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Finding Myself (With You By My Side)

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There was once a time where Hiro couldn't look at himself without feeling nauseous; such degrading emotions simmering underneath the surface to the point where one lost breath and one wished to tear themselves apart. Maroon eyes now looked at his reflection with steady eyes and a chin held up, it wasn't perfect, but it was a start. It was his starting point in believing in himself and becoming what he was meant to be. He owed it all to his brother to be honest.

Tadashi took it in stride effortlessly, researching all kinds of things to help and even going as far as wasting time and money to make him more comfortable with the way he looked. There was no way he'd have survived all the changes he was going through if not for the older raven.. But he supposed that's something his brother has always done.

Going out of the way to help was his life goal, his entire future was made up to help others. It was one of many reasons why Hiro looked up to Tadashi so much. He was everything a perfect human being should be: respectful and kind, stern yet caring, strong but loving. He was balanced in every way, even handsome and intelligent; there wasn't a negative thing Hiro could ever find in his brother's personality. Although it drove him insane at times, it's also what made him love his brother.. More than anything and one.

And deep down it struck a nerve; a raw disgusting piece of himself that he just couldn't shake away. He should have grown out of it by now, this obsession grating shrilly against his mindset in such a manner he's had to be extremely careful around his brother. It was once called looking up to; a respectful and sickly innocent attachment that was born from the older raven practically being Hiro's only source of social activity, a role model that he continuously strived to be. Shouldn't he have grown out of that by now rather than fixating on how much he'd enjoy intertwining their fingers together? How much different it'd feel to have the older male's mouth somewhere other than the top of his head?

Shaking his head almost violently, the boy genius averted his eyes from that train of thought. Baka! Tadashi didn't deserve anything unclean in his life and that included his little brother's stupid incestuous tendencies. Which was why the smaller raven was checking himself over in the mirror, ruffling his hair with new clean clothes on. A long-sleeved dress shirt even instead of his regular tee and hoodie and somewhat decent pants matched with black converses versus his normal brown ones. He finally accepted a date with Leo.

He was a nice enough guy, though some may argue that fact just because of the dyed jet black hair that's tipped in crimson with matching piercings in his lip. Snakebites, if Hiro remembered correctly. Even his eyes people saw as dangerous.. Switching from green to blue, sometimes a brown speckled iris instead, Hiro had to admit they were quite intriguing, some might even call them alluring. You really couldn't judge a book by its cover, especially when it came to the back alleys, everyone had a past.. Something to get away from or achieve.

They meet during a bot battle before he had even entered one, was just watching in the sidelines and Leo struck up a conversation - even went as far as to show Hiro the quickest escape routes from the cops. He was almost always at the same fights as the other, they've been friends for going on three years now, never outside of bot fighting of course, but.. Still. Leo even knew about him transitioning, more than perfectly okay with it actually, didn't hesitate with switching pronouns and that was.. It was nice. Plus the flirting only seemed to increase after that, so a little sweet talk may have also been a factor in his decision.

Hiro never agreed to go out before mainly due to the fact that Leo was four years older than him, halfway through being twenty as well as the thing about being hopelessly in love with his older brother... But now that he was sixteen, the younger raven was beginning to realize he needed to force himself to move on. Tadashi would never return feelings like that, it was selfish to even want him to, he deserved a wife and a family from all the good he's put into the world.

Adjusting his clothing one more time before brushing his teeth, he headed back to his bedroom and glanced at the clock curiously. His brother should be home soon.. He wanted to explain he had a date yesterday, but Tadashi seemed truly exhausted so he had let it go. The nerd never had any rest granted to him with how often he stayed up working up designs or doing homework. But Hiro would be out late tonight, he wanted to have his brother's blessing at the very least. Leo promised to bring him home before eleven and even offered to introduce himself to 'The Legendary Niisan' if needed; although the raven wasn't sure that was a smart idea just yet.

Having no idea at all how the other would react to this kind of news was causing anxiety to claw low in Hiro's diaphragm all the same. The twisted part of him hoped Tadashi would get upset, forbid him from dating though the other half of him, the much more sane part, knew his brother wouldn't say such things.. Perhaps only demand to the meet the person? Congratulate him for becoming a man or something nearly as stupid.

All thoughts stopped at the sound of footsteps climbing up their stairs, nerves causing the younger raven to tap his foot on the carpet while staring at the room's entryway. Lean muscles shifted beneath the taller raven's clothing, ball cap blocking a shaven face for but a moment before hazelnut irises found his own maroon ones with a smile that relaxed his entire posture.

"Hey knucklehead, what's got you so fancied up?" Came the simple question, Tadashi casually walking over with a grace unbeknown to himself as he reached a hand out towards Hiro to pat down a stray lock of hair. Looking up at his carefree brother, the smaller male just offered a tiny smile back, shrugging nonchalantly while watching the older male head to his side of the room to put down his bag.

"Well.. Actually, I was hoping to talk to you about that? Are you busy because I don't want to interrupt, buuutt..?"