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“Captain, you’re human, more or less—”
“I seriously can’t tell if that’s supposed to be a compliment or an insult.”
“Neither, just a statement of fact. Please explain why so many of your fellow humans are throwing tantrums about something as small as briefly wearing a cloth mask while they shop.”
“Well, to be completely fair, I think most people are actually okay with it, but the ones who aren’t okay with it are…loud. And the loudest people are generally my fellow Americans, which says a lot of unfortunate things about America.”
“Yes, and you’re American, so explain.”
“It’s basically my anti-vaxxer rant except twice as long and three times as frustrated because the effort and risk involved are almost nonexistent instead of just really, really low, and it's mostly the federal government's fault on about five different levels.”
“It’s absurd. I have actual traumatic memories associated with something very like these masks, and you don’t see me throwing a fit about it.”
“You…haven’t worn a mask, because you haven’t been going anywhere, just like the rest of us.”
“Well, my smaller counterpart did, and I would if I had anywhere to go, so it still counts.”