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Zhongli created [Chat]

[Chat] June 25 2021, 12:46 pm

Zhongli changed the chat name to [Senior Staff]

Zhongli added 5 users to [Senior Staff]

Zhongli: Hello. Ganyu and Xiao decided to buy me a cellular telephone as a gift and suggested that a "group chat" between the staff of Camp Teyvat would be beneficial. I thought I'd get your opinions on the matter. -Zhongli

Lisa: oh my archons they actually did it

Baizhu: the madlads lol

Jean: I think that's a lovely idea, Zhongli! The radios we usually use were getting quite old, this may be very helpful!

Zhongli: Thank you for your input, Jean. I will work on gathering the information for the rest of the staff. If you have any concerns about this summer please feel free to contact me. -Zhongli

Baizhu: he knows he doesn't have to sign his texts right

Lisa: it's harmless so just let him be 

Jean: I can hardly believe the summer is almost here! Oh I just can't wait to see you all again tonight

Baal: we go to the same university.

Jean: It's not the same as working with you all! I missed you

Baizhu: that's our jeanie always all sentimental

Jean: You say that as if you're not excited to be back as well

Baizhu: going from med student to summer camp medic oh joy

Lisa: you didn't need to come back

Baizhu: this pays better than McDonald's

Lisa: so you say

Jean: Everyone has the same position as last summer, right?

Ningguang: not exactly

Baal: oh great he promoted you.

Jean: Ningguang! Congratulations!

Ningguang: thank you Jean

Lisa: second summer at camp and already you're a department head look at you

Baizhu: impressive indeed

Ningguang: nonesense

Baal: accept the fucking compliments.

Ningguang: no

Jean: So you're covering Arts and Academics this summer, Ningguang?

Ningguang: apparently so

Lisa: guess I'll be seeing plenty of you then 

Baizhu: yes how lucky spending the summer indoors in the library

Ningguang: air conditioning my beloved

Lisa: lmao did Beidou teach you that one

Ningguang: yes she did

Baizhu: doing archons work lol

Jean: Oh, she's coming back too, right? I don't think the Athletics department would be the same without her!

Ningguang: she's more excited to be back than I am

Lisa: that sounds like Beidou alright

Baizhu: even as a camper she was always so excited for the summer lol

Lisa: don’t act like you weren’t the same when we were that age

Baal: ha. old.

Lisa: watch your words you

Baal: or what.

Jean: Haha let’s change the subject!

Jean: Perhaps Zhongli is almost done creating the Staff chat?

Ningguang: good luck with that he’s pitifully slow with technology

Baal: how the fuck do you know that.

Ningguang: we shared nearly half of our classes bastard

Jean: Right, it’s kind of hard to believe that someone a year younger than us is in the year above, I guess

Ningguang: so it seems

Lisa: Zhongli is rather bad with anything made in the last twenty years lmao

Lisa: that’s why we call him grandpa

Ningguang: rather than type his essays he did them all on a typewriter

Baizhu: the commitment

Jean: That does seem like him, alright

Lisa: i’m surprised Ganyu and Xiao managed to get him to use a phone at all

Baizhu: the power they hold is incredible

 

Zhongli created [Chat]

[Chat] June 25 2021, 1:32 pm

Zhongli changed the chat name to [Staff]

Zhongli added 22 users to [Staff]

Zhongli: Hello. This chat was created in the hopes of increasing the bond between the staff of Camp Teyvat, while improving the speed of communication. Final positions will be determined on Monday, at the end of the training weekend that begins tomorrow. If anyone is still in need of a ride, feel free to contact me. Otherwise I will see you all tonight. -Zhongli

Venti: SUMMER WOOOOO

Kaeya: WERE BACK FUCK YEAH

Hu Tao: im so excited to see everyone tonight its gonna be so poggers

Diluc: is it too late for me to quit?

Jean: Yes

Childe: cant wait to meet the newbies 

Childe: i love messing with the fresh meat

Albedo: You do know that we’re already in this group, right?

Kaeya: ASJDHBALS get him

Beidou: serves him right lmao

Thoma: Are we bullying Childe? That’s always fun

Childe: no!

Venti: yes

Thoma: Understood! 

Thoma: He looks like Walmart Ed Sheran

Childe: i do not!!!

Kaeya: crusty version

Hu Tao: looks like a failed abortion

Childe: STOP IT

Keqing: Is this how it usually is? 

Rosaria: yes

Lisa: now now lets leave poor Childe alone for now

Lisa: we wouldn’t want to scare off any of the newbies

Albedo: Don’t mind me, this is fascinating

Mona: what an odd way to phrase that,

Yae: You say that as if you don’t speak strangely from time to time

Mona: what is this betrayal, Yae

Mona: this will cost you

Yanfei: ooh another fight! I wonder what the outcome will be!

Mona: the cost being 200 mora

Yanfei: ...oh

Thoma: Classic Mona, always in need of mora

Mona: this is slander

Mona: which will cost you

Thoma: Yes yes I know

Baal: get off your phone in my van.

Thoma: Yes ma’am!

Kaeya: wait youve already left

Baal: we’re leaving now. i have thoma yae and kokomi with me.

Ganyu: Zhongli is just about to leave as well! We still have some room left for anyone that needs a ride!

Baizhu: getting a drive from the safest man on the road, the smartest plan lol

Hu Tao: ill be there in a minute!!

Yanfei: This trip is going to be epic! 

Mona: who has aux

Ganyu: Xiao

Venti: XIAO!

Kaeya: uh oh lmao

Childe: his taste in music is worse than dilucs 

Diluc: I can refuse to take you you know

Childe: sorry ur music is great

Venti: heheh

Venti: XIAO XIAO

Rosaria: this is pretty pathetic to watch

Venti: XIAO I KNOW UR HERE

Eula: Venti, your spam is causing my phone to act out. I will have vengeance for this offence!

Venti: sure whatever

Venti: bUT XIAO PLEASE

Venti: XIAO XIAO XIAO

Xiao: cut it out dumbass

Xiao: hi or whatever 

Venti: hey

Kaeya: anyone else smell something fruity

Diluc: other than yourself?

Kaeya: dear brother i have never tried to hide the fact that im gay

Diluc: clearly

Venti: cant wait to see you tonight xiao!

Xiao: sure whatever

Jean: For anyone traveling with Lisa and I, we are leaving shortly! Please make sure you’re at the location we agreed on soon, I’d hate to have to leave you behind

Mona: nearly there

Eula: I will arrive in just a minute. If the centre seat is taken upon my arrival, rest assured, that vengeance will be mine!

Albedo: Very interesting. A window seat will suffice for me

Jean: Does everyone else have a ride?

Diluc: I’m taking the idiot troupe and Rosaria

Childe: its gonna be epic

Venti: my roadtrip playlist is ready to bop

Rosaria: if I have to listen to more than two pitbull songs I will push Childe out of the car

Childe: why me!?

Rosaria: you have the fruitiest scream

Childe: but im not gay

Mona: is he being serious right now?

Kaeya: poor man is delusional

Venti: were working on it

Childe: no? were not?

Jean: So that leaves three. Beidou? Ningguang? Keqing?

Keqing: I’m supposed to get a ride from Beidou and Ningguang

Keqing: They seem to be running late though

Lisa: oh my i do wonder why this may be~

Jean: Oh dear

Baizhu: i’m going to bite the bullet

Lisa: yes please do

Baizhu: @Beidou @Ningguang y’all are late

Lisa: and just a few seconds now

Keqing: What is happening?

Venti: something glorious

Beidou: oh shit-

Lisa: and why are you running late dear

Beidou: uhm we were saying goodbye to my brother?

Hu Tao: why is that a question lmao

Beidou: uh

Ningguang: my apologies Keqing

Ningguang: we will be there to pick you up shortly

Keqing: Thanks?

Kaeya: they were totally making out

Childe: for sure

Lisa: using your brother to lie how low

Beidou: hey

Beidou: in my defense it did take some time to say goodbye

Ningguang: stop texting and drive fool we’re already late

Kaeya: ugh brothers suck

Venti: diluc is threatening to leave him on the side of the road lmao

Ningguang: Beidou wants me to tell you she’s flipping you off

Childe: kaeya dumbass hours ahaha

Hu Tao: youd know about those lmao stupid

Childe: SHUT

Ganyu: You’re alright, Ningguang? You and Beidou?

Ningguang: yes Ganyu we’re fine we just lost track of time

Lisa: making out~

Ningguang: Keqing we’re here

Baizhu: she didn’t deny it lol

Rosaria: i work with a bunch of middle schoolers

Ganyu: Zhongli wants me to remind everyone that once we arrive at the camp there will be a short meeting! Afterwards we’ll all be able to settle down in our cabins for the night

Jean: And a full nights sleep is highly recommended! We have a long weekend of training ahead of us!

Venti: hehe sure

Hu Tao: right to bed gotcha

Childe: full nights sleep hear u loud n clear

Kaeya: no other plans here lmao

Mona: okay theyre clearly lying

Jean: I’m sure Zhongli planned in advance for them, so don’t worry

Jean: I can’t wait to see everyone tonight! I just know this summer is going to be absolutely amazing!

 

[Staff] June 25 2021, 8:11 pm

Zhongli: Thank you for attending tonight’s meeting. I have high hopes for this summer. As mentioned in our meeting, the department heads will send a list of the counsellors working with them in this chat in case anyone missed it. Other than that you can find your cabin assignments posted on the door of the staff building. Have a good night, I will see you all in the morning. -Zhongli

Yae: He’s still doing that I see

Baizhu: i doubt he’ll ever stop lol

Ganyu: I suggest that we hold off on texting until the heads have finished sending their lists? 

Albedo: That seems like the smartest course of action

Jean: Hey everyone, I’m Jean and I’m in charge of Athletics! Working with me this summer are Beidou, Eula, Kaeya, and Kokomi! 

Baal: baal. regulations. diluc keqing rosaria yanfei.

Ningguang: I am the head of Arts and Academics which covers Albedo Mona Venti and Yae

Lisa: librarian Lisa here~ the bossman asked me to send out the group counsellors~ Thoma and Hu Tao with group A~ Xiao and Ganyu with group B~ and Childe with group C~

Baizhu: and i’m the camp medic lol

Kaeya: ATHLETICS GANG

Beidou: WOOP WOOP

Eula: Hooray.

Kokomi: I’m glad to be joining your team for the summer

Venti: haha childe is alone

Childe: that just means zhongli trusts me

Rosaria: or no one wanted to work with you

Hu Tao: thoma!

Thoma: Hu Tao!

Hu Tao: THOMA!

Thoma: HU TAO!

Ganyu: I see group A’s staff are getting along well

Hu Tao: ooh is someone jealous

Ganyu: Not at all! I’m partnered with my brother after all

Xiao: no one gets along better than us

Thoma: We’ll see about that!

Venti: oh xiao i cant wait for group b to come for music blocks

Hu Tao: what about group a bestie

Childe: yeah and c

Venti: sure i guess

Mona: he’s rather obvious

Albedo: Indeed.

Yae: Clear as a bell

Diluc: hold on a minute what the hell are these cabins

Zhongli: Cabins were decided randomly. I drew numbers from a hat for everyone and assigned them as such. All cabins are final. -Zhongli

Diluc: no please change them

Venti: how rude diluc

Venti: and i considered us friends

Diluc: even Kaeya is better than him

Kaeya: guys did you see that my brother loves me after all

Hu Tao: ooh ganyu its me and you!

Ganyu: That makes sense, since we’re both group counsellors

Childe: YEAH PARTY CABIN

Xiao: no

Mona: poor Xiao oof

Xiao: I want to change

Thoma: I’ll take one of the spots on the bunk bed! Childe, wanna take the top?

Kaeya: i think hed prefer the bottom lmao

Hu Tao: pfft

Childe: hey

Childe: ill take the top thank u very much

Venti: hes compensating hehe

Keqing: Are Beidou and Ningguang allowed to share? 

Keqing: Since I assume they’re together

Lisa: nothing says they can’t

Beidou: yeah and it was random

Ningguang: completely random

Mona: something seems off here and I can’t tell what yet

Yae: Ammateur

Mona: that will cost you

Yanfei: Hey if you’d like I can keep a record of every transaction for you Mona! You won’t be short changed on my watch!

Mona: r really?

Yanfei: Absolutely!

Mona: a guardian angel has shined her light upon me

Yanfei: For a price, of course!

Mona: of course the angel was a demon in disguise

Beidou: damn shot down so fast

Kaeya: tragic

Yanfei: 10 percent of your earnings sounds fair

Baal: quit heckling over petty things.

Rosaria: finally a voice of reason

Zhongli: Everyone should be getting ready for bed. Any disturbances caused tonight will be dealt with by one of the regulations staff. If severe enough, Baal will take care of the issue herself. We only have two days to prepare for the arrival of the campers, so rest well. -Zhongli

Diluc: the world has it out for me

Xiao: I know the feeling

Venti: you two could always do a little switcheroo

Xiao: against the rules

Diluc: unfortunately

Kaeya: i bet ventis pouting lmao

Beidou: lmao simp

Venti: says you

Beidou: oh i know i am

Beidou: im proud of it

Ningguang: you flatter me so

Eula: The height of romance.

Hu Tao: hashtag lesbian goals lmao

Childe: gross

Venti: does childe is homophobic

Kaeya: the answer may surprsie you

Diluc: surprise dumbass

Childe: fuck u guys thats not what i meant

Beidou: and i thought we were friends

Childe: IM NOT HOMOPHOBIC

Hu Tao: sounds like something a homophobe would say

Childe: SHUT UP SHUT UP

Childe: I WAS TALKING ABOUT OUR CABIN ITS GROSS

Thoma: It’s not that bad?

Xiao: it’s literally the same as the others

Albedo: Perhaps Childe is used to living in a certain degree of luxury? And presented with a situation below that has made him upset

Kaeya: AHSHAK 

Hu Tao: GET HIS ASS

Beidou: haha childe is throwing a karen fit

Rosaria: ed sheran karen looking ass

Childe: NO STOP IT

Childe: IM NOT A KAREN

Venti: sure karen

Childe: IM GONNA PISS ON ALL UR SHIT

Childe: I HATE YOU ALL

Baal: if i were you i’d take those words back.

Childe: yes maam sorry maam

Baal: bed. Now.

Childe: yes maam

Jean: That goes for everyone! See you all in the morning!

 

[Staff] June 27 2021, 7:37 pm

Kaeya: man am i glad the weekend is over

Hu Tao: training gets worse every year i swear

Lisa: how cute~

Zhongli: Good evening. The campers arrive tomorrow morning. Your assignments for tomorrow morning are as follows. Some of Regulations will meet the campers at the buses and escort them to the dining hall. Arts and Academics will be waiting there to sort them into their groups. The rest of Regulations will escort them to their cabins where their group counsellors will take over. Athletics will empty the gear from the buses. It will all be marked. Camp activities begin the next day. Please direct any questions towards your department heads. -Zhongli

Childe: epic

Ganyu: It sounds like tomorrow is going to be a long day

Jean: All the more means to rest well tonight!

Hu Tao: man we cant catch a break

Beidou: you lot are literally doing the least work tomorrow

Childe: oh like carrying a few bags is hard work

Beidou: i’d like to see you try noodle arms

Eula: A formal challenge has been issued. How do you respond, Childe?

Childe: uh

Venti: hes gonna chicken out i know it

Childe: NO I WONT

Mona: he knows he can’t beat Beidou so he’s not even gonna try

Childe: I CAN BEAT HER

Kaeya: aw look hes delusional again

Diluc: big word for you

Kaeya: not now brother i need to witness this

Beidou: if youre so sure you can beat me accept the challenge

Childe: i dont have to this is pier pressure

Yae: Peer pressure. Stupid

Beidou: chicken man chicken man

Childe: AM NOT

Beidou: prove it

Childe: FINE I ACCEPT

Xiao: dumbass doesn’t even know what the challenge is yet

Venti: ehe hes so dumb

Lisa: Baizhu why dont you pick the challenge

Baizhu: how generous of you to offer Lisa dear

Baizhu: hmm how about running from the camp sign to the campers cabins

Lisa: i think ten laps sounds fair

Baizhu: but what should they carry

Childe: just ten laps

Childe: i could carry a whole ass person for that and longer heh

Lisa: bingo

Baizhu: thanks for the idea

Childe: what now

Keqing: What a dumbass

Lisa: you’ll each carry a person of your choice

Hu Tao: ooh hes done it now

Venti: rip childe ed sheran crusty musty homophobe karen he didnt even get to come out

Kaeya: yeah theres no way hes winning

Childe: cmon guys have some faith in me

Eula: It would be very stupid to even consider you’d win.

Childe: hey!

Beidou: who’re you carrying ginger boy

Albedo: If he picks someone too light he’ll only look like a coward. If he picks someone too heavy he’ll lose for sure. An interesting crossroads

Childe: I WONT LOSE

Childe: I PICK THOMA

Thoma: Cool

Beidou: ning?

Ningguang: why not?

Beidou: hell yeah

Diluc: Childe is fucked

Rosaria: i hope he cries

Mona: anyone want to bet on this? 

Mona: anyone think childe stands a chance?

Yae: Crickets.

Childe: YOULL ALL SEE

Beidou: as for the terms of our challenge

Yanfei: WAIT I’LL PUT IT IN WRITING!

Beidou: if you win i’ll dye my hair ginger

Ningguang: hang on now

Ningguang: think about what you're saying

Hu Tao: thats a pretty high stake ngl

Beidou: and if i win you’ll do anything i ask for the summer

Childe: HOW IS THAT FAIR

Ningguang: silence rat

Ningguang: she’s been more than generous look at all she has to lose

Keqing: And if you’re that confident you’ll win there should be no issue

Venti: unless youre chicken chicken

Childe: DEAL

Baizhu: in that case the challenge will begin in five minutes

Lisa: see you all at the sign

 

[Staff] June 27 2021, 8:02 pm

Rosaria: that ended rather quick

Xiao: and literally no one is surprised at the result

Thoma: Well he tried?

Kaeya: he was still on lap 6 when beidou finished

Beidou: not too shabby

Childe: 

Hu Tao: LMAO HES SPEECHLESS

Mona: dumbass

Beidou: i wonder what ill make him do first

Jean: Nothing illegal

Thoma: Oh hey Jean

Keqing: You didn’t want to stop them?

Jean: Even I knew I couldn’t

Childe: my honour

Yae: Serves you right

Ningguang: you did rather well Beidou

Beidou: yeah?

Ningguang: mhm

Ganyu: Oh dear

Yanfei: Wait what’s happening

Ningguang: i’m feeling awful tired all of a sudden

Rosaria: you didnt even do anything

Beidou: yeah im pretty beat after that race 

Lisa: here it comes

Beidou: we should probably turn in for the night right ning

Ningguang: it’s probably for the best

Yanfei: Oh I see now

Jean: Everyone else should consider turning in as well! You’ll need your energy for tomorrow

Venti: ugh its gonna suck

Kaeya: worst day of the summer confirmed

Diluc: it hasn’t happened yet smartass

Childe: worst summer ever

Chapter Text

[Staff] June 28 2021, 10:26 am

Venti: and thats when i decided i had enough and kicked him in the balls

Kaeya: damn bro what happened next

Venti: he asked me out

Jean: The first bus has arrived! All staff to their stations!

Jean:

Jean: Venti you said no right

Venti: ehe

Jean: Venti,

Childe: look if a man degraded me for an hour then asked me out after i beat his shit even i would jump on that wagon

Hu Tao: so you admit youre gay

Childe: no im straight that was the point

Beidou: this is sad

Ganyu: Wait Jean did you say there’s a bus already here?

Jean: Yes! Rosaria and Keqing are slowly leading them to the main hall. Is double A ready to accept them?

Ningguang: other than Venti yes

Venti: hey dont call me out

Albedo: She wouldn’t have to if you were ready

Mona: get his ass

Venti: toxic ass work environment

Yae: Would you rather work in Regulations?

Venti: fuck no

Beidou: hey this bus only had like six kids on it the fuck

Ganyu: The rental company accidentally gave us more buses than Zhongli asked for, and letting them sit around would have been a waste

Childe: thats annoying as hell

Diluc: just like you

Kaeya: BUUUURN

Jean: Kaeya, please help transport the bags. Beidou volunteered to take two, so it’ll take one trip if you do your part

Thoma: Beidou wasn’t done flexing on Childe I see

Hu Tao: lmao rip the hettie

Kaeya: wait a minute these bags only have names on them

Jean: That’s correct. It seems we’ve run into an issue

Lisa: how about you send the names here

Ganyu: Ah, yes! We already have our group lists, so we’ll be able to tell you which bags go where!

Eula: A brilliant idea. I will make sure my vengeance is served swiftly. Where should I deliver the bag belonging to Xinyan?

Ganyu: She’s with me! Cabin B-2

Kokomi: I have one for a Noelle?

Jean: It seems I have Sucrose’s baggage

Kaeya: this one says amber

Hu Tao: all three for a 2!

Beidou: and i’ve got klee and xiangling

Ganyu: Xiangling is another of mine, and I believe Klee is with group C, right Childe?

Chidle: huh

Childe: uh sure

Albedo: I see.

Albedo: Childe. If my sister is harmed even a little your liver will be mine.

Childe: archons fuck

Thoma: Oh! Klee’s your sister Albedo?

Albedo: That she is

Mona: i can’t wait to watch Childe lose his liver

Childe: IM RESPONSIBLE I WONT LET THE KIDS GET HURT

Baal: diluc and yanfei are bringing them to their cabins now.

Thoma: I can’t wait to meet our first campers!

Xiao: yay

Lisa: just in time for bus number 2~

Rosaria: already

Venti: there is truly no rest for us

Kaeya: youre sitting indoors

Venti: talking uses energy dipshit

Diluc: yeah dumbass

Kaeya: hey leave me alone

Jean: More bags are ready! Only four this time

Jean: We have bags for Razor, Chongyun, Ayaka, and Sayu!

Thoma: Razor’s in A 1! And Ayaka in A 2

Xiao: chongyun in b 1 

Childe: uh i got sayu i think

Hu Tao: homophobe cant do his job right

Childe: IM NOT HOMOPHOBIC

Venti: he is but its all internalized lmao

Beidou: he’ll come out one day

Ningguang: you have a lot of faith in the man who thought he and his twig arms could beat you

Mona: haha twig arms

Baizhu: i think we should lay off of mr childe for a little bit

Rosaria: what else are we supposed to do

Jean: Your jobs?

Yae: What about while we wait for the next bus?

Venti: i could continue my tale

Keqing: NO.

Jean: Do not

Baal: i will churn your blood into butter if you do.

Venti: damn message received

Jean: Why don’t we talk about how our years were?

Eula: Brilliant idea Jean. I will begin.

Yanfei: Why do I have a bad feeling about this

 

[Staff] June 28 2021, 5:39 pm

Eula: And that marks the end of March. Though the previous month was rather exciting, April came in with a vengeance.

Ganyu: Oh my

Zhongli: Hello. The last of our campers have arrived. I will lead them through the steps myself as their attendance here is under special circumstances. Lisa, Baizhu, please head to the camp sign to answer any questions their guardian may have. Thoma, Ganyu, they will be joining you shortly. -Zhongli

Kaeya: oh thank fuck

Thoma: That explains the situation with the last name on my list!

Lisa: ooh and this guardian of theirs is very mysterious~

Baizhu: what strange circumstances indeed

Ningguang: I do wonder what could be special enough to warrant Zhongli address it himself

Mona: a real mystery oh my

Yae: Don’t go all murder podcast without me

 

Thoma created [Chat]

[Chat] June 28 2021, 5:52 pm

Thoma changed the chat name to [Group A!!]

Thoma added 10 users to [Group A!!]

Thoma made Hu Tao an admin

Hu Tao: WASSUP CAMPERS

Thoma: Welcome to Camp Teyvat! Since all of you let us know that you brought your phones on your forms, we thought it would be fun to have a groupchat just for group A!

Hu Tao: yep! as your group leaders me and thoma will make this the funnest summer ever!

Noelle: Oh! How exciting!

Thoma: That’s the spirit! How about we all go around and introduce ourselves?

Hu Tao: amazing idea partner

Hu Tao: you should go first show em how its done

Thoma: Gladly! Hey guys I’m Thoma, one of your group leaders! I’m 19 and I have a dog back home named Taroumaru

Hu Tao: and im hu tao! im nearly 18 and my favourite type of movie is horror!!

Thoma: Let’s go in the numbered order we discussed earlier, for rollcall

Aether: does that mean its my turn?

Hu Tao: righto

Aether: cool uhm im Aether im 16 and i have a younger twin sister named Lumine

Aether: was that good?

Thoma: That was perfect, pal!

Amber: Hey there! My name’s Amber, I’m currently 15, and my grandpa breeds bunnies!

Hu Tao: wait really

Hu Tao: dont they fuck a lot

Barbara: Oh my- are you allowed to cuss around us?

Hu Tao: as long as no one snitches

Amber: I mean some do? But we breed race bunnies, the fastest in the world!

Aether: racing bunnies is a thing?

Sucrose: interesting!

Thoma: Wow alright then

Thoma: Uh, Barbara you’re up next

Barbara: Barbara here! At the moment I am 15, and I like to sing in my spare time!

Thoma: That’s lovely! You’re Jean’s sister, right

Barbara: Yes, I am

Hu Tao: ooh 

Noelle: Hello everyone, my name is Noelle. I’m sixteen, and I like to keep things clean!

Aether: like a janitor?

Bennett: asdlhbvaofhbv

Noelle: Not quite,

Thoma: Aether buddy, oh archons,

Aether: oh uh sorry Noelle

Noelle: It’s quite alright!

Hu Tao: this group is such a hoot!

Hu Tao: whos next i wanna meet more of you

Sucrose: i believe i’m next

Sucrose: i’m Sucrose, age 15, i want to go into botany

Thoma: Oh like plants and stuff? 

Hu Tao: thats so swag

Ayaka: Greetings, my name is Kamisato Ayaka, though you may call me Ayaka. I’m currently 15, and I take dance lessons twice a week.

Razor: hh

Thoma: Take your time buddy

Razor: bwwf

Bennett: you got this rAzor!

Razor: name,; razor;; 14>> ; like meeatt

Hu Tao: well done razor

Barbara: Good job!

Bennett: i like maet too! so cool1

Thoma: I think it’s your turn now lmao

Bennett: oh! Riht!

Bennett: my nme is beNnett im 15 and i want to travel the word!

Bennett: world

Bennett: sory my keyboard does’nt work sometmes

Thoma: Hey it’s all good!

Hu Tao: only one left

Fischl: Greetings and blessings be upon thee, oh mortals, for it is I, Fischl, Prinzessin der Verurteilung! According to thine mortal rules of aging I have lived for fifteen years. I have roamed countless worlds and galaxies, coming to be within thine own now to best mine own enemy, that which thou call Reality!

Aether: oh wow

Fischl: Mine most precious companion, with whom I did depart, I miss him dearly. Ozvaldo von Hrafnavines, my dear Oz, a raven born of the night from our world of origin

Hu Tao:

Bennett: so coool!

Thoma: Wow uh

Thoma: What a fine group we have this summer

Hu Tao: its gonna be a great one i know it

 

Ganyu created [Chat]

[Chat] Jun 28 2021, 5:49 pm

Ganyu changed the chat name to [Group B]

Ganyu added 10 users to [Group B]

Ganyu made Xiao an admin

Ganyu: Welcome to Camp Teyvat, Group B! I’m so excited to spend a wonderful summer getting to know all of you!

Ganyu: Before we do anything else, I think it’s best we get to know each other a little! What do you all think?

Xiangling: that sounds amazing!

Yoimiya: AWESOME!!!!

Chongyun: Sounds like a cool idea

Ganyu: Perfect! I’ll go first as an example, followed by my partner, your second group leader. After us, we’ll have you all go in order of our attendance list

Xiangling: makes sense to me!

Ganyu: My name is Ganyu, one of your group leaders. I’m eighteen years old, and I have an older brother and a younger brother!

Xiao: you can call me xiao. i’m 18. i like quiet things.

Ganyu: There are your examples! I believe that Lumine will be going next?

Lumine: apparently so

Lumine: i’m Lumine and i’m 16. my brother and i are competitive fencers

Yoimiya: Oh wow that’s so cool!!

Lumine: it’s just something we do i guess

Xiangling: i bet you two are amazing!

Ganyu: I believe so too. Yoimiya, why don’t you take your turn?

Yoimiya: Whoops! My bad aha

Xiao: just get on with it

Yoimiya: I’m Yoimiya, and I’m 16! My family makes fireworks, and I’m next in line to take over the business!!

Xinyan: oh wow that sounds epic!

Yoimiya: Mhm!! Oh I just love fireworks so much

Gorou: I believe its my turn? Im Gorou, age 15, and Im a wrestler

Ganyu: Looks like we have quite the sporty bunch this year! I’m sure the Athletics staff will be thrilled

Xiao: sara. you’re next

Sara: Affirmative. Sara, 15. I spend my free time practicing archery.

Xiangling: that’s amazing! archery is so cool!

Sara: I share that sentiment.

Xinyan: my turn! Xinyan here, and im 14! i love everything rock, rock music that is! ive been teaching myself guitar this year

Yoimiya: You’re self taught?! That’s so cool!!!!

Ganyu: Impressive indeed! I’m sure you’ll enjoy the blocks we have set aside for music this summer!

Xiao: even if the counsellor is annoying

Ganyu: Everyone is doing great so far! Next up should be Chongyun

Chongyun: Hello everyone my name is Chongyun. I’m 14 years old, and my parents are traveling ghost hunters

Xingqiu: so you believe in ghosts

Chongyun: Very much so. Some spirits get lost on their way to the afterlife, and it is a ghost hunter’s job to help them finish their journey

Xingqiu: i see

Xingqiu: very interesting

Xiangling: something feels off here

Xingqiu: that makes it my turn now

Xingqiu: i am xingqiu. i am 14 and i love literature

Xinyan: finally a nerd

Xingqiu: i will disembowel you with a marble

Ganyu: Woah there, none of that!

Xiao: get along

Xinyan: sorry lil lady

Xingqiu: im a boy

Yoimiya: Really?

Xingqiu: yes???

Xiangling: you just look really dainty lmao

Sara: If I breathe too hard you’d fall over.

Xingqiu: no i wouldnt shut up

Ganyu: Okay that’s enough of that! Leave Xingqiu alone, please

Ganyu: How about we continue with Xiangling?

Xiangling: oh thats me! my name is Xiangling and im 14! i love cooking and one day im going to be a famous chef, the most famous chef of them all!

Lumine: how famous is that really?

Xiangling: suuuuper famous!

Lumine: sure

Xiao: last one let’s go.

Kazuha: Apologies for making you wait

Kazuha: My name is Kazuha, I’m fourteen, and I enjoy poetry. I wish to travel and write a poem about each place I visit

Gorou: That sounds so cool

Xingqiu: while i find poetry to be the weakest form of writing

Lumine: wow just going right for the throat aren’t you

Xingqiu: i have to respect a fellow scholar of the literary arts

Kazuha: Thank you?

Xinyan: hey poetry is kinda like song writin, yeah?

Kazuha: In a way

Kazuha: Many songs that are deemed classics are simply old poetry put to music

Yoimiya: Oh wow that’s cool!

Xiangling: i never knew that woah

Ganyu: This is a very promising group! I have good feelings about how our summer will go, don’t you, Xiao?

Xiao: sure

 

Childe created [Chat]

[Chat] June 28 2021, 5:56 pm

Childe changed the chat name to [c]

Childe added 4 users to [c]

Childe: why do u all have phones

Sayu: why do you think weatherboy

Childe: hey u cant speak to me that way

Sayu: i just answered your question

Klee: MY BIG BROTHER ALBEDO GAVE ME HIS OLD PHONE WHILE WERE AWAY FROM HOME

Klee: THERES A COLOURING GAME ON IT

Childe: why are u using all caps 

Klee: KLEE DOESNT UNDERSTAND

Qiqi: Qiqi’s brother said she should have one in case of

Qiqi: of

Qiqi: Qiqi forgot,

Diona: emergency?

Qiqi: Yes thank you

Childe: wait which one of you is the furry

Diona: I’M NOT A FURRY

Diona: I’m the leader of the ThunderClan

Childe: the what

Diona: As if you’d know kittypet

Childe: hey u cant call me a slur

Klee: WHATS A SLUR

Childe: nothing

Klee: KLEE WANTS ONE

Diona: I want one now too

Sayu: gimme a slur

Childe: no u cant have slurs

Diona: I’m telling my big brothers you’re being mean to us

Childe: whatever they cant do anything

Qiqi: Is a slur like cocogoat milk?

Childe: i dont know what that is

Klee: KLEE WANTS A SLUR

Sayu: give us slurs ginger

Childe: NO UR NOT GETTING SLURS

Childe: AND STOP CALLING ME NAMES

Sayu: but your name isnt even a name

Childe: excuse me

Sayu: im not calling you that

Childe: fine use my other name tartaglia

Sayu: tortilla

Childe:

Childe: just call me ajax

Klee: AJAX KLEE WANTS A SLUR

Childe: NO

Childe: SLURS

Diona: telling my brothers now

Childe: boo hoo thats not gonna do anything

 

[Staff] June 28 2021, 6:18 pm

Diluc: @Childe why the fuck is my sister texting me that youre shouting at her

Childe: who what now

Kaeya: yeah shes been telling me that youre being really mean 

Childe: whats happening

Beidou: what did mr musty do now

Albedo: Yes. What did you do.

Childe: LITERALLY NOTHING IM CONFUSED

Diluc: thats not what Diona says

Childe: SHES UR SISTER

Kaeya: duh what are you stupid

Rosaria: he is

Kaeya: oh yeah right

Childe: IM NOT BEING MEAN I SWEAR

Baizhu: i do hope that i won’t have to check in on my darling Qiqi already

Eula: It seems that Childe has himself backed into a corner. This is where he shall draw his final breaths.

Venti: id say rip but hes not leaving in one piece lmao

Childe: IM NOT DYING I DIDNT DO ANYTHING

Diluc: explain yourself

Childe: look they keep asking me to give them slurs and im not gonna do that

Mona: how do they know what slurs are

Childe:

Ningguang: ah here we go

Childe: the cat one called me something and i thot it was a slur

Kaeya: SHE CALLED YOU A KITTYPET DIDNT SHE ADHVLD

Childe: WHAT IS THAT

Baal: you are utterly pathetic.

Diluc: whatever just change the subject with them

Diluc: if i get another message about you torturing my sister i will shove your foot so far down your throat it comes out your ass

Childe: OKAY I GOT IT

Yae: That was kinda sad to watch

Venti: haha childe lost to a group of toddlers 

Albedo: A funny visual, but ultimately false

Albedo: Childe has lost a battle of wits against a group of third graders

Beidou: i think thats funnier actually

Rosaria: youre not alone

 

[c] June 28 2021, 6:24 pm

Childe: HEY LETS DO INTRODUCTIONS

Sayu: no thanks

Childe: not an option

Childe: im ajax im 19 and im in charge here

Childe: milk girl go

Qiqi: Qiqi’s name is Qiqi. Qiqi is 10. Qiqi likes cocogoat milk

Childe: still dont know what that is

Childe: caps girl go

Klee: IM KLEE IM 9 YEARS OLD AND I LIKE THINGS THAT GO BOOM AND DODOCO

Childe: no idea what that is either

Childe: furry your turn

Diona: I’M NOT A FURRY

Diona: I’m Diona but my clan know me as Froststar. In human years I’m 10. When I grow up I’m going to get rid of all alcohol!

Childe: good luck with that

Childe: sassy one go

Sayu: im sayu and im 10

Sayu: i like the stories about the tanuki

Childe: great were done

Klee: CAN WE GET SLURS NOW

Childe: 

Childe: THE FLOOR IS LAVA

 

[Senior Staff] June 28 2021, 8:23 pm

Lisa: @Zhongli we need to talk

Zhongli: Oh? What is it that you wish to discuss with me, Lisa? -Zhongli

Baizhu: its not just her

Ningguang: we’d all like some clarification

Jean: Or at least, some more information

Zhongli: I see. I will do my best to share what I know about the issue you would like to speak about. -Zhongli

Lisa: whats the deal with those twins

Zhongli: I thought this was the direction you would take. -Zhongli

Baizhu: them and their mysterious guardian

Ningguang: what haven’t you told us Zhongli

Zhongli: I will tell you what I can, as little as it is. I cannot break the contract I signed, so I am afraid I cannot tell you everything. -Zhongli

Jean: We understand, and assumed as much. But we deserve what little you can offer us

Baizhu: who are Aether and Lumine

Ningguang: what are they doing here

Zhongli: Before I explain, I must ask you all to swear to never reveal anything I tell you tonight to anyone. The less people involved with this the better. No exceptions. -Zhongli

Lisa: deal

Jean: Agreed

Baizhu: understood

Ningguang: i swear

Zhongli: Good. Now allow me to explain. -Zhongli

Chapter Text

[Staff] June 29 2021, 3:11 am

Diluc: Venti where the fuck are you going

Diluc: its the middle ofthe fucking night get back ehre

Kaeya: lmao your spelling

Diluc: i was rudely awoken by that little twink bitch

Hu Tao: TWINK BICTH AYA

Diluc: the fact that all of you are awake is awfully suspicious

Childe: ive never done anything wrong ever

Hu Tao: shut up butter sweat

Childe: WHT DOEDS THAT EVEN MEN

Venti: you sweat butter cause youre so greasy lmao

Diluc: YOU

Venti: ehe

Diluc: WHERE AE YOU

Diluc: YOU WOKE ME UP I DESERVE TO KNOW

Kaeya: lmao hes having a stroke

Hu Tao: diluc death arc

Mona: what the fuck are you all doing up

Venti: what are YOU doing up

Mona: this is the best time to check the sky for my readings

Kaeya: three am

Mona: yes

Diluc: i demand an explanation

Hu Tao: but youll snitch

Diluc: Jean and Baal can read back in the chat theyll know you were up anyways

Kaeya: fuck hes right

Childe: party

Diluc: youre fucking kidding

Childe: its kinda lame ngl

Hu Tao: youre lame bitch

Childe: theres no alcohol

Diluc: that would be illegal

Childe: so

Mona: fucking dumbass

Kaeya: im having fun

Venti: yeah this is great

Childe: UR JUST BULLYING ME

Kaeya: exactly

Hu Tao: aya this was a great idea

Diluc: youre all gonna be in trouble in the morning

Hu Tao: worth it

Venti: you know what would make this even better

Kaeya: xiao

Hu Tao: xiao

Childe: porn and alcohol

Venti: lmao stop projecting

Mona: gross i demand compensation for having to read that

Childe: I WAS TRYING TO MAKE FUN OF VENTI

Kaeya: sure

Venti: but yes xiao would make this better

Hu Tao: what with his emo ass music

Hu Tao: hed play like mcr or something

Kaeya: or fucking growl

Venti: sounds hot

Childe: gross

Venti: stop being homophobic butter man

Mona: venti you have awful taste im going to bed

Kaeya: you simping for the rabid catboy has driven mona away lmao

Venti: haters gonna hate

Venti: i know im valid here

Hu Tao: lmao well see if your still saying that when xiao wakes up and reads up

Childe: HAHA GET FUCKED TWINK

Venti: you cant call me that straggott thats a slur for you

Venti: and xiao wouldnt read up he doesnt care that much

Kaeya: aight we gotta pretend the straight butter man doesnt exist today

Childe: WHAT WY

Hu Tao: you said a slur homophobe get fucked

Childe: no get back ehre

Childe: guys

Childe: GUYS

 

[Staff] June 29 2021, 7:26 am

Baal: great now i have to do work.

Keqing: Wait so they just

Keqing: Woke up at 3 am to go sit in the woods like idiots?

Yae: This is rather tame for them

Thoma: Hu Tao you didn’t invite me?

Xiao: he’s pouting

Hu Tao: aya im sorry partner!!

Hu Tao: i wantedyou to get a full rest

Thoma: Oh how sweet of you!

Yanfei: Damn that save

Jean: I hope the four of you that snuck out will be able to do your jobs effectively today, otherwise I fear your punishment will be more severe

Kaeya: ill be fine jeannie

Venti: i lost my schedule can someone send theirs

Ningguang: how have you managed to be invited back each year

Venti: my charisma and brilliant playing

Zhongli: Venti. I am saddened to hear that you would be so irresponsible as to lose your schedule before our first day even begins. As for the schedule, each of the three groups will be visiting each activity for the introductions. Ningguang can tell you the exact times that you will have campers in the music room. -Zhongli

Venti: MY SAVIOUR

Venti: ningguang shawty please tell me my times youre so sexy

Beidou: if you weren’t so flamingly gay i’d punch you

Diluc: do it anyways

Albedo: I agree, I’d like to see you punch that twink. For science

Mona: he hasnt even worked with you for a week and hes already calling for your blood

Venti: im amazing i know

Ningguang: go to the library and print a new copy of your schedule

Venti: bestie WHAT

Ningguang: i’m not giving you a freebie bitch

Venti: HUH

Rosaria: get his ass

Beidou: GO NING

Lisa: when you arrive you can figure out the printer yourself~

Venti: HEY NOW

Childe: haha suffer

Kaeya: yall here somethn

Hu Tao: just ventis tears

Venti: IM NOT CRYING YET

Eula: Alas, he’s at least being honest.

Baal: the four dumbasses who broke curfew will meet with me before dinner so i can do my fucking job i guess.

Hu Tao: hey mona was up too

Mona: no one likes a fucking snitch 

Mona: i’m charging you for that

Yanfei: Noted!

Baal: she didnt go sit in the woods like a fucking asshole. dont do anything else that stupid today or ill have four more ears in my collection.

Kaeya: shes joking right

Kaeya: ...right?

Yae: Signs point to “no”

Thoma: I wouldn’t bet on those odds, Kaeya

Hu Tao: oh boy i sure do love rules!

Childe: is she allowed to threaten us like that

Venti: hey besties do tears stain paper

Beidou: are you crying because you have to print something

Lisa: Venti you better not be crying on my printer that’s new

Venti: just the paper

Venti: oh the ink is running

Lisa: each page printed will cost you 10 mora

Venti: TEN?!

Hu Tao: i bet hes crying more lmao

Childe: haha cry baby

Kaeya: haha cry baby

Venti: kaeay SHUT UP

Childe: STOP IGNORING ME

Ganyu: Breakfast begins at 8, correct? Would it be too early for Xiao and I to start to bring group B to go eat?

Baizhu: the regulations team has breakfast set up so as long as theyre ready were good

Yanfei: We’re all set here! 

Ganyu: Also, they are wondering if they have to sit as a group? 

Jean: Is anyone in particular asking?

Xiao: kazuha wants to sit somewhere else

Ningguang: let him do it

Ganyu: I wouldn’t want to give him special privileges,

Beidou: aye theres no need to stress over it

Beidou: let the kid sit somewhere else just for breakfast please

Baal: first day the groups eat together. special exceptions must be zhongli approved.

Zhongli: I am aware of the Kazuha situation. He will sit with his group for the rest of the day, but for breakfast he has special permission to eat with Beidou. -Zhongli

Ningguang: there all solved

Yae: Beidou how do you know this camper

Beidou: he’s my brother!

Hu Tao: ahha funny joke

Beidou: it’s not??

Kaeya: beidou bro that kid is blond as a cloud and short as balls

Diluc: you have such a way with words

Diluc: and it sucks

Ningguang: not all siblings are by blood dumbass

Mona: lmao yeah you should know kaeya

Beidou: kaeya i’m gonna punch you later

Beidou: breakfast first

Kaeya: rip me 

 

[Group B] June 29 2021, 8:07 am

Xingqiu: wheres the short poetry one

Sara: Did you seriously forget his name already?

Xingqiu: i dont bother myself with useless things

Lumine: that’s just called being a pompous asshole

Gorou: He has a point though, where did Kazuha go?

Ganyu: Oh, it seems I forgot to mention! Kazuha is eating somewhere else for breakfast, he’ll join us again as soon as we’re done!

Xiangling: he’s okay right?

Ganyu: He’s perfectly fine. I cannot say much else, as that is up to Kazuha to disclose as he wishes, but there is nothing to worry about

Xiao: just put your phones down and eat

Xiangling: are there any condiments? my eggs could use some kick

Yoimiya: Oh I saw some by the drinks! Big rack you can’t miss it!!

Lumine: she already did

Xiao: phones. put them away.

Kazuha: I apologize for my absence this morning

Gorou: No hard feelings, man! Just glad you’re back!

Xingqiu: where were u

Lumine: he doesn’t have to tell us asshole go suck on a book

Xingqiu: damn bitch

Kazuha: It’s okay, I don’t mind sharing

Kazuha: I was eating with my older sister and her girlfriend. Separation anxiety sometimes gets the better of me, and even just a weekend apart made me antsy. Eating breakfast together was the best solution

Xiangling: oh man thanks for sharing kazuha

Lumine: is your sister in one of the other groups

Kazuha: She works here

Xingqiu: damn someones gonna be a favourite

Chongyun: That’s kinda cool

Xingqiu: well i guess its a little cool

Ganyu: As much as I wish we could continue bonding like this, we have a busy day ahead of us! We’ll be sampling each of the activities offered

Xiao: we get to start with the art and academics.

Lumine: we won’t have to be around that weird ginger man right

Lumine: he has bad vibes

Ganyu: No, we shouldn’t be spending much time with Childe and group C

Yoimiya: What kind of a name is Childe?

Lumine: a stupid one

Ganyu: Lumine, did he say anything or do anything that caused you to feel this way?

Lumine: no he just looks like he’d call me a slur if i rejected him

Xiao: you’re my favourite

 

[Group A!!] June 29 2021, 10:47 am

Aether: is amber okay?

Hu Tao: aya? whats up

Aether: i don’t think she’s breathed since we got here

Bennett: do yuo think shes’ scared of dancing?

Ayaka: She hasn’t looked away from the display, so I don’t think so.

Razor: ambre,; sick.?

Barbara: Oh, she does look quite red! Oh dear that could be proof of a fever

Thoma: I don’t think fevers develop that quickly, guys

Hu Tao: oh i get it now

Aether: you do? what’s wrong with amber?

Thoma: Hu Tao what do you know?

Hu Tao: shes fine i promise!

Hu Tao: you all worry too much

Thoma: Wait you don’t mean

Hu Tao: aya thoma dont make me spell it out!

Thoma: Oh this is good

Barbara: So Amber is okay?

Thoma: She’s totally fine. She’s just very invested in Eula’s demo

Aether: i can see why she’s a pretty great dancer

Hu Tao: yeah thats totally it

Aether: where are we going after this

Bennett: yeah we alredy did the sprots station with kaeya whats nextt

Thoma: We’ll be heading down to the lake!

Hu Tao: we actually have a lifeguard this summer so yall get to go swimming 

Razor: swiim<< nice

Thoma: That’s right! Then our last stop before lunch will be with our canoeing expert

Barbara: How exciting! I can’t wait to see the lake!

 

[Group B] June 29 2021, 11:25 am

Xiangling: is it just me or is Xiao actually smiling?

Chongyun: He looks rather at peace with himself

Xinyan: lucky hes got his eyes closed or hed get mad that the music man keeps staring at him

Sara: Why are all of you so bad at names. He literally wrote it on the board behind him. His name is Venti.

Lumine: has he even looked away from xiao

Xingqiu: not once

Kazuha: His distraction highlights his skill all the same. He must have memorized this piece to be able to play so well without looking at his music at all

Gorou: It’s amazing it’s so soothing

Xingqiu: tamed the emo lmao

Lumine: you literally have a scene haircut you can’t say anything

Xingqiu: stop coming for my ass 

Lumine: who said anything about your ass

Xiangling: ass?

Gorou: Why are we talking about ass 

Xinyan: who here likes ass

Chongyun: Is it washed?

Lumine: i bet xingqiu only washes his ass in a fruity way

Yoimiya: Who brings fruit in the shower?

Xiangling: why is he putting food in his ass that’s the opposite of where it goes

Xingqiu: i wash my ass normally you fuck heads

Kazuha: I believe that Lumine was saying Xingqiu showers in a gay way

Xingqiu: yeah she hate crimed me

Xingqiu: i cant even look at that homophobe

Lumine: i’m literally a lesbian if anyone’s homophobic it’s you

Gorou: Hey I’m gay too

Chongyun: Who else does is gay

Chongyun: Mee

Xinyan: hes gettin sleepyfrom the flute music

Xinyan: also gay

Xiangling: i’m bi!

Yoimiya: Same bestie!

Xingqiu: yes im homophobic

Xingqiu: i am also gay people can be two things

Lumine: you’re not valid suffer

Kazuha: If we’re all sharing, I am also gay

Sara: You are all the worst. Reading your messages take years from my life.

Sara: ...I’m also gay

Xingqiu: great were a whole ass pride parade

Gorou: No don’t bring us back to ass

Xingqiu: the femboy hooters motherfucker up front has ass

Lumine: trust the gay to stare at a mans ass

Xingqiu: i will bite you

Yoimiya: Kinky?

Xiangling: xingqiu both homophobic and a freak

Lumine: pick a struggle scene boy

Ganyu: You’re all very lucky that Venti hasn’t noticed that you’ve been on your phones this whole time, you’re being very disrespectful!

Sara: Please don’t read up. For your sanity.

Ganyu: I-

Ganyu: Why are you all like this

 

[Staff] June 29 2021, 1:34 pm

Rosaria: i cant believe i have to say this

Rosaria: but it seems some of you have forgotten that we have a staff dress code

Lisa: oh who’s been naughty today~

Rosaria: beidou where are your sleeves

Beidou: fell off

Thoma: From all the flexing she’s been doing

Beidou: hell yeah

Jean: Why did you feel the need to remove them? The sleeves are already short

Beidou: its easier to move without them

Baizhu: i’ll put in an order for another staff shirt in her size

Rosaria: and kaeya you cant wear it like that

Venti: bros rocking the mankini look

Kaeya: im just tanning my stomach thats all

Childe: sayu called you a slut 

Rosaria: just wear it normally

Rosaria: albedo you cant just wear a hoodie over your staff shirt

Albedo: I’m sorry. I saw Xiao wearing one yesterday and assumed that it would be alright. I’ll put it away now

Baizhu: i can order you a staff hoodie if its too cold in your lab

Albedo: That would be most ideal, thank you

Jean: Xiao, are you not hot in your hoodie? It’s rather warm outside

Ganyu: There’s no need to worry, Jean. Xiao has always dressed like this in the summer

Venti: the highlight of my summer is when he finally takes it off

Kaeya: yeah we all know already

Hu Tao: well know the world is ending if venti ever doesnt simp for xiao

Yanfei: Do these shirts come in any other colours? The white writing on black is boring

Jean: There are alternate shirts, but those are reserved for the second week of July

Kokomi: What is it that makes the second week of July so important?

Eula: It is simply the best event of the entire summer. The shining light in our lives.

Mona: its a big competition week

Yae: The winners get a trip to the mall for a day

Thoma: Which includes a free dinner at the best restaurant in the area!

Venti: hey this child just hissed at me this is the kaeya one right

Kaeya: hey

Diluc: yes that’s probably Diona

Venti: why was the butter man put in charge of these kids he can’t control them at all

Ningguang: is that why i can hear crashing from my office

Venti: one of them threw a drum mallet at childe and he fell like a brick

Venti: bastard is messing up my chairs

Childe: THEYRE EVIL

Xiao: it’s not just his campers that don’t respect him mine hate him already

Kaeya: based campers

Albedo: When they were in the lab, Klee asked me if I could give her a slur and a slut. He is tainting my sister

Jean: Hopefully they’ll settle down after Baal’s speech after super

Mona: hey Hu Tao why is one of yours sniffing me

Hu Tao: thats just razor aya

Thoma: Yeah he’s just like that

Venti: there are more furries oh gods

Lisa: they’re multiplying

 

[Staff] June 29 2021, 8:09 pm

Baal: the four assholes who sat in the woods like crazy people will be cleaning the dining hall after every meal for a week. 

Venti: im gonna die

Childe: someone kill me

Diluc: i now understand why Eula likes vengeance so much

Eula: You have seen the glory in my ways, I see. However, if you attempt to steal my “brand”, rest assured. Vengeance will be mine!

Keqing: It’s nice to see rulebreakers wallow in the consequences

Yanfei: The judicial system at work!

Baizhu: i doubt sitting in the woods and waking up angsty roommates falls under any court of law

Yanfei: For now.

Childe: im scared

Kaeya: strange i thought i heard something

Childe: STOP IGNORING ME

Beidou: oh childe i need you to do something for me

Childe: nevermind i like being invisible

Beidou: i want you to give me those gas station cakes you hid in the ceiling of your cabin

Childe: HOW DO YOU KNOW ABOUT THAT

Xiao: i saw you take some when you left this morning. you woke me up so i told beidou

Venti: childe how dare you wake up your roommates so early have you no respect

Diluc: you hypocrit fuck

Beidou: make it snappy servent

Childe: you cant do this to me slavery is illegal

Kaeya: funny i thought i heard the white man complain about slavery

Rosaria: reconciliation in action

Thoma: Does Childe secretly support slavery

Childe: NO

Eula: Where is that little Ed Sheran butter sculpture I will ensure he never even considers it.

Childe: I DONT SUPPORT SLAVERY

Ningguang: please stop causing a scene in front of the campers Childe

Hu Tao: yeah one of mine wants to fight him i think she thinks hes evil

Thoma: It’s hard to understand what she’s saying but she keeps calling him a “foul servant to the abyss of reality”

Ganyu: Childe’s outburst in the cabin ring has inspired some of the campers in group B to argue about hygiene again. Please make him stop

Mona: again?

Venti: lmao i like these campers theyre funny

Baizhu: Qiqi texted me asking if ‘mr ajax’ is going to explode

Albedo: That may be partially not entirely his fault

Ningguang: why don’t i like where this is going

Albedo: My dear sister has a love of everything related to bombs

Jean: Excuse me?

Venti: BOMBS?!

Kaeya: how does a third grader get attached to bombs

Albedo: It evolved from her fixation with fire

Rosaria: great we have a tiny arsonist

Baal: she better not set any fucking fires.

Albedo: I didn’t let her bring her materials. We should be fine

Ganyu: Speaking of siblings, Kaeya, Diluc, why is your little sister wearing cat ears and a tail?

Diluc: she’s a fan of those warrior whatever books

Kaeya: she thinks she was a cat like the ones in the books in another life

Xiao: and you let her go outside like that?

Kaeya: they let you outside when you were dressing like a messenger of death

Venti: pics or it didnt happen

Xiao: no.

Zhongli: Venti, if you wish to see photographs of Xiao when he was younger, please let me know. Ganyu helped me transfer our family albums onto the internet, so I should be able to fill your requests. -Zhongli

Xiao: i have no family they are both traitors now

Ganyu: We love you too

Venti: zhongli i will build a shrine to you under dilucs bed 

Diluc: like hell you will

Zhongli: That will not be necessary, though I am most flattered. We can speak more on your request tomorrow, as I am now retiring for the evening. -Zhongli

Baizhu: classic grandpa going to bed while the sun has yet to set

Childe: he clearly gets his beauty sleep so it must work

Kaeya: how do you think youre straight

Beidou: fruity butter stick 

Childe: I DONT SWEAT BUTTER

Ningguang: sure 

Hu Tao: if you say so

Jean: If you plan to lie, at least make it believable

Lisa: even jean agrees oho

Jean: Sorry I sent that to the wrong chatroom

Albedo: While I believe that it is currently impossible for someone to sweat butter,

Albedo: If anyone would be able to do it, it would be him.

Thoma: Y’all hit him so hard he punched the wall in white boy anger lmao

Baizhu: i’ll place an order for plaster

Chapter Text

[Group B] June 30 2021, 2:40 am

Xingqiu: who up

Lumine: i wish i wasn’t

Xingqiu: who else up

Lumine: bitch

Xingqiu: someone other than lumine please

Sara: Go the fuck to sleep I swear to gods.

Xingqiu: why are you up then checkmate

Sara: The light from Lumine’s phone woke me up.

Lumine: i’m sorry but i had to come harass this twink

Sara: Oh I don’t blame you I blame him.

Xingqiu: this is why im gay

Xiangling: xingqiu hates women confirmed

Xingqiu: thats it im sleeping instead

Lumine: we did it girlbosses

Lumine: way to gatekeep

Xiangling: so what’re gonna do now with our freedom

Sara: I’m going to sleep.

Xiangling: valid

Lumine: may you gaslight away in your dreams

Lumine: and may they be absent of a certain manwhore

Sara: ...Right. Don’t stay up too late or whatever.

Xiangling: and then there were two

Lumine: yup

Gorou: Nope

Kazuha: Hello

Xiangling: afva were you guys lurking to avoid xingqiu

Kazuha: Kind of

Gorou: So we have bunkbeds but we don’t need to use them, right? 

Gorou: Xingqiu took a top bunk and he is sleeping with his feet in the air

Lumine: so like hes got his feet on the roof

Kazuha: He is too short to do it properly so his legs are just in the air

Kazuha: It is eerie to watch

Xiangling: what the hell

Lumine: if i didn’t know he was fruity that would do it

Kazuha: The first night he went to bed right away.

Lumine: are you serious 

Gorou: Yeah, the only reason he stayed up was to mess with the ghost stuff that Chongyun put out after he fell asleep

Xiangling: gods hes so bad at flirting

Lumine: you think he likes the ghost kid

Xiangling: he was going on about how smart his hooded t shirt is at dinner 

Gorou: So that’s a yes lmao

Lumine: so why are yall up

Xiangling: im not used to sharing a room with people afjvhb

Gorou: Same! 

Lumine: sleep is for the weak

Gorou: What about you, Kazu?

Kazuha: Since my sister and I share a room at home, that is not an issue for me. I guess I just can’t sleep

Xiangling: wait which staff was your sister

Kazuha: Beidou, she’s the canoeing counsellor

Gorou: Oh the lady with the eyepatch! She looks very cool

Kazuha: She’d be pleased to hear that

Lumine: i don’t mean to make things weird but your sister is very pretty

Kazuha: She would be pleased to hear that as well

Xiangling: wait did yall just hear that

Xinyan: that scream? yeah

Sara: Great. I was just getting some good sleep.

Xingqiu: WHAT WAS THAT

Chongyun: I knew there were spirits here

Gorou: No wait dude don’t go out there

Xingqiu: chongyun come back

Kazuha: I don’t think he’s stopping

Yoimiya: Were all totally following him right

Xingqiu: yes he wont die alone

Xiangling: DIE??!!

 

[Staff] June 30 2021, 3:15 am

Rosaria: who the fuck made that noise just now

Diluc: i swear to every god i will murder who ever is fucking screaming

Yanfei: If I was betting I’d place my money on Childe

Childe: ITS NOT ME

Childe: THOMA XIAO DEFEND MY HONOUR

Thoma: For once he’s innocent, his loud ass snoring proves it

Mona: of course he snores

Albedo: What exactly made that noise?

Venti: you mean who

Venti: right?

Albedo: That didn’t quite sound human

Kaeya: oh gods the camp is haunted

Childe: i cant believe im gonna get eaten by a monster

Jean: Everyone just calm down!

Jean: Why did a group of campers just run past my cabin

Ganyu: Oh archons, those are our campers Xiao! We have to go after them!

Xiao: you stay put. i’ll get them

Baal: dont go out there alone are you fucking stupid.

Beidou: ill come with they only just passed us

Ningguang: i can’t believe that this is how i become a widow

Beidou: youll be the hottest widow if i dont return love

Yae: There it was again

Lisa: the remaining group staff should make sure that all their campers are accounted for

Childe: all 4 gremlins are somehow sleeping through this

Thoma: Uh oh

Hu Tao: yikes

Keqing: That doesn’t spark confidence at all.

Baizhu: who are you missing

Hu Tao: just fischl from the girls side

Thoma: Bennett and Razor aren’t here, it’s just Aether

Ningguang: Ganyu did Lumine go with the others

Ganyu: Yes, our entire group went after Chongyun, he believes this is the work of a ghost

Zhongli: Baizhu, Diluc, and Albedo, please join Thoma and stay with Aether in his cabin until everything has settled down. Jean, Baal, and I will join the search for the others that have run off. Ningguang and Lisa please keep an eyes out here. Everyone else should stay in their cabins until further notice. -Zhongli

Venti: damn hes serious

Kaeya: if i wasnt worried before i am now

Yae: Does Aether know why the others ran off in the middle of the night

Thoma: He says that Razor was acting strange? Something about the woods feeling wrong, insisted he had to go check. Bennett and Fischl went to keep him company

Yanfei: Was this before or after the weird screaming

Hu Tao: i think before

Rosaria: ultimate bad feeling

Venti: i know its not the time

Venti: but can we please just address the fact that baal fuckin naruto runs

Mona: she what

Venti: when she ran out to follow jean and zhongli she was doing it i swear

Thoma: I don’t know what to even say to that

Kaeya: i wanna make an edgy amv about her now

Hu Tao: please do

Yae: If anyone has videos or photos of Baal please send them to Kaeya I need this

Ningguang: i need this too i need to find edgy music for the depression the death of my beloved will cause

Diluc: stop speaking like shes already dead

Ningguang: i’ve already taken one of her sweaters to mimic the feeling of her warmth

Mona: since when has ningguang been so dramatic

Ganyu: Oh, always

Lisa: shes just a very good actress

Rosaria: another noise

Albedo: Thoma, what is your camper doing?

Thoma: Huh?

Diluc: Aether is making weird faces at his phone

Thoma: Oh, they keep sending really bad and cursed photos of themselves to their groupchat

Kaeya: thats one way not to think about whats happening

Ganyu: I’ve been trying to get my group to respond to me in our chat but the only response they’ve been sending are photos of Xingqiu running

Venti: the little twink with the weird karen scene hair right

Kaeya: oh him

Ganyu: They’re just talking about how gay he looks when he runs they won’t tell me where they’re going

Hu Tao: well how gay does he run

Ganyu:

Ganyu: It’s a pretty gay run,

Venti: i love the campers

Rosaria: they ran towards the scary sounds in the woods

Venti: and

Yanfei: Gen Z is out here doing the most

Diluc: i’m pretty sure everyone here is a gen z

Baizhu: wrong Zhongli has the soul of the worlds oldest man

Mona: ganyu are you just gonna let him slander your brother like this

Ganyu: He’s not wrong,

Jean: We have an update! We just passed group B, who are being escorted back by Xiao and Beidou. We shouldn’t be far from finding Fischl, Bennett, and Razor

Ningguang: my wife she’s alive

Rosaria: bitch just ran out of her cabin barefoot 

Mona: lmao isnt that beidous university rowing hoodie

Kaeya: ive never seen ningguang not look perfect this is surreal

Venti: so were all just watching my boss have a mental breakdown

Venti: nice

Yae: I think I can see the lights from their flashlights, they’re back

Ganyu: Oh thank gods none of my campers are harmed

Kaeya: HDBL

Kaeya: ningguang just booked it on sight

Mona: damn beidou really is strong

Mona: shes already got kazuha on her back and she just swooped ningguang up hot damn

Venti: little man is just hanging from her neck like a cat

Venti: so you know who else reminds me of a cat

Eula: If you say Xiao, I will not hesitate to make my vengeance swift and painful.

Venti: keqing

Keqing: Excuse me?

Childe: hes right your pointy hair looks like cat ears

Keqing: Stop looking in my direction

Mona: yeah why do you choose to make them so pointy

Kaeya: i sense furry shit

Keqing: Hop off my dick?

Venti: haha eat shit mona

Mona: im charging you for that

Ganyu: Don’t mind them, Keqing, I think your hairstyle is rather nice

Keqing: Oh, well, thank you, Ganyu

Beidou: yeah shes right

Kaeya: how are you texting right now youre carrying two whole people

Beidou: i have a second arm

Yanfei: The flexing will never stop

Albedo: We have an update

Lisa: thats good

Albedo: Woods are haunted.

Childe: i

Childe: what

Albedo: Woods. Are. Haunted.

Xiao: so youre telling me chongyun was right

Albedo: Yep.

Yae: Okay can you give us more than just that

Albedo: So we found the kids in this weird clearing, and the furry one was growling at the air? The dramatic girl was carrying the other one, I think he got hit on the head by a rock

Kaeya: how did he get hit by a rock

Albedo: The spot in the air that the kid is growling at is spitting rocks at them. It’s making the screaming noise

Lisa: oh the woods are totally haunted yep

Baizhu: asldfkjvbnfLHABDVLSJHBV

Venti: rip the medic

Albedo: Another update: Zhongli threw a rock back at the spot and just said “no” and it stopped

Baizhu: icon shit

Diluc: this whole night has been a fever dream

Rosaria: my drunk dreams arent even this wild

Thoma: Wait did you say Bennett passed out

Albedo: That’s what we think happened, the dramatic one is very hard to understand

Baizhu: i want to say its because shes distressed but that may only be a little part of it lol

Hu Tao: shes just like that lmao

Thoma: But is Bennett okay?

Baizhu: he appears to be fine

Baizhu: if he hasnt woken by morning or feels unwell feel free to send him my way

Thoma: Thank gods

Jean: Now that the issue has been resolved, I suggest we all try to get what little sleep we can. This is going to be a long day

 

[Group B] June 30 2021, 7:22 pm

Xingqiu: mothers and fuckers youll never believe what i just learned

Kazuha: That there really is a ghost in the woods?

Lumine: that there was a ghost last night

Gorou: Oh is this about the ghost in the forest last night

Xingqiu: how the fuck do you know that already

Kazuha: Beidou told me

Lumine: my brother told me 

Gorou: I was talking with one of the guys from group A, Razor, he was there

Chongyun: So I was right?

Sara: Unbelievably, yes.

Chongyun: I will need to improve my defenses

Xinyan: cant believe ghosts are real

Yoimiya: Of course they are! 

Yoimiya: Just like demons.

Lumine: why was that so ominous

Xingqiu: wait gorou why were you talking to the furry

Gorou: He seems really cool! He gave me a pinecone

Chongyun: Can I examine it for traces of the ghost

Gorou: As long as I get it back

Xiangling: hey so when do i get my money

Xingqiu: what money

Sara: She got the gayest photo of you running after Ghost Boy. We all agreed that whoever got the gayest photo would get twenty bucks.

Xingqiu: from where 

Lumine: i already took it from him i’ll give it to you tonight

Xiangling: thank Lulu!

Xingqiu: wait did you rob me

Kazuha: She made it rather clear that she did

Lumine: yeah i’m not a pussy i stole a twenty from your femboy shorts

Lumine: those pockets are shallower than mine

Xinyan: yeah and arent you rich

Xinyan: whats $20 to you

Xingqiu: its the lack of respect

Gorou: I’m surprised he doesn’t care about the gay running thing

Chongyun: I didn’t see his running, how was it gay

Xiangling sent a photo to [Group B]

Chongyun: Okay I can see it

Ganyu: I hope none of you forgot that Xiao and I can read everything you sent, correct?

Lumine: i thought the multiple conversations about ass scared you off

Ganyu: Please try to behave in the chat, I would hate to have to get one of the Regulations staff involved

Xingqiu: cant believe ganyu is threatening us

Gorou: Would you rather Xiao do it

Xingqiu: no i feel like hed murder me

Xiao: if it weren’t for the laws of this land i already would have.

 

[Group A!!] July 1 2021, 12:52 am

Aether: where do pandas go when they die

Barbara: Aether, you should be sleeping! 

Sucrose: Shrimp heaven

Aether: thanks

Amber: Why not regular heaven

Sucrose: Dog ate it

Amber: What about panda heaven

Aether: that’s reserved for Jack Black

Barbara: Please, everyone, you’re clearly tired. Please go to bed

Aether: i have never been more sound of mind

Sucrose: Ive seen celestia they have specialized crocs

Razor: Krro;c

Bennett: i’ts a shoe!

Razor: th1nak

Aether: did anyone have lightning mcqueen ones

Sucrose: Small twink

Aether: my faith in the gods is restored

Amber: Are they speaking witch

Fischl: Hark! I doth have determined that the speaking of thine dear companions Aether and Sucrose, while strange it may be, is within the terms of the mortal speak of the youth!

Barbara: Is no one sleeping?!

Ayaka: Noelle is.

Amber: Noelle slept through all of that mess last night

Razor: sor’’rys

Aether: you don’t need to be you did nothing wrong

Amber: Yeah you somehow discovered that the forest is haunted good job buddy

Bennett: yEha you ddi greate!

Razor: bwff

Barbara: Please, just go to bed everyone,

Amber: Wait Barb youre awake too

Aether: oh yeah why were you up

Barbara:

Ayaka: Are you okay?

Barbara: Sleeping now goodnight!

Sucrose: Most suspicious

Aether: investigation team assemble?

Sucrose: Yes

Amber: Im in!

Ayaka: I will lend my services.

Bennett: wel’l sitt out this time!!

Razor: hds

Fischl: It is with my utmost and certain regret that I, Fischl, Prinzessin der Verurteilung, cannot assist thee in thine holy quest for truth. The journey I travel is long and lonesome, thus I mustn’t waste but a moment more engaging in the follies of mortal youth.

Aether: uh sure then

 

[c] July 1 2021, 5:12 am

Sayu: ajax

Sayu: ajax

Sayu: tortilla

Sayu: tortala

Sayu: ajax torstaja

Sayu: kid

Sayu: infant

Sayu: asshole

Childe: why are u awake 

Childe: stop blowing up my phone

Klee: BLOW UP

Klee: KLEE WANTS TO BLOW UP THINGS

Childe: no arson

Klee: ARSON IS FIRE BOMBS ARE NOT ARSON

Klee: MY BIG BROTHER TOLD ME 

Diona: She’s right hisssss

Childe: ARE U HISSING OVER TEXT

Diona: It’s to show that I think you’re stinky and mean

Sayu: stinky infant man

Childe: why were u texting at 5 am

Sayu: oh yeah

Sayu: qiqi forgot something and it upset her

Childe: text her brother

Qiqi: Qiqi’s big brother needs his sleep,

Childe: and i dont

Diona: No

Qiqi: Qiqi can’t remember where Changsheng is

Childe: who that

Klee: CHANGSHENG IS QIQIS FRIEND

Klee: LIKE HOW DODOCO IS KLEES FRIEND

Childe: oh the toy

Childe: did u look under the bed

Diona:

Diona: Good news we found him

Qiqi: Qiqi would like to thank Mr Ajax

Childe: just go to sleep

Childe: and behave during activities

Sayu: the rest of us dont have to promise anything

Childe: i hate my job

Chapter Text

[Senior Staff] July 1 2021, 11:32 am

Zhongli: Good morning, colleagues. After the situation involving the spirit that caused the minor panic the other morning, I have decided that we should reconsider the safety involved with the hiding game scheduled for this Saturday’s activity. Please feel free to share your thoughts and feelings on the matter. -Zhongli

Baal: ghosts arent real.

Baizhu: then please explain what happened that night

Lisa: three of the most rational people here all saw something you cant say it was nothing

Baal: of course it was something.

Baal: aliens.

Ningguang: oh gods she’s a conspiracy theorist

Baal: cant be a conspiracy if its true.

Lisa: ignoring that mess

Lisa: as long as we use the new staff chat to our advantage we should be fine

Baizhu: splitting the campers into smaller manageable groups may also help

Jean: I agree, if we use as many staff members to our advantage as we can, there shouldn’t be any issues. Ghost or no ghost!

Baal: aliens.

Ningguang: ignore the nut 

Ningguang: i agree with the others there isn’t any real reason to cancel the event

Zhongli: Thank you all for your input. Ningguang, Lisa, if you find the time today, please put together the smaller teams you were suggesting. The leftover staff will run the event. -Zhongli

Baizhu: it would be smart to put the twins with the most competent staff, just in case

Lisa: keeping them apart would also be ideal in case of emergency

Ningguang: so Aether with Rosaria and Lumine with Xiao

Lisa: that sounds about right

Baal: if the aliens appear again rest assured that i will be ready for them.

Jean: I think it’s best you put Chongyun in a group he can’t run from. I fear what could happen to him if he attempts to confront the ghost

Baal: aliens.

Lisa: hold on what is happening outside the main centre

Ningguang: whatever do you mea

Ningguang: what the fuck

 

[Staff] July 1 2021, 11:51 am

Baal: @Xiao @Ganyu @Thoma @Hu Tao why are some of your idiots doing what theyre doing.

Thoma: You’ll need to be more specific than that

Lisa: it looks like they’ve organized some sort of dog fight in front of the main centre

Lisa: where razor and gorou are the dogs

Hu Tao: oh you mean the larp pokemon battle

Rosaria: every day i wake up and wonder why the gods make me suffer by refusing to let me pass peacefully in my sleep

Kaeya: its cause youre fruity

Rosaria: thank you mr fruit farm very helpful

Mona: wait what’s this about larping

Thoma: Group A finished soccer early so Kaeya and Beidou could go help set up lunch and they got bored

Ganyu: Since group B had just finished crafts with Albedo, Hu Tao suggested we let the groups mingle while we all wait for lunch! Xiao and I had to go find Zhongli for a minute, but Thoma and Hu Tao insisted they had it handled

Ningguang: so why am i watching two teenage boys growling and biting at each other like animals from my window

Thoma: Well they were all getting along well and someone brought up Pokemon and somehow that lead to larping 

Venti: who are the trainers

Hu Tao: aether and lumine

Hu Tao: lumine is ruthless with her orders too 

Lisa: wait are they placing bets down there

Thoma: Are they?

Beidou: Kazuha says the favourite to win is Gorou

Yae: This seems vaguely illegal

Albedo: They appear to be betting using acorns

Kaeya: how do you know that

Albedo: During their art period, Xingqiu convinced Chongyun that there’s a forest spirit that makes you straight if you haven’t collected enough acorns

Diluc: what the fuck

Venti: hashtag gaslight

Ganyu: Is that why they were all so desperate to collect acorns when we went outside?

Keqing: Who in their right mind would believe something like that?

Yanfei: There is a screaming, rock spitting ghost in the woods already

Mona: tee bee ache i wouldn’t risk being turned straight

Childe: whats wrong with being straight

Venti: can lead to paken

Childe: what the fuck is paken

Venti: PAKEN DEEZ NUTS IN YOUR MOUTH 

Thoma: I think you killed him

Ningguang: it’s what he deserves for falling for that

Kaeya: rip ed sheran he never got railed by another man what a sad death

Diluc: you say that as if you’ve slept with any man

Venti: damn get him

Keqing: Is no one going to stop the fight happening? Anyone?

Diluc: has one of them drawn blood

Thoma: Nope they’re mostly waving their arms around pretending to use Pokemon attacks

Rosaria: so we dont need to intervene

Beidou: whats happening out there i hear shouting

Ganyu: Xiao and I got back, and he attempted to end the fight,

Thoma: But the campers somehow convinced him that he has to beat both Lumine and Aether in battle before they stop,

Hu Tao: he just pointed at both of them and said hes using death attack and that he won

Albedo: The campers appear to be very upset with this ending, though the twins are both pretending to die

Jean: I have no words 

Lisa: i do and most of them are fuck

Keqing: As in what the fuck, right?

Lisa: ;)

Keqing: ...right?

Ningguang: oh no they’ve started throwing the acorns

Diluc: i swear if we have to somehow ban acorns

Thoma: @Baizhu Hey are you still in the infirmary?

Yanfei: Why do I have a bad feeling about this

Baizhu: i was just about to leave why

Thoma: Noelle ducked to avoid getting hit by an acorn and it hit Bennett. He’s unconscious again

Baizhu: one of you bring him over

Ganyu: I’ll take him, it was Xinyan that threw that acorn

Mona: why did she throw it that hard

Rosaria: thats the only question you have

Mona: yes

Jean: For everyone else, we’re ready to start lunch! Please get the campers to stop fighting so they can come eat

Venti: where was group c in all this

Childe: we had quiet time in the library

Lisa: which means most of them were sleeping

 

[Group B] July 1 2021, 1:20 pm

Yoimiya: How are some of you so good at playing instruments? 

Xiangling: yeah some of you sound amazing

Xiangling: Xingqiu may be an annoying little twink but hes pretty good with that violin

Xiangling: and dont get me started on xinyan gorou and kazuha

Lumine: wait a damn minute

Lumine: what is Kazuha playing right now

Sara: The flute?

Lumine: not the instrument the song

Xinyan: oh no this better not be what i think it is

Xingqiu: CAN WE PRETEND THAT AIRPLANES IN THE NIGHT SKY ARE LIKE SHOOTING STARS

Xingqiu: I COULD REALLY USE A WISH RIGHT NOW WISH RIGHT NOW WISH RIGHT NOW

Xiao: calm the fuck down.

Yoimiya: Xiao said the fuck word!

Lumine: how dare he

Xiao: cut it out

Ganyu: Can we all calm down a bit? This seems to be a little too much excitement for a music block

Gorou: Venti seems to like it

Xiao: he is not someone you want to team up with.

Kazuha: I hope you all enjoyed my performance

Sara: You played well, good job.

Gorou: Yeah Kazu, that was great

Chongyun: It was pretty cool

Xingqiu: when will i find my mordecai

Lumine: did you just imply that you’d be the twilight sparkle

Xingqiu: yes

Xiangling: Xingqius a twilight kinnie you heard it here first

Xingqiu: I AM NOT

Xinyan: wait what is venti playing

Ganyu: Oh dear,

Gorou: This sounds kind of nice

Lumine: something doesn’t feel right about this

Chongyun: I sense a strong presence of evil in this room

Gorou: oh

Lumine: FUCK

Sara: Why do the archons hate me so?

Ganyu: There it is

Xiao: he does this every time

Kazuha: I can’t believe our music instructor just rick rolled us on a lyre

Xingqiu: i have a new favourite staff member

 

[c] July 1 2021, 1:48 pm

Childe: where did u guys go

Diona: None of your business

Childe: its literally my job 

Diona: Well you suck at it

Childe: just where did u go

Qiqi: We are still here

Sayu: we never left

Sayu: youd know that if you watched us

Childe: wha

Childe: where are you

Klee: LOOK UP MISTER AJAX

Childe:

Childe: WHEN DID U CLIMB THAT TREE

Sayu: when you werent looking

Childe: UR SUPPOSED TO BE WAITING FOR KEQING FOR OUR NATURE WALK GET DOWN HERE

Diona: No you

Klee: I CAN SEE THE WHOLE WORLD UP HERE

Klee: DO YOU THINK THERE ARE FISHIES IN THE LAKE

Diona: Probably

Klee: MISTER AJAX CAN WE GO FISH BLASTING

Childe: no what

Sayu: you made her sad

Sayu: were not coming down

Childe: no please come down before keqing gets back

Diona: We’re on strike

Childe: STRIKE FROM WHAT

Diona: Dealing with you

Qiqi: Qiqi wants to stay in the tree

Sayu: you heard her

Childe: oh gods shes back

 

[Staff] July 1 2021, 2:00 pm

Keqing: Hey I have a question for the returning staff

Lisa: yes dear

Keqing: Why the hell was Childe rehired.

Childe: STOP SLANDERING ME

Kaeya: what did he do now

Venti: tell us i wanna bully him

Keqing: Group C has climbed a tree and claims they’re on strike

Albedo: So he’s been bested by third graders again

Jean: In his defence,

Yae: Are you going to finish that?

Jean: I was hoping I’d come up with something

Childe: hey im good at my job

Keqing: That’s a huge lie

Baizhu: to be fair he did work in athletics last summer

Yanfei: What changed?

Jean: The senior staff all agreed that Kaeya, Childe, Hu Tao, and Venti should be in separate departments just in case. Plus we received an application from a certified lifeguard

Kokomi: Have you not had lifeguards in previous summers?

Kokomi: There are photos of kids swimming and using the canoes?

Baal: no comment.

Mona: i think thats enough of an answer

Keqing: So we have to watch Childe taint this group of third graders all because he can’t work with his friend?

Lisa: you got it

 

[Chucklefucks Unite] July 1 2021, 2:21 pm

Beidou: lmao theyre really attacking you guys in the staff chat

Childe: NOW YOU KNOW HOW I FEEL

Hu Tao: calm down white boy

Kaeya: the real tragedy here is that somehow beidou never gets in shit with us

Beidou: i miss out on the dumbest shit

Venti: shes too busy being a successful lesbian

Beidou: thanks

Childe: has she made you soft or did you bring the good stuff

Beidou: not even ning could stop me from smuggling

Venti: fuck yes

Hu Tao: youre my favourite

Venti: can i have some

Kaeya: bro were still on thin ice after that first party

Beidou: which you didnt invite me to

Hu Tao: you werent responding

Hu Tao: also please stop calling it a party we just sat there

Childe: yeah it was lame

Venti: i had fun

Childe: u were the one that got us caught

Venti: diluc has like magic ears i swear i was dead silent

Kaeya: okay yeah hes strangely good at knowing when something is up

Hu Tao: hey childe are your kids still in that tree

Chidle: yes

Beidou: just bribe them

Kaeya: promise them something impossible it always works

Venti: i feel bad for your siblings

Hu Tao: pretend to leave them up there if you ignore them and loudly talk to keqing about something fun in the woods theyll race to go on that walk

Childe: no reason u got group staff thanks hu tao

Beidou: shouldve let him suffer

Hu Tao: hes already your servant lmao

Beidou: so true bestie

Kaeya: oh shit jeans coming i gotta pretend to be doing something

Venti: hide in a bush

Beidou: you could come help me organize life vests with kokomi

Kaeya: no im not doing real work

Hu Tao: aya of course not

 

[Staff] July 1 2021, 5:43 pm

Thoma: How’s Bennett doing

Baizhu: he woke up a few minutes ago and hes completely fine

Baizhu: i’ll bring him to dinner for you

Hu Tao: how does someone get knocked out twice in two days

Venti: idk hes your camper

Lisa: that’s some really bad luck

Mona: at this point its gotta be more than bad luck

Ningguang: it’s only happened twice

Yae: Mona don’t say what I think you’re going to say

Mona: hes cursed

Baal: by the aliens.

Childe: ALIENS

Ningguang: there are no aliens

Yanfei: Shun the non believer

Albedo: There is no evidence that aliens are involved

Albedo: I cannot say the same about the ghost

Thoma: Do you think the rock spitting ghost cursed Bennett

Kaeya: how come it didnt curse the weird girl

Venti: would you want to curse her

Kaeya: curse her so shes speaks english

Eula: You just lack the intellect to properly admire her words.

Kaeya:

Kaeya: eula too

Beidou: fruit on fruit violence

Hu Tao: trust the sports gays to be the ones fighting

Kaeya: woah who said anything about fighting

Eula: My vengeance, it will be anything but painless.

Beidou: aight athletics dep throwdown tonight

Kaeya: no wait hold up

Jean: I have to agree with Kaeya, there will be no fighting

Kaeya: thank you jeannie

Lisa: i think it would be good for them to spar out their differences

Keqing: If anyone should fight, it should be Athletics after all

Kaeya: now hold on here

Kaeya: beidou if you want a fight so bad why dont you fight eula

Beidou: you were the one who insulted the way she talks

Venti: ooh kayak facing consequences

Diluc: it’s about time

Jean: Fine, if Zhongli approves, then Kaeya and Eula can spar later tonight, away from the campers

Hu Tao: xiao you ask

Xiao: why me

Rosaria: he wouldnt say no to you

Diluc: yeah cause he actually has a brother he tolerates enough to do anything you ask

Ganyu: I want to argue, but he’s not wrong. I don’t think Zhongli likes telling us no if he can

Mona: good siblings? in this group?

Albedo: Hey now.

Jean: I must object!

Baizhu: don’t include the rest of us in this

Beidou: yeah watch it

Ningguang: so you really just mean Kaeya and Diluc

Mona: ...okay yeah

Kaeya: hey!

Diluc: why are you objecting you know they’re right

Kaeya: yeah but it still hurts

Thoma: Wait so is there gonna be a fight or not

Venti: cmon xiao please ask for us

Xiao: whats in it for me?

Yae: You get to watch Kaeya cry when Eula destroys him

Xiao: @Zhongli let them fight please

Kaeya: IM NOT GONNA CRY

Eula: You say that now.

Zhongli: While I doubt how effective fighting out differences may be, I see no reason to deny everyone of the entertainment as long as no one is seriously hurt. -Zhongli

Beidou: YES

Kaeya: NO

Jean: Well that settles it. They will fight tonight, after the campers go to sleep. The sports field should be far enough away?

Hu Tao: wait we have a lifeguard right

Kokomi: Present!

Hu Tao: guys are you thinking what im thinking

Venti: gasp you dont mean

Rosaria: did he just type out gasp

Beidou: SEA BASE?!

Ningguang: oh no they’ve done it now

Baizhu: oh dear

Keqing: I might regret asking,

Keqing: But what is sea base

Beidou: only the BEST THING EVER

Thoma: Oh! That’s the big box sitting in the shed with the canoes and stuff, right?

Jean: I haven’t heard that name in years, oh my

Childe: wait that wasnt a dream

Yanfei: So what is it? No one has actually answered

Albedo: Let the adults have their nostalgia

Baizhu: we’re not that old

Jean: Sea Base is this giant inflatable arena that we used to take out onto the lake, back when most of use were still just campers here

Kokomi: Please tell me you had a lifeguard back then

Beidou: it was epic we used to play dodgeball out there sometimes

Venti: once jean and zhongli had a duel and she pushed him into the lake

Childe: sea base was epic

Hu Tao: can we really bring it back

Beidou: JEAN PLEASE

Venti: cmon jean pleeeeease

Jean: As long as Kokomi agrees to take the proper safety precautions, I don’t see why not

Kokomi: Do we have enough life vests?

Beidou: more than enough

Kokomi: Then it’s a yes from me!

Venti: YES

Kaeya: im gonna die

 

[Group A!!] July 1 2021, 9:42 pm

Amber: Hey do yall see that out on the lake

Aether: thank archons i thought i was going crazy

Ayaka: I, too, can see that there is something out there.

Razor: m0re; gh&ost’’?

Noelle: Oh I sure hope not!

Sucrose: This doesnt quite look like a ghost

Bennett: thaats a relfee!

Amber: We should go get a closer look

Barbara: But we aren’t allowed outside after lights out without a proper reason!

Aether: we have a reason

Aether: i wanna discover a cryptid

Barbara: There’s no such thing?

Sucrose: Thats what they want you to think

Bennett: how is they>

Fischl: The abyss of reality!

Sucrose: The government

Amber: Okay so Im just going to look

Aether: wait for me i wanna get a photo of the monster

Barbara: It’s not a monster!

Aether: if ghosts are real then cryptids can be too

Noelle: You can’t go out there alone, I’ll come to help in the case of danger!

Ayaka: This smells like teenage rebellion. I’ve always wanted to try that.

Ayaka: I’m in as well.

Bennett: im’ stil not feeling grate,, ill waitt hers

Razor: gh[[ost kbad..,,

Sucrose: Fischl is asleep now so she’s out

Amber: Barb are you in or out

Barbara: I can’t support such blatant ignorance of the rules!

Aether: aight so we leave her here

Barbara: No wait let me come,

Amber: lmao alright

Amber: Bennett well keep you updated through this

Noelle: But won’t Hu Tao and Thoma know of our rebellion if we give them evidence?

Ayaka: I doubt either of them would turn us in. They seem to barely obey the rules as is.

Aether: less worry more walky i wanna get famous for discovering a cryptid

Noelle: What are those noises? Are they coming from the lake?

Sucrose: It doesnt sound like a monster

Barbara: That shout, it sounded like Venti?

Aether: damn it’s just the staff

Amber: What are they doing on the lake

Aether: are they on a giant floaty what is this

Sucrose: I cant believe theyre having fun without us

Noelle: Oh no, someone just fell off!

Aether: don’t worry it looks like it was just Kaeya

Noelle: how can you tell?

Aether: i brought my monster hunting binoculars

Aether: any good cryptid chaser always has a pair nearby

Amber: Who is that that theyre lifting up? They must be the one who pushed kaeya off

Aether: Eula

Amber: oH

Barbara: I can’t believe the staff would participate in something as barbaric as a fight like this!

Sucrose: Have we been around the same staff

Hu Tao: oh hey guys

Noelle: Hu Tao! We’re so sorry we snuck out!

Hu Tao: no youre not

Amber: No we’re not

Aether: so there really isn’t a monster in the lake?

Hu Tao: not tonight nope

Thoma: Oh hey guys

Sucrose: Deja vu

Amber: I’ve just been in this place before

Barbara: Why are all of you out on the lake?

Hu Tao: kaeya and eula were fighting

Thoma: We didn’t want everyone to know

Sucrose: Clearly it didnt work

Noelle: Well since everything is solved, I guess we’re off to bed!

Amber: Aw man

Aether: bummer

Thoma: Tomorrow is a new day of fun! Go get rested, you’ll need it.

Hu Tao: yes youll need it.

Aether: okay that was a little ominous

Chapter Text

[Senior Staff] July 2 2021, 9:17 am

Lisa: the groups for tomorrow have been prepared

Baizhu: how wonderful

Zhongli: That is most excellent news, Lisa. How many staff members are left over? -Zhongli

Ningguang: besides us, there are ten staff not with groups

Baal: are any of the idiots in groups?

Ningguang: nope

Lisa: We decided it was best to just use Rosaria, Xiao, Diluc, Yae, Kokomi, Thoma, and Ganyu

Baizhu: very smart

Lisa: thank you

Jean: Those are some of our more responsible counsellors, yes. Who will be organizing those left over, Zhongli?

Zhongli: You and I will work out an action plan today, Jean. All sports activities are suspended on Fridays, so your staff shouldn’t need you much today. They should be split among the groups to assist the indoors activities. -Zhongli

Lisa: oh is it a funstations day already? 

Baal: did you forget? you literally need to have the library set up like an hour ago.

Ningguang: it’s already set up

Lisa: Thank you, I did forget about today

Jean: You must have been really focused on those groups!

Lisa: yes… the groups…

Baizhu: raised eyebrows emoji

 

[Staff] July 2 2021, 10:20 am

Albedo: Hello older staff members, I have a question

Diluc: I don’t like this implication

Baizhu: what is it Albedo

Albedo: So hypothetically speaking,

Beidou: this is gonna be good

Albedo: Let’s say one staff member got covered in art supplies and needs to go shower. Let’s say there’s another staff helping his group today. Is Childe allowed to leave the kids with me and Kokomi?

Kaeya: i love that he gave up on the scenario half way

Lisa: yes Childe can go clean up

Keqing: Wait who’s the other staff with group C?

Yae: Kokomi is

Rosaria: oh they broke up the jocks today

Kaeya: not all of us sista

Eula: Not even fate could drive a wedge between the bond of Kaeya and I

Beidou: jean wanted eula to help thoma when hu tao and kaeya fuck around

Keqing: That makes sense

Yanfei: so youre with b, Beidou

Beidou: ye

Ganyu: We currently have movie time in the library, Lisa let the campers vote on the movie and everything

Xiao: we’re watching megamind.

Venti: damn they have good taste

Venti: group a got to choose a musical from my esteemed collection

Baal: pirated collection

Venti: yeah and?

Hu Tao: they didnt want shrek 

Kaeya: these uncultured youths tsk tsk

Thoma: I don’t know guys, Mean Girls was a great choice

Hu Tao: aether barbara and fischl are singing the plastics parts 

Kaeya: before you ask aether is karen fischl is regina and barb is gretch

Venti: its really entertaining

 

[Group B] July 2 2021, 10:59 am

Sara: Xingqiu stop being so loudly gay. I can’t hear the movie.

Xingqiu: homophobic

Sara: Yoimiya?

Yoimiya: NO U

Yoimiya: BITCH

Xingqiu: sexism

Gorou: Idk dude, your gay staring is really distracting

Gorou: Well, to everyone but Chongyun

Lumine: what are we talking about homies

Sara: Xingqiu’s desperate simping is distracting.

Lumine: y’know maybe he’d notice you like him if you weren’t like lowkey gaslighting him about the ghosts

Xingqiu: nonsense thats how i flirt

Xiangling: Now I feel bad for yun

Sara: Everyone shut up this is the best part.

Sara: Xingqiu stop being gay I need to witness perfection.

Xingqiu: its literally just the scene where they find metroman alive

Gorou: Dude! Spoilers much!

Xinyan: this is your first time watchin? Seriously?

Gorou: Yes and now it’s ruined

Sara: SHUSH

Lumine: damn who knew this would be her favourite movie

Kazuha: I had a feeling

Ganyu: Why can’t you all just enjoy the movie?

Xiangling: gay

Ganyu:

Ganyu: I really can’t argue with that. Don’t let Lisa or Ningguang catch you

Kazuha: Ningguang is occupied with whispering with Beidou, we needn’t worry about her

Lumine: so just Lisa then

Yoimiya: She looks just as invested in the movie as Chongyun and Sara 

Xingqiu: so were free to use our phones then

Gorou: Guess so

Xinyan: who here play games on their phone

Lumine: i bet gayass is a gamer

Xingqiu: i only play the gay stories on episode bitch

Lumine: is it for the ass

Xingqiu: literally none of the characters have ass

Sara: Stop going back to ass!

Yoimiya: Would you rather we talk about boobs?

Sara:

Kazuha: That is a yes

Gorou: Bonkers

Lumine: breasts

Yoimiya: Knockers!

Xiangling: Melons

Kazuha: Hooters

Xinyan: titties

Xingqiu: mommy milkers

Sara: Tig ol bitties

Chongyun: bazoombas

Ganyu: Okay this is worse.

Xiao: ill change the movie to one of those earth documentaries if you don’t cut it out.

Xiangling: oh damn

Sara: No one ruin this for me or I swear to gods.

 

[Group A!!] July 2 2021, 12:33 pm

Aether: how long will Eula and Kaeya be with us

Thoma: For the rest of the day!

Aether: okay that’s good to know

Aether: cause Amber is dying

Sucrose: of gay

Aether: right of gay

Amber: I am not shut up

Hu Tao: oh we know

Hu Tao: its funny

Amber: Hey

Ayaka: I’m sorry Amber, but it’s hard to believe your lies when you look like a human tomato.

Aether: boom roasted

Bennett: OohH someon has a cursh

Barbara: Oh, you’re only finding out now?

Bennett: 

Bennett: no?

Razor: Ben,,tt lie,

Fischl: He has masked his embarrassment in a veil of mistruth, alas, his veil is as clear as the stars number in the heavens!

Hu Tao: damn get him

Thoma: Now I do have to warn you all not to lay into Amber too much, we wouldn’t want to really upset her

Amber: Its okay I can handle these chumps

Aether: damn really

Amber: Whoops my bad

Amber: Forgot to mention this doesn’t include Barbara or Noelle or Ayaka

Amber: Love you girlies

Sucrose: your allies will turn against you soon

Noelle: Oh dear, that was a little ominous

Hu Tao: i loved it personally

Sucrose: thank you

Amber: Aether how come you know so much about musicals

Aether: im a musical theatre gay amber dont be racist

Barbara: What?

Razor: Hugnner,

Hu Tao: lunch is almost served calm down

Ayaka: Calm down unlike Amber’s feelings of homosexuality for Eula?

Amber: AYAKA NO

Ayaka: I’m sorry, but I felt as if I had to. I hope you can forgive me, Amber.

Thoma: Wow, what a betrayal

Aether: good one Ayaka

 

[Staff] July 2 2021, 2:22 pm

Diluc: Jean asked me to remind you all of the weekly staff meeting tonight

Baal: if youre late you get put on clean up.

Yanfei: what if the ghost stops us

Baal: alien.

Ningguang: stop it

Baal: ill stop it when im wrong. which im not.

Childe: think we could end up famous if we got proof

Albedo: No one would believe you, so count yourself out. Anyone else, maybe.

Yae: boom roasted

Mona: are we actually doing an activity tomorrow night? after the other night?

Lisa: we determined that it was safe enough

Rosaria: good enough for me

Kokomi: Aren’t you regulations staff?

Rosaria: if ei says its good its good

Childe: who

Diluc: you have to be kidding

Childe: whos a

Kokomi: Ei*

Baal: its my first name.

Childe: say sike

Hu Tao: yeah baals just her last name dumbass

Baal: its a nickname. my last name is raiden.

Venti: yeah did you think any relative of mine would have a name like baal

Kaeya: wait are yall actually related

Lisa: this is getting sad

Kaeya: no wait i thought venti was just like venti

Xiao: did you think he popped into the world like a little sprite?

Kaeya: no

Kaeya: maybe

Beidou: wait could we get a refresher on the family tree thing again

Beidou: like whos related to who and how

Ningguang: she forgot.

Beidou: hell yeah i did its confusing

Ganyu: Zhongli, Xiao and I are half siblings, we share a dad and live with him and wife number 4

Xiao: i think shes 5.

Ganyu: Right, wife 5! Zhongli’s mother was one of seven siblings, two of which being Venti’s mom and Ei and Makoto’s dad!

Yae: Makoto being her twin

Kaeya: thanks for the clarity

Baal: the group b member sara is one of my other cousins as well.

Lisa: besides them, Jean and Barbara are sisters, Albedo and Klee are siblings, Diluc’s dad adopted Kaeya and Diona, Beidou and Kazuha are siblings, and then there’s Baizhu and Qiqi

Hu Tao: is that it

Hu Tao: i thought it was more complicated

Beidou: oh it gets worse when you consider past foster siblings

Keqing: Oh? There couldn’t be that many who were in the system, right?

Mona: youd think so wouldnt you

Albedo: A factor in the high numbers may be the natural disasters that plagued Teyvat years ago. The death toll was rather high.

Yae: This is getting depressing

Kaeya: wheres venti when you need him

Venti: making fun of group b for wanting to watch cats

Baal: they deserve it.

Thoma: Group A wanted to watch Princess Diaries so we’re all vibing

Hu Tao: the campers want to do a reverse movie and make eula into a hip teen

Eula: What is a Pogchamp and why do they wish for me to say it?

Beidou: oh man i miss out on the best shit

Zhongli: Hello fellow staff. My meeting with Jean regarding tomorrow night’s event has ended, so everything is prepared for tonight’s meeting. I will see you all then. -Zhongli

Kaeya: im excited i hope its paintball

Yanfei: legally that’s impossible

Childe: who r u the police

Yanfei: i’m a law student going into my second year

Rosaria: wait arent you like 17

Yanfei: yeah and so is Albedo, he has a masters in biochem

Venti: oh so yall are smart smart

Xiao: and youre dumb dumb.

Venti: awe i cant believe you noticed thats so sweet

Keqing: I wish I never took this job.

Baizhu: you get used to that feeling

 

[Private channel; Aether and Lumine] July 2 2021, 11:45 pm

Gay gay: hey Lulu

Homosexual gay: yes Aeth

Gay gay: do you find it weird

Gay gay: us being apart so much

Homosexual gay: a little bit yeah

Gay gay: me too

Homosexual gay: do you miss home at all

Gay gay: of course, do you

Homosexual gay: sometimes

Homosexual gay: do you think Dain is okay on his own

Gay gay: he’s a whole adult so yeah

Homosexual gay: you know that’s not what i meant

Homosexual gay: i know us being here is the best decision

Homosexual gay: but i don’t feel at ease, like something bad is going to happen

Gay gay: hey now

Gay gay: have faith in our big brother he’s probably thought of literally everything

Homosexual gay: true

Gay gay: and besides, nothing bad can happen as long as we have each other

Homosexual gay: yeah, you’re right, thanks Aeth

Gay gay: as your older brother it’s my pleasure

Homosexual gay: by less than an hour

Gay gay: only someone younger and petty cares about the details

Homosexual gay: cunt

Gay gay: bitch

Homosexual gay: Sara is glaring at me again i gotta go to bed, don’t go getting gayer fruity boy

Gay gay: says you miss disaster lesbian

Gay gay: sleep well, see you at breakfast

Homosexual gay: see you

Chapter Text

[Staff] July 3 2021, 5:02 am

 

Kaeya: ITS SATURDAY YOU ALL KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS

Hu Tao: GAME NIGHT MOTHER FUCKERS

Jean: Why are you awake already?

Yanfei: that’s a hypocritical question

Jean: It is too early for that, no offense

Kaeya: tao and i havent been able to sleep since the staff meeting

Hu Tao: we love game night so much

Jean: Yes, I remember you both getting almost too excited back in your camper days.

Hu Tao: last year we both kept getting assigned to watching dumb kids

Kaeya: so were both so excited to get to participate for real

Mona: these two are in charge of watching campers

Mona: archons help us

Jean: Lisa and Ningguang picked the staff with the campers tonight very carefully to make sure everyone would be safe

Jean: Unfortunately this leaves the activity to be run by everyone else

Keqing: Why the fuck are you all awake

Yanfei: why are you awake roomie?

Keqing: First off your brightness is all the way up

Yanfei: makes it easier to read

Keqing: I can’t see how but okay

Keqing: Secondly, I forgot to turn off my notifications last night.

Hu Tao: rip

Keqing: Yanfei’s ringer is also all the way up

Yanfei: I don’t wanna miss anything!!

Keqing: Can I have a new cabin mate? Mine is deranged

Jean: We can’t switch anyone unfortunately

Diluc: what is life but suffering

Kaeya: going back to your emo phase brother

Diluc: y’all woke Venti up. He woke me up. Tired.

Venti: GAME NIIIIIIIIIIGHT

Jean: Everyone, I love the energy, but please save it for tonight. I’m going back to bed, and I suggest you all do the same.

Keqing: Yanfei please turn off your phone. I will throw it out the window

Hu Tao: do it no balls

Yanfei: you wonlasdlvj

Kaeya: oop

Yanfei: HELP SHES ATTACKING ME

Mona: get off your phone

Venti: bite her

Keqing: Yanfei’s phone has been silenced. See you all at breakfast.

Kaeya: oop

 

[Group A!!] July 3 2021, 9:46am

Ayaka: Hello yes why is Hu Tao vibrating?

Aether: she’s like a phone on vibrate

Barbara: How many notifications do you get that your phone acts like that?

Aether: oh no mine

Aether: i was thinking about my older brother’s his is going off all the time

Amber: he sounds very popular

Aether: it’s mostly hate messages

Fischl: and i oop

Sucrose: i

Sucrose: did fischl really just send that

Thoma: Maybe we’re all collectively dreaming?

Bennett: no this is reel

Aether: alright give us nothing else okay

Ayaka: Does no one know the answer to my question?

Thoma: Oh, she’s just excited for tonight’s activity

Hu Tao: its gonna be so fun!!!!!!

Noelle: Oh, I’m starting to get excited now!

Sucrose: ...from that?

Amber: to be fair Hu Tao has enough energy to run five hospitals for a year

Hu Tao: and still have enough to get pumped for tonight

Amber: what she said!

Ayaka: What exactly is happening tonight?

Thoma: Oh! That’s a secret, you’ll all find out later!

Razor: Hngo leik supise,;’;

Noelle: Don’t worry Razore, I don’t think it’s going to be a scary surprise!

Sucrose: what if it involves the ghost

Barbara: The staff would never put us in harm's way!

Hu Tao: we legally cant

Hu Tao: unfortunately

Aether: oop

Amber: oh no its spreading

 

[c] July 3 2021, 10:01 am

Sayu: mr ajax

Childe: wat is it

Sayu: why are you staring at the director

Klee: DO YOU THINK HE LOOKS WEIRD

Childe: no i thought he was talking to me

Sayu: for five minutes?

Diona: sus

Klee: AMOGUS?

Childe: no no among us

Sayu: Why are you trying to silence us clown man

Qiqi: Qiqi wants to know why we’re not doing anything

Sayu: ajax was staring at the camp director cause he hates him

Childe: when did i say that

Childe: i dont hate him what are you on

Klee: CAN WE DO SOMETHING KLEE IS BORED

Childe: were having outside time go find a stick or something

Qiqi: Qiqi likes sticks

Sayu: lets find some sticks

Sayu: to hit ajax

Diona: I will slay the kittypet

Childe: no no violence

Klee: BUT VIOLENCE IS AS FUN AS BOMBS

Klee: WHICH IS NOT ARSON

Childe: dont hit people with sticks its rude

Sayu: ur rude

Sayu: boom roasted

Childe: ur lucky u dont have a sibling for me to rat u out to

Diona: I’ll tell my brothers you wanted us to fight with the sticks

Childe: u cant blackmail me stop that

Childe: if u dont just play with the outside ill tell the head staff u were too bad to play tonights game

Sayu: what game

Childe: game in the dark in the woods

Klee: THAT SOUNDS FUN

Diona: Maybe i’ll find the local clan

Childe: so go play with sticks and rocks

Sayu: fine

 

[Senior Staff] July 3 2021, 12:17pm

Lisa: Ningguang where are you right now

Ningguang: eating lunch

Ningguang: why

Lisa: okay so someone is definitely breaking into the library

Baal: why now.

Ningguang: excuse me what now

Ningguang: are you serious

Jean: Are any of the campers not in the meal hall? Where are all the staff?

Ningguang: all the arts and academics staff are here and Beidou is beside me

Jean: Kaeya, Eula, and Kokomi are here as well, Ei? 

Baal: all of my staff are here.

Baizhu: I’m on my way back from the clinic i’ll check on the library to see whos in there

Baal: its the aliens.

Ningguang: i’m going to get Beidou to punch you

Baal: do it yourself coward.

Ningguang: you aren’t worth the effort. and i like watching my girlfriend fight people

Jean: Please don’t fight, we’re supposed to be setting an example for the younger staff and the campers!

Lisa: jean dear, you let eula and kaeya duel on sea base

Jean:

Jean: Don’t let the campers see

Ningguang: Beidou is prepared to fight you if you agree Ei Baal.

Baal: its either ei or baal dont fucking combine them.

Baal: i will fight your jock girlfriend if the aliens dont show themselves tonight.

Ningguang: we have a deal

Baizhu: So about the library

Lisa: who broke into my library

Baizhu: Raccoons. Like ten of them at least. They’re everywhere in here

Ningguang: what the hell we locked the doors how did they get in

Lisa: who locked up last

Ningguang: Albedo

Jean: He doesn’t seem like someone to forget to lock a door…

Baizhu: anyone with a masters at 17 wouldn’t be that dumb

Baizhu: only one arts staff comes to mind in that regard

Ningguang: i’ll look into this quickly

Baizhu: I’ll start the anti-raccoon procedures

 

[Staff] July 3 2021, 12:31pm

Beidou: yo who left the library last

Albedo: I believe it was me, why?

Ningguang: door was left unlocked and the raccoons got in

Yae: Again?

Kokomi: This has happened before?

Jean: Sadly, it’s a frequent occurrence. Albedo, are you sure you locked the doors?

Albedo: Yes, absolutely. I tested the doors and everything.

Lisa: This doesn’t add up

Childe: hey y r u ditching the idea that the little smart guy forgot

Yanfei: I sense a disturbance

Venti: childe youre an idiot

Lisa: you two explain

Venti: ed sheran forgot his phone in the bathroom in there so i lent him my keys to go get it

Diluc: group c wasn’t even in the library today why was his phone in there

Childe: its the best one to record my tiktoks

Beidou: oh my archons 

Ningguang: suddenly everything makes sense

Baal: childe see me later about this.

Childe: WHAT ABOUT VENTI

Venti: rat man

Baal: i couldnt care less about what he did.

Hu Tao: lmao

Baizhu: The raccoons are gone now, but it seems there were some damages

Albedo: They didn’t get into the lab, did they?

Baizhu: No, not the art room either

Venti: wait what about the music room

Yae: Were there any damages in the natural display room

Mona: please tell me my astrology gear is still okay

Keqing: What kind of summer camp is this?

Ganyu: It used to be a scholarship camp, but the director before Zhongli made it open to everyone!

Eula: My older relatives did once attend this camp. They withdrew all financial support when the lower classes were welcomed in. I return each year as my own form of vengeance!

Venti: it used to be pretentious lmao

Baizhu: None of the learning rooms were trampled

Yae: What a relief

Baizhu: I cannot say the same for the library and the two offices

Yae: I should’ve seen this coming

Ningguang: i’ll check on my belongings after lunch

Jean: Send a list of all damaged items to the Senior Staff chat, and maybe Zhongli can see if any of it can be replaced

Childe: ...is it too late to say sorry

Baal: yes.

Xiao: is it still safe for group b to go for their nature room block

Ganyu: Right, we’re supposed to have a block with Yae! Miko?

Yae: We’re good bring them when we’re done here

Thoma: Baizhu are you in the mess hall yet?

Baizhu: what happened to Bennett now

Beidou: damn not even a week in and he already knows

Hu Tao: aya he bit his tongue while eating 

Hu Tao: its bleeding quite a bit

Yanfei: how

Yanfei: how hard was he biting

Baizhu: I’ll see what i can do

 

[Group B] July 3 2021, 4:10pm

Gorou: Not to sound like a vegan but why did the nature room have so many taxidermies?

Xiangling: YOURE A VEGAN?!

Xingqiu: he said not to be a vegan dumbass

Yoimiya: You dress like a vegan so you can’t talk!

Lumine: nice one Miya

Xingqiu: how can someone dress vegan

Sara: Look in the mirror.

Xinyan: BUUUUUUUUUURN

Gorou: No I’m not a vegan

Gorou: The taxidermies just freaked me out

Ganyu: One of the old benefactors was really into hunting, that was originally his trophy room!

Lumine: that’s mental

Gorou: Eat the rich

Chongyun: are the rich vegan safe

Xiangling: Okay if any of you are vegans you need to tell me

Xingqiu: got something against vegans

Xingqiu: sounds racist

Lumine: how

Lumine: how is that racist

Xiangling: Like some are chill but my dad’s restaurant gets a lot of protestors because we have a limited vegan menu 

Sara: Oh so you don’t like the crazies.

Xiangling: ...pretty much

Ganyu: While I’m not a vegan, both Xiao and I are vegetarians! 

Gorou: Oh shit really

Yoimiya: Cool! Can I ask why??

Xiao: no.

Ganyu: One of our father’s exwives was one, so we all tried to follow the diet for her. Our older brother and father went back to meat eventually but we stuck with it!

Ganyu: Sorry Xiao

Xiao: its fine yu.

Lumine: oh is that why you both get those green trays at meals

Ganyu: Correct! We use different tray colours to make it easier to give the right food to people with restrictions.

Chongyun: so that’s why mine is blue

Kazuha: What does blue mean?

Chongyun: I can’t eat spicy food, my body can’t handle it

Xingqiu: are you serious

Xiangling: Your life is so sad I’m so sorry

Chongyun: it’s not a big deal

Xiao: phones away now its sports time.

Sara: Thank the archons, that would’ve gone on forever.

Lumine: i saw Xiangling typing a huge paragraph

Kazuha: She is rather passionate about food

Gorou: Still,

Yoimiya: ARE WE PLAYING FRISBEE?!

Xinyan: Fuck Yeah!!!

 

[Staff] July 3 2021, 6:17pm

Jean: There is less than five minutes until the campers will be split into their groups! All staff members should be heading towards their assigned positions, as the event will begin at six thirty on the dot! If anyone has forgotten what they’re doing, feel free to ask for a refresher!

Keqing: I missed the portion of the meeting that explained the event as a whole, could you explain it one last time?

Mona: how did you miss that part

Baizhu: That was when one of the group c kids climbed onto the roof of their cabin

Mona: oh right

Kaeya: wait that was real

Kaeya: who was it

Childe: the small sassy one

Keqing: Her name is Sayu

Childe: yeah her

Rosaria: i have many questions but i doubt ill get answers

Jean: We’re on a time limit, everyone, keep that in mind!

Jean: And as for an explanation, I can do a quick one! The groups will go out into the woods to search for the rest of the staff. It’s like hide and seek except some of the hiders are moving around! When a group finds a staff member, the group leader will take a little token from them and keep it in the little bags we handed out. At eight sharp everyone returns to the cabin rings to count up the winners!

Keqing: Oh that’s it? A dark scavenger hunt?

Yanfei: wait it’s July why is it dark at 6

Diluc: overcast day

Mona: well- eh, close enough

Lisa: Baizhu, Zhongli, and I will stay here incase of emergency

Jean: Remember to use the groupchat if you need to! Try to stay off your phones if you can

Hu Tao: can we know the groups

Baal: why do you need to know.

Venti: why not

Rosaria: thats an awful reason

Baal: ...true. someone send the group lists.

Rosaria: what just happened

Kaeya: idk but it was epic

Lisa: here are the groups~ (Rosaria: Aether, Ayaka, Xingqiu), (Xiao: Lumine, Sara, Diona), (Diluc: Chongyun, Barbara, Qiqi), (Miko: Kazuha, Fischl, Klee), (Kokomi: Amber, Yoimiya, Xinyan), (Thoma: Sayu, Noelle, Bennett), and (Ganyu: Razor, Gorou, Sucrose, Xiangling)

Childe: whos miko again

Yae: Thats my name you orange mutsy sloth

Childe: why do so many of you have like 8 names

Beidou: he says having 3 names

Hu Tao: GETIM BEIDOU

Eula: I cannot fathom how you fail to grasp the concept of cultural differences in name order. 

Childe: i failed geography

Rosaria: how is that related

Jean: Is everyone ready?

Lisa: all set up at the start deary~

Venti: anyone who isn’t hiding yet is a beta cuck

Hu Tao: well said pal

Baal: that was literally the worst thing ive ever read.

Jean: I’m counting this as a yes! Let the game begin!

Kaeya: the woods are so quiet

Kaeya: too quiet

Mona: stop tempting fate to deal you a bad hand

Venti: wait i hear screaming

Lisa: wait I can hear it too…

Baizhu: That kinda sounds like…

Childe: HELP THE RACCOONS FOUND ME AND CHASED ME UP A TREE IM STUCK

Beidou: lmaooooooo

Beidou: take a selfie worstie 

Kaeya: worstie i love it

Kaeya: im stealing it

Childe: HELP ME

Baal: cant raccoons climb.

Childe: THEYRE TAUNTING ME SOMEONE HELP

Baal: must we?

Jean: Yes! Who is the closest regulations staff to Childe’s position?

Childe: about that

Albedo: He ignored the basic boundaries request.

Jean: 

Jean: He’s on his own.

Childe: NO WAIT

Zhongli: Childe, send me your location and I will come assist you. -Zhongli

Baal: no let him suffer.

Childe: ID DO THAT BUT I DONT KNOW WHERE I AM

Ningguang: let the ghost get him

Beidou: brilliant idea babe 

Childe: NO IM TOO YOUNG TO DIE

Keqing: You won’t die asshole. I’m going to try to find him.

Mona: how

Keqing: My father trained me to hunt. His musk is strong enough that I should be able to track him.

Ganyu: Wait I think that might be what two of my campers are smelling!

Childe: I SHOWER I DONT SMELL THAT BAD

Yae: The facts beg to differ

Lisa: is Razor smelling something strong Ganyu?

Ganyu: Yes, he and Gorou have been making faces for the last minute. I don’t want to say that it’s because of Childe without proof…

Keqing: I’ve caught his trail, western half of the woods, close to the sports shed.

Ganyu: Okay yeah they smell him, that’s where we are.

Kaeya: this is too fucking funny

Diluc: keep laughing and my group will find you faster

Kaeya: suddenly i have no humour

Diluc: we will find you

Yanfei: sibling rivalry lmao

Rosaria: more like sibling hatred

Rosaria: im surprised diluc hasnt killed kaeya yet

Kaeya: oh he tried

Kokomi: He what-

Mona: honestly not surprised

Yae: Did you read that in your stars?

Mona: no Diluc and I were in the same group one summer hes real aggressive when mad

Kaeya: bitch hit me in the head with a metal bat when we were 10

Diluc: it literally fell from my hands your memory is ass

Keqing: Ganyu why are your campers walking like that?

Ganyu: Sucrose mentioned how a wolf girl from her elementary school used to walk and Gorou and Razor are imitating it. They’re not hurting anyone?

Keqing: Yeah it just threw me off guard that’s all

Childe: HURRY UP AND SAVE ME THEY LOOK HUNGRY

Yae: Raccoons wouldn’t eat you

Hu Tao: wait are they like plant eaters or something

Yae: I meant Childe specifically

Venti: lmao rip cheeto hair

Xiao: how do you get a child to stop hissing at people.

Diluc: is it Diona

Xiao: yes.

Diluc: call her by her clan name or whatever

Thoma: Still not over the fact that Diluc’s sister is a furry

Hu Tao: its so fucking funny

Thoma: As funny as my group finding you next?

Hu Tao: id like to see you try!!

Keqing: Okay we’ve found Childe, now for the racc

Eula: How ominous.

Venti: why the hell did she stop

Keqing: Razor and Gorou barked at the raccoons and scared them off.

Mona: thats hilariousfkadbhfv

Childe: IM SAVED THANK YOU

Ganyu: Now that that’s over, I’d like to kindly as both of you to hand over a chipplease!

Childe: is it too late to bring the raccoons back

 

[Group B] July 3 2021, 7:03pm

Xingqiu: is anyone else cold suddenly

Lumine: it’s probably your little femboy shorts tbh

Xinyan: Wait yeah why are they so short

Xinyan: You dont even have an ass to show off

Xingqiu: fuck off my ass is heavenly

Sara: Wouldn’t know. I try not to look at you, I’m afraid I might catch homophobia.

Yoimiya: Wow that one was so good!!

Kazuha: The winds are picking up, and the scent of temperatures dropping is being carried along

Xiangling: yeah actually i’m a little cold now

Lumine: wait do y’all see fog as well

Xingqiu: see it wasnt my great shorts

Lumine: not enough information

Gorou: How are everyone’s groups doing?

Yoimiya: We’re doing great!!! We’re taking a little break to plan further!!

Xinyan: Not that we’ll tell any of you!

Lumine: a toddler is hissing at us and Xiao looks murderous

Xingqiu: my group is going to win

Lumine: Aether told me you’re slowing them down cause you don’t wanna get dirty

Xingqiu: damn that rat boy ugh

Lumine: i will skin you and wear you as a gay coat

Kazuha: Chongyun has been rather silent

Xiangling: oh shit i hear strange whistling oh god

Sara: No way. Say sike. Say it’s not the fucking ghost.

Yoimiya: HOLY SHIT ITS THE GHOST

 

[Staff] July 3 2021, 7:19pm

Eula: In my defence, no one mentioned that we were prohibited from climbing the trees.

Rosaria: youre allowed to climb trees just not one of the tallest trees in the whole forest

Eula: Again, I was unaware. I was having what the hip would call a girlboss slay moment.

Venti: my eyes hurt

Kokomi: Hello yes what do we do if the ghost appears? A quick answer would be appreciated!

Baal: aliens.

Albedo: Send me your location I have a theory.

Lisa: Wait Ninggaung didnt come to argue with Ei about the ghost

Baal: alien

Lisa: Something is wrong

Jean: She wouldn’t be irresponsible enough to disappear like this, right?

Jean: Hold on wait the ghost showed up?

Kokomi: Well something is here and it’s trying to trap us in tree roots and branches.

Baizhu: So its not the rock ghost

Mona: we have more than one ghost

Childe: probably a whole gang of them

Mona: stop trying to jinx us all

Lisa: Has anyone seen Ningguang in the last twenty minutes or so? At all?

Yanfei: this silence is not comforting

Jean: Beidou? Even you haven’t seen her?

Yae: Double yikes

Thoma: Is it bad that I hope they’re making out?

Baal: so we have the alien and two missing staff. tonight sucks.

Diluc: fuck two of my campers ran off

Rosaria: and it just keeps getting better

Diluc: if anyone sees Chongyun and Barbara please tell me

Jean: Barbara is missing?!

Albedo: Good news, I got the ghost to leave Kokomi alone. Bad news, we can’t find Amber.

Baizhu: What the hell is happening

Mona: i just heard a wispy hee hee i think one of the ghosts is michael jackson

Zhongli: Everyone keep an eye out for any of the missing people, and try to steer clear of any signs of ghosts. I will be heading into the forest to help search. -Zhongli

Baizhu: hold up i think i found amber

Kokomi: Really? Oh thank the archons!

Baizhu: she’s on the roof of the mess hall

Kokomi: ...What?

Lisa: She just appeared up there like out of nowhere

Xiao: im bringing my group back one of them just got a real bad nosebleed.

Baizhu: May I ask who?

Xiao: lumine

Jean: Oh dear,

Beidou: WHAT THE HELL JUST HAPPENED

Beidou: WHERE AM I

Ganyu: Beidou? Are you okay?

Beidou: I DONT KNOW

Yae: Take a deep breath and tell us what you know

Lisa: don’t push yourself

Beidou: one second i was kissing ning while waiting for campers to find us, the next i wake up somewhere small and dark

Hu Tao: like a coffin

Eula: Not a good time.

Keqing: This doesn’t make any sense at all!

Beidou: youre telling me

Albedo: Beidou, please be as loud as possible for a few seconds so we can find you.

Ganyu: Oh, I heard that! From the direction of the sports shed!

Beidou: wait am i stuck in the empty ball box wtf

Kaeya: just ran into Chongyun and Barbara

Jean: Are they okay?

Kaeya: chongyun says he heard a ghost call out for him to follow them and Barbara tried to drag him back to the group and i guess she scraped her arm but shes fine now

Diluc: i’m coming to get them

Ganyu: Beidou has been released!

Beidou: hey wait wheres ning

Lisa: about that,

Ningguang: someone please come get me

Beidou: WHERE ARE YOU MY LOVE ILL SAVE YOU

Ningguang: middle of the lake in a little raft

Albedo: How interesting. 

Rosaria: bringing my group back too we got another nose bleed

Jean: Please don’t say it’s Aether,

Rosaria: its aether

Baal: everyone was found right? 

Zhongli: Thankfully, yes. I regret to say this, but it would be best if we cut the night short. We will do a camp wide activity tomorrow afternoon to make up for this. -Zhongli

Yanfei: well if everythings all sorted ill turn in for the night

Thoma: OAVBODHVBS 

Hu Tao: did a ghost get thoma of no

Thoma: NO BENNETT WAS ON FIRE FOR A SECOND THERE

Diluc: this night has been too long

Xiao: im going to bed immediately. dont wanna deal with this shit

Baal: i fear the aliens curse is worse than i thought

Ningguang: it’s very obviously not aliens just leave it be

Lisa: order has been restored

Chapter Text

[Staff] July 4 2021, 10:10am

Thoma: So are we gonna talk about what happened last night?

Thoma: No? Okay gotcha

Thoma: Did y’all know Childe sleeps with his socks on

Childe: bruh 

Eula: I can see a heathen like him doing that. Still atrocious, just not surprising. 

Kaeya: ugh i feel ill now

Hu Tao: wait guys but consider

Hu Tao: just means we dont have to look at his gross hettie toes

Childe: what does being straight have to do with my toes

Yanfei: i bet you don’t wash between them

Keqing: Okay, come on, even he isn’t dumb enough to skip washing between his toes

Childe:

Keqing: What the actual fuck

Xiao: dude. 

Childe: the water goes there anyways

Beidou: bruh thats like antilogic

Baal: thats not even a word.

Beidou: youre not even a word

Yae: Damn lmao

Baal: ...miko,

Yae: What? She’s not wrong, dear

Venti: wait dear

Diluc: Childe is going to get athletes foot before the summer ends im calling it now

Childe: i will not

Kokomi: No, you will

Yae: Rip Childes toes even Kokomi agrees

Venti: wait dear

Ningguang: can one of his cabinmates confirm if he’s changed his socks

Xiao: are you sure you can handle the answer.

Ningguang: no but for my mental health i need to know

Thoma: Maybe twice but that’s about it

Hu Tao: gross wtf

Venti: NO EVERYONE SHUT UP. DEAR?!

Yae: What is it Venti?

Venti: since when do you call ei dear

Beidou: wait is he onto something

Rosaria: i smell sapphic activity

Albedo: Are you perhaps a gay bloodhound?

Rosaria: yes

Venti: YAE MIKO DID YOU FUCK MY COUSIN

Baal: barbatos. shut the fuck up.

Kaeya: BARBATOS LMAO

Thoma: Oh wow she brought out the real name

Childe: ur real name is barbatos how lame

Venti: shut up ajax

Venti: ei i swear to fuck if you got a gf and didnt tell your fav cousin

Baal: i told ganyu.

Venti: WHAT

Ganyu: Oh, I thought she already told you and Zhongli! I’m sorry Venti

Keqing: Why are you apologizing you literally did nothing wrong

Yae: We’ve been together for two months now

Lisa: well congratulations to both of you

Baal: everyone stop talking about it its none of your business

Yae: She’s shy~

Jean: I’m so happy for you both! As long as it doesn’t impede on your work, that is!

Beidou: hey why are some of you looking at me

Xiao: you admitted that you were making out rather than participate last night.

Mona: girl you spend most of your day being gay for your gf youre not slick

Beidou: fuck off i do my work

Eula: She is not telling falsities, my friends. Beidou pulls her weight well, and simply uses the extra time she gets when finished to act foolish. Slay, queen.

Beidou: thank you weird modern eula

Hu Tao: hard to believe that fucking beidou is a functional lesbian

Mona: how long have they been together i think thats important

Beidou: uh 4 years

Thoma: That explains it

Ningguang: aren’t you all supposed to be working

Childe: oh fuck right we have dodgeball with kaeya rn

Diluc: wait a minute

Diluc: just you and him with those four kids

Childe: ye

Kaeya: of course

Jean: Wait no that can’t be right, I swear I-

Jean: 

Jean: I’ve made a huge mistake.

Yanfei: hey I’m free since the summer class I’m taking was cancelled today I can go help

Hu Tao: wait youre willingly doing summer school while at camp

Yanfei: yes

Albedo: I have a night class as well. I don’t see the problem here

Venti: were surrounded by nerds

Childe: gross ew ew nerds blech

Baal: me when i remember theres a hettie in the chat.

Diluc: and this is why regulations is the best department

 

[Senior Staff] July 4 2021, 1:09pm

Ningguang: so what is happening with the new activity tonight

Jean: Zhongli is probably super close to having it all worked out, there’s no need to worry!

Ningguang: oh naive naive Jean

Baal: hes probably done by now he thinks this kind of thing is fun.

Lisa: Is that what he’s like at family events

Baal: yes.

Jean: How about we simply ask him how far along he is? If he got stumped, any of us with a free minute could help out

Ningguang: all of you are blind

Baizhu: In a legal sense I am my prescription is rough

Baizhu: @Zhongli how you doing pal

Zhongli: Hello peers. While I am blessed that you all have so much faith in me and my work, I am afraid that I have some bad news. It appears that I have forgotten about the bonus activity tonight. Nothing has been planned so far. I am so sorry but I will be needing help. -Zhongli

Jean:

Lisa: Ning are you psychic

Ningguang: no i’ve just done too many group projects with this man

Baal: oh sometimes hes like this instead.

Jean: Alright so we need to think quick here. Who’s free?

Baizhu: Literally none of us and you know it

Ningguang: ugh lets just get some of the other staff to do it 

Lisa: each department chooses one rep and then we leave them to plan it

Baizhu: brilliant plan

Jean: It’s a miracle anything gets done here.

 

[Group B] July 4 2021, 2:52pm

Xiao: who did it.

Xinyan: Huh

Xiao: dont act coy you all know what happened.

Xiao: so who fucking did it.

Xingqiu: omg he swore im telling

Xiangling: Hes glaring at you so hard

Xiangling: Femboys life flashed before his eyes

Ganyu: Please forgive Xiao, he has been working on his temper.

Lumine: damn i’d hate to see what he was like before

Sara: Do you have a death wish?

Lumine: lmao sometimes

Ganyu: However, his question still stands. I cannot guarantee that the perpetrator will go unpunished, but honesty always leads to the right path! So please, just admit that you did it.

Yoimiya: Uh is anyone else still confused?

Gorou: Yeah im lost

Xiao: stop acting innocent we know you all know.

Lumine: know what 

Ganyu: Hold on, I think they genuinely don’t know what we’re talking about

Xiao: how is that even possible

Kazuha: Perhaps you could give us a hint? We have nothing to go by right now.

Ganyu: Someone smashed the mirrors in the bathrooms by the lake.

Chongyun: wait how many impact sites were on the glass

Xiao: now is not the time for ghost nonsense.

Ganyu: It looks like someone punched each mirror

Lumine: my theory is it was the weird ginger staff dude he looks like he gets white boy rage

Xingqiu: yeah he has cishet energy i agree

Yoimiya: Wait is the world ending- why are they agreeing this feels wrong!!

Xiao: it couldnt have been anyone but you.

Xiao: no one else was there today.

Gorou: Oh, right, cause we had canoeing with Kazu’s sister

Lumine: oh in that case i think it was xingqiu

Xingqiu: i believe lumine did it

Chongyun: How come they don’t get along?

Xinyan: Its a mystery

Xiangling: Wait what if we solve this mystery

Ganyu: Wait but we’re trying to solve a mystery already! The mirrors!

Chongyun: the ghosts did it boom done 

Ganyu: I-

Xiao: okay good enough for me.

Yoimiya: Yeah! We can find clues and figure out why they don’t get along!! Solving Gang!

Sara: You were like two steps away from that one show with the talking wolf.

Yoimiya: He was a dog, silly!

Yoimiya: I can be the one who explains things cause my dad always says that i’m great at telling stories but he could always be flattering me too much since hes deaf but i like to think im very good at telling stories yknow? So i’d do that!!

Xiangling: Damn yeah go for it 

Xiangling: I can be the foodie?

Sara: Guys, if you’re going to copy Scooby-Doo, you’ll be leaving some of us out. And we don’t have a dog.

Gorou: I can be the dog

Lumine: furry behaviour

Gorou: Were you lurking this whole time

Lumine: yeah this is funny

Xinyan: I can write the theme song and play solving music! 

Xiangling: Yeah and Chongyun is the ghost expert and Kazuha is our like riddle solver and Sara can be the leader! Come up with our plans!

Sara: Why me? I don’t care why those two fruit smoothies don’t get along.

Chongyun: would you trust any of us to lead instead?

Sara:

Sara: You’ve got me convinced.

Ganyu: I’m so happy to see you all teaming up like this!

Kazuha: A lovely sentiment, though it has brought a less lovely companion…

Ganyu: However your investigation will have to wait! We have an art block in five minutes and we shouldn’t be late!

Xiangling: Damn,

Kazuha: Air conditioning my beloved, our reunion awaits,

 

[Group A!!] July 4 2021, 4:56pm

Hu Tao: happy murica day

Barbara: Huh?

Noelle: Was it a holiday today? 

Thoma: I didn’t think so? Tao?

Hu Tao: :)

Amber: why am i scared suddenly

Fischl: ooh spooky!

Aether: jhbafvldjf fischl?

Fischl: this is bennett! my phone stopped working so fisch let me use hers for now!

Sucrose: Can I have a look at your phone later? 

Aether: don’t you study plants?

Sucrose: my school has a mandatory comp sci class so i know some stuff

Noelle: What kind of school do you attend? I’ve never heard of that kind of rule before!

Sucrose: Dragonspine Academy

Thoma: Wait are you serious? 

Sucrose: ...yes?

Hu Tao: aint that the smart school for smart people

Sucrose: Well, essentially yes, but its not a big deal

Aether: uh it sounds like one

Sucrose: Where do the rest of you go then?

Amber: not a private academy

Noelle: I’m in a public school!

Barbara: Same here

Ayaka: While my school is not a private school, we do have uniforms.

Fischl: fisch and i are both homeschooled and razor says hes in a special learning program 

Aether: yo i’m homeschooled too!

Aether: my older brother teaches my sisters and i

Ayaka: How interesting.

Thoma: Damn that’s wild everyone

Hu Tao: homeschool gang woo

Amber: Sorry to change the subject but does anyone know what were doing after supper

Thoma: Oh! A game to make up for last night

Aether: yeah last night sure was something

Barbara: I almost thought your nose would never stop bleeding, I was really worried there!

Aether: lmao thanks

Hu Tao: if that ever does happen you can rest easy knowing id give your family a discount if you went through our funeral home

Aether: that does kinda help

Amber: how

 

[Staff] July 4 2021, 7:12pm

Beidou: okay who chose horses knights and cavaliers 

Mona: rosaria, eula and i got to choose

Rosaria: why do you have a problem with the game

Beidou: ill only have a problem if i cant team up with ning

Jean: Since Kokomi volunteered to run the game with Eula, any staff that also wish to participate can! As long as the campers are having fun, that is

Hu Tao: THOMA

Thoma: TAO!

Kaeya: if neither of them was painfully gay id think they were dating

Venti: is there such a thing as being too gay

Beidou: yes and my example of too gay is you

Beidou: and mr closeted butterball

Childe: who dat

Diluc: how are you this dense

Childe: wait a minute

Childe: HEY IM NOT GAY

Yae: Yes dont you all remember hes homophobic

Yanfei: oh i remember now!

Childe: IM NOT HOMOPHOBIC EITHER

Thoma: He’s homphobic on the inside to himself 

Xiao: bet hed be transphobic too.

Childe: I AM NOT

Childe: YO ANY TRANS PEOPLE HERE I CAN KISS TO PROVE IM NOT TRANSPHOBIC

Eula: That sure escalated.

Yae: Well how come you didnt try to kiss a girl to prove youre straight

Hu Tao: check and mate

Childe: ur all literally gay

Baal: you cant just ask people that. dumbass.

Lisa: Oh are we harassing Ajax again? 

Kaeya: lmaoooo using his birth name

Jean: I don’t really think we should be all ganging up on him this much,

Diluc: so we just chose someone else this time that will solve this

Jean: No, wait, you can’t

Venti: sure we can its easy

Jean: No I meant not now! It’s game time!

Ningguang: time to hide in my office

Beidou: :/

Ningguang: ...we better win,

Hu Tao: gross romance

Venti: oh xiao~

Kaeya: do yall smell simp cause i sure do

Xiao: no im with ganyu.

Ganyu: Actually, I’m so sorry, but I was going to play with Keqing! I forgot to tell you, I’m sorry.

Xiao: i no longer have a sister.

Venti: dont worry xiao well make a great team

Venti: like romeo and juliet

Xiao: they both died.

Venti: but they were in love

Xiao: were not dating?

Kaeya: lmaooooo

Childe: who wants to be my partner

Yanfei: sorry Albedo and I agreed earlier

Baal: Miko.

Kaeya: my darling brother

Diluc: only so I don’t end up with mr musk

Childe: guys i wanna play too someone be my partner

Childe: ill pay

Mona: done and done how much are we talking here

Childe: uh idk like 400 mora or 800 if we win

Mona: we have a deal. victory will be ours

Lisa: Do you want to play, Jeanie?

Jean: If you wouldn’t mind,

Lisa: Of course, cutie~

Baizhu: I’ll be on standby

Rosaria: my partner is ac. im going inside

Kokomi: This is going to be so fun!

Eula: If anyone dares break a rule, you can rest assured that I will have vengeance. 

Kaeya: im almost glad shes back to this now i missed it

Eula: Yas queen.

Kaeya: i spoke too soon

 

[The B in Group B stands for bomosexual] July 4 2021, 9:19pm

Lumine: wait when did we get a new group b chat

Xingqiu: i made it so we dont kill ganyu by talking about ass

Sara: No more ass, I’m begging.

Kazuha: Yes, I’d rather not talk about ass anymore

Xingqiu: it doesnt have to be ass you dingpots

Xingqiu: we can say whatever we want and never get in trouble

Chongyun: pylon

Xinyan: What now

Chongyun: he said to say what we want and its a fun word

Gorou: He’s not wrong

Lumine: what kind of weird shit are yall gonna say now that we have free reign

Xiangling: Do you think planets have balls

Sara: Excuse me? 

Xiangling: Like I know they don’t have dicks but like do they have balls

Xinyan: I don’t think so?

Yoimiya: what would planet balls even look like

Sara: Why would a planet even need balls?

Xingqiu: you see when a planet loves another planet they do something you should only look up on incognito mode

Gorou: Dude are you giving us a sex talk

Gorou: About the fucking planets

Chongyun: I didn’t think planets were made like that…

Xiangling: theyre not Xingqiu is just being a little bitch boy

Xingqiu: just for that im continuing

Xingqiu: since both the planets arent gross hetties they only way for them to make a baby planet is through a system commonly known as abo

Lumine: someone kick him from the chat i don’t wanna read anymore

Kazuha: ...I’m muting this for tonight I need to go call my parents for emotional comfort

Chongyun: wait what is it and why does everyone hate it

Sara: Xingqiu I swear to the archons if you answer that I will make sure your body is never found in one piece.

Xingqiu: google it yunyun

Chongyun: Right I can do that, thank you Xingqiu

Gorou: How dare you

Xingqiu: its for his own good

Xinyan: Is it?

Lumine: hey guys your mystery is solved i hate him because hes a little prick

Chongyun: Xingqiu,, why did you,,

Yoimiya: lmao the karen just ruined his chances 

Xingqiu: SHIT I DIDNT THINK OF THAT

Xingqiu: yunyun let me make it up to you somehow

Chongyun: Will you help me hunt down the ghosts?

Xingqiu: yes of course anything for you

Kazuha: Wow that’s very friendly of you to offer, Xingqiu
Chongyun: Yes, he is a very good friend :)

Sara: Was that girly little shriek who I think it was?

Kazuha: Yep

Lumine: lmao Aether says he thought it was one of the little kids

Xingqiu: you are all the worst i will be mentioning you in grave detail to the therapist im hiring because of all your bullying

Chapter Text

[Private channel; Jean and Barbara] July 5 2021, 12:02am

Dandelion: Happy Birthday Barbara!!

Dandelion: I can’t believe my little sister is all grown up, the big sixteen!

Dandelion: Zhongli has approved my request to take you into the city after lunch today to celebrate with dad too

Dandelion: I’m going to make sure this is your best birthday yet, mark my words!

Songbird: Jean!! You’re too sweet, you didn’t need to do all this for me! I would’ve been happy to even spend an hour with you,,

Songbird: You’re the best big sister ever,, thank you

Dandelion: Don’t thank me yet, your birthday’s barely started! You deserve nothing but the best, so the best you shall receive!

Songbird: I’m tearing up oh archons, you’re too good for me sister,

Dandelion: Nonsense

Dandelion: Now back to bed, you’ve got a big day ahead of you!

Songbird: Okay, okay! Love you Jean

Dandelion: Love you Barb

 

[Senior Staff] July 5 2021, 7:19am

Zhongli: Since today marks the first day of the second week of camp, the rotation of break days begins. Just as we discussed, I have drawn the section names from a hat to determine the order this year. Lisa will be included in Arts and Academics, Baizhu with Regulations, and myself with the group staff. This years order is as follows: Athletics, Group, Regulations, Arts and Academics. Jean, I hope you and your staff enjoy your day off. Any scheduled athletics activities will be substituted for nature activities lead by Regulations. -Zhongli

Lisa: how long do you think it took him to write that

Ningguang: two hours and twenty minutes

Baal: for once i agree with ningguang.

Ningguang: don’t think i forgot our deal, you still need to fight Beidou

Baal: eventually.

Jean: Oh, this lines up perfectly! I will be taking my sister in my van this afternoon, so please only reach out to me if my staff do anything illegal

Baizhu: Ah yes it’s little Barbara’s birthday

Lisa: oh yeah you’re right

Lisa: i’ll take care of everything for you today cutie, don’t worry~

Jean: Oh, well thank you Lisa! That’s so kind of you

Ningguang: yes i’m sure she has no ulterior motives

Lisa: someone’s being bold today.

Baal: were there any sports blocks today.

Jean: Just one! Group B was supposed to play volleyball right after lunch

Baal: well now theyre doing the forest course with rosaria.

Baizhu: Oh archons you’re going to kill them

 

[Staff] July 5 2021, 9:12am

Kaeya: yo can i borrow someones car

Baal: no.

Jean: Sorry, using it!

Xiao: zhongli would say no.

Kaeya: fuck

Kaeya: diluc gimme dads keys

Diluc: no? fuck you?

Childe: ew

Diluc: not literally you fucknut

Mona: i hate all of you for this conversation

Hu Tao: it was literally just mr mcgriddle

Yae: That’s a new one

Kaeya: someone let me use a car please

Rosaria: weve all seen you drive dumbass

Ningguang: you nearly killed me. twice.

Kaeya: in my defense venti sharted

Venti: IT WAS JUST A FART

Venti: I DID NOT SHIT MY PANTS

Kaeya: lies

Venti: SOMEONE ELSE PLEASE DEFEND MY HONOUR LIKE 8 OF YOU WERE THERE

Thoma: Sorry little man, I’m pretty sure you sharted

Hu Tao: little poop boy

Venti: betrayal

Childe: how come you all bully me when venti literally shit his pants once

Xiao: its more fun.

Venti: xiao i promise i only farted i didnt shit my pants please believe me im sobbing and crying 

Hu Tao: and shitting

Venti: ALJDHVBODHV ILL KILL YOU

Baal: are you sure about that.

Venti: 

Venti: ILL metaphorically KILL YOU

Xiao: as if id believe those dumbasses.

Venti: im so relieved thank you xiao i could kiss you

Xiao: whatever.

Yae: Ouch

Yanfei: a moment of respectful silence

Keqing: This conversation was a rollercoaster that never should’ve been built

Kaeya: wait you reminded me of my goal

Kaeya: SOMEONE CARE PLEASE

Thoma: Why do you need a car

Kaeya: sports staff is gonna hit up the mall today

Ganyu: But why are you asking to borrow a car? It’s completely unnecessary

Kaeya: huh

Diluc: you’re the biggest dunce in the universe

Keqing: Isn’t Beidou going with you?

Kaeya: ye why

Albedo: Excuse my language, but

Albedo: Dude.

Jean: Kaeya, you don’t need a car. Beidou drove here, remember?

Kaeya: SHE WHAT

Beidou: i was waiting to see how long this would take

Lisa: Are you sure you weren’t doing something else~

Ningguang: if you are implying we were making out in our cabin before breakfast

Ningguang: you are absolutely correct

Beidou: hell yeah babe

Kaeya: damn bitch you just let me suffer like that i see how it is

Hu Tao: imagine not being single couldnt be me or the homies

Venti: cries harder

Kaeya: im waiting on a sugar daddy with worsening health problems

Hu Tao: me and thoma are bonded in our single gay solidarity

Thoma: Haha very funny

Hu Tao: ?? not joking??

Thoma: Bro you do know I have a bf right?

Hu Tao: WHAT

Rosaria: the dumbasses are all having revelations today

Thoma: I showed you the photos of us on our first date?

Hu Tao: i thought that was a school friend

Diluc: i can’t with any of you today i’m shutting my phone off

Beidou: sports gang meet me at the alcor in twenty minutes i just gotta say bye to my gf and bro

Eula: Understood. Anyone who is late will feel the wrath of my vengeance!

Eula: Also I call shotgun.

Kokomi: What does the Alcor look like?

Beidou: shes a beauty on wheels a vehicle worthy of the archons able to weather any storm and face any challenge head on

Ningguang: it’s the purple subaru forester

Ganyu: Does it still have the red seat covers? That always smell like the sea?

Keqing: It did on the ride here

Beidou: and is there anything wrong with that

Ningguang: no love, anyone that says differently is jealous

Kaeya: can i have the aux

Beidou: no kazuha made me a mix of sea shanties anyone that complains can walk

Venti: little man has good taste

 

[Staff] July 5 2021, 11:55am

Childe: hey quick question what does an allergy attack look like

Childe: cause one of these kids doesnt look too good

Baizhu: On my way

Albedo: Who is it? Did something happen to Klee?

Childe: naw its the sassy one

Albedo: Good.

Baizhu: Her forms say she has no allergies

Childe: well idk what this is but its something

Venti: kids probably allergic to him lmao

Xiao: ha ha.

Lisa: She would have reacted sooner, I think

Childe: shes not allergic to me

Thoma: We won’t know until Baizhu checks it out

Hu Tao: did yall hear something

Thoma: Tao,,

Thoma: Will you forgive me if I tell you all the deets about my bf and our dates

Hu Tao: gimme his number

Thoma: Done

Hu Tao: okay bestie cmere its bro hug time

Keqing: Wow that was fast

Ganyu: I’ve only seen them fight once before, and it went almost the exact same way. The day they have a real falling out is not going to be a good one

Baizhu: An update on Sayu for you all

Venti: pls say shes allergic to childe

Childe: I WILL EAT YOUR KIDNEYS

Baizhu: Sayu got bit by a spider and reacted to it. She was unaware of this allergy

Baal: oh so she is allergic to childe.

Childe: IM NOT A FUCKING SPIDER

[Group A!!] July 5 2021, 1:01pm

Razor: wehers,.sdfk, barbbarb

Aether: no wait yeah where is barbara

Amber: Oh no did the ghosts get her

Sucrose: You still haven't told me what that was like amber. I’d really like to know

Amber: Okay but when our friend isnt missing

Noelle: When was the last time we saw her? She definitely ate lunch with us!

Aether: uh lunch

Ayaka: I last remember seeing her at lunch as well.

Bennett: yahe lunch

Amber: We have to launch a search party

Aether: i’ll check the lake maybe the lake monster got her

Ayaka: Aether, there isn’t a monster in the lake, that was just the staff.

Aether: maybe he’s hiding

Fischl: Alas, dear comrades, I fear thou might have leapt towards a deduction that is most outrageous!

Sucrose: Translation?

Thoma: You’re all overreacting, Barbara’s fine

Aether: how do you know that are you working with the lake monster

Thoma: The what

Hu Tao: aya, her sister took her to go celebrate her birthday relax

Noelle: IT’S HER BIRTHDAY?! 

Thoma: ...yes?

Noelle: How could we not know? Oh no, none of us wished her a happy birthday yet! She probably thinks we hate her!

Razor: razorr makeb arbar sdas?

Amber: No no buddie youre good

Aether: she literally never told us how would we know

Noelle: Oh, well, true, but we absolutely must make up for this by celebrating when she gets back!

Ayaka: How should we go about doing so? We don’t have much here at camp.

Amber: Its the thought that counts

Bennett: we cuold singg!

Aether: YES

Aether: my sister and i harmonize every year for our older brother

Sucrose: Does it sound good?

Aether: not at all but its funny

Hu Tao: yall can sing for barbara when she gets back but we gotta go to the lab

Sucrose: Hell yeah

 

[Staff] July 5 2021, 1:27pm

Eula: Question. If we were to be arrested, would that result in us being fired?

Yae: Homie you forgot to say hypothetical

Eula: I did not.

Yanfei: oop

Lisa: Oh dear.

Eula: Jean? 

Lisa: She’s busy, I’ll handle this

Lisa: Please explain

Kokomi: Well when we finished our minigolf to have lunch, we realized the place we chose serves alcohol.

Rosaria: i already know where this is going

Ganyu: Not again,

Albedo: Again? How many laws are broken each summer?

Baal: more than youd think.

Kokomi: Beidou brought her ID and said she’d only have one drink, but, well,

Eula: She just finished beer number five.

Ningguang: oh, five?

Ningguang: then there should be no problem

Kokomi: The problem is that Beidou is insisting she drives us back.

Venti: no fair she drank without me

Keqing: I think there are more pressing matters

Venti: ive been betrayed again

Lisa: She only had five? Are you sure?

Kaeya: lmao yeah the waiter wouldnt bring her another

Lisa: Alls good then enjoy the drive home

Yanfei: are you advocating for drunk driving

Lisa: I wouldn’t if it was anyone else

Kaeya: beidou be built different

Ningguang: she’s the best driver i know, and second best after a few drinks

Albedo: How is that possible?

Yae: No one knows

Ningguang: it’s one of her many mysteries

Diluc: she never gives a straight answer, kinda like her eye

Beidou: yall will never know anything about me bitches

Beidou: unless youre my beloved gf

Beidou: baby im bringing you boba can i get a kiss

Ningguang: that is a fair trade, so yes

Mona: shes even more of a simp when tipsy

Keqing: Five beers is tipsy for her? Are you serious?

Childe: lmao even i know not to question beidou and her drinks

Kokomi: Okay we’re letting her drive, time to see if it’s all true!

Venti: ehe

Eula: If I pass today, there is a box of letters beneath my bed. Please send them to my family, so they will know my final act of vengeance was to remove them from my will.

Thoma: You have a will already

Lisa: I have one as well

Yanfei: how come you dont have one

Thoma: Fair

Hu Tao: a good will goes a long way!

Hu Tao: if you need help drafting one regarding funeral proceedings let me know so i can get you a good deal!

Lisa: No one is dying today

Kokomi: Why is she driving so well. This is better than earlier.

Kokomi: How.

Ningguang: nothing can stop the power of a lesbian

 

[Group B] July 5 2021, 1:50pm

Xingqiu: i am dead

Chongyun: Release your quarrels with life before your passing so your ghost is a peaceful one

Lumine: no i will be an evil fucking ghost

Lumine: gonna haunt Rosaria

Gorou: It wasn’t that bad lmao

Xinyan: Suddenly i’m anti jock twink.

Gorou: I’m not a twink!

Gorou: ...right?

Sara: You’re a twink and if you keep flexing I will make you regret it.

Xingqiu: that was a weak threat

Sara: My body hurts too much for proper threats. But it doesn’t hurt enough to stop me from wringing your little femboy neck.

Xiangling: How come Chongyun doesnt look dead

Chongyun: My family’s exorcist training has allowed me to keep my body prepared for anything a ghost throws as me

Gorou: Lumine aren’t you a fencer? Why are you so tired

Lumine: fencing has nothing on warcrime level torture like that.

Xiao: youre all complaining too much get over it.

Sara: We can’t even fight against him, he wiped the course like it was for toddlers. 

Xiao: youre all overreacting.

Ganyu: I’m sorry so many of you feel so affected by that activity! We have a quiet hour in the library next, and while you’re not supposed to nap, I suppose I can convince Lisa to let it slide this time!

Kazuha: Ah, the two sides of a familiar bond.

Lumine: how can you still speak like that you were one of the worst with the course

Kazuha: Mind over matter. My body wails with the cries of endless suffrage, yet my mind remains clear

Yoimiya: aksfjv too tired for big words dumb it down pls

Kazuha: I help my sister and father at the docks after school I’m used to thinking clearly while I’m tired

Gorou: Does this mean you’ll skip the nap? Maybe we can read together!

Kazuha: Do not be mistaken, I will fall asleep the instant I get comfortable

Gorou: adfjvhao valid

Xiangling: Do you gays see what im seeing

Xingqiu: no im sleepwalking

Sara: I think so but I’m too tired to think it through.

Xiao: if the course was this rough for you all none of you will survive next week.

Yoimiya: whats nect week

Ganyu: It’s a surprise! Returning campers should keep it a secret, please!

Lumine: if its anything like today ill run away to live in the woods with the wolves

Xingqiu: furry moment

Lumine: shut it femboy i could use your thigh as a toothpick

Chongyun: I will be researching the hauntings of this camp during library time anyone who wishes to join me can

Gorou: Sounds like fun!

Xiao: if any of you snore i will wake you up.

Ganyu: Ignore him, his headphones died.

Xiao: you wouldnt understand my feelings so dont even try to.

Xingqiu: mcr withdrawal seems wild

Lumine: lasjfkvaldb

Lumine: lmao he fucking dropped

Sara: All Xiao did was flick his ear, this twink really is built like a leaf.

 

[Staff] July 5 2021, 6:38pm

Jean: Barbara and I are back! She’s very touched by group A’s display, so bravo to Hu Tao and Thoma for any part you had in arranging it!

Hu Tao: taking my minimal credit booyah

Kaeya: gross did you just say booyah

Diluc: shut up you were the orange ninja turtle for five halloweens

Eula: How amusing, Kaeya is a Mikey kinnie.

Yae: Im so glad the kids are teaching her slang

Beidou: yeah i love hip eula

Beidou: not as much as i love ning

Venti: stop it im too jealous for this

Beidou: suffer knowing im a successful lesbian

Hu Tao: i missed tipsy beidou shes always so fun

Childe: make her do a flip

Beidou: no you do a flip

Beidou: i beat you remember

Childe: but i cant do a flip

Xiao: do it.

Ganyu: But he’s probably going to hurt himself!

Xiao: exactly.

Jean: Wait why is Beidou tipsy, she drove in beside us

Mona: oop

Jean: Lisa, I thought you said you had it covered

Lisa: I did, we all know what she’s like and look they made it back fine

Venti: make it a backflip

Childe: NO

Beidou: backflip!

Diluc: i wanna see this hold up

Baal: i will supervise. 

Baal: totally.

Childe: stop it im not doing it

Albedo: If you do not do a backflip, you’re homophobic.

Childe: FUCK

Eula: This is what the youth call a gaslight gatekeep girlboss moment, yes?

Yanfei: akjfvhba sure girl

Eula: Pogchamp.

Venti: LKAJDBVLJSDHVBSJBVH

Beidou: HES GONNA DO IT

Diluc: finally

Jean: Guys? It’s been a minute, is everyone okay?

Baal: baizhu please come to the staff building.

Jean: I hate days off.

Chapter Text

[Lapis Sibling Chat] July 6 2021, 9:53am

Zhongli: Goodmorning Ganyu, Xiao. I hope both of you slept well last night, a good rest is important for working your hardest. I am unsure as to how he found out, but father called me earlier to ask us to meet him as we have the day off. Are you both willing to drive back home to see him today? I am willing to reschedule with him if need be. -Zhongli

Xiao: are you serious?

Xiao: what does the bastard want now.

Ganyu: Normally I’d try to correct you, but this is father we’re talking about,

Zhongli: I know that neither of you enjoy being around him that much, and I am completely willing to go alone or reschedule. Please do not do anything that you would be uncomfortable with. -Zhongli

Ganyu: No, it’s okay Li, I can’t speak for Xiao, but I’d rather get it over with. It wouldn’t be wise to make father wait too long.

Xiao: what she said.

Zhongli: As long as you’re both sure. I will let him know, in the meantime, please get ready for the drive. We will be leaving in twenty minutes. -Zhongli

Xiao: what a great way to spend my day off.

Ganyu: Maybe it won’t be so bad? We’ve had some, okay times with father.

Xiao: like my mother’s funeral?

Xiao: where he was so drunk he tried to come on to my aunt?

Ganyu: Oh, I nearly forgot about that. Maybe today is going to suck afterall

 

[This one is for the girls + gay] July 6 2021, 11:00am

Ganyu: Hey ladies, and Albedo

Albedo: Hello Ganyu

Beidou: ganyu!! wassup girl

Ganyu: Xiao, Zhongli and I have to go see our father today, could I ask you all to keep an eye on group B today? I trust Diluc and Rosaria to watch them, of course, but I worry sometimes,

Beidou: oh shit no joke?

Lisa: Dear, take it easy, we’ll take care of everything

Keqing: I’m sorry if this seems insensitive but I’m not sure what’s happening?

Ningguang: long story short their dad Morax is not the greatest and them seeing him isn’t gonna be fun

Rosaria: that man is a bastard

Baal: im beyond glad that im not related to that man.

Ganyu: Ladies, you may be over reacting a tad,

Jean: Ganyu, dear, he used to forget to pick you and Zhongli up from camp when we were kids

Hu Tao: he sucks ass

Keqing: Oh, man, Ganyu I’m so sorry you have to go see him today

Ganyu: There’s no need to apologize, you played no part in this!

Eula: Mark my words, if I ever meet him, I will have vengeance in your honour!

Ganyu: Thank you all for your kindness, however Zhongli never gave any indication that father wasn’t in a good mood. Chances are this meeting will just be a tad emotionally draining

Mona: you deserve to enjoy your day off

Hu Tao: yeah this is unfair

Beidou: ladies

Beidou: and albedo

Beidou: i have the best idea

Albedo: Do share

Beidou: we have a girls night tonight when ganyu gets back!

Kokomi: Wait that’s actually a really great idea

Ningguang: of course it is

Lisa: I can offer up the library for a big sleepover tonight~

Hu Tao: we can even invite the campers!

Eula: And Albedo.

Rosaria: yes and albedo

Albedo: Thank you for the invitation, and I will come, but I’ll leave to stay in my cabin tonight ladies.

Ganyu: Wow! That sounds like it’s going to be so fun! Ooh, I can’t wait for tonight!

Keqing: Just try to take it easy today, okay? 

Ganyu: I will, thank you! Thank you all, dearly

Rosaria: now that emotional feelings time is done back to our usual bullshit

Yae: So, how are we feeling about Kiera Knightly?

Mona: awooga

 

[Group B] July 6 2021, 11:59am

Lumine: i miss Ganyu and Xiao

Sara: Why? Because Rosaria refuses to let you fight with Xingqiu?

Lumine: obviously

Gorou: She made me change shirts just cause the one I was wearing was a little short

Xiangling: dude you were wearing a crop top

Gorou: Yeah its summer

Kazuha: Diluc won’t stop arguing with Kaeya, we haven’t even played any soccer baseball yet

Xinyan: This is kinda lame

Yoimiya: Im gonna cry so hard when xiao gets back

Yoimiya: My tears are gonna drill a hole through the ground and make the earth a donut

Chongyun: You say that as if it isn’t one already

Yoimiya: Huh

Sara: Say what now?

Chongyun: The earth is in the shape of a donut I thought everyone knew this

Gorou: Dude please say sike

Chongyun: ? but I’m right

Chongyun: The earth is a donut, and the sun and moon are merely holograms

Lumine: okay Chongyun was the last person i saw believing in conspiracy theories

Xiangling: He hunts ghosts

Lumine: ...okay true

Xingqiu: yunyun youre so stupid

Xingqiu: come stand next to me you big dumb brick

Gorou: Fruity

Xingqiu: youre one to talk

Chongyun: Wait are none of you aware of the universal truths of our world

Xiangling: Chongyun buddy 

Xiangling: youve been lied to

Chongyun: Excuse me?

Kazuha: The earth is a sphere, like a ball, and the sun and moon are not holograms, my friend

Chongyun: Youre all just non believers my cousins warned me about you

Xinyan: Man your skull must be full of rocks because youre about as dumb as one

Xingqiu: hey leave him alone hes trying

Sara: Trying to deny the fact that he believes in nonsense? Yes.

Gorou: I wonder what other conspiracies he believes in

Lumine: wait please tell me you are vaccinated dude

Chongyun: Of course? 

Chongyun: Why wouldn’t i be

Sara: Oh thank the Archons.

Kazuha: I haven’t met someone with this level of stupidity in a while. It is not as refreshing as I believed it would be

Yoimiya: WAIT EVERYONE LOOK THEYRE PHYSICALLY FIGHTING NOW

Lumine: nevermind i’m glad we got Diluc and Rosaria this is epic

Gorou: Their form is awful :/

Xingqiu: we get it you play a homoerotic sport whatever

Yoimiya: AJDHBVLSJDBVHSHV

Lumine: damn the geek is coming for his ass

Xingqiu: on that topic while i think gorou looks like a gay dogboy jockbro he does have a nice ass

Gorou: Uh thanks?

Sara: No. We are not going back to ass.

Xinyan: I dont like men but yeah i guess the wrestling does him a big favour

Sara: Stop this, please.

Kazuha: Sorry, Sara, but I agree with Xingqiu and Xinyan. Gorou is quite fortunate

Gorou: W-well if you say so man aha!

Lumine: why did you stutter over text dogboy

Gorou: HUSH

 

[Staff] July 6 2021, 2:02pm

Hu Tao: and thats when i told him that he was mistaken and we didnt bury alive people only dead ones

Hu Tao: i havent heard from him since

Venti: damn wtf

Childe: dude was probably in a cult or smth

Kokomi: What makes you think that?

Childe: i used to be in a cult

Ningguang: you were what

Ningguang: no wait, this makes sense continue

Rosaria: oh i was in a cult too

Lisa: two of you?

Eula: Three, since I would consider the ritualistic ways of my family to fit in the category of cult-like behaviour.

Baal: damn.

Diluc: honestly i would believe nearly anyone in this group having been in a cult

Yanfei: tell us more what cults were you in 

Rosaria: i was sold to the treasure hoarders as a kid 

Keqing: You were sold??

Rosaria: my deadbeat dad owed them money and spent it so he gave them me next question

Kaeya: wait arent those the guys that steal money to sacrifice to this weird failed pottery that happens to look like a woman with huge tits

Mona: they what now

Rosaria: thats them

Jean: Okay, excuse me if this is rude, but did you ever worship that woman pot?

Rosaria: what do you think was my lesbian awakening of course

Baizhu: I have no words to follow that up

Thoma: Damn girl, how did you get out

Rosaria: just left cause i got bored and got adopted by a bunch of nuns

Beidou: why are you suddenly telling us everything about your life youre usually so secretive

Beidou: like i knew nothing about your life before this

Rosaria: im in a good mood i just watched diluc and kaeya fighting like stray cats

Albedo: I’ll remember that as a way to get information from you, thank you

Yae: Okay, if that was the cult Rosaria was in, and we all know the famous dealings of the Lawrence Clan, then what was Childe up to

Childe: okay so

Venti: mans is typing for a while

Kaeya: either his little brain got smaller and hes struggling to use his big boy words or hes writing us a novel

Ningguang: i doubt he knows enough words for that

Baal: get him.

Eula: Get rekt, little scrub man.

Hu Tao: okay someone stop the campers from doing this its getting scary

Eula: You are showing pussy behaviour, Hu Tao. Alpha up.

Keqing: I need eye bleach

Childe: so my school got shut down due to the giant rats we had when i was young so i got sent to a farther school for a bit and while i was there there was this girl that convinced a bunch of us that she was literally a god and had us act as her divine servants and act out her will to be spared in the rapture then one day she got arrested for smuggling drugs in her boobs and selling them to the guidance counsellor and then all of us followers just forgot it ever happened oh and we all have matching tattoos on our asses

Yanfei: okay whatever i was expecting

Yanfei: it WASNT FUCKING THAT

Thoma: That was the wildest thing I’ve ever read

Venti: wait why do i feel deja vu from that

Mona: pls don’t say you were also in a cult

Venti: no no just i think i heard about that somewhere

Diluc: i would think this was all fake but i dont think childe is creative enough to get his little brain gears to smack together and come up with that

Childe: hey

Venti: wait a minute what was the girls name

Lisa: I have no clue where this is going and I fear it’s going to get wild

Childe: uh she didnt tell us but we were to call her the tsaritsa 

Venti: wait a fucking minute

Venti: WAIT A FUCKING MINUTE

Hu Tao: what is happening

Keqing: I don’t know but I don’t like it

Baal: shes one of our cousins.

Albedo: I’m sorry, she’s what?

Childe: NO FUCKING WAY

Beidou: your family is so fucking nuts

Xiao: and its about to get worse.

Venti: xiao!! how was seeing your dad

Xiao: worse than i thought.

Baizhu: oh?

Ganyu: I want to say something more positive about the meeting, but I fear I cannot

Keqing: That bad?

Ganyu: Truly,

Beidou: what happened?

Zhongli added 1 user to [Staff]

Zhongli: We will be returning with a new staff member. Everyone, please welcome our new step brother, Itto. Our father insisted I give him a job here this summer, and since all our positions are full, I was unsure where to place him. I believe Athletics may be the best choice, and he will be added into the cabin I share with Baizhu. -Zhongli

Itto: yo wassup homies

Lisa: Oh so it was bad bad

Jean: New step brother? Did Morax get divorced and remarried in the week you were gone?

Ganyu: I don’t want to say much more on the subject, but pretty much

Xiao: he had another mistress and wife 5 found out when the mistress revealed she was pregnant. he divorced wife 5 married wife 6 and now itto is here.

Ganyu: ...yeah, that covers it all

Rosaria: i dont know if this is worse or just on par with the cult stories we told earlier

Ganyu: The what

Beidou: ill catch you up later

Kaeya: wait new athletics member

Jean: Well, we don’t have any positions left, but perhaps we can come up with something for Itto?

Itto: whatever works works as long as i can keep on my gains

Eula: Ah, I learned that word this week. Perhaps we can finally bring back the old Health and Wellness position?

Jean: Oh! You’re right, I forgot that we used to have someone cover that!

Itto: uh i dont wanna give any kids the talk

Beidou: hes perfect can we keep him

Venti: lmao he thought she meant like health class in school im crying piss

Albedo: Gross.

Venti: NO WAIT I TYPED A KEYSMASH IT AUTOCORRECTED TO PISS I SWEAR

Childe: screenshotted and sent to my old cult friends im gonna get this to the tsaritsa

Venti: AHHHH FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU

Childe: no thanks im straight

Jean: Itto, Health and Wellness staff is in charge of making sure the campers are not pushing themselves or going too light during activities. Essentially, you would make sure the campers are treating their bodies right!

Itto: like a personal trainer

Jean: I guess, in a way

Itto: sick i can do that

Kaeya: woo new homie for the athletics team

Beidou: WOO!

Kokomi: Welcome!

Kaeya: now can we go back to venti and his piss tears

Venti: im gonna cry my piss tears on your pillow bitch

Diluc: do it you won’t

Kaeya: brother you wound me

Diluc: obviously not enough since you don’t leave me alone

 

[Private channel; Beidou and Ganyu] July 6 2021, 4:34pm

Water jock: you good yu?

Overtime queen: I can’t lie to you, so I can’t say yes. However, it’s nothing too big

Water jock: tired mostly?

Overtime queen: You know me too well, aha,

Overtime queen: It has been a long day already, and I’m honestly just trying to push through until girls night tonight

Water jock: wanna put your sleeping bag near me and ning tonight?

Water jock: itll be like when we were in highschool and having sleepovers every other night

Overtime queen: Oh, I wouldn’t want to take away from your time together,

Water jock: ganyu im literally offering lmao just say yes

Overtime queen: Well, I have missed spending time with the two of you…

Water jock: we can invite keqing to join us as well wink wink

Overtime queen: I have no clue what you’re talking about

Overtime queen: Or implying

Overtime queen: She and I happen to get along rather well, that’s all!

Water jock: uh huh sure yu

Water jock: whenever you wanna talk about either morax or keqing ill be here

Water jock: and ning says she is as well

Overtime queen: Thank you, both of you. I’m blessed to have such caring friends

 

[Bros who are also hoes + Albedo] July 6 2021, 6:33pm

Venti: guys im so gay

Thoma: Did Xiao take off his hoodie

Venti: dID xiAo TAkE oFf hiS HoOdIE?!

Venti: of course he did and i could die happy now

Kaeya: dude youre like way past simping now like

Venti: oh im aware that im in love with him

Childe: hes ur cousins brother

Albedo: I was just about to ask about that

Venti: were not fucking related you all know it

Albedo: I didn’t

Venti: sorry albedo

Diluc: your family tree gives me a migraine, just so you know

Venti: me too homie

Venti: we share no blood relation and we didnt grow up being cousins so check and mate it isnt weird that i love him

Thoma: Sure buddie

Kaeya: hey and what about your mystery bf

Thoma: Oh, haha, right-

Childe: why wouldnt you tell us its bros before hoes

Venti: but were also hoes

Diluc: stop calling us hoes, i’ll leave the group

Diluc: again

Albedo: Hm, seems driven by homophobia.

Diluc: im fucking ace. ugh

Thoma: Fellas hear me out, I simply forgot that y’all didn’t know

Venti: damn

Kaeya: well catch us up bro whats he like

Thoma: Student athlete, he’s pretty quiet, he’s big on gift giving

Childe: so you have a sugar daddy

Thoma: ...I guess yeah

Albedo: Sorry guys, I have somewhere else to be, enjoy your ‘bro’ time

Kaeya: where are you going pal

Albedo: Girls night

Diluc: damn have fun

 

[Group A!!] July 6 2021, 7:52pm

Aether: oh man it sure is boring with the girls gone

Fischl: Yeah, its not as interesting with just the three of us

Aether: right i keep forgetting you’re using Fischl’s phone, Bennett

Fischl: Sorry!

Razor: why apologize?

Aether: woah his typing improved a lot

Fischl: Oh, we just turned on autocorrect for him

Razor: phone fix words for Razor, thank Benny

Fischl: Anytime, Razor!

Aether: any ideas for what we can do while the girls are gone?

Aether: if not i have something we can do

Fischl: Spill!

Aether: we can hunt the lake monster

Razor: monster in lake?

Aether: yeah and we’re gonna discover it

Fischl: Sounds like fun! How will we do that?

Aether: with some bait

Fischl: Bait?

Aether: i got the number of one of the b guys from Lumine’s phone and convinced him to lure out the monster

Razor: scooby doo bait?

Aether: yeah like acting as live bait in scooby doo

Fischl: Wait, who are we using as bait and how?

Aether: you’ll see :)

 

[Staff] July 6 2021, 8:31pm

Kaeya: hey uh thoma and xiao

Xiao: its my day off fuck off

Thoma: Yeah, uh, please go to regulations if you have anything to say about our campers

Kaeya: fine then diluc

Diluc: what is it

Kaeya: it looks like the blond on the wolf boy and the unlucky one are making the dog boy wear a miniskirt and do kpop dances in front of the lake

Diluc: they’re WHAT

Thoma: Oh my archons aksfhvbadfkhb is this real?

Kaeya: very much so just look at the canoe dock

Xiao: holy archons what the fuck did they do to gorou.

Venti: KSDJHSBF LOOK AT HIM GO THOSE MOVES

Itto: little bro looks shredded thats hella manly

Childe: do you have to stop them this is amazing

Diluc: yes, and stop watching it you fucking weirdos

Venti: but hes doing so well

Jean: ...so checking my phone was a mistake,

Diluc: i have this handled, Jean, please look away while you still can

Thoma: Gorou isn’t even stopping he’s just ignoring Diluc I’m-

Thoma: NO BENNETT FELL IN THE LAKE

Kaeya: ah razor jumped in after him 

Baizhu: I’ll unlock the med station again,

Xiao: has gorou been returned to his cabin yet?

Diluc: yes, at last

Venti: im so glad im not group staff