no signs of stopping


Maki: Still aroace over here


Kaede: Sorry


Kaede: But youre attractive and I happen to experience aesthetic attraction to pretty people


Maki: You think I’m attractive?


Kaede: Obviously


Tenko: yes!!!!


Miu: i guess ur kinda pretty


Kaede: A person would have to be either blind or not attracted to women to say youre not absolutely stunning


Kokichi: u should see her face rn (¬‿¬ )


Kokichi: shes completely red


Maki: Do you wanna die


-Nagito added Nagito into the chat-


Nagito: Such hope!!!


-Nagito left the chat-


Shuichi: ?


Rantaro: kaede created so much positive emotion that she managed to summon komaeda-senpai




Kaede: Its important that you guys are confident in yourselves!!!


Shuichi: too bright…


Angie: Atua? Is that you?


Rantaro: no, its just kaede


Tsumugi: This reminds me of an anime that I watched! The protagonist was so positive, he started glowing!!


Kokichi: fuck off, weeb


Kokichi: makiroll and i r in the vents now btw


Kokichi: in case anyone wants to find us later


Shuichi: why?


Maki: My eyes are light-sensitive


Maki: One of the downsides of having red eyes (A/N: I looked it up, and red eyes occur only in albino animals - though this is an anime and real world logic doesn’t apply here -. Albino animals have red eyes due to a lack of melanin in their body, which also causes their white fur. Thus I hc that the students with red eyes [Celestia, Kiyotaka, Peko, Gonta and Maki] are especially sensitive to light)


Kirumi: Dinner is in 20 minutes.


Kirumi: And please be safe in the vents. They are not the most stable


Maki: K

Chapter Text


Logically, part of Celestia’s brain knew this was a dream. A mere figment of her imagination. However, this part of her was vastly overshadowed, left a prisoner in her mind.


“Mama, Papa, look!” A younger version of Celeste - no,  Taeko  - held up her report card proudly, bearing a wide smile on her face.


“An A+?” her mother gasped. “I’m so proud of you, Taeko!”


“That’s my baby girl!” her father grinned broadly, seizing the small girl around her waist and throwing her into the air, making her squeal with delight.


The dream abruptly changed, going from a happy family atmosphere to a far more somber one in the blink of an eye.


“Papa? Where’s Mama?” Taeko used her free hand to tug at her father’s sleeves anxiously. She didn’t look much older than the previous scene, bordering on five at the most.


The man glanced down at his daughter, unconsciously tightening his grip on her small wrist. “Mama’s gone on a journey, sweetheart. And we’re here today to send her off.”


Taeko brightened at his words, the smile returning to her face. “Ok!”


Glancing around, however, she noticed quite a few other children near her age also present at the venue. “Papa, who are they?” she asked innocently.


Her father didn’t even bother sparing them a glance before replying shortly, “Your siblings.”


“I have siblings?” Taeko tilted her head curiously. As far as she knew, she was an only child and had been for the past four years of her life.


“Yes, you do. Why don’t you go say hello? I’ talking with Mama before she leaves.” 


Taeko skipped away across the grass, humming a light tune softly to herself. Her father’s gaze followed her for a few moments, before returning to rest on the coffin laying before him.


The dream shifted again, though it remained at the same scene. 


Taeko was excitedly talking with another child, a black-haired boy with red eyes, slightly bigger than her. Behind him, his twin sister stood, silently observing.


“Do we have any other siblings?” she asked him, brimming with excitement about having more prospective playmates.


The boy nodded, pointing at another child standing across from them. “I heard that he’s also our brother, though I have not talked to him yet.”


Taeko glances behind him curiously, at the girl standing back from the conversation. “Anzu-chan, have you talked to him?”


The older girl blinked in surprise, before smiling at her younger sister. “I haven’t. Shall we all go and talk to him together?”


“That is a good idea!” her brother agreed. “He must be lonely, standing there by himself!”


The dream cuts off just as Taeko opens her mouth to respond, resurfacing back in the familiar apartment. Now, however, the atmosphere is darker, threatening.


Taeko - now appearing about seven years old - slinks into the house, being careful not to make any sound when she closes the door. Sneaking past her father, passed out on the couch, she finally slips into her room, breathing a sigh of relief.


Once bright eyes turned dull, she takes out her cheap, battered phone from her pocket, opting to throw herself on her bed and scroll through her social media. Nothing caught her eye and she sighed, rolling over and hugging one of her many cat plushies. 


Her father would no doubt scold her if he found that she was wasting time that could be used for studying. But he wasn’t here right now, so she was free to do as she pleased. And all she wanted to do right now was sleep.


Once again, the dream changes, now back to the living room. 


A nine-year-old Taeko cowers in front of her father, shoulders hunched and face turned downwards.


“A B+?!” her father roars, shaking her test papers furiously at her face. “What were you doing after school, huh? Slacking off as usual?” His eyes are bloodshot and his breath smells strongly of alcohol. 


“N-no, Papa-” she’s cut off by a harsh blow to her face, sending her reeling backward. Taeko cries out in pain, clutching her cheek, where a red mark is already blooming. 


“Did I say you could talk!?”


Taeko bows her head and remains silent. She should know better than to talk without permission by now, really.


‘From now on, no more of your frivolous activities! I’m taking your phone, and you won’t be getting it back.” her father spits, red-faced and fuming. “Go to your room! You don’t get any dinner tonight!”


The scene changes again, still in the same living room.


Taeko stands before her father, clutching on tightly to the hand of another girl beside her. “Papa, this is my girlfriend, Harumi,” she says nervously.


Her father looks the angriest she’s ever seen, a brilliant shade of crimson painting his features. Most unnerving is the quiet anger she hears in his voice when he speaks.


“So not only is my daughter a failure, but she’s also apparently a huge dyke too? Forget it, either get fixed or get out.” 


Taeko leaves the apartment with her head held high; but the moment she steps out, her girlfriend lets go of her hand, taking a step back.


“I don’t think this is going to work out,” she says flatly. 


Taeko is only able to blink, completely stunned by her words. “W-what?”


Harumi crosses her arms, leaning back against the wall to look down at Taeko. “If your father is going to be like that, I don’t think this relationship is going to last.”


“I think we should break up.”


The dream now flashes through several short memories. Taeko curled up in a small ball in an alleyway; Taeko, small and shivering, stepping into a casino for the first time; Taeko, her ruby eyes burning bright and cold, straight through any fool who may challenge her.


Taeko, Taeko, Taeko.


The dream changes to one final scene, now with the present-day Celeste  (Taeko?)  standing in the middle of it. People surround her, their nameless faces forming a sea around Celeste.


It’s just a dream.


“Taeko, I’m so proud of you, baby.” her mother surfaces in front of her, looking exactly like she did that fateful day. 


Her father appears, this time young and smiling and  happy . “I always knew you could do it!”


“Mama? Papa?” Celeste’s voice comes out as barely a whisper, soft and broken.


She reaches out for them, her voice growing stronger as she cries, “Don’t leave me, please!”


She knows how this will end.


Their faces blur, the prideful smiles on their faces turning into scowls of disgust.


“Where did my baby girl go?” her mother spits. “This  thing  in front of me is certainly not my daughter.”


“I knew you’d never amount to anything. I should have abandoned you on the streets the day you were born,” her father snarls.


It’s just a dream.


As one, they turn and walk away, leaving Celeste behind in the crowd. They don’t look back.


“Mama! Papa!” Celeste falls to her knees, gazing pleadingly at their turned backs. She begins to sob. “What did I do? Why are you leaving?  What did I do?? ” her voice cracks in despair.


The crowd reforms around her, obscuring her view of her parents.




Celeste screams as they close in around her, hands reaching out to touch her arms, her legs, her hair-




She bolts upright with a gasp, shaking profusely. Her breath is coming in harsh gulps and she makes an effort to even it out, silently counting to ten as she breathes in time with the numbers. She doesn’t realize she’s crying until tears drip down her cheeks to land on one pale, porcelain arm.


(The smooth surface of her arm is marred by scratches as they grab her, digging their nails in to keep her still. She screams, but no one’s there to hear.) 


She scrambles out of bed, in such a rush that she gets tangled up in her blankets and falls to the ground in a decidedly undignified manner. She couldn’t care less though.


Celeste grabs her phone, quickly punching in the familiar numbers. A quiet ringing fills the silence as she waits, tears still trickling down her face.


“Hello?” Kyoko’s voice is slurred by sleep, adorably confused in a way that would have made Celeste smile if she wasn’t in this current situation. She can picture exactly how the detective must look, lilac hair ruffled and rubbing the sleep out of her eyes.


“K-Kyoko,” Celeste’s voice wobbles more than she’d like. “Could you c-come over?”


“Of course,” the reply arrives immediately, the detective already sounding infinitely more awake than she had been a few moments ago. “I’m coming down the hall now, just wait a couple of minutes, alright?”


Celeste inhales shakily. “Talk to me. Please.”


“Alright. Did you know that cats don’t usually meow at each other? Meowing is a tactic designed specifically to communicate with humans. When with other cats, they communicate largely through body language.”


She listens absently to Kyoko’s rambling, focusing on the sound of her voice more than the actual words. 


“I’m outside your room now. I have the key with me, so I’ll open it myself. Don’t freak out.”


The door creaks open. Despite the warning, Celeste’s breath hitches, then relaxes as Kyoko steps in, gently closing the door behind her.


Kyoko doesn’t say anything, merely sits down and wraps Celeste in a hug, resting her chin on the latter’s head. It’s warm and comforting and reminds Celeste of how her mother would hug her when she was younger.


“It’s just a dream,” Kyoko repeats it to her over and over again, gently stroking the gambler’s hair.


I know it’s just a dream, but why does it hurt so much?

Chapter Text

[Chat: H O P E]


Hajime: prom night! :D


Hajime: whos going with who?


Sonia: Gundham, Souda and I are all going together!


Chiaki: i thought u hated souda?,,,


Sonia: I did, but he turned out to be surprisingly endearing once you get to know him properly


Chiaki: cool




Peko: Hopefully nothing will go wrong


Hajime: oh no


Peko: ?


Chiaki: u jinxed it


Chiaki: now smtg will def go wrong


Nagito: I’m ready!


Hajime: u know what? chaos is pretty normal for us alr so lets just go see what kind of chaos will occur tonight




Hiyoko: ofc you would think that


Mahiru: Hiyoko, have you finished changing?




Mahiru: Do you need help?


Hiyoko: yes pls


Mahiru: Alright


Chiaki: lets meet in our common room when were ready


Peko: That sounds good


Ibuki: SURE!!!!


Akane: im alr here


Akane: they have food


Nekomaru: I AM HERE TOO!!!!


Chiaki: well just meet u guys there then


Nagito: Does anyone require assistance with makeup? Sonia-san and I are already finished with ours and can help anyone who needs it!


Peko: Ibuki is helping me with mine


Peko: But thank you for offering


Mikan: ummm


Mikan: ii maaaay needd some hhhhhelp


Mikan: mmmy handddds won’tt sstooop shakkingggg lonnggg ennouggh ttto aplyyy ittt propperllly


Chiaki: arent u the ultimate nurse tho?? how do you do things like stitches if ur hands keep shaking?


Mikan: ttthatsss differrrrentt


Chiaki: how tho?????


Nagito: I can definitely help with that, Tsumiki-san!!!


Mikan: thhhanks


Chiaki: ig ill never get an ans

[Chat: BEST CLASS!! ☆*:.。.o(≧▽≦)o.。.:*☆]


Kaede: Wheres everyone?


Shuichi: i’m helping kokichi apply his makeup


Kokichi: did u know shumai does his own eyeliner every day???? ∑(O_O;)


Shuichi: stop moving


Rantaro: i mean


Rantaro: i do my own eyeliner too


Kokichi: thats kinda gay


Maki: Gremlin, you are gay


Kaede: Maki, where are you?


Maki: Standing at the punch bowl


Maki: It’s definitely spiked, btw


Tenko: himiko and i just entered!!!!


Kaede: You both look amazing!!!!!


Miu: oi, kayayday


Kaede: Miu!!!!! You look amazing too!!!!!!!


Kaede: Shit she fainted


Kokichi: from that alone? wow, you may wanna rethink ur choice of women kaebae


Shuichi: stop! fucking! moving!


Kokichi: ok ok im sorry

Maki: That’s bottom behavior right there


Kokichi: stfu

[Chat: BEST CLASS!! ☆*:.。.o(≧▽≦)o.。.:*☆]


Kaede: How did this happen?????


Angie: It is because you all lack Atua in your lives!


Angie: If you repent now, you can still be saved~


Kokichi: literally no one wants to join your creepy fucking cult


Kaede: Kokichi Ouma


Shuichi: i’m not saving you from this one


Kokichi: SHUMAIIIIIIII .。・゚゚・(>_<)・゚゚・。.


Kaede: How the fuck did you set the dance floor on fire


K1-B0: Is this how proms usually are?


Kaito: not rlly


Kaede: You ruined the prom!!!!!!


Maki: Speak for yourself. I enjoyed it


Kaede: You don’t count!!!!


Kaede: How the fuck did this even happen??????


Kaede: Oh my god the principal is going to kill me


Maki: No he’s not


Kaede: ?????


Miu: purple rat abortion


Miu: you ruined my chances of getting a dance with kayayday!


Kokichi: im sorry u dont have the charm to get laid


Shuichi: kokichi you’re already on thin ice


Kaede: Ugh, I cant handle this anymore


Kaede: Is everyone ok?


Tsumugi: I’m just hanging out with Rantaro in his dorm room!


Tenko: himiko fell asleep


Tenko: shes so adorable!!!!!!


Ryoma: See, this is why Gonta and I didn’t go


Rantaro: no, its because ur asocial and gonta wanted to make sure u didnt get lonely


Ryoma: He really is too pure for this world


Korekiyo: Humanity is beautiful!~


Rantaro: ...i have nothing to say to that


Kokichi: shumai im sorry!!!!! gimme my cuddles pls!!!!!!!


Maki: Bottom behavior


Kaede: Shit the principal just called me


Rantaro: f in the chat for kaede


Shuichi: f


Tenko: f


Miu: that bastard better not kill her before i even got the chance to makeout with her


Kokichi: ewww


Tsumugi: F


Ryoma: f


Maki: F


Kirumi: I do not know what this ‘f in the chat’ means, but I wish you luck, Akamatsu-san.


Kaito: f


Angie: This is why everyone should accept Atua!


Shuichi: please stop, yonaga-san




Kokichi: gasp ヽ(°〇°)ノ


Kaede: Shut up, youre the one who caused this mess in the first place


Kirumi: What happened?


Rantaro: did mr. jin yell at u?


Kaede: Surprisingly, no. He didnt even seem mad, just kinda resigned


Kaede: He said that he should have expected this to happen, and the school has enough funds to repair the damage caused


Kaede: What did you do, Maki?????


Maki: Kyoko is literally the principal’s daughter


Kaede: Thank you so much 😭😭😭😭


Maki: Don’t worry about it, the whole mess was caused by my idiot gremlin of a brother, after all


Kokichi: >:(

[Chat: Welcome to hell]


Celestia: Well, that was fun


Makoto: the dance floor was set on fire 


Celestia: Like I said, fun


Kyoko: I got to guilt trip my father into not punishing anyone


Kyoko: So yeah, I’ll agree with Celeste on this one


Makoto: y r u guys like this


Sayaka: The twins are completely drunk rn


Sayaka: @ Leon I fucking hate you


Leon: spiking the punch is a staple for every party!!!


Sayaka: Sure, but now I have one of the twins passed out on the floor while her sister covers her in flour and shoots Nerf bullets everywhere


Makoto: junko is covering mukuro in flour??


Sayaka: Surprisingly, its the other way around


Leon: didnt see that one coming


Sayaka: Please send help


Aoi: sakura and i can help!


Sayaka: Thanks


Makoto: i just saw celeste remove her drills and heels 


Makoto: wtf shes fucking tiny


Kyoko: Shit, she’s probably drunk


Makoto: ?


Kyoko: If she removed her hair extensions while other people were nearby, she’s definitely at least a little tipsy


Kyoko: I’ll go get her, good night everyone


Leon: elaborate on that pls, makoto


Makoto: ok so


Makoto: dont interrupt while im typing k


Makoto: yknow how celeste is like 5’5


Makoto: apparently thats a lie


Makoto: shes always wearing those really tall heels that make her seem taller than she rlly is


Makoto: plus those drills also make her look bigger and more intimidating


Makoto: then she took them off


Makoto: and shes like 5’1


Sayaka: Thats pretty short


Leon: woah


Celestia: shiuhds


Leon: ?


Kyoko: Sorry, she accidentally key smashed in her sleep


Aoi: pics


Aoi: pls i want to see how small she actually is


Kyoko: Don’t tell her about this


Kyoko: sleepingceleste.png


Sayaka: OMG


Chihiro: thats adorable!


Makoto: she looks like a cat!


-Kyoko deleted one image-


Kyoko: This never happened, okay?


Aoi: my eyes have been blessed


Aoi: and sure!

Chapter Text

[Chat: BEST CLASS!! ☆*:.。.o(≧▽≦)o.。.:*☆]


Himiko: oops,,,


Kaede: What happened?


Himiko: um


Himiko: magic spell gone wrong


Himiko: so some of the students may be animals now


Himiko: tenko is a ringtailed lemur


Kaede: What the fuck


Himiko: she makes a very cute raccoon


Kaede: That’s-


Kaede: This issue isnt whether shes cute or not!


Kaede: The issue is that some of our classmates are animals!!!!!!!!!!


Himiko: oh it isnt just limited to our class


Kaede: Can you undo it?


Himiko: no, but itll wear off in a few hours i think


Kaede: Ugh. @Everyone who’s not an animal?


Kirumi: Oh, so that’s why there are more animals than usual around the dorms.


Shuichi: i’m here…


Shuichi: kokichi is a lion cub and he’s causing absolute chaos


Korekiyo: How disappointing. I wished to experience Yumeno-san’s magic for myself, but it seems it was not meant to be


K1-B0: I do not think Yumeno’s magic would work on me.


K1-B0: Miu is a rabbit, by the way


Gonta: Gonta is not an animal!


Rantaro: im here too


Kaede: Alright, now lets take attendance for the humans-turned-animals


Kaede: So Kokichi is a lion cub and Miu is a rabbit


Kirumi: I have a few animals with me right now. I’m guessing Shirogane-san is the blue fox and Momota-kun is the purple wolf, but I don’t know who the deer and the cat are.


Kaede: Okay, Tsumugi is a fox, Kaitos a wolf, and there are two others who arent determined yet


Gonta: Ryoma-kun is with Gonta! He’s an orange and black cat!


Kaede: Thanks, Gonta. Keep an eye on him, ok?


Gonta: Akamatsu-san no need to worry! Ryoma-kun is taking a nap!


Kaede: So the deer and the cat must be Angie and Maki then


Kirumi: I am guessing the cat is Harukawa-san, as she just smacked Momota-kun in the face.


Rantaro: even as a cat, shes still salty


Kaede: Himiko said the other classes are also affected, so Ill go message the other class reps to tell them


Kaede: And now Maki cant get me out of trouble since shes a cat. Great

[Chat: Welcome to hell]


Kyoko: I wake up to find that my girlfriend has somehow turned into a ferret overnight


Kyoko: What the fuck happened


Makoto: ???????


Makoto: shit, akamatsu-san just msged me. apparently one of her classmates messed up on a spell and turned multiple students into animals


Leon: woah, cool


Makoto: not cool!!! its not cool at all!!!!


Kyoko: Awww, she’s really cuddly


Makoto: who else is an animal??


Junko: u do know that if theyre animals, they wont b able to respond, rite?


Makoto: fuck


Makoto: uhhhh


Makoto: ok just msg if u know if someones been turned into an animal


Chihiro: taka told me mondo is a hyena now


Mukuro: Sayaka is a cat


Sakura: I found a beaver in Hina’s room, so I think it’s safe to assume that Hina is the beaver


Byakuya: Plebeians


Makoto: shut up


Leon: guys theres a horse in the garden


Leon: oh wait its yasuhiro


Leon: hes still got that classic hairstyle


Makoto: ok so everyones accounted for except toko and hifumi


-Chihiro added Komaru to the chat-


Komaru: hey big bro! hey big bros classmates!


Komaru: tokis w/ me, shes a cat too


Sakura: Yamada is asleep in his room


Makoto: ig everyones accounted for now


Makoto: akamatsu said the spell would wear off in a few hours


Komaru: awww, but toko makes such a cute cat :(


Makoto: until then, just keep an eye on the animals


Makoto: oh, plus the pets of the ppl who own them


Kyoko: ferretceleste.png


Komaru: omg shes adorable


Kyoko: Right?


Makoto: guys pls

[Chat: H O P E]


Hajime: as im sure u all know, some of our classmates have been turned into animals by yumeno-sans spell gone wrong


Hajime: so now i need to know whos an animal


Hajime: chiaki is a very small cat and nagito is an arctic fox


Sonia: Gundham is a hamster! And Souda is a ferret!


Mahiru: Hiyoko is an extremely bitey chihuahua. I suggest you all do not try to pet her


Hajime: noted. anyone else?


Peko: I may require assistance. I am stuck looking after several animals, including Fuyuhiko, a tiger, Ibuki, a cat(??), Nidai-kun, a very big lion who I am struggling to contain and Owari-san, a bear, who’s eating all the food in the kitchen


Hajime: oh. ultimate impostor, u there?


Impostor: I am


Hajime: could u help pekoyama-san pls


Impostor: Sure


Peko: Oh, I just noticed that Tsumiki-san is here too. She’s a rabbit


Hajime: teruteru?


Sonia: I found a pig in the kitchen wearing a chef’s hat


Hajime: thats everyone then. pls make sure the animals dont destroy the place


Peko: No promises

[Chat: BEST CLASS!! ☆*:.。.o(≧▽≦)o.。.:*☆]


Kaede: hELP


Rantaro: whats wrong?


Kaede: Kokichi and Maki keep pulling pranks on us


Kaede: They are a terrifying duo


Rantaro: i c what u mean. harukawa just made me have a heart attack by hiding under the sink and looking out with only her eyes visible


Kaede: Right? And its even scarier now because she blends into the dark with her black fur and her eyes actually glow


Kirumi: Ouma-kun managed to trap Momota-kun with string.


Kirumi: I am working to cut the string to free him, but I need someone to watch the others, please.


Shuichi: i can do it. i’m pretty sure kokichi is hiding somewhere in the common room, anyways


Kaede: Fuck, Maki just escaped out the window


Rantaro: not good


Kaede: Shes too fast, I lost her


Shuichi: maybe try luring her out with food?


Kaede: I just said I lost her


Kaede: As in, I dont know where she is


Kaede: Not that she wont come out of a hiding place


Shuichi: oh. sorry


Kaede: No its fine. Sorry for snapping at you, Im just stressed


Rantaro: at least it isnt as bad as the 77th class. owari-senpai apparently ate their whole stock of food


Kaede: Rantaro you fucking idiot


Kaede: You fucking jinxed it


Shuichi: guys...the kitchen is on fire



Chapter Text

[Chat: BEST CLASS!! ☆*:.。.o(≧▽≦)o.。.:*☆]


Kaede: Alright, the fire has been put out. Now to find Maki


Rantaro: check the school grounds. she usually likes to hang out there near the trees


Kaede: Will do


Kaede: Shit shit fuck shit


Shuichi: what’s wrong?


Kaede: Alrihttgt ime  tyoing whiole runnigng


Kaede: I jusht spotted a kijdd runnuign away wihtth Makiji andd twon othertr animals


Rantaro: not good not good


Kaede: I enabled autocorrect now




Kaede: Maki and co. are clearly very angry


Kaede: And while I dont want to see the kid get hurt by them, I also want to hit him over the head for running away with them in the first place


Kirumi: I am afraid that I am currently occupied with making sure our other classmates don’t escape.


Shuichi: i’ll contact the 78th class. they seem to have the least number of classmates who were transformed


Kaede: Pls hurry

[Chat: Welcome to hell]


-Chihiro added Shuichi into the chat-


Shuichi: thank you, fujisaki-san


Shuichi: we require help


Shuichi: a kid has been spotted on the school grounds kidnapping some of our classmates


Shuichi: harukawa-san has been taken, as well as another cat and a ferret


Kyoko: FUCK


Makoto: kyoko??


Kyoko: He took Celeste


Kyoko: She’s missing


Komaru: i think the other cat may be toko D:


Shuichi: kaede says she turned her location tracking on. the 79th class is currently occupied, so i needed to reach out for help


Kyoko: I’m already gone


Sakura: I can take care of our remaining classmates, the rest of you should go


Leon: aight


Mukuro: Take care of Sayaka please


Junko: sis just nyoooomed out of the room. what happened?


Junko: oic. i cant run fast but gl!


Shuichi: thank you 

[Chat: BEST CLASS!! ☆*:.。.o(≧▽≦)o.。.:*☆]


Kaede: We caught him!


Kaede: The little bastard didnt even apologise, even when we told him the animals were our classmates. He was just mad he didnt get to keep them as pets wtf >:(


Rantaro: at least you got them back safely


Kaede: Yeah, though they seem rather traumatised


Kaede: Celeste-san practically sprinted over to Kirigiri-san


Rantaro: damn


Shuichi: harukawa-san has escaped to the ceiling


Kaede: Just make sure all the windows and doors are closed


Kirumi: Shinguji-kun, do you have any knowledge of what the different animals eat?


Korekiyo: Kekekeke, indeed I do. What animals are present at this moment?


Kaede: Uhhh


Kaede: Two cats (Maki and Ryoma), a fox (Tsumugi), a rabbit (Miu), a wolf (Kaito), a lion cub (Kokichi), a deer (Angie) and a ringtailed lemur (Tenko)


Korekiyo: Alright, I will come down to the kitchen to help prepare some food


Kirumi: Thank you.


Korekiyo: I assume that I should not prepare bugs as part of their meal?


Kaede: I dont think theyll be very pleased to hear that they ate bugs


Gonta: Bugs are friends! D:


Korekiyo: I shall substitute them with berries instead, then


Kaede: Sounds good

[Chat: H O P E]


Peko: I heard that some of the animals got kidnapped earlier?


Hajime: yeah. celeste-san, fukawa-san and harukawa-san


Hajime: luckily they were safely retrieved


Peko: That’s good to hear. Also, it turns out that Ibuki is not a cat, but a dog that I mistook for a cat due to her hairstyle


Mahiru: Hiyoko is trying to bite Mikan, what should I do??


Hajime: Maybe try spraying her with water to dissuade her


Mahiru: Anyone have a small spray bottle?


Impostor: I saw one in the kitchen earlier. I was considering using it on Nidai-kun and Owari-san but they didn’t seem bothered by water


Mahiru: Alright


Hajime: chiakilyingontopofnagitowhilebothsleep.png


Hajime: theyre too cute…


Peko: For once, I have animals who are not scared of me. I am enjoying myself


Sonia: I, too, am enjoying myself! Souda and Gundham make the most adorable animals!


Mahiru: Guys, do you know who’s the black cat that just appeared


Mahiru: The doors are all locked, how did they even get in??


Hajime: i think thats harukawa-san. akamatsu-san mentioned that she was quite the escape artist, which is how she nearly got kidnapped


Peko: I imagined that Ouma-kun would be the one doing the escaping


Hajime: he seems too attached to saihara-kun to do that


Mahiru: What should we do about her?


Hajime: i messaged akamatsu-san. she said to keep harukawa-san here while she comes over


Peko: Maki just curled up on my lap


Mahiru: I need to take a picture of that


Mahiru: makisittingonpekoslap.png


Mahiru: So cute!


Hajime: akamatsu-san just arrived


Peko: So apparently Maki was able to sense Akamatsu-san’s presence and has fled the vicinity


Hajime: godammit

[Chat: Welcome to hell]


Makoto: hey so i just saw harukawa-san enter our dorm rooms


Shuichi: oh, so that’s where she is. i’ll go tell kaede


Shuichi: please close all the doors and windows. she’s already escaped multiple times


Kyoko: She’s in my dorm room


Kyoko: She just curled up beside Celeste and I


Kyoko: I think she’s asleep


Shuichi: i told kaede, and she says to just keep harukawa-san in your room, since she keeps evading kaede


Kyoko: Alright. The two of them are very cute, anyways


Komaru: mood


Shuichi: and yumeno-san says that the spell will wear off in another hour


Leon: thank god


Leon: yasuhiro may be cool as a horse, but he keeps accidentally breaking things


Shuichi: i’ll take my leave now


-Shuichi has left the chat-


Makoto: komaru, u shld leave 2


Komaru: nah


Makoto: chihiro, could u remove her?


Chihiro: i could


Chihiro: but its fun to have her here so im not gonna


Makoto: betrayal

Chapter Text

[Chat: BEST CLASS!! ☆*:.。.o(≧▽≦)o.。.:*☆]


Maki: I am so glad to be human again


Miu: yeah, how would i bless the world with my genius mind if i was a fucking rabbit??


Kokichi: himi-chan, pls turn the cum dumpster back into a rabbit ( ̄ヘ ̄)


Tsumugi: That was fun! It was like something out of a fanfiction!


Maki: ...Fanfiction?


Gonta: Help! D:


Gonta: Gonta accidentally swallow bug friend!!!!!! DDDD:


Kaede: Oh no! How?


Gonta: Gonta was trying to kiss bug friend but accidentally swallowed it!


Kokichi: omg thats fucking dumb


Kirumi: I am afraid that if you swallowed it, the bug would probably be dead by now. Was it a poisonous bug?


Gonta: No


Kaede: Aw, dont be sad, Gonta. We can have a funeral for it if you want?


Maki: Gremlin, not another word


Gonta: Gonta thinks that would be nice :’(


Kaede: Alright, everyone down in the common room in ten minutes, were having a funeral for Gonta’s bug


Angie: Angie can sing a hymn!


Rantaro: ill get some flowers from my greenhouse


Kirumi: I could bake a cake?


Kaede: No, yes and yes. Angie, you can sing if it isnt something related to Atua


Angie: Maybe one day you all will accept Atua into your hearts


Kokichi: never (`ー´)


Maki: Lemme just inform Celeste, since we were planning to have tea today


Korekiyo: This will be the first time I am attending a funeral for a bug. I look forward to it


Kokichi: weirdo


Shuichi: um


Shuichi: i'm actually busy solving a case right now so i might not be able to attend


Shuichi: sorry


Gonta: No worries! Gonta is already very happy that friends help plan funeral for bug!


Shuichi: i’ll drop by later if i can


Kirumi: What kind of cake would you prefer?


Gonta: Gonta likes strawberry :)


Kirumi: Alright

[Chat: Dysfunctional family]


Maki: Kichi and I won’t be able to have tea with you today


Maki: We’re attending a funeral for one of our classmate’s pet bugs


Kokichi: do i haaaaaave to


Maki: Yes, shut up


Celestia: I see. Give my condolences to your classmate


Maki: Will do


Celestia: In that case, do the two of you want to come over? @Kotoko @Nagisa 


Nagisa: I’m busy studying 


Kotoko: come onnnnnn, nagi-chan!!! u cant keep studying sm!!


Nagisa: No, sorry


Nagisa: I already promised Jataro I’d help tutor him, anyways


Celestia: Well then, Kotoko, it seems like you will have Kyoko and I to yourself today


Kotoko: \(≧▽≦)/


Kotoko: can i see ur cat??


Celestia: Of course. Kyoko, dear, could you go fetch Kotoko?


Kyoko: Sure


Kotoko: lets go shopping!!!!!!!


Celestia: Do you want to see my cat first or shall we go directly to the mall?


Kotoko: cat, then mall




“Ooh, can I get this?” Kotoko asked, clutching the pink purse she had found to her chest.


“Of course, darling. Is there anything else you want from this store before we move on?” Celeste said, absent-mindedly counting out the money to pay for Kotoko’s purse.


Kotoko shook her head. “Nope! But after this, can we check out the pet shop?”


Kyoko watched her girlfriend and their adopted daughter with a fond smile on her face, noting that Celeste seemed oddly excited for some reason. Then again, it was Celeste.

“Kyoko, dear, isn’t this one most adorable?” 


Kyoko glanced over to where Celeste was pointing. Sitting in the cage near the window was a pretty white kitten with pink eyes, which Kotoko was currently fawning over.


“The sign says she’s albino,” Kyoko mused. “That’s pretty rare in cats.”


“Then I suppose that means that this little one is special.”


The detective immediately understood what her girlfriend was hinting at, glancing at Kotoko before asking, “Do you think she’s responsible enough?”


Celeste sighed. “Kyoko, sweetheart, if she isn’t able to take care of it, I can always step in for her. You know that.”


“I suppose I do. I assume that you’ll be buying the cat right now?”


Celeste shot her a playful smile. “Why, you know me so well, my darling detective!”

“Oh. My. God. You are just the most adorable little kitty, aren’t you?” Kotoko squealed, poking her finger into the cat carrier.


“Kotoko, dear, don’t stick your finger in the cage, please,” Celeste said, gently pulling Kotoko’s hand away. “Now, we have to finish setting up the kitty’s stuff first before we can let the kitty out. Where do you want to place the food and water bowls?” 


Kotoko hummed, putting a finger to her mouth. “Beside my cupboard?”


“That sounds good,” Celeste nodded. “What about the bed?”


“Can’t the kitty just sleep on my bed?” Kotoko asked.


“But you might accidentally roll over her in your sleep and we don’t want that happening, do we?”


Kotoko gasped, her eyes going comically wide. “No! Kitty needs to live a loooooooong life with me!”


“How about at the foot of your bed instead, hmm?” Celeste suggested.


“Sounds good!”


Kyoko really did love their little dysfunctional family.

(And of course, Kotoko bragged shamelessly about her new kitten - named Luna, after the one Harry Potter character - to her friends, prompting them to ask their respective adoptive parents for their own pets. This was how Monaca ended up with several large black tarantulas in her room, and why no one would enter the Lil’ Ultimates’ dorm anymore.)


[Chat: Welcome to hell]




Leon: i go to the dorms to visit my son and find these humongous spiders in their common room


Celestia: Actually, they’re tarantulas


Leon: WHY r there tarantulas???????


Junko: i bought them for my daughter monaca!!!!


Junko: arent they simply despairful?




Junko: no can do. monaca likes them so u cant throw them out


Sayaka: Whered you even get them from?


Junko: oh, one of the underclassmen. he rears them for his ultimate talent


Junko: another one of his classmates apparently also likes his spiders and keeps them as pets now 2


Makoto: welp. im never going to the 79th dorms again

[Chat: BEST CLASS!! ☆*:.。.o(≧▽≦)o.。.:*☆]




Kirumi: Apologies, those are my pets.


Rantaro: u like spiders?


Kirumi: Indeed. I also enjoy collecting their webs to use.


Kaede: bYE

Chapter Text

Danganronpa child  headcannons


-Much more outgoing and excitable than usual

-Unable to focus for too long on one task, may have ADHD

-Hc that he only started being more shy after he became a detective and started having to deal with more aggressive people

-Just?? The cutest??? He’s just trying his best, be nice



-Personality is pretty similar to her usual self, though she’s a bit meaner

-Like, she’s not an outright bully, but she won’t be going out of her way to help people 



-Shy and introverted, basically like Shuichi’s usual personality

-Social anxiety, fear of adults, trust issues, depression, etc. Just- so many issues

-At this point, he’s alone in the orphanage since Maki hasn’t arrived yet. So he gets bullied a lot by the bigger kids

-Very sweet, likes to help people



-Your classic playground bully but with good (if flawed) intentions

-Anger issues

-Picks on Kokichi a lot, and will bully the others too if he thinks they’re too weak

-He was spoiled by his grandparents a lot, and didn’t really learn what was socially acceptable until later on. So when he bullies the other kids, he’s actually just mad they won’t stand up for themselves, and is trying to build them up. It doesn’t actually work




-So many emotions, what do I do with them

-Cries a lot over small things, but will try to stick up for her friends if they need her. She’s very strong for her size

-She was raised by poor parents, so of course she was bullied in school, developing a very timid personality due to this. 

-Her personality changed after her parents died, and she had to learn to fend for herself (but since she’s only five, she hasn’t reached that point yet and is thus still a crybaby)




-Extremely energetic, you literally can’t get her to stay still for more than two seconds (again, possible ADHD?)

-Hasn’t begun her training yet, so still tolerates males. Somehow can sense any lesbians in a ten-foot radius

-Can’t have sugar due to her hyperactiveness



-Sleepy girl

-Didn’t change much

-She falls asleep everywhere. In her food, while she’s walking, when she’s holding a conversation, literally anywhere there’s space

-Has the cutest fuzzy cat hoodie



-Cheerful and optimistic

-Loves her friends (and her art)

-The cult hasn’t corrupted her mind yet. She does still believe in Atua, but not as aggressively as she does in-game

-Just wants to see everyone happy :)



-A V O C A D O

-He’s that one friend who no one knows how he got there, but he just is

-Kinda chill

-Not very responsible (he literally lost all 12 of his sisters in different countries. How the fuck did he manage to do that???)



-Not as subservient 

-Other than that, pretty much the same. She likes to please people, so she’ll do things to make them happy, not just because they ask her to

-Genuinely cares for everyone

-The most responsible



-Has the will to live??? Gasp

-Cats are life

-Like Rantaro, he’s just kinda chilling there



-Not creepily obsessed with people, just awkward due to lack of social interaction

-He can see spirits

-Pretty good friends with the more introverted kids, such as Maki, Kokichi and Miu

-His sister was really in the hospital when he was younger, except they never did- that. After she died, her spirit continued to follow him around, so his younger self just converses with her throughout this fic



-Like Kokichi, she’s very introverted due to the bullies

-She fidgets a lot. She likes carrying little gadgets around so that she can fiddle with them if she feels like it

-She’s incredibly smart, and gets bullied because of it

-Prefers hanging out with Kokichi rather than Korekiyo or Maki, due to their similar traits. Also, she doesn’t know how to talk with Kiyo (because he’s perfectly fine just standing there in silence) and also doesn’t know how to deal with Maki’s frequent crying



-He doesn’t exist :)



-Wild child

-Doesn’t know how to talk


-Might actually have rabies





-Seriously, the biggest fucking weeb you will ever find

-She’s the same though


[Chat: BEST CLASS!! ☆*:.。.o(≧▽≦)o.。.:*☆]


Kokichi: what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck


Shuichi: what happened?


Kokichi: my sister is fucking crazy \(º □ º l|l)/


Kokichi: i tried to prank her by putting salt in her coffee instead of sugar and she just drank the whole thing in one shot while maintaining eye contact


Kokichi: then she told me it was great and she wanted more


Kaede: How much salt did you put????


Kokichi: idk like the whole thing


Kaede: What the fuck


Kaede: @Maki how are you still alive?????


Maki: Bitch, I grew up dirt poor for the first 6 years of my life; lived on the streets for nearly a year after my parents died; stayed in an orphanage where the caretakers were neglectful as fuck and didn’t provide enough food for the >100 kids there; and spent the last few years of my life working for a fucking assassination organisation. You really think I’m going to be fazed by a little bit of salt?


Kokichi: huh? we had enough food at the orphanage tho?


Maki: Ha.


Maki: That’s because I willingly gave up my food so that the rest of you would have a little bit more to eat


Shuichi: i- 


Rantaro: this escalated really fucking quickly


-Maki deleted three messages-


Maki: I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to do that. I’m just really tired


Kirumi: Maybe you should go to bed.


Maki: ...Yeah you know what, I’ll do that


Kokichi: im sorry for earlier


Maki: It’s fine, it was mostly my fault anyways. Want to come over?


Kokichi: yeah okie („• ֊ •„)


Kaede: Those two can be surprisingly soft sometimes


Rantaro: just dont let them hear u


Miu: hey bitchasses


Miu: look what i found


Miu: waterbottle.png


Himiko: nyeh,,,thats mine


Miu: its mine now


Himiko: dont touch it


Miu: why?


Kaede: Miu, just give Himiko her bottle back


Tenko: before tenko drop-kicks you!


Miu: uh i accidentally droppe




“How the fuck did this even happen,” Kyoko deadpanned, staring at the room full of children.


Makoto, in contrast, looked distraught, trying to manage several children at once. “I don’t know! I just came in here to get something from Akamatsu-san and found them like this!”


Celeste blinked, placing a hand over her mouth. “Oh dear.”


“‘Oh dear’ is about right! This is simply despairful!” Junko cackled maniacally.


“Do you know where Maki and Kokichi are?” Kyoko interrupted Junko’s ramblings about ‘the sweet sweet despair’.


Makoto lunged, barely stopping a tiny Tenko (who immediately punched him in the face) from knocking over a vase. “Uhhhh...I think they were with Shinguji-kun and Iruma-san upstairs?”


Celeste and Kyoko immediately headed up the stairs, ignoring Makoto’s cries for help.


“So...I’ll be leaving now.” Leon strolled out the door, hands held behind his head.


“What’s your name?” Hina asked, picking up tiny Tenko, who was reaching towards the vase again.


“Tenko!” she cheered excitedly, before pointing towards Sakura, then back at Hina. “Lesbians!”


Sakura chuckled. “Seems like this little one has an excellent gaydar.”

“Kokichi! Maki!” Celeste called, stepping daintily down the hallway.


“S-stop it!” A high-pitched voice suddenly cried.


Celeste and Kyoko exchanged a worried glance, before looking around the corner.


Maki was standing in front of Kokichi, tears streaming down her face as she confronted Kaito. Kokichi was slumped against the wall, holding a bruised cheek while Miu and Kiyo tried to comfort him (more successfully on Miu’s part since Kiyo was so fucking awkward).


“Huh?” Kaito tilted his head to the side, punching his palm. “C’mon, Maki-roll, I’m just trying to help! See, he won’t even stand up for himself!”


“What’s going on here?” Celeste’s voice was as cold as ice when she interjected.


Kaito grinned at her. “I was just helping Kokichi to build up self-confidence!”


“Get out.”




“Get. Out.”


Kaito fled the room. Celeste knelt beside Kokichi, tilting his head up to get a better look at his face.


“Do you know who I am?” she asked gently, her voice a stark contrast from how she had addressed Kaito.


Kokichi sniffed. “I-i think so?”


Behind her, Kyoko took out a packet of tissues, wiping away Maki’s tears. The small girl clung to her tightly, wrapping her legs around Kyoko’s waist like a koala.


“Alright then. You two, follow us,” Celeste instructed Miu and Kiyo, who were both awkwardly standing around at this point.


“Celeste, please tell me you’re not going to do what I think you’re going to do.”


“Kyoko, we’re adopting these kids.”


“...I don’t know why I even try anymore.”

“Angie, please stop drawing on Himiko’s face- Rantaro, Ryoma, why didn’t you stop her?” Makoto looked just about ready to drop dead on his feet.


“Couldn’t be bothered.”


“I thought it looked fun.”


“Don’t worry! Angie used non-toxic paint! It will wash off when Himiko takes a shower,” Angie proclaimed cheerfully.


“Gonta, no!”

“So...we’re adopting Tenko, right?”


“Of course.”

“I wanna watch Kimetsu no Yaiba!” 


“But I wanna watch Boku no Hero Academia!”


“No, Shingeki no Kyojin is the best!”


“Oh, you’re right. Play Shingeki no Kyojin, blueberry lady!”


“You guys are like five. Why are you watching M18+ shows?” Sayaka groaned.


Junko hadn’t stopped cackling. “Let them watch it! It’ll teach them exactly how twisted the world is!”


“No! We’re going to watch something appropriate.”


The kids - Kaede, Shuichi, and Tsumugi - all groaned in unison. “But we wanna watch Shingeki no Kyojin!” Kaede whined. 


“And I said no! I’m the adult here!”


The trio glanced at each other, then back at Sayaka, before pouncing on her like cats.


“Shingeki no Kyojin!”


“Play it, blueberry lady!”


“Or else!”


Junko just stood back, watching Sayaka get overwhelmed by toddlers with a wide grin on her face.


“How utterly despairful!”

Mukuro stared at the child sitting obediently in front of her. “Huh. It seems I got the easy one,” she mused to herself.


“What do you want to do?” she said aloud.


Kirumi stared at her for a moment, before magically producing a cup of water from behind her back, offering it to Mukuro. “You look thirsty.”


“Uh, thanks?” Mukuro took the glass, downing it in one gulp. “ there anything else you want to do besides give me water?”


“Yes. I wanted to tell you that Gokuhara-kun is climbing the building right outside this window.”


“What the fuck-”

“Celeste, why do you do this?” 


Celeste glanced over from where she had been talking to Kiyo (who was incidentally telling her about his sister’s spirit). “Whatever do you mean?”


Leon gestured vaguely at her. “I left not more than ten minutes ago, returned, and found that you have adopted two more children??”


Celeste scowled at him. “They’re both traumatized as fuck, did you really think I would see them and not adopt them immediately?”


“Fair point.”

Chapter Text

[Chat: BEST CLASS!! ☆*:.。.o(≧▽≦)o.。.:*☆]


Miu: well, im never touching himikos stuff again


Himiko: wise choice


Kaito: why do i vaguely remember being terrified of celeste?


Shuichi: that would be because your younger self was bullying kokichi and she had to step in


Shuichi: or so i’ve heard. i don’t remember much


Korekiyo: Does Celeste-san make a habit out of adopting children randomly?...


Miu: never seen the creep this confused


Maki: Yes but also no


Maki: She only spontaneously adopts children if she thinks they look traumatised, lack good parental figures in their lives and are traumatised


Shuichi: you said traumatised twice


Maki: Yes, I noticed


Kokichi: trauma is a very important criteria of being one of celes children (* ^ ω ^)


Korekiyo: ...I see


Korekiyo: I will have to remove myself for a few hours to think upon this


Miu: im pretty confused too but ill roll with it


Maki: Good choice


Maki: Also, Yonaga-san, she’s thinking about adopting you next


Angie: But Angie is not traumatised?


Maki: Hmm


Tenko: tenko was adopted by two lesbians!!! best day ever!!!!!!

[Chat: Dysfunctional family]


-Kyoko added Korekiyo and 1 other into the chat-


Maki: Welcome to the chaos that we call a family 


Korekiyo: Greetings. I am admittedly still rather confused over this entire situation, but less so compared to an hour ago


Celeste: Good


Kokichi: nicknaming time!!!!! ヽ(・∀・)ノ


Miu: what the fuck is nicknaming time


Maki: We all have little nicknames we call each other. Gremlin here is just saying that he’s going to come up with yours


Kokichi: yep! maki is makiroll, kotoko is koko, nagisa is nagi-chan, and im either kichi or gremlin, depending on what mood makiroll is in


Korekiyo: I see. You may just call me Kiyo, if you so wish


Kotoko: OwO???? new siblings?????


Kokichi: yep! uwu


Miu: that is cursed. never do it again


Maki: Don’t bother


Celeste: Miu’s name is already pretty short though


Korekiyo: It does still possess two syllables, however


Kokichi: ive got it! her new nickname will be bitch


Miu: tf????


Maki: Sounds good


Kotoko: nice


Miu: y is everyone just going along with this???


Kokichi: because ur a bitch


Celeste: Now now, Kichi, she just acts this way because of the ✨T R A U M A✨


Kokichi: ...cant argue with that


Miu: i meant to ask, y do u wanna adopt that cult leader? she looks fine to me


Celeste: You mean Yonaga? Well, I’m pretty sure brainwashing a child to devote themself completely to a god who demands monthly blood sacrifices, verbally abusing them when they questioned their beliefs and threatening all sorts of gruesome punishments if they dared to rebel would be considered incredibly traumatising, wouldn’t you?


Miu: that i consider it, thats horribly messed up


Maki: Exactly why Celeste wants to adopt her


Korekiyo: Everything suddenly makes a lot more sense now

[Chat: BEST CLASS!! ☆*:.。.o(≧▽≦)o.。.:*☆]


Kaede: Might need some assistance over here


Kaede: Pretty sure our classmates are about to commit another murder


Kirumi: Oh dear. What happened this time?


Kaede: To be fair, they have a very good reason for attacking this dude. If I didnt want them to possibly go to jail for murder (since I dont have enough money for the bail), I would totally join them


Kaede: Ok so this guy was kinda hating on Hoshi-kun, saying he didn’t deserve a place in Hopes Peak. You know, the usual. But then he started making comments about Hoshi-kuns time in prison and how an ex-offender shouldn’t be attending a prestigious place like Hopes Peak, and how he bets that Hoshi-kun doesnt have any friends


Kaede: Hoshi-kun just shut down, and it happened that a few of our other classmates (including myself) were walking by and heard what happened so now I am trying to make sure they dont actually kill him 


Rantaro: thats probably a lost cause. he might testify against u in court if he lives, and our friends will go to jail anyways. better to just commit a clean murder


Kaede: Good point. Alright, tell Fujisaki-senpai that theyll need to wipe all incriminating evidence from the cameras again


Rantaro: will do


Kirumi: Inform me when you’re done, please. I will help clean up.


Kaede: Sure. Oh and Gonta? We may need your help disposing of the body later


Gonta: Gonta will help! Bad guy no hurt Gonta’s friends >:(


Korekiyo: So this is what fighting with your siblings is like. Fascinating


Rantaro: you fought maki? or kokichi?


Miu: hey, i exist too yknow


Korekiyo: I am afraid you misunderstood. I was fighting alongside them in killing the person who insulted Hoshi-kun


Rantaro: that makes a lot more sense


Kokichi: kiyo-chan was soooooo cool! he was like ‘i am afraid its time 4 u to die’ all scary-looking and shit, and the guy was like ‘ahhhhhhhhh no pls dont hurt me’ and kiyo-chan was like ‘too late’ and the guy totally wet his pants! it was amazing!!!!!! 。゚( ゚^∀^゚)゚。


Kaede: It was pretty cool


Korekiyo: Thank you


Tsumugi: This fanfiction is crazy. I doubt the author knows what she’s writing either


Kaede: Huh?


Maki: Wdym ‘fanfiction’?


Tsumugi: Don’t worry about it

[Chat: Welcome to hell]


Makoto: celes, how do u somehow have even more children now?


Junko: LMAO, Makoto sounds so done with life


Celeste: Hopefully I’ll have another one by the time this week is over


Makoto: pls stop, i keep finding them everywhere in our dorms and its vaguely concerning at this point


Leon: hes right. if i come down to the common room at night to find harukawa staring at me one more time, im leaving


Celeste: Hmm...I was contemplating of buying over one of the unused dorm buildings for my kids, Kyoko and I


Leon: if it means i stop getting these nightmare fuels, pls do it


Sayaka: Can you even do that?


Makoto: i dont think so


Celeste: It has been done. The second block to the right is now ours


Makoto: i stand corrected


Kyoko: Cool. I’ll go tell the kids


Kyoko: When will we move over?


Celeste: We can do that over the weekend


Chihiro: just wanted to inform yall that the 79th class committed another murder and have asked me to wipe the security cams again


Makoto: they what?????

Chapter Text

“Bitch! Where do you want this box?”


“I don’t know, just put it somewhere that has space, I guess??”


“Whose snake is this?!”


Shouts of varying degrees rang out inside the new dorm area. Despite this, the atmosphere was light and cheerful, the yells more playful banter than actual arguments.


Kyoko set down a heavy box, wiping sweat off her forehead. She wasn’t physically unfit by any means - and certainly more so than her girlfriend - but lifting boxes for nearly two hours now had taken a toll on her body.


“Need some help?” Maki’s quiet voice offered, prompting Kyoko to straighten up to face her, not having heard her enter. Maki was carrying at least three boxes at once, making Kyoko feel incredibly weak in comparison.


“No, it’s fine. You look like you have your hands pretty full already,” Kyoko responded, hefting the box back into her hands.


The two worked side-by-side in silence, only talking when they needed to ask the other for something.


“Why did you guys adopt me?” Maki suddenly asked, shifting her crimson gaze from the boxes to Kyoko.


Kyoko blinked at her, taking a moment to think it through, before replying simply, “You needed it.”


Maki looked momentarily frustrated at her cryptic answer but quickly schooled her features back into her normal impassive expression, accepting Kyoko’s response with a nod.


“We should hang out sometime,” Kyoko murmured.


Maki paused, shooting her a glance. “Alright.”


They continued unpacking in silence for the rest of the time.

“Ugh, we’re finally done!” Miu flopped onto the sofa with a groan.


Maki walked past, somehow carrying even more items than before. “Not quite. We still need to organize everything we unpacked. This prompted a series of groans from Miu and Kokichi, who had sat down beside Miu.


“Guys, guys! Look what I took!!!!!” Kotoko said excitedly, racing down the stairs with Nagisa following behind. She held up her phone to reveal a photo of Celeste and Kyoko, with the former having fallen asleep on the latter, worn out from exhaustion. Kyoko hadn’t noticed the camera, caught in the motion of brushing a hand through Celeste’s hair softly.


Miu laughed loudly. “You definitely have to send that to the group chat later!!”


“Hmm, is this not an invasion of their privacy? This seems like...quite the intimate moment,” Korekiyo mused.


“When you live in this household, nothing is private anymore,” Kokichi said, his tone completely serious.


“I suppose you make a fair point.”

“Kyoko? Are you there?”


Kyoko turned her head at the sound of Maki’s voice, briefly pausing from where she had been examining her latest case. “I am, you can come in.”


Maki entered the room, quietly closing the door behind her. “Hey.”


“Hello. Do you need something?” Kyoko asked, turning around fully to face Maki. 


Instead of her usual serious expression, Maki looked...embarrassed? She pulled at one of her pigtails before saying, “You...said that we should hang out sometime, right?” By the time she finished her sentence, her face was noticeably redder than it had been before.


Kyoko blinked. “I did. But you could have just told me in advance about this, though, I would have cleared out my schedule.”


“O-oh. Sorry. I’ve...never done this sort of thing before.” At this point, Maki’s face very closely resembled a tomato, and Kyoko rushed to reassure her.


“It’s fine. What would you like to do?” she asked.


Maki glanced curiously at the papers scattered haphazardly around them. “What are you doing right now?”


“Ah, I was recently assigned a murder case. I thought I’d have closed it by now, but it’s a little trickier than I had anticipated,” Kyoko explained, shuffling some papers around.


“Can I see?” 


Kyoko nodded, moving back to give Maki access to the papers. The red-eyed girl studied the papers intently for a while, before pointing out a seemingly random puddle of blood, showing it to Kyoko.


“I recognize this. See, it kind of looks like a small bird?” 


“I...guess?” It did not, in fact, resemble a bird. Kyoko squinted at it, tilting her head until she could finally make out the vague shape of wings and a head with a beak.


“That was the calling card of one of the assassins I knew, back when I was in the organization. She would always paint a small bird with the blood of her victims. But since her drawing skills were so bad, the police never realized that it was meant to be a bird, and thus didn’t connect the dots between the different murders she caused.”


Kyoko nodded along, absorbing the information like a sponge. “So, do you know how to catch her?”


“Somewhat. I don’t think she’ll be exactly willing to turn herself in, but I can ask her who orchestrated the hit on this victim. Give me a minute.” Maki whipped out her phone, typing quickly on the screen.


A few moments later, she held up her phone, now with the image of a balding, middle-aged man on it.


“This is the guy, Rokurou Ito. You won’t be able to catch the assassin, since she’s, well, an assassin, but she sent me his address. Here, I’ll send it to you.” True to her word, a message appeared in Kyoko’s DMs in a few seconds, complete with a map of the general vicinity.


“Isn’t she an assassin? Why’s she helping us so readily?” Kyoko asked, feeling her suspicions flare up at Maki’s words.


Maki tapped out a few more messages on her phone. “Well, apparently this guy was a real asshole, tried to touch her even though she clearly said no. Also, not all assassins are completely heartless, most of us are just in it for the money. So now that she’s received her money, she has no obligation to not sell him out, if that makes sense.”


“I suppose it does. I’ll be sending the location to the local police now, though I have no clue how to explain that the location was given to me by the very assassin who murdered him.”


To her surprise, Maki laughed. “You can just make something up, can’t you?”


“Yes, but we all know that I’m terrible at lying,” Kyoko grumbled. “Maybe I should ask Celeste to concoct a story for me.”


“You know, when I came over here, I wasn’t expecting to solve a case. Maybe we should do something like this again.” Maki shot her a small smile, red eyes sparkling with happiness.


“Sure. Maybe next time we’ll do something more normal, though.”


“I doubt that’s possible. We all have trauma.”

When Celeste asked Korekiyo to watch Kotoko and Nagisa while she bought groceries, this was not how he expected this day to go.


“Your hair is so long and soft! Can I braid it?” Kotoko exclaimed excitedly.


Korekiyo blinked in confusion. What does my hair being long have to do with her sudden desire to braid it? After a few seconds of him pondering over this while she stared at him, he gave up trying to understand, dipping his head in agreement.


“Yay!” The pink-haired girl was immediately on him, tugging and pulling at his hair.


“Sorry about her, she’s just usually like this,” Nagisa apologized from where he was sitting and reading a textbook. 


Korekiyo examined the book cover, finding that it appeared to be of a much higher level of education than what Nagisa looked to be. He voiced this out loud to the boy, who merely shrugged.


“I’m able to, so I'll do it.” That didn’t quite answer Korekiyo’s question, but who was he to argue?


“Do you normally braid your siblings’ hair?” he instead chose to ask Kotoko.


Kotoko shook her head, her own hair flying in different directions at the movement. Some of it whacked Korekiyo’s face. Ow. “Nope! Maki-nee doesn’t really like me touching her hair and Kichi-nii’s hair is too short, so you’re the first!”


“Well, I’m sure Miu would let you braid her hair too,” he offered.


Kotoko’s face somehow brightened even more, now more closely resembling a sun than a human head. “I’ll have to ask her one day then!”


Hmm...Maybe having a family wasn’t so bad after all.

Chapter Text

[Chat: BEST CLASS!! ☆*:.。.o(≧▽≦)o.。.:*☆]


Ryoma: Well, I guess I’ve been adopted now


Kaede: You too? At this rate, Celeste-san is going to adopt the whole class!


Angie: Angie is confused. Celeste says that the people on Angie’s island were just brainwashing and manipulating Angie into believing that Atua is real


Angie: Angie...might have to take a moment


Kaede: Alright, I have to admit that’s really cool of her to try and break Angie’s cult mindset


Miu: hey keebs. never asked how ur date to the prom went


K1-B0: Well, in between trying not to get set on fire by the dance floor, Ouma-kun, Saihara-kun and Kaito-kun talked it over, and we decided that we probably wouldn’t work out. I didn’t want to put any tension on Ouma-kun and Saihara-kun’s relationship, so we agreed to just remain as friends.


Kaede: Thats nice of you, Keebo


Kaito: you forgot to mention that we’re dating now


K1-B0: Ah yes! Kaito-kun and I are going out together now :)


Kirumi: Congratulations.


Rantaro: thats cool


Rantaro: i also question y we havent found out about this earlier


Ryoma: You never figured out that Kirumi and I were dating either and it’s been a year


Kaede: WHAT?????


Kirumi: Oh, they didn’t know?


Ryoma: No, and I was getting tired of their attempts to set me up with different people


Rantaro: oh. sorry, we didnt know


Ryoma: It’s fine


Kaede: Why has all of the food in the kitchen been replaced with cotton candy


Shuichi: kokichi?


Kokichi: it wasnt me (╬ Ò﹏Ó)


Kokichi: blame makiroll!!!!


Maki: Yeah, it was me


Kaede: Why


Maki: Kotoko’s cat is sick so we’re doing things with her to cheer her up


Kokichi: i was playing my little pony w/ her earlier


Miu: i finished the mechanical carriage u asked me to make btw


Kokichi: yes, princess luna needs her carriage


Kaede: Again, another surprisingly wholesome moment


Kaede: But where did all our food go?


Maki: Oh, I’ll go get it


Kirumi: Yes please. I need to cook dinner.

The following is a short Halloween fic I wrote and was too lazy to make into another story. I also included the requests from @X_Lavender_Skies_X and @Kontuno because I have a ton of requests and thus had to combine several of them


Celestia - Vampire

Kyoko - Werewolf

Maki - Bloody Mary ghost

Kokichi - Changeling

Korekiyo - Kitsune

Miu - Succubus

Kotoko - Imp (young demon)

Nagisa - Werewolf

Angie - Faerie

Ryoma - Werecat

Kirumi - Spider hybrid

Mukuro - Demon


“Kotoko! Nagisa! We’re going!” Kyoko called out, listening to the thumps and various yells of the dorm’s residents. 


“Coming!” Kotoko yelled, scrambling down the stairs with her brother hot on her heels. 


“Koko! Slow down a bit, I’m not that fast!” Nagisa huffed, his wolf tail outstretched and waving in annoyance.


Kotoko sighed but stopped briefly to wait for Nagisa to catch up. “You know, I always thought werewolves were supposed to be faster.”


“And I thought that imps were supposed to be small and weak,” the werewolf pup shot back.


Kyoko glanced up at the window, before cutting into the siblings’ argument. “If you don’t hurry up, we’ll be late,” she warned, prompting the two to shut up and rush to her side.


“Alright, I want the two of you to behave at the festival later,” the older werewolf said sternly. “Don’t lose control of your urges, don’t stray away from the festival grounds, and don’t interact with any humans, got it?”


The two young monsters mumble words of agreement, already too excited to pay attention. Kyoko sighs but suppresses a smile. It’s been a while since she’s gotten that excited for the yearly Halloween festival, but watching them incites a new kind of eagerness in her, as well as a fierce desire to make sure nothing happens to them.


“Where are the others?” Nagisa asked coolly, though his rapidly wagging tail betrays his excitement.


“We’ll be meeting them there, don’t worry.”


Kotoko and Nagisa jabber away like little birds all the way to the festival, and Kyoko finds that she doesn’t mind as much as she would have a few months ago. She chuckles quietly. These kids really have changed me.

The first person they meet at the festival is Maki. The ghost is already in her true form, translucent and floating several inches off the ground. There’s blood streaming down her face to pool on the ground, but it doesn’t really exist, disappearing a few moments after it touches the ground. The two younger kids run up to greet her and she laughs, turning tangible again to hug Kotoko.


“The others?” Kyoko asks.


As if she had summoned him, Kokichi pops up beside her, a wide smile on his face. He looks almost the same, except for the eerie purple glow of his eyes.


“Missed me?” he cheers. Korekiyo, Celeste, Miu, Angie, and Ryoma also appear, with Miu and Angie flying around their heads in a bizarre game of tag.


Ryoma chuckles. “This festival...isn’t as bad as I expected.”


“Hell yeah! A whole bunch of horny teenagers all gathered together? I’ve never felt so energized!” Miu yells, momentarily pausing her game with Angie. The faerie eagerly bobs her head. “Angie’s been feeding off the happy energy people are feeling!”


“See? It was a good idea.” Celeste crosses the distance between her and Kyoko to stand by her side. 


Kyoko wraps her arm around the vampire’s waist, drawing her close. “It was. Are you planning to meet up with your siblings?”


“No, they wanted to explore the festival with their significant others instead,” Celeste explains.


“I see. Well, I’m glad you found them after all those years.”


“Indeed. An odd coincidence, was it not?”


Kyoko doesn’t respond to that, content to stand and watch as their kids - they really are their kids now - run about, laughing and smiling in a way they could never afford to be before. 


Even the more reserved ones join in, and Kotoko shrieks with laughter when Korekiyo’s tails accidentally knock Ryoma over. The werecat smirks as he gets back on his feet, before shifting into his true form (though he still isn’t much bigger than a normal housecat), springing to bite at Korekiyo’s tails. 


This ends up in an all-out fight, with Maki eventually ending up as the winner, quickly turning tangible and intangible again to attack her siblings. And sure, they may accidentally set some of the grass on fire, but they have fun, and so Kyoko and Celeste can’t be bothered to care.

“Do you like spiders because you are one, or is it just a coincidence?” Mukuro asks curiously.


“I suppose it is merely a coincidence, as I normally suppress my abilities on a day-to-day basis, rendering me unable to communicate with them normally,” Kirumi answers after a moment.


“Oh, I see.”


They sit in silence for a while before Kirumi suddenly asks, “Why are you here?”


Mukuro blinks at her. “What do you mean?”


“Usually you’re either with your sister or Maizono-san. So why are you sitting with me right now?”


“You seemed lonely,” Mukuro shrugs. “Sayaka wanted to go hang out with the other sirens without the risk of me being entranced. Junko...who knows what she’s up to.”


Just at that moment, Junko ran past, in her full demonic form, chasing a bunch of faeries while cackling loudly. They disappeared around the corner.


“I suppose that’s your answer,” Kirumi said wryly. Mukuro laughed quietly. “Yeah.”


“Thanks for sitting with me.”


“It’s no problem. You’re quite interesting.”


“...Thank you?”

Chapter Text

Hey hey!!! Hanabi-chan back again, less sleep-deprived than before! So it has come to my attention that this fic has over 8k hits!!!!! That's amazing!!!!!! Thank you guys so much!!!!!!!!

As a thank you for everything, I'll be opening up a Q&A for this fic. You can ask questions for me or the Danganronpa characters, and I'll write the answers in about...a week, maybe? Plenty of time to submit your questions I hope.

This has been asked about quite a few times so I'm going to let you guess now: What are the identities of Celeste's siblings? I have dropped quite a few hints to their identities, so you can re-read the chapters to try and figure it out! I'll release their names at the same time as the second part to this Q&A, so submit your guesses before then!!!!! People who correctly guess all of them will get a shoutout when I drop their names :)

Good luck, and thank you once again!!!!!!!!

Chapter Text

Hihi! Thank you for all your submissions, I’ll try to answer them to the best of my abilities!!!!

Question from the Ultimate Anon

Q: Tsumugi and Saihara do you think you both look alike with Sayaka?


Tsumugi: Sayaka-chan and I are actually cousins! Second-generation cousins, to be precise. We don’t talk much though


Shuichi: huh? oh, i suppose we do. but we’re not related in any way 

Questions from the anon ImSoSad…!

Q: Why Celeste don’t show her real name for everyone?


Celestia: Well you see, darling, I worked hard to establish my reputation as Celestia Ludenberg. It would be a shame to discard this image that I have crafted, no?


Q: Is Celeste a childhood when she abandoned by her parents?


Celestia: I believe that you are asking if I was a child when I was kicked out of my house? Yes, I was about 14 at the time


Q: How Kyoko meet Celeste and then they’re dating?


Kyoko: Well, we are classmates. It was inevitable that we would meet, after all. We both had a really bad sleep schedule and would often meet in the kitchen when we went to get coffee and tea respectively


Celestia: Coffee is disgusting


Kyoko: We started dating after Celeste wouldn’t stop flirting with me and made me realise that I didn’t actually mind as much as I should have


Celeste: :)


Kyoko: She is incredibly persistent 


Celeste: You love it


Kyoko: I do


Q: In chapter 25 why you like write Celeste has a "dream" not "nightmare" ?


Hanabi (me): Well, there are a few reasons. The first is that not all of the dream was terrible, it just gradually progressed into a nightmare. The earlier scene with Celeste and both her parents was actually a happy memory. The second is that Celeste is trying to downplay the severity of the dream, and calling it a dream sounds more lighthearted than a nightmare. She’s beating herself up for feeling so strongly about ‘just a dream’, so that’s the reasoning.

Questions from the anon mushroom

Q: Question for Celestia, if you could change something about the way you lived your life, what would it be?


Celestia: I regret not trying to reach out to my siblings earlier. But I suppose we can make up lost time now


Q: Question for Kyoko, do you sometimes think you’re being lied to by Celeste?


Kyoko: Yes, unfortunately. I have become rather adept at detecting when Celeste is lying; so I can confirm that she does lie to me sometimes. It is not something I think she is able to stop doing immediately, but we’re working on it


Q: Question for Maki, what is your most painful memory?




Maki: Can I choose not to answer?


Kokichi: fuck u, if im doing it, u r too


Maki: I most painful memory would be the moment I was taken from the orphanage. The kids all thought that I was being transferred to a foster home and I couldn’t tell them otherwise. So although they were upset that I was leaving, they were also really happy for me since they thought that I was going somewhere better. That hurt a lot


Q: Question for Kokichi, what’s the best thing about your family?


Kokichi: thats easy! more ppl to help w/ my pranks!!!! ヽ(*・ω・)ノ


Maki: Kichi. Answer honestly


Kokichi: ugh


Kokichi: the knowledge that there r ppl who care about me 


Kokichi: happy?


Q: Question for Miu, what’s your biggest insecurity?


Miu: hah? i dont have any fucking insecurities, unlike your lame ass!


Miu: but hypothetically speaking...ppl finding out that im useless (which im not!!!!) and leaving me because of it

Questions from the anon Lemon Scented Cardboard

Q: Gonta, you love all bugs, but are there any bugs you favor?


Gonta: All bugs are Gonta’s friends!


Hanabi: ...Gonta, they’re asking about your favorite bug


Gonta: But Gonta loves all bugs!!!!


Hanabi: Nvm


Q: Korekiyo, how do you maintain that hair? Looks fabulous.


Korekiyo: Kekekeke~ 


Korekiyo: Why, thank you. I make sure to thoroughly wash it every day


Kotoko: and i help to brush it!!!!!!!!


Q: Angie, does the religion you follow have any gods other than Atua?

Angie: Nope!~ Atua is our one true god!


Celestia: We’re working on it


Q: Kokichi, best prank you’ve concocted?


Kokichi: hmm, its got to be the time i released everyones animals in the dorms 。゚( ゚^∀^゚)゚。


Q: Kotoko, we know you hate salty, but savory?


Kotoko: huh? arent they the same?


Q: Byakuya, how gucci?




Byakuya: Is this some sort of joke?...


Q: Himiko, favorite Warriors/Warrior cats villain?


Himiko: nyeh,,,does hollyleaf count?


Maki: I don’t think so


Himiko: what a pain. breezepelt, then


Rantaro: so u like the black cats?


Himiko: yes

Question from @CN_Vagabond

Q: I have a question for every member of the family. What are your biggest fears? And NO, you are NOT allowed to say that you have no fear, because I already know that’s bullshit.








Korekiyo: Waking up one day and nobody knows who you are


Celestia: People finding out that I’m a fraud


Miu: The people I care about leaving me


Kokichi: my family being taken away from me again


Angie: The fact that my entire life is a lie


Maki: My organization hunting me down and killing all those I care about so they can drag me back into working for them


Kotoko: creepy old men


Ryoma: Messing up and other people suffering because of me


Nagisa: People seeing me as ‘just an experiment’


Kyoko: Disappointing people


Hanabi: They all have T R A U M A


Hanabi: Mine is people finding out everything about me

Question from @Shukuchi_Shikeishuu

Q: Question for Ryoma, what are your thoughts on being adopted by Celeste?Are you being treated well?


Ryoma: Yeah, I am. Celeste and Maki both have cats, so we’ve had a cat playdate a few times. Chi-chi didn’t seem to get along with Hayami, though


Ryoma: My thoughts? Eh, I don’t really have any, I just go with the flow. It has been quite enjoyable

Questions from @The_Blue_Bunny

Q: For Hajime, how many sides does an octagon have? (lol)


Hajime: stop making fun of me for that one time! i know its 7!






Q: For Kyoko, how is your relationship with your father?


Kyoko: Not great. But we’re working on it


Q: For Celeste, what do you like about your children?


Celestia: I admire their resilience to keep going, even though the world has dealt them bad hands


Celestia: Of course, there are many other things I like about them. But that trait is one they all share


Q: Still for Celeste, why do you like Kyoko?


Celeste: Have you seen her????


Celeste: Literal goddess


Kyoko: Celeste, please


Celeste: It’s true. I also like her level-headedness and her ability to remain calm under pressure


Celeste: And she also makes great tea


Q: For Kokichi, why the fuck did you stole my goat?


Kokichi: goat?...


Q: For Shuichi, why do you like Kokichi?


Shuichi: kokichi can be very sweet at times, and he’s much more complex than he seems


Q: For Tsumugi, did you just broke the fourth wall?


Tsumugi: Did I?


Tsumugi: I suppose I’ll leave that up to your imagination, dear readers

Questions from @Kontuno

Q: Who’s chiakis favorite person in her class


Chiaki: probably hajime and nagito


Chiaki: yes, ik im biased, but do i really look like i give a fuck?


Q: Between Mukuro and Sayaka, who confessed first?


Mukuro: Sayaka


Sayaka: Me


Q: Kyoko, since celeste is legit adopting a new kid every week or so, Is it hard having to get used to having more than 2 kids?


Kyoko: Yes. This happened just last week when I came back to our dorm and found Ryoma sitting in the common room with no prior warning. It’s a normal occurrence by now


Q: for like all the kids of the dysfunctional (kinda functional now?) family , how did you feel when you found out that celeste and Kyoko were adopting you?


Maki: Suspicious


Kotoko: excited!!!!!


Ryoma: Neutral


Korekiyo: Confused


Kokichi: a bit worried, but mostly excited


Angie: Angie was slightly nervous, but it turns out she had nothing to be worried about!


Miu: happy that someone finally recognised my genius brain


Nagisa: Apprehensive


Kokichi: wow, big word

Questions from @TemaTomo

Q: Question for everyone, who do you think has the worst luck, excluding Makoto and Nagito?


Maki: Probably Ishimaru-senpai. He always loses when he plays games


Kokichi: or junko-chan. her plans to cause chaos always fail, but she kinda likes it??? (・・;)ゞ


Kokichi: she says it causes her to feel despair and thats why she likes it


Maki: Enoshima-senpai is just weird as fuck


Q: Also, to Angie, do you know of any type of art that you haven’t done, or maybe don’t want to do?


Angie: Angie hasn’t tried pottery! The island that Angie lived on did not have a proper kiln, so Angie was unable to make pottery


Angie: But Hope’s Peak has a kiln!!! Angie is very excited to try it!!

Questions from the anon TheOddGuava

Q: What was Kyoko’s first reaction to Celeste wanting to adopt kids at first?


Kyoko: I was very confused since we’re both underage. Completely forgetting that my girlfriend is a professional gambler and ‘has her ways’


Q: What convinced Kyoko to adopt Maki/Kokichi along with the others alongside Celeste?


Kyoko: Well, I knew she would adopt them anyways, whether I agreed or not


Celestia: Kyoko also has a soft spot for heavily traumatised children

Question from my friend Chai

Q: They’re literally already raising kids together. How are they not married yet?????




Celestia: I could change that?


Kyoko: Celeste, we’re still in high school


Celestia: And?


Kyoko: Celestia


Celestia: Very well. I shall refrain from proposing until we graduate


Kyoko: You’re going to propose on the day of our graduation with a dramatic, over-the-top proposal in front of the whole school, aren’t you?


Celestia: You certainly are very smart, my dear Kyoko :)

Now, the moment everyone’s been waiting for!!!! Celeste’s sibling reveal :D


Congratulations to the Ultimate Anon and @Kontuno for guessing correctly!!!!!


Peko: Hello


Kiyotaka: Good morning! What is this?


Gundham: Greetings, Sister of Swords, Rule Follower!


Gundham: Greetings, Tanaka-kun!


Celeste: Yes, they are my siblings. An odd coincidence, is it not?


Peko: For those who are curious, the Kuzuryus changed my name after they took me in. Anzu is my previous name



And this concludes our Q&A!!!! Thank you everyone for your submissions, and I hope my answers are satisfactory XD

Chapter Text

[Chat: Weebs, unite!]


-Tsumugi created the chat ‘Weebs, unite!’-


-Tsumugi added Sayaka and 3 others-


Sayaka: Hey. Mugi! Whats this?


Tsumugi: Anime chat! :D


-Tsumugi enabled nicknames-


Sayaka: Ofc it is


Sayaka: Ive literally only watched two animes in my entire life, and that  was because you wanted me to watch them with you


Maki: She’s pretty desperate at this point, she doesn’t care


Tsumugi: Damn right


-Tsumugi changed Sayaka to Jirou but blue-


Jirou but blue: Creative


Tsumugi: Thanks, I try


Celestia: Oh? What is this?


Maki: Backread


Celestia: I see. Who is the other person?


Tsumugi: Mitarai-senpai from the 77th class (though I don’t think he attends class). He’s the Ultimate Animator


Tsumugi: Back to nicknames


-Tsumugi changed Celestia to LET’S GET OUR GAMBLING FREAK ON-


-Tsumugi changed Ryota to our lord and savior-


Jirou but blue: Whats that about?


Tsumugi: He makes anime. I am literally the biggest weeb ever. Connect the dots, Saya-chan


Jirou but blue: Understandable, have a great day


-Tsumugi changed Maki to Korosensei’s true killer-


Korosensei’s true killer:


-Tsumugi changed Tsumugi to Ultimate Weeb-


Ultimate Weeb: There!


LET’S GET OUR GAMBLING FREAK ON: Am I to understand that our nicknames are all anime references?


Ultimate Weeb: Except for Mitarai-senpai, yes


Korosensei’s true killer: So what do we do in this chat?


Ultimate Weeb: Discuss A N I M E


Korosensei’s true killer: Idk why I even asked

[Chat: H O P E]


Akane: whys nagito crying?


Hajime: i got him a golden retriever


Akane: so...whys he crying?


Chiaki: hes happy


Chiaki: he says it looks like his old dog


Mahiru: That looks like great photograph material!


Nagito: The hope is strong today


Hajime: pls stop talking about hope and feed ur new puppy

[Chat: Dysfunctional family]


Kokichi: hey guys


Kokichi: wanna help me prank ppl (^▽^)


Kotoko: yes!!!!!!!! (☆▽☆)


Angie: Angie will help!~


Ryoma: I’m not against it


Korekiyo: Alright


Miu: k


Maki: Sure, if everyone else is joining in


Nagisa: I don’t think I have anything right now so ok


Celestia: Kyoko and I are willing to help if it’s not dangerous


Kokichi: easier than i expected


Kokichi: and no, its not dangerous


Kokichi: u guys know that teruteru guy?


Maki: Oh, that creep. Yes, unfortunately


Ryoma: He keeps making suggestive comments about how ‘the quiet ones are always the kinkiest’


Miu: its true


Miu: but he is pretty annoying, yeah


Kokichi: k so my idea is that we go into his room while hes gone and flip it upside down


Korekiyo: Do you mean mess it up?...


Kokichi: no. literally flip it upside down. glue all his shit to the ceiling 


Angie: Angie has some extra strong glue we can use!!


Maki: That’s not a bad idea, I suppose


Kotoko: yay! pranks!!


Kyoko: Don’t hurt yourselves


Kokichi: yes mom


Kokichi: and other mom


Celestia: Good :)

[Chat: H O P E]




Teruteru: How do i get all my stuff down??????


Hajime: sucks to be u ig

[Chat: Welcome to hell]


Makoto: celeste


Makoto: ur kids committed murder


Celestia: Oh? That was not planned


Leon: tf??


Kyoko: Who did they kill?


Makoto: haiji towa


Kyoko: Makoto, it’s not a murder if they kill a rat




Celestia: I asked them about it and they said it was a family bonding experience


Mukuro: Sounds legit


Celestia: Absolutely


Celestia: They even picked a location where there were no security cameras


Chihiro: oh cool


Komaru: wait they killed haiji?


Sayaka: Apparently


Komaru: oh my gosh tell them great job!!!!!!


Makoto: komaru!


Celestia: I must admit that I am surprised. I have attempted to kill that cockroach multiple times before but never succeeded


Leon: well one of ur kids is the ultimate assassin, rite?


Celestia: I suppose that is true


Celestia: I will relay your message, Naegi-san


Komaru: just call me komaru! its a lot less confusing w/ my big bro around and all


Makoto: komaru, u barely know them


Komaru: nii-san, i am literally dating one of them


Makoto: touche


Celestia: *touché


Makoto: literally no 1 cares about the little thing on the e


Celestia: I do


Kyoko: Don’t bother arguing with her


Aoi: i want to type out the laughing face but my caps lock physically doesnt work


Sakura: I can help you type it, Hina


Sakura: XD


Aoi: thanks, sakura-chan!!!!


Sayaka: Lesbian supremacy :D

Chapter Text

Hello, flowers!!! So my good friend, Chai, suggested that I do a fun little challenge for anyone who wants to participate!! Ofc, this is optional, and purely for shits and giggles, so don't feel obligated to participate!! I haven't decided on a prize for the winner yet, so you can just comment what you think would be a good prize :)

The challenge is...*cue drumroll noises* which out of context sentence, from this fic, did you guys find the funniest? Note that I haven't re-read any of the chapters I wrote in the past, so I don't really remember everything I've written. That means I'll be approaching this from a newer point of view, and all the answers will be judged fairly. I also have Chai as my other judge, so it's more equal as Chai has only read the first six chapters.

So good luck to anyone who feels like participating, and don't forget to comment prize ideas alongside your entries!!!

Chapter Text

Basically the title. Sorry, I can't summon up the energy to write a new chapter at the moment, so this is what you get.

You can join the server if you just want to hang out or feel like chatting with me and some other people. I could even share some of my unpublished story ideas there too if you want, I guess. Whatever


Chapter Text

[Chat: Weebs, unite!]


Ultimate Weeb: Hey quick question


Ultimate Weeb: Have y’all seen or played DDLC before?


Korosensei’s true killer: Yep


Jirou but blue: I think I watched you play a little bit of it a few years back


LET’S GET OUR GAMBLING FREAK ON: I’ve seen some clips of it


our lord and savior: uh


our lord and savior: yeah, i played it once


our lord and savior: but i skipped through a lot of the starting dialogue


Ultimate Weeb: :000000






our lord and savior: uhhhhh thanks?


Ultimate Weeb: ANYWAYS


Ultimate Weeb: Which character y’all like?


Jirou but blue: Cant say for sure, since I havent seen that much of it, but Sayori appeals to me a lot. Shes just so cheerful and upbeat, yknow?


Ultimate Weeb: uHHHHH


Korosensei’s true killer: Nobody tell her


Jirou but blue: Tell me what?


LET’S GET OUR GAMBLING FREAK ON: From what I’ve seen, I rather like Monika. The ending was quite the spectacle 


Jirou but blue: Guys???? Tell me what????


our lord and savior: i can relate to yuri a lot, so i suppose she would be my favorite


Jirou but blue: Ig Im just going to be ignored now huh


Korosensei’s true killer: Natsuki


Ultimate Weeb: Of course you do 


Jirou but blue: Ugh, nvm


Korosensei’s true killer: What’s that supposed to mean?


Ultimate Weeb: You’re both tsunderes


Korosensei’s true killer: I am not a tsundere


Jirou but blue: Guys, don’t start arguing over this


JIrou but blue: So, Mugi-chan, whos your favorite character?


Ultimate Weeb: Well, I don’t really have a favorite. They’re all amazing and have certain characteristics that I can appreciate. But, if I really had to choose, I’d say Monika


LET’S GET OUR GAMBLING FREAK ON: Monika wins then, I suppose


Jirou but blue: Idk, Monika seemed a, to me


Jirou but blue: Like, she seemed nice on the outside, but I couldnt help but feel that she wasnt entirely genuine??? Ig???


Korosensei’s true killer: No one tell her


Jirou but blue: Tell me what????????


Jirou but blue: Guys???????

[Chat: Dysfunctional family]


Maki: Hey so I need someone to bring me food


Kokichi: huh? just get ur own fucking food???? ( ̄~ ̄;)


Maki: I’m in detention


Maki: And Kirumi-san is busy


Kyoko: Why are you in detention?


Maki: Well some guys were being really creepy to Miu


Maki: Told her that her tits were the only thing she was good for so she might as well make herself useful and let them touch her


Maki: So I punched them


Maki: But a teacher happened to walk by and now I’m in detention for aggravated assault


Celestia: Oh my


Celestia: Miu, are you alright?


Miu: yeah, im kinda used to it


Maki: I’ll punch you if you think you can just sit there and take it


Miu: the teachers generally dont care tho


Kokichi: they all suck


Kokichi: except for yukizome-sensei


Korekiyo: Indeed. She is the only good teacher in this school


Kyoko: Hm


Kyoko: I’ll talk to my father


Maki: Istg, Miu, if you say something like ‘you don’t need to bother about it’, I will actually punch you


Celestia: Need I remind you that I have gone through similar experiences? I know how it feels and we can actually put a stop to it now




Miu: ok


Miu: thx


Maki: Now can someone please bring me some food? I’m hungry

[Chat: sibling chat that taka made and no one bothered to delete]


Celestia: I require some assistance


Gundham: Oh? I sense that your mind is troubled with thoughts of outrage. Speak, and share with us what is plaguing you!


Peko: Translation: You seem angry. What’s wrong?


Celestia: My daughter Miu is getting harassed by these sick perverts, who the teachers cannot expel without proof. Additionally, Maki fought back against them when they tried to molest Miu, and she was the one who got in trouble for it!


Celestia: Kyoko has already spoken with Kirigiri-sensei about it, and he says that while it is true they cannot be expelled without proof, he also hinted that it would be far easier if they simply chose to drop out


Peko: I see. And I suppose you are sharing this so that we can do things to make them want to drop out, correct?


Celestia: Yes


Kiyotaka: Celeste! While usually I do not condone this behavior, I can make an exception this one time! These bullies certainly do not follow the school rules!


Gundham: Indeed, we shall make their already pathetic lives into a living hell!


Celestia: Great, I am very happy that we can agree on this. I have had quite a few people inform me that we look rather intimidating because of our appearances, so perhaps we could put that to good use

 [Chat: BEST CLASS!! ☆*:.。.o(≧▽≦)o.。.:*☆]


Maki: Listen up bitches


Maki: There are these four boys that we need to make sure drop out


Maki: I don’t care how you do it, just make it happen


Kaede: Do I want to know?


Kokichi: not rlly


Kaede: Alright then


Angie: Angie thinks these fuckers deserve divine retribution!~


Rantaro: Did Atua tell you that?


Angie: Angie has been working on getting rid of the cultist mindset that was created as a result of her upbringing. She did not want to believe it at first, but she has come to realize that Celeste is right. So now, Angie is working on it!


Kaede: Thats great, Angie-san!


Tenko: well, tenko’s never going to miss the opportunity to beat up a male! or five!


Maki: I can help as soon as I get out of detention


Maki: Just make sure there aren’t any teachers around


Maki: After all, they can’t do anything WiThOuT pRoOf, can they?


Kokichi: makirolls being incredibly salty today, isnt she? ( ̄ω ̄;)


Maki: Wouldn’t you be?


Kokichi: tru dat


Tenko: uhhh, tenko was going to beat up the males harukawa-san told her to, but she doesn’t know what they look like


Maki: I get out of detention in about an hour, so we can go together


Tenko: that sounds good! 


Himiko: hey tenko


Himiko: if ur out, can u get me some juice pouches?


Tenko: of course, himiko!


Maki: Could you get me some snacks too? 


Ryoma: Didn’t I just get you lunch


Maki: Yes but three small boxes of sushi isn’t very filling


Tenko: tenko will get harukawa-san snacks!


Rantaro: i find it hilarious how this chat can go from planning a murder(?) to cute wholesome stuff like fetching their friends some snacks. who are in detention from almost causing a murder


Kokichi: nishishishi~


Kokichi: its just a special talent of ours (* ^ ω ^)


Tsumugi: Also because the author has no clue what the fuck she’s writing


Kaede: Huh?


Tsumugi: Don’t worry about it

Bonus! Questions from @Toko_Toki_Fukawa! The Q&A portion of this fic is technically closed, but I’ll make an exception this one time! If you really want to ask me stuff, join my Discord (link is in the previous chapter and my profile). People in my Discord server automatically get priority for chapter requests and can also talk to me personally :D


Q: Question for Celeste, Have you considered adopting Toko? She’s also a very traumatized child(what with neither of her 3 parents wanting her and being bullied all her life)


Celestia: Hmm, not really. She is technically my senior, being one year above me, so I figured it would be a little strange to adopt someone older than you


Q: Question for Celeste, how did you start gambling?


Celestia: When I first started, it was more out of necessity than anything else. I needed the money, so I entered a gambling ring to try my luck. A lot of the people there laughed at me at first, but it turned out that I was really good at gambling, and happened to win a large sum of money. So I just kept doing it after that


Q: Question for Toko, what’s it like waking up and realizing Syo just killed somebody?


Toko: I usually faint again from the sight of blood if I’m still near the body. But...I suppose I feel somewhat guilty for causing the deaths. Not often, though, since the guys I kill are mostly assholes anyways.


Q: Question for Chihiro, who has the worst search history?


Chihiro: um


Chihiro: saihara-kun and kirigiri-sans r pretty bad, since theyre both ultimate detectives and have to search up some frankly disturbing things


Chihiro: and celeste-sans kids have all searched up different ways to kill a man at least once


Chihiro: but in general, its yamada-kun and hanamura-kun. the sheer amount of porn-


Q: Question for Makoto, how does it feel knowing that Toko is fucking your sister?


Makoto: can we pls not talk abt that…


Q: Question for Kyoko, what’s it like having a new child every week?


Kyoko: Pretty normal, now


Kyoko: But it is incredibly tiring, with all the issues they have and that Celeste and I have to try and help them with. Plus all the paperwork


Q: Question for Mukuro, do you vape? If so, can you do tricks?


Mukuro: I don’t vape. Don’t see the point

Chapter Text

[Chat: BEST CLASS!! ☆*:.。.o(≧▽≦)o.。.:*☆]


Ryoma: Stage one of operation complete


Angie: Nyahaha! It was very fun~


Kokichi: gr8. kiyo-chan, initiate stage 2 ( ` ω ´ )


Korekiyo: Stage two is ongoing


Kaede: What’s going on now????


Kokichi: shhhhh


Rantaro: what stages?


Maki: I’ll explain once we get to stage four, at the least


Rantaro: aight. gl for whatever it is


Miu: ive got the gadgets. blue twink says stage three is complete too, btw


Kokichi: is stage four taking place rn?


Ryoma: Yup


Maki: Chabashira. You good?


Tenko: tenko is almost done!!!!


Kokichi: hurry. theyre abt ten seconds away ..・ヾ(。><)シ


Tenko: its finished!


Rantaro: can i ask now?


Maki: Stage one is for Ryoma and Angie. They approach the targets and inform them, in great detail, of what exactly they want to do to freaks like them. They then depart, leaving the four of them paranoid for the rest of the week, at the very least


Kokichi: stage 2 is for kiyo-chan. he watches them, wherever they go. the victims will feel his gaze on them, but never see him becos kiyo-chan is v sneaky, thus making them even more paranoid. at the end of the day, he will appear when they least expect it and deliver a scary speech


Maki: Stage three is for Nagisa and Fujisaki-san. The two of them worked together to hack into their phones and delete all the data on it, making them effectively useless


Kokichi: and stage four is for all of us (plus the green lesbian). basically, we just set up some stuff to make their day that much more inconvenient


Tenko: tenko glued their locker doors shut!!


Kokichi: good job guys. we can take a break for today o(≧▽≦)o


Kaede: I thought I could have a relaxing day learning how to do different hairstyles but I guess not


Kaede: Remind me never to piss you guys off


Rantaro: ur learning how to style hair?


Kaede: Yeah! 


Rantaro: thats pretty cool


Kaede: Speaking of that


Kaede: Maki, can I practice on you? Your hair would be perfect to style!


Maki: No


Kokichi: ha. gl convincing her to let u touch her hair (*≧ω≦*)


Kokichi: even when we were young she wouldnt let me


Maki: No one touches my hair


Tenko: kaede-san can practice on tenko! tenko doesn’t mind :)


Kaede: Alright! Thanks, Tenko!


Rantaro: once again, i never fail to be surprised by how we can go from planning how to get people to drop out to discussing hairstyling

[Chat: Dysfunctional family]


Kokichi: kiyo-chan! where r u??? ヽ(*・ω・)ノ


Korekiyo: In the bedroom. Kotoko convinced me to play My Little Pony with her


Kokichi: oh? (✧ω✧)


Kotoko: yep yep!! wanna join us, kichi-nii?


Kokichi: nope. mlp is for babies 


Kokichi: buuuuuut thats a lie! id love to play w/ u guys ヽ(o^ ^o)ノ


Kotoko: yayyyyyyy!!!!!! 。゚( ゚^∀^゚)゚。


Angie: Angie has created some better ponies for you!~


Kotoko: theyre so pretty!


Kyoko: Are you all playing my little pony?


Maki: It seems that way


Kotoko: i got kiyo-nii to wear a dress!!!


Kotoko: he looks v pretty o(>ω<)o


Kotoko: kiyoinadress.png


Celestia: Oh my. If I knew that he would look so good in a dress, I would have asked to choose some dresses for him a long time ago


Kyoko: You just like dressing people up


Celestia: That is true


Kotoko: hes playing the magical princess who rules over the entire pony kingdom!!!


Angie: And Angie made some custom ponies for everyone!!~


Kokichi: yeah becos makiroll was too edgy for a normal pony and got a batpony instead 

( ̄▽ ̄)


Maki: Shut up, gremlin

[Private message: Kyoko > Celestia]


Kyoko: Celes


Kyoko: I just received a letter from my grandfather


Kyoko: He’s coming to visit


Kyoko: What do I do


Celestia: Calm down, ma chérie


Kyoko: If he hears that I’m dating you and adopted 8 children he’s going to flip


Celestia: Fuck him


Celestia: He doesn’t deserve a granddaughter like you


Kyoko: But what do I do?????


Kyoko: Do I try to hide our relationship + the kids?


Kyoko: Do I tell him about it and risk being disowned like my father?


Kyoko: Do I run away to another country and never look back?


Celestia: No to the last option. I quite like Japan


Kyoko: Celes what the fuck do I do


Celestia: I think you should just be upfront with him. If he disowns you, that’s his loss


Celestia: Do not respond with a ‘but what if’


Celestia: Literally nothing that comes out of his mouth is worth a single fuck


Kyoko: You’re right


Kyoko: Thanks


Celestia: It is no problem, darling

[Chat: Welcome to hell]


Makoto: hey kyoko, theres an old guy standing outside asking 4 u


Kyoko: Tell him that I will be over shortly


Makoto: k


Makoto: if u dont mind me asking, who is he? ur relative?


Kyoko: My grandfather. Head of the Kirigiri detective agency


Leon: woah thats so cool


Aoi: yeah! he must be so proud of you!


Kyoko: Not really


Kyoko: Anyways, I’ll be gone for a moment while I talk to him


Mukuro: Hey, why do I hear shouting?


Makoto: it sounds like its coming from outside the dorm


Aoi: wait i just looked and kyoko’s grandfather is yelling at her


Aoi: oh shit she looks upset


Celestia: Not today, bitch


Leon: whats going on????


Aoi: uhhh kyoko and her grandfather seem to be arguing


Mukuro: Celeste just showed up 


Makoto: this will not end well


Aoi: security are taking him away!


Sayaka: Just woke up from my nap. What the fuck happened?


Celestia: Kyoko does not wish to share. Please do not enquire any further


Aoi: if she feels that way, i’ll respect her decisions!


Leon: yeah, same


Makoto: i hope the issue gets resolved soon

[Chat: BEST CLASS!! ☆*:.。.o(≧▽≦)o.。.:*☆]


Maki: Chabashira. Ready to initiate stage five?


Tenko: tenko is very ready!!!!! :D


Kaede: I fear for those boys

Chapter Text

Hihi! It's me, Hanabi-chan!!!

I know I'm going to sound like an annoying salesperson right now, sorry. I made a Patreon!! (Wow, the inner salesperson already taking over, huh) Members of my Patreon get sneak peaks at my works-in-progress, including the ones that I will never publish here. 

*distant yelling in the background* ...Yes, fine, I do kinda need the money. Mizi has been exhibiting some signs of boredom recently and I want to get her a bigger enclosure. Unfortunately, the cages are all pretty expensive, with the cheapest one being 110 USD (not that I don't have that amount, but I do need money for Mizi's monthly necessities). So all profits will go towards saving for Mizi's new cage

Yes, I know that I'm not super likely to get any patreons, but I can still try. And of course, I don't want to pressure any of you to join, it's purely optional. Please don't steal your parents' credit card just so you can pay for it

Chapter Text

[Chat: H O P E]


Chiaki: peko, can u pls get ur gf and ur sisters kid to quiet down a little


Chiaki: im trying to take a nap


Peko: Apologies, Chiaki-san. I will go speak to them






Chiaki: i can see that


Hajime: wait, one of the lowerclassmen is in the dorm?






Chiaki: i dont care. just keep it down pls



[Chat: BEST CLASS!! ☆*:.。.o(≧▽≦)o.。.:*☆]


Kokichi: guys have u seen makiroll 


Kaede: No, why?


Kokichi: i havent seen her all day and im worried


Rantaro: maybe she just took some time for herself?


Rantaro: that sounds like the kind of thing shed do


Kokichi: u dont get it


Kokichi: she didnt even feed her stupid cat


Kokichi: or make her bed


Kaede: Well, Ill keep an eye out for her


Rantaro: yeah same


Kirumi: I will too.


Shuichi: do you want me to come over? i could help you search


Kokichi: yes pls

[Chat: Welcome to hell]


Celestia: Alright bitches, where’s my daughter??


Sayaka: Huh?


Celestia: Maki has been missing for nearly five hours and hasn’t returned


Kyoko: Fujisaki-san, would you mind checking the security cameras? We are both very worried about her


Chihiro: sure thing!


Celestia: Well?


Chihiro: uhhhhhhhhh


Chihiro: ull wanna see 4 urself


-Chihiro sent one file-


Aoi: who are those men in black?


Aoi: why do they look like they’re carrying a body bag?!?


Celestia: Kyoko, fetch the kids. We have an organisation to wipe out


Sayaka: Omg


Makoto: what??????

[Chat: Welcome to hell]


Kyoko: We’re back


Sayaka: What happened?!?!?!?!!


Sayaka: Kyoko???


Mukuro: It looks like she’s typing


Kyoko: The assassin organisation showed up and tried to take Maki, even though Celeste previously made them sign a contract to never approach her again. So we went down to their headquarters, destroyed the entire organisation and all the people in charge of it, before rescuing Maki and coming back


Leon: and u did this all in 2hrs????


Sayaka: Thats fucking crazy


Mukuro: Is Harukawa-san okay?


Kyoko: She’s still unconscious, but Tsumiki-senpai said she should be fine in a few hours. Luckily, all the other kids suffered minor to no injuries and have already been cleared by Tsumiki


Makoto: just backread and wtf


Makoto: ur saying that u took down an entire organisation under 2hs


Makoto: how is this not on the news


Kyoko: I suppose the government didn’t want to release the news of there being an assassin organisation in Japan


Sayaka: Wheres Celeste?


Kyoko: With Maki in the medical wing. She wanted to make sure Maki was alright before coming back to the dorms


Mukuro: I’m glad that you are all okay


Aoi: yeah same. though sakura-chan and i would have helped out if you asked!!!!


Kyoko: I appreciate your kindness, but we were in a rush and didn’t have time to contact any of you 


Aoi: next time we’re definitely going with you, though!


Mukuro: Similarly, you would be foolish to pass up on my expertise


Kyoko: Indeed I would. Thank you for your offers

Chapter Text

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[Chat: Welcome to hell]


Sayaka: @Kyoko @Celestia where are you two?


Kyoko: Skipping. Maki has recovered, but she’s still rather out of it. Thus, we will be taking a day off


Celestia: dysfunctionalfamilyselfie.png


Celestia: The kids wanted to dye their hair


Leon: is that jataro there too???


Celestia: Indeed. We had forgotten that Angie had previously adopted him, so he’s part of the family too 


Kyoko: Also Toko is my sister now


Komaru: does this make u my future sister in law? :D


Kyoko: Sure


Sayaka: Wow, you guys look so cool!!!!


(A/N: The kids either dyed their hair purple or black. In Korekiyo’s case, both purple and black, since his hair is kind of greenish and purple doesn’t mix well with green. So the top half of his hair is black and the rest of it is a dark purple, similar to Kokichi. Ryoma dyed his whole head black, and was the only one who did one solid colour. Miu and Kotoko both chose to do streaks, with Miu having light purple highlights and Kotoko having black ones. Angie coloured the tips of her hair purple and helped Nagisa and Maki do the same, though their shades of purple are all different. Jataro just did some black tips. Kokichi didn’t need to change his hair at all lol)


Kyoko: We’re attending a concert at the park together right now. It’s pretty loud but the kids seem to like it


Makoto: ill tell the teacher that u guys wont be coming then


Celestia: Oh, it’s not just us. Kiyotaka is here with Oowada-kun. Toko, Peko and Gundham also came


Junko: LMAOOOOO at this point ur fam makes up like half the school

[Chat: H O P E]


Hajime: whats that noise?




Gundham: Such noises are fit for the Seventh Circle of Hell!




Hajime: i dont think that was a compliment...