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Past Crimes

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Past Crimes


Duean had no idea what he had done in his past life to be cursed like this. It had happened so randomly, so out of nowhere, and now it just did not pass, and he was stuck in this farce of an existence, that could only be a punishment for past crimes that he did not remember doing, crimes so hideous that even 5 lives later he was feeling them karma back on him. 

Because Meen. Of all the people in this world, it had to be Meen.

fucking MEEN.

Meen with his adorable smile and his cute as shit dimples. Meen with his soft hair and his softer voice and the "Duean, Duean, Duean!" that made him all mushy inside and that hunted his godforsaken dreams.

Meen with the big eyes and the perfect lashes, who looked at him like he was someone, like he meant something. fucking Meen who gave him the feeling he was worth spending time with and the little he could do was enough.

Meen with the kind words and the sincerity that was too fucking honest and without a shred of doubt.

Meen with his adorable, perfect little outfits that were way too cute and anyhow, how was he allowed to attend this school anyway with his kindness and his belief that humans were good and all the goddamn optimism!


Meen was a fucking menace, that had been sent to torture him and his future. Duean was quite sure of it. There was no other explanation that could explain the cruelty that he had fallen in love with the softest, cutest, most adorable creature that had ever roamed the earth, nay! The universe since its sudden existence.

How was he to cope with that? It plagued his night and day. How could any man ever cope with this knowledge and survive it without turning mad and cruel?

Nothing, in the 23 years of his life had prepared him for Meen and his treacherous ways. 

Meen who had trapped him inside his net of adoring smiles and kind words like a spider its prey.

Duean knew he should retreat, he had tried, and now he was entangled even further, and it scared the ever living shit out of him.

(How had he fallen so fast and so deep? He did not look at anyone else ever since that whole thing had begun. He had a whole campus full of people to fuck, and he did not even look! How could that happen? Was that normal when falling in love? It seemed like a very cruel joke that fate played with him.)

Now, basically half his day was daydreaming about spending time with Meen, sitting close next to him, spending time in his vicinity, because he had become addicted to his calm and serene breathing and the way he looked at a problem or how he explained things, and it probably shouldn't be such a turn on that he was so much more intelligent than him (but it was, it really was) and the other half of his day was spending time with Meen and not doing the things he craved. Because he was depraved, and he could not do that to Meen. He really shouldn't. But he really, really wanted to.

Meen would be his death. It was his punishment for all the things he had ever done wrong, ever since his soul had started to exist.

Duean was sure of it.

He would...

The small "meow" of Meens line messages pulled Duean out of his solitary thoughts. He looked at his friends who all gave him the "You are so whipped" smile, and yes, true, he was, no denying that, they could all go and fuck themselves.

It was a heart. Of course the love of life, fucking pain of his existence would send him a heart. Duean could feel a smile creeping over his whole goddamn face. Before his mind actually registered he sent Meen 10 different hearts back, because of course he did shit like that now, and it was a perfect moment and Duean hated his life.

In his mind he could see Meens adorable little face and the way his dark eyes lit up, and his pretty lips would form the most sincere and happy smile ever once he read the stupid hearts and just the thought of it made his day perfect, that's just the amount of screwed and totally fucked he was in.

And then, because his life was not a travesty anyways, and he needed to be reminded just how deep he was stuck with this now, a note attached to the next line message.

I really love spending time with you. So I have collected some ideas of what we could do together. Please take some time to look through my ideas and use the feedback system attached :)

And because his boyfriend, yes that had happened and no one could ever have him back!, was a fucking mastermind and so clever, and it did not take him days to create stuff like that,  Duean was presented with a survey, a private survey with options to answer and everything was a link, just so all was clear. Because communication was such a huge thing for Meen, and Duean knew it, but it was so hard sometimes when he was in the flow, and he could just think one thing. So of course Meen had created a survey that could not be any more clear and Duean was annoyed with himself that he sometimes couldn't really listen right and Meen had to do this to feel he would be heard.

Duean had tried to work on it but, it still happened, and he was stupid for it, he knew.

There were some really nice ideas, Duean really loved the aquarium, he always did, but he would not go ice skating ever again if he could help it, even if Meen had suggested the Sub-Zero Ice skate Club, it was all kinds of wrong that place and water was to swim in and not to skate  on and that was final.

He put down likes to all the stay at home activities that Meen had listed (yes even for letting Meen learn and play some videogame or read some book (never!) in the meanwhile- because not spending the time next to Meen was not an option in Dueans mind) but it took Duean about a minute to think over the sleepover at Meens house because he knew it would be his death and he would not sleep a second because how could he even sleep next to him after what happened the last time, and it was a horrible idea- so YES, because this was his life now, and he had to live with it.

He mostly was scrolling through the survey and everything went well, he used two of the links to see what Meen had meant and put one NO and one like in after, when he reached the next page:

 cuddle                          oYES oNO oMAYBE

        kiss                              oYES oNO oMAYBE

kiss with tongue           oYES oNO oMAYBE

makeout                       oYES oNO oMAYBE

heavy petting               oYES oNO oMAYBE

jerking each other of     oYES oNO oMAYBE

blow jobs                      oYES oNO oMAYBE


He put his mobile to the side.

Did this just really... it was not... what?

          For a minute or so, he just looked at everything but his telephone.

When he took it back into his hand, he checked, then rechecked that, yes the line had been from Meen. fucking Meen!


Duean nodded to him self (in all honesty he had not seen this coming and now had to decide between dying of a stroke or going to the bathroom and jerk off, because fucking Meen)  saved the survey as far as he had made it. He closed the line conversation with Meen and decided he would think about what this all meant once he was at home. Then he did not go and die of a stroke. Because fucking Meen.


(Later that day, he filled out the rest of the survey and, yes all the goddamn links worked even the once for ... he had forgotten the name for it again, he had done it before, but anyways PICTURES and HOWTODOs and videos, because Meen was anything if not thorough. fucking MEEN. He would be the death of him, he was sure of it. He would die happy. It could be worse)