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Sword of Ameinias

Chapter 3: Remedy

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

Any hopes Ben and Chris had that the problem would sort itself out proved to be fruitless, as Tom continued to act secretive and furtive. Chris overheard him talking to himself several times over the next few weeks. One conversation - half of one, anyway - stood out in his mind. Chris had been on his way to visit Tom again in his trailer, hoping to get him to open up, when he heard him talking inside. 

 

“Haven't I done enough? It'll be over soon anyways. Isn't there enough to keep you going?” 

 

A long pause. 

 

“It'll help, even though you don't like it. It always makes a difference. I know it's been lean the last few years. This will help.” 

 

Another pause. 

 

“I don't have any control over this. You know that. All I can do is my best. Act as best I can.” 

 

Tom's breath hitched. “It will be good, I promise. Please don't say that! You'll see, it'll be amazing. This will stir things up again, you know it will. And I can do more conventions, you love that.” 

 

Another long pause. 

 

“You know I am. And… It’s going to be over soon. This is our chance to…” 

 

A pause.

 

“You knew this wouldn’t last forever. All I can do is…” Tom gasped, a sharp pained noise. “No… No, don't say that. Please. You promised.” 

 

Chris scratched his chin. That was the second time he’d heard Tom say “you promised”. 

 

“Please, don’t do anything hasty. You don’t need anyone else.” 

 

Chris’s eyebrows went up.

 

“Of course… I’m sorry. But it will be enough for a while. I’m sure it will.” 

 

Another pause. “You don’t have to go, please don’t. The conventions are always the best for you anyway, and I can do that forever. Even after…” Another gasp, this one more of pleasure than pain. “Oh yes, of course I can. However much you want.” 

 

There was silence after that and Chris wandered away, seriously wondering what the fuck was even happening. 

 

That conversation seemed to be a turning point. Tom seemed less tired, more enthusiastic after that. More relaxed, though Chris still heard him talk to himself periodically, but it was less… panicked. 

 

Finally given a free evening, and a day off the following day, the cast and crew all went out clubbing together. They hadn’t done anything like that since filming Avengers and Chris hadn’t thought that they’d do that now, since the main instigators of the previous outings had been Evans and Scarlett, neither of whom were on this project. It wasn’t impossible that they might go out during the filming of the next two films, but from what Chris knew from reading those scripts, it would be… out of tone. 

 

In any case, the group of them headed to the closest nightclub, which had a reputation for good music, strong drinks, and half-decent food. Chris hoped that Tom would let his guard down after he’d gotten a few drinks in him. Chris watched his fellow actor like a hawk, nursing his beer rather than downing it as quickly as he could. 

 

Tom did seem to relax. He’d always been a fantastic dancer, and certainly wouldn’t lack for partners. One tall, curvaceous woman in particular kept taking up Tom’s attention. At first glance, Chris thought it might be Jamie Alexander, but he knew the American actress wasn’t in the country. Sif wasn’t going to be in Ragnarok due to a scheduling conflict with Jamie's TV show, so it couldn’t be her. 

 

But when the raven-haired woman with pale eyes and a killer smile walked up to Tom, the Brit did a double take, then smiled back at her. Like he knew her, but hadn’t been expecting her. She was almost as tall as Tom, at least in heels, which was something. Chris watched them dance for a long while. Maybe this was Tom’s most recent girlfriend? She wasn’t his usual type, but the way they danced... If they weren’t lovers already, they would be by the end of the night. 

 

Part of Chris wanted to heave a sigh of relief that his friend had found a remedy for his pensiveness, but something niggled at the edge of his mind. He watched as Tom and the unknown woman left the bar together after a few dances. This did knock a hole in the “Tom has a secret boyfriend” theory, though not a fatal one. Plenty of actors had “agreements” with their significant others, though if Tom’s secret boyfriend was here, there would be a threesome waiting back at the trailers. 

 

Chris shook his head. No, none of that made sense. He tried to put it all out of his mind, and drank the rest of his beer. 

 

o0o



The next morning, Tom did seem to be in better spirits, though Chris was sad to see it didn’t last for more than their single day off. They spent much of the next week filming the scenes where Thor and Loki were escaping from Sakaar, and Tom’s mood seemed to dip with every take. His energy got lower and lower, his smiles less frequent, his time in the makeup chair longer and longer. 

 

He was a wreck. 

 

Chris decided that something had to be done. 

 

One evening after filming was over, the Australian went to Tom’s trailer again. He hesitated, just for a moment, then knocked on the door. “Tom, you in there mate?” 

 

A few moments passed. “Chris?” 

 

“Yeah. You got a mo?” 

 

“I… of course. Just a moment.” 

 

Chris heard some indistinct rustling, then the door opened. Tom looked awful, pale and drawn, even without the makeup and wig. 

 

“Come in.” Tom stood to the side to let Chris into his trailer. “Sorry about the mess.” 

 

Chris wouldn’t have called the trailer a mess but it was less orderly than he would have expected given Tom’s usual fastidiousness. “No worries. Mine’s ten times worse. Can I sit?” He gestured to the lone chair. 

 

“Please.” Tom gestured to the chair and sat on the bed. “What’s on your mind?” 

 

Chris rubbed his hands together. “I’m worried about you. Ben is too. You… you’re falling apart.” 

 

Tom looked away, visibly swallowing. “I… I’m fine.” 

 

Chris shook his head. “No way, mate. It’s obvious something’s wrong.” 

 

Tom raised a sad eyebrow. “Is it?” 

 

Chris nodded. “You’re a terrible liar. What’s going on?” 

 

Emotions flicked over Tom’s face too quickly for Chris to follow them. “You… you’re going to think I’m crazy.” 

 

“Try me.” 

 

Tom sighed and leaned forward, mirroring Chris’s stance. “Okay. Fine. I… God, this is difficult. I have…” He rubbed his hands over his face, then looked up to meet Chris’s gaze. “Loki, the God, not the character, is real. As far as I can tell, he is the Norse God. He claimed me as his… his priest or avatar or something. Essentially he uses me to channel power to him.” 

 

Chris frowned. “You’re right. That’s mental.” 

 

“I did tell you.” 

 

Chris thought about this for a long moment. His friend might be losing his marbles, but he was actually talking for once. It would be smart to keep the conversation going to find out as much as he could, just to see if it might make any sense. “When did this happen?” 

 

Tom shrugged. “That depends on who you ask. I first noticed it when I wore the hair and makeup the first time. When we were filming Thor. He claims that he’s always been there, guiding my path. That he created me to be him.”  

 

“But… Never mind. What does that have to do with what’s happening now?” 

 

“He…” Tom dropped his head into hands. “He’s threatening to leave me. He did it before, and... oh God. It was like I was dead for six months. It was torture. He swore that he’d never do it again, but with Loki dying in the films…” Tom wiped his eyes. “He says he’ll find someone else, since I won’t be useful anymore.” 

 

Chris shook his head. “What an arsehole.” 

 

Tom laughed, bitter and broken. “Does that really come as a surprise?” 

 

“I s’pose not.” 

 

“He hates this film, though he acknowledges that it will probably be good for a while. It’s just… after that.” 

 

Chris nodded. That actually seemed pretty reasonable. “Explain to me how this works. You feed him energy?” 

 

“Yes, though he can get it other ways. Have you ever read American Gods by Neil Gaiman?” 

 

Chris shook his head. “Never did.” 

 

“Damn, that would have been useful.” Tom sat up a little straighter. “Gods feed on worship. It keeps them in existence. If a god is forgotten, they die. Conversely, gaining more worship means they become more powerful.” 

 

“But, wait, nobody is worshiping the Loki in the films, are they?” 

 

Tom raised an eyebrow. “Worship can come in many forms. Focused attention, passion, idolization, all worship. Most people aren’t actually praying to him, but they absolutely glorify his name.” 

 

“So where do you come in?” 

 

“I’m his face. That worship is caused by me, and flows through me. At least sometimes.” 

 

“But somebody else could do that same job?” 

 

Tom collapsed in on himself, head hanging. “Yes.” 

 

Chris thought for a moment, going over those odd moments he and Ben overheard. “There’s more to this, isn’t there? More to your… relationship with him?” 

 

Tom blushed scarlet. “Yes.” 

 

“No judgement, mate. It just seems like he’s acting like an abusive cu… arsehole to you.” 

 

Tom shrugged, looking at the floor. “He’s a God, I’m his priest. He can do whatever he likes to me. I don’t have much of a choice.” 

 

Chris realized he actually believed this insane story. “What… What if Loki didn’t die? Or, if he came back?” 

 

“How?” 

 

“Dunno. I’m sure you could figure something out.” 

 

“I’ve tried. Maybe something with the time travel elements? I don’t know.” Tom threw his hands up. “Besides, I don’t think Kevin will be as willing to believe me as you are.” 

 

“If it’s a good enough story, he’d be willing to hear it. Not the priesthood part,” Chris waved a hand. “Just whatever you come up with. They’ve been talking about expanding into other media, so maybe something there?” 

 

“I’ll think about it.” Tom was silent for a long moment, then offered Chris a crooked smile. “Thanks for listening. It’s not easy to deal with something that everyone thinks is impossible.” 

 

“You really don’t have anyone to talk to about this, do you?” 

 

Tom shook his head, then tilted it to the side. “The only other person I’ve talked to about it was just as impossible as this seems, though I suppose I could try getting in touch with him again.” 

 

Chris frowned. “Who?” 

 

Tom scoffed a small laugh. “Me.” 

 

Notes:

Remedy is by Little Boots.

Several years ago, when someone asked him who should play Lady Loki, Tom said that it should be Jamie Alexander, since Loki steals Sif's body in the comics. I thought about changing it so she looks like Sylvie, but decided that didn't fit as well with the metaphysics.