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Allow Me to Serenade You

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Allow Me to Serenade You

“Who the fuck sings in crowded parks?” Luhan says loudly, half throwing himself across the couch to grab a handful off popcorn from Sehun’s lap as their weekly movie plays on the shitty television. They are all, once again, as they are every Thursday, crammed into the small apartment of Baekhyun and Yixing, crowded on or around the second hand couch, drunk, and watching stupid movies while making really uncalled for commentary.

“It’s Enchanted,” Yixing says, trying to push Luhan off of where he is sprawled on top of his and Baekhyun’s lap. “Nothing is too outlandish.”

“I consider full sequenced dance numbers in public venues completely unnecessary,” Baekhyun says, watching lazily as Luhan rolls back into his spot of slouching against the armrest. “Just kiss and get over it.”

“I like you,” Yixing says, turning to his boyfriend and smiling down.

“I know,” Baekhyun says, smirking back before kissing him softly.

“Public zone!” Luhan yells, kicking at the couple without taking his eyes off the screen and shoving a handful of popcorn into his mouth. “Why is there no more beer?”

“Because you drank it all,” Wufan drawls from the armchair. Tao is sitting on the floor beside him and looking far too enthralled in the movie to really pay attention to his elders at the moment. “And the rest of us have been horribly sober and extremely tolerant of you.”

“Shut up and watch the damn movie!” Sehun snaps, eyes flashing to Tao who is frowning slightly as he leans towards the television to hear better.

“No!” Luhan snaps back and throws popcorn at his roommate and friend. The vast majority of the popcorn doesn’t make the trip successfully and lands on Baekhyun, who frowns at Luhan disapprovingly.

“Do you think you could legit get someone to fall in love with you by singing to them like they do in these cheesy movies?” Tao asks from where he’s seated.

“Nothing is impossible,” Wufan says, smiling faintly at the idea as he glances over at the other tall boy.

Luhan bursts into inebriated laughter. “That would be hysterical to watch.”

“You should do it,” Baekhyun says, smirking as he turns to look at Luhan. “I mean, not that you could pull it off or-“

“Hey, are you suggesting I couldn’t get someone to fall for me through the art of song?” Luhan snaps, shoving Baekhyun with his foot and frowning.

“No, just that you would never legitimately commit to it,” Yixing says, sideways glancing over to his friend as Baekhyun’s grin widens.

“Shut that, I totally could,” Luhan snaps, pushing himself up more and huffing. “Bring it on. I could totally get someone to go out with me through the magic of song.”

Yixing and Baekhyun exchange a look. “Okay,” Yixing says. “How’s this. You go around and sing to a person of our choice. You get them to date you, and you get $200.”

Everyone has mostly stopped watching the movie (even Tao) to look at Luhan with varying degrees of expectancy. Well, except Sehun, who is just frowning at him.

“You’re on,” Luhan says without skipping a beat and grins widely.

“Seriously?” Sehun says, eyebrows rising and as he looks at Luhan skeptically.

“Fuck yeah. Who wouldn’t want me following them around with serenades,” Luhan snorts out, going to grab for his last can of beer and instead smacking Minseok in the chair next to him. “Sorry Baozi!”

Minseok just sighs and shakes his head.

“Alright, awesome,” Yixing says, and leans forward, cutting off Sehun from vision and Luhan smirks. “Here’s the details then.”

“Pfft details,” Luhan snorts out before spreading out on the couch.

“Hey, if we’re putting $200 on the line, there are details,” Baekhyun shoots back, trying to elbow Luhan’s feet off his lap. “Do you ever sit like a normal human?”

“Are we considering him a normal human now?” Wufan asks from the chair as Tao turns his attention back to the movie.

“You have enough hands for two people,” Luhan shoots at Wufan. “You don't have the authority to judge others on normalcy.” Wufan just rolls his eyes in response. “Fine, so what are the details of you two loosing 200 smackers?”

“You can only communicate through song,” Yixing says, a smirk on his mouth. “No speaking and no hand gestures unless it’s dance.”

“Deal,” Luhan says, nodding and throwing out a hand to shake on it.

“And it cannot be your own improvised songs,” Baekhyun adds, finally giving up on shoving Luhan legs off his lap and just resting his hands on them. “It has to be through legitimate song lyrics.”

“Done and done,” Luhan says, thrusting his hand perhaps a bit more forcefully than it necessary. “I am a musical genius anyway.”

“Luhan, are you sure you want t-“

“I’m more sure than anything ever,” Luhan cuts Sehun off, slurring slightly, before the younger can finish patronizing him. “You just wait. I’ll get this, um, whoever I’m seducing-“

“Kim Jongdae,” Baekhyun says immediately and Luhan finally looks at him fully, stilling with his mouth still open mid sentence.

Luhan makes something that may be words but probably isn’t come out of his mouth.

“What?” Yixing says, giving Luhan a sideways smirk. “Too much of a troll for even you to take on?”

Luhan scoffs as indignantly and exaggeratedly as he possibly can, making lots of raspberry sounds and trying to look completely uncommitted to deter from the legitimate stones that are now filling his gut instead of copious alcohol and popcorn snacks. Kim Jongdae, the kid Luhan sat next to last term in his art history class and teased incessantly just to get the other to look at him with those stunning eyes and amazing bone structure on a daily basis. Kim Jongdae, the kid who trolls around his own small friend group and has legs like no one else alive and a torso that seems to go on forever. Kim Jongdae, the kid that doesn’t ever really troll Luhan and who Luhan basically has severe emotional constipation for that he whines to Sehun for hours about.


“Are you nuts? Of course I can take that on,” Luhan scoffs, slapping Baekhyun in the chest and grabbing Yixing’s hesitantly offered hand. Sehun jolts forward on the couch to glare at him pointedly from around Yixing. Luhan pointedly ignores him and lets the alcohol do the talking for him. “I’ll have him in bed with me before you know it.”

“Luhan, I don't think you-“ Sehun starts but Baekhyun cuts him off.

“Excellent,” Baekhyun says, grinning as Yixing throws an arm around him and pulls him closer. “I can’t wait to see this.”

“You’re both going down,” Luhan says, finally settling back on the couch. “You two better cough up when this kid caves.”

“Hey,” says Jongin as he comes in, looking around with a few more packs of beer in hand. “What did I miss?”

“Lack of sobriety!” Luhan yells, vaulting off the couch and barreling to Jongin, seizing one of the six packs and ripping into it.

“Should he really be having more alcohol?” Jongin asks, looking at Luhan bemusedly.

“Probably not,” Minseok says, watching Luhan take a highly enthusiastic gulp of beer to try to settle the cobras that have morphed from the rocks in his stomach. “But does anyone really want to try to stop him at this point?” He turns belated to look at Wufan, who gives him a look.

“Do you really think I can stop him? Just because I’m taller than-“ Wufan tries but Luhan interrupts him.

“Get drunk, you asshats! I want to watch Giselle get with Dr. Feel Good!” Luhan yells, vaulting back onto the couch and shoving a beer at Sehun. “Drink, magnae. Your hyung demands it.”

“You’re going to regret this in the morning,” Sehun says to him pointedly, his eyebrows suggesting more than the alcohol.

“I regret nothing,” Luhan sing songs before turning back to the shitty television. “How do you knooooooow~?”


Luhan wakes up the next morning half on his bed, with socks on his hands, and a taste like a dead cat in his mouth accompanied with a splitting headache. He groans out ‘fuck’ before sliding off the bed painfully and into a pile of textbooks. “Ow!”

Sehun pauses as he walks back from the bathroom, tooth brush shoved in his mouth and gives Luhan a raised eyebrow look. “Good morning to you too.”

“Shut up,” Luhan says, waving a sock-clad hand at Sehun agitatedly. “You’re not allowed to be pleasant when I’m having a hangover.”

“Poor you,” Sehun says and smirks around his toothpaste. “It’s your own fault for guzzling down beer last night in an effort to get over the fact you made the stupidest bet in the world.”

Luhan blinks before sitting up. His head throbs but he doesn’t entire care, eyes wide as he remembers the bet with Baekhyun and Yixing. “Shit.”

“Yeah, see, I tried to tell you n-“ Sehun starts but stops when Luhan throws himself up and towards his computer desk, shaking the socks of his hands wildly. “What are you doing?”

“Music selection,” Luhan says, frowning through his headache as he opens his music library.

Sehun blinks before letting out a small laugh. “You can’t seriously be thinking of doing this.”

“I don’t have $200 to give up,” Luhan says, frowning as he scrolls through his massive music collection. “This is basically them paying me to serenade the kid I have super complexes for so he’ll go out with me. Plus, he’s a music major. He’d tots swoon if I sing to him.” Luhan pauses to look back at Sehun. “How is this faulty?”

Sehun frowns at him. “You’re an idiot,” he says before wandering back to the bathroom. “Why can’t you just tell Jongdae you like him instead? That works usually.”

Luhan snorts into his computer. “That shit never works in real life,” he says as Sehun wanders back into the room.

“Sure it does,” Sehun says, running a hand through his hair.

“Bull,” Luhan says, smiling as he comes by a few songs and drags them into a playlist.

“It worked for me last night,” Sehun says, and the tone is soft enough to tell Luhan that Sehun legitimately wants to tell him something but is super awkward about it.

Luhan stops and turns. “What?” Sehun blinks and his cheeks color as a smile creeps over his face. “Oh Sehun, what did you do last night? Did you molest Tao?”

“Wha- no!” Sehun says, and his face colors even more. “No, I just told him I like him.”

“Through the art of lisp?” Luhan asks, raising an eyebrow as Sehun glares. “Sorry,” Luhan says, and smiles apologetically.

“Anyway, yeah I told him I like him and we took a walk and now we’re dating.” Sehun says all of this very fast.

Luhan frowns at him. “Were there make outs?”

Sehun glowers at him. “Just tell Jongdae you like him. It worked for me and Tao.”

“Were there make outs?” Luhan repeats, more forcefully this time.

Sehun rolls his eyes. “Yes, there were make outs. I told Tao I like him as he walked me back and he thought I was drunk and I told him no, I just want to walk beside him instead of watching him take walks by himself. And he was cool with that.” Luhan lets out a whoop and punches the air in celebration of Sehun as the younger attempts to hide his blush and school his face into indifference. “See? It's simple.”

Luhan scoffs loudly, turning back to his computer. “You two are weird. Shit like that never happens in real life.”

“What?!” Sehun says, watching as Luhan gets up and shuffles towards the dresser and, consequently, the painkillers. “The whole point of this story was to illustrate that it does happen in real life, Luhan! And that you should not take this bet and just tell Jongdae you like him.”

“All this has proven to me is that you and Tao are weird,” Luhan shouts as he shoves painkillers into his mouth and scratches a hand through his hair. “Congratulations. I hope you two enjoy your weird love in your weird relationship with your weird sappy shit.”

“Why do I even bother?” Sehun sighs, wandering off to his connecting single.

“I don’t know,” Luhan calls after him as he once more crouches over his computer. “Which song is better? Jason Mraz ‘I’m Yours’ or Britney Spears ‘Hold It Against Me’?

“Neither!” Sehun yells back from his room. “Just tell him you like him!”

“I’ll take that to mean ‘Love You Madly’ by Cake then!” Luhan hollers and Sehun slams the door shut. Luhan sniffs as his entire body still feels sticky with post-drunk and picks up his phone. He’s going to need backup.


Monday morning arrives and there is nothing to suggest that the day will go less normally than usual. College students file in with relatively exhausted faces for the anthropology lecture at nine in the morning and sit at their chairs trying to look more alive than they feel. A few of them have even bothered to put on real pants where some don't look like they even paused between getting out of bed and walking here.

Kim Jongdae sits in the fourth row back, textbook sitting on his desk and a steaming tumbler of coffee sitting between his hands as he tries to wake himself up. Beside him, Wufan is sitting at his desk, arms folded over his chest and mouth half open as he is clearly asleep behind his faux glasses. Jongdae quietly takes Wufan’s books and hides them in one of the nearby desks.

The professor walks in and the class attempts to rally to attention, some of them more successful than others. Wufan snorts to consciousness, looking around in mild confusion before looking down and seeing all of his stuff missing. He glares and looks over at Jongdae who is politely watching the teacher explain organ donation. Jongdae shoots him a bemused look before telling him quietly he’ll let him borrow his notes later.

Wufan frowns more and proceeds to spend the next five minutes trying to find his things before finally locating them and swearing under his breath at Jongdae, who hides his amusement in his coffee.

At 9:17, the door at the back of the large classroom opens and the kid Jongdae sat next to in Art History last semester, Xiao Luhan, comes walking in with about as much strut as a peacock, followed by an apologetic looking boy Jongdae recognize as Kim Minseok. Luhan isn’t in this class. And Minseok is carrying what is unmistakably a mini stereo.

The professor stumbles to a halt, watching the pair stop by the fourth row where Luhan stands, looking directly at Jongdae with a serious expression.

“Um, I don’t kno-“ the professor begins but Luhan makes a strange sort of gesture to Minseok and Minseok picks up an ipod and apparently presses play because the next second Justin Bieber is blaring and Luhan is clearly singing.

At Jongdae.

In the middle of an anthropology lecture.

“For you I’d write a symphony and tell the violins it’s time to sink or swim, watch ‘em play for ya~” Luhan sings and Jongdae would like to admit that he has a nice voice but is a little preoccupied with the fact that Luhan is singing to him in the middle of an anthropology lecture and he has no clue why.

The entire lecture hall is completely silent as Luhan proceeds to not only sing but suddenly break out dancing towards Jongdae and Jongdae seriously feels like his entire body has gone into shock.

This has to be some sort of horrible joke.

“What are you doing?” Jongdae croaks out, starting as Luhan hops onto one of the chairs closer to Jongdae and does a small body roll.

“I JUST NEED SOMEBODY TO LOOOOOOVE!” Luhan belts out, pointing directly at Jongdae . Minseok stands awkwardly holding the speakers and Jongdae stares in horror as Luhan proceed to completely jam out at him. Jongdae turns haltingly to look at Wufan, who looks a mix between horrified and amused. It is not an expression his face takes very well.

Jongdae turns back to look at Luhan. Luhan is now back beside Minseok and dancing enthusiastically. “Seriously, what are you doing?”

“And you can have it all!” Luhan sings, pausing in the dance break to point dramatically at Jongdae. “Anything you want. I can bring, give you the finer things, yeah~!”

“Excuse me, but this is a class-“ the anthropology professor tries again, walking over to Luhan who dances away from her and back to Jongdae.

“I just need somebody to love!” Luhan sings again, picking up Jongdae’s coffee tumbler and attempting to use it as a microphone.

Jongdae’s coffee tumbler is still, incidentally, filled with coffee. Said coffee proceeds to, as soon as Luhan attempts to improvise a microphone, pour down the front of his shirt and he lets out a loud yelp, finally stopping his singing. Jongdae frowns and colors, standing up and snatching his tumbler from Luhan as half the class seems to register and starts laughing. His anthropology professor does not look pleased. “Would you stop?!” Jongdae snaps as Luhan tries to wince away from the scalding coffee now seeping through his shirt.

Minseok shuts off the music.

Luhan tries to fan his shirt and stumbles backwards over an empty desk.

Jongdae is severely confused. And probably forever mortified.

Jongdae’s professor is extremely annoyed as Luhan picks himself up smiling sheepishly at her before turning back to Jongdae.

“Hey boy, doncha know, I got something going on~” Luhan starts, and Jongdae briefly realizes he’s singing Christina Aguilera before Jongdae’s professor is whapping Luhan over the head with her copy of ‘Dark Harvest’ and Luhan yelps again, scuttling away. Beside him, Wufan manages to keep himself together until the door closes after Kim Minseok and then bursts into explosive extremely unattractive laughter that has Jongdae staring at him in relative degrees of horror.


“So,” Sehun says, walking from Luhan’s bathroom, toweling his hair and giving Luhan an expectant look. “How did it go?”

“I think it was successful,” Luhan says from where he is hunched over his computer.

Sehun raises an eyebrow. “Define successful.”

“He didn’t punch me in the face?” Luhan offers, glancing behind his shoulder at Sehun, who blinks.

“That would be one way of defining successful,” Sehun says. “How long before you got kicked out?”

“Well, I got through the bridge before being sabotaged by coffee and the professor,” Luhan says, turning back to his computer. “I’m thinking of Bruno Mars next.”

Sehun sniffs. “Or you could do what normal people do and just tell Jongdae you like him.”

“I am offended you would ever consider to classify me with normal people,” Luhan says, scrolling through his music library. “That is offensive to both myself and them.”

“You would save yourself a lot of work,” Sehun points out as he walks to his room.

“This is dedication,” Luhan says, grinning as he finds a song. “It shows that I can commit.”

“You-“ Sehun cuts himself off with a sigh. “I’m not even going to bother arguing with you.” He walks into his room, dragging his towel over his shoulder.

“Do you think Yixing would let me borrow his ukulele?” Luhan calls after him and Sehun slams his door closed.


Thursday finds the campus café crowded as per usual around two in the afternoon with students, a few faculty, and an unnecessary amount of caffeine. Kim Jongdae sits with his friend and fellow classmate Do Kyungsoo at one of the many tables going over their ethnomusicology notes on Hindi music. It’s something they usually do before the afternoon class where Kyungsoo constantly prods Jongin in the side to keep him awake. Jongdae has a regular coffee while Kyungsoo is sipping on a large strawberry banana smoothie, pouring over Kathakali Performance styles.

They’re just going over the tempos and a few of the play excerpts when the dulcet tones of a ukulele brings a relative hush over the café. Jongdae pauses, coffee half way to his mouth, and turns to find the source of distraction. He doesn’t have to look far, considering Luhan is sashaying over to him, ukulele in his hands as he fumbles with chords and smiles broadly. Jongdae’s face pales as Kyungsoo’s eyes bug beside him.

Luhan grins endearingly as he doesn’t really play the proper chords and sways his hips to the tune. “Don’t you worry, there my honey, we might not have any money, but we’ve got our love to pay the bills~” Luhan sings and Jongdae exchanges a swift somewhat terrified look with Kyungsoo before Luhan swings around and props a foot up on an empty chair and leans over Jongdae, still playing the ukulele like he’s only just learned the damn thing two days ago.

“Really, this wasn’t a one time thing?” Jongdae asks, face heating and coloring as Luhan sways. “Why are you doing this?”

Luhan just grins wider. “Maybe I think you’re cute and funny. Maybe I wanna to do what bunnies do with you-“ Jongdae is pretty sure Luhan would keep singing but Kyungsoo has chosen that exact moment to explode smoothie all over Luhan in reaction to the lyrics he has just produced. Luhan sputters to a halt as Kyungsoo coughs violently and Jongdae jerks away, wincing at the bits of fruit pulp covering some of his face and coating Luhan’s entire left side.

“Somebody call 9-1-1,” Luhan sing-yells after a moment and backs up, grabbing a few napkins and attempting to clean himself, shooting a disapproving look at Kyungsoo before an apologetic look to Jongdae. Jongdae barely has time to respond before Luhan is practically on him, trying to wipe him down and he immediately tries to scramble away.

“What- no, get off!” Jongdae manages to say as the entire café is now staring at the exchange. “What are you even doing?”

“I’ll tell you what I want, what I really really want,” Luhan suddenly sings, still trying to wipe Jongdae’s face with a napkin.

Jongdae sputters, trying to bat Luhan’s hands away as his face flares. “So, tell me what you want, what you really, really want!” he shouts back and Luhan pauses, apparently stunned, before his face cracks in a jubilant smile.

“I want nobody, nobody but you!” Luhan belts and Jongdae nearly falls out of his chair as Luhan launches himself at Jongdae and attempts to tackle him. Jongdae lets out a squawk as he tries to fling himself out of the way and manages to scramble away as Luhan ends up sprawled on the floor.

“Is this some sort of prank?” Jongdae half croak - half squeaks as Luhan tries to push himself up.

Luhan seems to have a wild moment if internal silent panic before he’s suddenly belting “You can run, you can hide, but you can’t escape my love!” and Jongdae lets out a terrified yell as Luhan lunges, scrambling to his feet and bolting out the door with Luhan hot on his trail. Kyungsoo just holds his smoothie in his hands and stares with wide eyes at the still slightly swinging doors. He looks around the café, which is all staring, before letting out a small little laugh, grabbing his and Jongdae’s books, and scurrying out the door as well.


When Luhan returns Yixing his ukulele, which still has a few traces of strawberry bits on it, Yixing socks him in the face as Baekhyun huffs and tells him he should have accepted their help when they offered it. Luhan pinches Baekhyun’s neck before Yixing bats him away and repeats the process. Baekhyun seems much more receptive towards his boyfriend than Luhan when the action is performed.

Luhan supposes he should be glad of this, considering Baekhyun is blowing on the back of Yixing’s neck a few minutes later and Yixing just turns around and nips him at his hairline, eliciting a weird sort of moan that has Luhan chucking a handful of grapes at them from the kitchen table. “Indecency!” Luhan yells as Yixing nuzzles into Baekhyun with a purr and Baekhyun flat out giggles. “My god, I’m scarred every time I see you two interact. You are not broadcasting porn.”

“We could be,” Yixing says, smirking as he rests his head on Baekhyun’s shoulder before drawing away. “How’d it go? Did you get him yet?”

“I need song suggestions,” Luhan says instead of answering and Baekhyun raises an eyebrow. Luhan snorts at him. “Ingrid wasn’t direct enough. Apparently her lyrics are vague.”

“I told you to sing ‘Discovery Channel’ and just get it over with,” Baekhyun says as he grabs his history book from the counter and wanders over to the living room.

“Too forward for a beginning song,” Luhan scoffs out, nudging past Baekhyun and hurling himself over and onto the couch, smirking as Baekhyun huffs at the loss of space.

“You’re singing at him,” Yixing points out, wandering over and plopping down in the armchair, beckoning to Baekhyun. Baekhyun smirks and sprawls out on the floor, giving a coy smile to his lover and Yixing pokes his tongue out at him. Luhan rolls his eyes as Yixing turns back to him. “I don’t think you could get more forward than that.”

Luhan frowns. “I’m not sure he really gets it yet.”

“Get’s what? That you want into his pants and are telling him through the art of song?” Yixing scoffs out, leaning back in his chair. “I still am shocked you are actually doing this. You must really not have 200 bucks.”

Luhan snorts and snatches Yixing’s laptop from the coffee table, opening up his music library instead of answering. Yixing and Baekhyun don’t need to know this isn’t entirely about the bet… or getting Jongdae into bed. Though that would be an added initial perk to his success. What they don’t know won’t hurt them.

“Do either of you speak Japanese?”

Baekhyun and Yixing exchange a raised look.


Kim Jongdae, when he had been given the choice of a language requirement for college, had chosen to take Chinese and spent the vast majority of his Freshman year frowning at Chinese characters and being prodded awake by Wufan. Jongdae didn’t really appreciate Wufan being in his class because Wufan already spoke Chinese fluently and was apparently just taking the course because it was easy credit. He would rub this in Jongdae’s face every class as the teacher praised his paperwork. Jongdae would thus use every opportunity to ruin Kris’ reputation as a star student by pointing out his chicken scratch handwriting and other small imperfections.

But the main point is that Jongdae’s linguistic skills remained primarily in his native language, the English he had learned through rigorous tutoring in school before university, and the marginal Chinese he remembers.

Kim Jongdae does not really understand any Japanese aside from ‘konnichi wa’ and ‘arigatou.’ And even those he’s not entirely sure of the meaning sometimes.

Luhan doesn’t entirely seem to be deterred from this as he burst immediately into song as soon as Jongdae leaves his dorm, book bag swung over his shoulder and freezing as 2PM blasts out of Minseok’s speakers.

At least Jongdae can kind of get the gist of the song, considering the only English contained in the lyrics is “I’m you man~” which Luhan keeps emphatically gesturing to as if he’s having severe chest pains before butchering whatever the Japanese lyrics are supposed to be.

Jongdae is already running late for his Music Theory class and really doesn't have time for this. Luhan apparently doesn’t care as he cuts off all of Jongdae’s escape attempts and dances around with jerking steps and flippant motions in the black suit he has somehow pulled out from what appears to be a very extensive wardrobe.

“Please go away!” Jongdae finally snaps out as Luhan tries to grab his hand and pull him to dance with him, still singing.

“I’m your man, Please believe me~ Please be with me,” Luhan serenades at him and Jongdae’s patience snaps.

“NO!” he shouts, writhing from Luhan’s gasps and skittering away, feeling that panic bubble in his throat where his heart would be if he had any clue as to what has turned Luhan into a complete raving lunatic. He pauses, bottom lip clenched between his teeth as Luhan flaps a hand at Minseok and the music stops. Luhan is breathing quickly and looking at Jongdae with his eyes bright.

It’s really distracting from how completely ridiculous all of this is.

“Seriously, is this a joke or something?” Jongdae asks hesitantly, adjusting his book bag and thinking about how late he probably is for class. “Did Wufan put you up to this? Or are you legitimately insane?”

Luhan’s eyes light up and he seems to latch onto what Jongdae has just said. He pants two more times before striking a pose and belting “You make me go insane, you give me so much pain, I won’t be back aga~ No!” Luhan falters and Jongdae just stares, eyes wide. Luhan spits a few sounds and seems like he wants to swear but doesn’t.

“Okay, well, I have class so-“ Jongdae turns and makes to walk away but Luhan suddenly seems to come alive again and lurches after him. Jongdae figures a legitimate reaction is to break into a sprint because Luhan looks certifiably crazy as he suddenly starts scream-singing “Kajima kajima sorichyeo!” and Jongdae yells back “Go away!” which just ends up with half of the campus pausing and watching as the two sprint across the grounds until Luhan eventually has an unfortunate encounter with a pole and Jongdae dodges away like some sort of demented zebra looking absolutely hysteric.


“I need back up,” Luhan says into the phone and can hear Chanyeol fumble with his cell. Sehun sighs, pushing himself from where he’s been seated beside Luhan and pressing an ice pack into his face.

“You need my help with Jongdae?” Chanyeol asks, and sounds a little too eager to be of assistance. Luhan waves off Sehun as the younger tries to get him to keep the ice against his bruised jaw. “What do you need?”

“I want to do something that requires a rap,” Luhan says as Sehun gives up and instead topples to the floor next to Tao, who has been watching Luhan in concern, fingers twitching to try to help but refraining from doing so at Sehun’s direction. “Interested?”

“I like rapping!” Chanyeol sounds far too enthusiastic. Luhan doesn’t entirely care though, considering he just needs someone. Wufan had laughed in his face for a full minute when Luhan had asked him and Sehun had said no before Luhan had even got past the first syllable. Luhan hadn’t even bothered asking Jongin.

“Good!” Luhan half yells into the phone and Tao glances at Sehun before looking back at Luhan apprehensively. “Can you come over tomorrow and we can work out details?”

“Sure!” Chanyeol agrees really, really fast to stuff. “Also, is this like a prank everyone thing? I kind of want to do one!”

Luhan stares at his dresser for a moment before snorting. “Sure, why not. You scratch my back, I’ll scratch yours.”

“Um,” Chanyeol says, low voice oddly quiet on the line. “I don’t really need my back scratched but-“

“Be here tomorrow! Bring scotch tape and your most gangster swag!” Luhan yells before disconnecting and throwing himself from the bed towards his closet and wrenching it open.

“Did he really hit his head that badly on the pole?” Tao asks slightly hesitantly as Sehun puts an arm around him.

“No,” Sehun says, sighing as he watches Luhan try on all of his baseball caps before flinging them away and dragging on a super baggy sweatshirt and striking a pose most black people would sob at. “He’s just finally degraded into the insanity that was always inevitable.”

“Oh,” says Tao as Luhan tries to go for a super swag face and ends up wincing as the bruise on his face is aggravated.


Luhan considers later that perhaps choosing a song which consists primarily of rap in English, which is not his primary language nor his musical strength, was not the wisest decision on his part. Especially since Chanyeol seems to dominate the majority of the song and gets a little too carried away with his gangster pimping and ends up punching a student in the face accidentally as he swaggers around the music room.

Jongdae looks absolutely petrified. Which is understandable considering Chanyeol is often terrifying anyway and is far more into the song than Luhan is and that’s really saying something.

Luhan tries anyway.

“Beautiful boys! All over the world, I could be chasing but my time would be wasted. They got nothing on you, babe, nothing on you~” Luhan sings as best he can, trying to keep Jongdae’s attention on him and not on Chanyeol as he apologizes profusely to Kyungsoo after punching him in the side of the head.

“Jesus Christ!” Jongdae finally yells, standing up from his desk and leaning into Luhan, face set. And then Jongdae opens his mouth and sings back, “Your mind’s in disturbia! It’s like the darkness is the light. Your mind’s in disturbia! You know you’re scaring me tonight!”

Luhan is jubilant. Minseok appropriately has shut off the music and looks appropriately suffering. As per usual. “Well, I may be bad but I’m perfectly good at it!” Luhan immediately sings back and leans closer to Jongdae, smiling in delight and Jongdae’s face flushes as he recognizes the song.

“No!” Jongdae yells, jerking back.

“Come on! Come on!” Luhan yips, bouncing after Jongdae as he stumbles around the classroom. “I like it, like it! Come on! Come on!” He stops and strikes a pose. “I can show you the world~” he ballads and Jongdae swings around, hands clenched on a chair between them.

“I don’t want to see it!” Jongdae snaps back and Luhan grins, feigning a few times and dodging around the chair to Jongdae, who attempts to hide behind Kyungsoo as Chanyeol booms out a laugh, slapping his knees in amusement and face going lopsided.

“I want your loving and I want your revenge, you and me could write a bad romance!” Luhan sings and Kyungsoo just stares as Jongdae trips over his own feet. Their professor finally seems to snap out of his shock and smacks Luhan against the back of the head with a recorder, sending him face first into a desk and successfully knocking him out.

“Why is he doing this?” Jongdae wheezes, looking very distraught.

“I think he likes you!” Chanyeol says, grinning cheerily at Jongdae as the professor tries to see if Luhan is actually dead or not.

“What?!” Jongdae squawks, staring down at Luhan. “So he tells me by stalking me with song? And I thought last semester was bad with him constantly harassing me in art history. This is terrifying.”

Kyungsoo frowns before looking back at Jongdae, eyes calculating. “You kind of liked the teasing though,” he points out and Jongdae’s entire face colors as he sputters.

“That’s besides the point!” Jongdae yelps as Chanyeol spasms in laughter again.


Chanyeol was apparently serious when he had suggested doing his own music number. Luhan, now with a huge bruise on his cheek and an ego filled with spite, agrees to help him with his own stupid plan. Chanyeol decides that he wants to, of all people, sing to Wufan. Because he figures Wufan would have no idea how to react to someone signing to him and could afford to loosen up. That, and Chanyeol thinks he’s made of amazing. Luhan doesn’t question this, just enthusiastically shoves Flo Rida songs at Chanyeol and tells him to “hurry the fuck up and choose something” while internally cackling because nothing Flo Rida sings ever makes sense anyway. Nor is it ever romantic or appropriate.

Chanyeol, though Luhan had really been in favor of ‘Whistle,’ chooses ‘Right Round’ and gives Luhan the role of Ke$ha with a delighted smile. Luhan doesn’t even bother protesting being given the role of a crack whore and instead calls Minseok and informs him of their new plan.

Luhan waltzes into Wufan’s calculus class with Chanyeol and Minseok grinning deviously, waiting in anticipation for Chanyeol to fail as much as he has been lately with Jongdae. His smile turns vile half way through the song when Wufan miraculously smiles like an idiot and claps his hands, even going so far as to get up and start making approving hand dance gestures with Chanyeol and singing along with him. He looks so goddamn pleased and amused Luhan wants to kick the desk.

Luhan does kick the desk.

Luhan now has a bruised face, a bruised foot, and a bruised ego.

Wufan apparently doesn’t give a shit that Chanyeol is the most awkward being on the planet and cannot properly pronounce most English words because Wufan apparently thinks Chanyeol is made of butterflies and likes him anyway. Well, at least that’s what Luhan assumes from the way he loosens up like a fiend at Chanyeol’s stupid laugh and wraps an arm around Chanyeol’s waist to pull him close, making Chanyeol stumble over all of the next words and just glow like a nuclear explosion.

Luhan hates everything because apparently he has chosen to like and attempt to serenade/seduce the only person on campus who does not respond positively to this kind of behavior.


“You know, you can still just tell Jongdae you like him like a normal person,” Sehun points out as Luhan storms into his room, interrupting him and Tao as they snuggle and watch some weird historical sappy drama.

“Honestly, I’m sure Jongdae would be fine if you just tell him you like him,” Tao says, his soft voice kind as he watches Luhan pace in agitation.

“No,” Luhan says, shaking his head vigorously before pausing, head snapping up to Tao. “Hey, he’s your RA, right?”

Tao blinks and his face pales slightly. He flashes a look to Sehun, who is watching him piteously. “Um, yeah. Jongin and I live on his floor.”

“Awesome!” Luhan crows. “You can spy on him. Is he dating anyone?”

Sehun gapes at him. “Shouldn’t you have figured this out earlier?”

“Details never matter, it’s the intention,” Luhan says, flapping a hand at Sehun.

“I give up. This has legitimately pushed you over the edge,” Sehun says, slumping into Tao, who strokes his hair affectionately. Sehun’s mouth turns up in a really obvious smile as he presses into Tao’s side. Tao gives Luhan a sympathetic smile as Luhan huffs and continues to pace.


The next song Luhan ends up springing on Jongdae is completely impromptu and on Wednesday as he spies Jongdae leaving the Art and Music complex while he leaves his own Political Science lecture. Jongdae has his coat hunched up and is flinching as rain pours down. Luhan, having remembered his own umbrella that morning, sprints towards him, splashing through puddles and whacking through students before he’s stuck to Jongdae’s surprised side.

“Wha- Luhan!” Jongdae looks surprised and then apprehensive and then very confused.

Luhan grins brightly at him before putting up his umbrella over both of them and pressing closer to Jongdae’s stunned side. “You can stand under my umbrella, you can stand under my umbrella, ella, ella, eh, eh, eh~” Luhan sings brightly and Jongdae’s eyes widen briefly before he suddenly snorts and then bursts into laughter. Luhan grins, watching as Jongdae’s awkward laugh rings around him and sends a few pleasant pangs into his chest and the rocks in his stomach bump about happily.

“Now that’s just cheesy,” Jongdae says, finally seeming to pull himself under control and turning to smile slightly at Luhan. Luhan grins wider.

“It’s raining, raining,” Luhan sings back and Jongdae’s face winkles in a nervous smile, soft laugh coughing up from his throat. “Ooh baby, it’s raining, raining. Baby you can come into me, come into me.”

“I liked you better just singing about umbrellas,” Jongdae says, shuffling away slightly but Luhan snaps an arm around his shoulder, pulling him close and out of the way of rain. Jongdae turns startled eyes at him.

Luhan just smiles before pushing forward and Jongdae stumbles for a moment before falling into step beside him. “I’m going the distance~” Luhan speak-sings. “I’m going for speed, You’re all alone, all alone in a time of need.”

Jongdae laughs awkwardly again and Luhan can’t help but feel an immense sense of accomplishment.


“Sehun!” Luhan explodes, bursting into his room without really caring what Sehun might be doing or who he might be with. Fortunately, Sehun is just sitting with Tao and playing video games.

Sehun looks up in vague shock. “What?”

“Sing Far East Movement with me!” Luhan says, grinning widely. “I am almost at success.”

Sehun blinks. “Get Chanyeol to do it,” he says, before turning back to the game as Tao continues to whoop his ass in Super Smash Brothers, tongue stuck cutely out of the side of his mouth.

“Chanyeol is too busy flapping his hands at Wufan,” Luhan pouts, toeing Sehun in the side of the head. “Rap the rap for ‘Rocketeer’. You like that song, right?”

“I don’t want to rap your stupid seduction medley!” Sehun whines, frowning as Luhan’s toe pokes him in the nose. “As someone else. Ask Jongin!”

“Jongin’s useless. He’ll just fall asleep half way though it!” Luhan whines. “Tao, you rap. You do it!”

Tao nearly drops the controller as Luhan lunges into both of the younger boys laps and looks up at them. Sehun rolls his eyes as Tao stares in relative degrees of surprise. “Um-“ says Tao.

“Say no,” says Sehun.

“You’re mean!” says Luhan and rolls to squish both of them.


Luhan ends up scrapping a second attempt at rapping as he chalks it up to the excuse that Jongdae will probably judge him for his lack of creativity and therefore be less receptive to his efforts. He chooses One Direction instead.

This turns out to be a much better decision on Luhan’s part as Jongdae’s music and performance professor appears to have a bit of a fangirl thing for One Direction as soon as Luhan begins and claps along as Jongdae tries to hide in his chair and Kyungsoo just glares in disapproval. Luhan however is delighted, because somewhere from under his text on traditional Chinese music, Jongdae is possibly blushing and that is definitely progress.

It also causes over confidence, as Luhan finds it appropriate to leap up on to one of the desks and attempt complicated choreography that should not be executed on faulty college furniture. It also seems that the professor does not approve of her class being taken advantage of as Luhan attempts to drag Jongdae from his chair and into his arms.

“So get out, get out, get out of my head! And fall into my arms instead~” is deemed irrelevant as an effective invitation as Jongdae, rather than complying with the song lyrics, hits Luhan over the head with his music text.

Luhan gives the book significant credit and really hopes that it has enough valuable material to warrant it’s monstrous size.

Luhan is kicked out first. Followed by Minseok and then finally Minseok’s portable speakers.

Minseok turns withering eyes to Luhan as the elder pants for air, feeling proud at his well executed dance routine and the reaction from Jongdae.

“So, that probably could have gone better,” Minseok says and Luhan snorts, rubbing a hand through his hair and completely messing up the hour he had spent perfectly constructing it.

“Are you kidding? Did you see his face?” Luhan says breathlessly.

Minseok frowns. “Not really, he was kind of trying to burrow into his desk.

Luhan smiles and feels determination light anew in his chest along with that now ever present pull that he’s just come to accept as an aspect of Jongdae’s existence at this point. “He was blushing. And possibly trying not to smile,” Luhan says and Minseok sighs at the victorious gleam in Luhan’s eyes.


“We’re postponing stupid movie night!” Luhan announces as he barges into Baekhyun and Yixing’s apartment, already an hour late for the usual movie viewing and half drunk, computer under his arm and determined glint in his eye as the group in the living room all turns and looks at him. Only Kyungsoo, an apparent new member seated next to Jongin, looks shocked to see his dramatic entrance. “I have other shit that’s more important than sappy people making googley eyes at each other. And that includes all you stupid couples.”

“Is he okay?” Kyungsoo asks, turning to the group at large, eyes wide.

“No,” Yixing says, turning back to the television nonchalantly and flashing their new guest a pleasant smile. “We just put up with him for the entertainment.”

“Shut your hole, Zhang, you and Bacon are helping me later,” Luhan says, walking into the apartment with determined strides and flinging himself over the couch and forcefully into Yixing and Baekhyun where they had been previously settled on the couch together quite comfortably. Baekhyun lets out a loud yelp as Yixing grunts when Luhan lands on them, grinning happily at the two. “Hello, my dear, dear friends.”

“I will actually shove you in the oven on broil,” Baekhyun says, glowering at Luhan as the elder smiles cheerfully down at him.

“You’re precious when you try to look pissed,” Luhan says. “It really sad because no one will ever take you seriously ever.” Yixing smacks him in the back of the head out of protective boyfriend instincts.

“So what is it you need help with exactly?” Jongin asks from Luhan’s usual seat by the armrest of the couch.

“I need song suggestions,” Luhan says as he opens his computer in his lap. He kicks in the direction of the television where Brad Pitt looks artificially old. “Can someone please shut up Benjamin? My problems are more important than his stupid reverse aging condition. Give me songs!”

“But I like this movie,” Kyungsoo says, frowning slightly.

“Too bad, chipmunk!” Luhan snaps out and hurls a cushion at him. “Give me music.”

“Sing Girl’s Generation,” Baekhyun says, trying to shift his arm out from under Luhan’s back where it’s begun to lose feeling.

“What is he getting songs for?” Kyungsoo asks, turning to Jongin.

“I’m not singing Girl’s Generation, Baekhyun. Only you like their girlie music,” Luhan says, snorting as he types into his computer. Baekhyun rolls his eyes at Yixing.

“Sing Wonder Girls,” Yixing suggests and Luhan throws a look at his long time friend.

“Seriously, are any of you taking me seriously?” Luhan asks.

“It’s for his bet,” Jongin tells Kyungsoo, watching Luhan tap away with relative interest.

“What bet?” Kyungsoo asks, frowning as he looks back over at Luhan.

“Why not? You could sing ‘Be My Baby’ and do the swan dance,” Yixing says and grins.

“That-“ Luhan starts but pauses, tilting his head to the side slightly. “Might actually be okay,” he finishes and turns back to type into his laptop.

“The bet he made with Baekhyun and Yixing that he could seduce Jongdae with only song,” Jongin elaborates and Kyungsoo’s face darkens. “Sing Ne-yo,” he calls down to Luhan.

“No one asked you, your music sucks,” Baekhyun cuts off Jongin before Luhan can and Jongin frowns at Baekhyun’s rapid dismissal. Kyungsoo watches Luhan with newfound disapproval marring his face.

“I like Supreme Team,” Chanyeol says from where he’s seated between Wufan’s legs, leaning back into the elder as Wufan is propped against the armchair.

“No one cares,” Luhan yells and tacks away. Chanyeol frowns and Wufan wraps his arms around him, gently pulling him back into his chest and softening the frown on Chanyeol’s face significantly.

“Why don’t you just tell him?” Tao asks, walking back from the kitchen with a bowl of popcorn in hand. “I mean-“

“Shut up, what do you know about relationships?” Baekhyun cuts him off and earns a glare from Sehun as Tao’s expression falters.

“But I-“ Tao begins, looking at Baekhyun in confusion.

“Hey now-“ Sehun begins to chide.

“My plan is flawless!” Luhan yells over all of them.

“I refuse to be a part of this,” Kyungsoo says, looking around at them all with relative disapproval. “You’re all weird.” Jongin smiles faintly in amusement.

Luhan looks up at Kyungsoo and pauses at his keyboard. “Hey, you sing,” he says and Kyungsoo looks apprehensive. “Want to do a duet?”

Kyungsoo’s face falls really fast. “No.”

“But you’re friends with Chenzi! Maybe he’ll be more receptive if you sing with me!” Luhan says hopefully, remembering the nickname he had made for Jongdae last semester when noticing Jongdae’s ‘Chinese’ name one day on his class notes. He had spent three weeks referring to Jongdae as Chenzi much to Jongdae’s exasperation and awkward nervous laughter.

Kyungsoo glares. “Maybe if you stopped calling him ‘orange’ in Mandarin he’d be more willing to go out with you in the first place,” Kyungsoo shoots back. “And I really don’t think bursting out into ‘Oh my Darling Clementine’ in the mess on Tuesday helped you much.”

Luhan frowns. “That’s stupid,” he says and turns back to his computer, grabbing a bottle of alcohol from the table in front of him. “You’re stupid. Why do I ask you anything?”

Kyungsoo looks mildly offended before Jongin laughs lightly beside him. “Is he always like this?” Kyungsoo asks, turning to the tan boy beside him.

“No, sometimes he’s worse,” Jongin says grinning around the mouth of his beer bottle. Kyungsoo scowls and looks back at Luhan.

Luhan ignores Kyungsoo and instead filters through songs with quiet encouragement from Yixing as Baekhyun makes completely outlandish song suggestions and Sehun ignores him, instead nestling in with Tao and going back to The Curious Case of Benjamin Button for the rest of the evening. Luhan periodically throws popcorn in his hair and thinks about Jongdae’s awkward laugh between song titles.


The library has always been Jongdae’s sanctuary. It has been where he goes for quiet, peace, and study time, which he legitimately needs at some points because not all of his classes are in the music buildings. And he does have course requirements. The library has always been a nice respite from the drama of the music professors and other performance majors (not that he doesn’t like them) and he can finally wind down amid the stacks or in the back room with Junmyeon as the elder sorts books and organizes the lost and found.

It has always been a place where Jongdae can escape. And recently, it has become the only place he can really escape to, seeing as Luhan discovered that he can use Tao and Jongin to sneak into Jongdae’s dorm and belt music at his door as the freshman on the floor stare in wonder. Himchan had approached him earlier laughing like a maniac and recounting how Luhan had sung Carly Rae Jepsen’s ‘Call Me Maybe’ before finally wandering off to bother Yongguk about something Jongdae really didn’t give two shits about.

“Maybe he legit likes you and this isn’t some big messed up prank like you keep passing it off as,” Junmyeon muses as he frowns at the books before him. Jongdae is leaning against the book cart as Junmyeon runs his afternoon shift and once more tries to find consolation in his friend. This usually just ends in Junmyeon becoming far to concerned and Jongdae once more debating over whether his liking Luhan means that he’s gender confused or not. And trying to figure out if Luhan’s sudden apparent obsession with singing at him in practically every place imaginable is a sign of affection or absolute insanity.

“So he’s decided that he should confess to me by hip thrusting and belting out LMFAO?” Jongdae replies, eyebrows raised as Junmyeon gives him an apologetic look and shoves a few books in place. “Yeah, that’s super romantic. I love you, watch me gyrate to Nicki Minaj as I sing horrible similies.”

“Well, you never know,” Junmyeon says, careful to keep his voice soft as he pushes the library cart down the stacks of books. “Everyone has different ways of confessing. Remember that one kid last year who stood up on one of the dining hall tables and recited Shakespeare?”

“He was arrested for a knife collection later, wasn’t he?” Jongdae says, feeling that familiar panic that always seems to settle in his stomach creep around his waist as they linger on the topic of Luhan. The other boy seems to just be showing up everywhere and Jongdae isn’t entirely sure his nervous system can take much more of Luhan randomly bursting into song at him that is mostly, if not entirely, sexualized within the first few stanzas.

“Oh yeah,” Junmyeon says, and bites his lip. “Well, as far as we know, Luhan doesn’t hoard knives, right?”

“You’re so helpful,” Jongdae says, smiling waxily at Junmyeon. “I’m so lucky to have such an amazing friend to rely on in my times of need.”

“I do what I can,” Junmyeon says, flashing him a smile before putting a few more books on the shelves. “Besides, the attention isn’t all bad, right?”

Jongdae gives Junmyeon a pointed look. “Do you want Xiao Luhan belting music at you spontaneously and then only communicating to you through really, really horrible lyrics that don’t make sense half the time anyway? I swear, he chased me around the courtyard chorusing 2PM’s ‘Heartbeat’ for twenty minutes before Public Safety finally dragged him away. And he was still yelling ‘it’s beating for you!’ as they did so.”

“Why do you keep running, anyway?” Junmyeon asks, mouth quirking in amusement at Jongdae’s recounting. “I mean, it can’t be that bad.”

“It’s terrifying,” Jongdae says, slouching against a shelf and looking exhausted. “It was hard enough with him trolling me in art history. Everything I tried was like being met with wall of ‘nope’ before being rolled over or something. That I could just walk away from. This is ten times worse. How the hell do you respond to someone who just sings and dances in all of your personal space? Solution: you don’t. Hence, run the fuck away.”

Junmyeon is trying to hide his obvious smile in the book cart. “But what about that time with the umbrella?”

“That was-“ Jongdae starts but stops, instead staring as he catches sight of movement near the doors. On instinct, he crouches down. Junmyeon raises an eyebrow. “Don’t,” Jongdae says lowly as Junmyeon cranes his neck out to see why Jongdae is currently trying to mold himself into the floor.

“What are you- oh,” Junmyeon cuts himself off as he sees Luhan stalk into the stacks, looking like a ravenous lion on the hunt as Kim Minseok trails behind him with a set of speakers. He looks down at Jongdae who seems to be trying to actually crawl into the shelving.

“We're the fucking library!” Jongdae whispers hysterically and looks up at Junmyeon in disbelief and slight panic. “It’s supposed to be safe here! Quiet and safe!”

Junmyeon frowns. “I’ll be right back,” Junmyeon says quietly, before walking from the stacks of books and towards Luhan.

“Hyung, wait! No!” Jongdae hisses out, but it’s too late as Junmyeon takes very purposeful steps away from him.

“You can’t bring those in here,” Junmyeon says, voice level as he gestures to Minseok’s speakers.

“We’re not using them,” Luhan says, shrugging as he quickly looks Junmyeon up and down with a raised eyebrow. “How is it a problem?”

Junmyeon frowns. “Because you’re going to use them,” he says flatly and Luhan’s expression catches before splitting into a brilliant grin. It makes Junmyeon uncomfortable. “What?”

“So he is here,” is all Luhan says before shoving past Junmyeon and into the stacks. Junmyeon barely has a moment before Luhan is bouncing along the library shelves in obvious pursuit of something and the moment later lets out a triumphant whoop as Junmyeon hears Jongdae’s desperate yell. He sighs and turns to Minseok who is watching the whole exchange with relative degrees of tolerance on his face.

“You’re not really going t-“

Minseok just flashes him a small smile before pressing play on his ipod and suddenly the library stacks is filled with the bass intro beats of Miley Cyrus. Luhan’s voice sounds out from somewhere around the E 2300- 2900 section.

“I got my sight set on you, and I’m ready to wait~!”

“Oh my god, we’re in the library, Luhan!” Jongdae yells and there is the sound of books falling from somewhere. Junmyeon sighs and takes a brief moment to put his head in his hands before walking towards the commotion.

“The last time I freaked out! I just kept looking down! I stu-stu-stuttered when you asked me what I’m thinkin’ bout!” Luhan is singing loudly as he feigns around bookshelves after Jongdae. “Felt like I couldn't breathe! You asked what’s wrong with me! My best friend Sehun said ‘oh he’s just being smiley!”

“Those aren't even the lyrics!” Jongdae protests and his voice squeaks.

Luhan barely pauses as he lunges as Jongdae. “Well, my name’s not Miley!” he blurts out before snapping his mouth closed and Jongdae stares at him, eyes wide.

“Talking!” Jongdae says loudly, pointing at Luhan dramatically from where he is standing opposite the other around a table. Junmyeon vaguely registers the music shutting off behind him. “You're talking! Finally! Can you tell me what you’re doing now?”

Luhan gives a strange sort of aggravated huff and Junmyeon makes a move to try and restrain him, but is too late as Luhan instead scrambles onto the table and shoves his hips out. “I’m bringing sexy back~ yeh!” he sing-raps and Jongdae makes a strangled sound. “Them other boys don’t know how to act~yeh!” He sways over to Jongdae.

“No!” Jongdae yelps, backing away as Luhan reaches down to him and Luhan nearly falls of the table as he loses his balance slightly. Jongdae snatches a book from a nearby table and chucks it at Luhan’s head. He dodges it effectively.

Junmyeon scrambles forward and tries to put himself between Luhan and Jongdae. “Luhan would you get the fuck down and stop disrupting this entire building?” he snaps and glares.

“Hey, don’t bring me down~” Luhan sings out, pouting slightly before finally hopping from the table and trying to get into Jongdae’s line of sight again.

“Luhan, really, this is ridiculous. Please just leave,” Junmyeon says, frowning at the elder as Luhan tries to flit around him and closer to Jongdae, who is, fortunately, calming down slightly and watching Luhan tentatively.

Luhan frowns at Junmyeon before looking under Junmyeon’s outstretched arm towards Jongdae. “Hey, hey, you, you, I don’t like your boyfriend~” he sings out and it's significantly softer than all the previous times. “No way, no way, think you need a new one.” Jongdae lets out a disbelieving cough and Junmyeon just stares. “Hey, hey, you, you, I could be your boyfriend~” Luhan says before pausing and pursing his lips.

Jongdae coughs again and Junmyeon turns to look at him over his shoulder. Luhan is, surprisingly, not pushing past and instead watching Jongdae keenly. “Are you actually for real about this?” Jongdae asks after a moment. “Like, this isn’t a joke. You’re trying to ask me out?”

Luhan looks jubilant. “So, hmm whacha say~” he sings out and smiles cheerily up at Jongdae. “Would you ever be my, would you be my fucking boyfriend?”

Jongdae stares at Luhan as Luhan looks at him expectantly, his eyes wide and shining slightly. Junmyeon looks back at Jongdae and raises his eyebrows significantly.

Jongdae looks at Junmyeon. Junmyeon looks back.

Jongdae looks at Luhan. Luhan fidgets and still wont look away.

Jongdae lets out a really awkward laugh, face collapsing slightly as Junmyeon watches some of the panic set in again and sighs, not even bothering to try to stop Luhan as he bolts towards Jongdae and Jongdae lets out a high squeak before bolting up the library staircase, Luhan in hot pursuit and singing “Say what you need to say! Say what you need to say~!” and earning disapproving stares from everyone present.

“So, that’s cleared up then,” Junmyeon says, running a hand through his hair.

“You can’t actually tell me that Jongdae hadn’t put that together yet,” Minseok says, coming up and resting his speakers on the table Luhan had used as a dance stage. “Luhan’s been sing- stalking him for almost three weeks now.”

“He’s been in denial, I think,” Junmyeon says, and sighs again.

“Go away!” sounds from the upper levels of the library and Junmyeon winces.

“COZ I LIKE IT SO I WANNA PUT A RING ON IT! COZ I LIKE IT SO I WANNA PUT A RING ON IT! UWAH OH OH~!” Luhan’s voice carries down the four flights of stairs and Minseok pats Junmyeon sympathetically on the shoulder.

Luhan is banned from the library for the following month.


Luhan is beginning to lose his voice. He hates it. Hates it with a burning passion and a fire and a loathing as his stomach fills with dread because if he can’t sing, he can’t win over Jongdae, and he’s getting closer. His surprise performance at Taco Bell last Wednesday where he had managed to get through most of ‘Mirotic’ with well choreographed dance help from Minseok and even Tao before the staff had thrown him out. Kyungsoo had looked really displeased over his tacos and Jongdae had actually smiled around his burrito. Though he had also spit soda on Luhan when Luhan had seductively approached him singing “I got youuuuu under my skin” and done a particularly well placed hip thrust. He doesn’t even bother knocking as he breaks into Yixing and Baekhyun’s apartment. “I need to modify the bet,” he scratches out.

Thankfully, Yixing and Baekhyun are not involved and instead seem to be arguing over something on the stove. They turn to give him equally calculating looks. “What’s up?” Yixing asks, a spoon in one hand and the other at the small of Baekhyun’s back.

“I need to talk,” Luhan says and coughs as his throat itches. “It’s been four weeks and about two hundred songs. I am running out of material and I’ve almost got him.”

“We made our terms,” Baekhyun says flatly as Yixing frowns slightly, his lips pursing. “Songs only.”

“Baekhyun, maybe-“ Yixing starts but his boyfriend pokes him in the chest.

“Do you really want to fork over $200?” Baekhyun asks, raising his eyebrows at Yixing and the other seems to remember the details of the bet himself. “Plus,” he adds, sighing at Luhan. “We’ve already helped you a lot. You figure this out.”

“Sorry, Lu,” Yixing says with a small apologetic smile. “You have to get into Jongdae’s pants all on your own musically inclined self.”

Luhan frowns at them.

Sehun frowns at Luhan.

“I think Jongdae might actually like you,” Sehun says and Luhan jerks to full attention, nearly knocking his computer to the floor. Sehun is watching him with a conflicted expression on his face.

“Are you serious? How do you know?” Luhan asks, feeling breathless as his heart hops enthusiastically around in the back of his throat.

Sehun shifts. “Tao told me,” he says after a bit and then sighs. “Apparently Jongdae’s been really stressed out from your basically ambushing him or something and Tao went to check on him and he just spewed feelings. Or whatever. I don’t know, because Tao basically babbled about Jongdae’s emotional complexes for an hour when I asked what was on his mind.” He looks up at Luhan and frowns. “But from what he said, I’m pretty sure Jongdae is kind of between ‘I like and approve of your existence’ and ‘I like and want to fuck you.’ If that means anything.”

“Awesome!” Luhan yells in triumph, his voice cracking and sending him into a coughing fit. Sehun frowns at him.

“Luhan, you seriously don’t have to sing to him to confess. Or whatever,” Sehun says as he watches Luhan hack up a lung. “If Jongdae does actually like you, at the rate you’re going, this is just going to backfire.” Luhan glares up at him before dissolving into coughing again. Sehun huffs agitatedly. “I used words like a normal person! You should try it. Because right now you running around after Jongdae like a creepy musical cast stalker clearly isn’t getting your feelings across to the poor guy. Plus you’re kind of dying.”

Luhan heaves a breath. “I can’t just tell him I’m falling in love with him,” he grates out before coloring. He snaps his mouth shut as Sehun’s eyebrows raise on his face.

Luhan will remember why he appreciates having Sehun as his best friend later, when he has calmed down and is no longer trying to woo Kim Jongdae through song lyrics. He will remember that Sehun is amazing because Sehun never really questions him and knows when to keep his mouth shut.

“Why the fuck not?” Sehun says instead of prying at Luhan’s very blatant and very real confession of something even he is still grappling with. When his stupid emotional constipation had morphed into something more Luhan isn’t entirely sure, but he thinks it came between singing JYP and Frank Sinatra when Jongdae had actually begun smiling instead of looking as if he was about to be thrown into a shark pit. “You need to just stop this stupid shit and tell Jongdae you love him or have strange love-like feelings!”

“It’s not that simple!” Luhan snaps out and feels awkward in his computer chair. He grabs a rubik’s cube from his desk and fiddles with it absently. “Plus, I still don’t have $200.”

Sehun smacks a hand into his face and lets it drag down his face as he gives out a despondent groan. “I will give you the fucking $200. And it is that simple! It was that simple with me and Tao! And look. Now we’re dating! Tada!”

Luhan chucks his rubik’s cube, now completed, at Sehun’s head. “You have no imagination, shut up!” he yells as Sehun ducks and the rubik’s cube bounces off Luhan’s Manchester United poster. Sehun makes a very angered sound before stalking off to his room as Luhan snatches up his phone, dialing Eunhyuk.

Luhan has an idea.


It’s a beautiful day. Most of the students have been enjoying the sunshine by lounging around outside and on the campus green, talking and walking in the fantastic autumn weather before it is lost to them forever with the winter chill. As it’s Friday afternoon, most of the students have the majority of the day off, considering most of the campus prefers to schedule their classes to leave the day free for enjoyment. Or three day weekends of absolute shit-headedness.

Kim Jongdae, having spent the morning doing research on his portion of a group anthropology project, tentatively pokes his head out of the library doors. Thanks to the combined efforts of Junmyeon, Kyungsoo, and even Wufan, the library had once again regained its status as ‘safe haven’ for Jongdae. Wufan walks out of the library, brushing past him before pausing and glancing back, seeing Jongdae tentatively scanning the surrounding grounds for signs of attack. Wufan lets amusement turn up the corners of his eyes as he watches Jongdae behind his faux glasses.

“Honestly, you look like a scared rabbit,” Wufan says.

Jongdae frowns at him. “I scanning for predators,” he says flatly.

“Are you sure you aren’t just looking for him?” Wufan asks, flashing Jongdae a knowing smirk.

Jongdae makes a few really strange indignant sounds before shoving Wufan in the arm, finally stepping purposefully down the library steps. “Don’t be ridiculous,” he snaps out, adjusting his book bag. “Why would I be looking for him?”

Wufan snickers beside him, falling into step as they walk down the steps. “Because you actually like all the attention he’s giving you,” Wufan says, giving Jongdae a knowing look. Jongdae scoffs at him. “Oh come on, you complained about him forever last semester while twisting the shit out of shirt sleeves and now you get this stupid grin on your face whenever he shows up before hiding it in fits of panic.”

“I do not,” Jongdae sputters and shoves Wufan again. It has no real effect, considering Wufan is a mountain of a person and Jongdae may as well be pelting him with cotton balls.

“Why don’t you just admit it,” Wufan says, smiling at the way Jongdae is clearly trying to fight down the blush climbing up his neck. His ears are slightly pink. “You like having Xiao Luhan following you around and serenading you with bad pop songs. It just makes you feel all lovely and warm inside and a huge part of you just wants to give in and let him molest you endlessly.”

“Shut up,” Jongdae snaps, and shoves his shoulder into Wufan’s lower ribs because he can’t really reach higher than that. “You’re too tall.”

“I-“ Wufan begins but breaks off as very purposeful beats begin to play from somewhere and he pauses, eyebrows furrowing slightly and Jongdae stills, breath halting. Wufan looks around and Jongdae’s eyes go wide as half of the people around them suddenly freeze in mid stride.

“What?” Jongdae stammers out as Wufan mumbles “Oh, you’ve got to be kidding me” beside him.

The drums continue and a second later the frozen people all move in synch, falling into dance and Luhan emerges from behind the shrubbery by the library, microphone in hand as he walks out towards Jongdae, eyes on the smaller boy and smile on his face.

“You’ve got that smile that only heaven can make. I pay to God everyday that you keep that smile~” Luhan sings and glides effortlessly in a sweep around Jongdae, Wufan stepping back slightly to give him room. Jongdae doesn’t seem to notice. Jongdae stares as Luhan circles him, eyes wide as Luhan doesn’t touch, doesn’t even appear to intend to, and instead just continues to sing and glide through the air like he’s on wheels rather than feet. “Yeah, you are my dream. There’s not a thing I won’t do, I’ll give my life up for you, ‘cause you are my dream.”

The music picks up faintly and the group of slowly dancing students Wufan recognizes as the dance team all slides into perfect choreography as Luhan comes to pause in front of them. “And baby, everything that I have is yours. You will never go cold or hungry. I’ll be there when you insecure, let you know that I’ll always love you, boy, ‘cause you are the only thing that I got right now~” Luhan sings and the students all move behind him perfectly as he looks directly at Jongdae, expression brilliant. “One day when the sky is falling I’ll be standing right next to you, right next to you~”

The music calms for a moment and the dancers all pause for a moment as Luhan stills and sings directly to Jongdae, “Nothing will ever come between us, ‘cause I’ll be standing right next to you, right next to you~”

The music picks up a second later, along with the beat and Luhan grins breaking into his own separate dance as the students behind all fall into step together and move perfectly. Wufan glances down sideways at Jongdae and grins at the flush lightly tinting Jongdae’s cheeks and the way he’s biting his lip to hide a smile.

Luhan breaks from the mob the next movement to step out and dance in front, a few dancers come to stand behind him and mimic his movement as the rest of the mob continues behind them and Luhan continues to sing. Half way through the second verse, he breaks to once more approach Jongdae, who still looks half between shell-shocked and pleased beyond all reason. “And baby everything that I have is yours, you will never go cold or hungry. I’ll be there when you’re insecure, let you know that I’ll always love you, boy. ‘Cause you’re the only thing that I got right now~” Luhan sings before throwing his hands out again and singing passionately as he dances with fluid movement, “One day when the sky is falling, I’ll be standing right next to you, right next to you. Nothing will ever come between us, I’ll be standing right next to you, right next to you~”

The music transitions gently into the bridge and the dancers corresponding move in time as Luhan once more steps away towards Jongdae, eyes bright and warm on Jongdae as he sings “We’re made for one another, me and you. And I have no fear, I know we’ll make it through~” The music slows gently and Luhan holds out his hand tentatively towards Jongdae and Jongdae stares at it in relative wonder before looking back up at Luhan. Luhan sings gently, “One day when the sky is falling, I’ll be standing right next to you~” The music swells as the dancers all remain frozen but Jongdae doesn’t even notice, eyes instead on Luhan.

Somewhere, from the crowd of students that has seemed to gather around the spectacle, a girl screams out ‘Fucking take his Goddamn hand!' followed by a few approving screams and catcalls before the entire crowd is cheering. Luhan smiles through the enthusiasm and watches as Jongdae looks at him, flush covering his face and fighting a smile as he meets Luhan’s eyes.

Luhan ignores everyone, instead just panting slightly as he looks at Jongdae brightly and, after biting his lip really hard, Jongdae finally reaches out and tentatively takes Luhan’s hand. Luhan beams and tugs Jongdae forward without a second of hesitation. Jongdae’s face finally cracks into a grin and a nervous awkward laugh bubbles up from his throat.

Wufan rolls his eyes before walking away to disappear into the crowd to watch. He’s not needed anymore. Finally.

Luhan continues to sing, finishing the song as the dancers come to circle them and he pulls Jongdae into him, still singing with a new light in his eyes as Jongdae turns the relative color of a fire engine. “You’ve got that smile that only heaven can make. I pray to got every day to keep you forever, oh~” Luhan finally finishes the song, breathless and holding Jongdae in a side dip as Jongdae stares up at him nervously, the entire audience claps and cheers and the dancers dissipate hastily.

“Really?” Jongdae asks tentatively as Luhan rights him, eyes still shining and panting from dancing and singing and looking at Jongdae warmly.

“Oh my beautiful target~” Luhan sings softly, his voice scratchy with overuse and Jongdae coughs out an awkward laugh. “You zoom zoom my heart like a rocket!”

Jongdae barely has a moment to think of a reply before three public safety officers slam sideways into Luhan, tackling him to the ground and chaos breaks loose among the surrounding audience. Thirty percent are laughing, thirty percent are cheering, and thirty percent are yelling objections. The last ten percent is just watching with relative interest.

Wufan is frowning and looks like he wants to intervene.

Jongdae is possibly going through shock.

Kyungsoo, standing at the top of the library steps, looks torn between guilt and satisfaction as he holds his cell phone at his side.


Luhan didn’t know that Universities actually had a Disciplinary office. He thought that those, for the most part, ended after High School and you just were expected to be more responsible once you entered higher education.

Luhan is apparently mistaken, as he looks guiltily over the desk at the clearly displeased Head of Discipline.

“Sorry,” Luhan croaks out and winces at the pain in his throat.

“You know, usually when I have students here, it’s because they broke a door or blew up a trash can or something,” the Head of Discipline says, sighing before leaning over his desk. “Those are the usual public disturbances I get. Not excessive singing and dancing in public venues and causing general public unrest. How long has it been?”

Luhan purses his lips and tries to look apologetic. The problem is, in reality, Luhan actually feels a little bit proud his antics have garnered the attention of such high ranking officials. And the fact that Jongdae basically looked moonstruck earlier today before Luhan had his face smashed into asphalt. He can still feel the scratch against the side of his face when he moves his face in any way shape or form.

“Why exactly are you trying to embody High School Musical on the campus?” the Head of Discipline asks, a hint of a smile on his mouth.

“I’m telling the guy I like I like him,” Luhan rasps out like a frog before coughing unattractively.

The Head of Discipline raises his eyebrows significantly and Luhan smiles sheepishly. Then the older man starts to laugh and Luhan doesn’t really know if this is a good thing or not but smiles anyway.

“You really like this kid, huh?” the Head of Discipline asks, eyes amused as he looks at Luhan.

“Why else would I sing to him everywhere?” Luhan says and his voice wheezes. Internally he spits every swear he knows in every language he knows. He shrugs. “Only people who are crazy in love legitimately burst into song at their besotted.”

The Head of Discipline isn’t really that scary.

Luhan gets off with being banned only from the library and a warning not to blow anything up.


Jongdae is grabbing a lunch on his own in the lower campus cafeteria, seated by himself between classes on Wednesday and glancing over some music theory notes he has to review before his afternoon lecture. He only looks up when a slight hush has fallen over the cafeteria, blinking slightly.

Luhan is standing in front of him, bundled up in a jacket, scarf, and face mask. He is also wearing really flattering skinny jeans and staring at Jongdae in determination.

Jongdae swallows.

Luhan turns briefly and grabs what appears to be a poster from behind him before holding it up for Jongdae to read. ‘I lost my voice and am half dying, so I’m improvising’ reads the sign and Jongdae lets the french fry he’s holding fall to his plate.

Luhan’s eyes crinkle in a smile and he bends down, grabbing something before hauling a stereo onto the table next to Jongdae and hitting play.

The unmistakable sound of Katy Perry rings through the cafeteria as Luhan bops his hip in time. Jongdae feels a flush creep up his neck as Katy’s voice sweeps around the completely silent cafeteria.

“You think I’m pretty without any make up on. You think I’m funny when I tell the punch line wrong. I know you get me, so I let my walls come down, down~” Luhan dances out the words of the song with exaggerated gestures, moving his hips in time and with a few extremely cheesy looks and winks. Jongdae feels a laugh bubble at the back of his throat that he bites off with his teeth fastened firmly in his lower lip. A few students around them laugh and one of them starts clapping along to the beat.

Luhan doesn’t dance too close, instead keeping a relative distance and his eyes on Jongdae keen as he goes through a clearly well practiced dance routine full of small spins and quirks and really over the top acting of the lyrics. Jongdae lets out a laugh as Katy sings “no regrets, just love” and Luhan makes a very silly face as he draws a heart in the air. Then the chorus is starting and Luhan is legitimately jamming out to the song, body sliding fluidly as he spins around as Katy sings, “My heart stops, when you look at me. Just one touch, now baby I believe. This is real, so take a chance and don’t ever look back, don’t ever look back,” before Luhan turns and jumps up on to the vacant table behind him and full out goes all out and Jongdae is suddenly laughing, his face falling in a smile as Luhan looks completely ridiculous prancing on the table top shimmying.

“I’ma get your heart racing in my skin tight jeans, be your teenage dream tonight~”

Luhan makes a very suggestive look as he runs his hands down his waist and over his hips, accenting his jeans (which Jongdae realizes how are intentionally tighter than normal). The music break sounds and Luhan jumps down, walking slowly with purposeful steps to Jongdae and tentatively stands, face flushing as the music swells.

“Kiss him already or something!” One of the boys by the window seats yells out and Jongdae colors. Katy continues to sing but Luhan ignores it, eyes bright behind the face mask as his breaths echo in Jongdae’s ears. “Then he’ll stop singing and dancing every where and we can go back to our normal lives!”

Jongdae ignores the rude boy and instead pushes himself to his feet. Luhan’s eyes watch him carefully. Jongdae hesitates for a moment, seeming to fight with himself briefly before scoffing, throwing out a hand and grabbing Luhan’s wrist and pulling him forward. “Jesus Christ, just sit down would you,” he says and ducks his head as Luhan stumbles around the table slightly, eyes wide as Jongdae hides his smile.

Luhan falls into the seat beside Jongdae in something that may be a state of shock as ‘Teenage Dream’ finishes. The next moment his face is crinkling in delight as he looks at Jongdae, who is determinately shoving a fork into his mashed potatoes. Jongdae glances over sideways at Luhan and offers him an embarrassed smile. “You’re sick, I’m not kissing you,” he says flatly and Luhan blinks before throwing himself onto Jongdae and proceeding to squeeze the life out of him as Jongdae lets out a startled sound.

The cafeteria suddenly rings with applause, cat calls, and a few girls squealing. One voice yells out ‘finally’ but not one really seems to care.

Luhan dissolves into coughing a moment later as Jongdae pushes him back slightly, though he looks overly happy to apparently be hacking out his entire chest cavity. Jongdae smiles anyway as he looks at Luhan and raises an eyebrow.

“Katy Perry? Really?” Jongdae says, looking at Luhan skeptically.

Luhan just shrugs, still beaming and letting out one more cough before scooting close, throwing an arm around Jongdae and pulling him into his side. He picks up one of Jongdae’s french fries and offers it to him, eyes warm. Jongdae laughs again and his face colors. Luhan’s own face smiles brightly. He shifts and draws his arm from around Jongdae to make a very distinct heart with his hands and flashes it to the other boy.

“You could have just told me you liked me, you know,” Jongdae says as he leans into Luhan. “That would have saved you a lot of trouble. And your voice.”

Luhan gives him and exasperated look before rolling his eyes as if to say ‘that’s far to boring, what do you think I am, you foolish creature’ before his eyes crinkle in happiness and he presses his face in to nuzzle against Jongdae’s. Jongdae lets out a surprised squeak, flinching away slightly even as a delighted laugh drifts out from between his lips. Luhan sighs happily into Jongdae’s hair and Jongdae tries not to think of how completely public this all is.

“Why didn't you say anything before?” Jongdae asks, pushing Luhan away slightly and meeting Luhan’s curious eyes. “I mean, last semester all you did was annoy the crap out of me in class and troll me every other time you sa- oh.” Luhan gives him a ‘duh’ expression and Jongdae’s face colors. “This really isn’t some sort of prank?”

Luhan’s eyes soften and his touch turns gentle around Jongdae’s shoulders. He slowly but definitely shakes his head ‘no’ and Jongdae lets a pleased smile spread over his lips. Luhan’s eyes crinkle and he pokes playfully at the side of Jongdae’s face before suddenly being slammed with a fit of hacking and lunging into himself to try not to violently cough into Jongdae’s personal space.

Jongdae gets up quickly. Luhan looks up, still coughing slightly, and with wide eyes. Jongdae smiles. “I’ll get you some tea,” Jongdae says. “Don’t die while I’m gone.” Luhan flashes him a distinct thumbs up as he resumes dying sounds and Jongdae smiles to himself as he walks back into the serving area towards the beverages.

Luhan finally manages to get himself under control, wheezing slightly, when a new voice says from in front of him “Congratulations.” He looks up to see Jongin, standing easily with his hands shoved into his pockets and offering him a small smile. Luhan cocks his head to the side, trying to portray as much of his frown as he can from behind his face mask. “I didn’t actually think you’d be able to do it.” Luhan looks a bit annoyed and a lot disconcerted. “I mean, I know you’re a bit crazy, but to actually succeed on the bet to seduce Jongdae through only song, I’m kind of impressed.”

Luhan’s face loses what little color it possesses.

“How long until you seal the deal and hit up Yixing for that 200?” Jongin asks and flashes a grin before starting at the loud crashing sound behind him. He spins around, stepping back slightly and Luhan eyes flash to see Jongdae standing, frozen behind Jongin, a dining hall mug shattered at his feet and tea seeping over the floor. Luhan’s face goes white and Jongin looks really uncomfortable.

“A bet?” Jongdae says and his voice is slightly scratchy and slightly loud. “This-“ he seems to struggle. “This was a bet?!” Luhan tries to struggle to his feet as Jongin watches between the two boys. Jongdae suddenly looks livid. “Fuck you, Luhan!” He snarls out before turning and walking five steps, turning again, walking back to a slightly stunned Luhan, snatching up his books while glaring. Luhan barely has a moment to do anything before Jongdae as picked up his lunch plate and slammed it into his face. He doesn’t bother looking back as it clatters to the table, leaving Luhan’s face covered in mashed potatoes, ketchup, bits of french fries and broccoli as he storms from the cafeteria.

Luhan remains frozen for a moment, staring in shock as mashed potatoes drip down his face before turning slowly to Jongin, eyes murderous. Jongin swallows as he looks back at Luhan. “Wow, um, sorry?” he says before Luhan starts spasming in very dramatic and hysteric hand motions towards himself and the direction Jongdae has just gone and everything in general before seeming to completely give up on life and just flops face first into the table. Luhan looks the ultimate visage of despair.

“Um,” Jongin says, and something slowly whirs at the back of his mind as Luhan pushes himself slowly back up, eyes both ultimately woeful and extremely hateful. “So, wow.” Luhan fixes his eyes on Jongin and they look deadly. “So, um, that wasn’t actually about the bet was it,” Jongin ventures and lets out a yelp the next moment as Luhan vaults himself off the table with clear killing intent.


Luhan has been banned from the dining halls for a week. Apparently it is unacceptable to try to kill people with forks when their name is Jongin and they ruin his life. He spends the majority of the time wallowing in his room and trying to get his voice back as Sehun occasionally visits with Tao and forces him to shower.

According to Tao, Jongdae had apparently actually liked him since the previous semester and Luhan’s serenading act been entirely successful. Jongdae had spilled his heart out about Luhan to the younger boy and Kyungsoo (though not apparently Jongin considering Jongin is as about as sensitive as a boulder) when he wasn’t avoiding Luhan and having mild panic attacks over whether Luhan was serious or just trolling him again. Currently he is apparently alternating between locking himself in his room with Kyungsoo as guard and huddling behind Junmyeon in the library for emotional support. Luhan spends two hours having a very intense fight with his bedding after hearing this news before collapsing in a pile of school papers and blankets, moaning at the wall.

Sehun finds Luhan on Wednesday wrapped in a sweatshirts, a winter hat, a bright yellow scarf, and sitting on his bed surrounded by markers, lots of shredded paper, and a huge white board.

“What are you doing?” Sehun asks, not sure he really wants to know the answer.

Luhan glances up before uncapping a marker and scribbling something on the white board. He holds it up for Sehun to read when he finishes and looks determined.

‘I am plotting a new plan of attack ;D’

Sehun blanches. “Wha- Luhan no!” Sehun snaps out, resisting the urge to pick up the nearest item and chuck it at Luhan’s head. “Just apologize or something. Tell him the truth!” Luhan makes a series of very exaggerated hand gestures as Tao wanders into the room, eyes widening as he takes in Luhan’s current appearance. Sehun makes a frustrated sound as Luhan finishes whatever gesture ends in your hands pressing against both of your ears. “What do you mean you can’t just tell him? Luhan, the bet is over! You lost!”

Luhan chucks a marker at Sehun and Sehun ducks. Tao backs up slightly but a twist of an amused smile tugs at his lips. Sehun swoops down and grabs the marker, hurling it back at Luhan, who deflects it with his white board, causing it to ricochet against his lamp and into the laundry basket. Luhan makes a few more wild hand gestures before grabbing another marker and scrawling hastily. Sehun watches him with really annoyed eyebrows. Luhan finishes and holds up his sign, shaking it good measure.

‘I do not give up on shit! Do you remember that one time they said I couldn’t climb that flagpole and I did?!?!’

Sehun lets out a loud noise. Tao stares at him. “You ended up in the hospital! With a broken arm and a forever fear of high things!” he yells at Luhan, who scribbles out his previous chicken scratch and writes in huge letters ‘IRRELEVANT!’

Sehun gives up after another few minutes of arguing with Luhan, which was, in reality, just Sehun angrily trying to dissuade Luhan from doing more crazy shit while Luhan wrote back horribly illegible answers and pelted Sehun with cough drops. Instead, Sehun grabs Tao’s hand and vanishes off to somewhere else while Luhan frantically searches his music library and Youtube and eats two bags of cough drops before Yixing and Baekhyun come drag him off to the mess hall and force a bowl of chicken soup down his throat.

“So, bet’s off,” Yixing says, laying a gentle hand on Luhan’s back as he stabs at the soggy oyster crackers in the bottom of his bowl.

“I’m still going to kill Jongin,” Luhan grates out, voice sounding like how pain feels and Baekhyun actually winces at the sound. “I don’t have 200 bucks.”

“I think the current misery you’re experiencing is more painful than forking over 200 to us,” Baekhyun says, pushing a mug of tea towards Luhan. Luhan stares at it in annoyance. “Consider that void.”

“I’m not giving up,” Luhan says and his voice is nearly as low as Chanyeol’s, though it sounds much less pleasant.

“Oh good,” say Baekhyun, flashing brilliant teeth in a smile.

“I have a new plan,” Luhan continues in his hag voice and gets a gleam in his eyes.

“Oh no,” Yixing says as Luhan dissolves into violent coughing and accidentally bangs his head on the table at a particularly violent hack.


Jongdae finally goes back to classes on Thursday morning, considering that he has been absent for the first three days of the week as he mopes about to Kyungsoo and Junmyeon and the rest of campus experiences an odd quiet as Luhan’s incessant singing is conspicuously absent. Jongdae shows up to class bundled in a black sweatshirt, sunglasses, and hood drawn over his head. His professor just gives him a raised look but doesn’t comment. Kyungsoo also doesn’t comment, just gives a sympathetic look to Jongdae as he sits down. Chanyeol does comment, leaning over his desk to Jongdae, eyes shining in concern.

“Hey, just so you know, Lu-“

“If you even say his name, I will end you,” Jongdae says with clenched teeth and Chanyeol visibly flinches back into his desk where he remains for the rest of class, shooting tentative looks at his once considered docile friend.

At the end of class, as the students file out, Jongdae sighs, packing up his things before slinging his bag over his shoulder and walking out with Kyungsoo. He keeps his head down for the most part, listening as Kyungsoo tells him about something Baekhyun did the other day and only looks up when Kyungsoo falters and trails off in mid sentence.

Jongdae scowls at Luhan’s apologetic smile.

“Hi,” Luhan says and his voice rasps horribly.

Jongdae doesn’t say anything, just turns and tries to walk away but Luhan is fast, slipping in front of him and bringing him to a halt. Jongdae’s frown deepens.

“Move,” Jongdae says lowly and glares at Luhan. He wishes he hadn’t taken of his sunglasses, because he’s sure Luhan can see the bags under his eyes and how red they still are from lack of sleep and… other stuff.

“No,” Luhan says flatly and the sound catches at the back of his throat. “I’m not moving.”

“Fine,” Jongdae spits out and turns to go the other direction. Luhan spins around in front of him again and Jongdae clenches his teeth. “Why are you even here. I’m just a fucking bet. Go bother someone else.”

“You’re not a bet,” Luhan says and it’s gravel on Jongdae’s ears. He winces without intending to. Luhan coughs and clears his voice. “If you would just-“

“Fuck off,” Jongdae snaps out, voice tight as his eyes burn. He shoves past Luhan but jerks to a halt as a very firm grip comes over his wrist. “What, are you going to apologize for humiliating me for the past month?” Jongdae snaps, whirling to look at Luhan coldly. Luhan’s eyes are steady.

“No,” Luhan says. “I just want you to know-“ and then to Jongdae’s horror Luhan starts singing, again, and his voice sounds absolutely horrific. “I would catch a grenade for you, throw my hand on a blade for you, I’d jump in front of a train for you, you know I’d do anything for you.”

Jongdae violently wrenches his grip from Luhan’s hands and stares at him with hurt and anger. “Go away!” he spits out, backing up a step as Kyungsoo looks conflicted beside him. “I don’t want any more to do with this. Just leave me alone!”

“No,” Luhan says determinately, taking a step towards Jongdae and the other stumbles back, dancing out of reach as Luhan continues his pursuit. “Just-“

“I cannot even begin to explain how much I hate you, right now, Xiao Luhan!” Jongdae yells above the noise of the hallway and almost everyone pauses and glances over to the ruckus. Luhan looks like Jongdae might as well had punched him in the face. He blinks, takes another stop towards Jongdae, and Jongdae grabs Kyungsoo’s history text and bats Luhan back before shoving the book into Kyungsoo’s chest and sprinting down the exit stairs. Kyungsoo stares at Luhan with wide eyes before Luhan is launching himself at the stairs and bellowing over the railing “CRAAAWLING IIIIN MY SKIIIIN! THESE WOOOUNDS THEY WIIIIL NOT HEAAAAAL!” and Jongdae is screaming “Fuck you, Luhan! Fuck you!” back up the stairwell as all of the students stare.


“Well, that went well,” Minseok says idly, handing Luhan a hot cup of tea along with some cold medicine.

“I fucking hate tea,” Luhan spits out even as he accepts the mug.

Minseok raises his eyebrows. “You don’t hate tea,” he says bemusedly.

“Yes, I do,” Luhan snaps and glares.

“Since when?” Minseok asks, sitting down next to Luhan on the bed and leaning back on his arms slightly. “You didn’t used to hate tea.”

“Shut up,” Luhan says into his chamomile as he takes a sip. He winces and Minseok offers him a small kind smile.

“Why don’t you try apologizing to him?” Minseok suggests, leaning his head to the side as he looks at Luhan. Luhan basically looks like he died, was buried, and then woke up deciding that the afterlife wasn’t interesting enough and dug himself back to the surface. It is not a great look on him.

Luhan snorts into his tea and then yelps when that causes it to slosh into his lap. “I can’t apologize to him,” Luhan says, trying to frantically brush scalding liquid off of himself.

“Why not?” Minseok asks.

“Because I’m not sorry for chasing him around and singing to him like some sort of stupid romantic musical cast member,” Luhan says as if it's the most obvious thing in the world.

“I don’t think that’s what you should apologize f-“ Minseok starts but Luhan cuts him off with an aggravated hand gesture.

“Why would I be sorry about serenading him love songs? I would do that with or without 200 bucks on the line! That was just an added bonus!” Luhan says wildly and sloshes tea everywhere as he gestures.

Minseok sighs as his carpet acquires splotchy bits of chamomile. “Why don’t you tell him that?” Minseok says, ever patient with his extremely strange friend.

“I’m going to,” Luhan says firmly, starting to take a sip of tea and frowning when he realizes the mug is half empty.

“You are?” Minseok says, eyebrows raised.

“Yeah, I just have to get my voice back first,” Luhan says, looking over the rip of his mug at Minseok.

Minseok sighs. “You’re going to sing to him, aren’t you.”

Luhan grins. “I like to consider my persistence to be one of my better qualities.”

“And you are entirely alone in that,” Minseok says.

“Someone’s got to,” Luhan says before taking a large gulp and letting out a yelp as he scalds his entire mouth.


Luhan gets his voice fully back by the following Monday, which is lucky considering he basically skipped all of his classes the previous week. He proceeds to hunt down Jongdae at every possible opportunity to try to corner him and persuade him through the art of song that his intentions had been entirely pure. Well, maybe not entirely, because Luhan really does admire Jongdae’s legs and sometimes imagines his voice saying much more interesting things than ‘hello’ and ‘fuck off’. But at least convince him of his pure intentions regarding his pursuit of Jongdae from an emotional perspective.

Jongdae, in response to Luhan’s constant persistence, has returned to abject panic and sometimes hysteria whenever he appears and has taken to hiding himself once more in the library and his room. The only difference is now Luhan stalks about outside in a similar fashion to a very ravenous wolf. He managed to get into Jongdae’s building, belting songs at his door and going as far as to try to pick the lock on the door before Kyungsoo had chased him out with a fly swatter and a really terrifying expression.

Luhan had even gone as far as to lie in wait in Tao and Jongin’s room, where he knew that Jongdae would occasionally visit for socialization and moral support. After hiding himself in Jongin’s closet for close to two hours, Luhan succeeded in finally seeing Jongdae. Though it ended up being incredibly painful as Jongdae had immediately ranted about how much he hated Luhan to Tao and Jongin before collapsing uselessly on Tao’s bed and curling up with the martial artist. Luhan hadn’t really approved of this behavior and had burst from the closet and tried to wrap Jongdae in his arms, babbling useless poetry that Chanyeol had given him, and Jongdae, completely thrown off guard, had elbowed him in the nose.

Luhan spent the rest of the day with an ice pack on his face and exiled from the Walker Dorm and thus wore through Wufan’s carpet pacing as he threw continuously annoyed looks at Chanyeol and the gangly boy smiled apologetically back. Wufan told him to apologize to Jongdae. Luhan told him to fuck off. Chanyeol told Luhan to confess to him for real.

Luhan waits until his nose is healed a bit and takes a two day respite where he sits in his room and burns through course work and plots. Sehun ignores him. Though really Luhan can’t really tell now if Sehun’s conspicuous absence is Sehun ignoring him or Sehun dating Tao and being stupidly happy about it.

On Friday, Jongdae is sitting in his room, listening to Damien Rice and considering his life choices when music drifts through his open window. He pauses, frowning and gets up, going to yell at the dorm opposite for blasting their music and pauses, half out the window, as he realizes it’s not the dorm opposite but a stereo and Luhan. Again.

Jongdae frowns severely. “Go away, Luhan!” he yells, though he sounds more tired and desperately sad than annoyed.

“No!” Luhan yells before he continues singing. “I’m so sorry but I love you~”

“Would you stop, I’m so sick of you and this stupid shit!” Jongdae yells and moves to slam his window closed.

“I’m not giving up!” Luhan yells as Big Bang continues in the background. “I’m not stopping until you stop being stupid and just listen to me!”

“I have been listening to you!” Jongdae yells back, now getting annoyed. “I’ve had to listen to you sing at me for a fucking bet for the past month and a half! And you know what, Luhan? I am so beyond sick of hearing your voice.”

“I have an amazing voice,” Luhan shouts back, stomping his foot in aggravation.

“You lied to me with your stupid sappy song lyrics and now, I just- you asshole!” Jongdae’s voice cracks out as he screams down at Luhan.

Luhan grins triumphantly up at Jongdae. “So you like me then!” he yells.

“You suck!” Jongdae throws back.

“So baby don’t cry, tonight~” Luhan ballads at the top of his lungs. Jongdae hurls a stapler through the window at him in response. It buries itself in an arborvitae.

“That nearly hit me!” Luhan yells and looks up incredulously at Jongdae’s scowling face.

“That was the point!” Jongdae snaps.

“Dooooushite!” Luhan belts out as Big Bang clashes horribly. “Kimi wo suki ni nattashimattandarou~”

“I don’t understand Japanese!” Jongdae exclaims, throwing up his hands in frustration.

“It’s the intention!” Luhan yells up at him. “The translation is why the fuck did I have to fall for such a goddamn moron!"

Jongdae sputters incoherently for a moment. “Those are the worst lyrics ever.”

“I was taking dramatic liberty!” Luhan shouts up at him as G Dragon raps things over the speakers. “They’re usually more romantic but I’m exasperated.”

“You’re exasperated!” Jongdae resists laughing spitefully. “How do you think I feel?”

“Sad!” Luhan yells and Jongdae’s mouth snaps shut because Luhan is mostly entirely correct. “You feel sad and annoyed and are stupid because I’m trying to tell you that you shouldn’t feel sad because I would have followed you around singing to you with or without a bet!” Jongdae stills at his window and just stares out at Luhan. Luhan breathes slightly heavily as he looks up with more determination than Jongdae is entirely prepared for.

Jongdae just stares out his window, mouth slightly open, and makes a gurgling sound.

Luhan smiles, letting out a small breath. “Are you still mad?” he calls up to Jongdae as Taeyang sings behind him.

“Probably,” Jongdae says and Luhan frowns, not entirely able to hear. “I don’t know!” Jongdae says a little louder. “You’re still an asshole.”

“An asshole you like!” Luhan says, grinning widely.

Jongdae lets out a strangled sound. “Go away!” he squawks. “I don’t want to listen to your lying words anymore.”

Luhan makes a very frustrated motion with his hands. “I’m not fucking lying!” he yells and finally slams a hand on the stereo, cutting off T.O.P. “How else was I supposed to legitimately tell you I want to date you and get your attention when all you do is fucking stare at me and try to troll me but then just walk the fuck away before I can even do anything?”

Jongdae is very quiet as he leans half out of his window. Luhan breathes heavily, the exertion from controlling the pounding of his heart and the snakes in his stomach and yelling at the top of his lungs leaving him slightly breathless. “What?” Jongdae finally says.

But Luhan has now become exasperated. “You suck! I try to sing you love songs and all you do is get annoyed and run away from me like I’m trying to feed you poison.”

Jongdae frowns. “You stood on my advisors desk singing The Point of No Return!” Jongdae snaps. “What else do you expect?”

Luhan snorts in emotion. “I was expressing my inner conflict!” he protests.

Jongdae barks out a laugh. “What inner conflict? The fact that you’re insane?”

“No!” Luhan yells. “The fact that I’m in love with the biggest fucktard on campus.”

Jongdae just stares out of his window for a long time as Luhan presses his lips closed very firmly, waiting. Finally Jongdae gives a sort of awkward fidget. “That’s not fair!” he calls down and Luhan snorts.

“No!” Luhan counters. “What’s not fair is that I never get got to the bridge of Part of Your World. That is unfair!” Jongdae just looks at him in disbelief before Luhan gives a huff. “Now when can I climb the fuck up there?”

Jongdae’s arms apparently give out on him as he nearly falls out of the window. “What?!”

Luhan shrugs as he walks towards Jongdae’s building. “I sang love songs to you to profess my undying love. I figure I might as well carry on with these horrific clichés.”

Jongdae looks torn between panic and amusement as he leans out the window to watch Luhan beat his way through shrubbery to get to the base of the building. “You’re going to climb the wall. What are you, Spiderman?”

“I am possessed with love!” Luhan bellows as he stands at the base of Jongdae’s building and looks up determinately.

“Why can’t you just fucking apologize like a normal human?” Jongdae snaps, frowning.

“Because I’m not sorry!” Luhan yells, looking up at Jongdae, face serious.

Jongdae frowns and moves to slam his window.

“I’m not sorry because I don’t regret singing to you that I love you.”

Jongdae doesn't slam his window.

“You barely know me!” Jongdae yells, though his voice is hesitant.

“I know you like music,” Luhan calls up, taking a small step forward. “I know that you laugh when you feel uncomfortable and smile even when you don’t have to. I know you don’t take sugar in your coffee and always categorize the food on your plate before eating it. I know that your favorite color is red but you never wear it because it clashes with the hint of green in your eyes. I know that you take notes and never write in the margins because you'd rather doodle there instead and I know that I would probably love you or whatever even if I didn’t know all of that because you’re you.”

Even from the ground, Luhan can see Jongdae’s face flush with color and a smile breaks over his face. “You suck!” Jongdae yells down.

“Don’t care!” Luhan says happily and walks forward. “Just tell me you believe me so I can climb the wall and ivy and crawl in through your window and properly explain this rather than have a shouting match with your window.”

Jongdae stares at him. “Who even does that? No!”

Luhan scowls and stomps his foot again. “Then how am I supposed to kiss everything better?”

Jongdae fidgets by his window as Luhan jumps up and grabs hold of a window ledge, beginning to haul himself up the side of a building. “Why are you climbing the wall anyway? I can just let you in the dorm.”

Luhan lets out a loud grunt as he gets himself on the first window ledge and looks up at Jongdae with determination written on his face. “Because I’m impractical and this is already beyond cheesy so fuck off, I’m doing this shit,” he snaps before grabbing onto a pipe and hoisting himself up further.

Jongdae leans over his window, watching Luhan, face creased in interest and concern. “Why are you like this?” he calls down, sounding more amused than hysteric.

“Because my parents had sex!” Luhan yells back, feet scrabbling for purchase against the brick. “Prepare to be invaded!” Luhan hauls himself up the building, grabbing at windowsills, drain pipes, and decorative stone work, spitting out grunts and a few choice swears as Jongdae watches apprehensively. Luhan reaches the third floor windows and looks up at Jongdae, panting but smiling none the less. “Now,” he says, breathlessly. “Do you really think I’d go through all this trouble just for a fucking 200 dollars? I’m either crazy in love, or would do anything for you.”

Jongdae lets out a nervous laugh that slowly builds until he’s leaning out of his window, laughing into the night and Luhan is beaming up at him as his chest heaves for breath and his fingers clutch for support. “Both of those options lead-“

“To me loving you,” Luhan finishes and Jongdae presses his lips together, smile edging his mouth as he looks down at Luhan, eyes bright.

“If you’re joking around, I’m pushing you out the window,” Jongdae says and Luhan barks out a laugh. “You will most likely die.”

“It’s a good thing I’m not lying then,” Luhan says as he reaches up and grabs at a drain pipe. It breaks and Luhan swears before chucking it into the night. Jongdae furrows his eyebrows. “Still not giving up!” Luhan yells and instead grabs onto the window edge and pulls himself up until he’s just below Jongdae’s window.

Jongdae looks down with intrigue clear on his face. “Want help?”

Luhan snorts as he looks around for a hand hold to pull himself up further. “Are you really going to help me?” Luhan asks, coughing slightly as he slips a little.

“No,” Jongdae says, smiling as he watches Luhan frown up at him before trying to swing himself up onto Jongdea’s window ledge. He fumbles and Jongdae immediately reaches out and grabs him, pulling him back before he can fall. Luhan looks up with slightly shocked and panicked eyes and Jongdae bites his lip, pink hitting his cheeks. “Well, okay maybe yes.”

“I can come in then?” Luhan asks, and shakes slightly on the edge of Jongdae’s window.

Jongdae sighs, looking at the young man currently crouched on his windowsill and lets a smile crawl fully across his lips. “I can’t believe you just climbed up the wall of my building.” He pauses and frowns slightly as Luhan doesn't entirely move, knuckles white on the edges of his window. “I thought you were afraid of heights,” he says and watches as Luhan’s pupils dilate.

“That’s probably because I am afraid of heights,” Luhan says and his voice is tight. “Can I please come in before I hyperventilate?”

Jongdae frowns before realizing that he is standing and blocking Luhan from coming inside. “You asking permission for things now?” Jongdae says, even as he takes a small step back.

“Fear!” Luhan spits out, seeming to snap and almost flying through the window at Jongdae, who doesn’t move fast enough and gets tackled to the floor as Luhan catapults himself into the single room. “Lots of fear.”

Jongdae lets out a loud grunt as he is slammed into the floor, Luhan’s weight half on himself and thus pushing half the air from his lungs. Luhan is shaking slightly from where he’s sprawled face down on the floor and panting. Jongdae looks over at him, eyes lingering on the curve of his neck and the line of his jaw as it vanishes into his tousled blond dyed hair. “Are you going to make it?” Jongdae asks, eyebrow raised as Luhan huffs into his floor.

“No,” Luhan says, voice muffled into the carpet before he turns his face, still panting and face slightly flushed as he looks at Jongdae. His eyes are bright and shining and a smile quirks his mouth. “Kiss me now. Death is upon me.”

Jongdae bubbles out a laugh as his smile broadens. “You’re an idiot,” he says though his voice is warm.

“I just scaled a building despite an intense fear of heights,” Luhan says. “I think that’s obvious.” He offers a smile. “Kiss me anyway?”

Jongdae pauses, looking at the lines of Luhan’s face and the warmth in his eyes and the slightly parted lips that breathe gently as his face hosts a small blush and he doesn’t move, doesn’t move, just waits for Jongdae to answer him. Jongdae bits his lip briefly before saying, “no.”

Luhan licks his lips, looking at Jongdae, who is blushing fiercely and hasn’t moved from where he’s still half nestled underneath Luhan, body warm and eyes wide and curious as they look back. “Fine,” Luhan says and Jongdae’s eyes widen as he rolls onto his forearms and positions himself over Jongdae, looking down as his hair falls about his face. He smiles at Jongdae’s wide surprised but excited eyes, his slightly parted lips which betray the increased pace of his breaths. Luhan smiles down at the boy he started chasing because he liked him and climbed a wall for because he loved him. “I’ll just kiss you then,” he says simply before leaning down and doing just that.

Jongdae doesn’t push him away, doesn’t protest, doesn’t smack him in the head, and doesn’t panic. Jongdae doesn’t shove him away, doesn’t sputter, doesn’t stop him, and doesn’t yell at him. Jongdae instead just sighs and kisses back tentatively, eyes fluttering closed as he finally stops and just lets Luhan be. Luhan draws away after a moment, breathless and exhilarated and painfully happy, smiling down at Jongdae, who smiles back tentatively.

“So,” Luhan says, lifting a hand to brush back Jongdae’s hair from his face and feeling himself drown slightly in the millions of variations of brown that comprise Jongdae’s eyes. “Can I finally stop chasing you around singing songs now or do you still need convincing?” he asks and Jongdae laughs slightly.

“I don’t know,” Jongdae says and grins up at Luhan. “I may need some more convincing.”

Luhan doesn’t hesitate as he leans down and once again presses his mouth to Jongdae’s, smile evident on both of their lips as Luhan gently threads fingers through soft dark hair and his heart hums in contentment.


“So, this has been a long time coming,” Yixing says as Luhan shows up, on time for once, on Thursday, hand wrapped possessively around Jongdae’s and smiling almost too brilliantly as he walks in without hesitation, pulling Jongdae along and close.

“I am victorious!” Luhan proclaims, throwing himself onto the couch one second and dragging Jongdae down into him the next, grinning idiotically.

“Well, I’m glad to see being in a relationship doesn't affect your insanity in the slightest,” Wufan comments from where he’s stretched on the floor with Chanyeol. “This is so reassuring.”

“Shut up, your boyfriend is a fog horn of sound,” Luhan shoots back, kicking a foot towards Chanyeol as he tries to rearrange Jongdae beside him and is met with significant resistance from his own boyfriend.

“How do you put up with him?” Wufan asks, face disbelieving as he looks at Jongdae, who just looks exasperated as he tries to bat away Luhan’s very prying hands. Though he is also clearly trying not smile like a moron.

“Luhan secretly drugs him every morning,” Baekhyun says, coming from the kitchen with Sehun and a bowl of snacks. Sehun is toting a few beers as Tao follows behind and drinks what may be a Smirnoff. “Obviously.”

“That explains a lot,” Sehun says, setting down the drinks and Luhan lunges forward, grabbing two beers and handing one to Jongdae with a brilliant smile.

“Welcome to the group,” Luhan says brightly, leaning forward and pecking a blushing Jongdae on the cheek before turning to all of his friends. “If any of you try anything, I will fuck you up so hard your mother will never recognize you again.”

“I don’t even bother questioning if he’s serious anymore,” Yixing sighs out, flopping into the armchair and tugging Baekhyun down with him. “What movie are we watching tonight?”

“Tao brought over The Princess Bride,” Sehun says, slipping an arm around Tao’s waist and smiling gently. “We could watch that.”

“The R.O.U.S.’s!” Luhan yells out enthusiastically, looking at Jongdae for no real reason before lunging forward, grabbing a handful of pretzels and offering them to Jongdae. “Here, eat the food. It’s good for you.” Jongdae shoves the pretzels into Luhan’s grinning face, smiling himself as he does so. Amazingly, this just makes Luhan laugh and grin more, dragging Jongdae into a hug and snuggling him into the upholstery. Jongdae lets out a small laugh before it’s muffled into snuffling as Luhan rubs their faces together enthusiastically.

“Wow, and he said we were bad,” Yixing says, watching the exchange with a cross between disgust and amusement.

“Are we late?” Jongin asks, letting himself in, followed by Kyungsoo and Minseok. “I tried calling Lu- oh.” Jongin’s eyes land on the awkwardly feuding couple on the couch. “Well, that explains the lack of response.”

Kyungsoo looks vaguely annoyed. “I thought that-

“There never really was a bet,” Baekhyun says, with a roll of his eyes. “The bet was an excuse for us to put Luhan up to finally doing something about his endless pining. God knows we had to listen to him moon over Jongdae enough when he was wasted. The bet was just a front. All of us knew that except Jongin.” He throws Jongin a disapproving look. “Because Jongin is an idiot.”

“Hey, I can’t help that I get wasted before Luhan does!” Jongin says and huffs, dropping a few cans of beer off in the kitchen. “Besides, no one told me Luhan actually liked Jongdae.”

“You have eyes!” Sehun snaps out at the other. “You should use them sometime.”

“You used to moon over me when you were wasted?” Jongdae asks Luhan, pushing the taller boy off of himself.

Luhan shrugs, pulling back and finally just settling into the couch and nestling with Jongdae comfortably. “No idea,” he says before leaning down and pressing a soft kiss to Jongdae’s nose. “I was wasted, see? But I also used to exasperate Sehun for hours when sober, so it wouldn’t surprise me.”

Jongdae flushes cutely as Kyungsoo looks slightly lost.

“So there wasn’t a bet?” Kyungsoo asks as Minseok brushes past him.

“Oh, no,” Yixing says, snaking his arms around Baekhyun’s waist and pulling the smaller further into his lap. “There was a bet.” He looks across the room to Wufan. “You owe us each $200.”

Wufan sighs as Chanyeol looks at him in shock. Luhan looks over in surprise before bursting into laughter. “I seriously thought Jongdae would cave sooner than he did,” Wufan says, reaching behind himself and dragging out his wallet. “He’s been absently drawing Luhan’s name in incorrect Chinese characters in his anthro notes all semester.”

Luhan looks down at Jongdae, who resembles an uncomfortable tomato nestled into his side. “You’re repulsively adorable.”

Jongdae grins up at him. “You sang love songs at me for almost two months,” Jongdae says in return as he looks up at Luhan cooly. “I think we’re even.”

Luhan laughs delightedly before once again snuggling Jongdae into the seat cushions.

Sehun sighs, hiding his smile, as he tells Tao softly they may be kicking Jongin out for the evening. Tao hides a blush and a smile in Sehun’s shoulder and Chanyeol shoves ‘The Princess Pride’ in the shitty movie player for the shitty television to play while no one except Tao really pays attention to the plot. And Luhan grins like an idiot as he makes fun of the film and everyone around him and grins at Jongdae out of pure happiness. And Jongdae mostly just grins back with the same before poking Luhan in the stomach and the two spend most of the night pelting various people with popcorn.

And both of them couldn’t be happier little shits if they tried.

~ end ~