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Clarence

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When the voice first came to you, you thought you were insane. So much so, that you checked yourself into a mental hospital. At first, you found peace. But soon, the voice returned, the medication doing nothing to quiet it.

OKAY!” You yelled at it one night. “Yes, Fuck! If you’ll shut up, then yes!”

And just like that, your body was no longer your own. Someone else was there, and you realized, you hadn’t been crazy after all. You could do nothing as your body rose out of bed, walked to the front desk and checked yourself out.

It wasn’t long before you were checked into a motel. The entity that took over was happy you had a cell phone with your possessions. A call was placed, and a few hours later two men knocked on your door. “Cas?” The tallest asked.

“Yes.”

And again, just like that, you were traveling with them. In the back of a beautiful car, always moving, always hunting. And when they slept, it talked. Castiel was the angels name. And Cas would talk about anything and everything. Every bit of the last few millennia that he thought you might find interesting. Every night, between clearing up lies in the bible, and talk about things even historians had forgotten, he promised you this was just temporary, and that he’d protect you as best he could.

It was weird at first, having Castiel in there with you. There was so much that he saw as black and white, and yet, so much looked much more colorful. Everything held a new meaning. You began to see the world through his eyes, as he watched over it through yours.

Eventually she came along too. The demon Meg. The most beautiful creature you had ever seen, and that voice. You could listen to her for days. You loved how she looked at you when she called Castiel Clarence. Every touch, every look, even the snide remarks, you wanted more. So did Cas.

You could feel it. You could feel how Cas looked at her, how he felt. You felt it too. Inside, you were screaming. “Just be with her! Come on Cas, just tell her! I like her too, I won’t mind!” But Castiel never did. Just kept it quiet.

She did kiss him once. You can still feel her lips on you to this very day. If you’d have had control, you’d have kissed back, kissed again. But Cas had just stood there awkwardly, and by the time the angel got it together, she was pulling away.

And then she was gone again, with a promise of coming back. She was helping the boys find something. You were sad to watch her go, but that was when you’d gotten the kiss, so it wasn’t all bad. You hoped you were still around when she came back.

One night, there was a knock on the door. You moved to open it and there he stood. You’d never seen him before in your life, but you knew his name. “Jimmy.”

He smiled. “I’m ready, Castiel.”

And as quick as he’d arrived, he was gone. You were your own again. You looked up into Jimmy’s beautiful blue eyes as they flashed even brighter before settling again. “You were a good, strong vessel.” He praised. “Not many could hold me as you have. Thank you.”

“A-are you leaving?” It felt weird having control again. You felt like you had to relearn how to walk, how to move.

He nodded. “Yes. We need to continue to fight. You’re fight is done, little one. Go back” He reached out, his hand brushing the hair away from your face and tucking it behind your ear. You smiled at him, eyes struggling to stay open as everything went dark.

Waking up in the motel bed, you’d never felt so alone. Castiel was gone, and stepping outside, you noticed the Impala was gone too. Sighing, you realized you had no way to get back home. You headed back in, grabbed what few possessions you had, and checked yourself out of the motel.

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That was all a long time ago, though it felt longer than it was. You accepted you’d never see any of them again. When you finally got back home, you decided to volunteer at the mental hospital. Maybe some of those crazy people weren’t as crazy as everyone thought. You had new knowledge thanks to Castiel, so you’d listen to their stories, finding grains of truth in their delusions. The staff didn’t mind, since it seemed having someone who really listened helped some of them to move forward in their treatment.

One day, you spotted Sam. He didn’t leave his room much, and he didn’t seem to notice you. You thought maybe he was on some kind of a case, and left him alone. He probably wouldn’t remember you anyways. You had been so insignificant in his life.

And then he was gone.

But not long after, you heard a voice you thought you’d never hear again. It stopped you in your tracks. You glanced down a side hall, and there she was. Beautiful as ever. “Meg.” You said her name softly, so much so that you barely heard it, but she did, and she turned.

She regarded you with uncertainty. Judging if you were a threat as she stood guarding a door. You stepped closer, but she raised a hand to stop you. “Who are you?”

“Y/N.” She shook her head, indicating she had no idea. “You called me Clarence.”

“I only ever called one being Clarence.” She watched you.

“I was his vessel.” You told her softly, holding your hands up and stepping closer. “I-I never thought I’d see you again.”

“Why are you here?”

“I volunteer. Ever since I found my way back from where they left me. I try to help people in the only way I know how. I can’t do it like he did, but I feel this need to.” You licked your lips. “Why are you here?”

She glanced at the door. “Watching over him.”

You stepped closer and looked in the window. “Jimmy?”

“Clarence.” She answered softly.