Kakashi wasn't always such a nosy parent. In fact, he was actually quite the complete opposite. He let naruto do what he wanted as long as he wasn't harming others, and always encouraged him to be a critical thinker and thoroughly think through his decisions. If anything, iruka was the nosy and more strict one, but even he laid off once naruto reached a certain age.
But kakashi knew how sneaky teenagers were, and iruka was naive. He didn't even know why he suddenly got the urge to go and snoop through naruto's room, but once he did, he was quite glad. Naruto was seventeen years old, far from being a grown man and far from being a little kid, so kakashi wasn't that surprised when he spotted a half empty box of condoms shoved into his drawer. But, he was excited to show iruka and rub it in his face that he was right about naruto not being a little innocent kid anymore.
Their son was currently still at school, staying after for his mandatory lacrosse practice, and his dad's were lounging around at home, awaiting his arrival, when kakashi decided to do his search. Iruka had wanted no part it in, saying that naruto had nothing to hide, so when he saw kakashi enter the kitchen as he whipped up something to eat with a smug smile across his face, he raised an eyebrow and asked, "What?"
Finally revealing what he had in his hands, the silver haired man sighed gleefully. "I told you. Naruto had these in his room, and its a twelve pack. There's only four left,"
Iruka made a disgusted face and turned away from the box. "Gross! Naruto's our son, I didn't need to know that he was getting it on underneath our roof -" He gagged, causing his partner to roll his eyes and place the condoms on the table. "He's seventeen. Next year he'll be eighteen and before you know it he's going to be in college. I just wanted to prove to you he's not an innocent little boy anymore. Though, it does raise the question as to who he's sleeping with,"
Iruka stopped his fake gagging to think about it as well. "Yeah.. naruto really isn't the type to just go and sleep around with randoms. Or at least, he doesn't seem like it.. wait, naruto hasn't even introduced a girlfriend to us!" A gasp left the tanned males mouth at this sudden realization, "He doesn't even hang out with anyone, except for sakura and sasuke!"
"You think.... god, sakura? She's head over heels for sasuke!" Kakashi exclaimed, and iruka shook his head. "No, she's over him now, remember? And naruto had that huge crush on sakura back when he was in middle school. Don't you remember the chocolate heart he got her?"
Kakashi rubbed his temples. "God... that is gross... I've known sakura since she was in diapers."
"Okay wait, there's no reason for us to jump to conclusions, right? Neither of us have seen them together doing anything remotely couplish at all. It might be someone else," Much to naruto's distaste, both of his parents worked at his highschool. Kakashi being a typical unhinged art teacher who spoke too much about converting to full leftism, and Iruka being a dutiful assistant principal. The only perk was that he could easily get out of trouble without facing any major consequences. And the perk for his parents? They knew almost every detail to highschool drama there was. Actually, they frequently gossiped out it. High Schoolers were so interesting. There were so many drugs, pregnancy tests, and std's that kakashi and iruka could hardly keep track.
Suddenly the door knob jingled and indicated to both males that naruto was home. Iruka being the sensible one, grabbed the condoms and began to rush up the stairs to put them back where they were. While he did so, their blonde son opened up the door. "I'm home!" He called, and when he stepped in, kakashi noticed a familiar blonde follow him inside.
The girl had her long blonde hair tied into two pigtails with barrets on either side. She had sharp and pretty eyeliner on with an excessive amount of blush that just seemed to.. work for her, and her lips tinted with a cute pinkish color. She wore high black boots that stopped mid thigh with a pretty grey mini skirt that probably was much too short for school, and the black cropped halter top that she was wearing definitely wasn't much better. "Hi kakashi!" The girl beamed, batting her eyelashes at the older man.
Iruka bounded down the stairs and raised his eyebrow at the girl standing in his kitchen. Almost immediately she broke out into a full smile and turned her attention to the other male. "Oh! Hello Iruka! Naruto told me to drop the formalities so I hope it's okay," She giggled and looked around the house, her eyes wide. "Ugh, naruto your house is totally to die for. Why is this the first time i'm being invited over? I'm totally facetiming hinata in your room! Where is it? Upstairs?" She doesn't wait for a response as she tosses her bookbag on the floor in favor of her purse, and rushing up the stairs.
"Sorry for not asking! She needed a ride home and decided to come over so that we could study for our language test for tomorrow," Naruto explained, and his parents exchanged suspecting glances.
"Fine, but.. leave the door open." Iruka stated, and kakashi nudged him for being so obvious. Naruto cocked an eyebrow and shrugged his shoulders, before following ino upstairs.
When he was far enough upstairs, the married couple huddled together fast. "Ino yamanaka? You know the things that they say about her?" Iruka whispered, as if he was panicking. "Don't do that. Kids spread rumours about each other all the time and ino could just be an innocent victim of it. She seemed nice and if her and naruto are an item then.. it's only right for us to support them."
Iruka rolled his eyes at kakashi being the voice of reason. "Let's just hope she doesn't end up pregnant."
Ino didn't end up pregnant, thankfully. She came, made a ridiculous amount of noise in naruto's bedroom, laughing, squealing, stomping, came downstairs for dinner, and went home, so she was easily ruled out. Naruto was definitely not seeing her, thank god.
The parents moved to spying on their son in school, but naruto's circle was small. He had most classes with sasuke and sakura, and in he never really walked with anyone. In lunch, he sat with sasuke, sakura, kiba, neji, ino, and this nice boy named haku who was dating a boy from the college who was far too old for him.
On tuesday though, they spotted a familiar tuff of blonde hair in front of an overly shy girl, hinata hyuuga. She was insanely talented and really smart, and she had looks to die for. Naruto had her pressed up against his locker with his hands on either side of her head. He was saying something to her that had her face red, and in an attempt to catch him red handed, kakashi rushed over. Hinata squealed and wriggled away, "B-Bye naruto," She managed to get out before practically bolting down the hallway.
Naruto looked confused. "Why'd you do that?"
Kakashi looked taken aback, and iruka began walking towards them. "You were– you're dating hinata, right?"
"What?" Naruto chuckled, making a move to open up his locker and grab out a notebook. "No. I was just telling her thanks because she let me and ino borrow her study notes. If it weren't for her we both would've failed. I guess it just looked weird because she tripped and I didn't want her to fall, so I kinda pushed her back I guess? But why are you guys so concerned about my love life? I don't have a girlfriend,"
Kakashi and iruka exchanged glances and the more level headed parent spoke up. "We.. just, got curious! We have to go!"
They rushed off then.
It was a bit disappointing, really. Hinata and naruto would've absolutely been adorable together. Hinata's shy demeanor and cute personality definitely would've gone well with naruto. Ino though, she was definitely a bullet dodged. She was pretty and sweet but definitely too high maintenance for someone like naruto.
Their quest to figure out who naruto was seeing almost came to an end before they spotted their son getting out of sakura haruno's pink jeep. Now sakura? She was gorgeous. Her dyed pink her was butt length, and the pink color was so vibrant and she kept it dyed forever so nobody knew what her natural color was, but it always was so healthy and shiny. She complimented it with a pretty pink bow and kept it pulled back and away from her face. She was always dressed nicely too. Dressed mainly, cause she layered them when it got too cold, weather it be with stocking or just with a regular pair of leggings, she made sure to look cute and warm at the same time.
Naruto and sakura were best friends, but one thing sakura did not mess around with was her jeep. She'd been saving up for the car since sixth grade, and was able to purchase it her sophomore year of highschool, and took great care of it. Weekly cleanings, having her dad go to the auto part store with her, and always making sure her oil was changed. Her biggest thing though, was that you could absolutely not ride in the car if you were sick. And this was a huge deal because naruto had a cold. Sneezing, coughing, awful fevers, yet there sakura was, rolling into their driveway with their son in the car.
"Kakashi! Naruto's in sakura's jeep!" Iruka called, throwing on his slippers and robe and rushing outside, barely giving his silver haired husband time to think, but he soon followed after. He rushed up to the car where naruto was getting out, and panted as he asked, "Are you guys dating?" And sakura burst out into laughter before naruto could get a word out.
"No! Gosh iruka, why'd you think that?" She asked, and kakashi responded for him. "Naruto's sick... and you let him ride in your car?"
She sighed and flipped her hair. "I know. I was going to make this loser walk but he almost fainted from his fever and i'm not a total monster. Though, if he would've puked in my car, you two would've been paying to have my seats professionally cleaned." She giggled, and naruto flipped her off, going to lean on kakashi for support. "Love you naruto! See you tomorrow!" With that, she sped off.
"You guys being obsessed with my dating life is so weird. I told you both, I don't have a girlfriend!" He sniffled. "But can you carry me inside? I know i'm seventeen but I don't weigh that much," He looked at both their parents but iruka pretended not to meet his gaze. Kakashi rolled his eyes and bent over, allowing their son to climb on. Naruto chuckled and his dads sighed. "If you were dating, would you tell us?" Iruka finally asked. Naruto could be seen nodding. "And you know everything there is about being safe, right? Condoms, talking about std's, all of it, right?"
"You guys don't have to worry about me," Naruto said, leaning his head downwards so that it rested on kakashi's shoulder. "I'll always be safe. You guys raised me well."
That thought reassured the couple, and they backed off. Naruto had to miss school the following day due to his cold which he worsened by going out after being explicitly told not too, so he was resting at home all day long. Kakashi met iruka at their truck and decided on spoiling their son with some jajangmyeon from his favorite korean restaurant. "He's gonna be so happy!" Iruka beamed as he got the noodles. Kakashi sniffed them and smiled. "They smell delicious, gosh,"
"Whose car is that in the driveway?" The tanner male asked, pointing out a sleek black audi. Such an expensive car. Iruka shrugged. "Naruto probably had neji bring over some homework. You know the hyuugas are drowning in money."
Kakashi nodded at that and walked up to the front door, getting his keys out to unlock it. As he and iruka got closer, they noted that their was obnoxiously loud music playing from inside. Sighing, kakashi unlocked the door, whilst iruka used his phone to turn off the music via bluetooth, but before he could they noticed —
Naruto, and sasuke uchiha, his childhood best friend, were completely naked. Sasuke seemed to be.. to be blunt, riding naruto, his head thrown back as he rolled his hips which naruto gripped onto. Clothes were tossed all over the living room, and the worse part was that it was the couch that they had to be doing it on. Iruka screamed, and turned off the music instantly, which startled to the boys. Kakashi just seemed to be in complete disbelief at what he had witnessed. Obviously they turned away, and sasuke could be heard yelling. "What's wrong with you!? You said they'd be gone for at least four hours!"
"They were supposed to be! Wait you don't have to leave—"
"Yes I do! God, where's my shirt!? Nevermind, i'm taking this hoodie."
"You can turn around now!" Sasuke yelled directed towards iruka and kakashi. He was pulling a hoodie over his neck and hurriedly pulling on his shoes. "Uhm, don't tell my brother I was here. I'm not supposed to be seeing naruto and I told my entire family I was at a study group. It'd look bad if they found out I was riding dick in my principal and teacher's living room." He remained as stoic as ever, and naruto grabbed his arm, his pajama pants now on. "You don't have to leave—"
Sasuke wriggled away instantly and grabbed his back off the floor. "God, you're so dumb!"
The door slammed, and naruto threw himself on the couch, screaming into a pillow. "Why'd you guys have to come home!?"
"Why were you having sex in the living room!?" Iruka yelled back.
"Is sasuke the one you've been sleeping with? I thought you guys were friends..." Kakashi wondered out loud.
"No – yes, we didn't mean to have sex in the living room, but he came by to give me my work and he started talking about how stressed he was and it kind of just happened down here, but usually we do it in my room–"
"Usually!?" His dads sputtered in unison.
"Yes, I lied to you both. Well, technically, I didn't. I am not dating a girl.. but me and sasuke are sort of.. together. We're exclusive but we can't really have a label or his brother will beat me to death and thats the last thing I need to worry about." He sighed, dropped the pillow he'd been abusing.
"I can't — sasuke's gay?"
Naruto snorted. "Hella. Did you guys really think I was just friends with a guy like sasuke? His jeans are tighter than ino's and we literally took a shower together last week."
"You said it was because you needed to clean up after lacrosse!"
"Sasuke doesn't even play lacrosse."
His dads were absolutely astonished. Their son was dating his best friend for god knows how long and they weren't even smart enough to catch on to it. They really were dumb. They thought of literally everyone else except for the one guy that made sense. They hung out a ton, sasuke slept over a lot, they were always cooped up in naruto's room.. sasuke would come to school with mystery hickeys all the time and would never tell anyone where they were from, because naruto was giving them to him.
Kakashi sighed and sat down on the couch, and iruka looked at it and shook his head. "We've done it on here too, don't shame naruto,"
"You guys are both gross."
"Says the one who got caught railing some dude on the family couch. At least were married," Kakashi said nonchalantly. Naruto laughed at that comment and looked up at them, slightly nervous. "So.. you guys don't care? About.. me and sasuke? I know you're both gay but still..."
"Are you kidding? Of course we don't care. Though, id prefer if you'd invite him and his family over. We need to get to know him if he's going to be a big part of your life," Iruka said, kakashi agreeing as per usual.
"Fine, but if itachi tries to shoot me it's on you two."
"Deal!" Iruka clapped his hands together. "Who wants dinner? I have jajangmyeon!"