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Penny’s Friend

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Penny’s Apartment

Leonard was about to knock on Penny’s door when he heard her call out, “You bitch!” followed by the sound of a body hitting the wall hard.

“Is that your best…princess?” a sarcastic female voice responded, along with a loud slap of flesh on flesh.

Turning back to look at Howard and Raj, Leonard mouthed, “What should I do?”

They appeared just as disturbed, but in true Howard fashion, he leered and said, “Find a pool of Jell-O and sell tickets?”

“Maybe we should call the cops,” Raj offered meekly.

Before they could decide on a course of action, the door flung open to reveal two sweaty, bloody and oddly enough, smiling blondes. The second woman was a few inches shorter than Penny and almost waifish in appearance.

“Aww, you never said your geeks were troll dolls,” the woman cooed at Penny. “They are your geeks, aren’t they?”

Penny laughed and introduced them, “Yeah, that’s Leonard, Howard and Raj. Don’t be too offended if Howard hits on you or Raj can’t speak to you. They didn’t look like that when they left, though. Guys, this is my friend, Buffy.”

“Friend?” Leonard asked cautiously. “It didn’t sound…” he trailed off before he could say something that would get him hit. Given the bruises on the arms and legs of both girls, and the bloody lip on Buffy, the fight had to have been fairly vicious.

“We were just doing some Krav Maga,” Buffy clarified. “Penny’s a dirty fighter. I think she broke my finger,” she added proudly, holding up her left hand.

Howard whimpered and stepped behind Raj for safety. Two gorgeous women and he couldn’t hit on either of them. Penny was dangerous enough before, but if she and Buffy knew Krav Maga…well, he wanted to have children someday and couldn’t risk whatever they might do to him if he annoyed them bad enough.

“It’s great for self-defense and working out my aggression,” Penny explained. “Plus, it opens up some new options for me in acting gigs. You wouldn’t believe the number of jobs I can get because I know how to actually fight, not just the choreographed stuff.”

After a few seconds of awkward silence later, Penny chirped, “Oh, welcome back, you guys!” She went to hug each of them and was bemused by the look of terror on Howard’s face when she got close to him.

“Why don’t we order dinner and watch you guys unpack?” Buffy suggested, wondering about the fourth member of their little nerd squad.

Howard muttered something about getting home to his mother, and Raj decided to go with him.

When Buffy saw Sheldon, she yelled, “It’s evil!Spock! Oh god, did I just say that? I’m going to kill Andrew for making me know that,” she cursed to herself.

“It was actually mirror-Spock,” Sheldon corrected, but seemed pleased by the comparison. “Who is your almost-knowledgeable friend, Penny?” he inquired.

“Sorry,” Penny quietly apologized to Buffy before making the introductions. “She’s my martial arts teacher,” she added in case he was wondering about signs of a fight.

Sheldon went on to discuss his research and how he was basically a shoo-in for the Nobel Prize in Physics. Leonard looked very guilty by his excitement, until Buffy couldn’t stand it anymore.

“Why aren’t you as happy as Sheldon about this? It’s a big deal for your career, too, isn’t it?” she prompted.

The whole story came out and Sheldon was gutted by the betrayal of his best friend and not at all appeased that they opted for scientific fraud instead of physically harming him. When he explained that he had already emailed the results and would be a laughingstock at the university after the truth came out, Buffy asked which computer he used to send the email.

“That one,” Sheldon answered, pointing to the laptop on his desk. “But it doesn’t matter; people have already seen the email.”

“Just give me a second,” Buffy ordered, taking out her phone and a thumb drive that was the color of dilithium crystals. She plugged it into the laptop and made a call. “Oz, I have a priority email recall. Subject line: Proof of String Theory. Remove all traces.”

A couple seconds passed before she smiled and said, “You are my hero! Name your price.” She rolled her eyes at his response, but agreed, “Next time I’m in the neighborhood, you got it.”

Turning back to look at Sheldon, she explained, “Even if they read the email, they don’t have proof, so your reputation is safe.”

“See! No harm done!” Leonard cheered.

Buffy glared at him and contradicted him, “I wouldn’t call the breaking of your friend’s trust as no harm. Even if we managed to protect his scientific reputation, it doesn’t change that he knows what you and the other two did to him.”

“You don’t understand how horrible it was up there with him and his control freak tendencies!” Leonard shot back in defense.

Snorting at the stupidity of the defense, Penny asked, “Did you just meet Sheldon? He’s a control freak in his comfort zone, so you didn’t stop to consider that he’d be even worse in a place like the arctic? Even I thought that before you guys left, but figured since you were geniuses, you thought of it, too and, decided that the pros outweighed the cons.”

“I think we should take Sheldon out for dinner while Leonard considered the consequences of his actions,” Buffy suggested, giving Sheldon an excuse to get out of the apartment before he snapped.

“Can we get Thai food?” Sheldon requested. “It’s Monday night and I haven’t had decent mee krob in months!”