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"You're sexually attracted to Dr. Sexy."
"What?" Dean said, turning from the television to Cas, seated next to him on Bobby's couch. Both Sam and Bobby had gone upstairs, taking books with them and claiming they had better things to do than watch a soap opera. Dean had pointed out Dr. Sexy wasn't a soap opera--there weren't even any evil twins-- but they'd gone anyway.
"You're attracted to Dr. Sexy," Cas repeated. "When he comes on the screen your heart rate speeds up and your nostrils flare."
"My nostrils do not flare, and I am not attracted to Dr. Sexy. I like women. Geez, Cas." Dean looked back at the television. Dr. Piccolo was talking to a patient. Nobody should look that good in scrubs.
"Liking women doesn't preclude your being attracted to Dr. Sexy."
"Cas," Dean said. It was a good thing for Cas that all those years with Sam had taught Dean patience.
"It doesn't," Cas said. "I've been observing humans since you were created, and being attracted to one gender does not always preclude being attracted to the other gender."
"For some people," Dean said. "I'm not one of those people. I'm attracted to women. They smell good; they taste good; they have breasts."
Cas's eyes narrowed, the way they did when he was asking a question of one of his former superiors, a question intended to expose the flaws in their reasoning. "You believe you could never be attracted to a man?"
"Believe? I don't believe it. I know it."
"How do you know? Have you ever had sex with a man?"
"No, and I don't want to, which is how I know." Dean used his 'this is the end of the discussion voice.'
"I'm fairly certain you're attracted to Dr. Sexy. And if you've never tried sex with another man, how can you be sure you wouldn't enjoy it?"
Dean sighed. Apparently the end of discussion voice worked as well on Cas as it always had on Sam. "If I agree there is a remote -- very, very remote-- possibility that if I tried sex with a man I might enjoy it, will you shut up and let me watch the show?"
"You could simply kiss me. If you didn't enjoy it, that would be one indicator that you're right and you aren't attracted to men. Of course, if could also mean that you don't find me attractive and would find another man attractive, such as the actor who plays Dr. Sexy."
Dean stared at him. Cas, the guy who'd looked downright scared when Dean had taken him to a brothel, had just suggested they kiss as a means of establishing Dean's already well-established heterosexuality. "You want me to kiss you to prove I'm not gay."
"Bisexual."
"Whatever."
"As I said, it wouldn't necessarily be conclu--"
Holding up a hand, Dean cut him off. "Fine. On one condition. If I don't enjoy it -- and I won't -- you'll let me watch my show in peace and you won't ever bring this up again."
"That's two conditions. If there are two conditions, there should be two kisses."
"Fine. Two kisses. Let's just get this over with."
Cas frowned. "I'm not sure that's the proper tone to use with someone you're about to kiss."
"Oh, believe me, it was better than the alternative."
Standing, Cas removed his coat and tossed it over a chair. Dean raised his eyebrows. "I was getting more comfortable," Cas said as he sat back down.
"Ah," Dean said with a nod.
Cas shifted toward him, still sitting perfectly straight, his knees together although they were now pointing at Dean. "As the more experienced one you should probably lead."
"Right," Dean said. He was crazy. His life was crazy. His only friend, outside of Sam and Bobby, was even crazier than he was. But if there was one thing Dean had learned in his crazy life it was that sometimes you just had to take a deep breath and go for it.
Pulling in a breath, he leaned toward Cas. He was getting closer and closer to Cas's lips, which were rather curvy and full, something he'd never noticed before. Cas's eyes were focused right on him, watching him with a mix of curiosity and something that made Dean a little wary.
Dean sat back.
"What's the matter?"
"I can't do it," Dean said, shaking his head. "I told you I was straight."
Cas muttered something that sounded like "humans," placed a hand on either side of Dean's neck, and pulled him forward, pressing their lips together.
Cas's lips were soft. They felt nice against his, and Dean tugged gently on Cas's bottom lip, then the upper. Cas copied him, tugging back. Then there was some pressing and teasing. Cas had really nice lips. The stubble was weird, but other than that Cas's lips felt pretty good. Good enough to keep kissing.
Cas slid his hand from the side of Dean's neck to the back, his other hand gripping Dean's bicep.
The kisses were unhurried, like Cas wouldn't mind if they spent all night doing this, but they weren't casual. Cas was an angel and it felt like all the power, all the energy he possessed was focused on one thing -- caressing Dean's lips.
Dean pulled back. "I think that was more than two."
"It was seventeen."
Seventeen. He'd kissed Cas seventeen times. Cas was watching him closely. Clearly waiting on Dean to make a decision. Cas was in a man's body, and Dean was straight -- a straight man who apparently liked kissing angels in male bodies.
Cas's lips were parted and Dean was sure they were a little redder than before.
He was Dean Winchester. He'd been to hell. He'd lived through the fucking apocalypse. If he could do that, he could handle being bisexual.
Pressing his lips to Cas's, Dean used his body weight to turn them so Cas was leaning against the back of the couch and kissed Cas with every bit of skill he possessed.
He sucked on Cas's oh-so-full lower lip before pulling his lips away, just for a moment, and coming in at a new angle, lips parted. Cas answered by parting his own lips and Dean slipped his tongue inside.
Cas wrapped his arms around Dean's shoulder, lifting his body toward Dean's, seeking more contact, as Dean teased Cas's tongue with this own.
Cas, oh God Cas, Cas teased back.
Dean's hand had been on Cas's waist, but Dean slid it around Cas's back, trying to use his strength to bring Cas closer.
The kiss was getting wilder and deeper, but it couldn't last forever. Dean drew back, staring down at Cas, who was staring up at him. Cas's hair was sticking up in a couple of directions. It was bizarrely attractive that way. Hell, Cas was bizarrely attractive and Dean wasn't sure how he hadn't noticed that before.
"I thought you were a virgin," he said when found his voice, because Cas definitely hadn't kissed like a virgin.
"I learn quickly."
"Of course you do."
Cas smiled, an actual honest-to-God smile. "Is that a problem?"
"No, definitely not."
Cas pulled him closer and Dean went willingly. This kiss was slower, easier, and somehow just as much of a turn-on. It led to another and then another until for all Dean knew they'd kissed another seventeen times.
When Dean slid his lips to Cas's neck, Cas stretched under him offering up even more skin for Dean to taste and touch.
"Dean."
"Mmm?" Dean had better things to do with his lips than ask questions. He sucked gently on the skin beneath his mouth.
"Oh, that's..."
Dean moved his lips slightly downward and sucked again.
"Dean."
Clearly, Cas wanted to tell him something. He drew back. "Yeah."
"Your penis is erect and pressing into my hip."
Eyebrows lifting, Dean said, "Okay."
"So can we agree you're sexually attracted to men." It wasn't a question.
"Man, you really love to win arguments, don't you?"
"Yes."
The expression on Cas's face was as serious as his tone, except... Dean looked more closely, there was definitely a hint of amusement in his eyes. "Nope. Can't say that yet. As you pointed out, I won't know if I'll actually like sex with a man until I try it. We'll have to go further than this before I'm ready to hoist the pride flag."
"Very well," Cas said, pushing on Dean's shoulders until Dean sat back on the couch and then straddling Dean's lap. "Let's do more."
Proving just how fast a learner he was, Cas kissed him with devastating thoroughness, caressing Dean's lips and tongue before sliding his lips along the side of Dean's neck. Dean tilted his head back, and Cas sucked, too lightly to leave a mark but hard enough to make Dean groan.
Still sucking, Cas pressed his hand to Dean's cock. Instinctively, Dean lifted his hips, pressing into the touch.
"You like this," Cas said.
Dean nodded. There wasn't any point in denying it, not when Cas had proof of how much Dean liked it practically in his hand. Dean ran his own hands up Cas's sides. "You need to lose the jacket and the tie."
Cas dropped the jacket onto the floor behind him, then loosened the tie enough that he could pull it over his head. It, too, was abandoned on the floor.
Dean put his hands back on Cas's waist. That was better. He could feel actual skin on the other side of Cas's shirt. Tugging at the shirt, he pulled it free of Cas's pants and shoved it up enough so he could get his hands on bare skin.
"Oh," Cas said. The sound was barely above a whisper. Cas was looking down at him, his expression soft and surprised, like he hadn't known Dean would be touching him.
Stretching, Dean brought his lips to Cas's. Cas sank down into the kiss, his hands landing on the couch behind them, and Dean moved his hands up Cas's sides, feeling bare skin, the outline of bone and muscle beneath.
Cas's skin was warm and smooth beneath Dean's hands, and he couldn't get enough of it, sliding his hands up and over Cas's back.
His shirt was rucked up under his arms and Cas sat back. "I get the feeling you want me to lose the shirt, too."
"Yeah, that'd be good."
"Yours, too," Cas said, pulling at the side of Dean's t-shirt.
Sitting forward enough so he could pull the t-shirt without pushing Cas off of him took some work, but Dean managed, reaching behind him to pull the shirt off and drop it on the floor.
Cas didn't bother undoing all the buttons on his own shirt, lifting it over his head as soon as he had the first few undone.
Cas's chest wasn't going to be featured in Playgirl anytime soon, but Dean found himself reaching out anyway, cupping the curve of shoulder in his hand, learning the shape of it, before resting his hand on Cas's chest and rubbing his thumb over a nipple.
"I had no idea being touched would feel so good," Cas said, his eyes following Dean's hand as Dean caressed his chest.
Cupping the side of Cas's face in his hand, Dean stroked Cas's cheek with his thumb. "Human beings are made for touching."
"I want you to touch me everywhere."
It was such a Cas thing to say: honest, guileless. "I can do that." He'd be glad to do it. He wanted to do it.
"I want to touch you, too."
"We can do that, too," Dean said, drawing Cas into another kiss.
It was slow and heated, and Dean slid his hands over every bit of bare skin he could reach.
"The phrase 'get a room' mean anything to you two?"
Groaning silently, Dean hung his head. He couldn't look at Bobby right now.
"We are in a room," Cas said.
"Yeah, my living room. Next time try a room with a door. One that isn't in my house."
"Sorry, Bobby," Dean said, but he didn't look up.
"Just don't stain the couch."
"I can assure you we will not get semen on your couch," Cas said.
Dean tried to sink further into the cushions.
"Angels," Bobby muttered, and Dean heard him take a few steps. Then he added, loudly, "If you're not watching the television, turn the damn thing off."
Dean fumbled for the remote, found it and pressed the off button, replacing Dr. Sexy with a dark screen.
"He's gone," Cas said.
That was great. Really. But Dean was pretty sure the mood was lost.
"Dean."
Opening his eyes, Dean lifted his gaze to Cas's. "Yeah?"
Cas opened his mouth and Dean was fairly certain Cas was going to say something about how being caught with him shouldn't be any more embarrassing than being caught with a woman. But he must've changed his mind because instead of saying anything he kissed Dean. And, okay, maybe the mood hadn't been completely ruined.
By the time the kiss ended, Dean had almost forgotten completely about Bobby.
But then Cas slid to the floor, kneeling between Dean's legs and reaching for the button on Dean's jeans.
"Cas?"
"I believe I know how we can avoid staining Bobby's couch," Cas answered, lowering Dean's zipper.
Dean was hard and ready when Cas reached into his shorts and eased his cock free. Cas held it in his hand, looking at Dean's cock the way he looked at everything he hadn't seen before. Then he leaned forward and kissed the tip. Dean sucked in a shocked breath and an instant later Cas wrapped his lips around the head.
"How did you?" Dean asked.
His mouth hovering just over Dean's cock, Cas looked up at him. "My phone has an internet connection. Plus, I've been watching humans for eons, remember?"
"Right," Dean answered, his head still spinning at the thought of Cas's mouth on him, at Cas wanting to put his mouth on Dean.
Then Cas's lips were back, and the suction was so damn sweet. He slid his hands into Cas's hair, which was softer than it looked. But he really couldn't think about Cas's hair because Cas was sliding his mouth down Dean's shaft, and Cas's mouth looked incredible wrapped around a cock, wrapped around Dean's cock.
It wasn't the best blowjob Dean had ever received. You could only learn so much be watching. But it was the most memorable. Cas made these little sounds like he was enjoying what he was doing, and knowing Cas had never done this before, had probably never even wanted to, was blowing Dean's mind even more thoroughly than Cas's mouth was blowing his cock.
Cas kept looking up at him as he drew back, pinning Dean in place with that focused gaze of his. But then his eyes would fall shut as he slid back down, like he wanted to concentrate on the feel of Dean's cock filling his mouth.
It was damned erotic and it filled Dean with a crazy tenderness. He stroked the back of Cas's neck with his fingertips, but he knew the touch didn't come close to conveying what he was feeling.
Cas cupped Dean's balls in his hand, and Dean bit back a groan.
When Cas began moving faster, more urgently, there wasn't any way Dean could hold back. He gasped Cas's name, trying to let him know, and then he was over the edge, soaring even as his body jerked and spurted.
Hands gripping Dean's thighs and lips wrapped around the head of Dean's cock, Cas took everything Dean had to offer. Took it all and swallowed it down, until Dean didn't have anything left.
Spent, Dean leaned back against the couch and stared down at Cas, who sat back on his heels and licked quickly at his lower lip.
"Your taste is interesting."
Dean smiled. "You're awesome."
Cas smiled back, obviously pleased, and Dean decided he should compliment Cas more often. Cas rose smoothly to his feet. "You undoubtedly need some recovery time, but just so you're aware, I'm very aroused."
"Oh, you are, are you?"
Cas nodded. "I am."
Lifting himself out of his slouch, Dean slid an arm around Cas's waist, tugging him closer and kissing his stomach, which was smooth and firm and would need to be explored more later, maybe have a raspberry or two blown onto it. "Lay down," Dean said, giving Cas a gentle push in the direction of the couch.
For once, Cas did as he was told without arguing the issue first, stretching out on the end of the couch with one leg on the floor and the other thrown over the back, a position which left absolutely nothing to the imagination. Cas hadn't been kidding when he'd said he was aroused.
Shifting onto his knees, Dean opened Cas's pants and reached inside. Cas's cock was hard and smooth, thicker than Dean had expected. He gave it an awkward stroke, hand and wrist trapped in Cas's briefs.
"Dean," Cas said, voice low and urgent and really, really hot.
"Lift your hips."
Cas lifted his hips and pushed his pants and briefs down to mid-thigh, exposing a thick cock, red with arousal, and a hint of surprisingly muscular thigh.
Hand freed, Dean stroked him again, enjoying the feel of Cas's cock against his palm. Cas was staring up at him wide-eyed, hands clutching at the couch beneath him. Dean was pretty sure he could happily sit here all night stroking Cas's cock while Cas looked up at him like he was all kinds of awesome. But Cas had promised Bobby they wouldn't get any stains on the couch, and Dean was pretty sure Cas wouldn't be able to keep from coming if Dean tried to stroke him all night.
Cas had been-- maybe still was, Dean wasn't sure where the line was with this kind of sex -- a virgin, and if he could suck Dean off and swallow his come then Dean could certainly return the favor. Bending forward, he kissed the head of Cas's cock, just saying 'hello.' Then he opened his mouth and licked the head with the flat of his tongue.
Cas grabbed his shoulder.
Taking that as approval, Dean licked again before teasing the slit with the tip of his tongue. He could feel the tension in Cas's body, the desire and need. It was for him, because of him. Cas's legs were spread wide and his cock was hard because of Dean.
Closing his lips around the head, Dean sucked, sliding his lips downward until it met the hand he had wrapped around the base of Cas's shaft. Then he drew back, hand and mouth moving together, sucking steadily, until just the tip was between his lips. Reversing direction, he went down just as slowly.
This was how he liked blowjobs to start, slow and steady so he could enjoy every bit of it.
He glanced up. Cas had his head thrown back, eyes closed. He'd never looked more vulnerable. This time Dean paused at the top to circle the head with his tongue.
As he started back down, Cas lifted his hips. Dean was fairly certain he didn't know he was doing it, but Dean moved a little faster in answer.
Cas moaned.
Dean hoped Sam was asleep.
Guessing it wouldn't be long, Dean made certain he rubbed his tongue over the bundle of nerves on the underside of Cas's cock with every stroke.
Cas shifted under him, then went still.
Dean sucked hard on the head, stroking the shaft with his hand, and Cas began to come, his hand tightening painfully on Dean's shoulder.
Swallowing was easier than he'd thought. The taste wasn't that different than his own, maybe a little less bitter.
Cas didn't make a sound, but his mouth fell open and his upper body jerked so hard it lifted his shoulders from the couch.
Dean relaxed his suction and Cas collapsed back onto the couch. Releasing Cas's cock with a kiss to that spot on the back of the head, Dean sat up.
Debauched, Cas looked positively debauched. It was a good look for him. "So what did you think? Fun?"
Cas opened one eye. "That was far more enjoyable than it looks."
Putting his weight on his hands, Dean moved forward until he was stretched out over Cas. "As much as I hate to admit it, you were right. I do like sex with men, or at least you."
"I like sex with you, as well." Only Cas could sound like he was issuing a proclamation while smiling from ear to ear.
Dean kissed him, lingering just because he could.
"You don't sleep, do you?" Dean asked, pulling back.
"Not normally, why?"
"There's a reason they call sex 'sleeping together.'"
"You wish to me to sleep with you."
"If you want," Dean said, pushing back on his heels and then standing.
Cas lifted himself onto his elbows, watching as Dean retrieved a sheet, a couple of blankets and a pillow from behind a stack of books. "I'd be willing to rest with you."
"You should pull up your pants and take off your shoes."
"All right." Getting up from the couch Cas tucked away his cock, then toed off his shoes.
Dean spread the sheet on top of the couch. It was too big, but it still did the job. Adding the blankets, he climbed under them and settled onto his side, with his back against the back of the couch.
Cas lay down in front of him, turning onto his side.
Sliding an arm around Cas's waist, Dean pressed his chest to Cas's back.
"This is pleasant," Cas said.
"Mm-hmm," Dean answered, kissing the back of Cas's neck before closing his eyes.
***
Half-way to the kitchen, Sam stopped in his tracks. Dean wasn't alone on the couch. Not only wasn't he alone, he had a bare arm around Castiel, whose shoulders were also bare.
Dean was on the couch, at least half-naked -- if he was completely naked, Sam didn't want to know about it -- with Castiel.
That was different.
Really different.
Colossally different.
Sam resumed his journey to the kitchen, stopping twice to look over his shoulder and make certain he wasn't hallucinating.
"Bobby," Sam said, entering the kitchen. "Did you see what I saw?"
"If what you saw was your brother cuddling with an angel on my couch, then yes," Bobby answered without looking up from his newspaper.
Sam headed for the coffee pot. "That's -- Wow."
"You think that's bad, be grateful you didn't see what I saw last night. It'd scar you for life."
Cup filled, Sam replaced the pot and turned to look at Bobby. "What did you see?"
"Kissing. Half-naked kissing. On my couch."
Sam stared at him. Kissing. Dean and Cas had been kissing on Bobby's couch. "You caught them?" Sam asked, the corners of his lips starting to twitch.
"Castiel assured me they wouldn't get any semen stains on the couch."
Sam pressed his lips together, but it was a lost cause. The laugh escaped, and once it was out it just kept coming until he was bent over, hands on his thighs, laughing as hard as he could ever remember laughing.
Bobby watched him for a moment, then gave into the inevitable and joined in.
Cas, now dressed in trench coat and suit, appeared next to the table. "Are you two done?" He was looking at Sam with an expression that suggested smiting was a distinct possibility.
Managing to choke back the last of his laughter, Sam stood. "Sorry."
"I understand that the idea of your brother and I having sex is extremely amusing. It's a human thing, but if you're done being amused, I could use your help."
"With what?" Sam asked, straightening a little more.
"Dean. I'd prefer it if he didn't find out how amused you are." Cas looked pointedly at Bobby. "Either of you. It took a good deal of effort to convince him to have sex with me and if he thinks the two of you are laughing at him, it will take even more effort to convince him to do it again."
"You seduced Dean?" Sam asked. That was even more unexpected than finding them together.
"No." Cas sounded affronted at the suggestion. "Seduction implies deception or trickery. I used logic."
"You used logic," Sam repeated.
"Yes. I simply pointed out that he couldn't be certain he wouldn't enjoy sex with another male until he'd tried it. Logic."
"How very Dr. Spock of you," Bobby said.
Cas looked confused.
"I don't know. Helping you sleep with Dean, it's kind of weird."
"Perhaps I should explain," Cas said, and Sam looked at Bobby, who shrugged. "This is not solely about sex. As you know, his entire adult life Dean has indulged in casual liaisons with women. I don't believe these liaisons have been as satisfying as Dean says they are. His most recent attempt with Lisa is a good example." Cas held Sam's gaze with his own. Damn, the guy was intense. "His entire life, Dean has had to be responsible for others. First you and your father, then complete strangers, and ultimately the world. Even with the apocalypse over, that burden is not going to go away. I can share that burden."
Sam shifted his gaze to Bobby, who nodded slightly. "All right," Sam said. "We'll refrain from laughing, but you have to let us tease him a little or he'll know something is up."
Cas nodded. "Thank you." He looked at Bobby. "Next time we'll be more discreet."
"You better."
"I have some things to take care of in heaven. Please tell Dean I'll see him this evening."
"Cas," Sam said. "Don't hurt him."
"I won't," Cas answered, then he was gone.
"Well," Bobby said. "That's an interesting turn of events."
"Definitely," Sam said, picking up his coffee and sitting at the table. "What is it about Dean? Women fall for him. Angels fall for him."
"I have no idea."
Sam was nearly done with his coffee when Dean walked in. He'd put his t-shirt back on.
"Cas said to tell you he'd be back tonight. At which point the two of you will be going to a motel," Bobby said.
"Sure," Dean said, flushing as he walked past the table to the fridge. Opening it, he peered inside.
"So," Sam said. "What's it like? Sex with an angel?"
"It's like sex," Dean said, pulling out a carton of eggs and closing the door harder than was probably necessary. "How big of jerks are you two going to be about this?"
Sam frowned. "On a scale of one to ten... What do you think, Bobby?"
"Well, he's a guy, so that's worth at least a seven."
"And an angel," Sam said, "which moves it up to at least a nine."
"On the other hand, we do like the guy, even though he's a little weird."
"Five," Sam said, turning from Bobby to Dean.
"Five," Dean repeated. "I can live with five. Just do me a favor and direct it at me, not Cas, all right? He's still kind of new to all this."
If Dean wanted to believe that an angel who'd been around for thousands of years before Dean was even born was innocent, who was Sam to correct him? "We'll go easy on him."
"Good. Now who wants eggs?"