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Andy's Misadventures

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I write this down in this red book in case you, my future self would fall into a monster's brainwashing. I'm going into the lion's den, and one may never know, what kind of magic they possess. Andrew Sinclaire, if you lost your purpose, read this!

The more power you have, the more enemies pop up. Both humans and monsters, one after another. It’s like they have a breeding ground, yet these people were nowhere to be found back then. They want to shake your confidence in yourself by asking about your morality, your goal, your passion. They are fools! Simple as that. They fail to see, that they are blinded by jealousy. Some of them take this to the extreme, and they’ll do everything to strip you down from all that hard-earned work or stop you.

Maybe they are afraid? They are afraid of themselves or something else? Who knows…

Power feels way too good to give up. Once you taste it you can never let it go. You always want more, you can’t be satisfied until you reach the top. Seeing other's failure doesn’t discourage you, in fact, it acts like a boost, their misfortune tastes like an incredibly tasty meal. This is what plagues every person who is a Tower.

About the Tower: long ago there was an old witch, who I can still clearly remember. As a kid, I was eager to hear about my fortune, and when she talked to me I saw pity in her eyes. Not because I was not the healthiest kid, but rather because I belonged to the worst personality within her cards: the Tower.
Chaos, uncertainty, destruction, accidents, confusion, danger, and the list and so on. A lot of negative stuff, yet it doesn’t discourage me. In fact, I learned to use them to my advantage. This is why I never lost. Ever, and I want to continue this trend.
As long as I have my tools, my weapons I’m not going to stop chasing power until my flesh and bone is pummeled and grounded to dust.

Or at least that’s the idea, but then there is this damned woman... who is not even a human, but a succubus-type monster. She has the traits of the succubi, yet her appearance is different. She’s a species that is not only more powerful but even has more magic affinity. A blue-skinned monster with a pair of horns a tail, wings, and a very voluptuous body. While her kind is not the most physically developed by default, she is a little bit different. In fact, she enjoys strength a lot more than her kind. Her body is more athletic and muscular than the average joe’s, also her height is not normal either, in fact, she’s quite tall. Especially when she’s smug about it.
Looking at me with those red eyes… it's mesmerizing. In most cases, she’s lighthearted, cheerful, teasing, and annoying. Very annoying, but she knows when to get serious. When she’s like that she, can be really frightening. Just like the way she was many years ago. She was a really effective officer of the demon army, spreading corruption back and forth, which she enjoyed. Yeah, she has some sadistic side too, which she doesn’t embrace often, but when she does... You wouldn’t want to be in that guy’s place.

Speaking of which, I happen to be that guy, simply because I don’t care. Hah! Speaking of the devil, or rather demon, she's also watching me while I write this down. Freshly out from the shower, due to her training, which she never skips. Her muscles are bulging and-

Ah fuck, I rather cross the last sentence… The damned woman already messing up my attention. I mean… it's really, REALLY hard not to notice this imposing figure. The first thing I noticed about her is that she was like a head taller than me. Her sharp horns make her even taller. On top of that, she even wears high heels…
About her horns... they don't have that curvaceousness I often see on succubi horns for example. Nah, she has these sharp angles. Heh, I could put even an angle meter next to them. After the angle ends, both horns point upwards, while the top is red. Uh, it's almost like she stabbed someone with them… It certainly dictates that kind of “look at me, I'm the one who dictates here” type of look, but the same could be said about her face too. Certainly womanly, there is no trace of girly innocence here, especially when I look into her eyes… Chiefgoddamn. I can't delete them from my memory. Crimson eyes with black sclera… you know immediately this thing is probably trouble. Her nose… her cheeks, but her lips… wow, if I didn't have such fantastic control over my libido, thanks to my training and herbs… those plump red lips would capture me, not to mention they tend to leave marks too on me… How many times did I have to wash them off? Then comes the knife-like ears… it's like an elf's, but it's obviously blue since the whole woman is blue. Even her black hair is charming. It's like… it calls you, to touch it! I have never seen anyone in my village back then have such ridiculously well groomed-looking hair.
Then comes the interesting part… yeah the big boulders. I noticed something… Her nipples grow out when I'm talking to her, what the fuck that means I dunno... I'm getting too virgin for this shit… I don't even know what cup size are those! They are now being held together by a towel, but usually, she has that what I call 'standard demon attire', which you might guess looks ridiculously open. It's like its only purpose is to make her even more erotic. Her arms and legs… well definitely bigger than mine. This demon even has her tail ripped! It's pretty cute how it ends with a heart shape. I saw her using it lifting certain things up, maybe it can even lift up a person? Y-yeah scratch that idea… Damn even her stomach has visible abs, I mean it's not an easy feat to miss. Also what is with those hips? So damn wide… and those *gulp* thighs… the muscles are so easy to see… Even on her back… which also has those big ass wings...

O-okay I should really stop thinking about this stuff.

“Hey Dusty, pass the bottle.”

Now, this… Today for some reason she started to call me Dusty, due to my duster coat. She does it to piss me off, smug ass bitch.

“There you go, woman!”

I reached out for the bottle and threw it at her, which she easily caught.

“Aren’t you rude? Calling me ‘woman’ all the time, and throwing things at me… Andy, Andy… “ She shakes her head. “You can’t treat beautiful girls, like me this way you know!” She made a dramatic pose, and pushed her lips, then she winked at me.

“Your muscles say otherwise.”

“Wow, Andy-dandy is back at again...” Damnit stop looking I can't concentrate...

“The red book again?”


I closed it immediately. What the fuck did she just call me again?

“Yeah, Andy-dandy is going to give you lead poisoning right into your humongous chest, if you don't stop calling him like that!”

“Bleh, you are no fun. This is why all women find you repulsive, not your face.”

She's reaching out to touch my face… again, but I quickly deflect it.

“This comes from a succubus who fell into a blueberry bush, and couldn't find a boyfriend for more than a hundred years.”

“This random blue succubus could easily snap you like a twig, my dear human strategist.”

Oh, she's doing that smile again… The 'I'll kill you soon' type of smile, while cracking her knuckles. U-oh.

“That goes both ways my cute strategist, you need me, I need you!”

She got closer and closer, strutting towards me with open arms.

“Don’t you fucking dare!”

I jump from the stool, but it's too late.

“Tee-hee~ Here it comes!”

She did it again. This stupid demon hugged me again. In reality, this is not even a hug. It’s like two fucking huge mountains moving towards you then the next thing you know is that you are lost in the valley between them. smells nice… kinda. It's also warm...

“Okay, that’s far enough, Whole ten seconds.”

I pushed her away, she's still reaching out to me like a baby, waggling her arms.

“I want more, c’mon.” She puckered her mouth.

“Damned woman you are more than five times older than me and I must be the one who needs to discipline you!”

“Well, I like hugging you, even if you don't! I also happen to be your boss!”

I turned away quickly.

“You damned light-dodger, don't you have your own stuff to do, instead of fooling around with a single towel.”

“Giving emotional support is also my job!” She grabs the top of my head. “So is re-education! Just a reminder you are teasing someone who is a lot more powerful than you can imagine.” She made a vicious smile, showing her sharp canines. Also those eyes... fuck sometimes they are scary…

“A feeble human wanted to become more powerful, so he started working under a militaristic demon.” She rubs her chin, then my head. “He doesn't want to turn into an incubus, to keep his purpose. You are certainly a weirdo!”

“Wow never saw that one coming… it's like the first time I heard it… really.”

“Stop with the sarcasm!” She squeezed her fingers harder, on my head.

“You guys do this to show who's… ouch!… the top dog?” She released my head, then pinched my cheek gently.

“Not everyone, but I like it more when my underling is obedient, you are like an unpolished diamond! I'll enjoy it so much when I'll break you!”

“Heh, I doubt you'll find a diamond here… Also didn't you have some rendezvous?”

“Oh damn! You are right!” She grabs the back of my neck and kisses my forehead.

“S-stop doing this damn it!”

“Sorry~ Now be a good boy for mommy, and don't cause a ruckus!” She releases me, kisses her palm, slightly extends her arm towards me and blows into it... What the fuck is wrong with you monsters? Then she just disappears... Like that...

Oh yeah, I forgot she can do that too. Anyway, back to the book, wait I'll write this down too that they can teleport... Did she also say... mommy?


The next day started out really rough, my tent has been ripped by a big storm. Holes everywhere… fuck. What a great start to the day. I was barely able to sleep, and now the bugs will also try to make my life harder. Somehow managed to crawl out of the bed. I usually wake up at this time, when it’s still dark outside, but hey, the bombs not going to make themselves.

“These little shits should already learn how to make this.” *yawn* I wash my face and brush my teeth. I take a glance outside, and surprise... only my tent is lit up, everyone else is sleeping, they were probably too busy fucking. Fuck my head is killing me from the lack of sleep.

“Months… And they still have no fucking clue how to manage their equipment either…” I grumble.

Why it has to be succubi in the damn first place? One of the most versatile species they say… More like the least disciplined! I mean this is ridiculous, once I noticed body fluids on the end of the muskets. For fucking real, sometimes I think I would be better off with the Order...
How can you be so depraved you use a damned pistol tube as a sex toy? Well, it would be funny as fuck if she shot herself while playing with it, not like it would cause permanent damage to her, because of a certain metal we use as ammunition. Let's not even mention the werewolves… maybe with dullahans I'll get luckier.

I looked at a malicious metal on my table next to me. It's almost like... it is alive! The demon was very persistent on my using this instead of the traditional stuff.

“Demonic silver…”

I grab the nugget and inspect it from every angle. To be fair, I don’t fully understand how it is formed, but from what I heard it’s a simple mineral exposed to a lot of demonic energy.

“To think it can even change something deeply engraved in the earth.”

Frightening, yet amazing at the same time, again I don’t really know how, but it works like a leech. It saps the energy of a person, which makes it pretty handy for monsters, and non-lethal take-downs of future husband candidates. Yeah they want their prey to stay alive.

“What a strange mindset… you shoot your future husband… Heh, typical monsters.”

Making a weapon out of this… is like going against the very nature of a weapon! Weapons are made to take lives with, it's like a reliable partner who can also save you, or more like it's an extension of you… With a weapon you are complete, without it you are missing a piece. Now this… ugh… ‘thing’ it’s even pink.

I giggled as I put it over the fire. Wow, the color is even more noticeable if melted! Oh boy, imagine that poor guy who is in the demon army and has to use a sword like this! Eww, I would dig myself a hole and lay down into it from embarrassment.

“Oh, ya awake?”

A pair of horns introduced themselves into my tent entrance.

“So it seems.”

It belonged to a tall red colored woman, even bigger than the demon. A foreigner from the Zipangu region, named Shihori, speaking with a strange accent. Her horns didn't have that angle, nor the sharpness, they seem more curved and grew from the woman's forehead, but just like the demon's they point upwards to the sky. If the demon was buff, now this woman, this was... even bigger! A red… oni was it? I think she mentioned before how her kind is full of these ripped warrior archetypes. She's currently in her ‘sleep gear’ it's kinda cute, considering she's not that like at all in battle. Her ashen-white hair is all over her face. Unlike the demon, she obviously doesn't really give a fuck about conditioning it. If someone sees her that guy knows right away: she had a fair share of battles. Now she's just gazing at me half asleep with her amber eyes. Oh yeah, now I get it… hangover. She probably drank too much, again, as expected from this species. I'm honestly in awe she didn't die from alcohol poisoning.

“Ya always tinkerin’ wid the gizmos even this early?”

“Here to be a nuisance, or you have something to report?” I push the logs inside the flame and use fan them a little. Somehow looking at flames always calms me down.

“Nothin’ Andy, I'm just checkin' on you.” She grinned.

Oh no, here we go again...

I stoop up and grabbed the mint tea I wanted to brew later and slapped it on the oni's arms who just blinked at me.

“Now, fuck off, chew it, brew it, I don't care.”


I raise the hot rod and point it towards her.

“Feh… Kuso doutei...” She snorts, grasps the teabag in her muscular hand, crushing its content further, and leaves.

“That's right… wait what did she just say? Ah fuck it… who cares”

I could still hear her saying incoherent zipangese words from the outside, which I don't understand... Are these damned monsters always horny? Or she was just a sleepwalker? Get a branch or something and stick it up if you can’t control it. This is such a damn nuisance when working with monsters, some of them are better at controlling their urges, and some are less. This individual probably belongs to the latter, but I must admit I, we need her. She’s damn useful, she’s like an unstoppable force in combat. Considering her physique, one may think she’s a braindead brute, but she can be smart too. That is until she has alcohol inside her. No wonder she’s higher on the ladder, just like that another monster, a manticore was it? I forgot… She's probably raping innocent men. As for this Oni, in fact, she likes to get her horns into things where they shouldn’t be. I once saw her lifting up a whole dam barrel of beer and chugging it down as it was water, then she threw it at the wall. According to her, the best booze is what her homeland makes, I think it was from rice... ugh... I think I'll stay with the good ol' whiskey.

“Ah fuck, I still have to finish this.” I shake my head to clear it.

It would be a disaster to run out of something in the battle, that’s why one must always stock up in essentials. I equip every single one of our guys or more like gals, with two of these bombs just in case. Since my duster allows me and I’m the entitled ‘demolition man’ I have four of these on me, almost all the time. I was surprised how popular they became with the monsters first, I thought they will refuse to use it even with demon silver due to ‘boo-hoo my future hubby might get hurt' mindset, but they quickly adapted to it. In fact, they love it. Area of effect, and even if it has a slower kick in than a direct stab, it’s pretty good and can open tactical advantages. Tactical rape that is…

I look at the tiny clock, it's 7:42 AM. I finished before 8, that’s good. Now I can relax a little, and then our training starts.

“The training of an army, huh?”

Who would have thought, I’ll be next in a squad of monsters one day. Fighting for them, even! Hmmm... I wonder what dad and mom would say. A human as a strategist for the monsters, I bet the Order never would guess... A human fighting under the demon Annalise.