Sam decided to go for a run. It was becoming his routine excuse when they were working a case; because god forbid Dean should take his own motel room in case his angelic boyfriend showed up.
“A run, now?” Dean questioned as he put an arm around Castiel’s shoulders. “It’s dark out.”
“Yeah well, what can I say? I’m sensitive about my recent weight gain,” his brother stated, lying to cover for his real reasons.
It wasn’t that he objected to their new closer relationship, quite the opposite. Sam was happy for both of them. He just didn’t feel comfortable hanging out in the same small space when they started getting more involved than simple kissing.
Things got marginally easier after they moved into the Men of Letters Bunker. That place was a veritable labyrinth of rooms and corridors and Sam could keep his distance when he needed.
Sam was sitting at the large conference sized, war-room table with his laptop when Dean crashed down in a chair and opened a beer. His older brother looked upset for some reason and Sam could tell that he would need to coax it out of him.
“So...everything okay with you and Cas?” Sam prodded with reluctance.
“Peachy,” Dean retorted before taking a swig from his bottle.
“Um...you sure about that? I only ask because he just got here and he’s left already.”
“So, you two usually hideout in your room and turn your music up real loud,” Sam elaborated. “This time I didn’t hear any music and like I said—Cas left in a hurry.”
“We had a disagreement,” Dean huffed between gulps. “It happens.”
“Nothing too big, I hope?”
Sam could tell that this was all he was going to get out of Dean. “Alright, well let me know if I can help somehow.”
Dean snorted out his nostrils. “Sure, ‘cause I’m gonna ask the guy who runs for the hills when he so much as suspects I’m gonna make-out with my boyfriend.”
“That’s not true. I don’t do that...anymore,” Sam said defensively, making a pained face. “Look it’s like a privacy thing. I didn’t like watching you get it on with women either, Dean. Not everyone enjoys being a voyeur.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?” Dean countered cooly.
“Oh come on,” Sam snapped. “You’ve totally watched me with women before. Not having sex, but you get all keyed up watching us kiss. And that one time Cas kissed Meg? I thought you were going to join them for a half a second you were so turned on.”
“What!? That never happened!”
“It totally did, Dean!”
Dean snickered into the neck of his beer bottle. “That was really out of left field, though. So crazy hot.”
“Please tell me you’re muttering about Cas and Meg?” Sam whined.
“Yes, Sam. Geez,” Dean complained. “And for the record I wanted to kill Meg, not join her.”
“You do hate it when people misuse your things,” Sam jibed with a wry grin.
Dean was about to argue that Castiel wasn’t a thing and at the time the angel was far from being his; but the whole incident was already getting too much attention for his taste and he let it go.
“So what happened? What was the disagreement?” Sam prompted for a second time.
“Nothing you need to know about, Sammy. Trust me.”
Castiel followed Dean into his room. He paused momentarily to admire the photo he kept beside his clock radio; the one with his mother and Dean as a toddler. He smiled affectionately and joined Dean on the bed.
Before Dean even had a chance to reach for his tape deck, Cas was on him. Dean loved the taste of Castiel’s mouth; it was sweet like honey. His lips were pillowy soft and the small musical sounds he made were a riot. Sometimes Dean had to remind himself that the angel was new to all of this.
After months of playing it safe and taking things slow, Dean had been ready to take things further. What Dean didn’t know was what that looked like. Dean’s idea of getting closer was to start touching each other more intimately, with fewer clothes on. Cas had a different concept of what touching intimately meant.
Dean was quickly getting lost in Cas’ mouth as the not so angelic angel pressed his back down into the bed. He could feel a his skin tingling on his neck and face and then suddenly a thrilling, potent orgasmic rush of energy shot through him.
Dean let out a gasping moan of pleasure, his eyes screwed shut as his body desperately tried to interpret what was going on. It was unlike anything the hunter had ever experienced in his life and he was quite schooled in most things sexual.
“What...the...fuck...Cas?” he panted at length, doing his best to form words.
A stupidly satisfied grin was plastered on his lover’s lips. “That was very nice, wasn’t it,” Cas chirped before leaning down and kissing him luridly again.
“Wait...hold up,” Dean implored, making him stop. Not that he really wanted Cas to stop. He just needed some quick clarification. “What was that?”
“That was the result of your desire for more concrete intimacy,” Castiel explained playfully.
“Dude, I have never felt so good from only kissing before,” Dean drawled, feeling confused still.
“That’s because we weren’t simply kissing, Dean,” the angel explained. “In emotional moments such as those where you are most vulnerable my bond with you is strongest; especially when you’re open and willing to connect with me. The act of passionately embracing is an ideal example of this phenomenon. Therefore, my angel grace was able to interact with your soul.”
“So that wasn’t a physical orgasm...that was..?”
“Ecstasy in it’s most raw and literal form, yes.”
“Like all those weirdo saints when they claim to be in communion with the Holy Spirit?” Dean ranted in disbelief.
“Exactly...only this is more sexually explicit on my part,” Cas confessed.
“Huh, that’s um...unexpected,” was all Dean could manage. In truth he didn’t know what to say. “So um, if I can feel this way by simply making out...what happens when we, you know, have sex?”
“Much of the same I would imagine, only perhaps more profound since that will be a melding of body and soul.”
Rationally Dean should be thrilled. Only he isn’t; he’s actually frightened.
“You find this all a bit too much, don’t you?” Cas inquired with a sensitive frown. “We can take things slower; I can keep my nature to myself.”
“It’ll just take some getting used to, Cas. I mean you’re basically offering me crack or something. I’m sorta worried that there could be side effects in the long run.”
“Dean, don’t be concerned. The effects of drugs on humans is very different than pure divine energy. You are completely safe, I assure you.”
“Wait...divine energy?” Dean countered as another worrisome problem occurred to him. “You aren’t gonna accidentally knock me up or anything are you?”
“Of course not. I have no intention of mating with you. Besides, you are physiologically male, Dean. You don’t have a uterus.”
“Good. Wait? Are you seriously saying that we aren’t ever going to have sex?”
“No. Not exactly. You can have sex with me; which is probably more ideal since I will not experience any discomfort the way that you might. However I will not be.”
“Be what? Having your own orgasms?” Dean prodded, the bizarreness of this conversation starting to feel less bizarre.
“You see that could be an issue. As long as I am in control of my senses I can pleasure you. However if I lose that control I could accidentally release too much energy and well...you could explode.”
“Angels are not meant to be with humans. It is a rather large no-no, Dean. The only angels who have ever done so successfully are those who have fallen from grace. Which implies that they barely have any angelic qualities left.”
“Right, like when you were practically human right before we faced off against Lucifer and Michael,” Dean recalled bitterly. “So...what do we do? I know you don’t want to kill me and if Sam is sleeping across the hallway...you could potentially kill him too.”
“Hmm, that would be bad.”
“Ya think? Why didn’t you bring this up sooner!?”
“Perhaps I should have, and perhaps we should place our dalliance on pause while I look into this problem and try to come up with a resolution,” Cas said with trepidation. “I cannot see how I can resist you now that I have you,” he added quite heatedly.
“Right back at ya,” Dean mused devilishly. Then he leaned up and claimed Cas’ mouth as though possessed.
It happened again, much faster this time and Dean literally felt like he wasn’t only happy, but he was happiness itself if it took human form. Then Cas disappeared and Dean wanted to kill something.
“Not like drugs, my ass,” he mumbled to himself. He needed alcohol and a lot of it.
Castiel returned three days later. By now Dean was in a very disgruntled mood.
“Took you long enough,” he chastised as he hugged his angel despite his stormy words.
“Dean, I’m uncertain that you will like my solution to our very dire problem.”
“Well, tell me what it is and I swear to think on it before I take your head off,” Dean said amicably.
“Do you recall when I placed those enochian symbols on your rib cage to keep angels from locating you?” Castiel queried thoughtfully.
“Yes, Cas, why? Would they stop me from exploding?”
“Not those, but perhaps a different set of symbols,” the angel explained. “I believe carving them into your bones in a similar fashion will make it more difficult to distort or damage them by accident.”
“That’s great. I’ll do it,” Dean cheered with relief.
“There is one other thing,” Cas muttered as he looked towards Dean’s bedroom door. “You need to ask Sam for his permission before I can apply them to him as well.”
“Oh man. Sam will automatically know when we have sex now,” Dean groaned.
“He may not always know, Dean,” Cas rebutted. “But he will know that we will be at some point since we are using precautionary measures.”
“Ha! It’s like angel prophylaxis!” Dean laughed.
“I’m so happy this amuses you so greatly,” said Cas in a dead pan manner that made Dean laugh even harder. “Hold still, Dean. I would hate to misprint one of these symbols.”
“Oh, wow. You’re doing this now?”
“Yes, I am,” the angel replied with a smirk.
They made up some convoluted story to tell Sam as an excuse for needing the enochian sigils again. Dean rambled off something about angels who might use the hunters to find Cas; angel’s that wanted vengeance for his crimes in heaven. Technically it was a fairly valid concern and Cas even added a few extra marks to legitimately keep them hidden.
Back in Dean’s bedroom they discussed what to do next.
“So, now what?” Dean asked as he looked down at his chest, even though he couldn’t actually see anything. He could feel the ache in his bones, though and Cas could sense his discomfort.
“Now, I make you more comfortable,” Cas purred as he took off his trench coat and folded over the back of a chair.
Dean’s eyes widen and he reflexively licked his lips. “Whoa, tiger. Don’t you think we should test this stuff out first with something harmless?”
“I’m not sure if that’s possible. Generally I would imagine that I go from my normal state to full on expressing my devotion without much in between the two.”
His summation made his human lover blush bright pink. “That’s so hot and so freaking scary all at the same time,” Dean stammered.
Dean was used to being casual with sex. He was easy going by nature and enjoyed flirting and fooling around. This was not that. This could literally change his life forever, or end it.
Castiel began loosening his neck tie and then removed it all together. As he started on his shirt buttons, Dean decided to just go with it and yanked his plaid over-shirt and olive green t-shirt off all in one go. Now his hair looked as unkept as the angel’s always did.
“You are a very handsome specimen of a man, Dean,” Cas told him softly as the hunter helped himself to the angel’s belt buckle.
“You ain’t so bad yourself,” Dean commented with a touch of anxiety. “You’re sure Jimmy’s gone right? This is just you and me?”
“Yes, Dean,” Cas hummed as he reached to touch the shell of Dean’s ear. “It is only us.”
Dean stopped to smile at how delicate Cas was being with his fingers when he could tell that on the inside he was like a volcano waiting to erupt. After whipping the leather belt out of its loops, he leaned in and shamelessly claimed Cas’ mouth hungrily.
“Lights on or off?” Dean asked auspiciously when they parted.
“I can see you no matter what; so you can choose,” Cas informed him plainly.
“On it is,” Dean stated as he nuzzled his nose into Cas’s neck and breathed him in.
Cas let his head fall back for a moment as he revelled in the simple pleasure of having Dean’s full, erotic attention.
Sometimes when he covertly observed Dean with the women he bedded he was quick with them, though both parties were always completely satisfied before they were done. To have Dean take his time with him in this way held meaning. This experience was special to him; Cas was special to him.
The angel nudged his lover backwards until they reached the bed and tumbled softly onto the mattress. Strangely, Cas was on top again, taking the lead. His hands explored the plains of Dean’s exposed upper half. Then they slowly proceeded downwards and began opening the front of his jeans.
“Wait,” Dean grumbled, pulling away slightly. Cas gave him a perplexed look and then realized what the issue was. Dean wore heavy, workman’s boots and they would need to come off.
Cas took this as an opportunity to remove his own footwear. In the future he would probably expend a little energy and simply snap away their cumbersome clothing. However, tonight they were doing this the slow and steady human way.
Before Dean resumed his position under his lover he also removed his jeans and unceremoniously pulled down Cas’ dress pants while he was at it. As he was standing back up he noticed Cas staring right at his groin.
“See something you like, Cas?” he teased.
“It’s odd. I have seen you in many states of undress before now, however this time I am nervous,” Cas confessed.
“That’s not because I’m nearly naked,” Dean said wisely. “It’s ‘cause your anticipating what comes next.”
“What if I got the sigils wrong and you explode?”
“Can’t you just put me back together?”
“Not if I explode your soul, Dean.”
“Oh...huh...I think I misunderstood that bit.” Indeed his very essence being obliterated sounded fairly permanent.
“We can stop. We can simply kiss some more?” Cas told him, giving him a way out before things went too far.
“Well, let’s do that; but let’s also stay in our briefs,” Dean suggested, wanting to indulge in feeling himself pressed against more of his lover’s flesh at last.
“Okay,” Cas replied with a shrug.
They returned to their positions on the bed. Dean could feel Cas’ tongue fighting him for dominance and wondered how much longer this would be safe. The angel was making more of those tantalizing noises and Dean unintentionally opened up to him.
A shudder of bliss shot through him and Dean moaned loudly. Instinct kicked in and the human groped for his lover’s hardening erection. Cas hissed at the contact, but desirously pushed into Dean’s hand. It wasn’t enough, Cas wanted more, needed it. He was supposed to stay level headed and in control, but the more Dean writhed beneath him the more he wanted to know what he was feeling.
That was when Cas opened himself too. He tried to keep a measure of balance to his submission, but everything began to blur together. It was becoming impossible to know where the angel ended and Dean began.
Like a power surge in a storm, the lights flickered in the lamps beside the bed. Cas knew he should stop, but he no longer knew how. A high hum sounded in the room and a brilliant, uncontrolled expulsion of energy expelled from the angel like a bomb going off. The bulbs burst and the room shook before plunging into darkness.
Out in the library Sam rushed to a doorway, thinking there was an earthquake. Several books toppled off of the shelves, but nothing too destructive. Then it was over. He looked around the room and steadied himself. He was about to call for his brother to make sure he was alright when he recalled that Castiel was with him.
Then a second thought occurred to him.
Sam screwed up his face in an expression of disgust and decided against checking on Dean, at least for now.
A fleeting fearful moment gave way to joy when Cas could see that Dean was still in one piece. The man was smiling, though verging on unconscious.
“Are you alright, Dean?” Cas asked him lightheartedly.
“I can honestly say without any doubt that this is the best I’ve ever been—ever,” Dean murmured, half slurring. “Talk about ‘holy fuck’, Cas.”
The angel snickered at his need to curse at a time like this, but he wouldn’t be Dean if he didn’t say something offensive with complete unguarded honesty.
“I love you, Dean. I am so very pleased that you didn’t explode.”
“Oh, I exploded,” Dean confided, “But also came back together, thanks to you.”
This was highly unlikely, however if Dean felt half as in orbit as Cas was currently feeling then he had no argument. The angel snuggled into his hunter lover and closed his eyes. They hadn’t even made it to actual intercourse yet, though he didn’t care. This was so much better.
As they were both finally giving in to exhaustion and the peacefulness brought about by the angelic grace touching the righteous soul, Dean kissed Cas one last time.
“I love you too, my baby in a trench coat.”