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If I'm Being Honest

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Lena closed the lid of the centrifuge and turned it on, praying to a god she didn’t believe in that this test would work. Wiping her forehead with the back of her hand, she began to clear off her table as the doors to her lab whooshed open.

 

“Any progress?” Kara asked, stepping into the brightly lit laboratory, her cape fluttering behind her. 

 

Lena’s heart rate ticked up at the sight of the hero, and she hoped that the blonde hadn’t noticed the increase. At this point, her heart always pounded around Kara. So much so, that Lena hoped that Kara simply thought Lena’s resting heart rate was that of a panic attack. Just one more by-product of being in love with her best friend. 

 

“The samples are running now. I’ll know in about ten minutes,” Lena replied, trying to force down the blush that was threatening to climb up her neck and into her cheeks at Kara’s close proximity. She turned back to the task at hand, clearing off her table, and capping the beaker of Truth Seeker venom. 

 

“I guess this will all be moot if we can’t figure out a way to safely get the serum to Lex,” Kara said, setting her hands on her hips and scuffing the ground with her boot. “It’s not like he would ever willingly tell the truth about his crimes.”

 

Lena sighed in exasperation. “Kara, I told you: leave it to me. I’m the only one he’ll let into his presence. I can get close enough to him to do what needs to be done---”

 

“And I told you that that’s not happening!” Kara cut her off quickly, an angry red flush rising in her cheeks. “I’m not letting you put yourself at risk like that. I’m not letting you get within two feet of that lunatic, Lena. You finally got away from him, I’m not going to force you back into his clutches.”

 

Lena spun around to face her, fists clenched. “Oh, you’re not letting me? I’m not yours to control! And besides, I’m not some damsel in a tower! This is what needs to be done and I’m willing to do it. Alex agrees, J’onn agrees, so why can’t you?”

 

Kara’s hands balled into fists as they dropped from her hips and she began to stutter. 

 

“It’s not -- you can’t -- if anything -- he could kill you , Lena!”

 

Lena’s gaze dropped to her hands and she returned to her task, turning away from the blonde. “If that’s what it takes to stop Lex and save the world, I think one life is a worthy trade.”

 

“You didn’t think so when I was stuck in the phantom zone.”

 

Well, shit. Kara had her there. Lena had not been willing to trade one life for the world back then, but that was because it was Kara’s life being traded. Her own was small potatoes in comparison to that.

 

“That was different,” she mumbled unconvincingly. They had had this argument many times in the last few weeks, ever since they'd decided to coerce Lex into telling the truth with Truth Seeker venom. Neither were willing to give an inch of ground to the other. 

 

“Lena,” Kara sighed, stepping closer and placing a soft, strong hand on her arm, turning her to face the hero. “I just don’t want you to get hurt. I -- I care about you. If anything happened to you--”

 

“You’d have to rely on Brainy for your tech needs, Rao help you,” Lena joked, trying to break the tension. Kara was much too close. She might do something stupid, like gaze into her big blue eyes, or tell her she loved her, or kiss her. 

 

Kara’s eyes fluttered closed in exasperation at Lena’s words, clearly frustrated by Lena’s seeming indifference to her own life. As she opened them, she sighed, clearly realising they weren’t going to agree on this once again.

 

“You’ve got a little--” Kara reached up to Lena’s brow and gently wiped away at something, the pads of her fingers gently brushing over the quickly heating skin underneath them. Lena fought to keep her eyes open, as they threatened to drift closed at the sensation of warm skin on her own. Kara’s touch was electric, so tender, yet so full of purpose.

 

“--Truth Seeker goo,” Kara finished, showing her the results of her efforts smeared across her thumb. 

 

Lena went red. “Gross,” she replied, dropping her eyes and passing Kara a towel.

 

Kara chuckled, wiping her hand on the offered cloth and stepping closer to Lena. Lena’s hands shook at the closeness of their bodies.

 

“Just...please think about it, Lena. Okay? If not for your own safety and peace of mind, then mine.” She reached down and gently grasped Lena’s wrist, swiping her thumb over the back of it. 

 

“I can’t lose you.”

 

Lena gazed up into earnest blue eyes and was at a loss for words. Fortunately, she didn’t need to come up with anything because at that moment, Alex called Kara away to attend to a bank robbery in progress. 

 

Kara smiled apologetically. “Gotta jet.”

 

Lena nodded, her gaze directed at her own anxiously twining fingers. “Up, up, and away,” she murmured with a smile.

 

Kara squeezed her wrist gently and then sped out of the room, leaving Lena's hair and paperwork fluttering in her wake.

 

Lena sighed. It was getting harder and harder to be around Kara without wanting to confess her feelings, especially now that she was not actively practicing Little Boxes™ anymore.

 

A clanking caught her attention and she turned back to the centrifuge which began to sputter and groan. She reached for the power cord to unplug it, but a violent spark leapt out of the machine at her and she had to duck away. The device continued to spark and groan, the contents inside now unusable for her experiments. She waited for a break in the chaos to reach for the plug, and stood quickly, reaching across the centrifuge to grab the plug.

 

BOOM!

 

The concussive blast blew her across the lab and everything went black.

 


 

A faint beeping echoed in Lena’s ears as she drifted into consciousness, her head pounding. The brightly lit medbay filtered into her squinting eyes as she pried them open in spite of the headache. A shuffling sound to her right made her look up quickly, making her brain feel like it was rolling in her skull, and Alex appeared at her side in full Sentinel gear, checking her vitals and making notes.

 

“Hey, you’re awake,” she noted, setting down the clipboard and taking a seat on a rolling stool next to the bed. “How are you feeling?”

 

Lena’s first instinct was to downplay the injury. She always hated being a bother to the Superfriends when they were the ones risking their lives everyday while she stayed tucked in her lab, safe and sound. But when she opened her mouth, the denials she had prepared were not what came out.

 

“Like I was blasted across the room by a faulty centrifuge,” she muttered, rubbing her pounding forehead.

 

Alex chuckled and Lena winced as her fingers traced over a particularly painful bump on her forehead. 

 

“Yeah you hit your head pretty bad. No signs of a concussion, but you’ll want to take it easy for a couple days.”

 

Lena nodded, knowing full well she was going to ignore that advice. The truth serum needed to get finished and now she was going to have to start from scratch.

 

Still nodding, she replied, “Yeah that’s not going to happen.”

 

She snapped her mouth shut, looking confused. Alex looked up at her in surprise. 

 

Why had she said that out loud? She hadn’t meant to. Maybe this was some kind of concussion-like side effect. 

 

“I’m serious, Lena,” Alex continued sternly, the blue makeup over her eyes creasing absurdly. “Take a day off.”

 

“That eye makeup is atrocious,” Lena blurted out, ignoring her completely. “Let me make you a proper mask!” 

 

She clapped a hand over her mouth and shook her head quickly, eyes wide in horror. What was wrong with her? Alex looked halfway between hurt and confused and it made her feel sick to her stomach.

 

“I’m -- I’m so sorry! I don’t know why I said that! I mean, I think a mask would look better, but I didn’t mean to insult you!”

 

Crap. She had meant to say the eye makeup was fine, even if she didn’t think so, but that is not what had come out.

 

Alex shook her head and raised her hands in a placating manner. 

 

“It’s fine. You’re injured and I know you don’t mean it maliciously.” She gave a small smile. “I’ll let it slide this time.”

 

She stood from her chair and walked back over to one of the machines monitoring Lena’s brain activity, facing away from the Luthor.

 

And, well, Lena just couldn’t stop the next thought that fought to rip itself from her lips.

 

“That suit does absolutely nothing for your ass,” she blurted out. “I mean, I know J’onn made it and he’s like a father figure so I’m sure he didn’t have your curves in mind when he built it, but you have a great ass and it’s a shame you can’t see it in the suit. Look at Kelly’s,” she continued, now in a full ramble, “Now that is how your ass should look in a suit. I can make you a new one if you want.”

 

She paused.

 

“With a mask this time.”

 

Clapping her hands over her mouth again, she stammered out apology after apology through her fingers, eyes wide with shock.

 

“I’m so, so sorry, Alex. I don’t know what’s happening! I don’t mean to say these things out loud! I’m so sorry! I think something’s wrong with me!”

 

Alex narrowed her eyes and worked her bottom lip with her teeth. 

 

“You were working with the Truth Seeker venom, weren’t you?”

 

Lena paled as the reality of the situation dawned on her. “Oh my god, I must have ingested some of the venom in the explosion!”

 

Alex nodded, placing her hands on her hips and pacing around the medbay.

 

“Any idea how long it will last?”

 

Lena shook her head solemnly. “I was still testing it.”

 

Alex sighed. “Well, when Kara gets back from her bank robbery, I’ll debrief the team so we can decide how to approach this. Until then, just rest.”

 

Then she sat down at the medbay desk and got started on some paperwork, glancing into the mirror behind the desk every so often, touching the eye makeup here and there. 

 

Lena grimaced at the complex she had likely just given the agent and rolled over, trying to rest.

 


 

 

“...and now she keeps blurting out truths,” Alex finished, addressing the group that had gathered in the medbay. “Obviously we’re going to have to keep her here at The Tower until she recovers. We can’t have her out in the world where she could just accidentally reveal our identities --”

 

“But is she okay?” Kara cut in quickly, a crinkle in her brow. She had taken up a post by Lena’s bedside, holding her hand as if the scientist was on her deathbed. 

 

“She’s fine, Kara,” Alex reiterated for the fifth time, rolling her eyes at the hero. “Just a bump on the head and an inability to lie.” 

 

Lena stared at the place where their hands were joined, feeling the warmth radiating from the Kryptonian. Kara had such nice hands. So strong and warm and dexterous. She had spent many nights laying awake, thinking about what those fingers could do. She shook her head slightly. This was dangerous territory in her current predicament. Following the blend of blue in the superhero’s suit up her arm, she stared at the crest on her chest. She used to hate that symbol. Now it was her favourite. 

 

“I miss your old suit,” she offered suddenly, the room falling quiet in the wake of her outburst. Her cheeks went red as Kara looked down at her in surprise.

 

“You, uh, you liked the skirt?” Kara asked in confusion.

 

Lena shook her head. “No, actually I hated the skirt. It was so impractical and short. It made me uncomfortable on your behalf. But the top half was great. It showed off your big broad shoulders more and your collarbones and some of your chest…” She trailed off, thinking about the big hunk of beefcake next to her. “The pants are great though, they fit you really well,” she continued, staring off into space. 

 

 Kara coughed, her cheeks going bright red. “Oh, uh, thanks?”

 

Lena returned back to earth suddenly, realising what she had said. “Oh my god, no I’m sorry!”

 

Nia burst into a fit of giggles across the room, clutching her sides.

 

Lena buried her face into her hands as the snickering grew louder.

 

Kelly reached over and shoved the young hero, trying to get her to stop. 

 

“I’m sorry,” Nia gasped between fits of giggles, “but this is too hilarious! We can ask her anything and she can’t lie! I’m taking full advantage!”

 

“Nia, no!”

 

“Nia, yes!” She replied, jumping out of her chair and rushing over to Lena’s bedside. “What do you really think about us? What do you think about Brainy?”

 

Lena gave her an exasperated look and tried to keep her mouth shut, but the words came spilling out all the same.

 

“He’s the brother I wish I had always had. He’s been more of a brother to me than Lex ever was. I enjoy working with him because we’re always on the same page. He’s weird and awkward, like me. He doesn’t understand social cues, like me. And he can’t get a healthy handle on his emotions, like me. I don’t have to dumb anything down. He’s the smartest person I’ve ever met apart from Lex, but he’s unerringly good.”

 

The room went quiet as Lena finished her heartfelt confession. Everyone looked to Brainy, except for Kara, who slipped out of the medbay while everyone was distracted. Lena watched her leave, wondering if she had said something to upset her.

 

Brainy smiled, his eyes tearing up at her admission, and he strode to her bedside, taking her hand in his. 

 

“I’d be lucky to call you my sister,” he replied in his earnest, firm way. Then he returned to whatever task he was working on on his tablet and Lena was thankful he didn’t make a bigger deal out of it all. But that was why they got on so well. They operated on the same wavelength.

 

“Okay, now do --” Nia started before Kelly cut her off.

 

“I think that’s enough,” she replied softly, giving Nia a scolding look.

 

Nia sank down in her chair disappointed, and for a moment, Lena was relieved that she wouldn’t be made to spill her deepest feelings for her friends. But it appeared the Truth Seeker venom had other plans, because before she could even bask in the relief, her next confession came bubbling out.

 

“Nia, you’re like a little sister to me,” she gasped out. “If I had one, I’d want her to be just like you, and I think Maeve is the biggest fool in the world for what she did to you. Your mother would be so proud of you. I know I am.”

 

Nia looked up at her with wide eyes, but before she could even speak, Lena was off and rolling again.

 

“Kelly, I like you so much and I really just want to be your friend. You’re so kind and sweet and thoughtful and understanding and badass and even though I know you can probably see straight through me -- which, by the way, is extremely uncomfortable for someone like me -- I still like hanging out with you and I really wish we were friends.”

 

Kelly smiled genuinely, a look of earnest puzzlement in her eyes. “We are friends, Lena.”

 

That caught Lena by surprise. “We are?”

 

“Of course!”

 

“Oh...well...good.”

 

Sensing a lull in the excitement, Nia quickly fired off another series of names for Lena to give her honest opinions on.

 

“Morgan Edge?”

 

“Sentient bottle of cheap cologne.”

 

“Andrea?”

 

“Hot and mean.”

 

“Definitely gonna unpack that one later. J’onn?”

 

“Too serious, but ultimately kind and fatherly. Wish he’d stop reading my thoughts, though.”

 

J’onn rolled his eyes and marched out of the room, chuckling good-naturedly.

 

“Nia, I think that’s enough,” Kelly again tried to cut in, the lone voice of reason in the room. And Lena appreciated her efforts, but they were moot. The words were coming one way or another. At least Nia was directing the blast.

 

“William Dey?”

 

“Who?”

 

“Exactly. What about James?”

 

“He has a good heart, but he’s very judgemental and a bad kisser. I only dated him to try to get over Kara.”

 

The room went deathly silent but for the clatter of an instrument tray that Alex had been cleaning.

 

“Ohoooo,” Nia gasped out into the silence, clasping her hands over her nose and mouth.

 

Lena felt the blood drain from her face. Her heart stopped. Perhaps Lex could bomb The Tower right at this very moment. That would be welcome. Maybe the Truth Seeker venom could turn out to be lethal and just kill her right then. Maybe Rama Khan could make a comeback and split the earth in two, swallowing her whole. All of those options were preferable to facing the gawping faces in front of her in light of what she had just admitted.

 

“Okay, that’s enough!” Kelly reprimanded sharply. “Everyone out, now !”

 

Lena appreciated the gesture, but it was far too late, she mused as the team filed out one by one until she was left alone with the one person whom she couldn’t bear to face right at this moment.

 

Alex did not look at her, merely stooping to pick up the tray of instruments she had dropped in her shock.

 

The silence was oppressive, filling every void and expanding in painful measure. Lena felt like she might collapse under the weight of it. She could only imagine the horror that Alex was feeling at her admission, the thought that she could feel anything for Kara after everything that had passed between them. If she was capable of doing all she had done to someone she loved, what else was she capable of?

 

As the tension pulled her in all directions and the panicked explanations and apologies rose in her chest, Lena tried to grab ahold of herself. She was at a precipice, standing on the edge of the universe. Whatever words she said next might well define what her relationship with Alex Danvers would be for the foreseeable future. It needed to be poignant, heartfelt, honest (not that she had a choice there), and intelligent.

 

“I’m not sorry I love your sister, Alex!” 

 

That was what came out instead. Followed by a stream of unintelligible gibberish as she tried to sort what she wanted to say to Alex’s shocked face.

 

“I mean, I am! I am sorry, because I don’t deserve to love her after everything, but I’m not sorry because loving her is the purest part of me, even if it’s the most selfish part of me. And I know that you and I are finally getting back to a good place, and I don’t want to ruin my friendships with either you or Kara, so I won’t say anything to her, and I hope that you won’t either.”

 

Alex stood frozen, a dumbfounded look in her makeup-caked eyes, and the same tray in her hands.

 

“Is--Is that really what you think, Lena? Is that what you think of yourself -- what you think we think of you?”

 

Lena felt herself go red. God, this honesty thing was mortifying.

 

“Well, it’s not like I can lie,” she grumbled.

 

“Lena,” Alex sighed, pulling a stool over to the side of her bed and sitting down heavily. “That’s just your own guilt talking. Kara, me, everyone -- we forgave you for everything a long time ago. You have our love, and our forgiveness. You deserve to be here. You belong here, and you always will. 

 

“As for how you feel about Kara, well…” she trailed off for a moment, a small smile on her lips. “I’m a little insulted in your opinion of my intelligence if you think I haven’t noticed the way you look at each other.”

 

Lena looked up from her hands where they twined together in her lap.

 

“Each other?” She asked in a small voice.

 

Alex exhaled through her nose in amusement. 

 

“That’s what you took from all of that? Look, I would never speak for Kara, but I do know that if she heard you talk about yourself like this, she’d probably heat vision you to death.”

 

“And as far as her feelings for you,” she continued, a smile playing across her lips, “well, why don’t you tell her how you feel and see how it goes.”

 

At the look of horror on Lena’s face, she added, “I don’t think you’ll be disappointed, is what I’m saying.”

 

And with that, she pushed up from her seat and stepped over toward a machine to check Lena’s vitals.

 

A final important thought hit Lena, and she felt compelled to address it while she couldn’t be anything but honest.

 

“I’d really like to be close to you, Alex, but I’m still hurt over Mt. Norquay.”

 

Alex winced at the memory of almost wiping her friend off the face of the earth, and then nodded. 

 

“I know. I am too. And I’m sorry, truly I am.”

 

“Me too.”

 

“We’re going to have to work on that, you and I,” Alex added, taking her hand. 

 

“I’d like that,” Lena replied, as a tear fell down her cheek. Alex wiped it away with the back of her finger and squeezed her hand.

 

“Get some rest, nerd. I’ll come check on you in a bit.”

 

***

 

The truth serum wore off within a few hours and since there was no evidence of a concussion or internal injury, Alex was unable to convince Lena to stay on bedrest.

 

The scientist had other plans.

 

Kara had left during her little game of honesty Russian roulette and Lena had not seen her since. Had she upset her with her comments about her suit? Had someone told her what Lena had said? Was she avoiding Lena?

 

There was only one way to find out, which was why Lena found herself climbing the steps to Kara’s loft and shuffling from foot to foot outside her door, trying to work up the courage to knock.

 

Kara took the choice away from her when she flung open the door with a bright “Lena!” and a hug. Apparently she had heard her heart racing outside the door and had wondered why she wasn’t knocking.

 

Damn superhearing , Lena cursed to herself.

 

Kara ushered her into the apartment and closed the door, offering her some tea.

 

“Tea would be lovely, thanks,” she replied, setting her bag down on the kitchen island as Kara busied herself with the kettle.

 

“How are you feeling?” Kara asked as she filled the pot.

 

“Much better,” she replied, twining her fingers together. “Alex took good care of me even though I kept insulting her appearance.”

 

Kara threw her head back and laughed. “Oh man, I wish I could have been there for that.”

 

Lena grinned and picked at a scratch in the wood of the island. “Yeah, about that…I noticed that you snuck off after I said...well, what I said about your suit. And I guess -- I was wondering if what I said offended you, or upset you in some way.”

 

The tea kettle whistled and Kara began filling their mugs. There was silence as the water trickled into the cups, singing the soft paper of the teabags. 

 

“No, not at all,” Kara said finally, sliding her mug across the island to her. “To be honest, I would have loved to stay and listen to you give your honest opinions on things with your trademark wit --”

 

“Then why didn’t you?” Lena blurted out. She hadn’t meant to interrupt but her heart was pounding with anxiety and she needed an answer.

 

Kara sighed. “Well, I was worried you would say something you’d regret. Or maybe something you weren’t ready to admit to us. I knew Kelly would shut it down eventually, but I also know Nia, and if she had it her way, you’d be spilling your guts about everyone you knew.”

 

She shrugged, smiling that soft crooked smile that she seemed to reserve specially for Lena.

 

“I guess I was just trying to preserve your dignity.”

 

Of course. Of course Kara had left to be considerate of her feelings. That was just who Kara was. Lena felt her heart explode into a hundred pieces. This really fucking sucked. The one person she wanted, she absolutely could not have.

 

“Good thing,” Lena quipped when she had a better grip on her emotions. “Nia had me saying some pretty wild shit about you.”

 

Kara grimaced. “Oh yeah? Like what? How you think I have a God complex? Or how I’m a terrible friend who betrayed your trust?” She chuckled dryly, dropping her gaze to the counter. “I’ve already heard those straight from you, so I’m sorta glad I wasn’t there for the replay.”

 

Lena frowned and her heart dropped into her stomach. “No actually, that’s not it at all.”

 

Kara looked up and Lena saw the hope in her eyes.

 

“Is that how you think I feel about you?” She asked, sliding her palm over the back of Kara’s warm hand. Kara flipped her palm up and slowly twined their fingers together.

 

“I don’t know...maybe.” She sighed. “Maybe that’s just what I think about myself.”

 

Though Lena was certain that the Truth Seeker venom had worn off long ago, she could not stop the word vomit that rose in her throat, desperate to dispel this image the hero had of herself.

 

“Actually, I admitted the real reason I dated James to them.”

 

Kara furrowed her brow in confusion. “What do you mean? I thought you liked James.”

 

Lena nodded her head back and forth. “He was...fine. He was into me. And I -- I needed to get over someone I couldn’t have. He was there. I thought maybe if I gave it a shot -- if I tried hard enough to be in love with him -- I would get over the other person.”

 

She sipped her tea and chuckled dryly. “It didn’t really work out that way.”

 

She looked up to see Kara staring at her with wide eyes. 

 

“Who was it -- if you don’t mind me asking, of course. It’s just, you never mentioned anyone before James, so…”

 

Lena looked down at where their hands were still knotted together on the countertop and softly brushed her thumb across Kara’s knuckles. Glancing back up to Kara’s deep cornflower eyes, she urged her to see the truth in her own.

 

Please don’t make me have to say it , she pleaded internally. 

 

Kara must have heard her desperate subconscious because her eyes widened impossibly and her breath rushed out in a soft, “Oh…”

 

Lena could see the wheels turning quickly in the blonde’s mind.

 

“So -- so you -- all this time?”

 

Lena stared down at her mug before returning the gaze burning into her forehead. 

 

“Yes.”

 

“Oh Rao.”

 

Kara said nothing more for a moment, but she didn’t immediately pull her hand out of Lena’s grasp, which Lena hoped was a good sign. She seemed to be lost in thought, perhaps sifting through this new collection of information and filing it away in the appropriate emotion-folders. 

 

But the silence was like a knife pressing against Lena’s throat. She had laid herself bare. Now she needed to know where they went from here. It was clear that if the obvious response didn’t come to Kara right away, then it likely wasn’t the one she was hoping for. Alex clearly didn’t know her sister as well as she thought she did.

 

“Look, it’s -- I’m not expecting anything. I know you don’t feel that way about me, but after everything today, in the spirit of being honest -- and to stop whatever negative monologue was going through your head about what I might have said -- I just felt like you should know. But -- but nothing has to change. I’m fine -- I’ll be fine. And I want to stay friends if -- if you still want that.”

 

Kara seemed to snap out of her reverie finally. 

 

“Wait, what? No!”

 

Lena felt the colour drain from her face. Fuck. Kara didn’t even want to be friends anymore.

 

“Oh. Um, ok. I--I’m sorry...I’ll -- I’ll get out of here.”

 

Pulling her hand from Kara’s grasp, she grabbed her bag and headed for the door.

 

Stupid, stupid, stupid. What the hell had she been expecting? Now she had gone and ruined everything. If she had just kept her stupid mouth shut…

 

“Wait, no! That’s not what I meant!”

 

To her surprise (and instant relief) Kara came sprinting around the end of the island, grabbing her hand and pulling her into a crushing hug. 

 

“Of course I still want to be your friend, you dummy,” she chided into Lena’s hair, nuzzling deeper into it. “I was kinda spaced out there. I just--I was thinking about everything that happened between us, wondering how I didn’t see it -- how I didn’t know -- and realising that so much makes sense now with that context…”

 

Lena buried her face into the warmth of Kara’s neck and just allowed herself a moment of sheer relief in the face of what was almost her worst nightmare. She hadn’t lost Kara forever, thank god. It wasn’t the result she was hoping for, but Rao , it was better than the alternative.

 

“And I guess I just forgot to say anything,” Kara continued sheepishly. “Well, more importantly,” she pulled back in Lena’s arms to look deeply into her blue-green eyes, “I forgot to tell you that I feel the same way.”

 

Lena’s eyes widened in shock. “What?” 

 

“I feel the same.”

 

“You do?”

 

“Of course I do, dummy.”

 

Lena shook her head in confusion. This had to be a dream. Maybe Kara had misunderstood.

 

“To be clear,” she began slowly, “what do you feel the same about?”

 

Kara rolled her eyes. 

 

You ,” she emphasised in exasperation.

 

“What about me?” Lena asked suspiciously.

 

“Ughhh,” Kara moaned, throwing her head back, “you’re really going to make me say it?”

 

“I’d like to hear it.”

 

“Fine. I love you. I’ve always loved you. I feel the same about loving you. I also want us to stay friends, but like -- friends who are also in an exclusive relationship with each other and like, kiss and stuff.”

 

Lena narrowed her eyes. “So you want to be friends with benefits?”

 

“What? No! Crap, I’m not very good at this, am I?” She sighed, running her hands down her face and gathering her thoughts. “I...want...you,” she spelled out slowly, as if she were trying to speak to someone who didn’t understand english, “to...be...my...girlfriend...because...I...love...you...Lena Luthor.”

 

Lena thought her face might crack apart with the force of the smile on her lips. “Thought you’d never ask, you big dork.”

 

Kara grinned and leaned in for a kiss, nudging Lena’s nose with her own and making Lena’s heart beat harder than a heavy metal band.

 

Just before their lips touched, the blonde pulled back a fraction and looked at Lena suspiciously.

 

“You know, you never actually said that you love me too.”

 

Lena rolled her eyes.

 

“I love you too, darling.”

 

Kara leaned in again, but stopped a millimeter away again.

 

“Are you sure?”

 

Lena huffed and gripped her chin, arching a stern eyebrow over a seductive smile.

 

“Would I lie to you?”

 

And she pulled Kara in for the last first kiss of her life.