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This Is What Broke Kara Danvers

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Everyone was in mild shock. Lex had pushed Kara too far and the blonde kryptonian had bolted out of the room in tears for Lena.

Now Alex, Nia, Mon-El, Kate, Barry, Cisco, Caitlin, and Lex remained in the room.

“Alright. That’s it.” Caitlin said. The scientist allowed Frost to take the reins.

Caitlin’s hair became white as snow and her eyes were now a piercing blue. Frost wasted no time in marching over to Lex and unleashing a steady flow of her ice powers.

Lex was frozen in place.

“Is that safe?” Alex asked. “Because we unfortunately need him. You guys are accomplished scientists but he’s the only one who understands how to use the anti-matter.”

“He’s safe.” Frost responded. “Cisco and I can handle this for now. I’ll unfreeze him when we need him.”

Alex nodded. “It’ll be nice to have a break. He’s a monster.”

“Should someone go check on Kara. She seemed pretty upset.” Nia added.

Alex was about to say something but was cut off when Kate shook her head and spoke up. “No. I think it’s best if we let her get her emotions out.”

Alex shook her head. “But Kara hates space and time.”

“I didn’t say we needed to give her space. All I’m saying is that we let her cry it out until we go in there and try to get her to stop crying. She needs that emotional release.” Kate explained.

“I suppose you’re right.” Alex said. “I just... why did Lex have to do that? I didn’t want Kara to know about Lena because I knew she wouldn’t be able to focus.”

“You knew Lena died?” Kate asked.

Alex reluctantly nodded. “Yes. She... sacrificed herself so that the transmatter portals could get the legion ships to space in time. Now... Kara knows she didn’t make it.”

“What was Lena to Kara?” Barry asked.

Alex chuckled. “Well they were best friends and... Kara eventually fell in love with her. They had a falling out recently because of Kara’s identity and I guess despite being dead, Lex somehow knew about it.”

“To suddenly find out someone you love is already dead, that's... horrible.” Frost said.

“She’s not as naive as you think she is.” Kate pointed out.

Alex dawned a confused look. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

Kate sighed. “I mean that Kara already knew about Lena since before our mission to Earth 99.”

“What? How is that possible?” Alex asked. She turned her attention to Mon-El and Nia. ‘Did you tell her?”

Nia shook her head. “No. I didn’t say anything.”

Mon-El also shook his head. “You asked us not to.” He reminded her.

“No one told her. She found out on her own.” Kate said.

“How is that possible?” Alex questioned.

Caitlin spoke up next, having changed back from Frost. “Is there a way she could have figured it out with her powers?”

A look of realization could suddenly be seen on Alex. “She used her super hearing.”

“How would that help her find out that Lena’s dead. Couldn’t Lena have just been quiet this whole time?” Barry asked.

“It’s not that.” Ales stated. “Kara’s powers allow her to hear heartbeats and she’s capable of memorizing the ones closest to her.”

“She can memorize heartbeats?” Cisco asked.

Alex nodded. “Yes and she can tune into them at any time. She memorized mine back when she was in high school before I left for college and she memorized Mon-El’s a few years ago when they were dating before.”

“But since then, Kara’s fallen in love with Lena and memorized her heartbeat.” Mon-El added.

Alex nodded in confirmation.

“I found her in the meeting room of the legion ship last night. She was holding the census of Earth 38 survivors.” Kate stated. “I’m guessing she wanted to see it and confirm it but I’m sure there’s other people on that list that Kara knew who also didn’t make it.”

“Ugh!” Alex groaned. “I didn’t want Kara to know about Lena and I definitely didn’t want her to read that census. It’s going to throw her off her game and get her killed!”

“You don’t know that for sure.” Kate responded. “Besides, she handled Earth 99 and the antimatter wave just fine.”

“Plus... I think she had a right to know. We shouldn’t have kept it from her. You shouldn’t have asked us to keep it from her.” Nia said.

Alex took a deep breath. “I-I guess you’re right. I just don’t want her... to die.”

“She won’t. She’s too determined.” Kate replied.

Alex actually chuckled in disbelief. “I find that hard to believe. She found that the love of her life disintegrated in a wave of red.”

Kate was going to ease everyone into Kara’s plan to revive Earth 38 and all other destroyed earths but she decided to say it outright. “Kara wants to use the Book Of Destiny to bring back all of the destroyed earths.”

There were a few gasps and definitely a lot of surprised looks around the room.

“Would that even work? Could that bring everyone including Lena back?” Nia asked.

Kate shrugged. “It revived our bald friend over there. It stands to reason that it could do just about anything.”

“Why hasn’t she already done it? Her cousin used the book to fix reality after Deegan rewrote it. She’s certainly strong enough to use it.” Barry said.

“If we did it now... the Anti-Monitor would just destroy it all over again. All we’d be doing is increasing his power.” Kate explained.

“Isn’t that kind of morally questionable?” Cisco asked.

Kate shook her head. “I don’t think so. There are hundreds of thousands of people aboard this ship who no longer have a home and there are an endless amount of people across the multiverse who have already lost their lives to this crisis.”

“Fair enough.” Cisco said, solemnly.

“The sooner we stop the Anti-Monitor, the sooner we can try and repair the multiverse.” Alex stated.

Kate nodded. “That’s what’s driving Kara.”

Alex nodded. “I suppose I should have just told her about Lena. Growing up, my goal was always to protect Kara. I don’t always realize that I’m hurting her instead.”

“You had good intentions.” Barry pointed out.

“Do you think she’ll forgive me?” Alex asked.

Kate sighed. “That’s a stupid question.” She replied.

Nia nodded. “There wouldn’t be a Supergirl with Agent Danvers.”

“Yeah, but there wouldn’t be a Kara Danvers without Lena Luthor.” Alex stated.

Alex had no idea of the weight those words put on Kate. Kara had admitted to Kate that she realized she’d been struggling with her mental health. Because of that, Kara wasn’t entirely herself. But... Kate promised Kara she wouldn’t say anything until Kara was sure that she was ready. She believed it had to be Kara to bring it up.

The next part of the conversation made Kate mildly sick.

“You’re over exaggerating. Kara is strong and she was even before she met Lena Luthor. She’ll bounce back.” Mon-El said.

Kate believed that too. Kara would be able to come back from this but not unless they could save the multiverse and bring Lena back.

“I guess she will.” Alex said.

“First, we have to save the multiverse.” A new voice was heard in the room; Kara’s voice.

“Kara!” Alex exclaimed.

Kara was back in the hub room of the legion ship, having changed out of the Flamebird suit. Her eyes were a little red and barely puffy. It was clear to everyone in the room that she tried her hardest to make it look like she hadn’t been crying.

Alex moved forward to hug her sister. “I’m so sorry, Kara. You deserved to know. I just didn’t want you to get yourself killed by being distracted.”

Kara hugged her sister back. “It’s alright Alex. I um... if it’s ok I... don’t want to talk about Lena... right now.”

Alex nodded. “Of course, Kara. We don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want to.”

Kate knew that Kara said she wanted to open up to her friends and family at her own pace but she could also see the backpedalling Kara was doing.

The blonde had a perfect opportunity to at least tell Alex that she wasn’t ok but she didn’t take it.

It might have been that there were other people in the room that Kara wasn’t ready to speak to but it still concerned Kate. She knew Kara was going to struggle to admit her pain.

Kate honestly believed Kara didn’t even mean to admit it to her. It was a very emotionally vulnerable state that she found Kara in and even so... Kate prompted the blonde to realize that she was having some struggles with a little bit of depression.

The Gotham City vigilante only hoped it wouldn’t get worse. The more pain Kara felt, the harder it would be for her to feel happiness.

Still, Kate opted to say nothing. It wasn’t her secret and she wanted Kara to be able to seek this out for herself.

However, Kate silently promised to say something if it started going too far.

“Kate told us about how you wanted to bring back every universe once we stop the Anti-Monitor.” Caitlin spoke up.

Kara reluctantly nodded. “Yeah... I mean I knew that the Book Of Destiny was... powerful.”

“That’s true. Deegan used it to swap mine and...” Barry paused. “...Oliver’s lives.”

“He also used it to turn himself into Earth 1’s Superman and he...” There was another pause from Kara this time. “...manipulated Alex’s life.”

“What do you mean by that?” Nia asked.

“In that world, Alex didn’t know me and... she never came out to me.” Kara answered.

“Cisco was a mafia don and Caitlin worked for the evil Superman.” Barry added.

Caitlina and Cisco both gained very shocked looks on their faces. They hadn’t gfotten too many details about Barry’s adventure with the Book Of Destiny a year ago.

“Then the Monitor was able to use the book to restore my powers and... he even brought Lex back to life.” Kara said as she gestured to the frozen madman.

“The book is also responsible for identifying the paragons. I’d bet that it could bring back the multiverse if that’s what we really needed.” Kate stated.

Kara spoke next. “There are only two concerns. The first is whether or not the Monitor will go along with it and the second is whether or not I’m strong enough.”

“No matter what happens, we got your back.” Kate said, confidently.

“I agree and don’t worry... you’re the strongest person I know.” Alex added.

Kara smiled lightly but on the inside she had never felt more disgusted with herself.

Everyone in this room believed her to be strong but she herself couldn’t believe that. Kara had lost her spark, her sun, her radiance. Kara had lost Lena.

The other heroes were telling her she was strong but she had never felt more weak. She was falling into depression and she didn’t even have the guts to admit to those closest to her.

Kara nodded, not allowing any tears to spill from her eyes. “Thank you... but we have to stop the Anti-Monitor first.”