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2021-08-05
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We could bear witness to the rise and the fall

Summary:

“Why did you want to talk to me?”

“Aren't I allowed to talk to my older brother?”

“You lost that right long ago.” Sirius said in an angry tone. He didn’t bother to hide it, what he said was true. Regulus had lost that right, he shouldn’t have to sugar coat it just because he was his brother.

“Ah, well, I think that I have information that could help you in your fight against the Dark Lord."
 

Or

 

Regulus goes to Sirius to tell him about the hourcrux's that Voldemort made. This leads to the two brothers trying to destroy him, all while confronting the tramua that living with their family gave them. And inadvertently giving their generation a happy ending.

Notes:

"Me? posting another Black Brothers bonding fic?"
It's more likely then you think.

I'm autistic so Reggie has a lot of my symptoms.

Trigger Warnings: Child abuse emotional and physical, panic attack/meltdowns, and parent child s*xual abuse.

 

Anyway I hope you like this story.

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Chapter 1: What's your purpose? Why were you put on Earth?

Chapter Text

Sirius picked at his side salad with his fork. He was definitely hungry but he couldn’t really bring himself to eat anything. His stomach felt way too bad for him too. He didn’t feel sick, he was just nervous. But he still didn’t feel like eating. But he needed this lunch to go well.

His seventeen year old brother, Regulus, was sitting across from him.

One hour ago Regulus had shown up at the door to his apartment. He had not said what was going on and why he was here, hell he still hadn’t said why he had shown up, all he had said was that he needed to talk to Sirius.

Now he had been a bit wary about talking to his brother. He didn’t really trust Regulus. They hadn’t had a full conversation since his sixth year, Regulus’s third, and there had been rumors that Regulus had gotten the Dark Mark.

Sirius knew that he was on the Death Eaters hit list. He was a member of the Order, plus he was a runaway member of the Black family. He definitely had a target on his back.

It would be just like Voldemort to make someone kill their siblings to prove their loyalty to him and the Death Eaters.

He didn’t really feel like Regulus had it in him to kill him. But he didn’t really know him very well not anymore.

They had been close when they were younger. He had been very protective of his younger brother, they had done almost everything together. But as the years went on they had grown apart. Sirius could not really pinpoint a time that had made them stop being close; it had been more of a gradual thing. Sirius running away had been the final blow though.

Regulus had said that they could talk at a local muggle caffie. This had made him trust his younger brother a bit more. He knew that Regulus was not going to kill him in a room full of people. That would be a very stupid thing to do, Regulus was a lot of things but he wasn’t stupid.

So Sirius had agreed to talk to his younger brother.

They had been together in an awkward silence from that time to now. And he was getting tired of it, he wanted to know what Regulus had to say, dam’nt. But he also felt that his brother should be the one to talk first. He was the whole reason that this was happening after all. He should be the one to say the first word.

This battle went on in his mind as he continued to eat his salad. Eventually the bored and curious side won and he asked Regulus-

“Why did you want to talk to me?”

“Aren't I allowed to talk to my older brother?”

“You lost that right long ago.” Sirius said in an angry tone. He didn’t bother to hide it, what he said was true. Regulus had lost that right, he shouldn’t have to sugar coat it just because he was his brother.

“Ah, well, I think that I have information that could help you in your fight against the Dark Lord.”

“What? Are you joking!?” he said in shock.

“No. Why would I joke about that?” Regulus asked, confused.

No, Regulus, I wasn’t seriously asking, I was just surprised.”

“Oh, ok.”

Sirius could sense that they were getting off topic. He wondered if Regulus was purposely steering the conversation away from the bomb that he had dropped to torture him. But Sirius also remembered that his younger brother had always had a problem with sarcasm and some figures of speech.

“What kind of information do you have?”

“I don’t know if I can tell you here.”

“Why not? You agreed to come here.”

“Yes I did. But you wouldn’t have agreed to talk to me if I hadn’t.”

“Because your a fucking death eater!”

“I need to give you this information Sirius.”

“Then give it to me!”

“I can’t give it to you here.”

“Why not?!”

“Because we're in public, at a muggle cafie no less. Someone could overhear.”

“No Death Eater is going to be at a muggle restaurant.” Sirius said getting pissed at his younger brother. Why couldn’t Regulus just tell him what he knew? Was this a trap? Or was Regulus just fucking with him?

“They could be though. Or someone that is under the imperius curse. This information can’t get out.” Regulus said calmly, but with an air of seriousness.

Sirius rolled his eyes. But he realized that he probably wasn’t going to win this battle. Both he and Regulus could be very stubborn, but he at least knew when to pick his battles. At least he did now, kind of. Plus if Regulus was telling the truth this could be very important to the Order and the war effort.

“Ok, well how do you plan to give me this information if you can’t tell me here? Because I won't go anywhere with you if I’m not a hundred percent sure you're telling the truth. And right now, I’m not.”

“I don’t know. How can I make you trust me?” Regulus asked.

“Go back in time six years.”

“I can’t do that Sirius. That’s illegal.”

“I was being sarcastic.”

“Oh. Well that doesn’t answer my question.”

“Because I don’t know what you could do to make me trust you, Regulus. Short of telling me what information you have and them giving me proof that the information is legitimate.”

“I can’t do that though.”

Sirius sighed. They were going back to this argument, or maybe they never actually left it. He really wanted to trust Regulus, but he couldn't because he had chosen their family over him. He had become a death eater. Or at least he had allegedly become a death eater, if he was proven to be one he would be in Azkaban right now. Not talking to Sirius.

“Fine, I will talk to you somewhere else. But you have to let me bring someone.”

“Who do you want to bring?”

“I don’t know yet. But that’s the only way that I will agree to this. If not you're half to tell me here, and if you don’t do that I will tell the ministry that you admitted to being a death eater.”

“But I didn’t admit to being a death eater.”

“You said that you had information on Voldemort. That’s all the evidence the Ministry needs these days.”

Sirius really didn’t want to turn his baby brother in, but if he had to he would. It would mean one less death eater on the street. It would most likely lead to other death eaters being caught. And Regulus would probably strike a deal and give up information in exchange for a lighter sentence. Regulus had chosen his side and made his bed, he should have to lie in it.

“Fine, you can bring someone. Where do you want to meet?”

“I don’t know.”

“You're asking me to meet you somewhere, but you don’t know where.”

“My thought process hadn’t gotten that far!.” Sirius said, his voice getting higher-

“Where do you want to meet?”

Regulus thought for a few seconds and said

“My bedroom.”

“Your bedroom? Are you fucking insane Regulus? If we are likely to be overheard here we are guaranteed to be heard at that house!”

“We are not going to be overheard there. It is only me and Kreacher at the house. Mother and Father are currently on vacation, they are not going to be home for two more months.”

“How long have they been on vacation?”

“One month.”

“They missed your Hogwarts graduation?” Sirius said, surprised. His parents had not been at his graduation but that had made since. He had been disowned at that point so he hadn’t expected them to show up. But Regulus was their golden boy, he thought that they would have wanted to see their heir graduate Hogwarts.

“Yes. It’s an important vacation.”

“What are they doing?”

“They're in France meeting with our relatives.”

“Ah, going to find you a bride, Reggie.”

“No, they are just visiting them.”

Sirius rolled his eyes.

“When do you want to meet up?”

“Tomorrow, we need to talk soon.”

“Alright.”

Sirius got up and said

“You’ll get the bill right.”

“Sure. I just have one question.”

“What?”

Regulus looked down at the jeans that he wearing and said

“How do you wear these every day? They make me feel like there is electricity going down my legs.”

Sirius shocked his head and said

“It doesn’t feel like that for me Reggie.”

“Oh, so it’s one of those things.”

“Yep, I guess.”

Regulus had always had a problem with certain clothing items. Their parents had thought that he was making it up, but Sirius knew better. Regulus really felt that way, they just didn’t know why. He knew that his brother wasn’t allergic to the fabric, like Sirius originally thought he was but he didn’t know why Regulus felt that way. Sirius shook his head to get him out of his thoughts.

“Well, I’ll see you tomorrow Reggie.”


 

Sirius knocked on the door to the Potter’s house. He had decided to ask Remus, but he wasn't there when Sirius had gotten to his apartment. So he aperated to the James and Lily’s house.

Lily and James had gotten married last year. It was such a beautiful wedding, Sirius had been Jame’s best man and Remus and Peter had been the other groomsmen. Alice and Mary had been Lily’s bridesmaid and Marleen was her bridesmaid. It had been a small wedding, with only the Order and Lily and James’s parents invited. But that had honestly made it better.

Shortly after they had gotten married they had bought a house and moved out of their apartment. It was a very nice house, perfect for starting a family which he knew that they were trying to do.

Thankfully James opened the door. Sirius loved Lily like a sister, but she wouldn’t really understand the Regulus situation. He wasn’t even sure if she knew he had a younger brother. Regulus wasn’t really popular or well known at Hogwarts, he really blended into the background. And Sirius had stopped talking to Regulus long before she had started hanging out with the marauders.

“Hey Pads, what do you want mate?”

“Can we talk inside?”

“Yeah, of course, is everything ok?” James asked worriedly.

“Everything is fine. I just really need to ask you something. Inside.”

“Alright, well come on in.”

They both walked into the house and made their way to the living room. They both sat down on the couch.

“What do you need to ask me?”

“I need you to meet Regulus with me. He said that he has information that could help us take Voldemort down.”

“And you believe him?”

“No, but I know that if it is a trap and he is lying we can take him down. We have beat Voldemort before, we can defeat my baby brother.”

James had a conflicted look on his face and Sirius understood why. He had barely interacted with Regulus, but he had heard Sirius rant about him a hundred times.

“Alright. But I’m taking my wand with me.”

“Never said that you couldn’t.” he said smirking.


 

Regulus sat down on his bed waiting for his brother and whatever person he decided to bring with him. He assumed that it would be James Potter, they were always joined at the hip. He and his brother had never talked about a time to meet, which he supposed in hindsight was an oversight.

He had gotten out all of his notes about horcruxes and what he knew. There were five notebooks on his bed, all of them complete.

He unpinned the newspaper clippings that were over his bed. They were all about the dark lord, he had underlined parts that gave evidence to his theory. None of it was damining on his own, but put together he thought it was pretty convincing.

He hoped that Siri would too.

At first Regulus had planned to do this all alone, and still planned on going to the cave alone, but he realized that someone else needed to know about this. When he was dead no one would know about the horcruxes. And what if he had made more, then it wouldn’t matter if Kreacher destroyed this one. There would still be more to get rid of.

More to destroy.

So he decided to talk to Siri. He hadn’t been entirely sure that his older brother would even want to talk to him. If he turned him away he had planned on asking Kreacher to tell him everything about the horcrux and the possibility that Voldemort had more than one.

But thankfully Siri had been willing to talk to him so he didn’t have to ask Kreacher to do that.

He waited on his bed for what felt like hours, but he didn’t dare leave his bedroom because he was scared that if he did Siri would think that this was a trap and he would never give him a chance again.

Regulus had changed the wards that surrounded the house to let Sirius in. It’s not like their parents would notice, at least he hoped they wouldn’t notice. He hated disappointing them and he knew that if they found out that he had let Siri back in the house they would be very disappointed in him. But he also knew that this was important.

What the dark lord was doing was wrong and he had to be stopped. And he had information that would stop him.

He heard the floor outside of his bedroom door creak.

“Sirius is that you?”

His brother opened the door to revile him and James Potter.

“Yep.”

“Tell us what you know Regulus.” James said.

“I think that the Dark Lord has been making hourcruxs.”

“What’s a hourcrux?” Sirius and James said in unison.

“It’s when you preform a dark ritual we’re you split your soul into different parts.”

“Well how does that affect us?”

“It means that he can’t be killed. Not until you destroy the hourcruxs.”

Sirius and James have each other horrified looks.

“And you think he’s made these.” Sirius asked.

“Yes.”

“Why?”

So Regulus explained that Kreacher had been offered to the Dark Lord. And he told them everything that he said when he returned.

“How do you know that the elf isn’t lying?” James Potter said.

Regulus opened his mouth to defend Kreacher but to his surprise Sirius talked first

“Kreacher won’t lie to Regulus. I hate the damn thing but he loves Regulus more then some members of our family.”

“Don’t call him an it.”

“Well what are we going to do?”

“You two can take my notes to the Order. I’ll go to the Island with Kreacher and he can bring back the locket for you to destroy.”

“Is he also going to bring you back?” Sirius asked him.

“No.”

“Well then how are you going to get back?” Sirius asked confused.

“I probably won’t get back.”

“What do you mean you won’t get back?!” He asked confused.

“I will most likely not get back.”

“So you’re going to die?”

“Probably.”

“Why are you not making a bigger deal about this, your going on a suicide mission.”

“Why do you care so much Sirius?”

“Why do I care? Why do I care! You're going to get yourself killed Regulus, why wouldn’t I care?”

“It’s the only way.”

“You could have Kreacher bring you back as well.”

“The Dark Lord will be suspicious of our family.”

“I don't see how you dying will solve that problem.”

James waved his hands in an attempt to get the two brothers to stop arguing.

“Guys, guys, stop fighting! Regulus, if you die it will make everything so much harder for us.”

“That’s what my notes are for.”

“Regulus, no one can read your handwriting but you.” Sirius said.

It did not make any sense to Regulus. In every version of his plan he would always end up dead, and he definitely hadn’t expected Sirius to fight him on it. But James and his brother were right, he was the only one who really understood his notes. And it would be easier to explain it to them face to face.

“Ok, fine. I’ll let Kreacher bring me back.”


 

The cave was musty. Regulus could feel the saltwater in the air and he could hear the water crashing against the walls and dripping from the ceiling. When he looked over the edge of the tiny boat that he and Kreacher shared he saw his reflection in the dark murky water. It wasn’t a perfection reflection though, it twisted his feachers into something odd and strange. It was something that you would see in a muggle fun house.

When he looked closer at the water, past his reflection, he saw the bodies that filled up the cavern of the lake. There were thousands of them, although Regulus could only see around ten. They were all in various stages of decomposition, the oldest one had barely any skins that were on its bones. He knew that it wouldn’t decompose any more though, that was part of the curse of infer.

Regulus forced himself to look away from the bodies that littered the lake. It wouldn’t do him any good to stare at them, he needed to think about the mission. Not focus on everything that could go wrong.

Before he had left for the cave, he had gone over everything with Kreacher again. He didn’t want to make the elf relive his toutre but he needed to know everything that could happen.

The cave was also dark. Regulus had never liked the dark, he had tried to get rid of this fear by sitting in a dark room for hours but nothing worked. As he felt his skin seize up and his stomach started to get that sinking feeling he heard his mothers voice in head say “Blacks don’t get scared.” he drew a deep breath and tried to focus on anything other than his fears.

Eventually they got to the island in the middle of the lake,he and Kreacher both got out of the boat. Regulus felt like his legs were shaking but he knew that they weren’t.

He slowly walked over to the basin.

Regulus got down on his knees and prepared to drink it. As his lips touched the top of he stopped.

“Kreacher, you need to promise that whatever I say you won't stop me from finishing the potion alright.”

The house elf nodded and Regulus turned back around, took a deep breath, and took a sip of the potion.

Regulus was eight years old and Sirius was leaving for Hogwarts. He was standing on the platform and he couldn’t focus on anything but all of the noises. Everyone was talking, their voices mixed together into a horrible combination of conversations. The train bell was rigging and it felt like it was drilling into his skull. Children were running around playing with their friends screaming in excitement. All of these sounds forced their way into Regulus’s and he felt like his head was going to explode. He put his hands over his ears, digging the end of them into his ears trying to keep them close, it hurt but he didn’t care. He needed to stop hearing the noise.

He moved down to his knees and rocked back and forth trying desperately to calm himself down. They needed to stop talking. Why wouldn’t they stop talking?

“Stop talking. Please be quiet!” he cried, but no one listened to him. 

He felt tears run down his face. He felt ashamed and embarrassed he could hear his Mothers voice tell him that “Blacks don’t cry.” But he couldn’t stop. They could stop though, why couldn’t they just be quiet?

 

Regulus was nine years old and Sirius hadn’t written to him at all this year. He missed his brother.

 

Regulus Black is twelve years old, almost thirteen, and his older brother runs away from their home. He knew that this was a long time coming, but it still hurt him deeply. He knew that Sirius and their parents did not get along, but his brother had to know that they were just doing what's best for them. If they messed up and embarrassed the family they deserved whatever punishment they got. Whenever Regulus had one of his crying fits at parties and places like that, he deserved to be punished.

He didn’t know why he acted like that though. Regulus always tried to calm down when he started to feel overwhelmed, but nothing worked.

Regulus supposed it made sense that Sirius would run away to the Potters though. Siri always chose James over him.

 

Regulus is seventeen and his father dies. His mother covers it up, she tells everyone that they are both in France but this is a lie. His father is dead and his mother is in France with her relatives trying to find a cover story. 

 

Regulus Black is seventeen and his father just died in front of him. He is the man of the house now, his Mother tells him as her arms snake around his chest he knows what she is going to do and he feels like he wants to join his father. 

 

His throat is burning and he needs water.

That is all he knows.

He needs water.

“Master Regulus, Master Regulus, we have the locket we can leave.”

“Water, I need water.”

“You can get water at the blood traitors house.”

Kreacher grabs him and they leave the cave. But Regulus doesn't really notice, all he can think about is the burning in his throat.


 

Sirius flips through his younger brother's notes. He and James are sitting in the Potter’s kitchen pouring over the many notes that Regulus has made about horcruxes.

“Jesus christ, mate, your brother is insanely thorough when it comes to notes.”

“Yeah, if Regulus is one thing it definitely isn’t lackluster.”

“When is Lily coming home?”

“Around 6:30.”

“Does she know about Regulus, we won't be done by then.”

“Yeah, I told her. I only gave her a brief rundown though, you and Regulus will have to give her a more in depth explanation.”

“I don’t understand it any more than you do, I don't see how I can explain it any better.”

“Fine, Regulus can explain it then. I just thought that she would trust you more than your brother.”

Sirius nodded and the two friends went back to looking at the notes.

He shivered and pulled his jacket harder around his arms, waste and chest.

The Potter’s kitchen was small, but it looked a lot larger than it actually was. The walls were painted a mustard yellow color. The floor was in pale tiles, they had wood cabinets and a refrigerator. They didn’t have a dishwater, but they didn’t need one, they had magic after all. There was a medium sized photo that sat at the edge of the room near the phone that hung on the wall.

You could see the living room from the kitchen, it was small but nice looking. It had a red carpet instead of wood on the floor, the walls were the same color as the kitchen. There was a huge stone fireplace in the center of the room and right across from that was a big red couch which matched the two chairs that sat in front of the window.

Sirius rubbed his thumb against the edges of the notebook.

Regulus always had messy handwriting. It was one of the few things that his Mother praised him above Regulus for. The only times that anyone else could read what his younger brother wrote was after Regulus deeply concentrated on what he was writing, and it took him around three times longer then it normally would. At least that what it had been like when they were younger and they both had tutoring. Sirius assumed that his brother had improved, but apparently not.

As the minutes ticked on Sirius and James tried their very best to discern what Regulus had written in his many notebooks.

Then they heard a loud crack coming from the living room.

James and Sirius both grabbed their wands from where they sat on the table.

“Regulus?” Sirius called out hesitantly. 

“Master Regulus needs help!” Kreacher screamed.

Sirius and James ran towards the living room. When they got there they saw him lying down on the carpet. He appeared to be passed out but Sirius couldn’t be sure. Kreacher was standing over him with a worried look on his wrinkled face.

“What happened to him, is he ok?”

“Young master needs water.” Kreacher said urgently.

Sirius ran back to the kitchen and threw open the cabinet doors. He grabbed the glass that was the closest to the front of it, he hurried to the sink and turned it on. He filled it up to the point that it overflowed. He quickly shut it off and he ran back to the living room.

He got down on his knees and moved over his younger brother. He tried to shake Regulus awake but all his brother did was grumble, he was saying something but Sirius could not understand what he was saying.

“Regulus, Regulus, you need to open your mouth.”

“No, no. Please stop.”

“Regulus, Kreacher says you need to drink water.”

“NO,NO! Please stop touching me!”

Sirius lowered his voice and removed his hands from his brothers shoulders and arms. 

“Reggie, you need to drink this water, please.”

Regulus finally opened his mouth and Sirius poured the water down his brother's throat.


 

Sirius picked Regulus and put him on the couch. He was surprised at how light his brother was. He thought back and realized how Regulus had only been wearing baggy clothes after they started talking to each other again.

“What do we do now?” James asked Sirius.

“I don’t know, wait for him to wake up.”

“Ok.”

Sirius turned to look at James and asked him-

“Do you think he will be ok?”

“I don’t know Sirius. I’m not a healer.”

Sirius turned around to look at the clock.

“It’s almost time for Lily to be home. Isn’t she good at healing potions?”

“Yeah.”

“Do you think she will help?”

“Probably.”