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Grounding Techniques

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You ducked into an empty room, some sort of office. Basically empty except for a desk and chair, no window, a small filing cabinet. You blew out a huge sigh, closing your eyes and falling back against the door, locking it. You hear a noise, shit, the room wasn’t empty after all – someone stood leaning against the desk, a tall someone, who startled when you walked in.

‘Shit, sorry, I didn’t realize anyone would be in here!’ You exclaimed, about to backtrack out the door. ‘No problem,’ says a voice – a voice you are sure you recognize but can’t quite place. You look closer at the mystery person as they move out of their lean on the desk, and can’t help the gasp that escapes. You walked in on Sebastian Stan, of all people, looking like he would rather you hadn’t put that fact together and let him be. Gorgeous as always in a pair of grey tailored slacks, long sleeve button down and jacket.

‘Oh my god. I’m so sorry Seb-Sebastian, uh Mr. Stan? I’ll just find another room!’ He reaches out an arm, ‘Wait,’ he says, slowly, ‘What made you run in here anyway?’ He’s not acting like you are intruding which is a surprise.

‘Oh, well I’m still getting used to being around so many people again, after the last few years of covid craziness, and sometimes I just need a break.’ You look up at him, he had moved a little closer to you without you noticing. ‘I-I get anxiety,’ you stammer, ‘Sometimes I just need to ground myself a while before I can regroup.’

Understanding crosses his features as he nods, ‘Yeah, I get that, I get anxiety too sometimes. That’s what I was doing too. Almost 2 years of lockdown and being your own company doesn’t help in social situations.’ His lopsided grin makes your pulse pound, and you remember who you’re talking to suddenly. ‘I can go, if that helps? I don’t want any managers or anyone coming in here yelling at me for bothering their star.’ You smile. A lie, you do not want to leave, who would? But you would if he wanted you to.

‘No, no, that’s ok. No need. I’m Sebastian. You are?’ he holds his hand out for a shake. You laugh, the craziness of the situation returning, like you didn’t know who he was! “Y/N, nice to meet you.' You blush as you shake his hand. His hand lingers a bit, but then lets go. You swear your hand is tingling.

‘So what are you doing at this event? Are you part of the industry, or part of the staff?’ He asks, looking legitimately interested. ‘No, none of the above actually. My friend runs the catering company and sometimes she invites me along when it’s a big event for fun. She doesn’t even make me work.’ You laugh, ‘She just gives me a pass and lets me go. I’m pretty lucky. It’s been a while of course, but she thought I’d like to get out of the house.’ You chuckle, looking down at the floor.

‘Nice,’ he looks at you, as if he’s considering his words, ‘Do you need to escape the house often?’ He straightens his jacket, his cuffs. It takes you a minute to respond, you’re watching his every move.

‘Oh, well, yeah when I can. I have three kids; it can get a little insane.’ You mentally kick yourself, why did you mention the kids? He looks at you, eyes widening as you stand there a bit flustered. ‘Three? Wow, that’s incredible.’ He shakes his head, as if to himself, ‘Your husband is a lucky man.’ He slants his eyes toward you as he leans back against the desk.

You bark out a laugh, and at his startled smile you wish you could just die, right there. ‘No,’ you cough, ‘No husband. I-I’m a single mom. Great relationship with their dad, though. We just grew apart.’ FUCK YN, you think, what are you doing, stop rambling!

You clear your throat, looking everywhere but at him. At his low, warm chuckle your eyes snap to him as he decides to take his jacket off and drape it on the back of the chair. Goddamn it, how is he so fucking hot. ‘That’s really good though, it’s really beneficial for the kids to have parents that get along.’ He looks almost sad as he finishes that sentence but his eyes clear as he looks at you. ‘It’s really mature and needed more these days.’

‘Yeah, I just never saw the need to drag anything out or drag anyone down over it. I doubt I’ll get into another serious relationship again, but that’s ok with me too. Not sure about him. I’ll be vetting any step moms pretty thoroughly though!’ You smirk, with a light chuckle. He laughs out loud, ‘As you should!’

Now what do you do? You think. Did you make is awkward? Is the conversation over now? Maybe you should leave-

‘What do you do then, for work?’ he asks, looking for all the world like he actually cares about the answer. ‘Oh, well, I’m in the water industry. I am a water treatment plant operator?’ You flush, kind of embarrassed at the boring answer. ‘I, uh, take raw water and treat it, make it safe and send it out to the city. Nothing special, really.’

Sebastian makes an incredulous noise; you look up at him. ‘Not important? Are you crazy? Clean drinking water is such an important thing, everywhere around the world. Believe me, with my traveling all over the place I’ve noticed.,’ he pauses. ‘I’ve never met someone who does that. That’s so cool, doll.‘ He looks so sincere, leaning there.

The feminist part of your brain rebels at ‘doll’ very briefly but every single other part of you is absolutely thrilled. You grin. ‘Thank you, not many people think about the process.’ You look around, taking in the room again, while the praise settles in your chest, warm.

‘You don’t have to stand over there if you don’t want. You can come sit on the desk, or in the chair?’ Sebastian ventures. You look at him curiously. ‘I mean, it helps me ground myself if I’m sitting.’ His concerned look almost does you in.

Right. Grounding. Anxiety. The reason you came in here. You huff out a sigh, ‘Right. Probably a good idea.’ You feel the hot flash as it skates away, and the slight tremble to your arms and legs that let you know you haven’t taken the measures you need to return to your normal.

You cross the room and hop up on the desk, throwing your small purse on the chair and kicking off your shoes as you do. ‘Thanks.’ You say, a little shyly, how that you’re even closer to him.
‘No problem,’ he says, shrugging his shoulders.

You notice him worrying a small piece of paper in his hands, folding it over and over. His head is bowed, and he’s watching his hands. You feel like you’re intruding so you close your eyes and start your grounding techniques. Outside the room is a constant, loud noise. People, music, screens. It’s enough of a din to be able to drown out easily, though you find yourself tuned pretty closely to the man near you. The paper crinkling as he messes around with it, his shifting legs. You do your best to block it out, going through the lists your therapist help you compile to ground yourself. Eyes closed, you can feel your breath steadying and the tremble in your limbs slowly eking away.

After a few minutes you hear him shift, and wanting to give him his privacy you keep your eyes closed. Eventually you open your eyes, to find him watching you. You startle slightly and he smiles apologetically.
‘Sorry,' he says, eyes casting downwards, ‘You looked so peaceful. It seemed to actually help me calm down to watch you. Sorry if that’s creepy.’ He laughs, lightly.

Flushing, you look into his eyes ‘N-no that’s ok. I understand. Sometimes it does help if someone else is around. I don’t mind.’ He smiles.

Now you’re curious. ‘What drove you in here? You could have gone anywhere I’m sure and people would have given you your space? Aren’t you here with friends?’ Sebastian blanches slightly and you mentally kick yourself ‘Shit, sorry, you don’t have to answer – I didn’t mean to pry.’

He glances your way before looking at the ceiling, ‘Yeah, technically here with friends. Who haven’t looked for me in about an hour,’ he gestures to his phone, sitting on the desk which has been silent the entire 15 or so minutes you’ve been there. He grimaces at the look on your face, ‘Anyway, yeah they’re busy and I don’t like to bother anyone with my “mental health issues”’ he says, making the quotation marks with his hands.

The way he says it hits you in the solar plexus. What the hell kind of friends does this man have? You must have looked stricken because he stumbles to correct what he said. ‘I don’t mean it that way, uh-um it’s fine. They have things going on tonight, two of them have films debuting and stuff, they don’t need to be my keeper.’ He looks so earnest, like he’s trying to convince you, but you know the look that has to be on your face by now. You cock an eyebrow, but only say ‘Sure, ok. No problem. Hopefully you’re having a good time otherwise?’ Relieved at the change in subject he says ‘Oh yeah, it’s fine. TIFF is always a good time, I love Canada. Toronto is so vibrant and fun. Are you from here?’ latching onto any other subject.

‘I’m about 2 hours east, actually. I couldn’t do a big city for any length of time. Not my style. Plus I’d rather the kids not be in a big city growing up.’ You say, allowing the change in topic. ‘You’re a city guy, right?’
‘Yep’, he nods, popping the p, ‘Born and raised. I’m sure I could get used to the country but I haven’t needed to yet.’ He is shuffling a bit from foot to foot. Nothing overt, but as an anxious person yourself you notice. He slips his hands in his pockets.

‘Makes sense,’ you say. You’re kind of looking for any excuse to extend this conversation – I mean, who wouldn’t to be in a room alone with Sebastian Stan? You’re trying not to look like a crazy fangirl, but you can’t help it any longer.

‘I’m really sorry,’ you start, ‘Can I please get a photo? I’m trying so hard to be cool right now but I will just kick myself in the ass if I don’t ask.’ You feel the blush cover your cheeks and start down your neck. Thankfully, he chuckles.

‘No problem YN. Just don’t tell anyone I was hiding in a broom closet.’ He smiles, bright and teasing. Your breath stutters but you try not to let it show. ‘Ha. Like you could stop me!’ you say, smirking so he knows your kidding.

You grab your phone from your bag and he takes it from you. His fingers brush yours and you feel like you’re going to absolutely expire.

He comes over and sits on the desk beside you, throwing his left arm around you. Tilts his head to yours and opens up the photo app. There you both are, on screen, unreal. He snaps a few photos of you both smiling, then surprises you by pressing a kiss to your cheek. You can’t hide your surprise in the photo but he keeps taking pictures as you laugh. He’s laughing too, and its such a wonderful sound.

He brings the phone down but doesn’t give it back, not yet. He looks at you and shakes his head. ‘You wouldn’t believe the kinds of photos people ask for in photo ops.’ He looks incredulous. ‘They want me to stare at them with the Winter Soldier murder glare, or act like I’m about to kiss them, or even pretend to choke them! Like how am I supposed to react to that!’ He sounds so shocked and scandalized it makes you burst out laughing.

‘I’ve seen some of those photos online. I always wondered how they got the balls to ask you to pose that way. Obviously its super hot but how can you ask that with a straight face?’ You look at him with amusement, ‘I mean I get it, but the actors are real people too, not their characters, I would just die before I could utter those sentences.’ You are looking down at the floor laughing, shaking your head. ‘Just crazy.’

Sebastian is still sitting beside you on the desk, holding your phone. ‘Hot, huh?’ with a slanted look towards you, deadly smirk on his face. Shit, you think, scrambling to say something less embarrassing, but when your mouth opens nothing comes out. He looks at you with a sneaky look on his face, like he has something wicked planned. Looks at your phone then back at you with a grin. ‘How about we do some of those poses together? It’s always pretty hilarious after, when people on the internet go berserk for them. Which I still don’t understand.’ He shakes his head, like he can’t believe people think he’s important enough.

It feels like your brain has short circuited. He wants to do more photos with you? Seriously? Well shit, you’d have to be an idiot to turn that down.

‘Hell yeah! Let’s make me the most hated person in Sebastian Stan fandom!’ You grin back, and he knocks into your shoulder. ‘Shut up. That couldn’t happen.’ Eyebrow raised, you give him a look but let it go.
‘What pose are we going to do first?’ you ask. Putting on the innocent, wide eyes to make him laugh. It works.

‘Hmm. I think we should try the murder stare, see if we can get through it without laughing.’ He bites his lip, and you choke. ‘Hmm. Ok.’ You manage to cough out, barely.

He sets the photo app up and turns on the desk to face you. He grabs your right knee and pulls it back so you spin on the desk to face him, and the casual way he just manhandled you made your insides turn to mush. You school your features to look at him with an eyebrow raised, wondering how this is going to go. He smirks at you before he clears his throat, affecting a businesslike air. ‘We’re going to do the stare photo first. No laughing.’ He gives you a look, mock-stern. ‘Yes, sir.’ You say, with a two-finger salute. It doesn’t go unnoticed by you that his pupils dilate minutely at your submission. You clear your throat, looking down.

‘Okay. Here we go. Look at me YN.’ The timbre of his voice changing. You look up, taking the full force of those icy steel blue eyes, and you freeze. The intensity of his stare is staggering. You’re barely aware of his right arm extended, taking photos. It feels like forever and not long enough when he breaks character, the light returning to his eyes and his nose scrunching in that adorable way.

You take a big breath, which is admittedly shaky, but he doesn’t notice. Plastering a smile on your face you ask, ‘What’s next?’ thinking the rest have to be easier than that. He’s doing this for fun, you can’t act like a dumb starstruck idiot. You move to shift back facing the front of the desk. He pulls you back to where you were, ‘Trying to get away from me?’ he asks. ‘N-no. No!’ you damn your stumble when he smirks again. You thank god you decided on a slightly edgy, maybe under dressed skinny jean and blouse outfit because if he had touched your bare knee you’d have been done for.

‘Alright. It’s time for the famous Winter Soldier choke!’ he announces. ‘Ready?’ his voice is definitely lower, and gravellier this time when he takes you in. You’ve never been more ready for anything in your life. You square your shoulders, and nod.

He levels you with his super soldier glare, and you’re reminded again how fucking good an actor this man is as a thrill of fear shoots through you. His left arm extends towards you, your eyes watching its path towards your neck. His long, strong fingers touch your neck, you feel a short, barely there flutter of a thumb against your pulse point before his hand has fitted itself against you. It’s not tight, you aren’t in any danger, but your heartbeat is galloping and your breath comes short as you zero in on his face. He’s still leveling you with that stare, his blue, blue eyes showing much blacker than they had before. His only tell that this may be affecting him in any way. Before your brain stops momentarily, you think, what the hell…he’s a freaking movie star, why is this affecting him?

Sebastian takes a few photos, checks to make sure you were both in frame, and slowly takes his hand away from your neck and drops his arm. You swallow, and he tracks the movement. He looks into your eyes, and you both can feel that the energy has shifted in the room. As he holds your gaze, he takes a deep breath, tries to smile and asks ‘What was the last one we were going to try? There were three, right?’
You can’t help but roll your shoulders, the weight of his gaze like a physical thing. “Y-yeah, I think. It was another pretend one, I think?’ you squeak. You know exactly which one it was but hell would you be the one to suggest it. He sees right through you, but thankfully doesn’t call you out on it.

‘Right. The about-to-go-in-for-a-kiss one. That one is usually pretty hilarious. Most people have significant others or friends ready and waiting to make fun of the people who suggest it.’ You’re grateful for the brief break in the tension, and laugh. ‘I bet. It would be so awkward to ask for, especially with your husband or wife right there!’

He nods, ‘I couldn’t imagine asking someone for it, but they seem to enjoy them.’ He fixes you in his stare, ‘Are you up for it?’. You’re nodding before he finishes his sentence, embarrassment be damned. If this is the peak of your celebrity experience, you’re going to take all the photos you can get.

Sebastian opens up the photo app and smiles at you, getting situated. You smile and wait. He reaches out with his right hand to hold the phone and brings his left hand to your cheek, cupping your jaw. Without thinking you lick your lips and he follows the movement with his eyes, before flicking back up. He slowly, so slowly moves closer to you, his lips parting and you can’t help staring at his full, beautiful bottom lip. You glance back up into his eyes, and the look he has there holds you in place. The shutter clicks a few times as he remembers to take the photos, but then his arm drops. You’re waiting for him to back up, to stop the pretend, but he doesn’t.

He looks down at your lips, into your eyes, and throws himself forward. Your breath hitches as his lips touch yours, tentative. You move towards him infinitesimally and he takes that opportunity to deepen the kiss with a growl. Your lips slant together and you’re surrounded by Sebastian. His scent, his taste, the softness of his lips paired with scruff of his face as you lift your hands to his cheeks. His left hand moves behind your head and lightly grips the small hairs at the back of your neck, and your chin tilts upwards to allow him full access to your mouth.

At that, he pulls back to look into your eyes, seeming to check if you were still ok. You push up to kiss his bottom lip, brush against it with your tongue and he takes over. Tongues brush and tangle and you both let out twin groans. He sucks your tongue into his mouth and your left hand drops to his shirt and grips, hard. You slant your mouth and bite at his bottom lip, making his breath hitch and a growl escape. ‘Darling, holy shit.’ He says, breathing hard. You’re breathing matches his, feeling too shallow. You pull back, and look into his eyes. His lips are red, wet and too irresistible as you take them in another kiss. ‘W-wow. I….oh my god.’ You stutter.

His hand at the back of your neck lightens up, but doesn’t move, so you don’t move your hand fisted in his shirt. ‘I’m sorry,’ he breathes, ‘I shouldn’t have taken advantage of you like that.’ His eyes are starting to shutter and look away and you grip him again, to get his attention. ‘You didn’t, you didn’t at all. You didn’t make me do anything I didn’t allow. That – that was amazing.’ You say, bringing a fierceness into your eyes to try and to convince him. ‘You-you’re sure?’ he asks – the vulnerability throws you for a loop but you nod, fast, to make him understand.

He breathes out, a deep sigh, and rests his forehead on yours, eyes closed. You keep your eyes open, watching him. His deep blue eyes open and look into yours, pulling back. He covers your hand in his shirt with his left hand, rests his right hand on your leg. ‘I’m not really sure what I’m doing,’ he says, ‘This probably isn’t a good idea. You seem so sweet and I’m here corrupting you.’ He smiles, but you can tell he means it – you laugh. ‘Yeah, right, corrupting me. I’m definitely old enough to make my own decisions and this, I’m definitely okay with this.’ You put as much conviction in your voice as you can.

Sebastian stands, abruptly. It startles you but you give him his space, hopping off the desk and walking around to the chair, making to grab your purse. ‘Did you want me to go? I can leave, I’m the one who interrupted your quiet time as it is. This is kind of my fault.’ It kills you to offer, but you’d do it if he wanted. No question.

He whips around and walks over to you, stopping just before touching distance. ‘No, no that’s ok. I’m sorry, I tend to overthink and second guess, but I don’t want you to leave. The last thing I want you to do is leave.’ He says, finally. ‘Its hard for me to trust anyone, as you can imagine. Not that I’m about to tell you my bank account number but I feel really comfortable with you.’ He smiles.

You smile back, knowing what it takes for someone to admit trust, as you have problems with that as well. ‘Okay. I didn’t really want to go anyway, but I would have.’ You shrug. Sebastian barks out a laugh and steps closer to you. He takes your hands in his, and you both just stand there, taking in each other’s faces. The noises of the festival are still surrounding you, but it feels like you’re the only two there. You’re not naïve enough to believe you’re falling in love or are soul mates but it feels like you’re supposed to be here, regardless.

‘Can I kiss you again?’ he asks, that killer smirk and jawline on full display. How could you say no? Why would you ever want to? ‘Yes, definitely yes.’ You say as he swoops down to your level and presses an urgent kiss to your lips. He crowds into you and walks you back, back until you are flush against the wall of the room, one hand on your left hip and the other ghosting along where your jaw and throat meet.

You hit the wall with a gasp, giving him the opening he wants to take your mouth in a desperate, filthy kiss. The lines of your bodies are pressed together, the sheer presence of him taking over your brain. You’re breathing him in, you’re surrounded by each other. Sebastian pins your left hand to the wall, while your right grasps his shirt, and he kisses down your jawline from your ear to your chin, continuing down your throat. You turn your head to give him better access and the man growls into your neck, pressing against your body harder and he continues. You gasp, and he swallows it as he returns to your lips and you pull him ever closer.

He releases your hand and you use it to pull on his shirt where it’s tucked into his pants, finally getting your hands on the bare skin of his back and hip. It’s his turn to gasp, and he rolls his hips against you. ‘Jesus.’ He manages. ‘You’re fucking amazing.’ He’s looking at you like you are the sexiest thing he has ever seen, and you choose to believe him in that moment. He looks at you with his mouth open, breathing ragged. His lips are swollen, red and glistening. It’s sinful. It’s filthy. You can’t get enough. You meet his mouth for more delicious kisses. They’ve slowed, but they’re no less intense. You’re giving as good as you’re getting, rolling your hips and feeling how hard he is against your hip. You can’t quite believe you’re here.

Sebastian takes your cue and pulls your blouse from where it’s tucked into your jeans. His hands scald your skin where he touches you, your belly, back and hips are singing with the touches. He runs his hands up your sides over your ribs and you feel your heart stutter, while he crushes his lips to yours like he needs your breath to breathe himself. He moves to undo buttons at the top of your blouse, stopping to check in with you to make sure it’s welcome. You nod, unable to form words, and he undoes the top half of your shirt. He trails a wet line with his tongue from your jaw to the valley between your breasts, running his lips across the purple lace on the cups of your bra. Your head falls back against the wall, giving him full access as you tilt your chin up.

He separates the sides of your shirt, taking you in. He looks up at you, ‘You are so gorgeous,’ he says, reverently, ‘Fuck, these tits are incredible.’ His normal politeness abandoning him in the moment. You groan, reaching behind you to try to unhook your strapless bra. Sebastian is impatient though, and just pulls it down, freeing your breasts to the air. Your gasp gets taken in by him again, as he licks into your mouth in an uncontrolled, dirty kiss. His hands come up your sides and cup your breasts, your nipples aching. He swipes his thumbs across the hard nubs and he rolls his hips, pressing himself against you, needing the friction.

He takes your right nipple into his mouth, sucking hard before licking his stiff tongue all around, making it impossibly harder. You are watching him, can’t take your eyes off of the display. He catches your eye, and with a wicked glint he bites down on the nipple in his mouth, gentling it with his teeth. You cry out, eyes closing, you can’t keep it in. He gives the other the same attention, the want and heat curling in your belly, threatening to snap just from his attention to your tits. It’s like he can smell your arousal, his eyes flicking to your face when you roll your hips.

His hands leave your breasts, and you are embarrassed at your whine. He gives you a filthy grin, framing your body with his arms, pressing you into the wall with his hips. ‘Hey doll. You doing okay?’ he cheekily asks, giving his hips a sharp snap, drawing yet another gasp from your lips, as he slots his right thigh between yours. ‘You’re a little shit.’ You choke out. Oh, the dirty, dirty smile on his face at that. He clenches his jaw, and your body clenches in response to that sight. Fuck.

He clocks the movement, and starts unbuttoning your jeans. You can barely hold in your whimper as the fly comes undone, and he starts pushing them down your thighs. The barely there purple lace goes with it, to stop around your knees. Sebastian captures your mouth in another hot kiss, trailing his fingertips up your bare thighs to your hipbones. He grabs onto your hips, hard enough to leave fingertip bruises, and god, do you want that.

He sets his forehead against yours, watching your face as he moves his right hand, his left still gripping your hip. Those eyes, blown black under his eyebrows, watching you as he finally – finally presses the heel of his hand against your mound, hard enough that the pressure sends stars behind your eyelids. You cry out, and he captures your bottom lip in his teeth. He strokes two fingers through your labia, and he sucks in a breath at the wetness and heat there. ‘Goddammit YN, baby, you are so fucking wet and hot for me, aren’t you? You dirty fucking girl. What a good girl.’ Your pulse picks up even further at the praise.

He continues stroking through your folds, tortuously slow, muttering filthy, glorious things in your ear. You soak up the words, the praise, as your body is pulled tighter and tighter, getting closer to snapping. He is deliberately avoiding your clit, knowing one touch and you’ll be in the clouds. He brings his free hand up and grips the back of your neck, tangling in the hair there and claiming your mouth and at your cry, slides two long, perfect fingers into your body. He swallows your cry, and thrusts his fingers deep inside you, curling them to find your g spot. A few strokes and he’s found it, fireworks exploding behind your eyes.

Sebastian is working your body like it’s always been his to use, and your response is staggering. He pulls off your mouth and whispers raggedly in your ear ‘you are so fucking sexy. You’re going to come all over my hand, aren’t you?’ you are barely able, but you nod. ‘answer me.’ He demands. ‘Yes, yes Seb, please…oh god.’

‘Mmm, good girl.’ At that, he pulls his fingers from your body and finds your aching clit. It only takes a few swipes of slippery fingers until your bucking against his hand, biting his shoulder through his shirt to try and keep your cries contained as you come. You’re still trembling with aftershocks when he pulls his hand from your body. His thigh between yours keeping you upright.

Looking you dead in the eyes, he raises his hand, fingers glistening and sucks them into his mouth. You know your jaw has dropped, that is the fucking hottest thing you’ve ever seen. Filthily, he takes that opportunity to press his fingers against your tongue and your lips close around them, tasting yourself. ‘Fuck. Fucking hell’. He chokes out. He takes his hand away and presses into you for a searing kiss, tasting yourself and him and falling into it.

Your body knows your next move before your mind does, as you push down your jeans and step out of one side. Sebastian’s arms are bracing himself against the wall, caging you in. You love the feeling of his tall, lithe body crowding in on you. You leave him that way as you drop to your knees, eliciting a sharp intake of breath from above you. ‘Doll, you don’t have to.’ He says, you can tell he means it by the look on his face but goddamn if you’re not dying to do this for him.

You sit up on your knees to lift his shirt, kissing over his belly and v muscles, running your tongue into all the valleys and dips, tasting him. You work his pants down and off, he steps out of them completely. You sit back on your heels to look at him, running your hands up and down his thighs. Looking up into his face he is still pressing his hands into the wall, to stop from grabbing at you. You can see the white press of his knuckles into the wall to keep himself in check. He’s watching your every move.

Your hands move from his thighs to the crease of leg and hip, and he shifts his stance wider to give you better access. You run both hands over his ass, which brings you ever closer to where he wants you. You run your left hand down the crease to his balls, hanging heavy between his legs. At your caress Sebastian makes an unholy sound, hips snapping forward, cock twitching up against his belly. The smear of wetness there is growing, and it’s making your mouth water.

You grasp the base of his cock and squeeze, gently to relieve some pressure. His hand comes down and covers yours, squeezing himself harder, showing you how much he can take. You groan, and he twitches. He returns his hand to the wall, eyes screwed shut trying to keep a handle on his breathing. With your right hand you stroke down his full length, sliding the foreskin down and letting the pink head emerge, and back up again. Twisting your fingers at the head, he gasps.

With the downward stroke you slip the head into your mouth, holding the base firmly as you lick and suck all around the sensitive crown. You kiss down the length of him, licking at the foreskin before taking as much as you can into your mouth, to the back of your throat. He can’t hold back his movements anymore and cants his hips to fuck into your mouth. Your hand grips the base of him and the other is holding onto his thigh. You let him fuck into your mouth, hitting the back of your throat before you have to pull off, gasping.

You continue to stroke his full length, sucking him back down when you’ve caught your breath. He starts thrusting into your mouth again, with sharp shallow snaps of his hips. ‘YN, fucking hell. I can’t last, fuck. Your mouth. Jesus christ…’ he trails off, unintelligible words as his hips stutter. With a growl his hips stop and he pulls you up against his chest. You stumble, but he presses you into the wall. ‘I’m not going to cum down your throat, not today.’ He says, before taking your mouth again in a bruising kiss.

He twists your nipple, sharply, and you cry out. He pulls your leg up and sets it over his hip, his weeping cock rubbing against the crease of your hip. You roll your hips, looking for that friction you need, need him.
‘Fuck.’ Sebastian says, ‘I don’t have anything, I wasn’t fucking planning on you tonight.’ You look at him blankly for a second, and he says, tersely, ‘Condom, I don’t have a fucking condom’. His hand skates down your body to your wet folds, rubbing.

‘Oh, oh god. I-I’m clean, if you are, and I’m protected, no more babies here, if -if you still want to. Oh god.’ You manage to get that out, but words fly out of your head when his fingers sink into you.
‘Fucking hell.’ He closes his eyes and drops his forehead to yours. ‘Yes, doll, yes I’m clean I get tested all the time for traveling.’

Sebastian looks at you, searches your eyes. Whatever he sees there, he trusts. His fingers move from inside you and you look down, watching as he grips himself hard, giving himself a few strokes to relieve the pressure. He sees you watching, notches himself against your opening. ‘Look at me. Look at me baby.’ He pleads. His normally sea blue eyes are fully blown black, you think yours are likely the same.

He keeps your gaze as he slowly sinks into your body, bare, feeling every inch of you. When he bottoms out you both let out a sigh, your eyes closing and head falling back. He grabs your chin and gives you a bruising kiss. Your lips feel swollen and wonderful and his are so puffy and wet. It’s sinful. His hips snap, and your eyes pop open. He holds your hips in his beautiful big hands as he thrusts into you, pushing you further into the wall with every snap.

He gets somehow closer, the full lines of your bodies pressed against each other. You take the opportunity to kiss and bite along his jawline, that impossibly gorgeous jawline, and down his neck. You stop at his chest, above his heart, rocking as he thrusts into your body. You kiss and lick at his pec, looking at him for permission to mark him. He nods, and before he can change his mind you press a sucking bite of a kiss to his skin. He hisses, hips snapping harder into you. You pull off with a cry and he takes your mouth, licking into it. One hand holds hard onto your hip, and you know for sure you’ll have bruises. That thought makes you buck your body into his thrusts.

He takes your left hand, kisses the palm, all teeth. You gasp, and he moves to your forearm. He licks the sensitive skin there at your elbow, and without warning sinks his teeth into your wrist, sucking and marking you. The hand on your hip moves between your bodies and slides over your clit. You keen, that pressure coupled with his snapping hips is almost too much. Both his hands grasp yours and pin them against the wall above your head. His angle changes at that, and your getting direct pressure on your clit.

You start to scream, he covers your mouth with his as he increases his pace to chase you over the edge. It feels like reality blurs, the coiled pressure and heat in your belly snaps and you’re coming, tears forming at the corners of your eyes as your body bucks underneath his, uncontrolled and wild. One hand holds yours above you, the other traces down your arm, over your breasts to your hip, where he holds you hard and pumps into you, hips flying, and finally stuttering as he finds his own release.

His hips are holding him against you, pressing so deep, you can feel his hot come pulsing into you, you can feel every twitch. You clutch at his shoulders, holding him tight against you. He buries his face into your neck, breathing hard, chest heaving. ‘Fuck, my god doll, baby, holy shit.’ His rough voice can barely manage the words he’s breathing into your neck. ‘Oh S-seb,’ your breath hitches, ‘Oh my god,’ you groan.
As you both start to catch your breath Sebastian pulls back from where he was buried into your shoulder, tracing feather light kisses up the column of your neck to your jaw, then capturing your mouth in a thoroughly sweet kiss.

He still has his lips on yours when he starts to slip his softening cock out of you, causing you to grip his shoulders harder in protest. He chuckles, nipping your bottom lip as he pulls out completely. You watch his face as he groans, looking around the room. ‘Hold on, stay there, I’ll find something to clean you up.’ He moves over to the desk, looking through the drawers with no luck. ‘I don’t have anything in my purse, I don’t think,’’ you say, biting your lip. Looking up at you he smiles softly, his eyes flicking down your body quickly, ‘That’s ok,’ he bends down, grabbing his boxer briefs, ‘These will work.’

Your surprised look makes him laugh, ‘I can go commando the rest of the night, I’m not worried about it. You may have to take them with you though, I don’t really want to leave them here and I can’t just put them in my pocket after this.’ He grins, his eyes lighting up with mischief. You grin back as he approaches you, deep green boxer briefs in hand.

He leans into you, bracing himself with his left forearm against the wall, caging you in once again. Your breath stutters despite yourself and the cocky smirk on his face is deadly. He moves the briefs over your inner thighs, your sex, slowly cleaning the wetness there. His touch sends electric sparks through your body, even after what you two just did, and you can’t help how your chest flushes. He watches you like he knows how this is affecting you, eyes dark and jaw clenched.

He tosses the boxers over towards the chair, to the floor. He steps in front of you, making your heart stop as he falls to his knees in front of you. You swallow, hard, ‘Wh-what are you doing?’ you gasp out. He looks up at you from under his eyebrows and Jesus Christ isn’t that a sight you’ll be picturing for the rest of your life – Sebastian Stan on his knees in front of you, looking up at you like sin incarnate. ‘Well, after I took you apart, I should help put you back together, no?’ he purred, dark and deep.

He moves his hands to your calves, caressing the skin there. He helps you into your underwear, pulling them up over your thighs. Before he covers you he presses a kiss to your mound, making you inhale sharply. You watch his every move as the purple lace moves into place, and he kisses the soft skin on your hip bones.

‘God, YN, you are so beautiful.’ He breathes, into the skin below your belly button. The muscles in your stomach jump and quiver, and he clocks the movement. Slowly he kisses over the purple lace, and you can feel your legs trembling, breath catching. Your head falls back against the wall, and you groan.

A deep inhale from down below brings you out of your thoughts, and you look back down to him. ‘You smell so good. you smell like me,’ he rasped, his tongue darting out to wet his obscenely pink bottom lip. The statement pulls a soft cry from your lips, at how dirty and absolutely glorious the words are.

‘YN, I need to taste you. Please. C-can I taste you?’ he pleads, at odds with the dark and determined look in his eyes. Oh fuck, you think. You can barely make your voice work, but you breathe out ‘Yes, fuck, yes.’ His eyes flash with heat and he sets his mouth over the lace, over your slit. You can feel the heat and wetness of his mouth and just that makes you jerk, arching your back and rolling your hips.

With a growl, he moves the scrap of lace covering you aside, baring you to his gaze. His nose flares and the knowledge he can recognize his own scent mingled with yours in and on your body is almost too much to process. You are holding your breath waiting for his next move. He moves, and licks a wet dirty stripe from your opening to clit and your breath is ripped from your lungs in a cry. You grasp his hair, running your fingers through it, and as he does it again your hands fist in the longer hair at the top of his head.

You can feel more than hear the growl that is rolling through his chest, and it pulls an answering keen from yours. You splay your hand on the back of his head and use the other to brace yourself against the wall, back arching off. He hitches your leg up, knee over his shoulder and opening you up for him. He uses his large, strong hands to hold you steady, splaying across your ass and thigh. His breathing is harsh and fast as he ducks down, sucking the skin at the crease of your thigh into his mouth, using his teeth and then tongue to sooth the bite. Tears form in your eyes and a harsh sob escapes you, ‘O-ohoh god, goddamn it yes!’

He uses his thumbs to spread you open, trailing a stiff tongue from your clit through your folds to your opening. His tongue slides into you, tasting you both and driving you insane. He tongue fucks you as you rock back and forth over him. Glancing down you see he is watching your every reaction; your eyes lock and you can’t look away. The hand holding your ass moves around and swipes through your wetness before pressing against your clit, just pressing, giving you a little of the friction you crave. ‘Jesus fucking Christ Seb, I’m – fuck I can’t.’ you gasp out.

He pulls away, you whine in protest, ‘Yes, you can, YN, fuck yes you can take it.'

He replaces his tongue with two thick fingers and you feel like you’re going to crawl out of your skin. Watching him as he plays your body like a fiddle is incredible. He slides his fingers in and out of you, hooking them to rub against that spot. His tongue trails from where his fingers are pumping you, to the crease of your thigh, before finally, finally, moving to flick against your clit.

His tongue circles around your clit, licking against it with a flat tongue, making you cry out. He purses his lips and sucks your clit into his mouth, flicking his tongue against it, making your hips buck and writhe. With a growl he pins you with a hand splayed flat against your belly, and renews his assault on your clit. ‘Seb, Sebastian, fuck I’m going to come, I c-can’t. Shit, I’m going to come, oh god!’

He doubles down on the pressure on your belly to keep you in place, fingers ever deeper as he fucks them into you and with a particularly filthy wet swipe of his tongue on your hard bud you’re coming, with a harsh scream before you cut it off. Your hips bucking and legs shaking, one hand gripped tight in his hair, the other fingers digging into the wall. He strokes his fingers slower, working you through your aftershocks, pressing kisses to your mound, your folds and finally your clit, making you hiss.

Taking his hands away from your body after replacing your underwear, he smiles up at you with a very satisfied look on his face, a surprised chuckle escaping you at the sight. He runs his hands down your legs, grabbing your jeans and pulling them up for you, helping you wiggle back into them, into your shoes. Sebastian cups your cheek and gives you a slow, languid kiss, and you can taste yourself on his tongue. You moan into the kiss, and he breaks off saying ‘Oh god, doll, don’t get me started again,’ he laughs.

You reach a tentative hand down between your bodies before he catches it in his larger one and shakes his head, ‘No, I’m okay. Don’t worry about me. That was just for you.’ He entwines your fingers and kisses you softly again. With a squeeze of his hand, you let go and start to replace your bra and do up the buttons of your blouse. He looks down at your chest with a smirk, and buttons up his own shirt, tucking it back into his dress pants.

Something dangerously close to a pout crosses your face and to your horror he sees it, laughing before ducking down and lightly biting your lip, then sweeping his tongue over it to soothe it before giving you a chaste kiss. ‘Lord almighty YN, please don’t pout, I’ll never leave this room if you keep that up.’ He laughs. You blush, cocking an eyebrow but can’t quite come up with a smart response to that admission.

Once you’re put back together you run your fingers through your hair to tame the worst of it, grimacing. He does the same, seeing if he can get it back where it was before you got a hold of it. Laughing at each other, you slide down the wall to the floor and sit leaning against it, giving your shaking legs a break.

Sebastian smiles at you and heads over to the desk, grabs both your phones. He hands you yours and sinks down beside you, the lines of your bodies from hip to knee pressed together. He checks his phone, ‘One message looking for me, that’s not bad. At least they aren’t about to go knocking down doors for me.’ He says, a little ruefully. Your phone is a little more packed with messages, but nothing needing your attention right way.

He looks at you and you can see his eyes light up in mischief, ‘What, what are you thinking?’ you ask him. ‘Well,’ he says a little slyly, ‘Isn’t there a trend or something right now that people are taking selfies after sex?’ Wide eyes trying to be innocent. You bark out a laugh, ‘I guess I’ve seen that on tiktok or something? Maybe. That’s hilarious. But wouldn’t it be obvious?’ you look at him, some nervousness in your tone.

He throws his arm around your shoulders and brings you closer, right arm extended again with the photo app open on his phone. ‘These ones are just for you and me,’ he murmured, ‘If you want?’ That blue eyed stare pierces you and you nod, smiling. ‘Sure,' you nod, 'Yes, that would be fun.’ He grins, turning back to the phone.

You are both on screen, looking disheveled even with your efforts to put yourselves back together, but satisfied and so happy. It kind of surprises you, the light in your eyes and how he looks so absolutely thrilled to be sitting with you on this floor of some random office at TIFF.

He takes a few photos, and surprises the hell out of you by asking ‘Do you, uh, do you want to put your number in my phone and send yourself these photos? Then we both have them. Or you could message me on Instagram or something if you don’t want me to have your number, or-or’ he trails off. You look at him like he’s insane ‘Why wouldn’t I want you to have my number? You can have my number.’ You shake your head a little at him, smiling. He hands you his phone, looking relieved as you plug your number in and send yourself the photos. Your phone pings and you smile at each other.

Shit, what happens now? Your natural anxiety starts and you twist your hands together, trying to figure out what to say. ‘I, uh, I don’t expect anything from you, if you’re worried about that.’ You look up at him, trying to get the words out in a rush, ‘We both aren’t looking for anything, this was – this was probably the hottest thing that’s ever happened to me,’ you blush, ‘And you’re an amazing man on top of being super famous.‘ He rolls his eyes, waiting for you to finish. ‘I just wanted you to know that, I know being you comes with lots of stuff and I don’t expect you to-‘ He covers your mouth with his large warm hand and his eyes are amused, crinkling at the edges.

‘YN, I know what you’re trying to say. You’re right, I can’t promise anything, I can’t even promise text responses or Instagram messages, which is ridiculous.’ He shakes his head as he continues, ‘I am happy to have been able to get to know you. You are a sexy,’ he kisses your nose, ‘Hilarious, smart woman and I’m glad I was in this room when you blew in.’ He smiles at your low chuckle. He cocks his head and fixes you with a look, ‘I’m just glad this happened at all. Leave it at that? Glad we met and’, he clears his throat, ‘And that you rocked my world in an abandoned office?’

You smack his chest with the back of your hand and laugh out loud. ‘You’re an ass,’ you mutter. Smiling up at him, you nod. He presses a hot but chaste kiss to your lips, ‘Yes, I agree. No expectations, just glad it happened.’

He brings your head to his shoulder and rests his chin on the top of your head, heaving a sigh. His thumb rubs small circles on your hand. Reluctantly, he says ‘Well. I guess we do have to leave here at some point.’ Resigned, you agree. He hops up and offers you a hand, helping you to stand. He wraps his arms around you, linking his fingers behind your back and looking down at you, smiling. ‘Thanks, YN. You are amazing.’ He kisses your forehead. Laughing, you say ‘Believe me, the pleasure was mine.’

You head over to your purse sitting on the chair and he nudges the damp boxers towards you with his foot, a little abashed. ‘Are you still ok to take those? Sorry I know it’s weird, I just can’t risk leaving them here if anyone sees us leave.’ Smiling at his blush, 'No it’s okay, I have an empty pocket I can put them in.’ You pick them up gingerly and get them into your purse.

When you go to close your purse the program for the festival pokes up. Grabbing it, without thinking you ask ‘Could I maybe get an autograph?’ You stop abruptly. ‘Fuck, that sounds so bad now,’ Your blush is raging, especially looking at his amused face. ‘I mean my friends will freak that I have a picture with you, but I’ll never live it down if I don’t ask for one of your famous funny autographs. Goddamn it, nevermind, I’m not – I mean, that is – I’m sorry, forget it.’

You start shoving the program into your purse violently, embarrassed beyond measure. Jesus YN! You yell at yourself internally. This man just fucked you three ways to Sunday and you ask him for an AUTOGRAPH? What the FUCK is wrong with you –

Interrupting your internal monologue Sebastian plucks the program out of your purse and settles in the chair, flipping through to find a blank spot. ‘I mean it, you really don’t have to, I can’t believe I asked in the first place.’ You stutter. ‘YN,’ he says, ‘It’s ok, don’t be embarrassed. I know what you meant.’ He squeezes your hand reassuringly. ‘Now, what am I going to say?’ he taps the sharpie he had unearthed from somewhere against his chin.

With a wicked look he focuses on the program, the marker moving across the page while you almost die from shame standing beside him. ‘Holy, what are you writing? A letter?’ You move to try and see and he covers it with his hand and flicks his fingers in a gesture for you to back off. ‘Hey, no peeking. Only look once we leave this room.’ Resigned, you back off, chuckling.

When he is done, he hands it back to you, and watches as you put it in your purse without looking at it like you’re dying to.

You make sure all your stuff is gathered, your phone is in your purse and there isn’t any scattered clothing anywhere. He does the same, grabbing his jacket off the back of the chair, taking in the room to make sure there’s nothing else. You catch his eye, a trembly smile on your face. He smiles, and scrunches up his nose to make you laugh.

He crosses the few feet to you, lightly lays his hands on your hips and says urgently ‘If you do text me though, I’ll try and respond. Things can get crazy but I will try, same with Instagram if you tell me over text or whatever what your handle is. Or send me our after-sex selfie and I’ll know it’s you.’ He ducks into your line of sight to keep your eyes on him. The smile on his face is bright and happy, and you’re really glad to see it. ‘Of course,’ you say, ‘Lots of crazies out there to weed out I’m sure.’ He shrugs, with a huff of a laugh.

‘You can message me too, if you ever need a dose of normal out there in the Hollywood world. I’ll be happy to bring you down a few pegs.’ The glint in your eye makes you both laugh. He envelopes you in a huge, Sebastian scented hug and you melt. ‘Definitely,’ he murmurs into your hair, ‘I’ll definitely do that.’

He releases you and you both glance at the door, trying to decide what to do now. ‘I’ll go first, I came in first after all. I can’t imagine anyone would still be around who saw me in the first place, but you never know.’ He shrugs.

‘Alright,’ you nod, ‘That makes sense.’ Looking into his eyes, ‘Good luck out there. Make sure you remember your grounding techniques.’
‘You bet.’ He walks towards the door, unlocking the handle. He looks back at you with a megawatt smile and a deliciously dirty scan of your body with a wink and slips out the door.

When the door closes, you consciously unclench your fists and let out the sigh you were holding. ‘Holy fuck. Holy fucking shit.’ You exclaim into the empty room. Squaring your shoulders, you lift your chin and take a deep breath, reaching for the door handle. There are the normal few people in the hallway, heading each direction, not too many as this isn’t even close to the main area. No one pays you any mind anyway, and you head off to find your friend.

LATER, AT YNs HOME
With the kids at their dads, you have the rest of the evening to yourself and you’re settling down with a glass of wine. The laundry is going in the back room, your outfit from today and Sebastian’s boxer briefs tumbling around in the dryer together. You scoff, how is this your life? Having Sebastian Stan’s underwear in your laundry isn’t even the craziest thing that has happened to you today. You chuckle, taking a sip of your wine from your perch on the couch.

You dig through your purse looking for your phone and the program from TIFF falls out. How could you have forgotten to look at the autograph? You snatch it and look around like someone is monitoring you, laughing at yourself. The pages fall open easily to where he has written, and your breath catches in your throat. A laugh erupts from you as you read.

 

YN,
I’m glad you were by my side today. And in front of me. And underneath me.
Seriously. What a crazy day.
You can use me to ground yourself anytime.
My favorite grinding grounding techniques.
Love,
Seb

Sebastian Stan

After you recover, you grab your phone, hastily typing a message to Sebastian.

YN
ARE YOU NUTS?!? You can’t write that kind of thing in an autograph!!!!!!!!!

SS
*tongue emoji* sure I can, I always write fun things in autographs. No one will think its true. Only you and I will know the truth *winky face* *eggplant* *peach* *water droplets*

YN
Jesus. Fine. LOL. About gave me a heart attack. But thank you, I loved it. I’ll laugh every time I see it. Maybe it will be a new grounding tool for me *winky face*

SS
Don’t tease me, YN. I’m nowhere I can picture THAT scene. Dammit. Gotta go. Ttyl, ok?

You chuckle, shaking your head, blanking the screen of your phone and setting it down on the coffee table. You pick up your wine glass, and take a large mouthful, puffing out your cheeks. Swallowing, you say to your living room, ‘Seriously. How is this my life?’