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Eda’s Advice

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Luz left the takeaway after finishing her shift. The takeaway was called Jeremys Kebabs and it was one of those places that sold the sketchiest donners. It was late, around midnight.

She had changed back out of her work clothes into her normal ones that didn’t smell of grease. She shoved her hands in her pockets and began walking home, until she stopped.

Holy shit-

There was Amity Blight, the really hot, rich girl whom she had this extremely weird and confusing relationship with. Like one minute they were all flirty, the next they were fighting.

And then to make this shit even more complicated, she sees Amity dragging a limp body out of one of the alleyways behind her workplace. Amity dropped the person, and tossed her long mint hair over her shoulder.

Luz was only going to slowly back away and pretend she hadn’t seen anything, after all, it wasn’t like she was some kinda snitch but then Amity turned that piercing golden gaze onto her, making her bristle.

What the fuck- how did Amity even know she was there? Maybe she could just run, afterall Amity probably hadn’t seen her face-

Amity’s voice cut through the darkness.



Luz immediately froze. Wait, didn't Eda give her some advice on how to deal with these kinds of things?

Step 1: Get them off guard

Then she laughed, with Amity’s face quickly changing to threatening to confused.

“Fancy seeing you here, Blight.” Luz chuckled, “Isn’t this an awkward situation?”

Amity stalked up to her face, yanking the knife from her pocket and holding it up.

“If you tell anyone, I will personally make sure you join this person in the afterlife.” Amity said, her tone hostile

Luz placed her hand over the hand that Amity was using to grip the knife, and pushed it down.

Step 2: Compromise

“Relax, Blight, there’s no need. And if you're still gonna kill me, I can offer you a fifty percent discount on Jeremys kebabs.”

Amity hesitantly lowered the knife, and shoved it back into her pocket. Luz knew to approach carefully from here, as she was on thin ice. As in, if she made one wrong move, this very attractive girl, who she was almost friendly with, would slit her throat.

“So,” Luz peered over at the presumably dead body lying there in the corner “who is that?”

“No questions.” Amity snapped


Extra tip: Don’t ask questions

At this Amity cracked a small, amused smile, and Luz internally sighed in relief.

Step 3: Optional- offer your services

“So, uh, do you need a partner in crime?” Luz twiddled her fingers

“Why would you think I needed one?” Amity questioned, tilting her head to one side

“Dunno. Some witty conversation while you go kill people, Edas taught me some stuff, y’know Eda the Owl Lady.” Amity actually looks kind of impressed “Plus I’m actually pretty good at beating people up as you know.”

“You know what, Noceda?” Amity looks Luz straight in the eye “Sure.”

“Wait- really?” Luz said

“Yes, you idiot,” Amity rolled her eyes

The step that Luz just added: Propose a date if you're attracted to your dangerous opponent..??

“And uh-“ Luz starts

“Make it quick.” Amity says briskly,

“I was just wondering if you wanted to go grab slushies with me at one of those all night stores.”

Amity blinked.

There was a brief pause.

“I don’t know, I kinda have to deal with this,” amity gestures to the corpse behind her

Luz mentally facepalms. Why did she think it was a good idea to ask someone out while they were disposing of a body?

Hardly the most romantic scenario.

“But how does discussing these matters over coffee tomorrow, at ten, sound to you?” Amity asked

“Just fine,” Luz grinned

“Then it’s a date, Noceda.” Amity winks

Luz smiles back, and begins to walk home.

Who knew Eda’s advice would work so well?