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Chapter 2: Plain Formatting
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/u/tiredofficedoe
Hi Reddit. Long time lurker, first time poster--this is a throwaway account.
So I (4 y/o F rabbit) work a pretty standard 9-5 in a pretty standard office building. One of my coworkers (5 y/o M) is a stag with wider-than-average antlers, and he’s constantly knocking into doorways (yes, they were designed from the beginning to accommodate everyone, his antlers are just THAT big). It wouldn’t be too much of a problem if he weren’t a really enthusiastic guy who’s always running around. He knocks into the doorway, making a HUGE thunk, and if that isn’t enough, he always bellows in pain. He’s often moving at speed and drops whatever he has in his mouth, sending it flying. He breaks, like, eight company coffee mugs a week. We’ve tried telling him to walk instead of trot, but he never listens. Last week we made him tie a pillow to his antlers, but he complained about it so much we gave up.
So yesterday I suggested that maybe he could look into an antler reduction procedure. They’re clearly getting into the way, I imagine in his personal life as well as his work life. It didn’t seem that bad to me, but he’s really upset and won’t talk to me, and most of the deer in the office are taking his side.
AITA?
ETA: Okay, so technically the building doesn’t accommodate EVERYONE, but we’ve never had an elephant apply to work here, so...
/u/aslanforever1000
YTA. How dare you suggest he alter his God-given antlers? It sounds like it’s more of an inconvenience to him than to you. Get yourself a pair of headphones and get over it. 🙄
/u/TheSeriousInaccuracy
have you ever heard of peruke antlers? clearly “God” makes mistakes that need to be fixed. poor guy’s suffering from a combo of giant antlers + stupidity. it’s a difficult conversation, but it’s one possible solution! that said, INFO. op didn’t say how they brought it up. could go either way.
/u/aslanforever1000
Peruke antlers are beautiful and unique, but that’s beside the point. The original poster would have said if they were peruke. Would you tell a giraffe to get their neck shortened because it was inconveniencing you?
/u/TheSeriousInaccuracy
deer literally die from peruke complications all the time, but okay. and yeah, i would if it was *also inconveniencing the giraffe,* as it’s a problem for the stag above. are you even a deer?
continue this thread →
/u/SqueakyJuror
my brother has peruke antlers and he can’t WAIT until he can get them off. beautiful maybe, PITA absolutely
/u/tired_blackberry
NTA. come on, people! they told him not to run in the office (reasonable) and offered the pillow solution before saying anything. the building is designed to be accessible, i feel like if he doesn’t want to get the antler reduction he could look for a different job? i mean, eight broken mugs a week? he’s gotta be sick of it too. sure it probably sounds a bit drastic at first, but he doesn’t have to go sulk and get everyone on his side.
/u/PiercingBaron
okay, but even if the stag is sick of his antlers (which op doesn’t mention!), it makes sense that he doesn’t like the suggestion coming from someone else. people’s antlers are their pride and joy!
/u/tired_blackberry
but do people have the right to have their “pride and joy” intrude on everyone else’s peace and quiet? i’d ask a humanoid to trim their really long nails, i’d ask someone with big horns/antlers to trim em, i’d ask someone with long tusks to trim them, too.
/u/battylicence
okay, can you not use the word h*manoid? 🙄
continue this thread →
/u/DreamilyMarked
As if the building is truly accessible if a deer with wide antlers can’t get through, what about us big guys like hippos/rhinos/elephants?
/u/tired_blackberry
okay, so there are exceptions to everything. i don’t think it’s reasonable to make every building tall enough for giraffes and elephants. even if we did, if we made counters tall enough for them then we small species couldn’t do our business
/u/DreamilyMarked
nice discrimination, dude. hell of a lot easier to make elephant-sized counters work for mice than it is to make mice-sized counters work for elephants.
/u/tired_blackberry
nice condescension, dude! how are you suggesting we make elephant-sized counters mouse-accessible?
continue this thread →
/u/SqueakyJuror
i haven’t seen any actual deer weighing in yet? i’m a mouse but my brother is a deer and look, sometimes your body betrays you. idk if you should have said anything (maybe asked one of his fellow deer to suggest it), but i don’t see anything fundamentally wrong with it. they’re probably annoying in his home life, too. NTA.
/u/DreamilyMarked
can’t believe you’re suggesting this stag get his antlers shortened instead of the building, idk, making the doors bigger?!
/u/SqueakyJuror
it’s not about the building so much as it is the fact that this guy probably deals with his antlers being annoying all the time 🤷
/u/tired_blackberry
agreed, poor thing is slamming into a door several times a day. that’s gotta hurt
continue this thread →
/u/PiercingBaron
NAH. it makes sense to *gently* tell someone about options to help them, but neither is he the asshole for being hurt by it. idk, i’m a mouse and i know if someone suggested shortening my tail i’d have something to say about it.
/u/aslanforever1000
“i’d have something to say about it.” Of course you would, which is why the original poster shouldn’t have suggested such an invasive procedure in the first place.
/u/tired_blackberry
seriously? it really isn’t that invasive a procedure. it’s basically like getting your hooves trimmed
/u/aslanforever1000
Any animal who needs their hooves trimmed clearly isn’t exercising enough. Go enjoy nature!
continue this thread →
/u/putridcommander7
ayyy, mice represent! ✊ every time my auntie starts talking about how reepicheep lived without his tail i grab mine and hold it tight 🥺
/u/PiercingBaron
right?! i don’t know how reep did it!
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