There was a small part of Jon, which he assumed was the part of him that could still be considered human, that wanted to stay there at the Upton House. Obviously this idea was out of the question, at least for him. Despite how desperate Jon had been in the past to hold on to his humanity, that had left him long ago.
Well, it had been gone except there at the Upton House, owned by the mysterious Mikaele Salesa. He was now cut off from The Eye- cut off from the horrors of the apocalypse that he, accidentally, but still was fully responsible for causing. Apparently, he and Martin had slept for nearly three straight days when they first arrived, though Jon still felt utterly exhausted. He is unable to tell if it is genuine fatigue from the tedious journey he and Martin have been embarking on to London, or if the lethargy is due to being separated from the Entity he serves.
He is leaning towards the latter explanation, however, as Martin, who has been traveling with him since the beginning, seemed to be in much higher spirits compared to Jon. Martin seems to be enjoying the peace of normal before the two inevitably would have to venture back out into that eternal nightmare world. That humanity left in him almost wants to beg Martin to stay where he can live a somewhat normal life, though with Annabelle lurking around Jon had doubts that Martin would even consider this as a possibility. He knows that this is a momentary stop, but who says the two couldn’t enjoy it while it lasts?
Jon loses track of the days going by, him and Martin spending their newfound safety indulging in small pleasures that Jon assumes were all in the past. Sleeping is the first one, an activity that Jon had given up long before the end of the world even began. But there are smaller things like eating actual food, being able to enjoy tea (Jon is sure he will never forget that look of pure joy on Martin’s face when Salesa poured them cups of freshly made Earl Grey), and the sudden need to actually bathe.
The first night after the two awoke from their multi-day slumber, they let themselves enjoy one of the larger tubs in the house, not just cleaning off the dirt and grime built up from their expedition, but also to enjoy the intimacy that came with laying in steaming hot water completely naked and open. Jon had nearly been lulled to sleep during their last bath while Martin washed his hair for him, Jon’s back up against Martin’s chest as their legs tangled together. Martin’s arms were wrapped around Jon in a comforting and loving embrace that made Jon’s heart clench in both contentment but also pure anguish. He didn’t deserve to be loved by anyone after everything he has done, especially by someone as amazing and wonderful as Martin Blackwood.
During that last bath, while the two laid together in a comfortable silence, skin pruning from how long they had been sitting in that cozy blanket of warmth and bubbles, Jon felt an unmistakable hardness against his lower back. Face flushing, Jon took it upon himself to ignore how their naked closeness was affecting Martin.
After all, according to his old coworkers, Jon didn’t “do that,” and certainly there was some truth to that silly office gossip- he hadn’t before, mostly because he never felt any real interest or need for sex. Not even in his past romantic relationships, which admittedly only really consisted of Georgie and a few other casual dates during his University days. But Martin is different compared to Jon’s past relationships in that he had thought about what it would be like to be with Martin in that way, especially since the two had arrived at the Upton House.
While Martin is still remaining optimistic about saving the world from Jonah Magnus, Jon does not share that same hope, dreading that their long trip to London will end in nothing but failure and the feeling of despair that the world they had known before is gone forever. And that feeling of living in a never-ending hellscape has him thinking even more about what it would be like to forget all the suffering that is happening due to his actions and to surrender himself to the heat and pleasure that he assumed came with having sex. These thoughts are crossing his mind as he and Martin lie next to each other in their shared bed, Jon’s head laying on Martin’s chest with Martin’s large arms wrapping around him, playing with the hairs at the base of his neck. Jon suppresses a small shudder at the slightly ticklish but very pleasant sensation.
“Martin…” Jon sighs softly, burying his head even further into Martin’s chest, practically hiding his now tinted pink face in the other man’s soft yet firm chest. Martin merely hums in response, moving his hands to now caress Jon’s back, fingers stroking him so gently that Jon almost wants to bat his hands away. Jon is a monster. A monster who started the literal apocalypse. A monster who is causing humanity to suffer their worst fears over and over again for all eternity. And yet, here he is, safe and warm in the arms of the man he loves, a man who despite everything Jon has done, loves him back.
Jon’s heart aches, and he wants this miserable thinking to cease. He just wants…
“Martin,” Jon breathes, his voice sounding much more desperate than he realized, raising his head up to meet Martin’s gaze.
“Jon? What’s wrong?” Martin asks, attempting to keep his voice composed, but Jon sees the way he licked his lips in response to Jon’s sudden breathy pleas. Jon doesn’t respond, instead watching Martin as he licks his lips again, more nervous this time. Jon can feel his heart thumping in his ears as he leans up, hands flat across Martin’s chest as he presses his lips to Martin’s. Kissing wasn’t new for them, though Jon does wish he had kissed Martin more when they were together at the safehouse in Scotland.
Jon hasn’t kissed a lot of people before Martin, and while Martin’s past relationships are a secret that Jon has purposefully avoided Knowing, it was obvious that Martin is far more experienced in the realm of physical relationships compared to Jon. Martin kisses him back, nipping at Jon’s lips and Jon’s toes curl in response One of Martin’s hands tangles itself in Jon’s hair, the other still curled around Jon’s back, finger caressing the small amount of revealed skin from Jon’s slightly raised up shirt. The two kiss for a while, Jon opening his mouth as Martin sucks his bottom lip into his own, and Jon feels heatedly dizzy in ways that kissing doesn’t usually make him feel.
Martin obviously feels it too, his grip tightening around Jon as the kiss grew more frantic, more hungry, and Jon can feel Martin’s erection poking at his hip. Before now, Jon would have adjusted himself to avoid the awkwardness that came with your partner sporting a hard on, especially when it was unlikely that Jon would be able to reciprocate. But tonight, here in this safe haven away from the hell world outside, is different. Hesitantly, Jon rolls his hips against Martin, causing Martin to break away from the kiss as he lets out a squeak, a mixture of surprise and arousal.
“J-Jon?” Martin stutters, still trying to get his breathing under control. Jon remains silent, choosing instead to grind his hips against Martin again, this time both men letting out small gasps at the sensation.
“Jon!” Martin stammers, jerking himself up, bringing Jon with him, Jon now sat on his lap.
“What’s gotten into you?” Martin asks, face still flushed with arousal and his erection still poking at Jon’s hip. “You… y’know, you usually aren’t, well, this... excited, I guess?”
Martin struggles with his wording, though Jon knows what he is trying to get at. That damn office gossip that Basira and Melanie had spread is still engraved in Martin’s head. And Martin, considerate and loving Martin, would never want to do anything to make Jon feel uncomfortable or upset. Jon shuts Martin up with a quick kiss then places his forehead on Martin’s shoulder, his voice still shaky, mind spinning with arousal that he isn’t used to. It’s frightening and titillating, and Jon is not sure how to even go about telling Martin what he wants.
“I- I usually don’t. I mean, it typically doesn’t occur to me. But…”
Jon falls silent, unease and embarrassment creeping up on him.
“But?” Martin whispers, his voice right in Jon’s ear. Jon cannot stop a full body shudder as Martin’s hot breath tickles his ear.
“But... “ Jon continues, “That was before I started the damn apocalypse.” He hears Martin let out a tiny oh Jon under his breath before he continues.
“Ever since we got to this place, all I can think about is how… nice it’s been to be away from all that suffering. Obviously I can’t stay here forever, being separated from The Eye and what have you, but all of humanity is damned to this... eternal nightmare world and what is the person who started it spending his time? Drinking tea and taking god damn bubble baths with his boyfriend.”
Jon has not even realized he is shaking until he feels Martin rub comforting circles into his skin.
“And we could sit here and argue over whether it was really my fault or not, but it doesn’t change the fact that it was me who started this. I should be suffering just as much as the rest of humanity, hell, I should be suffering even more for everything I’ve done.” Martin responds by cupping Jon’s cheeks, placing a small kiss at the corner of his mouth, but remains quiet, allowing Jon to finally let out the emotions that have been plaguing him since they started this venture.
“I- I just want to not think about it, even if it’s just for a second... I just want to not think about it. I just want...”
Feeling a sudden boldness he never expected to be in him, Jon frantically crushes their lips together, Martin makes a strangled noise of shock before fully kissing back, responding to Jon’s demanding kiss with an equal amount of need and want. The kiss ends way too quickly, Martin pulling away. Jon lets out a small whine of protest- a sound that in any other circumstance would have him feeling absolutely mortified. Jon’s apparent boldness must have influenced Martin, who leans in to start pressing hot open-mouthed kisses at Jon’s neck.
Jon openly groans at Martin’s ministrations. He remembers the first time Martin had kissed his neck back at the safehouse. It had felt good, too good in fact, overwhelming Jon so much that Martin stopped immediately and hadn’t tried it since. That overwhelming sensation is back as Martin trails his lips down Jon’s neck, but Jon does not pull away. Rather, he tilts his neck up, allowing Martin easier access to continue his assault. Jon knows Martin is leaving marks, and Jon almost wants to weep at the thought of being marked by an entity of his own choosing for once.
Jon’s hands fist at Martin’s shirt, desperate to hold on to something as Martin sucks the skin of Jon’s neck between his teeth. Jon mewls as Martin bites down at a particularly sensitive area, and Jon feels his cock start to harden as Martin licks at the mark he just made. Martin pulls away from Jon’s neck, fingers grasping his chin and tilting it down, their eyes finally meeting. Jon’s breath hitches as the sight, Martin’s eyes dark, filled with pure arousal and face bright red. The intense eye contact and closeness of their lips, just barely touching, makes Jon feel dizzy.
“What do you want Jon?” Martin breathes hungrily into his lips, and Jon keens. They haven’t even done anything except kiss but Jon is so turned on he thinks he might combust.
“I want us to have sex.” Jon says without hesitation, and this time it is Martin’s turn to shiver; Grabbing Jon’s shoulders, Martin gently but firmly pushes Jon onto the bed, Jon landing on his back with a low moan. Despite being almost all Knowing, Jon did not know that one of his kinks apparently included being man-handled by his much larger boyfriend.
“So, h-how do you want to do this? Do you want me to… or-or do you want..” Martin stammers, voice sounding nervous despite his hulking silhouette looming over Jon, making Jon feel small and defenseless in a way that shouldn’t be as hot as it is. Out in the new world, Jon is all powerful, able to destroy any Avatar that dares cross his and Martin’s path. But here, in this small pocket of the world not corrupted by any Entity, Jon is powerless. The feeling of being vulnerable, practically pinned to the bed by Martin’s stature is intoxicating.
“I- I want you to fuck me.” Jon whimpers, his voice cracking despite his best efforts to not sound as desperate as he feels. Martin inhales sharply, gulping hard as he looks over Jon’s face, as if he is trying to find any sign of hesitation on Jon’s part. Even with Jon pinned underneath him, begging Martin to fuck him, Martin is still thinking about Jon’s best interests.
“A-are you sure?”
Jon nods hastily, and Martin leans down to give Jon a quick but heated kiss before getting up off the bed. Jon starts to reach out, panicking that Martin might not actually want to do this and that Jon is somehow crossing a line. But instead, Martin takes hold of Jon’s reached out hands, pressing his lips to Jon’s knuckles then lightly pushing Jon back fully on the bed.
“Don’t worry, love. I have to grab something from the bathroom for us real quick. I’ll be right back, promise.”
Martin’s a man of his word, taking only seconds to run to the attached bathroom and back. Jon can see some sort of tube in his hands, realizing what it is. His face burns at the sight of the unscented lotion that had been sitting on the bathroom counter, and what Martin is going to use it for. Throwing the lotion on the bed, Martin takes a second to take his shirt off. Jon follows suit, eyes glued to the obvious hardness still pressing against Martin’s sweatpants. With both their shirts off, Martin climbs back onto the bed, pushing Jon back down on the mattress, capturing his lips in a hungry kiss.
Jon’s hands settle on Martin’s naked back, lightly scratching at the skin and Martin grunts, pressing his lips to the corner of Jon’s mouth then trailing down his jaw to brush his lips against Jon’s already marked up neck. Jon jolts, crying out, but Martin does not stay at his neck for long, moving from Jon’s neck down his throat and to his chest. Martin hesitates for a second, and Jon suddenly remembers the worm scars all over his body. Martin had seen Jon’s naked chest before, but never in this context. Did Martin stop because he was disgusted by the sight? Jon is about to babble out some sort of apology but Martin shifts down to suck Jon’s right nipple into his mouth, fingers grasping and pinching the other one, and Jon bites back a loud moan, hips arching off the mattress at how good it felt.
He had no idea his nipples were this sensitive, and Martin took the squirming as a good sign, sucking and pinching harder. Jon almost wants to beg Martin to stop, his entire body a quivering mess. It is slightly embarrassing just how much Jon’s body is responding to Martin’s touch, but the pure want and desire for Martin to continue and never stop far outweighs any shame.
“You’re so beautiful, Jon,” Martin cooes lovingly, pressing one last kiss to Jon’s nipple as his kisses travel further down Jon’s chest. His lips meet the waistband of Jon’s pajama pants, and Martin looks up to Jon for approval.
“Please, Martin.” Jon whimpers, and Martin swears, hands pulling off Jon’s pants and boxers down in one swift motion.
“God, look at you.” Martin murmurs, “You’re so gorgeous, I can’t believe how lucky I am to have you like this.”
Jon huffs, wanting to deny Martin’s insistent compliments, but now Martin’s fingers are brushing against Jon’s hardened length and any coherent thoughts left in his head are out the window. Martin starts to fully stroke at Jon’s cock, and Jon openly moans. Jon has touched himself before, but it was usually just a biological nuisance. His quick early morning wanks were never intense, and certainly never felt this good. Jon feels his orgasm approaching much too soon, and he shakily reaches down to grab ahold of Martin’s arm, stopping his assault on his now leaking cock.
“Oh, Jon, I’m sorry… was that too much? I should have asked before-”
“Please don’t stop, Martin.” Jon pleads weakly, and he glances over at the lotion laying at the bed next to them, hoping Martin gets the hint. His message gets across, Martin letting go of Jon’s dick to grab the bottle. Martin caresses Jon’s thighs, a seductive smile on his lips that makes Jon’s heart stop.
“Do you want to spread those pretty legs for me, love?” Martin purrs, and Jon cannot obey the command fast enough, spreading his thighs and allowing Martin full display of what is his.
“So beautiful,” Martin breathes, pressing a kiss to one of Jon’s thighs, “Such a good boy for me.”
Jon shivers, Martin’s seductive words washing over him in a wave of arousal and desire that is still foreign to him. Jon’s breath hitches when he feels a cold finger pressing against his open legs. Martin slowly fucks him open with his finger, pecking at Jon’s neck as he does. Adding another finger, whispering sweet nothings and dirty words in Jon’s ear and Jon can do nothing but whimper, head lolling against the pillow. Once Martin is able to add a third finger, his fingers find that sweet spot that has Jon a babbling, moaning mess.
“Martin, p-please, please I need you so much.” Jon sobs, and Martin swears once more.
“Okay- okay, let me just…” Martin pulls his fingers out, Jon whining at the loss. Jon languidly watches as Martin shoves his sweatpants down, finally freeing his own cock. Jon doesn’t have much, or any really, experience, but he can tell that Martin is on the bigger size, Martin’s cock red and leaking. Martin quickly slicks himself up, hissing at the first contact. Jon licks his lips, laying back down on the bed and spreading himself the way he knows Martin likes. Now between his legs, Martin lines himself up to Jon’s entrance, and their eyes meet, and Jon holds back the tears that are threatening to fall.
“I love you, Martin.” Jon says, hooking his leg around Martin’s waist, encouraging him, and Martin exhales hotly.
“I love you too, Jon. So much.” Martin responds, eyes watering and Jon reaches up to catch the falling tears. Martin starts to push in, and Jon’s head falls back against the pillow in a silent gasp. It isn’t painful like he assumed, but it’s so much. Jon’s fists grasp the sheets under him as Martin fully sinks into Jon’s body. Once buried inside Jon’s body, Martin is panting, hands gripping Jon’s hips hard enough that Jon knows he is going to leave a bruise.
“Fuck, Jon. You feel so good, fuck.” Martin groans loudly, experimentally moving his hips. Jon’s moan is all the encouragement Martin needs before slamming into Jon’s body. Martin sets a rhythm, and Jon loses himself in the feeling of Martin fucking him. His brain is nothing but pleasure, his body going limp as he takes whatever Martin gives him.
Jon knows he isn’t going to last long, not with Martin slamming into that spot that has Jon seeing stars, wanton moans spilling out of his mouth as his head thrashes back and forth against the pillow. But from the way Martin is losing any sense of rhythm, it’s clear that Martin isn’t going to last much longer either. Martin’s hand slips between their sweaty bodies, lazily stroking at Jon’s cock as he pounds into him, causing a whole new wave of pleasure to erupt through Jon’s body.
“Martin,” Jon cries out once, before his vision fades, the fire pooling in his abdomen releasing as he loudly comes, Martin’s name still on his lips as he goes limp. Jon is so fucked out, body feeling like pure liquid that he hardly notices Martin thrusting into him, once, twice before he feels Martin coming, paining his insides and Jon whimpers at the strange sensation.
The two lay there, bodies sweaty and exhausted, Martin pressing lazy kisses at whatever skin he could find. Once their breathing has calmed down, Martin pulls out, Jon whimpering slightly, face flushing as he feels Martin leaking out of him. Jon considers the fact that maybe they should clean themselves up before going to sleep, but his eyes and body feel heavy, electing instead to curl up against Martin’s side. Martin chuckles, but scoops Jon’s fucked out body into his arms, carding a hand through Jon’s hair. Jon’s eyes flicker shut, breathing lulling as he falls asleep in Martin’s arms. Martin closes his eyes as well, knowing that tomorrow they will need to discuss when they will eventually have to leave here and go back out into the apocalypse. But for now, all that matters is them.