Raymond Doyle was scared.
A foreign feeling, that. And one he didn’t much fancy.
But it didn’t change the fact. He was scared. All the talk between him and Bodie about making wills and writing letters and heaven and hell…it left him jittery, anxious, off-kilter, unable to sleep. Cowley’s “whisper of a kill” regarding President Parsali was now an ear-splitting scream in his head.
Someone was going to die tomorrow.
He felt it in his bones. Call it instinct or a sixth sense honed with his time first with the Met and now with CI5.
Someone was going to die.
The only question was…who? Himself? Bodie? Both of them? Giving their lives for a man they didn’t even know? Because that was the job. The job they’d chosen to do when they signed on the dotted line years ago.
If Ray had any say in this macabre game of Russian roulette then he selfishly hoped it would be both of them. Because he simply couldn’t contemplate life without Bodie.
Stop, he told himself. He was doing himself no favor lying here obsessing about tomorrow. He needed to clear his head. He needed to center himself. He needed rest. He needed…
There was movement by his feet and a moment later what he needed most of all was kneeling next to him.
Tall, dark and beautiful Bodie.
One look at his partner’s troubled blue eyes and Ray knew that despite Bodie’s earlier bravado, he was as unsettled as Ray was.
In a matter of minutes, without a word spoken between them, both of their sleeping bags were zippered together and they were naked in each other’s arms between the soft fabric.
They were the only ones in the building and they’d chosen a hallway with no windows, just a frosted skylight above them. Away from prying eyes they could drop the façade of being “just mates”.
Because they were so much more than that and had been for quite some time. But no one knew. No one could ever know. Not with this mob, or they ran the risk of being tossed off the squad as security liabilities, easily open to blackmail, among other things. The Home Office would be none too pleased with the scandal should two male CI5 agents be caught buggering each other. Ray understood why they had to be careful, but he hated it. Hated sneaking around to be together. But it was better than not having Bodie at all.
So they lied and hid what they truly felt for one another and lived for stolen moments like this.
And tonight…could be their last.
Bodie’s smooth, broad chest pressed gently against Ray’s back, his partner’s body curled around his own. Grateful for this time together, Ray relaxed into Bodie and soaked in his warmth, just as a quiet rumble of thunder was heard overhead, followed by the gentle pattering of rain on the skylight.
At first Bodie seemed content to just hold him and Ray felt the tension draining away, sleep creeping up on him at last. But then one of Bodie’s hands moved, slowly roaming up and down Ray’s naked body.
Heat flushed through Ray and his breath caught. One touch from Bodie was all it ever took to set his body aflame. With desire. With arousal. With unwavering, unconditional love.
Bodie’s fingers wandered down Ray’s arm, across his hip to his stomach, then lower, to play with the fine hairs below his navel. Then lower still, down Ray’s leg to his thigh before moving up again.
This time Bodie’s hand slid over Ray’s chest, over the soft, dark hair, his thumb brushing over one of Ray’s nipples. Then Ray felt his partner’s lips, soft and wet, against the side of his neck, kissing there, making him shiver. Bodie’s thumb was back on Ray’s nipple, gently rubbing the small nub over and over, igniting sparks of sensation that traveled straight down to his groin.
Ray swallowed and closed his eyes. He knew what Bodie wanted. Christ, what he wanted, too, and a tremor ran through his body in anticipation.
Because he and Bodie rarely took the time to truly make love. They’d been spending less time together socially, lest the tongues in the CI5 rest room start wagging harder than they normally did about them, speculating on the true nature of their relationship as they’d been doing for years. Only now it was true.
Now, too often when they found the time to be together they were so eager for one another they came together as an explosion, against the front door or a wall or on the floor of the lounge, burning hot and fast.
But sometimes…sometimes it was like this…
Ray sighed quietly as Bodie’s mouth moved over his neck, down to the top of his shoulder. Ray felt his partner’s growing hardness sliding between his thighs and he shifted, raising his top leg and draping it over Bodie’s, opening himself up wider to his partner. Bodie slid in further, the head of his cock now pressed gently against Ray’s sac. Ray groaned softly and felt himself begin to harden.
Bodie’s lips continued to trail kisses over Ray’s shoulder and neck, while his hand left his nipple and slid slowly downward, his fingertips leaving gooseflesh in their wake. Then his hand was between Ray’s legs, cupping his balls, lying heavy in their sac. Ray sucked in a breath and heard Bodie murmur in response as he caressed him, rolling Ray’s balls and tugging gently.
This was another aspect of their too rare lovemaking–the near silence.
Sex was normally vocal between them. Sharp cries of more, harder, faster and long, low moans from deep inside each of them and the yell of one another’s name as they fell over the edge.
But when they did this, really made love, they were quiet, as if they were afraid of bursting the fragile bubble that surrounded them with harsh, loud noises.
So their soundtrack was the beating of their hearts, their soft, panting breaths and quiet murmured whispers as they lay in their warm cocoon of the sleeping bags. And tonight, the added sound of the rain, which still fell gently against the skylight.
Bodie was moving between Ray’s thighs, his cock hot and hard. He changed his angle and Ray felt him press against his opening, as his hand left his balls to slide up the length of Ray’s cock.
Ray pressed back against Bodie with a quiet gasp as his partner stroked him to full hardness in a matter of moments. Ray felt him press against his opening again and his cock leaked precome in response, eager for what was to come. Bodie’s thumb slid through the clear fluid and swirled it around the sensitive, swollen head of Ray’s cock, trying to draw out more from the slit. Bodie’s breath was hot against his neck and Ray needed him inside of him now.
Ray reached back and cupped Bodie’s ass, pulling him harder against himself, his silent invitation to go further. Bodie acknowledged it with a kiss behind his ear and a long, firm stroke of Ray’s cock. Then Bodie’s hand was gone, his body twisting away from Ray slightly. He barely had time to miss Bodie’s heat and he was back, a slick finger sliding down the cleft of Ray’s ass. It didn’t surprise Ray in the least that Bodie had packed the small tube, in case they were able to steal a moment like this for themselves.
Bodie’s finger eased inside of Ray, the muscle giving way easily to the invasion. Ray had to smile at Bodie’s careful preparation, as a second finger joined the first to stretch him. With as many times as they’d done this, it really wasn’t necessary, but his partner would never take the chance that he’d hurt him. So Ray simply enjoyed the feel of Bodie’s fingers sliding in and out of his body, until he found the spot that made Ray jerk and gasp.
Then Bodie’s fingers were gone, swiftly replaced by the blunt head of his cock. And this…this is the part that Ray loved, and Bodie knew it. That first sensation of his partner entering him, as the swollen head of his cock slid in, stretching him, filling him…God, it was like nothing Ray had ever felt before.
So Bodie prolonged the moment as long as possible, giving Ray as much pleasure as he could. He pushed in slowly, God, so slowly, and Ray felt just the tip breach his body. Ray bit his lip to keep from crying out as Bodie pushed in again, and the rest of the head of his cock slid inside him.
Christ, it was good, so good… Ray knew he would never get tired of feeling his partner inside him, his body stretching around him. Ray groped for Bodie’s hand and they entwined their fingers, laying them against Ray’s chest, over his heart.
Then Bodie’s hips began to move, pressing in a bit more, before sliding back until just the tip of his cock remained inside Ray. Bodie repeated it over and over, each time pushing further and further inside Ray. His strokes were slow and steady, and each one drove Ray higher and higher.
The fact that his ex-mercenary, ex-soldier, tough-as-nails partner was capable of this kind of tenderness made Ray’s eyes sting with moisture every time. Especially knowing that Bodie only shared this side of himself with him, and no one else.
By the time Bodie slid his full length inside of Ray, his breath was coming in short pants and Bodie’s head was buried against Ray’s neck. Ray’s heart pounded against their hands and he could feel Bodie’s pounding against his back.
Ray was rock hard and leaking more precome and Bodie just kept up his long, slow thrusts. Ray loved this. He loved that he could feel every single inch of Bodie when he went this slow. He was so hot and hard inside Ray, pressing deeper and deeper.
Ray whimpered and Bodie untangled his fingers from Ray’s, reaching between his legs to take him in hand. Ray again bit his lip as Bodie started stroking him in time with his own thrusts.
The slow pace was maddening, but Ray didn’t want it any other way. He gave himself over to the sensations Bodie was creating in his body, lying safe in his partner’s arms, knowing he could fall apart and Bodie would be there. Always.
Ray heard the rain continue to fall and he imagined Bodie and himself outside in it, lying naked in the lush, green grass near the pond on the property. Bodie was straddling his hips, riding him. His hands were on Ray’s chest, his head thrown back in ecstasy. The rain clung to the tips of his dark hair and long eyelashes, water running in slow rivulets down his chest as he impaled himself over and over onto Ray’s cock.
Ray couldn’t help the small moan that escaped his lips at his fantasy and he felt himself throb in Bodie’s grasp. His fingers tightened around Ray’s cock and Ray bucked his hips forward, then back. He felt and heard Bodie’s answering groan against his skin and Ray knew they were reaching their breaking point.
“Love you…” Bodie whispered against his ear and Ray’s heart stuttered.
It was almost taboo in their line of work, in the dark and dangerous world they operated in, to admit you cared for someone. Because falling in love? That was destined to end with a bullet. But when had he and Bodie ever played by the rules?
Bodie’s thrusts got harder and Ray pressed back to meet them. Just as Bodie’s rhythm started to falter, he hit that spot inside Ray once, twice and he started to shake. The third time was both their undoing.
Bodie held him even closer as he came, gasping out Ray’s name, his cock pulsing deep inside Ray over and over, filling him with slick, wet heat. Ray felt him shaking with the intensity of his orgasm, always powerful for both of them when they made love like this.
His climax wasn’t even over when Ray felt his overtake him, as Bodie continued to stroke his cock. Ray groaned Bodie’s name as his orgasm raced through him and he bathed his partner’s hand in thick, white ropes of his release. Ray’s cock throbbed again and again until he was spent, panting and boneless in Bodie’s arms. His partner gently massaged his cock, coaxing out every last drop, as they both trembled through the aftershocks.
Bodie released Ray’s softening cock and Ray knew he was licking his hand clean. Bodie had never been able to get enough of his taste, or Ray his.
Bodie’s hand came back spotless, resting on Ray’s chest, fingers caressing his skin, soothing in their rhythm. Then he titled Ray’s chin, turning his head toward him. Ray caught sight of his partner’s wide blue eyes, clear now, calm, before Bodie’s soft, warm lips were finally against his own, their mouths moving gently together for a long, reassuring, comforting kiss.
When they eventually eased back, still intimately joined, Ray closed his eyes, calm now himself, settled. The fear was still there. But so was the desire to live, now more than ever because of the man who held him so tenderly.
Tomorrow would sort itself.
Tonight Ray would dream of him and Bodie, out in the rain…