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lucky i'm in love with my best friend

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You see, you can't marry someone when you're... in love with someone else.

-Captain von Trapp, The Sound of Music

~

William’s holding her hand by the time they exit the bar and telling some story about something that happened when he lived in England, his face and voice animated, and Kara laughs along. His hand isn’t uncomfortable in hers, it’s big and dry and friendly, but some part of her is wondering how much longer she has to keep holding it before it’s socially acceptable to let go. The evening has been fun, but she’s a little tired of the company, has started to imagine going home and curling up in a pile of blankets and watching a movie.

“Kara, this evening has been… lovely,” says William, startling her out of her thoughts by pulling her around so they’re facing each other under the warm glow of a streetlamp. He reaches for her other hand and holds both in his, and his face is so earnest and kind. “Truly. I really enjoy spending time with you.”

Kara chuckles, tries to find it in her to reciprocate. She manages a half-hearted, “Yeah, it was fun,” which isn’t a lie, per se.

William reaches up to sweep a bit of her hair away from her face, and then he’s slowly leaning towards her and Kara thinks oh okay, this is happening and closes her eyes.

It’s not terrible. It’s a very gentle first kiss, soft, and inquisitive, and William’s palm is warm against her cheek. The wrongness of it isn’t in the kiss itself, but something else that’s builds up in her gut at the touch of his lips on hers, fiercer and fiercer until she has to wrench herself away. William smiles at her, and she exhales shakily.

“William…” she says, and he tilts his head slightly. She sighs. “Tonight was nice, I had fun. But I—I can’t do this. I’m sorry.”

William drops his hand from her face. “Oh. That’s—okay.” His voice is tinged with disappointment, and Kara is struck with the need to explain.

 “It’s—it’s not anything you did, it’s just,” she closes her eyes, searching for the right explanation. “You can’t… you can’t date someone when you’re… in love with someone else.”

It isn’t the explanation she means to give. She’s not even fully sure where it comes from, if this is a thought that’s been building all this time or if it’s brand new, but the shape of the words feels right. A moment later, what she’s just said truly hits her, and she claps a hand over her mouth. “Oh my god. Oh my god!”

“Has this—has this just occurred to you now?” William asks, scanning her face with confused amusement. Kara presses her hands to her cheeks and finds them hot.

“No!” she says. “I mean, maybe… okay, like no, but also maybe yes.” She bites her lip, brow furrowing as she looks up at William, whose eyebrows have risen halfway up his forehead. He looks like he’s trying hard not to laugh. “I mean, I really wasn’t trying to lead you on, but it’s just…”

“Really, no need to explain, Kara,” William interrupts. “No hard feelings, I promise. We can go back to being colleagues. Or friends. Whichever you prefer.”

Kara nods. “Okay,” she says, mostly to herself. “Okay. Okay, thank you. That’s good.”

“So… you’re in love.”

“God! I’m—yeah, I guess I am!” Kara rakes her hands through her hair, stumbling backwards a half-step. “Wow. Okay. Um.”

“Well…” William smiles. “Can I at least ask who the lucky guy is?”

“My best friend,” Kara says, and saying it settles something deep inside her. “Probably for a really long time, actually. We—we were going through a rough patch for a bit, and for a while I thought we would never get through it and it almost crushed me, but now… now we’re closer than we’ve ever been and I think—” She realizes that she’s smiling now, probably a stupid, dopey smile, but when she tries to wipe it from her face, she finds she can’t.

“Do you think he loves you too?” William asks. Kara had almost forgotten he was there.

“I think—I think she might,” says Kara, and sees the way William’s eyebrows go up in her peripheral. She thinks of way she sometimes notices Lena looking at her, a strange medley of fondness and pain on her face, the way she always looks away when Kara catches her. “I really think she might.”

“Well, then you’ll have to tell her, won’t you?”

Kara looks at him, alarmed. “I have to tell her. Oh my god, I have to tell her. Should I tell her now? I should tell her now, shouldn’t I? I really need to see her.”

William laughs. “By all means, go to her. Do you need a ride?”

It takes all of Kara’s willpower not to immediately blast off right here in front of William. Instead, she stammers through the first fragile excuse that comes to mind. “No, it’s alright, she—uh, she actually lives right around the, um, corner from here, so I’m just going to—to run there quickly now, it’ll be faster than, um, traffic.”

“Don’t let me keep you then. I’ll see you at the office tomorrow, Kara?”

“Yeah, yeah, see you,” says Kara, already running off. It only takes her a minute or two to find a deserted alleyway, and then she’s blasting off to Lena’s at top speed.

She lands softly on the balcony a moment later. Through the glass doors, Lena sits on her couch, staring deeply into a glass of some dark liquor. She doesn’t notice Kara at first, clearly deeply absorbed in her thoughts, and for a few seconds all Kara can do is stare at her, at the soft curtain of her dark hair and the sharp curve of her jawline and everything from her shoes to her posture that make Lena so undeniably Lena. When she realizes she’s been staring for too long, she shakes herself out of her reverie and knocks gently on the glass.

Immediately, she sees Lena stiffen, watches as something in her face changes and the mask of tough, indifferent businesswoman goes up. It softens slightly when she spots Kara on the balcony, and hurries over to let her in. She’s still in the dress she wore to work, but her feet are bare against the hardwood floor, and her hair is down and wavy.

“Kara!” she says. “I wasn’t expecting to see you tonight. I thought you were on a date with William.”

“I was,” Kara says, striding into the apartment. She pulls out her glasses, taps the side. Lena’s eyes follow her as the suit retracts, perhaps with a little too much intensity. “It just ended.”

“How was it?” Lena asks, and Kara notices the way her hands tighten slightly around her glass, the incremental increase of her heartbeat.

“It was good.” Kara flops down onto Lena’s couch, and Lena sits beside her with decidedly more caution, poising herself on the very edge of the seat. “We got burgers for dinner, we played pool again, had a few drinks.”

“Oh?” says Lena in a careful voice, like it’s a fight to get the tone just right. She has her chin tipped intentionally up in the way she does when she’s restraining emotion, and Kara is struck by the way she’s memorized all of Lena’s mannerisms.

“And then, at the end of the evening, he kissed me,” she continues.

Lena opens her mouth, then closes it again. She looks down at her glass, swirls the scotch around a few times. “Oh,” she finally manages, her voice faint. “That’s—that’s great, Kara.”

“And then I told him that I couldn’t go out with him anymore.” She’s already looking at Lena when Lena’s head snaps back up, her eyes going round as they meet Kara’s. “Because you can’t date someone when you’re in love with someone else.”

“Oh,” says Lena for the third time, after a long silence.

“Lena…” Kara starts.

“Wh—Who?”

Kara reaches over and plucks the glass from Lena’s hands, placing it out of reach on the coffee table. “I think you know that already.” When Lena continues to stare at her, she heaves a sigh, looking away. “I feel like I should be scared but… we’ve been through so much together already, and I can’t help thinking that if you don’t feel the same, we can work through that too. You’re the most important person in the world to me, you’re my best friend, Lena, and I just—I needed you to know. I don’t want to keep any secrets from you, not anymore. William kissed me and then it just hit me and then I came straight here, and honestly he was really good about it, he…”

She risks a look up at Lena again, and her rambling immediately stops when she notices the way Lena’s mouth is hanging slightly open, the way her eyes have gone red and glassy with tears. As the first few tears slide down her cheeks, Kara instinctively scootches over, reaching for her.

“Shoot,” says Kara, her hands coming up to cradle Lena’s face. She wipes away the tears with her thumbs, then realizes that maybe that’s not what Lena wants and goes to pull them away. Before she can get very far, Lena grabs her wrists and holds her hands steady, her chest moving rapidly. She scans Kara’s face frantically with red eyes.

“Hey, hey, what is it?” says Kara. “Are you okay?”

“Tell me—tell me this is real,” Lena manages, a tremor in her voice. “Tell me I’m not dreaming and you’re not with William and I’m not going to wake up and realize it’s all just…” She presses one of Kara’s hands into the corner of her lips, not so much a kiss as a reassurance. “It’s all just…”

“It’s real,” Kara says. “This is real, and I’m here. Lena—” 

“You love me?” Lena whispers.

Kara cups Lena’s face in her hands again, a little more fiercely this time, and Lena’s grip tightens on her wrists. “I love you,” she confirms around the lump in her throat that’s started to form at Lena’s tears. She can feel them, damp against her wrists. “I—I didn’t always see it, but I have always loved you. You have always, always meant the world to me, Lena. There’s nothing I wouldn’t do for you.”

Lena closes her eyes tightly, and Kara watches the way the line of her mouth wobbles. She traces gentle patterns on Lena’s cheekbones as Lena fights back tears.

“I never—I never thought that you could love me the way… the way that I…” Her eyes open, and despite how red and puffy they’ve gone, Kara can’t help but think the pale green of Lena’s irises is the most beautiful thing she’s ever seen. She’s flown around everything inch of the planet and several others and she still hasn’t found anything that compares to Lena’s eyes, or to the watery smile Lena manages to give her now. “The way that I love you,” Lena finishes in a broken whisper.

Kara pulls her forward to plant a kiss on Lena’s forehead. “But I do,” she whispers against Lena’s hairline, and she feels rather than sees the moment Lena loses composure completely, the moment that the sobs rattling her chest erupt out. She tugs Lena into her arms, holding her tightly as Lena wraps her arms around Kara’s waist and buries her face in Kara’s collarbone. There are quiet tears sliding down her own cheeks and into Lena’s hair, and Kara rests her cheek on the top of Lena’s head and rocks her slightly as she continues talking. “I know you’ve been hurt a lot in the past. I know I’ve hurt you a lot in the past. But I want you to know that I will do everything in my power to stop that from ever happening again. You deserve to be loved, Lena.”

“I’ve hurt you too,” says Lena, her voice muffled in Kara’s neck. “I’ve hurt you so much and I will never, never forgive myself for that.”

“You’re lucky then,” Kara says. “You have me to forgive you for you. It’s all in the past now. I understand why you did the things that you did, that your intent was always to make people’s lives better. And I’ve always believed in second chances, Lena. I forgave you a long time ago.”

She feels Lena’s hands clench the back of her shirt, a non-verbal plea not to let go. I won’t, thinks Kara, I won’t, ever.

Kara isn’t sure how long they sit there, holding each other. They hold each other until the hitching of Lena’s breath starts to slow down, until Kara can tell that she’s stopped crying and is simply sitting in the warmth of Kara’s embrace, her breath shaky but deep and her cheek pressed into Kara’s collarbone as she gives the occasional sniffle. Kara pulls a few tissues from the Kleenex box on the table and hands them to her.

“I’m sorry,” Lena says finally, voice hoarse, and when Kara looks down at her, her eyes are closed. “I’m a mess.”

“I love you,” says Kara. “In every state. Never be sorry.”

 Lena laughs, her mouth curving up into a smile against Kara’s neck. “God, I was… I was driving myself insane sitting here, thinking about you having a perfect time on your date with William. And then you came here and started talking about it and I thought, is there any torture worse than this?”

“It wasn’t a bad date, overall,” says Kara thoughtfully. “William really is quite the gentleman.”

“Ugh, stop.” Lena hits her shoulder. “Hearing you talking about it makes me want to drink myself into a stupor.”

“Is that what you were doing when I got here?”

“Trying to, anyhow. I was having trouble even convincing myself to do that. Though I likely would have done something embarrassing like drunk dial you if I had, so it’s probably for the best that I couldn’t quite manage it.”

“I don’t know, that could have been interesting,” Kara teases.

“No, it would not have been. I probably would have confessed all my feelings or cried at you. I can be a bit of a weepy drunk.”

“You’re weepy sober too,” Kara points out, and Lena scowls and hides her face in Kara’s neck again. Kara kisses the top of her head. “So, you’ve known for a while, then? That you loved me?”

Lena is silent for so long that Kara thinks she isn’t going to answer. When she does finally speak, her voice is cautious, words placed with intention. “I hated myself for it, for a long time. I spent… a lot of time trying crush all my feelings into little boxes and pretend that I wasn’t aware of how I felt about you. I didn’t—I couldn’t bear the idea of ruining the one good thing that I always seemed to have going for me in my life with my feelings because I knew—or I thought I knew—you would never feel the same.”

Her words lodge themselves somewhere deep in Kara’s chest and squeeze, and all Kara can do to quell the ache is to hold Lena impossibly closer and bury her face in Lena’s hair. It smells like her shampoo, warm lavender, sweet and familiar. “I’m sorry,” she whispers. “I’m so sorry.”

“What are you sorry for, Kara?”

“For not seeing it sooner? I’ve always been kind of bad at relationships, but ours has always been one of the most important ones in my life. When you were, um, going off the rails a bit, I was so desperate to do anything that I could to make you better, to bring you back.” She breathes out a laugh. “A few times, actually, Alex seemed confused that I would go to the extremes I did for a friend. But I thought that was just the kind of friendship we had, the kind that feels like heartbreak when it’s over. Which is kind of silly, now that I think about it, because I’ve never had any other friendship like that.”

“Me neither,” Lena whispers. “I’ve never had anyone fight for me the way you do.” She hesitates, then hurries on in a rush. “Sometimes I wonder if part of the reason it was so easy to succumb to my hurt when I found out you were Supergirl was that of course you would have to let me down eventually, because no one is truly that good. But you are. You’re so good, Kara, you’re the best thing I have.”

Kara chuckles a little at that. “I’m not exactly perfect. I have lots of flaws.”

“So does everybody. So do I. I’m mostly flaws.”

“Well, that’s just not true at all. You’ve been dealt a lot of shitty hands, but you always come out fighting. I love that about you.”

“I love everything about you. I love you, Kara Danvers.” Lena finally lifts her head from Kara’s chest so they’re eye to eye, and Kara thinks she’s never seen anyone as beautiful as Lena now, with her eyes smudged dark with ruined makeup and her cheek red where it’s been pressed to Kara’s chest and her hair rumpled and wavy. She’s so pretty, and Kara’s entire body thrums with the joy of it.

“Can I kiss you now?” she asks.

Lena’s eyes drop to her lips, and Kara watches as she licks her own lips, for once devoid of the dark lipstick she always wears. “Please,” breathes Lena.

And Kara doesn’t know how she hasn’t realized until tonight just how badly she wants this, how it never occurred to her that this was the missing piece to everything all along.

It’s soft, the brushing of their lips together, and charged, and Kara thinks that maybe she could die like this. A Luthor ridding the world of a Super at last, using only her lips and her tongue and the hand that tangles into Kara’s hair. She imagines the headlines, laughs into Lena’s mouth at the thought.  

“What?” Lena asks, pulling away a fraction of an inch.

“You’re just beautiful,” Kara tells her. “Have I ever told you you’re the most beautiful person I’ve ever met?” Lena’s cheeks go deliciously pink, and Kara has to kiss them, and then she has to kiss the tip of Lena’s nose and her eyelids and the side of her jaw and the pink curve of her mouth again and again and again until Lena’s climbing into her lap and grinning into her mouth and Kara is never, never going to get tired of this.

“You’re perfect,” Kara mumbles into her mouth, feels the way Lena’s breath hitches. “You’re so fucking perfect.”

Lena makes a small, needy sort of sound in the back of her throat that makes Kara want to throw her down on the couch and suck pretty marks into her neck, and the thought is so vivid that she has to pull back for a second. Lena whimpers a little when she pulls away, her hips spasming just the tiniest bit.

“Should we—should we talk about this?” Kara pants, and Lena looks at her like she’s grown another head.

“We just did. For half an hour.”

“Yeah, but that was about, you know, like how much we love each other and stuff. This, um, this is a different thing.”

“What I want right now, darling,” says Lena, resting her forehead against Kara’s and her voice going dangerously low, “is for you to fuck me. We can talk more later.”

Kara forgets how to breathe. Lena pulls her back in for another deep, slow kiss that burns right down to her core and why haven’t they been doing this all along? She wraps her arms tightly around Lena’s waist and kisses her like she’ll never get another chance.

Lena keeps making little sounds that are somewhere between gasps and moans and it’s really distracting. When Kara pulls back a second time, Lena’s mouth moves to her neck and sucks at her pulse point, and Kara’s head falls back against the couch, her hands digging into Lena’s waist. “Should we… move this… somewhere else?” she manages, as Lena continues to do unfair things with her tongue. “Bedroom?”

Lena hums, and Kara feels the vibration of it. “Too far.”

“It’s, uh, pretty exposed out here,” says Kara, sparing a glance to Lena’s huge window and the lights of National City that sparkle below.

“We’re thirty floors up,” says Lena, pulling away to look at Kara. “Who’s going to see us? Supergirl?” The smirk she gives Kara at her own joke feels almost cruel.

“Oh my god,” Kara says. “I come by here as Supergirl all the time. What if I had caught you… you know…?” The thought alone makes her cheeks burn, and Lena laughs at her.

“Free show for you, I guess.”

“Lena!”

“This is not something I do regularly with a whole lot of people, Kara.”

“No,” Kara breathes, “me neither.”

“Don’t worry about it, then,” says Lena, and leans forwards to kiss her again. She stops a millimeter away from Kara’s lips, and pulls back, looking concerned. Kara follows her lips with a pout. “Unless you’re uncomfortable here,” Lena says. “We can move it to the bedroom if you’d rather. Or stop, if you need.”

Kara responds by lifting Lena and flipping them both over, and Lena yelps in surprise as her back lands on the couch. She reaches up immediately to drape her arms around Kara’s neck.

“Here is just fine,” says Kara.

Lena runs her fingers down the side of Kara’s face, the hint of her nails sending a shiver down the length of Kara’s spine, her lips kissed and pink and quirked up in an unbearable smirk and says, “Here it is, then.”

She drops her hands to Kara’s waist and tugs her blouse out from where it’s tucked into her slacks. Her hands reach up to undo the buttons, slipping slightly against the silk in her hurry. “Off,” she says, and Kara’s more than happy to sit back, straddling Lena’s waist as she sits half-up to push the blouse off Kara’s shoulders. She slides it slowly down Kara’s arms, eyes fixed on Kara’s, and then tosses it to the floor. Without breaking eye contact, she unclips Kara’s bra and discards that, too.

Only then does she look down, and her eyes darken visibly as they roam Kara’s torso. She exhales, shaky and like she still can’t quite believe this is real, and her fingers brush the underside of Kara’s breast with delicate reverence. Kara holds back a whimper.

For a moment, Lena simply observes, exploring with shining eyes. Her hands are spread gently on Kara’s ribcage, fingers drifting across the ridges of her stomach, up the swell of her breasts. Kara watches her, silent and thrumming with tension, hands digging into Lena’s hips. She can hear Lena’s heartbeat pounding in her chest.

Then something breaks. Lena lunges forwards, her mouth pressing into Kara’s collarbone with a scrape of teeth and following pass of her tongue, her thumb brushing across Kara’s nipple. Kara gasps, jolts, arches forwards.

“Mine,” says Lena into her neck, and Kara feels the word in several different ways; the buzzing of Lena’s voice straight into her bones, the brushing of her lips as she speaks, the word itself that sends another electric jolt straight to her core. “Mine, mine.”

“Possessive, are we?” Kara laughs breathlessly, her hands moving to Lena’s shoulders.

Lena breaks away from Kara’s neck with a soft pop to glare at her. “An hour ago, you were on a date with someone else. William.” Her face scrunches adorably in distain when she says it, and Kara laughs.

“Why are you bringing William into this? Just when things are heating up?” She leans in close, pressing her forehead to Lena’s, their eyes meeting from millimetres away, and whispers, “I don’t want him here. I just want you.”

“You kissed him,” says Lena, but there’s a smile fighting its way onto her face, and she raises one hand to stroke Kara’s cheek.

He kissed me,” Kara says. “And then I came straight here to kiss you.” She pauses. “Actually, if you think about it, you kind of kissed him by extension. Since he kissed me, and then I kissed you.”

Ew.” Lena shoves her away. “Why would you say that? That’s so gross.”

“You brought it up!”

“I hate you.”

“No, you love me,” says Kara, drawing the word love out long, and Lena laughs loudly and grabs her by the back of the neck and pulls her back in for another scorching kiss, all teeth and tongue and Lena’s hand massaging her breast and tweaking her nipple in a way that goes straight to her clit.

“You’re an idiot,” she says into Kara’s mouth. “I love you so much.”

“I love you, too,” Kara gasps, and Lena moans a little.

“God, say that again.”

“I love you?” Kara asks, and Lena hums mmhm, her hips rolling under Kara’s. Kara grins into the kiss and whispers, “I love you.” She moves her lips to Lena’s jaw, under her ear, across the tendons of her neck, trailing open-mouthed kisses and saying, “I love you, I love you, I love you.

Lena tilts her head back and lets Kara kiss it, falling back against the couch, one arm flung over her head, her eyes shut and her cheeks dimpled in an uncontrollable grin. “I don’t think… I’ll ever get tired… of hearing you say that,” she gets out, and gasps as Kara’s teeth graze her pulse point.

“I’m going to say it all the time,” Kara says. “All day, every day. You’ll be so sick of it, just you wait.” She pulls back, surveys Lena sprawled on the couch, red marks starting to form on her neck. “You’re wearing too many clothes,” she says.

“We’ll have to do something about that, won’t we, darling?” says Lena, opening dark, deep, dangerous eyes.

“Very much so, yes,” Kara says, clambering off the couch and reaching a hand out to help her up. Lena slides off the couch onto shaky legs, and Kara immediately pulls her in close enough for their chests to press together. Lena’s breath catches. Standing this close, their height difference seems more pronounced, and Kara notices the way Lena has to tip her chin up slightly for their eyes to meet.

“How does this dress work?” Kara whispers, almost against Lena’s lips. Lena closes her eyes and supresses a shiver.

The dress is simple black and form fitting, with a neckline that would be modest to anyone who wasn’t obsessed with her collarbones. It hugs the soft curves of her hips deliciously, and normally Kara could spend hours watching her move in it, (and if the amount she stares at Lena’s figure wasn’t an indicator that maybe her feelings fell a little deeper than friendship, she doesn’t know what is) but right now she’s more interested in seeing it on the floor.

“There’s a zipper,” Lena breathes. “Down the back.”

Kara reaches for it, tugs the zipper down slowly, her eyes fixed on Lena’s, which are mostly consumed by black. Lena steps back to slide the dress over her shoulders, lets it fall to the floor, and steps out of it. She looks up at Kara, her arms crossed slightly over her chest. Kara’s fingers drift over her bra, skimming the lace that hugs the curve of her breasts, and Lena’s arms fall to her waist, her fingers digging into impenetrable skin as her breath hitches.

“Can I take this off?” Kara asks.

Lena nods, biting her lip.

Kara undoes the bra carefully, slides the straps down Lena’s arms, their eyes still locked in heavy, elastic tension. It joins the steadily growing pile of clothes on the floor.

And Kara could probably stand here for hours, taking in the sight of Lena’s pale skin and soft curves, running her fingers and then her tongue over them, but Lena’s already dragging her back in to kiss her, pushing her back towards the couch, and that’s fantastic too, because Lena’s talented with her tongue in ways that Kara has never even let herself imagine, is probably talented in even more ways that Kara would be happy to explore.

Lena, however, seems to have other ideas. She’s shoving Kara back down onto the couch and straddling her without their lips ever breaking contact, her hand shaking slightly as she slips it between them to undo Kara’s pants and plunge her fingers down to slide through slick wetness without hesitation. Kara jolts, cries out into Lena’s mouth, and Lena moans back at the sound, touch, tongue grazing Kara’s bottom lip.

“Okay?” says Lena, kissing down to Kara’s neck again. She sucks enthusiastically, hard enough to bruise, and not for the first time, Kara wishes her skin would show it. She wants to wear this wonderful, crazy feeling on her person for as long as humanly possible. Kryptonian-ly possible? Either way.

“God, perfect, please just—”

Already, Lena’s fingers are sliding tight, fast circles around her clit, her mouth hot and wet below Kara’s ear, and Kara gasps, “Yeah, like that, like that,” and she can feel it building already, the intoxicating combination of Lena’s weight in her lap and her mouth on Kara’s neck and the smell of her skin and the perfect motion of her fingers, and it barely takes any time at all before Kara is seeing stars, hips bucking as she comes with a choked cry into Lena’s hand.

Lena’s mouth comes back to hers to kiss her through it, her fingers still moving lazily, and Kara grips her waist and kisses back deeply until the aftershocks slow and her hips stop twitching. Lena removes her hand, pulling back to pop her fingers into her mouth and raise her eyebrows.

“Good?” she says, tongue swirling between wet fingers. Kara follows the motion, mesmerized.

“Amazing,” says Kara, leaning in to bite Lena’s neck, something visceral awake and alive in her gut in a way that it hasn’t been in months, years. Maybe ever. “You’re amazing. Incredible. Something else.”  She doesn’t remember the last time she was this alive. She pulls back to grin at Lena, and says, “My turn, now.”

Lena laughs when Kara flips her over, but it chokes off into a gasp when Kara runs her tongue down the length of Lena’s neck. She dips into the hollow at the base of Lena’s neck, sucks below her collarbones. Lena moans when Kara’s mouth finds her breast, her tongue swirling around one of Lena’s nipples and her fingers tweaking the other, and really, it’s a shame that her tongue can’t be more than one place at once, with the sounds that Lena’s making. She spends several blissful moments with her tongue on Lena’s breasts, around the soft curves of them and again and again on her pink nipples until Lena twitches underneath her, gasping and dragging her nails across Kara’s back with please please.

Her stomach is soft, and Kara kisses that too, finds a tiny mole to suck gently below her belly button, runs her tongue over the lines left over from her clothes, over pale stretch marks, exploring until Lena is huffing impatiently and whining her name. Finally, she slides between Lena’s legs and hooks her fingers under the band of Lena’s underwear, pulls them down the shapely length of her legs and drops them onto the floor.

Lena looks down at her from where her head is propped against the couch arm, her chest heaving, her hands tangling themselves into Kara’s hair as Kara kisses the insides of her thighs. She’s a vision, flushed all the way from her cheeks to her chest, and Kara just wants to make her feel as amazing as possible, wants to make her throb, wants never to stop. She hooks both of Lena’s legs over her shoulders and dives in, moaning at the first taste of Lena against her tongue, and Lena cries out, her back leaving the couch as she arches into Kara’s mouth at the touch of her tongue and the vibration of her voice.

And Kara never wants to leave this moment, where every sense is consumed by Lena, Lena, Lena. She wants to spend eternity here, seeing hearing touching smelling tasting.

“That’s so good, that’s so good, you’re so good,” Lena gasps, as Kara’s tongue explores, dipping inside and coming back to swipe over her clit. Lena moans, and arches again, and Kara puts one hand on her hips to steady them.

“Can you—I want you—inside, please,” Lena manages, and Kara obediently slips two fingers in, feeling the way Lena’s hips roll forward to meet her and the long, pleased moan that escapes her when Kara curls her fingers and presses with each movement. Her hands tighten in Kara’s hair, and the pull is so good that she wishes that she could feel the pain of it, too.

 She moves her tongue faster when Lena’s legs start to shake on her shoulders, and when Lena’s vocalisations have been reduced to high pitched gasps she looks up through her eyelashes, meets Lena’s dark eyes, and presses deep with her fingers and sucks.

Lena’s voice chokes out, her head falling back, and then she’s coming into Kara’s mouth, clit twitching. It’s long, drawn out, a moment of suspended glory as Lena pulses around her fingers, against her tongue, her jagged moans near sobs. Kara stays between her legs, her tongue swirling gently, until Lena finally tugs on her hair. Kara shifts up to kiss her again, sweet and unhurried.

Lena laughs when she pulls away, breathless, and Kara rests their foreheads together, interlacing one of her hands with Lena’s between them. “You’re crying,” she says, touching her fingers to Lena’s temple, where tear tracks disappear into her hair. She presses the fingers to her tongue and tastes salt, and Lena smiles at her, running her fingers through the Kara’s hair, again and again.

“I never thought I’d have this,” she says. “I thought it would stay a fantasy forever. I thought I’d always be stuck wanting something I couldn’t have, someone who would never love me back. But… here you are.”

“Here I am,” says Kara. “I can’t believe you want me.”

“I do. More than you can imagine. You’re everything I’ve ever wanted. I’ve always wanted you, I want you so much. I love you so much.”

“I love you so much, too. You’re just so—I just love you.” Kara says, and then giggles. “Are you sick of hearing it yet?”

“Mm, not quite,” says Lena. “Better say it again.”

So Kara does. Again, and then again. She kisses Lena’s temples and her neck and her mouth and carries her to the bedroom and presses her into the mattress and tells her once more, I love you, beyond time, beyond reason.