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Mischief Managed

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"Hammond." James May greeted his longtime friend and co-presenter into his motorhome. "I'm glad you could come."

"Well, I'm glad to be here. I was on my way to Jeremy's when you called." Richard Hammond said, walking up the steep stairs. "Oh, Hello."

Richard knew that James was working with someone he just didn't know until that very moment.

"Mr. Oz Clarke. It's good to see you again." Richard said, extending his hand to the wine expert.

"Richard, my old boy, how are you?" The older gentleman shook his hand.

"I'm fine, how about you?"

"Quite hammered as one would say." Oz laughed.

Richard side-eyed his friend for a quick moment before schooling his expression.

"Really? What did you guys drink? Have any more?" Richard asked, looking around the motorhome.

"Oh yes, would you like to try some of this garlic wine? It's actually quite good." He said, walking past them and towards the cabinet where various bottles laid.

"Garlic wine?" He grimaced. "T-that doesn't sound pleasant at all. May?"

"It is quite good, Hammond. Have a taste." Oz said, handing him a glass full of wine with a wide smile.

Richard gagged when he inhaled the aroma of the garlic wine. It was really really...garlicky. In as bad as a way possible.

"Are you sure this is consumable? I've only ever heard of it being used as a seasoning for food and such." He grimaced again when he caught another whiff.

"Stop being a baby, Hammond and drink it." May said, trying to hold back a grin.

This was going to be hilarious.

Richard whined and swished the wine around before tipping the glass onto his lips.

Oh god, this is awful. Don't breathe it in, Richard. Don't breathe it in and it'll be fifififi-

"Ooohhh God that is horrendous." He spat out.

Both of the men in the trailer fall backwards laughing their asses off as he ran to the sink and spit out the wine. They laughed even harder as he turned on the tap and began to wash his mouth out.

"Jesus Christ, that is awful, mate. Where did you guys get that?" Richard all but croaked out as the wine had burned his throat when he had swallowed some of it.

"Back at a little shop from Yorkshire." May crackled.

"Ugh, I can still taste it!" Richard grimaced.

"It does stay on your tongue for a while, doesn't it?" Oz continued laughing, clutching at his side.

"Why would you make me drink that? It's bloody awful."

"We know." May said, starting the laughing fest all over again.

Richard too couldn't resist cracking up so he joined in on the fun.

Once the laughing fest died down, May asked why Richard was on his way to see Jeremy.

"We're going over a few things for a program Jeremy wants to put on. Something about us going to Europe and things like that."

"To do what?" May asked, pouring Richard a glass of chardonnay they had gotten earlier.

"Jeremy said something about it being the "perfect road trip". Thank you kindly." Richard thanked the man when he gave him his glass.

"The perfect road trip? And the first thing he thought about was Europe."

"Europe." They said at the same time. "Yep and apparently we have to find at least two new cars. Why? I have no idea but I guess if we're going to France and Italy, I think I see his point. Who wants Italian horses in France?"

May couldn't help but roll his eyes. Jeremy's logic sometimes knows no bounds.

"So why did you ask me here anyway? To make me drink the atrocity?"

"Well frankly yes but no." May answered, pouring himself a glass of whiskey to which Hammond gave him a disapproving look but he didn't care. His alcoholism wasn't his business. Although he didn't drink whiskey very often.

"I called you here because I wanted to see you." May stepped up into his friend's space.


"I'm not drunk."

Richard sighed, combing his hands through his hair and biting his lip.

"I don't have any condoms." Richard whispered.

"We don't need any. You're on suppressants, aren't you?" May took another sip of his whiskey.

"Of course! But it's not exactly foolproof."

"So? It's not like we have anything. The only people we sleep with are inside our pack."

It was Richard's turn to roll his eyes. Yeah, that was true for them. But their wives and girlfriend may not have. But they were loyal.

"Alright. I suppose you want him to join as well." Richard gestured to Oz who was nursing a bowl of- Is that Captain Crunch?

"Don't be daft, of course not. He'll fall asleep sooner or later, he had quite a bit to drink today."

Richard looked at the wine expert with mild interest. The older gentleman was a beta like their Mr. James May. While he himself was an omega. It was a "balanced" combination within their packs. One alpha, various betas, and a lone omega. Balanced meaning having one of each secondary gender.

Richard took out his phone when it vibrated in his back pants pocket.

Jezza: Where are you Hamster?

"It's Jeremy."

"Tell him you'll be a while."

Richard: With May. Will be a while.

A few seconds later, Jeremy replied:

Jezza: Don't take all day. My creative juices are bounding to get out.

Richard groaned. He was going to be over there until the crack of dawn. When Jeremy got in his creative mood, he couldn't stop until he was bone tired and almost passing out from exhaustion. He prayed that Andy Wilman, their producer and another longtime friend, was going to be there to help rein it in. If not, Richard was going to have to suffer alone.

"Jezza in one of his moods again?"


"I don't envy you."

"Me either." He pouted. He turned around to see if the older beta was still asleep. And he was.

"Come 'ere." May growled lowly, pulling him in by the waist.

"Puppy!" He squeaked out the nickname as their bodies pressed against each other.

"Must you call me that?" May whispered into his ear before kissing behind his ear and down the side of his neck.

Puppy was a common nickname for omegas to call beta males in a pack.

"Yes because that is what you are, Puppy." He moaned softly, baring his neck to the beta.

"Mm. Do you always taste so sweet?"

"Only when you're being good to me." Richard carefully sat the wine glass down onto the countertop before wrapping his hands around James' neck.

"No no, I mean really sweet." May drew back slightly with a frown. "Are you going into heat?"

Richard took a moment to reflect on his cycle history. His last heat was what.. 3 months ago. He still had a month or two left before his next.

"It's probably the chardonnay." He reasoned, pulling May back towards him.

May shrugged and continued to ravish Hammond with kisses and nibbles along his neck and over his collarbone.

"Bedroom." May said, pulling the omega along to the back of the Monaco motorhome.

Once they were there, he helped Hammond out of his clothes and pulled him on the bed before removing his own.

"God, I'm lucky." May breathed as he stared at the shivering omega sprawling out on his bed.

"Close the door." Hammond told the other who just closed the door as if not remembering that there was someone sleeping in the main room or just not caring at all.


"Oh please, Hammond. It's not like we haven't done it in front of company before."

"James." Richard groaned, throwing an arm over his face as the embarrassment and shame set in. He didn't mean for the whole crew to walk in on them like they did. When he had texted: Room # with a 🚨, it was meant to mean there was some kind of problem. So when he texted he many hours prior and the crew had gotten those many hours later, they practically barged into his seeing them..well, making love. Admittedly this wasn't the first time it happened (because he went into his first heat since his car accident while they were in Botswana and there wasn't any hotels or well-equipped hospitals around to take care of an unmated omega in heat so they had to "improvise". Jeremy packmated Hammond, leading to Hammond doing the same to James, making them an official pack) but that didn't change the fact that he didn't want to make the other man uncomfortable. Oz seemed pretty laidback but who would want the scent and feeling of sweat, sex, and their bodly fluids on their clean linens.

"Just lay back and relax." James instructed the omega before taking up from where he left off and working his way down Richard's body.

Once he was level with Hammond's angry cocklet he licked a hot thin streak over the head.

"Hnnnhh~ Fuck puppy." Richard gasped above him.

Richard arched harder and gripped on the sheets next to him when he took the whole head in his mouth. To add to the sensation he began to prod an index against the sickened pucker that was Hammond's asshole.

"So good." The omega moaned, untangling his hand from the sheets to grip into his pack member's hair.

James cursed, slick dribbling and trickling down his chin, pulling back to look at the fully-submitted person.

"You're going to kill me, you know." The omegas voice was shaky and low.

James sank down the slightly bigger than average cocklet until he couldn't take anymore in. He took as deep a breath as he could and began to orally pleasure his packmate.

Richard bit his lip to the point where he could taste his own blood as he tried to refrain from letting out any sounds that wanted to escape him.

"Huu, James~" He gasped as James' finger invaded his slick entrance and sank into him.

The sound squelching of the finger in him and May swallowing around him filled the air between them, making Hammond turn a bright red and breathless from how dirty it sounded.

The more fingers he added, the harder it got for Hammond to contain himself. He'd made it up to four before he let out a (hopefully soft) yowl for the beta.

May had already taken his mouth off of him by then and was working hickeys onto his inner thighs.

"So needy." The beta grumbled.

"Hnnnhh hnhh you would be too if you had four fingers up your ass." Richard huffed out. "Now c'mon I can't take it anymore."

May listened to the omega and sat up onto his haunches before dragging Hammond down to close the gap between their hips.

"You asked for it." May said, lining himself up.

"Please, Puppy~"

The beta didn't take any time waiting and just pressed himself inside to the hilt. He gasped as the omega's walls quaked and gripped around him at his sudden onslaught.

"Move. Move!" Richard commanded, locking his ankles behind the beta's back.

May had gotten the feeling that holding back wasn’t an option so he pistoned his hips forwards and began to fuck the omega as best he could into the mattress. The moans that left Hammond egged him on more than he’d like to say it did. The higher pitched they got, the more he was getting towards hitting that one spot that made the omega fall apart at the seams reducing the omega to his base submissive nature.

“No no don’t- Ahhhhh!” Richard cried as his orgasm hit him suddenly.

The sudden pressure of Hammond’s inner wall clenching and pulsating around had him going over the edge as well, painting the inside of the omega with thick hot, white ropes of his seed.

“Don’t take this the wrong way, May but that was kind of quick.”