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Is this what love feels like?

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Amity laid, listless, on her carpeted floor. 

Her arms and legs were spread, one hand gently playing with the threads of the carpet.

Her stomach felt empty, a swirling whirlpool of deep and crunching pain. Her heart felt bloody and torn and shredded; animals gnarling and mangling and clawing and chewing endlessly.

Amity felt another strain of tears fall through, flooding her senses and touching the sides of her ears like a twisted, gentle, and cool caress.

A choked sob slipped through her tightly shut mouth, her hands and body curling up to try and stop herself from letting more slip through. 

Her mouth opened, wet and shaking gasps escaping as a small string of saliva connected her lips together. Her throat squeezed and ached, almost strangling itself.

She managed to roll to her side, her hands flying and crawling to her mouth to strangle and smother her sobs into silence.

Her body shook and she curled into a ball, the gentle cradle and soft strands of the carpet a comforting and familiar feeling. 

 

 


Amity had to force herself to walk at a reasonable pace down the hallways to her locker.

The world felt blurred and muffled and dim. Her body felt heavy and so, so, small, her hands shaking like ice, and her throat collapsing in on itself. Her head constantly being attacked and picked at by pinpricks of needles and slicing nails. 

Her eyes closed, darkness enveloping her for a moment, her head starting to lean against her locker and her body feeling limp. 

"..ty?" A voice in the distance echoed, a barely felt warmth touching Amity's shoulder gently.

"Amity?

Amity mumbled, her eyes still closed and the words still somewhat muffled to her ears. A sudden release of tears covered her eyes like a thick film, so she squinted and crushed her closed eyes, hoping to keep them from falling and escaping. She grit her teeth, pursing her lips.

Judging from the little gasps, she didn't do so well keeping it in and hidden.

"Amity?" The voice gently whispered again, light blue and gray with worry, lightly holding Amity's face and moving it, a soft thumb running underneath one of her eyes, "Are you okay?

Amity opened her eyes a little, seeing familiar but blurry bodies and faces.

"I-I'm," Amity choked, her throat swelling painfully, "I-I'm fine!" She said, voice tight and scratched. She forced her eyes to open more, biting her bottom lip so hard it bled. 

She gulped down the feeling of bile and stringed mucus.

"I'm fine-" Amity forced herself to stop talking when her voice cracked, strangled and wet.

The worry and concern on Willow, Gus, and Luz's faces were just too much.

Tears escaped like a broken dam, flooding and dripping and pouring out.

Amity clenched her eyes shut and slapped herself with force as her hands quickly covered her face, covering her tears, but it was already too late. 

Gentle, warm, comforting hands touched her arms and hands; tenderly caring for her and softly filling the void within her, with their unbelievable and wonderfully gentle flames, softly wrapping around her.

She sobbed harder, pressing her hands harder into her face, her ears and neck starting to uncomfortably burn. 

Amity's body fell against the trio's, her knees trembling and crumbling underneath her weight.  

Hands made small circles on her back, warmth playing with and twirling her hair, a gentle rub up and down her arms. 

Amity body felt overflowing and torn, hot and cold. 

Her throat struggled, her hands leaving her face to wrap around the nearest, blurry neck, burying her face in it as she trembled and whimpered, trying to press into the body and dissappear. 

Amity shook like a leaf, warm tears streaming, endless, down her face. 

Soft, light orange and green words flowed, cooing sentences of comfort and stability.

Her breaths shook and she breathed, holding tighter onto the sweet warmth of another person. 

The person holding her reciprocated, and other hands gently held their place on Amity's body, the warmth of it all feeling and reminding of a soft carpet, only better and somehow more real

Amity's heart bled and burned, her whole body feeling the love and care that seeped out of lingering touches.

She swallowed, closing her eyes and relaxing more and more into the people holding her. 

Amity smiled a little as she started to fall asleep, exhaustion sweeping from underneath her and closing around her. 

Is this what love feels like?