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L'Ère du temps

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You are on the voicemail of Miranda Priestly, please leave a message after the tone.

“…Hi Miranda, It’s Andrea, mmh Andrea Sachs. I don’t know if you saw me, but I saw you today across the street. And well I don’t know if that makes sense, but I just can’t stop thinking about it… Gosh it’s embarrassing you certainly didn’t notice me. Anyway, I wanted to apologize for the way I left in Paris and thank you for your uhm recommendation. So, I was wondering (nervous chuckle) if I could buy you a coffee one day, it’s really the least I can do after everything… I would totally understand if you’re not interested, I could maybe bring you the coffee and just run away to let you enjoy it in peace. Gosh I’m rambling I’m sorry, besides you certainly have deleted my message by now. I’ll stop bothering you now, good night Miranda and thank you again.”

Miranda : Incoming call

---

To: miranda.priestly@eliasclark.com
From: Sachs.andy@gmail.com
Subject: Thank you

Miranda

I wanted to tell you that I was very happy to have met you yesterday for coffee, I had a good time in your company.
I was wondering if you would be interested to share a coffee with me again and maybe a donut because why not?
Have a nice day.

Andrea

To: Sachs.andy@gmail.com
From: miranda.prieslty@eliasclark.com
Subject: RE: Thank you

Andrea

I don’t do donuts, but I could be convinced by a sugar free muffin. I am free tomorrow at 8am, or is it too early for such a young reporter?

M.P.
---

Andrea S: Thank you again for the coffee and the donut, though I feel bad. I am the one who invited you and you are the one who paid.

Miranda P: You’ll pay next time.

Andrea S: Yeah next time :)

---

Andrea S: How’s your shirt? Gosh I’m so sorry.

Miranda P: Stop apologizing. I am more concerned about your hands.

Andrea S: They’re fine just a little bit red. Next time I’ll have an Ice coffee ;)

Miranda P: Please don’t.

---

Andrea S: I have a confession to make…

Miranda P: I fear for the worst.

Andrea S: I’m getting tired of coffee. Wanna do lunch?

Miranda P: How can someone be tired of coffee?

Andrea S: Not everyone is a coffee addict.

Miranda P: What a shame.

Andrea S: you still haven’t answered my question.

Andrea S: I’ll understand if you don’t want to…

Andrea S: We can totally stick to coffee.

Andrea S: I shouldn’t have said anything sorry, forget I even asked.

Miranda P: Stop being so dramatic. I was checking my calendar. I am free Wednesday at 1pm. Where do you want to meet?

Andrea S: Wednesday: noted, and the location? It’s a surprise ;)

Miranda P: Please don’t. I hate surprises.

Miranda P: Tell me where we are going.

Miranda P: Andrea!

---

Andrea S: Still hate surprises?

Miranda P: Yes. My clothes smell like French fries.

Andrea S: I can’t believe you tried to eat chicken wings with a fork and a knife.

Miranda P: I can’t believe you made me eat chicken wings.

Miranda P: and a milkshake

Andrea S: I should have taken a picture of you and then sold it to the press.

Miranda P: and then you could have afforded to invite me in a restaurant with cutlery.

Andrea S: yes, anything for Mrs. French fries.

Miranda P: I’m deleting your number.

---

Andrea S: Hey are u awake?

Miranda P: Because of my incompetent staff unfortunately I am yes. Why are you still awake at 2am?

Andrea S: can’t sleep

Miranda P: Is everything alright?

Andrea S: No. I know it’s late, but can I call you?

Mrs. French fries: Incoming call

---

Miranda P: You’re certainly still sleeping, but I hope you are feeling better. Call me if you need.

---

To: miranda.priestly@eliasclark.com
From: Sachs.andy@gmail.com
Subject: exhibition

Miranda

The last time we saw each other you mentioned an interest in aboriginal’s art, well my friend Lily, as I already told you, runs a gallery and her new exhibition is about aboriginal’s art. So, I was wondering if you would like to come with me to her gallery this Friday. I know it’s a little bit of a short notice, but I really hope you’ll say yes. We can have dinner afterward, and I swear that this time there will be silverware.
I must go, otherwise I’ll be late to work!
Have a nice Wednesday and don’t work them too hard.

Andrea

To: Sachs.andy@gmail.com
From: miranda.pireslty@eliasclark.com
Subject: RE: exhibition

Andrea

My driver will pick you up at 7pm and I’ll be the one to handle diner this time (my stomach still hasn’t recovered from the milkshake.)

If they would do their job correctly, I wouldn’t have to work them so hard.

Don’t get hit while crossing the road.

M.P.

---

Miranda P: Unfortunately, I am running late, send me the address and I’ll join you directly at the gallery.

Andrea: I hope everything is okay, I’ll wait for you there!

---

Andrea: 3 missed calls.

Andrea S: It’s already 9pm are you on your way?

Andrea S: The gallery closes at 10pm…

Andrea S: where are you?

You are on the voicemail of Miranda Priestly, please leave a message after the tone.

“Miranda, it’s me Andrea. I know sometimes things come up and you run late, but you could have at least called me to tell me you weren’t coming… Anyway, I’m home now. (Few seconds of silence) Can you at least call me back. I wanna know if you’re alright.”

Andrea S: Why don’t you pick ur phone?

Andrea S: I’m really beginning to worry.

Andrea S: Please answer me.

Miranda P: I’m fine. I’m at home.

Andrea S: Thank God! I was so afraid! Why didn’t you come or even pick up the phone?

Miranda P: I came. You were already occupied with someone.

Andrea S: I don’t understand.

Andrea: Incoming call

Andrea S: Why don’t u pick up ur phone?

Miranda P: I do not want to disturb you during your night. Goodbye Andrea.

You are on the voicemail of Miranda Priestly, please leave a message after the tone.

“What did you mean by goodbye Andrea? You do not make any sense. I was waiting for you all night! Why do you think you were bothering me? (gasp) Oh my god! You saw Nate, that’s why you left! Wait why did you leave? (second gasp) Oh my god! You were jealous? Nate is my ex. There is nothing between us anymore. Seriously Miranda I can’t believe this situation. (silence) You know what? I’m coming over.”

---

Andrea S: I got home safely ;)

Miranda P: Good. Wouldn’t want you to die on your way home.

Andrea S: Yes. Especially not after that kiss ;)

Miranda P: We are not talking about that in text messages.

Miranda P: And stop sending winking emojis. It’s tacky.

Andrea S: You’re no fun Priestly.

Andrea S: Goodnight, Miranda.

Miranda P: Goodnight, Andrea.

---

Andrea S: Are you still at the office?

Miranda P: Yes.

Andrea S: Busy night?

Miranda P: Unfortunately. What do you want Andrea?

Andrea S: Not a very nice way to thank someone who is bringing you a steak from S&W.

Miranda P: I’ll let the security know to expect you.

Miranda P: I hope you bought something for yourself. I’d hate to have to eat alone.

---

Miranda P: I think I own you a dinner. Are you free tonight?

Andrea S: Well hello to you too. I have an article to finish :(

Andrea S: I have an idea!

Miranda P: Should I be scared?

Andrea S: I can write my article from home, it won’t take me long. Maybe you could come over and keep my company?

Andrea S: We can order Chinese take-out!

Miranda P: Keeping you company while you work?

Andrea S: Yes? It’s not a good idea?

Andrea S: Maybe it’s too much too soon?

Andrea S: It’s not because we are alone in my apartment with a bed than something must happen.

Andrea S: Gosh why did I sent you this text?

Andrea S: How do you delete messages???????

Miranda P: I’ve never met someone who rambles even in text messages.

Miranda P: I’ll be there at 7 but I must warn you.

Andrea S: Yes?

Miranda P: I’m terrible with chopsticks.

Andrea S: I’ll teach you ;)

Miranda P: God the winking emoji is back.

Andrea S: Can’t wait to see you too!

---
Andrea S: Got home safely?

Miranda P: Yes. But my back is killing me. You should burn your mattress.

Andrea S: If I recall you weren’t complaining about my mattress last night.

Andrea S: You were way too busy ;)

Miranda P: Goodbye Andrea.

---

Andrea S: A guy just delivered to my apartment some very expensive Egyptian cotton sheets.

Miranda P: I know.

Andrea S: This is too much. I can’t accept.

Miranda P: Those are for me. Feel free to use any sheets you want when I’m not there.

Andrea S: I sincerely hope that I won’t find a new mattress on my doorstep tomorrow.

Miranda P: Only the future will tell.

---

Miranda P: Sushi tonight?

Andrea S: Sounds great. See you at 8?

Miranda P: Yes. I must go, I have a meeting with Irv.

Andrea S: Copy that. I’ll have the wine ready.

---

Andrea S: Are you still at Runway?

Miranda P: Yes but not for long.

Andrea S: Just got out from work. Long day. Want some ice-cream?

Miranda P: It’s 10pm. Are you mad?

Andrea S: Pleeeaase. I had a terrible day :(

Miranda P: Fine.

Andrea S: Great I’m just outside of Elias Clark. I’ll wait.

Miranda P: Stalker.

---

You are on the voicemail of Andrea Sachs, please leave a message after the tone.

“I’ve read your article about the treatment of old people in our society. It’s good work. You deserved that front page. (Silence) I’m proud of you. Anyway, dinner tonight. I’ve made a reservation at Le Bernardin. Call me back to confirm the hour.”

---

To: miranda.priestly@eliasclark.com
From: Sachs.andy@gmail.com
Subject: Lily’s birthday

Miranda,

This Saturday, Lily is throwing a little party for her birthday. Lily’s new boyfriend will be there and also Doug’s, so I was wondering if my girlfriend would be interested in coming with me?
It will be a quiet party at Lily’s place nothing fancy or crazy, but it will mean the world to me if you would come.

Have a nice day.

Andy

---

You are on the voicemail of Miranda Priestly, please leave a message after the tone.

“Hi it’s me your girlfriend (little chuckle) I know you hate this term. Actually, I’m calling to thank my significant other (another chuckle) is it better? Wait where was I? Ah yes, I’m calling my partner (a hiccup) to thank her for coming tonight. Lily loved the bag and you left quite an impression on Doug. Too bad you had to leave so soon though. (Another hiccup) I think I had way too much tequila. See what happens when you leave me alone at a party with questionable people. Yes, I’m talking about Doug and his love for shots. Anyway, goodnight Miraaa. I love you. (Silence then a shriek) OH MY GOD I did not just say that to you over the phone for the first time. OH MY GOD, I said it to your voicemail. I wanna die. I wanted to tell you after a romantic dinner or at least face to face. I’m so sorry. How do you delete messages?”

Andrea S: Please whatever you do, do not listen to your voicemail. PLEASE

Miranda P: Too late.

Andrea S: OMG

Miranda P: Stop being so dramatic and come over.

Andrea S: I’m so sorry! just forget I said it.

Miranda P: I am not proclaiming my feelings for you over text messages, get a taxi and come over.

Miranda P: And take a change of clothing.

---

Miranda P: I’ve found your bra. It was in Patricia’s basket…

Miranda P: Looks like I have some competition over your heart.

Andrea S: She can keep the bra.

---

Miranda P: Dinner at the townhouse tonight?

Andrea S: But you have your daughters this weekend.

Miranda P: I know.

Andrea S: Oh whoa. Are you sure?

Miranda P: Yes. Does lasagna suit you?

Andrea S: Sounds perfect.

---

Miranda P: Caroline and Cassidy want you back Thursday night for our pizza night.

Andrea S: Great! This is a good sign, right?

Miranda P: A very good sign.

---

Miranda P: I’m on my way. I brought a nice bottle of pinot noir.

Andrea S: Use your key. I’m still at work.

Andrea S: But can’t wait to see you.

---

You are on the voicemail of Miranda Priestly, please leave a message after the tone.

“Hi Miranda, uhm how to say that… (hysterical laughter). I know we were supposed to spend the evening together at my apartment, god I even bought the wine you like so much, but you pretend you don’t because the bottle doesn’t cost an arm. (Deep breath) Anyway my parents are here. They wanted to surprise me and to spend the weekend with me. I really hope you are not already on your way to my place. Why don’t you ever pick up your phone when it’s important? (ding dong) oh my god, I really hope it’s the pizza and not you. (Muffled voices) Andy? Can you explain to us why there is Miranda Priestly on your doorstep holding flowers? Awww you brought me flowers? Andrea! I have to go.”

---

Andrea S: I talked to my parents.

Miranda P: How did it go?

Andrea S: Good I think, well could have gone worse. Could have gone better too…

Andrea S: They want to meet you!

Miranda P: I’ve already met them. Two hours ago, actually.

Andrea S: The want to meet you properly this time. So, dinner tomorrow night :)

Miranda P: I suppose I don’t have a say on the matter?

Andrea S: No. I must go; we’re going out to watch Chicago. We couldn’t last time because of a hurricane.

Miranda P: You don’t make any sense.

Andrea S: Love u and thanks for the flowers!

---

Andrea S: Just cut my hair!

Miranda P: send me a pic.

Andrea S: No no Mrs. Priestly. You’ll have to wait ;)

Miranda P: :( (Cassidy taught me that)

---

Andrea S: Just had a call from my mom.

Miranda P: Everything alright?

Andrea S: Yeah everything’s fine. She actually asked about you!

Miranda P : Miracle of miracles.

---

You are on the voicemail of Miranda Priestly, please leave a message after the tone.

“Hi Miraaa, it’s me Andraya. (chuckles). I am just calling you to tell you that I missed you tonight. In fact, I miss you all the time. Sometimes I am sad that I can’t hold your hand at diner or kiss you in the park when we walk Patricia. I know it’s not your fault with the divorce and all, but I want to tell everyone that Andrea Sachs loves Miranda Priestly. (A hiccup) Gosh I am so drunk. Don’t mind me I am just being a fool. Goodnight.”

---

Miranda P: Stop sending me pictures of this nature.

Andrea S: I thought you would like them :(

Miranda P: Not when I am in a budget meeting and Irv’s face is right in front of me.

Andrea S: I know that in your eyes I can’t compete with Irv, but I am really doing my best.

Andrea S: Maybe I should try premature baldness and suits too big for me.

Miranda P: I’m blocking you.

Andrea S: Good luck with that. You don’t know how.

---

You are on the voicemail of Andrea Sachs, please leave a message after the tone.

“Andrea call me back immediately and quit this childhood behavior. I didn’t know I was dating a 10 years old.”

Andrea S: I am not calling you back. I am too angry with you.

Miranda P: You are being ridiculous.

Andrea S: No, I am not. It’s not my fault if you had a shitty day at the office. I am here to support you. I am not here for you to take your frustrations out on me. Good night.

---

You are on the voicemail of Andrea Sachs, please leave a message after the tone.

“I’m sorry about last night. You were right. I am just not used to speak about my (silence) emotions freely. Call me back when you wake up. (Deep breath) I love you.”

---

Andrea S: Still okay for tonight?

Miranda P: Yes. The girls want to watch a movie, something with Lindsay Lohan.

Andrea S: Great! I’ll bring the ice-cream.

Miranda P: Only one pot!

Andrea S: Sure, only one pot. See ya <3

Miranda P: <3 ?

Andrea S: It represents a heart.

Miranda P: Oh. Well then see you tonight Andrea <3

---

Miranda P: Today my divorce is through and tonight I want to take you out to dinner and hold your hand over the tablecloth.

---

Andrea S: Did you see page 6?

Miranda P: I didn’t know you read this rag.

Andrea S: I think we look hot ;)

---

Miranda P: Editorial meeting is running late, tell the girls I will meet the three of you directly at their recital.

Andrea S: I’ll save you the best seat.

---

Andrea S: You were right.

Miranda P: I usually am.

Andrea S: I should have accepted your invitation to coming with you in Paris. I miss you.

Miranda P: You’ll accompany me next year.

Andrea S: I miss your voice. Care for a little late-night call?

Miranda P: Here it’s 8am. But yes.

Andrea <3: Incoming call

---

Andrea S: I’m the one who’s fetching you from the airport!

Miranda P: Promise me you are not carrying one of these signs with my name on it.

Andrea S: I can’t make such promises…

---

You are on the voicemail of Miranda Priestly, please leave a message after the tone.

“I’ve been on your answering machine all day. Miami must keep you busy. I can’t believe we only had one day together between Paris and this stupid photoshoot. (Deep sigh). I know you come back home tomorrow, but I was hoping to talk to you today. I don’t know if you remember but it’s been exactly a year today that I left you this ridiculous voicemail. (a nervous laugh). I know you found it absurd but to me it’s like our anniversary and I am heading home alone. If I can open this door. (a gasp) Oh dear, I forgot to switch off the light. (A sharp inhale of breath) Oh my god Mira I think someone broke into my apartment.

A yell, phone stumbling to the ground, muffled voices:

-Why do you have to yell like that Andrea?

-Oh my god Miranda? What are you doing here? I thought someone broke in!

-Well, I didn’t break in. I have a key and you mentioned something about an anniversary so here I am.

-Oh my god you flew early just to surprise me! I knew that deep down you were a romantic.

-I am not, stop being ridiculous.

-OH MY GOD you’re naked!

-Aah took you long enough. Now come here, I believe we have an anniversary to celebrate.

Sound of footsteps, a giggle, kissing noises

-Who were you calling?

-Oh, I was calling you. In fact, I am still calling you.

-God I can’t wait to hear this voicemail.

The end!