Work Header

The "Kids" are Alright (Even if they're both over 100)

Work Text:

Scrooge woke up without any aches or pains, but with an amazingly annoying erection. 


That’s what happens when one gets stuck as a teenager, he supposed. 


In Florida, both he and Goldie assumed that when everything shook out, everyone, including them, would end up their original ages. They had clearly assumed incorrectly. Goldie and Scrooge had somehow remained teenagers, even after that last dip in the pool. Nothing had changed them back, and now, a month later they were still young. 


Beside him, in the bed, Goldie stretched in her sleep before rolling over and curling up against him. That didn’t help Scrooge’s erection at all, but Scrooge wasn’t complaining. She’d kept her word, she wanted this fresh start with him and it was glorious. Even if Donald and Della laughed in both of their faces when they’d first returned home. 


“Hey,” Goldie purred as she began kissing up his neck. 


“Morning,” Scrooge whispered, taking a deep breath and kissing everywhere he could reach.


This had become something of their morning ritual, wake up feeling quite hormonal, take care of that. Bathe, which often became another round of taking care of each other, and go have some breakfast. 


Today was no exception. Goldie climbed on top of him and he sank into her blissful heat. Scrooge thought this morning routine was a fair consolation for having to be a teenager again. 




Scrooge knew he didn’t look like the head of McDuck Enterprises, sitting in a modern, slim-cut suit. (Even he wasn’t sure of the look, but Goldie was, which was incredibly important.) But there he was, listening to his board drone on, and on. Bradford was slowly meandering to the point of what he actually wanted to discuss, Scrooge could tell. He usually did it before dropping some sort of bombshell budget cut. Scrooge acted like he wasn’t paying attention, people were surprisingly honest when they thought you weren’t listening.  He was also finding people underestimated him when he looked like he was about two minutes from shouting about how no one understands him and going to write something angst-filled in a journal (Donald’s teenage years were rough). 


“And finally, there is the matter of your estate,” Bradford droned on monotonously as if he hadn’t changed topics. Luckily, Scrooge had been paying attention. 


“Given your recent youth and the youth of your,” Bradford coughed uncomfortably. “Paramore, we think it best to invest in a more permanent form of birth control for you.” 


Scrooge looked up at Bradford, showing his customary amount of dislike and reluctant respect. The effect might have been diluted somewhat by the fact his bangs had fallen in front of his eyes a bit. “What are you suggesting?” 


“Nothing permanent,” Bradford said calmly. “Vasectomies are perfectly reversible.” 


“But permanent enough to warrant surgery,” Scrooge said, unimpressed. “On my privates.” 


Bradford rolled his eyes. “Sir,” he said like he was talking to an actual teenager and not someone older than him that just happened to have physically become a teenager again. “You must think about the effect that any potential new heirs would have on the company. Particularly if Goldie O’Gilt was their mother.” 


A month and a half ago Bradford might have had a bit of a point, but only a bit. “Even if Goldie and I had a child, that would not necessarily affect any succession plans regarding McDuck Enterprises.” 


“There is no succession plan for McDuck Enterprises,” Bradford snapped. 


“And due to recent events, we won’t be needing one any time soon,” Scrooge said, gesturing to his newly youthful body. 


Bradford grumbled under his breath before taking a deep breath to compose himself. “Sir, we have a doctor on call, you can have the procedure today and then re-approach this topic when you’re ready and know how long Miss O’GIlt will stick around this time.” 


Scrooge pretended to consider it for a moment. “No, I don’t think I will.” And with that Scrooge got up from his seat and left the board room. He chuckled as he heard Bradford making further angry noises. 


Why Bradford was so interested in his genitals he had no idea. 




Scrooge arrived home and found Goldie lounging outside near the pool, Louie occupying the seat next to her. She was reading, he was playing on his phone


Well, Scrooge was never one to turn down looking at Goldie in a bikini, even if Louie was nearby. 


“What are you two doing out here?” Scrooge asked teasingly. 


Goldie smirked and turned her face toward him. “Watching the show.” 


“What show?” 


At that moment Donald came strolling out of his houseboat, wearing an ill-fitting suit jacket over a faded Louie Inc shirt. “Are you sure this is it ?” Donald asked Dewey, who was following shortly behind him. “Daisy is very it. ” 


“Yes, Uncle Donald,” Dewey insisted. “The jacket shows you care while the shirt says you know how to have fun and have your finger on the pulse of the latest startups.” 


“So on the pulse that it’s already folded,” Louie grumbled. 


“Oh, chin up, Sharpie, I’ve never been the richest duck in the world, you got to be it for a whole day,” Goldie said, her voice filled with genuine admiration. 


Louie couldn’t hide the pleased smile that spread across his face. 


“But you have been on top of the richest duck in the world,” Dewey said. 


Everyone slowly turned to Dewey, their jaws on the floor. 


“Grounded!” Donald shouted. Dewey tried to object. “Grounded!” 


Dewey looked utterly confused. “What it’s just something I heard Mom say.” 


Donald grabbed both Dewey and Louie by their wrists. “DELLA!” He shouted as he walked toward the mansion. 


Louie leaned close to Dewey and whispered to him. “Oh my god!” Dewey shouted, suddenly looking pale and a little ill. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry, please don’t kill me in my sleep Aunt Gold-” Donald slammed the door shut behind them. 


“It may be because I’m a teenager again, but I thought it was actually pretty funny,” Goldie said laughing now that the children were out of earshot. 


“Me too,” Scrooge said giggling. He smiled down at her. “I assume you won’t kill him in his sleep then?” 


Goldie pretended to consider it for a moment before shaking her head. “Nah.” She scooted over on the lounge chair and gestured for Scrooge to join her, which he was happy to do. “I think it might hurt my boyfriend’s feelings, killing his nephew.” 


Scrooge perked up happily. “Boyfriend?” 


“Aren’t we?” 


“Well, yes, of course, if that’s what you want,” Scrooge couldn’t hide the blush forming. 


“I do.” Goldie grinned and tweaked his beak affectionately. 


Scrooge grumbled and before pulling her into a kiss, which quickly became multiple kisses and he was suddenly very keen on continuing in a particular direction when his conversation with Bradford came back to his head and all of a sudden his erection was gone as was his mood. 


“Is everything okay?” Goldie asked. She leaned away from him and gave him a very lovely once over. “You don’t appear to be aging suddenly.” 


Scrooge shook his head. “No, it’s a conversation I had with Bradford and the board.” Scrooge frowned. “They’re very concerned about succession plans.” 


“Well, statistically, teenage boys are incredibly likely to engage in risky behavior,” Goldie said. “Though, I’m not really sure where you really fall on any sort of risk assessment scale at this point.” She shrugged. “And even then you’re not really a teenager. Mentally you’re still the old Sourdough from Dawson. You use a flip phone for crying out loud.” 


“There’s nothing wrong with a flip phone.” Scrooge straightened his clothes. It had lasted for years and compared to the childrens’ phones lasted that was exponentially higher value. “He’s worried about heirs,” Scrooge said, chewing over the thought. “Especially given our sudden de-aging.” 


Goldie frowned in thought. “I’d joke and say maybe he has the hots for one of us,” she said. “But…” She made a small annoyed sound. “Don’t like that. Don’t like that he’s thinking about it, don’t like any of it.” 


“Imagine how I feel, him talking about having surgery today to prevent... that .” 


Goldie looked at him, with eyes wide. She mouthed ‘What the fuck?’ “That’s weird, you know, that’s super fucking weird.” 


“Yes, I know it’s weird to discuss my sex life with Bradford,” Scrooge said with a scoff and eye roll. Though, he supposed, that didn’t add to Goldie’s opinion that he was emotionally and mentally still… his real age. “And I dunno why he’s so worried about surprise heirs now, or how it would affect the company.” 


“We’re missing some key facts,” Goldie surmised. Scrooge knew she was serious when she slipped into legal jargon. “IF we just knew a little more, it would blow the case wide open.” 


Scrooge nodded, trying to rack his brain for what he could be missing, but Goldie being sexy and being sharper than the sharpies was highly arousing. Then again, in this teenage body, a stiff breeze was arousing. 


“We’ll figure it out,” Scrooge assured her. “Now, let's get back to what we started. 




It was late evening, Scrooge and Goldie were in bed, and actually just getting ready for bed. Clearly, their earlier conversation had not left Goldie’s head. “So what if we had a baby? It's none of his goddamn business.” Goldie pushed herself up from the bed. It wasn’t fair that she was pacing in a very lacy nightie, it was distracting. “Like, If I wasn’t on top of it, do you know how many babies we could have had already?” 


Scrooge paled at the thought. “A lot.” Dozens. Upon Dozens.” He was slightly terrified at the thought. 


“Exactly,” Goldie said. “But I was smart, I was careful. And I safely got to my age without so much as a scare.” 


“And now you’re a teenager again,” Scrooge pointed out, feeling slightly faint and perhaps excited.


“I’m not nesting Scrooge,” Goldie reassured him. “Not yet anyway.” 


“Yet?” Scrooge felt an odd mixture of disappointment but also hope? 


Goldie blushed, a rare look on her. “I figured that was something we would talk about at some point,” Goldie mumbled. “But as the kids say, ‘I’m down.’” 


“I-we-” Scrooge took a deep breath, trying to control himself. “We can’t have a baby out of spite.” 


“It’s not just spite, Scrooge.” Goldie pointed out. She climbed back into bed and curled up against him. “It's something I’ve always assumed would be a part of our fresh start, eventually.” 


“You really are full of surprises,” Scrooge mumbled before pulling her into a kiss. As the kiss slowly began morphing into something more, as their kisses lately often did, he paused. “Did you want to get a start on that now?” 


“I’m not ruling spite out of the equation entirely if you’re not,” Goldie said frankly. 


“Well okay then.” 


So they got started. 




Scrooge decided to work from home that day. It meant Goldie was closer at hand for trying but also he didn’t have to worry about getting dragged off to get neutered without his consent. 


There was a knock at the office door and Beakley walked in, carrying Della and Donald under her arms. Goldie followed closely behind, led by Duckworth. 


Before Scrooge could question anything Beakley began to speak. “Sir,” She began, sounding ashamed and somewhat sad. “I must confess I overheard part of your conversation with Miss O’GIlt by the pool yesterday,” she began. “And I believe I have begun to put pieces together, and if I’m correct, then everyone present in this room needs to be aware.” 


Beakley then began explaining her last FOWL raid, and the findings thereof, focusing on Webby’s parentage. Goldie held his hand through that part, for which he was eternally grateful. 


“I… I apologize for not telling you my suspicions sooner,” Beakley said quietly. “I had hoped I was wrong or that the evidence was planted. That I was assuming too much. And on the chance, I wasn’t, that keeping her hidden would keep her safe.” 


“So FOWL wants the Papyrus? Right?” Della asked. “You wrote that it would only go to your heirs.” 


“And the only heir that could supersede Della and Donald would be a child of Scrooge’s,” Duckworth observed.


“But that doesn’t explain why Bradford was preoccupied with any...more,” the word felt awkward on his tongue. “Children I’d have,” Scrooge pointed out. 


“It does if he’s scheming against you,” Goldie pointed out. Everyone looked at her curiously. “Think about it, if he were with FOWL, or somehow compromised by them, he’d have access to all this data. And if he’s somehow hoping to use an heir of Scrooge McDuck’s to find the papyrus, heirs he couldn’t control could be a giant wrinkle in the plan.” 


“I’m sorry sir but that… is logical,” Beakley said. 


“Didn’t Bradford come from SHUSH though?” Donald asked. 


“You always suspected a mole,” Scrooge said, turning back to Beakley. 


“He was right in front of my face the entire time.” Beakley buried her face in her hands. Duckworth gently patted her on the back, demonstrating the severity of the situation. 


“Well, obviously, we can’t let him know we know,” Della said. 


Beakley hummed in agreement. “We’ll have to act like everything is fine until we can safely move against him.” 


“But it’s not fine!” Scrooge said, slamming his fists on the desk as angry tears began to flow. “I have a daughter that’s lived under my nose for nearly 12 years and didn’t know, my most trusted advisors have all lied to me, and I’m stuck as a fucking hormonal 18-year-old.” 


“Give us a minute?” Goldie asked the rest of the room as she pulled him into a hug. 


Once everyone had left the room he let his angry tears take over. Goldie held him while he cried and was there once his tears had subsided. 


“I-I’m sorry,” Scrooge said sheepishly. “I-” 


“You have nothing to apologize for,” Goldie said gently. “You have every right to be upset.” 


“I suppose.” 


“No, you do,” Goldie affirmed. “This has been a lot.” She took a deep breath and made him follow suit. “Now, I would personally suggest not holding a grudge against Beakley for too long. I don’t condone what she did, but she’s more likely to get you out of whatever trap FOWL is laying than lead you into it.” 


Scrooge nodded. 


“Regardless of what we end up telling the kids and when, I think operation “Not Entirely Spite Baby” continues,” Goldie said with a small smile. Scrooge huffed out a small laugh. “It has the potential to fuck with Bradford and-slash-or FOWL’s plans, and it protects Webby.” 


“It puts you in the direct line of fire,” Scrooge pointed out. 


“I’m also an adult,” Goldie pointed out. “Who is suddenly in much better shape than she was two months ago. And I have to assume this.” She gestured to their bodies. “Was never a part of their plan.”  


“We can catch them flat-footed if we move smartly,” Scrooge said with a nod. "Consider all the angles." 


“Exactly,” Goldie said. “We can do this, Scrooge. They’ll never see these meddling kids coming.” 


Scrooge smirked. It was on