Chapter 1: I like the way cigarettes taste in my mouth
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
It might seem unbelievable, but Takemichi was a smoker. Or is.
It just seems so... untrue? A lie. The mere thought of it can make someone sick. Because there's no way he is.
There's no way someone as pure as him would do such a thing.
And that's what they're wrong about. He is not pure, he will never be pure. He's been shattered into pieces and put back with just glue.
One knock, and it's all over.
And maybe, that's why he always cried.
He hides this fact from everyone. He can't let them see this unbearable side of him. A disgusting part of him - he knows already that he is disgusting but it's nice to pretend.
And it's not like he smokes every day. It's just to ease the stress that keeps over-flowing him after every plan made to change the future was ruined.
He can't keep doing this, he knows that. But until he finds something else to be obsessed with, to help with his stress, anxiety, and fear, he'll keep going.
He likes the way the cigarettes taste in his mouth. The sweetness.
People would describe cigarettes to taste like shit. But for someone who smokes? It actually tastes nice if you know what to buy.
Honestly, he couldn't give a single fuck whenever he smokes. It just to ease his mind from all the worries in the world. But that's what's sad after he finishes his cigarettes, all of the worries come crashing down at him harshly, once it all wears off.
It's not healthy. At all.
At the moment everything came back to him. It made him want to puke it all out. Every piece of food, every drop of water, he wanted to let it all out.
And it's pathetic.
He stumbled over everything in his house. Throwing things around harshly.
He fails, again. He still remembers the way Chifuyu got shot in front of him. It's a sight that he wants to forget. Forever.
He opens his drawer, messily searching for his pack of cigarettes.
He then proceeds to sit in the corner of his bedroom. He took one of the cigarettes, his hands were shaking, making it hard to light it up. His breath hitches. After a few trys, he manages to light it.
Putting the cigarette to his lips, he inhales deeply, then exhales. Blowing the sweet smoke spirals into the air
The worries, the fear, were all replaced. He sighs mentally.
He was so so tired. He can't take it anymore. He wants to cry, so badly. Not the kind of 'I will not give up' cry, but rather the 'I'm never fine' kind of cry.
He let himself shrink into the darkness of his bedroom.
A few hours has passed.
Images of Akkun, Hina, Baji, and Chifuyu dying flashed through his eyes. And this time he lets himself cry.
He killed Hina. Naoto might have said that he was being manipulated, but he can't help but blame himself.
Pain shot through his body, he stood up and ran towards the toilet. He threw open the toilet bowl and puked it all out. All of the food and water that were inside his stomach is now in the bowl.
Tears run down his cheeks as he violently pukes. His throat hurts like hell. Just what the hell did his past self eat while he was gone?
Fucking nuisance. It's embarrassing to him that past Takemichi didn't do anything to make himself worthy. Well, it's his fault too, the kid was probably confused at how he suddenly got respected. But still, the other could maybe, try to have new hobbies? Try to focus on his study? Anything, as long as it matters to society.
He washes his face and hands, pouring the water into his mouth, and then proceeding to spit it out on the sink. He run his fingers on his badly dyed hair. He takes a deep breath of air and walks out of the toilet.
He feels his throat aching, that's right. His throat hurts, he rushes downstairs to the kitchen - not paying attention to how his living room looks like a mess.
He pours himself some hot water into a cup and gulps it down with only one thought that crossed his mind, that all he wants is to sleep.
So he went to the bedroom, ignoring the mess of the room, again, and he threw himself onto his bed. Yawning, he drifts off into a seemingly endless sleep.
Thankfully he didn’t have any bad dreams that night, he needed a peaceful sleep for once.
Mikey saw it for a second, the determination in Takemitchy's eyes disappeared. Like he expected all of them to disappear right before his eyes.
He start to observe him, sometimes he looked like a whole other person. One second, he's smiling but the next he’s just blankly staring.
He knows the guy hiding something, a big burden on his shoulders. But when he catches a smell, one that he’d never expect to be on Takemitchy, he’s left in wonder.
At first he hopes that it’s just a coincidence. But after a few times, he comes to the conclusion.
'He smokes, Takemitchy is a smoker.'
If someone were to tell him that statement, he would have laughed it off, because there's just no way that a guy like him could be like that.
But somehow, it makes more sense as to why he thinks Takemitchy is just like his brother.
His brother smoked too.
That didn't matter though, he doesn't like the guy because he was like his brother. But because he never gives up. Takemitchy saved Ken-chin, he was so grateful for that.
He doesn't care that he doesn't know how to fight properly, because even if that, Mikey would protect the him, the one he loves.
He knows it's wrong to love Takemitchy, not because he's a guy but because he already has Hina.
But he would do just everything to at least be someone special towards him.
It didn't matter if the guy he loves, doesn't love him back.
If Takemichi said that he loves Hina, that would be a lie.
He cares about her, of course. Just not love. He doesn't love her anymore. But he still wants to save her, save everyone he’s close with, everyone he cares about.
So here he is, standing infront of Hina with a sad look on his face.
He had to do this or he won't forgive himself. Because God, no matter how many times he tried, he couldn't just love her like how he used to. And it wouldn’t be right to lie to Hina about it. He doesn't want to play with her feelings.
"What is it, Takemichi-kun?" Hina speaks up, smiling gently. She knew where is this going.
"I...I'm sorry. I think we should break up," he looks down, "It's not you, it's me. I just couldn't love you anymore, not like I used to." he said, avoiding Hina's gaze.
Hina smile, assuring that it's fine, "I knew."
He look up, confused, "You knew?"
"Yeah, you don't look at me the way you used to. I didn't talk about it because I wanted you to realise it," she frowned, "And I guess, I just want to hold onto our relationship."
"Hina, I'm so-"
"I'm glad Takemichi-kun. It was nice having you by my side, I still love you just so you know, but it's okay, I don't want to force you to do anything you don’t want to do.”
"Oh. You're too kind, Hina." he choked out.
"Me?" Hina laughed, a genuine one. "I'm not. You are too kind, Takemichi-kun."
"But-," he paused not sure if he should continue.
"You are. So I hope we can still be friends." She plastered a tight smile.
"Huh?" he perks up at that, "You want to be friends with someone who just broke your heart?"
"Don't mention that," she muttered, "I think we would be great bestfriends to be honest."
He hummed, "I think we would make a nice duo."
"Right? Now let's go, first thing we should do is go shopping." She grabbed his hands, dragging him behind her.
"Now. You also need to buy me something, you just broke up with me."
"That's right. But now we're going shopping? You know I'm your ex now," he said, desperately trying to pulled away.
"Of course but we're bestfriends now. And the best thing that could help me from this heartbreak is shopping. You brought this upon yourself, Takemichi-kun." she smiled, this time it didn't quite reach her ears.
"How is that supposed to work?! It's best if you hang out with Emma-chan or Yuzuha-san instead."
"No. I don't want to bother them. You also need to buy new clothes." she insisted.
"What? Why?" he asked, frowning.
"Because I said so. Now shut up or you will buy everything I want."
He shut his mouth, not wanting to make the other upset.
Who would guess that Hinas coping mechanism is shopping?
He would, it makes sense.
Tachibana Hinata loves her (ex) lover so much and sometimes even too much. So when her eyes meet his, she was expecting a shiny love eyes too. But instead she got that generic pair of blue eyes that everyone's got.
Her breath hitched, and her heart was close to breaking.
'He doesn't love me anymore,' the thought crossed her mind whenever she looks in his eyes.
But of course, she didn't break things off. She wants him to realise it by himself.
It hurts her so much that she wants to cry her eyes out. It takes two weeks for her to finally accept it - that doesn't mean she's okay though.
Takemichi was -is- someone she admired (admires).
It crushed her heart when he broke up with her. But she shook it off, asking him if they could be friends instead.
And now they're consider bestfriends.
Unfortunately, she still loves him while he doesn't.
And it might takes a while for the feelings to go away. But she's fine. She will be.
Takemichi was pacing back and forth in his bedroom. Trying to make the uneasy feeling go away.
Suddenly, he feels his heart tighten, making it hard to breathe. He clenched his hands, feeling as if the room was slowest suffocating him.
Tears start to run down his red cheeks, he put his hands on both of his ears, trying to block the noises.
He pulled on his hair roughly. Then he sits in the corner, pulling his knees towards his chest, making himself tiny and small.
He choke out a sob, and if someone were to hear it, it might have broken their heart.
He sobbed harder, louder, more emotional and uglier.
"Stop. Make it stop please." he choked out between his sobbing.
He clenched his hands to his chest.
"It's so hard to breath." he stared at the ceiling, tired.
Please tell me if you're interested in this. Hope you did enjoy!
Chapter 2: The world throw the burden on me, I hate it.
He was thankful, of course. He got a second chance in life (where the others don't).
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
He was thankful, of course. He got a second chance in life (where the others didn’t).
He felt bad for Kid Takemichi - yes, in cap - because well, the boy doesn't even know what's going on and why the hell he smells like cigarettes. He might even be confused to as why he has cigarettes pack in one of the drawers. (It's a miracle the boy doesn't throw it out whenever he goes to the future. Hell, he might be even trying to smoke too.)
But if his past self used running away as coping mechanism because he can't handle pressure, then it doesn't matter if he smokes.
The world threw the burden of all of this on him, and is trying to make it up. So it doesn't matter if he hates the world, because surely the world hates him too.
His memory overlapped with past, present and future. And God, that feels like shit. Sometimes he doesn't even know if what he’s saying is in this timeline.
At this point, he doesn't even care if people look at him weirdly. It's not his fault he’s slipped up sometimes.
God, he's pathetic.
If Mitsuya said he doesn't smell it, that's a lie.
It was unexpected. At first he thought it was someone's else but when it happened again he was really shocked.
Then, he realizes he wasn't the only one who knows. So he met up with Mikey at the river to talk about it. Just to confirm it. He has always been worrying about people he’s close with, you know like a big brother. That's his nature.
"What is it, Mitsuya?"
"Uh, I was wondering if you," he paused looking around,"if you noticed something off about Takemitchy."
Mikey perks up at the mention of Takemitchy.
"Why?" he asked, ignoring the question.
"He just...." he looks down, not sure if he should continue, "I don't want to accuse him or anything, I mean most people in gangs do it but it just seems unexpected."
"Most people in gangs do it?"
"Oh you know, smoking."
"You're saying Takemitchy is a smoker?" Mikey stare at him, blankly. Ah man, he's so hard to read.
"Yeah- I mean no. It just he smells like it so I was wondering if it's home stuff or something."
"Oh?" Mikey turn around, "I thought I was the only one who noticed."
"So you did notice it. Aren't you gonna ask about it?" he trails behind Mikey, "It's not like him to smoke."
"Huh why not?"
"Well, if it's come down to it, then I will ask." he stopped walking, "Just not now."
And Mitsuya keep quiet. It's Mikey's decision, he ain't gonna ask why. Even if he did, he won't tell him. He's always been like that. Mysterious.
Hanagaki Takemichi has always been alone in that house.
Lonely and empty house.
His father works for the military, therefore he doesn’t always see him. His mother is always away on business trip, leaving him all alone.
His parents are the best at being absent. They deserve an award - this is sarcasm if you don't notice.
He remembers how his old teenage self would put the radio on and dance, to distract himself, to prove that he's okay with being alone.
But now, he prefers things to be quiet. Just him. And if there's no one hanging out in his house, he wouldn't talk. He just doesn't like the way his voice echos through the barren house.
One thing that he learned in the future, that hes able to use now, is cooking.
He wouldn't say he's good at it, he’s probably just an average cook.
He has enough money - allowance from his parents - to buy groceries and stuff. They are lucky he knows how to cook. Or they would definitely be considered the worst parents ever.
They already are. They don’t even acknowledge that their only child is in a top gang.
He never really realized it before, but he hates them now that he realizes how terrible they were.
But back to the cooking part. He knows how to make decent meals, he's not good at baking but Hina said she would teach him.
Talking about Hina, they are exes now. He honestly didn't expect her to just accept it but considering she knew about it sometime ago, she must have accepted the fact that he doesn't love her anymore.
Now, he finds himself in an empty living room like always.
Fighting the black dragons? He knows it's dumb but he needs to do something to change the future.
There's always something to fuck up his plan though, and that sucks.
Not to mention time leaping hurts. But because he’s build up a tolerance, its just mildly uncomfortable. He must have pretty high pain tolerance considering he always gets beaten up in the end.
He wonders if he’ll ever be able to create the future that everyone wants, he can only hope. He will try again, again, again and again-
Even if it means sacrificing himself.
He's not suicidal, no way. But he wants everyone to be happy. He had been running away from his life all this time, from his friends.
He has this mindset where it's best to run away from the things that chase you. I don’t know if you can tell but, it’s not a good mindset.
He has to solve the problems, not run away from them.
So now, life has given him the chance to make it up. To change the future.
Honestly, he’s sure he’s just that pathetic that life gave him a second chance.
If I said that Takemichi doesn't feel someone staring at him, I’d be wrong. He feels two eyes carefully observing him.
Did he do something wrong?
So he looks back at the eyes, "What's wrong?" he asked.
Mitsuyas eyes widen in suprise. He doesn't think Takemitchy would know he's watching him, after all that guy looks pretty oblivious.
"Nothing, you look different today." he had responded with that.
Takemitchi furrowed his eyebrows, "Do I? Oh, it must be the hair, isn't it?"
And that's actually a pretty good explanation. Takemitchy didn't have his usual hair, Mitsuya noted.
"Yeah. You didn't have your usual hair," he paused, "why?"
"Oh I thought it looks nicer like this. I mean if I got beat up or something my hair will be down anyway," he laughed, "and its more comfortable like this."
'That's actually pretty smart,' Mitsuya thought.
"It's looks pretty good like this. You should keep it down."
"I already thought about that," he smiled, "I still need to tone the hair color though."
"That's right." Mitsuya laughed, turning around and start walking away.
He had learned that Takemichi is not oblivious to his surrounding. So that means that if he wants to observe him, he has to be quick.
Mikey said he will ask about it if it's come down to it, so now Mitsuya thought he should at least observe the guys behavior.
Home stuff or not, it's just not like Takemitchy to smoke.
sorry if this was confusing. I wanted to make them observing him and stuff.
Chapter 3: I'm confused, what am I feeling?
Mikey were confused about his feelings towards Takemitchy. At the end, he figures it out.
(Read notes first please, to avoid confusion)
This is basically like, before the fic began. When he realized he likes him and stuff. I want to write what Mikey feeling really is. And maybe if Takemichi one day like him back, I will write about it too.
But it's probably will be like, later?
At first, Mikey was confused. He didn’t know when, but his feelings became a mess. He thought it was just his mind playing tricks.
But he was absolutely sure that it became like this because of him, Takemitchy.
He’s a mess. Doesn't know what to do, he’s never felt like this before.
And the only thing he could do was push the feelings down, hiding it. Because he doesn't know what he's feeling.
He has always been like that, talking carelessly. He smiles, even though there is no shine in his eyes to back it up.
He hides his unbearable side - that's one thing he has in common with Takemitchy, even if he doesn't know it yet.
So when he feels his heart flutter when he sees the blue-eyes boy, he panics. Because what is this?
He had asked Ken-chin, later in the evening.
Draken perks up.
'What does he want this time?', he thought.
"I'm confused." Mikey had said.
"Eh? Confused about what?" Draken asked in return.
"What do you do if you feel your heart racing too fast?" he paused, "but it's only when you saw this someone."
And wow, Draken was shocked. Because what the fuck? He knows for sure what the feeling that Mikey just described is. It's love, in his case it’s only a ‘like’ though. It takes time for like to become love.
Mikey, his friend (bestfriend?), his leader, and someone important, the Invincible Mikey, has a crush?
"You like someone?" Draken had blurted out, in shock.
For some reason, Mikeys eyes light up at that. Feeling the blood rush to his cheeks.
"That's the feeling?" he turns around looking at Ken-chin, "Is that what you feel around Emma?"
And this time, Draken blushed slightly.
"Yeah," he muttered.
"So I like someone huh?" he smiles, "That's nice."
"Who is it?" Draken look at him expectedly, but he doesn't answer and starts walking away. The taller boy scoffed at that.
It takes him many days to accept that he really likes Takemitchy.
At first he couldn’t, the other already has Hina. He's not that evil to steal someone else’s lover.
So he just shuts his mouth, he doesn’t do anything about his feelings.
He feels his heart tighten whenever the two look at each other in awe.
'Jealousy, huh?' he giggled at the thought.
With Takemitchy, he’s felt many emotions.
His eyes widen in suprise.
Takemitchy's eyes is not the same as it use to be when he looks at Tachibana Hinata.
Is this it? His chances? To make the other fall in love with him. Ah yes, his feelings have changed from like into love. No matter how many times he pushed the feelings down, they just keep on coming back.
Draken had a look that says he's concerned. He had found out about who Mikey likes - loves - through observing his behavior. Like the way he looks at Takemitchy with such fondness.
Mikey insisted that he doesn't want to do anything with these feelings, simply because Takemitchy already has Hina.
He has Hina. Even though his eyes doesn't show the same loving eyes towards the girl. He still is her lover.
And that's mean, Mikey couldn't do anything about it. So again, he shoves his hope down. It's pointless, why still have still have these feelings if he couldn't do anything about it? It sucks so much. He hates it.
For now, he’d punch the wall time and time again. Until his knuckles bleed out. Until someone stop him.
Why does he have these feelings for Takemitchy? He just wants to think of him as his brother, a replacement of Shinichirou.
But this what he got instead? Shit, he hates it.
And still- at the end, he lets the feelings do whatever they want.
He will protect the guy he loves, even though the feelings aren’t mutual.
Chapter 4: These nightmares just keep going, so I had to tell someone.
He wanders around mindlessly. Everything was black, everywhere he goes, it's black.
Sorry if it's confusing!!
He wanders around mindlessly. Everything is black, everywhere he goes, it's black.
He runs around, but there's nothing.
Suddenly, everything seemed to be spinning, then here he was, with Akkun on the roof.
Akkun’s back was facing him.
He knew exactly where is this going.
Akkun turned his head to look at him, "Where did things go wrong?"
Then, he stepped forward.
"Don't give up Takemichi," he smiled, "save all of them."
Takemichi felt himself stagger towards the other, "Akkun!!" he cried.
"Our crybaby hero."
No, don't say that.
"Akkun! Don't do it!!" he screamed.
"Akkun..?" he said quietly, looking down.
He stared blankly, then he screamed, loudly, deafeningly loud.
Then, it all changed.
He's hugging Hina, in the car that was wreaked by Akkun.
"I don't want someone so precious to die with me." Hina had said, calmly as if they -she- were not on the brink of death.
Hina pushed him out of the car. Smiling at him, and all he could do was stare back at the scene infront of him.
He screamed again.
And the it changed. As if someone want him to keep seeing it all.
He's staring at Chifuyu, who as a gun to his head.
"I leave Baji-san's will..."
Don't, he want to says.
Then Chiyufu glanced at him, "and Toman to you."
Once again, he screamed, tears running down his cheeks.
It just keeps changing. Draken almost dying. Baji's death. Hina’s Death.
It just keeps spinning, flashing through him.
"Help me." he choke out.
He’s on a bridge. Someone’s sitting on top of the rail.
"I want to give up."
His breath hitches. That's his own voice.
The person looked back at him, face rid of emotion.
"Save me." and, without a moments hesitation, he jumped. Takemichi ran towards the edge, looked down, and saw the terrified eyes looking back at him.
Suddenly, he was the one who was falling and the other looking at him, smiling.
He jolted out of his bed, panting. He looks around, relieved that he was, infact, is in his bedroom.
"What a nightmare." he whispered out, to no one in particular.
He ran his fingers through his hair. That was terrifying.
God, he hoped there was no more nightmares like that again.
"Huh? What the hell do you mean? 'Came from the future’?"
At that moment, Takemichi knew he fucked up. But he can't keep going on like this, he knew he had to tell him. He just had to.
So he spoke.
He spoke about how he went to the past on the day he died. How he joined Toman to save Hina from dying in the future. How he could only go back 12 years from the present day. About Mikey-kun, Draken-kun, Kisaki and Chifuyu's future.
The truth just spilled out from his mouth as if something was controlling him. He should’ve sworn not to tell anyone about the time leaps. He was so good at keeping it up until now, lying that he didn't get any sleep when people said he looked like he saw heath himself. Because he did. He saw his friends and Hina dying infront of his eyes and now he can only hope it was a dream. (He knows it's not)
He didn't know how this would affect the future, but still he continued since it's Chifuyu, the guy who died for him in the future. He lets his guard down and could only hope Chifuyu didn't think he's crazy.
"....And that's....," he swallowed, "everything I've done."
Chifuyu stared at him, then he looks down. "I'm gonna get killed by Kisaki?"
Oh no. OH NO. Did he actually said all of that? Out loud? Infront of Chifuyu? Did he just make the biggest mistakes ever!?
"So, I'm...gonna die.." the other muttered out.
Takemichi said the only thing he could think of right now, "Just kidding." He scratched his necks, avoiding Chifuyu's eyes. "I was just joking," He choke out a laugh.
Chifuyu stared at him, then turning to his right. After what feels like a few minutes he speak up, "Somehow, I always knew."
"Thinking about it, there's a lot that's off about you."
'Huh? What does he mean by that?'
"Also, there's been times where you've looked different."
Takemichi eyes widen, "Well... I mean, that's..."
Chifuyu stopped him from talking, "Before the fight with Valhalla, you told Baji-san, 'please, don't die." He turned to look at Takemichi. "I wasn't standing close enough so I didn't hear what you were talking about in details. But I definitely heard that."
Chifuyu bite his lips, "You knew that Baji-san was gonna die. That's why you were so desperate."
Takemichi looked down, staring at his shoes. "Yeah."
"I knew but I couldn't stop it." he paused, "even though I tried to save him..."
"You're pretty incredible." Chiyufu had said, making Takemichi look back at him with confusion.
"You've been fighting all alone, right?" he stared, "with nobody praising you or anything." And that is, right. That's absolutely right. He had to endure it all by himself. "Be proud of yourself, Takemitchy. The results doesn't matter!"
Takemichi froze, no one ever really said they were proud of him. And that's mean a lot to him.
He can't believe it, Chifuyu really believe all the bullshit he's spouting. They were really partners, weren't they?
He just hoped this would be the last time he had to go back to past.
Chapter 5: I just realized, it's quite lonely here.
It's quiet. Too quiet, Takemichi thinks. He likes it like that but he can't help but think that something will happen.
I'm quite impressed at myself, I write one chapter and update it everyday.
Anyways, this follow the manga but it just longgggg because you know, I wanted they to find out a little things about him before actually finding out.
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
It's quiet. Too quiet, Takemichi thinks. He likes it like that but he can't help but think that something will happen.
It's either good or bad.
Takemichi never thought of himself as good, because he just couldn't. He's not evil either. He's in the between. People tend to tell him he's a good kid, but is he? He used to be, maybe. He doesn't exactly remember his childhood and with all this memories from the past and future, it's harder to try to remember.
Though he remembers vividly that his mom would carry him around, saying "Don't worry, I'm sure you'll be a great hero. I'll be there for you," What a lie. She leave him all alone by himself, making him deal with his own ugly, awful thoughts. She lied awfully a lot too. "Everything will be okay if you run away from it." That's what exactly he did- now look where is he?
"You're my toughest son," his dad had said. He's an only child, there's no way he's the toughest. Stubborn, maybe?
They both left him alone in this empty house.
Come to think of it, it's kind of lonely. He looks around the house, there's no signs of life that living here, he noted.
His house is pretty simple, full of white and black color. Fake flowers as decorations around the house. He kinda want to buy a real flower — so people know there's someone actually living here.
He should get flowers that meaningful. Maybe he should get yellow tulip; it means hope.
He hopes a lot. Sometimes it's becoming hopeless, but still he would pray, to any god out there to at least, help him with this. He's no religious by any means — but if it's come down to it, he would be on his knees and pray to God, any god that is willing to help him.
He's not atheist, agnostic perhaps.
Neither believes or disbelieves.
If someone told him they would come visit him today at his house, he would have prepared. Now look at him, must be looking like shit infront of the others. Mikey, Draken, Mitsuya (no Hakkai-), Smiley, Angry and Chifuyu at his front door.
He sighs, "What are you guys doing here?"
"We realized we never been inside of your house and decides to come," Draken said.
"Should've told me, I could have prepared something." he mumbles out, gesturing them to come inside.
"Are your parents home?" Mitsuya had asked.
"No. I basically live by myself," he responded mindlessly, not realizing the others tense at that.
"Oh, why?" Mitsuya paused, "Sorry, that was probably rude of me to ask."
He waved him off, "No worries. My parents jobs aren't suitable for them to live at home." He lead them to the living room. Two blue couch on the sides, fluffy black carpet, a big but not really used telivision, simple glass table. A shelf full of book and fake plants. "Make yourself at home while I'm making the tea." he bowed to the six of them — a habit he probably should quit because it's embarassing — and they did make themselves at home, sitting at the couch lazily, Chifuyu and Mikey sit on the fluffy carpet. Smiley opening the telivision.
Takemichi walked towards the kitchen, taking the peppermint tea packets on one of the cabinet. He put in a glass jug and pour the hot water into it. His head tilted up when he hears the chatters coming from the living room, he smiles to himself, starting to stirs the water, mixing it.
When it's done, he proceed to put the jug onto a tray that already have seven cup on it and bring it to the living room.
They all turned to look at him as he enters, putting down the tray on the table beneath him. Carefully, he pour down the tea to the cup, handing it to the others. "It's peppermint. Hope you guys like it," he muttered out.
"Takemitchy." Angry speaks up. Takemichi look to his side, furrowing his eyebrows, asking the other to continue. "What do you mean by not suitable to live at home?"
"Oh-, my father's in military and mother always have a business trip." his voice fell slightly, "so they can't always stay here."
Silence filled the living room, leaving the chatters on telivision.
"Anyways, is there any other reason why you guys came here?" he stand up, "because no way you guys here just for a visit."
"Eh, that's not nice of you, Takemitchy." Mikey tease, "We just came here to visit you~!"
"Mhm, sure." he mumbles, "I'm making something, any of you guys have allergies or something?"
"You can cook?" Chifuyu asked. They all looked at him, confused to as why he didn't know because he have been here before.
"Of course I can cook," Takemichi said, annoyed. "If not, how do I live by myself just by eating out?"
"Oops, sorry." Chifuyu laughed, "No offence, you just don't seem the type who can cook."
"Eh!? You guys who doesn't seem the type that can cook, not me. I'm honestly the least person to be thinking of like that." he sneered.
"Well, whatever. Do anything you guys want, I have some board games in my bedroom at second floor if you guys want." he stated, walking out of the living room.
To says Takemitchy's house is not what Mitsuya had expect would be an understatement. He had expect a very combo of colors around the house and not just, full of white and black. The lack of noise around the house.
There's a lot of fake flowers and plants, he would have not expect Takemitchy to like those kind of things.
Takemitchy is full of secrets, like he's hiding a lot of things.
Mitsuya had asked about Takemitchy parents to confirm his suspicion about his home life and also Takemitchy never mentioned his parents, so he was curious - to say the least.
He was surprised when the other had said he lived alone. So he asked why, that was plainly rude of him — he knows, so he added that.
Takemitchy had gave him the reasoning behind that, so basically he knows that the cigarettes smell is from Takemitchy himself — that means, he's a smoker, but why? Why would someone like him smoke? To feel relieved from all the stress, but what kind of stress?
"Eh, that's not nice of you, Takemitchy. We just came here to visit you~!" Mikey said, of course that's not the truth, Mitsuya would know. Mikey had wanted to know about why he smokes. But he can't just give it away by asking him, so they use observation. The others didn't know of course, Mikey had just dragged them here.
Another discoveries, Takemitchy can cook. That's wow, nice.
He knows he said to do anything they want and make themselves comfortable, but it's honestly straight up rude that they come uninvited and more less Takemitchy making them food, so he stand up and finding the kitchen.
"Takemitchy." he speaks up, startling the blonde. He laughed when he saw him wearing an apron.
"Eh, Mitsuya-kun? What are you doing here?" he asked, while cutting the potatoes.
"I felt bad leaving you making us food, so I came here to help." Mitsuya saw Takemitchy smiles at that but then he frowns.
"You don't need to. I'm okay by myself, Mitsuya-kun." he turn around with a bowl filled with thin potatoes (just what is he making?) and went to the table top.
"Its fine, really." Mitsuya paused, tilted his head to look at what Takemitchy doing. "What are you making, anyway?"
"Oh. Just some potatoes snacks. I cut it making sure it to be thin then mix it with flour that I already done stiring. Then I will fries it. It just like french fries, but have more into it." Oh, nice description there, Takemitchy. Such a great malewife someone could ever asked for, Mitsuya snickers at his own thoughts.
"You really know how to cook huh?"
"That's what 26 years living alone experience did to you." he mumbles out, catching Mitsuya off guard. What the hell did he meant by that?
Mitsuya wanted to ask but stopped when Takemichi's expression doesn't look like he realizes what he had just blurted out.
What an odd thing.
The cooking part were inspired from crybaby special series by @cricketbone .
Chapter 6: Hurts more than anything is loneliness.
It was a dumb idea to accept Kisaki's help, he knows that, but hey, if he wants to at least change the future he had to do something.
This is contains Black Dragon arc spoilers, I guess?? Just so you know, it might not makes sense or anything.
So anyways, since this fanfic that kinda follow the timeline, it will not follow all of it. Like you know, he broke up with Hina before an actual broke up because of her father so that's mean that didn't happen, also the other doesn't know it yet. It seems like they are still together because you know,,,, bestfriends??
I'm sorry lol if this confusing.
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
It was a dumb idea to accept Kisaki's help, he knows that, but hey, if he wants to at least change the future he had to do something.
So now they are in this situations. Mitsuya's head bleeding from getting hit. Yuzuha is full of bruises.
Chifuyu's on the floor. Hakkai's body shaking, terrified of his own brother.
It doesn't makes sense, how can siblings escalated to killing each other? "This the path we siblings chose.", Yuzuha had said. Takemichi was an only child, he doesn't have any siblings but he was fucking sure that no siblings would want to kill each other.
Family were supposed to be lovely, how the hell it become like this? Even if Takemichi hated his parents for being absent, he wouldn't kill them.
So tell him, just what the fuck happened here?
He had nothing. No friends he could open up to, he was all alone. Because he was used to runaway. It was lonely, all by himself.
"You're wrong, Hakkai." he speaks, while trying to stand up to his feet again after getting a hit. "You're the one who won't change."
He's gonna change the future, he first swore to do that back when Akkun died.
On those dirty alleyway, he felt like he had to shoulder the entire burden alone. He felt so anxious, afraid and more importantly helpless.
But, little by little, bit by bit, they all accepted him. It's nice to not runaway again, like the way he was used to.
If he stand on the ground here, at the church on the night before Christmas, the future might still not change.
But it'd be fine even if there's a smallest chances.
He punch Taiju in the jaw, while Taiju did the same but in the face.
That hurt. He fall to the floor beneath him.
"Tsk, didn't even hurt." Taiju had said. Of course it didn't, the motherfucker is thousand time stronger than him. He's fragile, weaker, so it would hurt so much, it could even killed him — but it doesn't, he have that much pain tolerance.
It's fine, he would change the future even if it's the price of his own life. He's selfless like that, but it's fine.
He bring his feet to stand up again, panting. His hair hiding his face, but he knows the expression Hakkai is making.
"Even the smallest chances," he mumbles out.
"Takemichi... please.. just stop, already." Hakkai said, his voice shaking slightly. He must be so scared, Takemichi noted.
"That I can change the future." he step forward, "Then isn't it worth risking my life?"
Hakkai is frightened, his friends is getting beat up. Taka-chan is bleeding. His sister is full of bruises.
He wanted Takemitchy to stop, it hurts seeing his friends getting beat up over and over again just for him.
Takemitchy looked up at him, "Hakkai, fighting on isn't painful." Huh? It is surely painful. "What hurts more than anything...." he paused.
"Is loneliness." Takemitchy smiles, and that scared Hakkai.
He gulped, what does Takemitchy knows about loneliness? Has he always been by himself all this time?
"We're friends, aren't we?" And that breaks Hakkai, tears started to running down his face.
"Help me, Takemitchy." Hakkai said.
"Leave it to me Hakkai."
Everything's okay at the end. Takemitchy has passed out, but it thanks to him that Hakkai and Yuzuha didn't become a killer.
Hakkai think back to the blonde's words. Loneliness, huh? He seems like a different person for a moment there. Like Hakkai could see all the burden oh his shoulder. And that makes Hakkai realized, Takemitchy's been fighting by himself, so he wanted to help him. He doesn't know with what but he needs to, because the other help him.
So he went to Taka-chan after a few days has passed. It just his guts feeling telling him the older know something.
"Taka-chan, do you think Takemitchy is hiding something?" he asked, while sitting down in the living room.
"What makes you think that?"
"I don't know, but the way he said his words is something else. You know, when he said 'Fighting on isn't painful bla bla,'" he paused. "It looks as if I can see all the burden is his shoulder, but I'm not sure what is it. So I thought I could ask you."
Mitsuya stared at him. So Hakkai wanted to help, huh?
"Well, this is not confirmed yet."
"Takemitchy," he turns around, "seems like he needs help. I don't think you know this yet, but sometimes, you could smells cigarettes from him."
"Are you implying he's a smoker, Taka-chan?" Hakkai asked, "because there's no way he is! He's too pure for that shit!"
The older shrugged, "That's why. There's must be something more into it, no way he smokes because he feels like it."
"Are we gonna ask him?"
"No, I talked to Mikey. He didn't give the reasons but it seems like we will be observing his behavior."
"Oh. I guess that is for the best." Hakkai looked down, "I just hope he will be okay."
"Me too. Trust me, we will help him."
Stay tuned for the next chapter, I don't know if it will be out tomorrow because I'm currently a mess in the head. Like I know how this all will ended but I don't how it goes to the ending? Anyways this probably will have like 20 chapter??? Idk, we will see.
Chapter 7: Its burning my skin, but I feel so relieved.
The moment Takemichi thought everything's over, things become more complicated.
I just realized Angry were not supposed to be introduced until the part where Takemichi come back again to the future but hey, who cares right? This is my fanfic, Imma introduced the characters early than it's supposed to.
This honestly only follow the arc, like I'm doing different storyline but still follow the black dragons arc to tenjiku arc. I don't even know.
I think I'm going to introduce Senju early, like Senju as just a highschool girl who loves shopping not as Kawaragi Senju the unbeatable idk lol.
Bear with it I guess.
Anyways trigger warning ⚠️. Like I don't mean the punching violence, I'm talking about self-harm here.
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
The moment Takemichi thought everything's over, things become more complicated.
Another fucked up future to add to the list. Just the time he still not recover from it, another gang called Tenjiku, arise.
He met his childhood friend, Kaku-chan. He would be fucking happy if they are not enemies at the time. The most shocking is, the other want him to fucking save the leader, Kurokawa Izana, from Kisaki.
How the hell did he supposed to do that?!
Toman even want to fucking have a battle with them. Things happen so fast.
Chifuyu had asked him to go to the future to seek information from Naoto.
He found out Izana is Toman's one and only executive. But he was the Black Dragon's captain? That doesn't makes sense, did he forget something here?
Wait- Koko and Inupi! They are the ex-members of Black Dragons. Where are they now? If he could meet those two and learn something, this things would a bit less complicated. But he doesn't even know where they are now. Hold up, maybe he should check out that place!
"Woah!! How nostalgic," he paused, "even though they were not good memories." he sit down.
This were the place where he fought the Black Dragons, he thought it would finally bring them a better future. He prevent Yuzuha from killing their brother, the Black Dragons got recruited into the first division and they got Kisaki out of Toman.
He sighs, "Despite all that, the future doesn't get better, in fact it got so much worse."
"Fuck!? What should I do now?!" he screamed, not caring about the others in there.
Few days before, he was punching the tire. He was so frustrated, he just wanted to hurt himself, that's all he can thought of.
Mikey died in his arms. He still can feel the other's warmth in his hands. He's so angry, at the fucked up future, at Mikey for thinking he could killed him, and more importantly at himself.
He's so pitiful. It's almost hilarious.
No one ever saw him having those moments before; breakdowns. Because he couldn't let people see him and think he's more disgusting than they thought. But still, Chifuyu saw it.
He must be looking like shit at the time.
Even now, Naoto fucking died and he can't return to the future.
He wanted to save Hina at first, because he loved her (he still did but not that kind of love) but now he wants to save just everyone.
Who is he kidding? Maybe he should just die.
He looked up, his bedroom is a mess. Yet another breakdown. He sighs, cigarettes, he needs his cigarettes.
He stand up, stumbled over his drawer and trying to find his pack of cigarettes. His eyes widen when he realized its missing.
He panicked and rush downstairs to the living room. He runs his fingers through his hair, panting. No no, he can't have panic attack over this.
He throws away everything, searching for his cigarettes. He needs it. It's the only way he would feel better.
He breath out and breath in, going upstairs and looking through his closet. He sighs in relief when he found the pack.
He flick his lighter on, irritated. He falls to his knees, it's nice. He feels a little better.
And his mind suddenly remind him from the scenes that happened just a few hours ago in the future.
( "Naoto...I'm sorry," he said, panting while bleeding from getting shot.
"Takemichi-kun. When I first saw you in the future timeline, you got me depressed."
"Huh?" Takemitchi frowns.
"I thought to myself, can this pathetic wimp really commit to all this?" Naoto paused, "How can my sister fall in love with such a person? It's weird."
It really is, Naoto. She even love him after he broke up with her. Now thinking of it, he was pretty shitty. He can't even love her anymore.
"No matter how much you failed, you always come back to me. Now that I think of it..," he stares at the sky, "that's what a hero would act like." he laughed, "You never give up, even when you've failed so many times."
Takemichi look to his side, Naoto looking at him smiling as he said, "You are my pride." )
He grumble furiously, accidentally making his cigarettes tip to his skin. He flinched.
His widen in suprise, it somehow feel great.
He silently motion his left hand to the cigarettes on his right hands finger.
He whimpered as his cigarettes burn his skin.
He move it slowly on his arms.
he did this to himself.
He winces at the pain. Nicotine smell roamed around his room.
He shut his eyes close.
He deserves it.
Next chapter will be about all the others POVs, not included Takemichi.
Hope you guys enjoy this?? I tried to make him show that he panicked when his cigarettes like lost?? You know, people tend to panic about it and would be hyperventilating something like that. Well, it's my own experiences so idrk about you guys.
Chapter 8: Don't act like you're okay, we know you're not.
I tried making all of this longer lol. Anyways hope you guys like it :).
Draken was not dense.
He knew that some of his friends are observing Takemitchy, though he won't bother to asked. He was honestly surprised, he usually was ones of the first people to know if something is up. But this time, he didn't and that come out as shocked.
Maybe because the fact he was used to smelling a lot of things, after all he was raised inside a brothel. At the point he doesn't even realize Takemitchy smells like cigarettes. Maybe he did realize, just thought it was the blonde parents' or he came across people who were smoking.
He wanted to help, of course. But the other didn't approach him with anything about it, so he stayed quiet.
He owe Takemitchy his life, the guy save him while he, himself was getting stab in the hand. He had managed to take down Kiyomasa by choking him until he passed out, Draken was surprised. He had even carried Draken, the guy who was in fact, more taller and weight more.
Takemitchy didn't give up, not even if so life was at stake, he had acknowledge that. It was admirable — even if it was kinda stupid to let your life in the way.
When Baji had died, Takemitchy managed to stop Mikey from killing Kazutora, getting a massive hit a few times; he didn't passed out, that was something.
He won't know what he would feel if two people that are precious to him had died that day, it was thanks to Takemitchy. He couldn't even handle one people dying, imagine if it's two, that would suck.
He would describes Takemitchy as a pure person, it just seems like him. But the more he knows him, it doesn't make sense that the guy would try to do something even if his life in the way. Draken had thought that was a dumb thing to do. Although, the guy seems different from time to time, sometimes he's somewhat childish, sometimes he just looks more older and mature, and sometimes he's both. Its weird. Just what the hell happened that make the other wanted to save everyone so much?
The first time he had gone to Takemitchy's house, he was suprise to know the other lives alone. Don't get him wrong, but it just seems unbelievable. The guy doesn't look like a person who have parents issues, but he did.
But the more he thought about it, it makes some sense that he sometimes would look mature. Still, it's weird that the guy seems used to with it.
It's good to know that they could arrange an emergency meeting whenever now because they know no one would be in Takemitchy's way if he was to go out in the middle of the night though.
Even so, it confirmed that the cigarettes smell was from he, himself. Which is surprising, because god no, why would he smokes?
Chifuyu would be lying if he said he doesn't fucking smells nicotine from the blonde.
After all, Takemitchy was his partner. The guy trust him enough to tell about the time leap. It must be so hard for him.
He wanted to confront him about it, but it seems like he needs space. It makes sense for the guy to use smoking as coping mechanism. He's basically an adult inside a teenager.
A man-child? A child-man?
To be fair, he would thought it doesn't makes sense but after knowing all about the things, it simply connect. He's from the future, that's mean he might have already taste alcohol and smokes before, so it wasn't that surprising.
When he found him at the playground punching the tire with bloody knuckles, he was concerned. He was terrified finding out Mikey killed just everyone in the future.
Pain could be feel in his heart when Takemitchy said he can still feels the other's warmth the moment he died.
It's a deja vu.
He experience that before, when Baji-san died. So he knows how painful that is, at least he could actually shares what it feels like since he couldn't before because he never experience any of the traumatic events.
That's right, it must be traumatic for Takemitchy.
He can't even imagine how many nights have the guy stay awake because of the nightmares. He doesn't know for sure if the other did have nightmares but it would surely makes sense if he did. Chifuyu hasn't been able to sleep nicely after Baji-san died unless after he had accepted it. So what about Takemitchy? It's more than one people that died infront of him.
It must be really hard.
He hadn't heard anything from him, he was sure the other would be back from the future at this time.
Well, he would see him later, so it's fine (it's not).
Chifuyu has been eyeing his captain. He looks tired today, did something happen in the future?
"You look like shit." Draken said, as a greeting.
"Geez, I know. Thank you very much," Takemichi mumbled out.
"I'm serious, Takemitchy. You look like you haven't gotten any sleep."
"It's just an off day, don't worry." he waved the taller boy off, dismissing him.
Chifuyu scoffed at that, he knows there's more than that and he know the other thinks so too.
For a second, the light in Takemitchy's eyes disappear. It looks so dull, lifeless.
Mitsuya, Mikey, Draken, Chifuyu and Hakkai notices.
He looks so so tired and desperation could be seen.
Mitsuya patted him, "You okay there, Takemitchy?"
Startled, he stammer out, "I'm fine."
Liar. They know he's not.
Mitsuya thinks it weird. Like more weird than usual.
What does he mean by '26 years living alone experiences'? He's just fourteen, how can it suddenly be twenty-six?
The worst part is, Takemitchy didn't even realize he had said that. Like it's a usual things to say out of nowhere.
When he had saw the guy looking like shit at their captains meet-up, Mitsuya was worried. Have Takemitchy been staying awake? Why he does he looks so tired? Why does he looks so uncaring? So many questions lingering in his mind.
Mitsuya is known to the fact that he's like their mother hen. Caring about them, their health issues, most importantly, their mental health issues.
He wonders if Takemitchy got any of those? Surely, the guy would act like he didn't just smoke, but now he just looks so done.
Mitsuya really want to help, but before that he will let the blonde collect himself first.
Sano Manjirou know exactly when people are done with life and let the darkness consume them each day, because that's what he's been trying to fight all this time.
So you could imagine how shocked he was when saw the person he loves, are the one who were never give up, is done with life.
Mikey once said that, he's not that strong to Takemitchy, he meant it mentally of course. Takemitchy is stronger than him in that kind of things. But right now, he just looks so tired, dead tired.
"Takemitchy," he called out to him.
Takemitchy startle by the sudden call, turn around so fast, that Mikey wonder if it's hurt.
"Yeah, Mikey-kun?" the guy asked.
"Wanna go to the park with me." he had said, it's not a question.
"Uh- I don't really know. I'm a bit busy." Yeah, busy with smoking and mental breakdowns (Takemichi is the one who thought this.)
"I'm not asking you wether you want or not." Mikey scoffed.
"Oh," he paused looking unsure, "right now?"
The guy sighs, "Fine."
Mikey smiles at that. He wants to take Takemitchy somewhere where there is no one really around, you know to refresh his thoughts and shits.
Well he really hope this would at least works a little.
Hakkai have been glancing at Takemitchy. He was pretty sure the guy would collapse any minutes now, but surprisingly he last until their meet-up over.
Mitsuya shot him a look, ‘We'll talk about this later,’
He nodded, turning away.
After Takemitchy had left with Mikey. Angry suddenly spoke up, "Don't you think its kinda weird? There's no way it's just ‘an off day’."
"Yeah, he looks like he haven't been sleeping. Did you see how bad his eyebags got to?" Peh-yan said.
"Do you think he's okay?" Angry asked, looking at them.
"Probably not." Smiley answered.
"Figured you would say that, brother. Well you guys?"
"Don't think so."
"I shouldn't have asked." Angry mutter
"You shouldn't have." Chifuyu laughs.
"We give him space, then afterwards we asked what's wrong with him." Draken cut them off. They all give him a look, suprise he didn't follow Mikey to forbid something bad from happening but oh well.
"That's right. Although, there's a few things that's bothering me." Mitsuya stated, glancing at Hakkai.
"What is it?" Smiley asked, curious.
"He," he paused looking around, "do you think he's a smoker? If he is, then why? Like what's the reason for that? Is he stress? About wh-"
Hakkai tugged his shoulder, "Taka-chan, you're worrying too much."
"He's right though. I smells cigarettes from him." Peh-yan said.
"Yeah, I thought it was from his parents but then I remembered that he said he lives alone." Angry added.
"Wait- he lives alone?! Why didn't I know this?" Hakkai whines.
Mitsuya shrugs, "You weren't there at the time."
"Huh? And you didn't bother to tell me at all? What is this behavior Taka-chan, are you okay?" Hakkai asked in a fake genuinely concerned tone. He brings his left hand to the guy's forehead, pretending to check the temperature.
Mitsuya shot him a dead look before slapping the hand away. They all snickers at the scenes.
"As much as funny this is. We have other matter to focus on. Let's all meet up later, tommorow at huh.... Hakkai's." Draken ordered.
"Huh, why my house??" Hakkai frowns.
"It's big." Chifuyu respond, half-heartedly.
"It's nice." Smiley said, cheekily.
"It's comfy." Mitsuya said, avoiding the gaze.
"What? Even you? Fine."
"I know we can count on you, Hakkai. Well, goodbye then." Draken waved them off.
Well that's settles it, Mitsuya thinks.
Chapter 9: It makes me feel relieved, but how?
What will Hina thinks when she found out about Takemichi? Hence, what does Mikey feel seeing his bitch looking so tired?
What about Takemichi right now?
Hey!! Sooo, I've been busy and I kind of need to take a small break? Also, I have a lot of things to do and stuff. I also had a minor breakdown but we see that coming is that's fine. Well hope you guys like this chapter? It's not that long.
I probably should say TW for suicidal thoughts, self-harm, vomiting.
This might be somehow vent shot??
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Hina loves Takemichi. She will always have a special place for him in her heart, no matter what. But she knew she had to let go. But hey, it's takes time to move on, right?
She passed him one day, but it seems like he didn't notice her. She glance at him, blinking when she saw what he looks like.
He has an eyebags, half-lidded eyes that could close any minutes, looking uncaring about strangers giving him pity glances. Because god, he looks so tired and could just passed out if he keeps going but surprisingly he just keep walking, on not-so fast pace.
He seems to be going somewhere in urgent?
Hina is worried for him, so she decided to follow a little, to at least know that he's okay and did not faint.
He goes to an alleyway, she follows slowly.
She gasped silently when she saw someone, or not just someone, it's uhh, she doesn't really remember who?but she was sure she saw him somewhere, giving Takemichi a three packs of cigarettes.
She tried to listen to their conversation,
"This is the second time this week, you know." the person said.
Takemichi scoffed, "And? You know I couldn't buy it, apparently I look too nice. I can only count on you on this, Hanma."
"I'm like, your enemy right now Takemitchy." Hanma teases.
"I know, but outside we're uh, acquaintances? Yeah. Also, people know you smoke, they won't be suspicious if you buy a lot of it."
"Uh, fine. Only cus you fucking give me money, you bastard. How can people thought you to be an angel in disguise? You're devil in disguise." He chuckled out.
"I don't know? Probably, because I never show this side of me to anyone?" Takemichi mutter.
"Of course~," he playfully said, "isn't it kind of amusing that we are enemies? We stay loyal to our own people but we still meet up."
"Haha, yeah. We couldn't let them know we are an acquaintances though, they will think we're traitors or something bullshit like that." Takemichi sighs, rubbing his neck awkwardly.
"As if, I'm very loyal to my dear Kisaki~"
"Of course you are."
Hina gulped, starting to walk away.
She had so many things to process. First off, her lovely ex is a smoker? How the hell she did not know this? She kissed him before.
Second, isn't Hanma Toman's enemies? They did said something about being enemies but still meet up just for a pack of cigs, which is weird.
Third, what does the guy mean when he said Takemichi is devil in disguise?
Is it possible that she doesn't know Takemichi like she thought she did? Well, that's not impossible but its shocking to know he smoke. Like no one, like really no one would have expect that.
So, to say the least, she was worried.
It hurts to see him like this, every once in awhile the shining eyes that full of hope would disappear.
It scares Mikey.
Sano Manjirou was the person who hid his unbearable side from the others to not worry them. Because it would make him feel like he did something worse, he was supposed to help them, pick up their burden and protect them. That's what it means to be a leader.
Not the other way around.
He swallowed down the guilt for not being able to help Takemitchy. He doesn't know how to help other deals with their emotional burden. He was not good at that type of things. He never was, he knew how to hide it but not deal with it.
It's even more hurt to see Takemitchy's eyes slowly losing its shine. The smiles his giving sometimes are empty, just like his.
And that what makes it more unbearable to see, because he didn't sees Shinichirou, but he instead sees himself in the guy he loves.
But who is he kidding? No way he could help the guy while he, himself need help.
Ouch, what a painful truth.
(But. Maybe, they could help each other.)
Something black grabbing both his hands, Takemichi gasped, try to run away from it but it keeps on tight grasp on him. It hurts.
And then, it grab his feet, making him fall over the white tiles. Where is he?
He crawls and crawls trying to get away from whatever the things that chasing him. He shouted, "Help!".
But he knows no one is there other than the white tiles and the abyss on the opposite side.
Suddenly, he can't breath and feel something on his necks, he screamed when he saw the black things around it. He struggles to get out of the grasp.
He pushed and trying to get the black things out of the way. But he, he can't.
He panicked, screamed, cried.
Then, he was back in his bedroom, gasping for air and sweats all over his body. Tears streaming down his cheeks, throat aching, the headache that running like electricity inside his head.
He thinks back to the dream, he was so scared and thought he was going to die right there and there by the way the black things are on his neck, suffocating him.
Oh god, that was terrifying — the thought of dying was terrifying. And it makes him feel a churns on his stomach and the feeling that coming from it to his throat. He jolted out, realizing that the feeling is going to make him throw up.
He rushed to the bathroom, puking all the things inside him. He choke, feeling disgusted at the taste.
The thought of dying is just- is just so scary. He doesn't want to die, no way he wants that! He doesn't! He is sure of it! No way. No way, he wants to die.
But what if he does want to?
He shook his head and then a memories flashed his mind. It's not exactly a memories, rather a dream, a nightmare.
The person- sitting on the rail of the bridge, was him. He, the person, him, said 'save me.' What does that mean? Why the person, god okay it's him, need saving?
Why would 'he' needs saving? The others are the ones that needs saving — not him. They, they got killed in other timelines so sure they are the one who needs saving, help.
It, it doesn't make sense at all! That's making him frustrated with all this, this fucking shit. He, oh my god, just wants to slip into the endless slumber. Imagine how good that is.
And God, why does God hate him so much that he? she? they? decided to fucking give him a second chances to make things all right?! They, he, everyone know he's fragile — a fragile crybaby at that.
He put his hands up, examining the little burn on it. He, he almost feel relieved seeing it, almost. Why would he feel relieved? He doesn't understand? Why would hurting himself, make him relieved? But it doesn't matter, it doesn't as long this things make him feel nice, better or whatever a word there is.
I choose Hanma to be the one who buy cigarettes for Takemichi since he was seen to smoke quite a lot. And from that, Michi approached him to ask him buy cigarettes for him and he will give him money.
They're just acquaintances or, you could say they are the cigarettes duo? Like they would meet up once, and smoke and talk nonsense and then, they act like they don't fucking know each other and are nothing more than enemies.
Something like that, yeah.
Maybe I will make them become friends after all this Tenjiku shits over? I'm not planning to kill anyone else lol, I'm too kind to do that. But I will make Michi suffer more, before I make him slowly getting better haha. I'm so nice, be thankful for that. (Kinda sad that I make Baji died but this is for character development)
I love Hina and Mikey so I don't have the heart to make them suffer more than this. (I love michi so much which is why I'm projecting myself ahha)
Anyways hope you guys did enjoy this??
Hskawusj, uhhh, idk when next chapter will be up but maybe next week?? I will try to make it longer! Promise :)
Chapter 10: Pretending is the best solution as always.
It's fine, really.
god. I am so sorry for not updating!! I was busy with school and exam! I was also taking a break. I just finished this chapter today, it's not long like I thought it should be because I can't seem to get any idea!! But for the next chapter, I'm sure I already got a pretty cool idea.
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
He takes a breath deep before stepping out of the house.
He's been trying to get a proper sleep for the past few days considering the fight with Tenjiku is near. He also need to tend the cigarettes burns he left on his arms.
Right now, he's going out to buy groceries and some sort of things to help the burns heals. Bandages, antibiotics ointment and maybe a concealer? It would be suspicious for him to wear bandages all the time. Meaning, at home will be; bandages, outside; concealer. Also basic things.
The burns is not that bad since he didn't actually put it to long onto his skins. There's a just circle burns of sort.
It's not bad really, he just so frustrated at the fact he feel relieved. Why would he feel relieved? He knows why, of course.
People tend to feel relieved instead of pain because it's somehow letting him to out the stress, that's exactly why he did what he did.
He's so disgusting.
He walks on the side of the road, looking over the calmly. The guys did gave him a bike and he somehow felt bad that he didn't use it — sometimes though, it would be a good idea to walk; enjoying the scenery.
He step forward into the market, looking around, he started to walk to the vegetables part. Checking his list once in a while to make sure he didn't forget anything.
After that, he went to the medical aisle. He looks through the items on the shelf. He took and held the medical supplies, examine it.
Then grabbed a few items. He caught sight of burn cream. He probably should buy it too, considering it is a burn after all.
He took the most affective cream (considering the ingredients and instructions), started walking to the cashiers area.
If someone or well a group of people were following all the way through here and no one notices? Yeah, that's fine.
"What the fuck are we supposed to do here?" A hoarse voice said, annoyed to as why they are following the first division captain of toman to a fucking supermarket.
"To see if we could know why Takemitchy been acting weird lately," a pause. "Peh-yan, if you really don't want to be here you can leave you know." Mitsuya frowns at him.
"Guys. Hey, hey."
"What Chifuyu?" Draken asked.
"Look! He's going to the medical aisle!" Chifuyu gesture towards the guy who is oblivious to the fact that 4 people that follow him.
"And? He got beat up a lot, makes sense if he want to buy more bandages or something." Peh-yan holding the urges to rolled his eyes off.
"No! Look again, he took a burn cream!" he said, violently gestures towards the guy again. Why would he need a burn cream? No way he would get burn from cooking! He's good at it, though there's a possibility but still! This doesn't add up at all. "Why would he need a burn cream?"
Draken look confused before speaking up, "Could be he accidentally burn himself or something."
"From cooking? He's a pretty great cooker, doubt he would need to treat the burn though." Let Mitsuya said what Chifuyu were thinking.
"He could get infection if he didn't treat it. But yeah, no way he would get a large burn from cooking." Draken voice his concerns.
"Right. Well, look. He's going to finish buying shits off, let's go." Peh-yan starting to leave. Running a little, Chifuyu caught up with him, looking thoughtful. Mitsuya frowning deepen, worried more about the said guy. Draken walk behind them, looking around mindlessly.
Welp, the other guys are not there because they have gone to a full plan on how to know more about Takemitchy by observing (and stalking but we don't talk about that.)
The fluffy but messy hair guy is somewhere in the crowd, determine to look back to normal.
But if he breaks and lose himself after this? No one surely know what to do.
Acting like you're okay is easy enough. Smile, reassures, laugh it off. See, easy.
Well at least for someone who's been doing it almost all of his life.
It's fine, really. He can handle all of this. Make sure everyone doesn't worry and get more people into this. He's fine. He will be, eventually.
( Liar. )
He ran his fingers through his hair, he desperately need to tone the color down. His black roots is growing, he probably should do something about it. He grabbed a bleach for the hair and a blonde hair dye on the sink.
He looked at the mirror sighing, he got to work.
He feels the warm water around him as soon as he got to the bath tub. He lets his body hits the bottom of it. Letting his hair splashed with water.
His vision blur as he stare at the wall.
"Save all of them, our crybaby hero."
His breathing quickening.
"I don't want someone so precious to die with me."
His body shakes.
"I leave Baji-san's will and Toman to you, partner."
His head drop into the water.
He jolted, coughing out water. Tears streaming down his red cheeks. Patting his chest. He walked out from the tub, grabbing the towel and went to his bedroom. He fall into his bed, not caring that the water will likely wet it.
'Did he just try to suffocate himself?'
Next chapter : Takemichi's mother is coming back from a business trip! What will Takemichi do :)?
Chapter 11: Black outs and unintentional scars. / Money is the reason we exist.
Takemichi is in denial, having a black out is not a good thing, he knows that. But hey, let's ignore it as long as we can?
And the scars? Yeah, it's unintentional. (Its not.)
He also spent a very nice day with his mother.
TW!! :. Denial of having suicidal thoughts, self-harm, blacking out.
I tried to make her nice and caring but also oblivious to what's going on inside her son's mind.
I also don't know how to tend scars, like I never did with my own self-inflected scars so yeahhh. Imma just did what I think people did. Btw, I didn't know how to describe black outs so yeahhh, like I know disassociate but not black outs.
I'm planning on making thing longer but with school, things got busy and I doesn't always have time to write so the update got to almost everyday to once or twice a month.
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
It's okay. It's not like he knows what he was thinking at the time, or well he wasn't. It's not like Takemichi know what he was doing. It just sort of....happened. It was unintentional, so it's fine. He was not suicidal — he told himself that many times. His body just move on its own, so no, he didn't attempt suicide.
It didn't count if he didn't know what he was doing.
The sudden shiver in his spine made him jolted out the bed. He breaths heavily, making his way to the closet, searching for clothes. He sighs, taking the pack of cigarettes from the table, lighting it up before putting it on his mouth. He look through the closet again, deciding that he should just wear whatever.
Takemichi then walked out from his bedroom and went to the kitchen, he should start making dinner. Pacing around for a whole minutes before deciding on katsudon for today.
He rubs his neck, irritated. Absentmindedly pinching his skin.
He still thinks about the dream, the one where he asked himself to save him. Then he jumped – he fucking jumped. If that isn't suicidal, then what is it? But the important question is, why would he? As far as he knows, he ain't suicidal (the bathroom incident didn't matter, he wasn't thinking!). He wasn't. He wanted to save everyone, by that means, he had to stay alive. And by staying alive meaning, no dying — in the past, at least.
A knock on his door interrupt him from his thoughts. Takemichi hurriedly turn off the stove and wash his hands before going to the front door. He take a deep breath and open it.
Definitely not expecting a long black hair woman with brown eyes. Eyes widening in recognition, mouth hanging open slightly.
This is awkward, so awkward. He could even feel the awkwardness in the air.
It's been so long since he last saw his mother, considering with all the time travel things.
His mother had died, a few years into the future. He wonders if he's being in the past change something with his parents. Surely, it did so far.
"So, uh, why are you here?" Takemichi pause, okay that sounds rude – this is her house too (not like she ever stay here more than a week). "Not that you can't! Just wondering why is all! I was so sure you will be back next month or something," he gestures wildly.
"I got a promotion!" the woman said, happily. "So I came here as fast as I could, wanting to celebrate it with my dear son."
"That's great!" He faked beamed.
"It is! I got to have a job in the company near here with an absolute very much money." his mom then stood up, "I'm tired so we'll go out to celebrate tommorow. Have you eaten yet, Take?"
"No I haven't, but I was cooking before you came here."
"Oh? I didn't know you can cook. But it makes sense, what did you make?"
"Katsudon. Do you want to eat with me?" he asked, standing up and walked to the door to the hallway. Of course it makes sense, he couldn't eat out all of his life!
"Sure. Let me change first, my room is still the same?"
"Yeah. Don't worry, I keep it tidy every week." he waved off, rushing to the kitchen and start finishing the left off meals. He did it just because he doesn't have anything to do in this lonely, empty house.
"You're welcome, mom."
(Please go away.)
It's suffocating - Takemichi knows he should be glad that he could see his mother again. But he just can't, before this he never realized that his parents were being kinda neglectful. How could he? His parents sent his allowance every month, and it's a lot too, but then the whole time leaping thing got him to realized he never spent time with either of them.
Not to mention that on the first timeline his mother is already dead. It just makes the whole thing more hard and more complicated.
It's so wrong.
Why does his life got to to be so hard?!
Suddenly everything went black and he found himself in that particular dream again. A dream that got him questioning about life and death. The black tentacles are around his neck, tightening even more. He choke, desperate for air.
He scratched his neck, clawing it, panic evident his eyes. Hushed sounds in every corner of the white room.
Then he feels something leaking on his fingers, he looked down — screaming. Blood, running down onto his palm. It's not much, but god knows it can't just come nothing. Which means, he did it again, only this time it was covered in blood and not burns.
Then it went white, he's on the floor, in the kitchen. He stood up, rushing to the bathroom on the first floor. It was merely a miracle that this thing happens after he finished preparing for dinner, if it was happening while he was still cooking. Oh he doesn't even want to know what would happen – could happen.
He look into the mirror, blood mushing all over his neck, it's not much but it still a lot. He mentally sighs — this would scar and he would need to do a whole lot explanation on why he was wearing a bandage on his neck like it's some sort of fashion sense. Takemichi groans, he would think about all of this before going to sleep, it would be better to ignore it as long as he can.
He washes his hands, taking a short towel and rinse it before carefully letting it sweeps over the blood on his neck and the one that already got to his chest.
"Sweetie! Are you okay in there?" his mother knock on the door.
He grits his teeth, "Yeah mom! You can go eat first."
"If you says so."
He run his fingers on his neck. Takemichi got out of the bathroom and went to his room. The blood got onto his shirt, it sucks but he can manage, hopefully.
He took out the bandage, he pour out the concealer, putting it on his neck. He wrapped the bandage around his neck.
He take a clean shirt and wear it on. Then he put hoodie on. He could use the cold weather as an excuse.
"Mom." he said, as he took a seat beside her.
"Oh sweetie, this food is so good! Where did you learn it?" she asked, looking up meeting his eyes.
"Just from some video and then practice."
"That's great," a pause "where do you want to go tomorrow?"
He blinked, "Huh?" What did she mean?
She huffed, "To celebrate. Where do you want to go? You know, it's been a long time since we go out together."
Of course, you've been busy with all that business trip stuff. He resist the urge to roll his eyes at that. "Mall? I don't really know. We could go to spa? To relax or something."
"Mhm, good idea! Well, I'll book it for both of us. Wake up early."
It's weird. But nice. It's really nice that he got to spend time with her, she looks happy to do so too.
He shook his head, smiling, he looked around. He knows people think he got a fuck up fashion sense! But that's not the truth, he just very very lazy to actually wear something nice and it's also funny to see their expression when they see him wear something shitty.
Back to the topic at hand, he needs to buy something! So why not buy something great? Wear something nice? Get a tattoo? And a piercing? Have a spa sessions? He was sure his mother would approve - don't ask why.
After all, he gotta look good for the upcoming battle between Toman and Tenjiku, he almost forget about that but hm, who cares? (A lot of people.)
Anyways, he actually need to ask whether his mother would allow it or not, so here he is — waiting for his mother who is apparently watching a accessories with stars in her eyes.
"Uhh, mom?" She blinked, look beside her and step to the side. "Yes dear?"
"Hypothetically speaking, would you or would you not be okay if I somehow got a tattoo?" Takemichi asked.
His mother sent him a strange look before sighing, "Depends on wether or not I could also get one with you."
"Know anywhere to get tattoos?"
"Mhm, nope. But we can do that later! I'm buying clothes and getting my ear pierce out. Also, do you want to have a spa sessions?" He open his phone, getting to google and search for a near popular spa.
"You're kidding right? Of course I want to!"
And then, they rushed to buy stuff before going to a spa.
It's so refreshing! He doesn't remember the last time he spent time with his mother and yet, here we are! Like a duo!
He really hope it can last like this.
(And maybe it can?)
Next we got to know what kind of tattoos they got!!!
I also got my first vaccine today <3 I really hope I didn't get any symptoms! Please wish for me :)
Chapter 12: Flowers on my left shoulder. / Friend or Foe? (More like a Brother.)
The Hanagakis got tattoos!
And what does the smoker duo think of each other?
I don't there's anything to warn since it just them enjoying theirselves.
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
He stares wide eyes in the mirror that the lady did the tattoo let up and did a double take. Takemichi eyes trace the tattoo on his left shoulder (he still have the bandage wrap around his neck — he doesn't want people to ask about the scars).
"Beautiful..." he whispered out.
The lady chuckle, "It is, isn't it? Wonder why you chose gladiolus flower though."
He blinked, "Ah, it means hope. And well, I hope a lot. Too much, sometimes."
"That's cute. Now onto your mother's."
Gladiolus; hope, strength and remembrance.
He hopes too much sometimes. He hopes people will see through and know he's not okay. He hopes people didn't brush him off just because they thought it's one of those day (it's always one of those days). He hopes the next future aren't fucked up. He hopes Hina and others will live a happy life. He hopes this isn't a punishment that God give him because of how he is in the first timeline (he can't help but to think it is). He hopes everything will go fine and no death (he doesn't know if he can handle seeing yet another death). He hopes a lot of things and it's getting ridiculous.
He's not strong, Takemichi knows that - he always know. He's not weak either. People can punch him, kick him, stab him many times but he will still be fighting back (because that's what already happened). Mikey told him that his mentality is strong — is it? (he doesn't know). Many people said love is strength too, so he guess that's it. He loves like no other, the love will go on until the day he dies (when is it? it feels like it's nearing).
To remember that this is a past and there's a future that will be waiting for his return. To remember that he's older and more mature than most of them. To remember that he goes through a painful time and make it out alive (he doesn't know if this time he still will). To remember that this is a second chance, or maybe third, four? five maybe.
(How many times has he change the future?)
While waiting for his mother, he got a ear piercing. It just a simple black studs, but it's a black diamond studs. Expensive? Yeah sure is.
After that, he went to a dessert shop. He pick multiple types of cookies and cakes as takeaway so he could enjoy it at home with his mother while watching movies.
He passed by many shops before returning to where his mother previously at.
He stares at his mother neck, eyes widening in suprise. His mother got a pink carnation flower as a tattoo. It's pretty.
"Why did you choose that?"
His mother look him in the eyes and said in the most soft tone ever, "It means my undying love for you, dear."
And he wanted to cry at that. Because his mother in the first timeline is distant and this one is not. But he holds it, because what's the point?
Hanagaki Azumi is a wonderful woman but not as a mother, but she's trying to make it up (even if she doesn't know it).
To be honest, Hanma is great guy.
He listens and doesn't use the information against him (he works for Kisaki right?). Thought, the guy must be confused but just let it be. (Hearing about how you are like on the future sometimes can be terrifying and cool).
They share stories that close friends usually does, but they are not friends — at least not yet. They both know the other won't share it to someone else (it's a silent promise that they make).
They make a dark jokes sometimes too. Some days they just stay silent, enjoying the peace.
And there's days where one of them would be breaking down and share their problem. Be it be suicidal thoughts, nightmare, home or school problem or even financial problem, it's okay.
So yeah, Takemichi think he's a pretty great guy.
(He also sometimes think of him as an older brother, but no one needs to know that.)
"What's up with the bandage?"
He blinked and look to his side, where Hanma is sitting carelessly while smoking. "Scars."
The guy paused, then look at Takemichi. "Fight or?"
"Nah, were having a black outs. Then this happen." He gestures to his neck.
He nodded, not wanting to pry, he asks, "What about the tattoo?"
"Gladiolus flower. Thought it would look cool."
He hummed, "It does. Piercing?"
"Black diamond studs."
Hanma did a double take, because as far as he knows the teen live alone and both his parents are out of the country. "She's back?"
"Yeah. She got a promotion, gonna work at a company near here."
If Hanma were to describes Hanagaki Takemichi, it would be weird. Not that it's a bad thing, he's weird too.
The first time the other approach him asking if he could buy him cigarettes, he was sure the other are playing tricks with him so goes along with whatever is this. Turn out, he actually do smoke.
Then things happen and they suddenly share things with each other. It's nice, actually. He likes to talk about what ever fucked up things in his mind out loud and the other didn't even scare away from him (because he's the same too).
When the teen talks about the future, it's awesome. After all, knowing you are fucking cool and a dick in many timelines is nice. Of course it confused him, because he would just talk about this one thing and then other thing (must have fucked up his mind).
They are alike in many ways and so, Hanma gives him a nickname. 'Hana-kun', he doesn't actually know why he gave him a nickname? Maybe because the other start to feel more like a younger brother to him? It also make it easy to talk to others about him, because who would take it kindly if they hear their enemies' name? Of course he doesn't share personal things, he just talk about how he adores him, you know like how an older brother would.
Okay fine, he may or may not unofficiallly adopted him as his younger brother.
Yeah, he's gonna let the shrimp know about this.
"You know Hana-kun? I think of you as a sibling for some reason."
Takemichi coughed, putting his cigarettes beside, "Wait for real? I though I was the only one!"
"Eh really? What are you gonna call me now? Shuji-nii-san?" Hanma chuckle at the thought.
"What no! Shu-san sounds cool though."
The older smile fondly at that, "Yeah it does."
So yeah, Takemichi got an older brother out of this 'making sure future is not fucked up' bullshits. He thinks it's great.
If he started telling Hina about 'Shu-san' being his older brother, well so be it.
I don't know how it went from making they share problem to having a siblings bond but I like it anyway. Actually fuck it, I love this. It also would be funny if suddenly Takemichi called him 'nii-san' infront of everyone.
And yeah, the thought of Hanma talking happily about his 'Hana-kun' to annoy everyone important in Tenjiku is so funny. Like imagine one day, he yelled saying "Hana-kun is my brother now! Pissed off everyone!"
Btw, since they are in different gangs, it still stands that they are loyal to their own people so even if they uhh, have a siblings bond, they still will fight in Tenjiku vs Toman battle.
And no, Hanma doesn't tell Kisaki about it. Like previously state, it's a silent promise between them that they don't talk about their problem and personal information to other people.
Next is what happened the passing week on everyone else PoVs.
Chapter 13: We're helping you (wether you like it or not).
Hi!! First, I want to say thank you to aera for asking if I'm okay on twitter. I really appreciate it <3
Second, I just realized there's a lot of plot I forgot like the abduction of the kokoinutake so let's pretend that already happened please. For my mental health sake.
Third, I'm sorry for not posting lately. I went through a depressive episode, and there's school, it opens again which is sucks. But know that I already have plans in mind, so don't think I will stop posting chapter :) I estimate that this fic end like on March next year?? And the extra chapter will be out like on my birthday March 28. Yeah I really hope that is what will happen. There's like 7-9 more chapters?? I'm trying to make the word count higher.
If you guys want to know a pre-chapters, just dm me on twitter. That will hopefully satisfy you guys curiosity on what will the next chapter be.
Anyways enjoy the not full confrontation!! I love making Takemichi in denial.
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Today is not Takemichi's day.
The moment he woke up, he feels like shit. He can't get his arms to move and he's so, so tired. He can't shake the feeling of dread and he wanted to just stay in his bed.
Every single thoughts passed his mind like a wave. It's so quiet, even with his mother cooking downstairs, the sounds of television and the occasional bird chirping.
He hears a knock but he doesn't have any energy to make himself get up and open it. He just wanted the day to pass by.
He thinks he hears his mother asking him if he's okay and he just hum, the knocking stops after.
He sighs loudly when he hears his phone go off, a sign someone is calling him. He reaches for it several times before succeeding in having his phone in his hands. He looks at the caller and smile a little.
He accepted the call.
"Morning Hana-kun ~!"
"Morning Shu-san. Why are you calling me??" he asks, trying to make his body get up again. He can imagine Shu-san is pouting.
"Eh? Can't a brother call his lovely little sibling? Are you okay though? Heard you got abducted."
He narrow his eyes at that, "You mean to say, you already know I would get abducted."
"Aww, we're enemies! I can't tell you stuff like that. It would ruin things."
He rolls his eyes, "Fair enough. Can we still train tonight though?"
"Of course~! Anything for Hana-kun."
They bicker back and forward for awhile.
It's nice, isn't it? Too bad, he forget the feeling of dread.
Hina asked if they could help Takemichi-kun. Of course, she doesn't said anything about Hanma-kun! She knows that people would jump into conclusions!
She's happy though! They said they already planning to investigate what's going on and how to help him! She's glad Takemichi-kun have such a nice friends.
It's been weeks now. They are thinking of a way to confront him. She worries so much, is Takemichi-kun suicidal? There's so much bandages around his body! She knows it could come from fighting but it's been awhile since that happened!
She really wants to help him.
Inupi knows his captain is sometimes out of it. And this past week has been a nerve-wracking. He doesn't like it one bit, so he asked the others to meet.
When they were abducted by the fifth division. He thinks he saw the faraway look in Hanagaki's eyes, the look that means he's dissociate. So no, he's not okay even if the way he talks have so much determination in it.
"Is this about Takemitchy?" He blinked at that, then sheepishly look away. "Yeah."
"Great. More people into the 'Hanagaki, We Are Helping You, No Resistance' Squad."
"You guys are helping him?"
"Yes. Have you seen that guy?? He needs help asap." Peh-yan muttered.
"Looks, we saw him buying a lot of burn cream lately and we really don't want to know what that means." Mitsuya said, worriedly.
Burn cream? Why would he need that? There's a little ways for him to get burn, a fight, when cooking or —.
Oh. He really doesn't want to finish that thought, no matter how much it makes sense.
He smell like nicotine lately. And well, burns? Yeah fuck.
"That's right. Fuck." Draken nodded. Oh he said that out loud.
He doesn't know what he did but almost everyone is staring at him with a serious faces. Did they find out about Shuji? He really hope that's not it. What if they thought he's a traitor? But if they thought he's the traitor then where is Mikey-kun? Shouldn't he be here too?
He blinks, oh shit. That's Draken-kun!
"Uh yes? Did I do something?"
"No, you didn't do anything wrong." The guy said, glancing at Mitsuya who nodded and walked towards him. "You know if you aren't okay, you can talk to us right?"
Oh. He thought his acting are good. "Yeah? What's this about?"
"No, you don't know. Mitsuya."
"Look, we know you are not okay. Let us help you. We're friends, aren't we? Are you going back to your own words?"
He caught off guard at that. What? Why are there doing this? Is this some sick joke? He's okay! He doesn't need help. It's not like he wants to kill himself or something. It's not like he tried to, that was an accident! He wasn't thinking.
He thinks his ears is ringing and their faces are starting to blur. He can't breath— he scratched his neck, it's so suffocating! The black things are wrapping against his necks again and again and again and —
"Takemitchy! Stop. You're gonna injure yourself. Follow my breathing okay?"
He blink and find his hands at someone's chest. What? Follow my breathing?? Oh. He got into a panic attack and black outs again. Fun.
When his breathing is steady. He immediately stand up, the bandage are loses and he panic.
They can't see his neck!
Breathe? Okay, okay.
"See? We're gonna help you, no matter what. Let's go clean your neck, it's bleeding."
Help him? Does he deserves help? He doesn't know. But hell, if he didn't try taking it.
"Look, I will tell you guys okay? But after the fight with Tenjiku."
"You sure you want to fight too?"
"Of course." he grin mischievously, "I can't wait to knock 'em out."
He meets up with Shuji in an alleyway. Wearing a black hoodie and sweatpants. Can't risk having other noticing them, they are enemies after all.
"Last day! Tomorrow is the grand day. Aren't you excited?" Shuji asked with a smile.
"Sure! I can't wait to beat their asses."
"Aww, my baby brother is growing up."
He punch Shu-san's arm. He's so tall, if he's a little short, he would punch his face.
"Let's go spar!"
He takes a deep breath before trying to punch the older guy in the rib but he dodge it with ease.
He bend a little to avoid the incoming kick, he then marches up to him. Punching his stomach, the guy stumble a little before acting like nothing happened and going in for another kick, which is successful as the blonde wince.
He crouched, and swipe the taller guy legs. He laughs as he manages that and going in for a punch.
They went like that for an hour until both slow down and stopped. Laughing and bickering like they've known each other for years, like a real siblings.
It's nice being free.
Oops, this chapter is short, sorry!
Don't worry though! Next chapter will be out next week, it's my favorite chapter so far in this fic, so stay tuned~!
Chapter 14: Maybe I've gotten a little unhinged, so what?
What happened when we have a mentally unstable guy and add with the fact that the said guy now know how to fight?
Feral Takemitchy Vibes, of course.
My favourite chapter so far. He's a little unhinged, but that's fine.
Anyways, please read the end notes. It's important!!
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Today's the ultimate day, where he showcases his newfound skills.
He stared at the mirror, noticing that his hair is a bit longer now. He doesn't pay attention to himself these days, he's gotten worse. But the hair looks good on him, maybe he should tie it? Hmm, that's a good idea.
He went out of his room and knocked on his mother's door. He hears a shuffle from the other side as he waits patiently for the door to open. When it finally did, his mother faced him with a questioning look.
"Do you have anything that I could use to tie my hair? It's getting longer." At that his mother smiled and nodded before gesturing to come inside.
She looks over her accessories before humming, "Your hair is definitely longer than usual, maybe tie it to a low ponytail?"
"Sure, thanks mom."
(He tried not to cry at how fond she looks at him, like he's the best thing that ever happened to her. He tried not to cry at the fact, in other timelines, she never looks at him like that, won't ever look at him like that because she's dead before she could even say she loved him.)
Takemichi smiled as he stepped up onto the battlefield. Then he smirks slightly when he and Shu-san's eyes meet, he's sitting cross-legged on top of one of the containers. The older wink in response.
His mind flashes back to every night where they always meet, they don't necessarily just smoke around and share their problems – they fight too. Well, it's training, so they spar sometimes, Shuji would teach him how to fight dirty too. And now, he has to use all the fighting techniques he learned from his 'brother'.
He would never win against Izana or Mikey or god forbid, Taiju (the last battle doesn't count), but he did win against Hanma, not a lot but he could say he's a pretty good fighter. Not that any of Toman knows, he never shows them yet, so it will be a surprise, an exciting one at that.
Oh, this will be so fun.
(He also may or may not have gotten a bit feral because of Shu-san's fighting behavior. Shuji is not a good influence on him to be honest.)
Time to show them why exactly he's a captain of the first division of Toman and Black Dragons' Leader. Sure, people called him 'Crybaby Hero', but people changed. That means he has changed too, he doesn't cry easily anymore (he actually still is, it just a bit more control ! ), he's the one that throws the first punch nowadays. Well, he guess there's a benefit when people think he's weak.
"People think you don't really know how to fight, use that to your advantage."
He pretends to swing a sloppy punch using his right fist before he kneed the person in the chest many times as he cackles. His friends stare at him, gaping.
He grinned mischievously as he let go of the shithead's shirt, "Looks like the training is paying off, Shu-san." He looked up and flashed a genuine smile towards his 'brother', who's grinning maniacally but proudly in return.
"Use the little things around you."
He hears Chifuyu whispered "The fuck, partner?" and he cheekily smile at him before returning to kicking other person's head. He grabbed another person's hair who was about to hit Hakkai and slammed them down onto the ground. He steps away from them, grabs a handful of sand from the ground and shove it to Tenjiku's rookie member, "Eat shit!"
He laughed, "C'mon, didn't you think I was weak? Now look where those thoughts got you in the end." He huffed mockingly, as he remembers the incident that happened a few weeks ago where they surrounded him and his friends.
"Oh you poor sweet summer child," he said sweetly before slamming the two people's heads together. He let out a satisfied smile at hearing the crack.
People around him look at him as if he was possessed by someone else. Sure he's acting weird lately but this? They are starting to think he might be a sadist. And maybe he is? Meh, blame his pseudo brother for that.
"Punch the throat, they will know you are serious about fighting dirty."
Someone punches him from behind, he turns around and narrows his eyes before punching the guy's throat and the guy cough non-stop.
After that he's fighting everyone and got the occasional kick and stuff. Using his small body he bent down and dodged the incoming attack, then he struck a kick onto someone's head.
His moral is getting fucked up bit by bit but it's fine, there's gonna be a little sacrifices in the making of a great future. (He sounds like Kisaki for a bit there.)
"It's not exactly fighting dirty, you're just fighting smart." his inner Shu-san supplies.
When he saw that Hakkai and Angry were fighting the Haitani Brothers, he could feel shiver running down his spine at the thought of fighting them too. Sure, he's a great fighter but fighting one of the heavenly kings?? Yeah, no thank you. He would get so much bruises, he would love to not fucked up his pretty face this time around okay.
He winces when someone kick him, he looks up to see Shu-san flashing a wicked smile at him, "Hanagaki~!"
He rolled his eyes when he saw who is it and get back up, "Sh— Hanma, fuck you." Can't risk people knowing that they both have a deeper relationship than enemies.
"No thanks~!" Oh god, no that's not what he's implying, ew. Shu-san is handsome and all but they have like a sibling bond, that is so weird. He's also pretty sure there's something more going on behind the scenes than just being partners in crime in his relationship with Kisaki. Like seriously, there's just some unsolved sexual tension between them.
He hates Kisaki with all his life, no offense, that guy literally manipulates him and his friends in the future and in the past. But if this whole thing worked out, he would take the chance on trying to befriend him. (If, not when. He knows better than anyone to hope it would.)
He can deny that Kisaki is really smart, hell he's a genius even. That mastermind plans of his? It would be so awesome if they were on the same side, but alas, fate is a shitty thing.
He goes straight for punch in the jaw but Shuji expect that (why wouldn't he? he's the one who teach him to go for dirty tricks after all), blocking his punch with his fucking long hands (seriously, it's so long?!).
"Fuck genetics. All my homies hate genetics," he blurted out and sheepishly looked around to see if anyone heard that and few people heard it, some snorted, some agreeing with the statement.
He got thrown back, he winces at the impact and glares at Shuji as the guy leans into his right ear, "Sorry, Hana-kun. I will buy you dinner later? Cute ponytail by the way."
He scoffed at that but nodded anyway, kicking the older guy away. His mouth opens in shock when he sees Angry beating up the heavenly kings except for Kakucho. He blinks again to see if he saw that right, and isn't that tears? What? This is so scary. Angry always look grumpy and seeing him crying blankly makes him cringed a little.
Oh god, that looks badass and creepy at the same time.
Kaku-chan comes to the rescue and kick the guy's head off. Izana shows up beside him with a deranged look, staring right at Mikey.
Ah, he doesn't want to do this. Why did he decide to save everyone again? Right, survivor guilt and the savior complex.
And not to mention the depression episodes he get monthly.
Yeah, this was never a good idea.
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(I'm planning on posting a new tokrev fic. It's Takemichi-centric too. Early access chapter would be in my ko-fi too!)