“Get your own damn fries!” Dean growled, clutching his fast food bag closer to his chest.
“I had my own, Dean,” Castiel explained patiently, “I just ate them all.”
“Yeah, and I told you to get a large, remember? I specifically said ‘if you eat them all and want more, you’re not getting any of mine.’ Weren’t you listening?”
“I was trying to avoid the calories, but I didn’t factor in how hungry I would be even after finishing.”
“Well, that’s just what you get for listening to Sammy. Let this be a lesson. If you wanna try out the rabbit food diet, you’re gonna be hungry all the time. My way's the fun way.”
Across the room, Sam scoffed.
“Please, Dean? I will compensate you,” Cas asked, pouting.
“How?” Dean snorted. “We give you all your money.”
“I meant that I would pay you back with intercourse,” Cas said in his matter-of-fact way of speaking. “I’ll even wear that thing you like—“
Dean practically threw his fries at the ex-angel.
“You know,” Sam began, “Somehow, I thought my life might get less awkward when you two finally got together. I was wrong. It just got worse. I think I’m going to go research in my room or something.”
“Don’t be like that, Sammy! You’re just jealous because you don’t have a hot angel of your own to play with,” Dean winked, throwing a fry at Sam.
“Gabriel,” Castiel said in surprise.
“What?!” Sam squawked, flailing and almost knocking his laptop off his lap. “What are you—I don’t—that’s just—“
Cas gave him a look. “No, I just meant…behind you.”
Sam looked over his shoulder, jumping about a foot in the air when he found himself face-to-face with the smirking archangel. This time, the laptop did fall.
Gabriel’s smirk grew, if possible, wider. “Boy, this is tense. You okay there, Samsquatch? Am I interrupting something?”
“Dammit, Gabe! If you broke my computer, I swear—“
“Good to see you too, Sammy. If you broke your precious laptop, I’ll fix it. No problem-o,” Gabe rolled his eyes. He looked at Dean. “Do you think he’ll ever love a person as much as he loves that piece of machinery?”
“Probably not. She’d really have to be something,” Dean said, watching Sam closely. Because of this, Dean missed the way Gabriel practically deflated at his words. Castiel, on the other hand, did not.
“To what do we owe the pleasure, Gabriel?” Cas asked.
“Eh,” Gabriel shrugged, plopping on the couch next to Sam. Really close to Sam. “I just wanted to see how my baby bro was adjusting to human life. And then I thought, hey, might as well check up on my other two favorite humans while I’m at it.”
“Well, we’re happy to have ya, right Sammy? Oh, but wait…you were about to go hang out in your room, weren’t you? Oh well,” Dean shrugged, smiling at Cas, “I guess that just means we get Gabriel to ourselves.”
“No!” Sam said quickly, immediately backtracking. “I…I mean, I think Gabriel being here will make dealing with you two easier, so I…I guess I’ll stay out here.”
Gabriel beamed at Sam. Dean did as well, but there was something sharp in his brother’s smile that put Sam immediately on edge. That smile never meant good things. That was the smile that meant Nair in his shampoo or itching powder in his boxers.
Suddenly, Castiel stood up and turned to Dean. “Dean. There was that…thing. I meant to speak to you about? Can we go talk in your room?”
Dean frowned but nodded, following Castiel and ignoring the pleading look Sam sent his way.
“If that’s code for sex,” Gabriel called after them, “it’s really obvious.”
When they got to Dean’s room, Castiel shut the door so neither Sam nor Gabe could hear.
“I think my brother is in love with your brother,” both Dean and Castiel said at the same exact time.
“Wait…what?” Dean asked when they’d both processed what the other had said. “I didn’t think Gabe likes Sam like that.”
“It’s difficult to see the signs, seeing as Gabriel flirts with anything that moves,” Cas agreed, “But I’m positive he likes Sam. You’re sure Sam likes him back?”
“What, are you kidding? The kid’s a nervous wreck around Gabriel. So…what should we do about this?”
“You think we should do something?” Cas asked hesitantly.
“Well…Sam isn’t going to make a move anytime soon. Is Gabe?”
Cas shrugged. “I fear that even if he did, Sam wouldn't take him seriously because he does flirt so casually. When you first started showing interest in me, because of how often you flirt I had initially assumed it was just because you were bored, or horny, or both.”
Dean laughed, pulling Cas in for a quick kiss. “Are you kidding? It was always you, baby. So it’s settled, then? We have to do something to get them together."
“Um…Dean?” Cas asked, wiggling out of Dean's arms.
“How exactly does one get two people together?”
“Uh...Hell if I know.” Dean made a face, “You don’t have any ideas?”
“I wouldn’t exactly consider myself an expert in romantic relationships, Dean. Or the protocol surrounding them.”
“Good point. I’ll come up with the ideas, then. You can just stand there and look pretty.”
“I can do that,” Castiel nodded with a small smirk.
Sometime the next day, Castiel walked up to Sam, saying “here,” and pressing a ridiculously large lollipop into the Winchester's hand. Frowning, Sam looked down at it.
“I don’t want this.”
“You will,” Cas nodded sagely. With that he walked away, leaving a very confused Sam in his wake. Cas turned into the hallway, supposedly out of sight, but Sam clearly saw him peeking around the corner into the room to watch when he thought the younger Winchester wasn’t looking. When Sam glanced over, Cas ducked frantically out of sight.
Sam watched the spot where Cas was hiding, eyebrows drawing together. He was about to ask just what the hell Cas thought he was doing when Gabriel appeared directly in front of him. “Heya, Sammy!”
“Gabe,” Sam blinked. Two visits in as many days? This is a welcome change.
“What’s with the frown lines, kiddo?” Gabriel asked, reaching up to smooth out the line between Sam’s eyebrows. “I was just talking to Dean-o. He said you have something for me?” Gabriel asked, barely containing his excitement.
“He said I...Huh? He did?” Sam asked. Gabriel’s smile fell a little, and Sam immediately looked around for something he could give the archangel just to make that bright smile come back. Then he saw Castiel’s face peer around the corner to watch them. He looked down at the lollipop in his hand, even more confused than before.
He held the sucker out to Gabe, and whatever his brother and the ex-angel were up to was worth it, seeing the archangel’s face light up. He decided that whatever the hell they were planning, he didn’t mind it so much. But he’d definitely ask about it later.
“For me? Oh Sam, how well you know me!” Gabriel snatched up the sucker and unwrapped it, casually throwing the wrapper on the ground. Sighing, Sam bent to pick it up and stood back up just in time to watch the sucker disappear into Gabriel’s mouth. His mind went blank. He was trying not to stare, but he was also pretty sure he was failing, as Gabriel swirled the large sucker around.
The characteristic smirk appeared on Gabriel’s face, as Sam’s fixation on his sucker didn’t escape his notice. He pulled it out of his mouth and held it out to Sam. “Want a lick?” he asked, waggling his eyebrows.
“No!” Sam blushed, snapping out of it. “I have to…um…”
Sam tried to make a hasty escape, but turned the corner and slammed into Cas, who couldn’t have been doing anything other than eavesdropping. Cas tried to make some excuse, but Sam rolled his eyes and stepped around him.
Later that day, while Sam was on the computer looking for a case, Gabriel came into his room and plopped down next to him on the bed. Sam watched him, waiting for the archangel to say something, but he never did. He just casually leaned over to read Sam’s computer screen, that damn lollipop still in his mouth.
Shaking his head, Sam returned to his research. He wouldn’t be the first to break the silence. If anything, it should be Gabriel’s job.
But then, after Gabe smacked the sucker particularly loudly, Sam’s patience snapped. “Don’t you have work to do or something?”
Gabriel snorted. “What ‘work’ would I have to do? I’ve been in hiding for thousands of years. Cassie was the only angel who found out I’m still alive, and now he’s not even an angel anymore.”
“Right. But don’t you have assholes to screw over? Trickster stuff to do, or something?”
“I’ve given up the trickster business, actually. It was fun while it lasted, but you and your lovely brother have shown me the error of my ways,” Gabriel smirked up at him. “I think I’ll just hang out with you guys for a while. You’re more entertaining, anyways.”
“Good to know,” Sam sighed, trying to figure out how he was going to survive Gabriel hanging around indefinitely.
“If you don’t want me here, Sam, you can just say so,” Gabriel said with a serious expression. It was always weird to see that look on the usually light-hearted archangel’s face.
“Of course I want you here, Gabe. You’re just…I don’t know, loud. It’ll just take some adjusting on my part.” Sam smiled at him.
“Oh, okay,” Gabriel said, settling back into a smile. “Cool beans.”
“I’ll be right back, though. I just wanna run this article past Dean, see if he thinks there might be a case,” Sam said, unplugging his laptop and scooting to the edge of the bed.
“I’ll come with!”
“Don’t worry about it. I’ll literally just be a minute. Feel free to…um. Make yourself at home.”
Gabriel sat back against the headboard, looking almost dejected for a minute, then his face lit up. “I’m taking that as permission to look through your things,” he said, hopping off the bed and wandering over to Sam’s dresser. He started picking through the possessions sitting on top of it.
“Was that supposed to motivate me to move faster? ‘Cause it definitely did,” Sam grumbled as he was leaving the room. Behind him, he heard Gabriel chuckle and briefly wondered if it was at his comment or at something of Sam’s he found amusing.
Sam saw them before they saw him. Dean and Cas were sitting across from each other on Dean’s bed while Dean was animatedly explaining something, using his hands to help. Cas nodded, looking excited.
“Guys,” he said, knocking on the door frame.
Dean’s hands fell to his lap and he stopped speaking mid-sentence. Both Dean and Cas turned to look at him with wide eyes. “Oh, hey Sammy. Where’s Gabe?” Dean asked innocently. Too innocently. Sam narrowed his eyes.
“My room. Okay, seriously. What are you guys up to?”
“Your room, huh?” Dean asked, grinning.
“Not like that,” Sam scoffed, blushing, “I asked you a question, Dean. The lollipop thing? What the hell was that?”
Dean’s expression went carefully blank. “I have no idea what you’re talking about, Sam. Now go entertain your archangel or something and leave us alone. We were having a moment.”
“Uh-huh,” Sam nodded skeptically. “Fine. Whatever. But first, just take a look at this article and tell me what you think. Sounds like it could be a vengeful spirit or something.”
When he got back to his room, Gabriel was about to open his underwear drawer. “No!” Sam shouted, rushing over to slam it shut before Gabe could see what was in it. Namely, personal stuff. Personal stuff he used for...um...personal times that he really didn’t want Gabriel thinking too hard about. “Jesus, can’t you just sit still for two minutes? You’re like a little kid.”
“Can't deny it,” Gabe chirped, obediently following Sam back to the bed. Sam didn’t miss the curious look the archangel shot back at his dresser drawer, though.
“That’s off-limits,” Sam warned.
“I mean it, Gabe. It’s off-limits unless you want to make me really mad.”
Gabriel rolled his eyes. “Just because I have the attention span of the kid doesn’t mean you have to talk to me like I’m one. So what did Dean say? Do we have a case?”
“We?” Sam asked, amused. Gabriel nodded. “Uh, I don’t know. He and Cas were up to…something. He said he’d read it later.”
“They’ve been kind of weird the past couple days, haven’t they? Or is it just me?”
“No! Thank God, I'm not crazy! It’s not just you! Whatever they’re doing they’re being really obvious about it, but I can’t figure out what it is and it’s driving me insane!”
Gabriel shrugged. “I’m sure we’ll figure it out eventually.”
“Hmmm,” Sam agreed, returning to his computer.
After about half an hour of them sitting like that, Sam apparently managed to bore the archangel into leaving. While it was good to know that was an option for getting rid of him in the future, Sam found himself really wishing he could’ve thought of something to say to Gabriel sooner.
They’d just been sitting there in silence, Sam finishing some research for another hunter while Gabriel finished his lollipop, but the whole time Sam couldn’t concentrate because he was actually wracking his brain for something to say, for some way to start a conversation, but every time he thought he had something he ended up chickening out. And he had no idea why Gabe was making him so nervous, so he didn’t know how to get past it.
But eventually, Gabe sighed and left without another word, and Sam didn’t say anything to stop him. In Sam’s defense, Gabriel hadn’t said anything either. So it wasn’t entirely on him.
Trying to shake it off, Sam went back to the research he hadn’t been able to concentrate on earlier.
After however many hours, he caught movement in his doorway. Looking up, he was disappointed to see it was Dean and not Gabriel. “Hey.”
Sam had no idea where this disappointment was coming from. A few hours ago, he was worried about the prospect of the archangel staying with them. But he already found he missed Gabriel’s presence.
“Hey, Sulky McSulkerson,” Dean said, waving his arm to get his brother out of whatever daydream he was in, “What’s with you?”
Sam’s eyebrows shot up. “Really? ‘Sulky McSulkerson’? Real mature, Dean. And I’m not sulking, I was just thinking about something.”
“Sure you’re not, Romeo.”
“What?” Sam laughed.
“Whatever, man. You’re doing dinner tonight, right?”
“Yeah, about that…me and Cas are doing a date night thing. So we’ll probably be gone. All night. Just so you know…won’t be back till morning, if you wanted to…I don’t know, run around in your underwear or something. Oh, wait. No, Gabe’s still here. So I guess it’s just gonna be you two tonight,” Dean beamed at Sam, “Anyways, I’m not planning on leaving you hungry. I whipped up something quick for you and Gabe.”
“What?” Sam asked, his voice coming out strangled-sounding. “Just me and Gabe? But he doesn’t even need to eat!”
“Yeah, but you know he likes to anyways. Problem, Sammy?” Dean was smiling again, using that Cheshire grin that always made Sam fear for his safety. He decided whatever his brother was up to, Sam would not give him the satisfaction of being bothered by it.
“Nope. No problem,” Sam smiled back at his brother.
“Good. Well, Cas and I are gonna get going. Your dinner’s all ready in the kitchen.”
“O-“ Sam began, but dean was gone before he had a chance to finish. “-kay?”
Sam walked into the kitchen just as Gabriel strolled in through the other door. Gabriel, wide-eyed, took in the set-up of the room before turning to Sam with his hands up defensively. “Wasn’t me.”
“Uh…” Sam said eloquently, looking at their transformed kitchen. “What the hell.”
It was clean for once, not that it was easy to tell, considering how dim the lights were set. The table had been moved to the middle of the room so that it was the first thing to draw Sam’s eyes when he walked in. There was a red tablecloth laid out on it, which in itself was odd, but wasn’t what had Sam freaking out. There were exactly two places set at the table, set with really nice-looking plates Sam didn’t even know they owned and champagne glasses and—yep, there was an ice bucket and a bottle of champagne on the other side of the table from where he stood.
There was food at the table, and Sam had to admit it looked delicious. This was all illuminated by several elegantly-set candles.
To top it all, there was something hidden somewhere in the room that was playing music. Not just normal music, but this cheesy harp-type music.
Mood lighting. A Candlelit dinner. Champagne. Romantic music.
“Oh my God,” Sam groaned, burying his face in his hands. “That’s why they’ve been acting so weird. They’ve been setting us up.”
“Well I didn’t realize the idea of a date with me would be so horrifying to you, Sammy,” Gabriel huffed. The angel meant to make it sound teasing, Sam knew, but something about the way he said it was decidedly…not. Teasing, that is. Sam peeked between his fingers at the angel, who was visibly pouting.
“You…would you want to be on a date with me?” he said, shocked into asking the obvious question.
“Well…" Gabriel shuffled, looking more uncomfortable than Sam had ever seen him. "Yeah. I would. I have wanted that…for a while, I guess,” Gabriel shrugged, refusing to meet Sam’s eye.
“I do, too. Um…I mean, I want to. Date you. I think I’m more horrified that it took me so long to realize it,” Sam said with a sheepish smile and a half-shrug.
“Really?” Gabriel asked, face lighting up with the biggest smile Sam had ever seen. “You’re sure?”
“Positive,” Sam said, crossing over to the other side of the table and grabbing the bottle of champagne. “So if we're gonna do this, we might as well go all out. You want some?”
Gabriel ignored the question, instead walking right up to Sam. Reaching up, he pulled Sam’s head down to his and planted a chaste kiss on the hunter’s lips. “Now that is much better than some cheap champagne could ever be,” he smirked. “But sure, I’ll have a glass.”
“Cas, don’t crowd me!” Dean hissed as they both crept into the bunker together. It was the following morning. Almost noon, actually. Cas had insisted they give Sam and Gabe some time, in case their plan actually worked.
Dean peeked into the kitchen with Castiel right on his heels. The table had been cleared, but hopefully that was a good sign. Even if they decided they didn't want to date or whatever, they’d better have eaten the food Dean made. He worked really hard on that meal. Even more so because he had to prepare the whole thing without Sam or Gabriel noticing.
“Sam? Gabriel?” Cas called out hesitantly.
He was answered by Gabriel’s call of “In the living room, kiddos.”
Cas followed the sound of Gabriel’s voice while Dean checked the fridge to see if they’d eaten the meal he worked so hard on and stopped when he found Gabriel. And Sam. Cas smiled down at them.
They were curled up together on the couch, with Gabriel tucked between Sam’s arm and his chest. They were both naked, from what Cas could tell, apart from the blanket that covered the lower halves of their bodies. Sam was fast asleep, but Gabe was stretching and worming his way out of Sam’s grip. “Morning, Cassie! How was your night?” he asked with a wink. “You wouldn’t believe how good mine was.”
Just then, Dean came up behind Cas, making a strangled sound. “Did you have sex on our couch?!” he shouted.
His shout woke Sam up, who flailed and reflexively pulled Gabriel closer. Once he caught his bearings, he blinked at his angry brother. “Um. Okay, Dean. Do not pretend you and Cas haven't had sex in our kitchen.”
“Awww, Samsquatch, you’re so cute when you blush,” Gabe said, pinching Sam’s cheek.
“I think I’m going blind,” Dean whined, covering his eyes.
“Hey, it’s partly your own fault,” Sam laughed. “And for the record, you guys are the worst at this matchmaking stuff. If it was me trying to set you guys up, I would’ve been much smoother.”