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Pretending To Be Yours

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This mission felt like an absolute fever dream.

Shin rested his hand on his table, resisting the urge to fiddle with the ring that rested on his finger. He couldn’t help but wonder why En had asked him to pretend to be Noi’s husband for a weekend. It was an odd request, however he couldn’t exactly say no to him (or to Noi, who for some reason was excited about the mission itself). It was like a small weight had been added onto his shoulders, a weight that rested upon his finger and reminded him about what task he had been given. He couldn’t let En down, he had no choice but to play along and hide the true feelings he had hidden within himself. This would be a piece of cake, hopefully. Truth be told, he was just eager to get this specific job over and done with so that he could go back to killing whoever got in En’s way and drinking shitty coffee with a book in his arms.

He cleared his throat, trying to hide his face behind a book as he thought over his options.

A sharp knock accompanied by a loud “Senpai! You home?” caught his attention. Clearly whoever it was behind his door was desperate to get inside and make their presence known.

“It’s unlocked.”

Noi opened the door, a grin plastered on her face as she took a seat at the small dining table that rested next to the kitchen. She tossed a few documents onto the table, taking a moment to pause before opening a small can of soda.

“So, it turns out we’ll be going to The Hole.” She started, “Y’know, I hope that asshole is giving us a pay rise after this.”

“Doubt it.” Shin scoffed, sipping from a mug of coffee.

Noi raised an eyebrow as she glanced in his direction, trying to figure out just what was going on in his mind. Once she figured out that she couldn’t exactly read his mind, she went back to explaining the plan.

“So, I was thinking that we could stay at a shitty motel for a few nights. If it rains, well, we can always head home and wait until it stops. We could also probably buy a house too, but I don’t think I’m ready for that responsibility just yet.”

“We’re not buying a house in The Hole.”

“Why not? I can just ask En to give us the money for one.”

Shin sighed, not wanting to explain to Noi why they didn’t need a house. He knew that she’d keep asking questions and acting like his answers went in through one ear and out the other side. He never understood her fascination with these types of things.

“Anyways, En said it would be best if we acted like we were a pair of humans who were just looking for a good place to relax. Which means we can’t use our magic and we’ll have to fit in as best as we can.”

“So, we’re not going to kill anyone?”

“Not this time, Senpai! We’re just keeping an eye out for the lizard man. I know, I’m surprised about that too. I thought En would’ve asked us to kill him. I guess he’s just waiting until he gets the chance to do that himself. Kinda sucks, honestly. I wanted to beat that guy!”

Shin tapped his fingers against the table, humming in thought. He wondered what exactly En was up to (other than sitting around in his garden all day with Kikurage in his arms and mushrooms by his side). He sipped from a small glass of water, taking in as much information as he could.

He decided that this would be the best chance to give Noi a proper tour, he even made a mental note of the restaurants he could show her whilst they were snooping around.


“Yes, Shin?”

“Why exactly are we posing as a newly wed couple?”

Noi paused for a moment, trying to think of an answer that would satisfy him.

“Well, it was Chota’s idea. I just went along with it because he went on about how we practically act like we’re married anyways. Trust me, I’m sure it won’t be that bad.”

“The last time I trusted you with something like this we ended up in the middle of a basement with our arms behind our backs.”

Noi softly chuckled, leaning over before looking Shin in the eyes before pressing her finger against his nose.

“In the end, we still got the job done. That’s all that matters to me! I guess I’ll have to find a new nickname for you, huh? What do wives usually call their husbands?”

Shin couldn’t believe what he was hearing. He pinched his leg, his cheeks turning red as he realized that this wasn’t some sick and twisted dream his brain had conjured up. He thought about shoving her out the door, slamming it shut before running into the shower and absolutely drenching himself with ice cold water. Surely this couldn’t be real, right? He wasn’t ready for this.

He wanted to run as far away as he could. This job wasn’t something he was exactly okay with, especially considering just how beautiful and strong his partner was. Why did it have to be them? Why did they have to be thrown into this situation? Shin tried to think of an answer, but was shocked when nothing came to mind.

“I don’t know, Noi. I’ve never been in a situation like this before. Why don’t we discuss this tomorrow?”

Noi pouted before exhaling sharply. She crossed her arms, nodding as she glanced around the room.

“Wanna go get some dinner? I’m starving!”

“Fine, but you’re paying for it.”