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If x We x Got x Married

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“Hey, Killua? I have a question.” Gon's voice was quiet, like he wasn't sure whether Killua was awake or not. Killua rolled over, reaching down from Gon's bed to tap his hand to show he was listening. They'd squabbled over who would sleep in Gon's bed – Killua adamant that it was Gon's bed, so he should sleep in it, while Gon protested and held Killua's status as a guest in the air – but as always, it had ended in rock-paper-scissors, and so as always, Gon got his way. He'd considered suggesting they both sleep on the futon, but the last thing he'd wanted was to start another argument.

“What's up?”

Gon made a low humming noise, and Killua could see the faint light reflecting off his eyes. Gon was looking right at him, and for a second he wanted to pull the blankets over his head and hide from that gaze. It was embarrassing.

“I was thinking,” Gon's fingers curled into his shirt, gripping the fabric. “If we got married, w-”

Killua sat up so fast that he almost gave himself whiplash, half-falling off the mattress. His cheeks burned, and he was sure Gon could see it since they were staring right at one another. “Gon, are you serious? Wh-”

Killua, you didn't let me finish!” Fingers snatched at the leg of Killua's pants, and Gon's lips set in a determined scowl. “If-we-got-married, would you change your name or would I change mine?”

If,” Killua managed, sitting down on the futon with a thump, “For some reason we got married.” His face felt hot enough that it should have been its own light source. But then Killua realized he didn't have an answer, and he looked down at his feet in the darkness. Gon was waiting patiently, but too many thoughts were crowding into Killua's mind to come to any conclusion. Finally, he rested his chin in his hands and muttered, “I don't know. What do you think?”

Gon kicked at the futon below him as he spoke. “Well, I don't think Gon Zoldyck sounds very good. But I feel like your family would be really mad if you changed your last na-”

I'm taking your name,” Killua blurted out without thinking. Gon's words stuttered off, and suddenly they were both laughing, muffled snorts and giggles that they stifled with their hands. He finished the thought off with “If we got married.”

Yeah, yeah! If we got married. Then you'd be Killua Freecs.”

That sounds dumb.”

Maybe a little.”

I think it's okay though.” Killua paused, and then snorted out, “Killua Freecs,” and they were lost in laughter again, real, solid laughter that hurt their stomach muscles and threatened to bring tears to their eyes. It stopped when Mito knocked on the door to hush them, but by then they were in a heap on the futon, pressing their faces into the blankets and trying desperately not to burst into another fit of giggles. When Mito's footsteps had faded, they'd managed to calm down, and Killua's hand found Gon's to squeeze it.

Why were you thinking about that?”

Mm... well, I dunno. I guess I just thought, now you've met my mom. So if you meet Ging-”

Gon, you have to meet Ging first.”

I know, but when you meet Ging, you'll know my whole family.”

Killua let his cheek rest against the futon, wondering where Gon was going with this line of thought. Sometimes the other boy's brain worked in ways that made no sense to him. “And?”

Well... I just sort of figured, Mito-san really likes you and so if we got married she'd be like your mom too. So you'd have two moms, and when one mom is mad at you, you could just go visit the other mom for a break.”

Killua bit down on his lip to keep from laughing, and Gon's hand clapped over his mouth to silence him. “Shhh! I said you could go visit another mom, but right now if Mito-san gets mad we'll both be in trouble. And I can't go visit your mom, she doesn't like me at all.”

Yeah, but,” Killua began as soon as Gon let him speak, “If we got married, we'd have to do stuff married people do. Like holding hands, and k... kissing, and, you know, that sort of thing. Would you be okay with doing that stuff with me?”

Killua, you're holding my hand right now,” Gon said pointedly, flipping his palm over under Killua's so that their fingers could lace together. Killua tried to yank his hand away in embarrassment, but Gon was holding tight now. “And if you wanted to I could kiss you. I think Killua is the only one I would kiss anyway, besides Mito-san. I could do that when we get married. And I would do other stuff with you, not just kissing. Stuff couples do.”

... oh.” Killua went silent, just wiggling his fingers against Gon's as he thought. It felt sort of right, the way their hands fit together. Gon's fingers were shorter and wider than his, so his fingers stretched to fit between them, and it was sort of awkward and mismatched, but wasn't that just like them? “When we get married, do you think Ging will come? What if he doesn't like me?”

He didn't know when the phrasing had changed from “if” to “when”.

I don't know. If he doesn't like you, then he's not invited and I don't want him to be there.” Something seemed to occur to Gon at that moment, and he sniffed a little. “Hey, Killua. W... would you be mad if I said I didn't want your brother to come?”

Illumi's not allowed at our wedding,” Killua said immediately. His hand shook a little, betraying how nervous the question made him. “He's not allowed. I just...” His words faltered and his voice was a whisper as the truth came out. “I don't know if I could keep him from showing up and ruining everything.”

I'll fight him if he does.” There was no hesitation in Gon's response. His fingers tightened around Killua's. “I'll make him leave so he can't hurt you.”

They didn't continue that topic. The wound was too fresh. Instead, he rubbed his thumb over Gon's, and thought about marrying Gon and having a house with Gon, going to sleep with Gon every night and waking up with him in the morning.

He thought he could live with that.

 

Killua laughed suddenly, soft chuckles that shook his chest. Gon's arms around his middle tightened, their legs twined together under the blankets. “What, what is it?”

Remember the first time I stayed at your house? Back when we first found the save card for Greed Island.”

Gon's cheek nuzzled against the back of his neck before he answered. His foot found Killua's leg, rubbing against it absent-mindedly. “Yeah. I don't think I could forget that.” It had been fourteen years ago, but the memory was still there, fuzzy with nostalgia.

Do you remember the first time we slept together on the futon?”

Gon's motion against him stilled, and then he laughed too. “I still think Gon Zoldyck sounds kind of dumb. I would have done it for you, though.”

I would have been Killua Freecs if you asked.”

They both laughed at that, laying there in the darkness together. It still sounded ridiculous.

"We never did get married, though, did we,” Killua mused, though it wasn't regretful. “I feel like we were so sure we would. But it means Illumi couldn't ruin the wedding.”

We could still get married,” Gon replied easily, kissing his neck. “If you want to get married.”

Killua reached for Gon's hand, their fingers intertwining automatically. It was still mismatched, never a perfect fit, but always right. “I don't think it's something we need to do. We're living, together, right now. That's what I wanted.”

Yeah.” Gon sighed, his breath tickling against Killua's skin. “It's what I wanted too. Being able to see you every morning. Even if you always burn breakfast and your feet are always cold.”

Even though you wake up too early every day and you forget to put the milk away so it goes bad.”

Even though you punched my dad in the face and broke his nose.”

Your dad deserved it.”

Yeah, he did. I don't hold it against you.”

In the end, I think he liked me.”

Probably. I know I do.” Gon squeezed his palm, the way he had all those years ago. “I love you, Killua.”

Yeah. I love you too, Gon.”