So Mew had a plan. Well, it was not really a plan but a draft. No, it was more like a vague jumble of steps he could take to get what he wanted. It was not really important, what was important was that he had a goal and he was working on it.
Gulf pouted at him, the young man was not getting what he wanted right now and what he wanted was attention. One might think that Mew would give his favourite nong all the attention in the world but this was not the case always. That was part of the plan.
Wait, what were they doing again? Mew looked up and froze, damn the younger was pretty. And there went his train of thought again. What was the problem? Ah, yes they were in Mew’s favourite sushi restaurant and the options that Gulf could eat were limited.
“What’s wrong?” The elder cooed, he knew what he wanted, a whole plate of raw fish with extra salmon. But Gulf couldn’t eat that.
“I want the don katsu but not even ten minutes ago you lectured me that I shouldn’t only eat pork,” Gulf complained. And it was fair for him to whine because Mew had been quite stern when he said that he couldn’t always get the same thing.
“Well, I will let it slide because there is not much more you can eat here,” Mew softened his voice and smiled at one of the waiting staff to get their order through.
The younger stayed with a glare on his face, he was going to sulk until his stomach was filled enough that the elder needed to pet it. All that food was making his tummy nice and soft, and it was all Mew’s fault.
The elder was a good phi, and Gulf often met him for dinner and lunch. It was easy that way, after all, they were busy students and didn’t have much time, but they all had to eat. That was the moment that they would make time for each other.
That way it didn’t really feel like they were going out of their way to see each other. Because really, there was no reason for them to see each other otherwise. Mew and Gulf were in different years, different studies, different life stages even.
So what made them stick together one might ask. Well, Mew often joked that it were the stars that kept forcing them together. Gulf just shrugged and explained to his friends that his phi was comfortable to hang out with and liked to pamper him.
If Gulf was having any kind of difficulty he would ask Mew to help him. And if Mew didn’t know the answer then they would find the answer together. They were a good team, It was good to have someone take care of him.
So were they friends? No, they were phi nong, as they said themselves if anyone asked. And a lot of people asked them. Just because there was no reason for them to be so close, too close. It was a little suspicious.
“Have you not told him yet?” Max asked Mew one evening while handing him a beer. They were on a rooftop bar, on what was a too hot day going into a delicious night.
“I’m happy how we are now,” Mew replied hitting bottles in a cheer as they sank back into the lounge chairs. The night view of Bangkok’s city light was quite romantic. He should be here with his lover but instead, he was with two good friends.
“You are a terrible liar, you know that,” Tull rolled his eyes. It was ridiculous what was happening. “You are so certain that the boy is your soulmate but you don’t want to take action? It’s annoying,”
“I don’t want to scare him away, he is comfortable like this,” Mew countered. It was not the first time that he had to say this to his friends. These two were after all there when Mew fell face first in love with Gulf. And that was already more than six months ago.
“I’m pretty sure he would be very comfortable in your bed too,” Max muttered with his beer bottle on his lips.
Mew send him a glare, he didn’t like him talking like that about his innocent nong. But of course, he had thought about that possibility himself. It was not his only motivation though, Mew wanted everything, he was selfish; his friendship, his unconditional love, his pleasure.
“I don’t think he thinks about me like that,” he ended up sighing. Because it was the truth, Nong Gulf never made any advances to make things romantic with his phi. Even if they were known to flirt, and touch, and care. It was sickening to sit next to the couple while they were lost in each other’s world.
Tull rolled his eyes again, “I swear he leaves little to the imagination. You are the phi, I’m pretty sure that he wants you to take control and do things with him that would make even me blush,”
Max gagged at the idea, but it was all in teasing humour. Even if it was not funny that Mew hit him instead of Tull who deserved it more.
“I don’t want to ruin what we have now,” Mew fought back, it was a good reason. Gulf trusted him, they made a good pair of friends if it was not for the age difference. They had a good chemistry and lots of fun. Mew carelessly laughed when he was with his younger, and Gulf could be unapologetically himself.
“Mew, we don’t have much time left. What are you going to do when you leave university? You won't have time to take him out for lunch all the time. Better make it official, you know put a ring on him because like you say, he is too pretty, he will be popular.”
A ring? Was it not a bit early to talk about marriage? Well, Mew did already plan three different types of weddings. All Gulf needed to do was choose his favourite. He was kind of hoping for the destination wedding in Switzerland and then the honeymoon in the Maldives. After all, Gulf likes the mountains while Mew preferred the ocean.
Wait, what were they talking about again? Ah yes, asking Gulf out. Mew bit his lip. How? Gulf would probably not understand his motives. The younger could be very dense and would blink at him with those beautiful doe eyes and Mew was lost again.
Max and Tull looked at each other as if they knew that Mew was dreaming. Lovesick was really making a fool out of him, what a pity of a good PhD.
“I can't believe that Gulf doesn’t know, or that you believe that he doesn’t mirror your admiration. I have seen how he looks at you,” Tull said but was ignored by Mew so he rolled his eyes again. If he needed to do that one more time this night he was going to force the lovesick fool to pay the tab.
“Even if I ask him out, what should I do? I can't remember how to date,” Mew pouted. He might be a little rusty in that department. It made his friends laugh out loud, this was gold.
“Oh my, How about sex? Have you forgotten how to do that too?” Max howled, and Tull wheezed at him, hitting his thigh out of reflex.
“Poor Mew, you are practically virgin again!”
Why was he friends with these people? Mew pouted and drank alone as the two got their laughs out of their systems. People were looking at them because of all the noise they were making but they didn’t care.
However they had a point, he needed to hurry before someone snatched Gulf’s interest away from him. The younger didn’t know how pretty he was himself. But Mew saw both men and women look after him with longing.
Procrastination, Mew was doing that. Not with his work, or studies, but with his feelings. One won’t say that he was, but his official relationship status was still on single.
Gulf was also good at procrastinating by the way. Why else would he be in Mew’s condo, playing on his phone on a Friday evening? He didn’t want to do his homework and he didn’t want to go with the friends his age to a club.
The younger had used Mew as an excuse to be lazy and stay home. The other couldn’t really be annoyed at it. He was old, tired and didn’t have to go out anymore. Staying home and watching a movie sounded like a wonderful idea, especially if nong Gulf was there on the couch.
But he wasn’t really on the couch. Not when Mew sat down to relax with the remote in his hand to choose a movie. That moment Gulf moved to lay over his lap like some kind of overgrown cat that demanded attention.
Mew could be surprised but at this point, it happened so often that it would be a waste of energy. That memo never made it to his heart though, that beat faster and made his skin hot. Mew put his hand down to the thin middle he often held and pressed into it.
Gulf moaned lowly and it made the elder close his eyes. He needed to calm down, if he would get excited then the other would feel it poking him in his side. That was not a romantic way to find out that he had a thing for him.
“Phi, you like video games right?” Gulf asked, he was very much into gaming. “I was thinking that when I come back from my parents’ house I can bring my PlayStation back here and we can play some matches.”
Well, that was a development, first PlayStations then clothes and toothbrushes, and then Gulf would basically live here. They would have to sleep in one bed, of course, and that sounded like a wonderful future. He would come home from work with Gulf waiting for him with dinner.
“Phi?” oh wait he was daydreaming again.
“Sure,” Mew replied, he was not much of a gamer but he was willing to learn. For now, though they had to decide on a movie to watch. He had to do that all by himself because Gulf was not really interested in those things.
It was really funny that they stuck together. There were not many things that they shared interests in but the stars had decided so here they were.
Gulf sat up again, though he would lean on the elder’s shoulder instead of the backrest of the couch throughout the movie. Mew had his arm there so there was no other way of describing it other than that they were snuggling.
That was normal for them, even if Mew would not do this with any other friend. And the younger who felt awkward about touch wouldn’t do it with any other person either. That was the detail of their friendship that had people raise their eyebrows at.
But why would Mew complain? Wasn’t this what he wanted in the first place? Someone to snuggle with at night? Yes partly, but there were still a couple of things that Gulf needed to do to make Mew a fore filled man. But they still had time for that, no need to rush.
Mew smiled when he felt Gulf relax more and more. He knew well enough what that meant. He let the younger slide down as he fell asleep. The elder stayed quiet as he watched the movie with Gulf’s head on his lap now.
And when the movie finished he played with the younger’s soft hair and stared to heart’s content. He would move mountains for this man, if only Gulf knew. But how could he tell him? What words should he use to convey it?
Mew didn’t want to speak, his lips would be more useful kissing, his pouty lips, puffy cheeks, short eyelashes, stubborn forehead. For now, he passed his thumb over the places he wanted to kiss, hoping that the hardness of his thumb ring wouldn’t disturb the sleeping beauty.
Should he wake him up? No, he shouldn’t, he softly chuckled to himself. ‘Never wake a sleeping baby’ his mother had said. So carefully Mew moved Gulf’s body, carrying him like the bride he would one day make of Gulf to his bedroom.
They wouldn’t sleep together tonight. Mew didn’t trust his heart or body. So he let Gulf have his bed and ran his hand once again through the younger’s soft hair doing everything in his power not to lean down and place a good night kiss on his one-sided lover.
Mew made his way back to the couch with a blanket and sighed. He covered his eyes with his lower arm. How long could he hide his affection to such a defenceless Gulf? How dare the younger trust him so much. This was torture.
Once on the too-short couch, Mew found a restless sleep. While in the bedroom his spoiled nong moaned in bliss and he hugged his favourite pillow closer. This thing smelled just like his beloved Phi.
“You must be a saint,” Max shook his head, they met for coffee to waste some time before their Monday lecture.
“That, or Gulf is a devil and is playing you as the fool you are,” Tull sipped his ice macchiato. He was feeling a bit sassy. And there were really no hard feelings to the younger but if Mew really treated him so well, there was no way that he didn’t know his feelings.
Mew rubbed at his eyes. That Saturday morning, Gulf had been pouting at him. The reason, you ask; well he was upset that Mew didn’t wake him up. And he was even more upset that his phi slept on the couch.
“Phi, it is your bed, it is for two people! Why didn’t you just sleep with me?” Gulf whined, not knowing that that was what Mew really wanted to do in the first place.
“I didn’t want you to feel uncomfortable,” he replied with a small voice, wait who was now the older one? Mew shouldn’t be attacked like this. He was only trying to protect the younger’s innocence.
Still, Gulf rolled his eyes and got him to promise that next time this would happen they would just share the bed.
Mew could only nod, and hope that he was strong enough for that next time. And after breakfast, Gulf took the bus to his family home for the rest of the weekend. He had Monday off and so took the extra day to be babied by his parents rather than Mew.
Back to Monday morning, Max was shaking his head. “My man, really I’m worried for you. Doesn’t Gulf realise that you guys are already in a relationship without the kissing or sex?”
“I won't even be mad at that, I just want clarity at this point. Is Gulf open to be my boyfriend?” Mew sighed, hanging his head.
“You know, you can always try asking him,” Tull said in a sarcastic tone. It was after all the things that they had advised for the last six months that Mew should do. But the handsome man decided to be stubborn instead.
“I know, I know. But the second I am with him I get terrified that it will scare him away,” He confessed.
“You are not going to survive much longer with how deep you are in a one-sided love tragedy. Plus it is getting boring. I would like to hear about dirty details about your sex life. That would be much more entertaining,” Max replied making Mew glare at him. He would never share those types of details with him. How Gulf would look post orgasm was only for Mew to know.
He was not going to honour the comment with a reply instead taking out his phone that had buzzed. He was smiling again because Gulf had texted him. He was telling his phi that he was on his way back to the dorm and he had brought the PlayStation.
That would mean that Gulf wanted to go to his condo this week and play games. But Mew’s heart dropped from a beat when a new message arrived for his nong.
“Phi, can I stay over some time this week?”
D-day, it was going to be d-day. Mew wanted to be chill about it but he was not, he was having a mental breakdown. Or he could just ignore his feelings and sleep next to Gulf this Thursday to Friday night, ignore his tickling fingers and continue the foussard of hiding his feelings.
Yes, that was a good plan, they were to play games, have take out and then sleep because Friday was a school day and Gulf was a good student and he wouldn’t skip classes. Mew nodded to himself as he waited near the library around three to pick his nong up.
Gulf had a study group, and then they needed to pick up some stuff in the dorms he lived at and then they would take the car Mew head to his condo. It was a plan, a solid plan. One where confessing his undying love didn’t fit into.
Mew waited until the students filed out of the buildings, knowing that Gulf was easy to spot with his tall stature. Of course, the pretty man was surrounded by other students. Mew sighed when he saw that he was popular ― men and women wanted his attention.
However, Gulf was quick to spot Mew standing, waiting for him and a smile broke out on both their faces. “P’Mew!,” The younger called out and pulled the attention to the elder man. It was his cue to come over but Mew didn’t.
Gulf waied to his classmates and walked to his Phi. No one followed him at first and Mew shared a private greeting asking how the day was. the younger seemed to be in a good mood and that was making the other also relax.
“Should we go pick up my things? I’m kind of hungry though,” Gulf started to pout and Mew could not do anything but pull him closer to walk next to him.
“What do you want? It’s not dinner time yet so we can get a snack,” Mew countered. Of course, Gulf was hungry, he studied hard and grew a lot. He needed a lot of energy to be that cute and tall.
“We can get something small, do you want bubble tea?” Gulf asked back knowing that it was his phi’s preferred drink. He never really cared for the beverage but they had it so often that Gulf found a flavour or two he too liked.
Mew nodded to him, never saying no to some tapioca but mostly happy that Gulf wanted something that he liked more. It was after all the small things that made his heart flutter. They went on their way leaving Gulf’s classmates and friends behind without any other thought. Of course, Mew caught the funny looks, but he still wondered why there was one guy glaring at him so much, what was his name again? Mild, right?
“P’Mew! Dodge! You had to dodge that!” Gulf shouted at him. It was the nth time that poor Mew died in their game. The elder never knew that Gulf could be so passionate about playing video games. If he had known he might have thought twice to play with him.
Yet here he was, losing another virtual life. And maybe losing years of his real-life due to stress when his nong kept pressuring him. Mew had already confessed that he was not skilled in gaming, why was Gulf attacking him like this?
They had hurried back to Mew’s condo because Gulf had been so excited to play. They had settled on the floor to be closer to the TV as if that would help. It was still too early for dinner but at this rate, he didn’t think that he would get the appetite for dinner. And because Mew had already died in the game, Gulf couldn’t survive much longer.
The younger let out an exasperated sigh before he glared at Mew, “It is your fault,” he said while pointing a rude finger. That was too much, the elder rose an eyebrow, trying to get his hands on the impolite digit to tell him off. But that only started another game.
Gulf was not letting Mew catch him and he needed to use more force. Even when Mew got a hold on both of Gulf’s wrists the younger still resisted. Pulling back and with a playful glint in his eyes. Gulf should know better, he was not as strong as Mew, and the elder thought it was a good idea to pin him down to calm the naughty nong.
Big mistake, Gulf was easily pushed on the ground. Wrists trapped on the floor, his hair messy and his cheeks still flushed with the excitement of the game. He looked beautiful, erotic. Mew froze because he had never seen the other like this unless in his wicked dreams.
But instead of surprise or worry, Gulf’s eyes sparkled and his pouty lips dared to smirk at him.
“So you do know how to fight,” he kept teasing. And it made Mew swallow his feelings down.
“Why are you such a brat today?” the elder demanded to know, it was like he was purposely getting Mew on edge.
“You love…” Gulf paused his sentence, his eyes darkening as if he was trying to read the answer in Mew’s eyes. Did he know his feelings? How fast his heart was beating? “it, phi”
The elder let out his breath, pulling back. Gulf was playing a dangerous game, or was it just because Mew was stressing about confessing soon. He shouldn’t read into the younger’s torments too much.
“I will call for delivery, since I lost the game it is fair that I pay,” He said, getting up quickly. It was not really the reason, he was always the one that paid for food but it gave him the excuse to get away from the devil.
That way Mew completely missed the pout Gulf now had on his lips. As if they were sad that Mew didn’t take advantage of the situation. But the elder ran away from it, not knowing what else to do and decided to get the younger’s favourite dishes so that he didn’t have any other reason to be bratty.
After the short phone call, Mew took two glasses of water to the living room coffee table as he figured that it was safe. Gulf had started a solo round and Mew would watch. It was however not a very successful round and after Gulf’s avatar died he put the joystick down.
Mew was sitting on the ground, his back leaning on the couch, his knees bent in a lotus seat. A seat Gulf took for his own. The elder could be surprised if it was the first time, but it wasn’t the first time Gulf took his lap to get comfortable. It was however the first time the younger faced him when doing so.
The elder’s heart started to pick up speed again even if he had been trying so hard to calm down seconds ago. Gulf seemed completely fine though, his hands playing with the strings of the other’s jumper as if that was interesting.
“Today a girl from my study group asked me out for a date,” Gulf confessed as if that was a bad thing. And it would have made Mew’s heart sink in any other situation, however, it was hard to concentrate when Gulf’s lips were so close.
It, therefore, took a second for him to answer with his question. “What are you going to do?”
Gulf shook his head before licking his lips. Why did he do that? They were already so kissable, Mew could see nothing else. “I rejected her, you know why.”
But it was unclear if he wanted his phi to ask why or that he should know why in the first place. But Mew’s brain was not working well right now, so he asked just to be sure as he placed his hands on the younger’s hips. This was a wonderful new position to be stuck in.
“I don’t like women that way, I told you that already. And I don’t want to date someone that I don’t know, and..” Gulf reminded his phi about details that he had given him a long time ago. They had not really spoken about dating and love often. They were too busy getting to know each other in other ways.
“And?” Mew asked, realising that there was another reason. What was it?
“I like someone,” Gulf confessed, it was in a shy voice. He didn’t dare look up, and Mew had to think a moment longer. What did he say? Was there someone that his nong liked? Who was it?
“Mew?” The younger looked up, his eyes hard and there was something dangerous in it. Like he had so much more to give. Why was his cute younger so determined, why was he calling him without the honorific? Was he really so direct, but it did bring his attention back.
“Did you tell him you liked him?” Mew asked and he really wanted to keep the tremble in his voice out but he couldn’t. Gulf nodded and the other felt his heart sink. If he did, why was Gulf still sitting in his lap, it shouldn’t be the place anymore, or was he rejected. Did his nong need comfort?
“I don’t think he understood me, and I tried to tell him in other ways too. And I asked my parents and friends how they would tell someone they like someone. But I would like to know how you would tell someone that you like them,” Gulf said and it was in a speed that he usually didn’t use.
Mew smiled but it was a bit painful. Ah, it seemed that he was in a friendzone. Well, as long as nong was happy he would be happy too. He closed his eyes and sighed. “I don’t know. I have never been lucky in love. Last time I just kissed the person I liked. It ended up going terribly wrong and I-”
Mew couldn’t finish his bad advice because there was something pressing against his lips. And he knew even if he never opened his eyes. He kissed back, chasing after Gulf when he pulled away. But no word was shared between them.
They were kissing again when Mew pulled Gulf closer. The younger left one hand on the other’s chest and the other left to weave into dark hair. Noses brushed against each other as they turned their heads to get comfortable.
There was a little sound but Mew didn’t know who’s it was. He opened his lips, taking Gulf’s plump lower one between his, suckling as if he had always known it was this sweet. Their bodies moved closer too. A dance, that soon started to involve tongues and it was Gulf that moaned for sure this time.
Mew’s mind might have been blank for the first time he could remember. Only pleasure, his body on fire and it was just a kiss. More, he needed more, tongues running against each other. The veins on Mew’s hands were popping off his skin when he tried to get Gulf closer.
They had to pull back just to pant, one, two breathes and then they were kissing again. Teeth clicking because they were hungry for more. Before Mew knew it was too much and he wouldn’t be able to hold back.
He softened his lips again. Kissing lips that were red and swollen. Gulf giggled, putting his forehead against Mew’s. “So is this the only way to tell you?” the younger’s hand was on his cheek and curling over a sharp jaw.
Mew hoped, finally getting his mind back. could this be true, was it really him? Did Gulf beat him to it? He didn’t care about the details. Gulf kissed him, that was what mattered. He was on cloud nine, as the doorbell rang.
That had to be their food, and Gulf took a moment before getting up to open the door. Mew was too weak anyways to stop him. And when he could breathe again he chuckled to himself, losing at his own game it seemed. But then again he was never a very good player in the first place and the second price didn’t seem all that bad.
He stood up and walked to the little runaway hearing him thank the delivering man. He closed the door just as Mew trapped him between the wood and his arms. Gulf didn’t fight him when Mew pressed his lips back on his.
Again, breathless, panting and then kissing again. Mew lowered himself a little just to lift Gulf in the air, careless about the bag of food that hit his back when the younger threw his arms around his shoulders.
But now with the higher ground, the younger pulled back to look down on his new lover. “Phi, I’m hungry, lets eat first.” He said between delightful giggles. Mew chuckled as he spotted how beautiful Gulf was with his blush over his bread cheeks.
That was true, they could eat first and then they had the whole night to kiss some more ―a lifetime even. After all, that was what the stars had aligned for.