Kim Taehyung, alias "V," is good at sex. He knows this, his viewers sure as hell know this, and his directors know this too - so when the film proposals come rolling into his manager's lap, there's not much Taehyung can do besides flash that smile and say yes.
He starts from the live cam shows as all of the new boys do, jerking off in front of the camera and coming with a throaty moan, getting his jizz everywhere. The comment boxes explode with encouragement and pleads for more, and it isn't long before Taehyung's worked through a wild assortment of sex toys and is hitting the big screen, more solo shows but also his first scenes with the other porn stars at BTS Entertainment.
Seokjin - all broad shoulders and height and a big cock to match - practically bends Taehyung in half and Taehyung plays it up, writhing and moaning "Yes, Jin, yes, fuck" breathlessly. He calls Namjoon 'Professor' and gets down on his knees for that A grade, and a dance practice turns into something else just as fun and strenuous when Taehyung does his first set with Jung Hoseok. It's all good, really. He fucks and is fucked and when he meets Park Jimin, resident babe and holder of the '#1 Most Played Videos' title, their chemistry onscreen sparks a trilogy of films because the viewers just can't get enough. One word - bondage.
So yeah. It's hella good. He looks hot on cam while getting enough money to move out of the dorms and milk his new apartment for all its worth, with enough leftover to save some and ditch that instant ramen life (jokes, sometimes a bowl of ramen is too good to abandon). And if Taehyung can bestow higher quality orgasms upon the world while climbing the ranks to beat out Jimin, why the fuck not?
When Taehyung rolls into his latest shoot, limber and cheerful, the boy sitting in his co-star's chair isn't someone he recognizes. "Fresh blood?" he asks his manager, a man named Jo Kwon who owns the highest heels Taehyung has ever seen and has more than enough sass to match.
"Some of the best," Jo Kwon says with satisfaction. "Jeon Jeongguk. You should see the girls cry over him. He just joined recently but already rumor has it no one walks away from one of his sets without a boner to deal with, so imagine how it'll feel to film with him."
Rumors fly rampant in their industry, and in Taehyung's experience, they've ranged from wildly false (that guy's dick was not an anaconda but more like a tadpole, bye) to wildly true (that other guy, Suga, does rim like a god. Taehyung came twice, sobbing, before he even got some dick up his ass, and he's never forgotten it). He'll just have to find out for himself how this Jeongguk guy is in the sack, then.
"Hey there," Taehyung says, settling in his own chair next to Jeongguk's. He's always find it fucking hilarious how they get chairs like actors do for cinema-appropriate films, but he's more than willing to humor the CEO's sense of humor. His job is great.
Jeongguk flicks his eyes up from the script in his lap and settles on Taehyung for a few moments before sliding his gaze back down. "Hello," he says coolly.
Damn, he better warm the fuck up once they're on set, Taehyung thinks to himself, because he's not gonna get hot and heavy with this dude if he wants to act like an iceberg. It does help, however, that Jeongguk's gorgeous, probably one of the best looking guys Taehyung's ever filmed with - or is going to film with, anyways - and say what you will, that always helps. Definitely. The best part of Jeongguk is he's Taehyung's type, torso and shoulders deliciously broad in his t-shirt (though no one's ever going to hold a candle to Kim Seokjin. Taehyung sighs dreamily and allows himself a moment to reminisce about his debut film.) and eyes dark and serious, because Taehyung loves riling those guys up most. Finding out what makes them tick, playing them in circles before wrapping them around his pinky finger. It doesn't even bother him that Jeongguk isn't a conversation-making guy.
The set-up is simple enough - and not too lowkey creepy, because once Jimin solemnly told him about this threesome film he did where he was getting it on with one guy in the back of his car only to get a creeper watching them through the window, only to somehow join them inside the house. Yeah, no. Jeongguk is just some guy who'll walk into Taehyung's hotel room and they're gonna have lots of sex and it'll be that. Viewers don't watch for plot, after all. (There's a sequel in talks for outdoor semi-public sex, if this goes well, which Taehyung would totally be game for.)
Taehyung sits obediently on the bed, cross-legged in these extra tiny red shorts that they shoved into his hands, Jo Kwon smiling beatifically at him as Taehyung went to go change. Jeongguk's got a bit more on than he does, a flannel layered over the shirt he was originally wearing and these dark wash jeans that hug his thighs just right. Taehyung wipes away his drool sneakily and ogles Jeongguk's ass instead, because it's not Jimin's ass, but it's damn nice. He hasn't been this game for a shoot since they told him he was gonna fuck Mr. #1.
"Okay," bellows the director, the cameramen shuffling into place at his orders. "Jeongguk, wait on the other side of that door. We'll tell you when to come in, and make sure to knock. And Taehyung, I need you sprawled on the bed."
Taehyung obeys, relaxing so his limbs go loose and languid and props one knee up as instructed, letting his thighs fall open. He's supposed to be napping and having a hot sexy dream, only to wake up hard when Jeongguk knocks to be let in. Sometimes porn stars will have someone on the side to jerk them off and get them ready to perform, but Taehyung's long proved he doesn't need fluffers.
Today it's even easier than usual, picturing Jeongguk's long-fingered, wide-palmed hands around his cock, the soft pants Taehyung will wrangle into whimpers and whines of his name. Yeah, he can feel himself at the beginnings of getting hard already. Perks of having a vivid imagination. He clears his first solo scene easy, rubbing himself through his shorts as if in sleep, and then Jeongguk's knock comes.
He startles awake. Stumbles off the bed and into the hallway, pauses so the cameras can adjust to get the right angle of his boner in his shorts, then goes to answer the door.
Jeongguk's on the other side of the door when he pulls it open, of course, but Taehyung is genuinely taken aback when he sees him, the heated intensity in his eyes, the way his body practically looks like he's coiled to pounce. The script said so but seeing it with his own eyes is enough to make Taehyung's reaction - a startled moan - real when Jeongguk pushes his way in and presses Taehyung against the wall of the hallway, kissing him. Deep and consuming, a possessive hand already splayed on Taehyung's stomach with his shirt rucked halfway up his chest.
He first figured out he liked to be manhandled when he did his third film with Seokjin, pushed face down onto the bed with his wrists held behind his back as Seokjin fucked into him. Taehyung always comes hard, earnest and enthusiastic, but that day he hit his climax, practically shouted, and had to lie there on the bed and recuperate for a minute even as the cameras stopped rolling. Seokjin had laughed softly and smoothed a hand through Taehyung's sweaty hair. "Look into that," he whispered into Taehyung's ear.
Taehyung was not one to turn down good advice. By the time he'd had his first threesome film and thoroughly enjoyed being the filling of a hot man sandwich, Taehyung had a pretty good idea of what he liked - and Jeongguk, this newbie who he's never even seen a film of, is hitting all those buttons hard.
When Jeongguk bites his bottom lip, Taehyung cries out, fingers scrambling to grip onto Jeongguk's shirt and reel him back in as Jeongguk draws back. "Let's check out the bed," Jeongguk says, and the dry porno dialogue on his lips should be lame and laughter-worthy but Taehyung is so on board he doesn't really care.
"Yeah," Taehyung whispers, and licks back into Jeongguk's mouth. "Let's do that." (He thinks he hears the director sigh in exasperation, but time has made its decree and everyone knows by now that viewers eat that shit up when Taehyung deviates from the script.)
They stumble down the hall, made a little difficult when they're still trying to make out and Taehyung is tempted to try and climb Jeongguk's lithe body, wrap his legs around his waist and let himself be carried, but maybe next time. For now, he lets Jeongguk tip him back onto the bed and crawl on top of him, hovering over him on all fours. 'Make out,' the script said poignantly, and make out they do, Taehyung curling his arms around Jeongguk's neck and letting himself get caught up in it until the director calls cut and gives them the okay to move along.
It shouldn't come as such a shock when Taehyung loses control of the scene but it does, Jeongguk's long fingers skittering along the edge of Taehyung's shorts before he's pushing Taehyung's shirt off and over his head. "You, too," Taehyung gasps out, tugging insistently at Jeongguk's flannel and Jeongguk lets him, preoccupied in tonguing at Taehyung's nipple and smirking when Taehyung whines and arches into it. He draws back to help Taehyung get rid of his flannel, pulls his own shirt off, and the skin on skin is delicious.
When he leans back down, it's not to kiss Taehyung - Taehyung whines again, this time in complaint - but instead he's kissing his way down Taehyung's bare stomach, the slight firmness of his abs (they like him soft yet lean in places, what can he say) and nuzzles against the tent in Taehyung's shorts, reminding him that he's been hard forever. "Hey," he says.
"What," Taehyung gasps out reflexively.
"Can I suck you off?" Jeongguk says, and when Taehyung manages a weak nod, he's going for it, easing Taehyung's shorts and boxers off in one and licking over the head of Taehyung's cock. When the director calls cut, makes them hold still so they can get a camera at the head of the bed, Taehyung nearly cries out in frustration; suddenly Jeongguk's mouth on his dick is the one thing he needs most right now.
Seriously, it's kind of infuriating, how composed Jeongguk looks as they move the cameras where they need to go - he's just there, waiting between Taehyung's thighs with Taehyung's goddamn cock right in front of his face. Who is this guy? It's off the script, and Jo Kwon's probably going to tear him a new asshole for this later, but Taehyung reaches out and cups the bulge between Jeongguk's legs and Jeongguk practically jerks at the touch. "Stop," Jeongguk hisses, his voice suddenly surprisingly severe without the cameras rolling.
Taehyung smiles smugly up at him; that tone is much less effective when he can feel how hard Jeongguk is for him, and it seems the rumors about his cock size didn't disappoint. "We'll get there soon enough, anyways," he says, and pulls his hand away as the director calls their attention again, letting them resume.
He can't help but admit it's impressive, the way Jeongguk flips that mental switch and dives right back into it, sucking Taehyung off like a champ. Something about it takes him in, pulls Taehyung under his spell like all of Jeongguk's poor viewers, and when Jeongguk pulls off with a pop, there's nothing else he can do when Jeongguk tells him to reverse positions with him. It's a bit awkward in the script but there's nothing awkward about this, the way Jeongguk puts Taehyung right where he wants him and that's here, on his hands and knees to suck Jeongguk off as Jeongguk puts those huge hands on Taehyung's ass and spreads his cheeks, making Taehyung shiver. Jeongguk hasn't even taken his pants off yet and he can't seem to recall whether the script said he needed to or not.
The cameramen shuffle into place as quickly as they can, but the director knows better than call stops now, with the flow going so well. Taehyung's thankful because with the first swipe of Jeongguk's tongue across his hole, he's trembling, flinching in Jeongguk's hands because he can't figure out whether he's okay with how this feels. Every time Taehyung gets rimmed, it's like this, like it's the first time - something so sinfully good he wants to squirm away and towards it at the same time, and Jeongguk...Jeongguk is so good at it Taehyung's gasping out moans around Jeongguk's cock.
"Take it deeper," Jeongguk says as he pulls his face back for air, and Taehyung shudders and, though he would've snapped something snarky back before, just hollows his cheeks around Jeongguk's cock and obeys.
He's getting into the headspace where he'll do anything that he's told, floaty and malleable like if Jeongguk wanted to push Taehyung's legs back so they rested on Jeongguk's shoulders - a position of flexibility usually far out of his realm and more in Jimin's - he probably could. As it is, with Jeongguk licking into his hole and reaching around to curl his fingers around Taehyung's cock and dip a thumb into the precome at his slit, he's putty in Jeongguk's hands. Taehyung keens at the added stimulation and almost chokes on Jeongguk's dick, not that he thinks either of them would object, but it's not on the agenda.
A hand gesture from the director, and Jeongguk withdraws again, leaving Taehyung mouthing at his cock helplessly as Jeongguk reaches for the conveniently placed lube. He drizzles it on his fingers and waits for it to warm a little, to Taehyung's surprise, and by the time he slides in the first, Taehyung is more than ready and hungry for it. "Yes, yes," he begs, unconsciously spreading his legs farther apart.
"Look at you," Jeongguk says lowly, and nips at Taehyung's ass cheek, Taehyung crying out in surprise at the sudden, momentary pain. This is off the script now, completely off the mark from whatever cliché line he was supposed to say, and there's not much Taehyung can do besides go with whatever Jeongguk wants him to do.
It's crazy, the way Jeongguk touches him - like Taehyung isn't a porn star who regularly enjoys getting pounded into mattresses and in other various positions. He's taken cocks with minimal prep before but Jeongguk stretches him out and rims him all over again, until Taehyung has to take his mouth off Jeongguk's cock or else he will choke. He presses his head to Jeongguk's thigh, the fabric of his jeans stiff against his skin, and lets the whimpers and moans trip out of his mouth.
When the director finally stops them, Taehyung barely raises his head from Jeongguk's leg, panting as he's told it's enough foreplay, time to move on to the fucking. It's about time, Taehyung's been craving more than the tease of Jeongguk's fingers against his prostate, not that he's objecting the slightest to that. His limbs are clumsy as Jeongguk pulls him into place, on his hands and knees but this time with Jeongguk behind him, smoothing hands down the length of Taehyung's bare back. There's the plasticky sound of a condom being opened and put on, and then Jeongguk throws aside the empty wrapper and apparently gives the crew the okay, because they're on again.
"Tell me you want it," Jeongguk says, back on his lines. "You do, don't you?"
Taehyung presses his face against the crook of his elbow and thinks about Jeongguk's cock in his mouth, the weight of him on Taehyung's tongue and so much heat. Thinks about it inside of him. "Yes," he gasps out.
Jeongguk dips a single finger into Taehyung's hole and Taehyung squirms against it, seeking more. "I can't hear you."
"I said yes," Taehyung says, louder, forcing out the words, "I want it!" and is rewarded when Jeongguk slides in, the sound of it wet in Taehyung's ears. It's everything he wanted and more, filling Taehyung up and pounding into him without pause to let him adjust. Even with the director and cameramen moving around them, making them stop to get the right angles, it's over faster than Taehyung's used to, Jeongguk coming in a mess all over Taehyung's back. He curls his fingers around Taehyung's cock and it only takes a few pulls before Taehyung follows in suit, come dripping onto the mattress below them like the most stereotypical porn shot.
"How was it? How was it, how was it," Jimin yells into his ear and Taehyung winces, pulling the phone from his ear.
"What do you mean how was it," Taehyung complains. "You've fucked him too. A lot. Why do you have to ask?" And he literally has. When Taehyung got home, legs still a little wobbly from having the daylights fucked out of him by Jeon Jeongguk, he fired up his laptop and ended up watching three of Jeongguk's most-viewed films in a row, including one where he and Jimin went at it like animals. (After a while, you kind of get used to seeing your best friend in a porno, especially when you've starred in one with him yourself.)
"I know but still," Jimin says, and waits. Not very patiently, though, Taehyung can hear him fidgeting on the other end of the line.
"Fine," Taehyung says at last, scowling hard as if Jimin can see him from the other side. Maybe he can feel the force of it through the phone, though. "It was great. Really great and he rimmed me until I thought I was going to cry and I came really hard. What else do you want to hear?"
Jimin snickers at him. "Yeah, he's amazing at it, right?"
"You suck," Taehyung says instead, and then groans when he realizes what he's said. Seriously, the one downside of being in the porn industry is you can't say these words without them being a little too close to true. Jimin's sucked his dick and Jeongguk's and a whole lot more, et cetera.
"Some kind of best friend you are," he says to Jimin, and clicks on another video with Jeongguk in it, because he's a masochist like that.
Taehyung does a few more films, sadly none with Seokjin but there's one with a strange but fun bro theme with Jimin (if this sprouts a new series, he's just gonna let it happen. No bromo and all that), until Jo Kwon puts a manila file into his hands looking like the cat that got the cream during their next meeting together. Taehyung's never too sure how to interpret that look, but it always ends up with come in his hair.
He opens it and bam, right there, says Jeongguk's name next to his for his next film. "Oh god," he mumbles and skims the summary. "What is this?"
Jo Kwon doesn't lose the self-satisfied expression. "What it says on the paper. The viewers ate it up, what you two did last time, so they wanted something more along those lines."
"Jo Kwon," Taehyung says flatly. "They want us to pretend we're boyfriends having sex for the first time. They want us to go out on a dinner date and for me to to be his blushing virgin bride."
"Well, you do what the viewers want," Jo Kwon says cheerfully. "Maybe this week you'll actually hit #1 and steal the position out from Jimin's nose, hmm?"
That's true, Taehyung thinks to himself, and it's not like he's in a position to turn down the projects he's given anyways.
They have that dinner date to go to, and there's actually some semblance of plot this time around, so styling takes longer than it did for their first film. Taehyung tips his head back dutifully as they powder his face and make all his flaws disappear. He's going to go on a date, and it's going to go perfectly, and he's going to have sex for the first time and that's going to go perfectly too, and that's all Taehyung needs to think about right now. And if the fact that Jeongguk's going to be sitting on the other side of the table makes him kind of nervous for some inexplicable reason, Taehyung's just gotta settle the butterflies in his stomach before they start shooting.
The script is pretty adorable in sickening way - Jeongguk holds his hand, opens the door for him when they get to the restaurant; Taehyung half-expects to read on the script that Jeongguk's pulling his chair out for him to sit down, too, but thankfully Taehyung gets to do that for himself. He's an independent young man and everything. What's worse is that Jeongguk really does everything else, eyes warm and affectionate as he listens to Taehyung talk. They follow the script to the word and Taehyung can't help but wonder what Jeongguk's actual favorite film is, what his actual hobbies are.
"Hey," Jeongguk says, and puts his hand over Taehyung's on the table. His hand is warm, too, and the touch almost makes Taehyung drop his fork. Maybe he should, the director seems to like that kind of thing. He could pass it off as nerves. "You okay?"
"Y-Yeah, I'm fine," Taehyung replies, surprised; Jeongguk's gone off script again. To be honest, he never really expected Jeongguk to be the type that was okay with it - Taehyung's filmed with plenty of people who follow it verbatim.
Jeongguk smiles at him and squeezes his hand. "No need to be nervous, 'kay?" he says, and resumes eating, oblivious to the butterflies suddenly animated in Taehyung's stomach again. This is a joke. A joke. How many times has Jimin told Taehyung not to get too caught up his scenes? But that's what makes Taehyung's films good, how much he throws himself into them, and now it's coming back to bite him in the ass.
(At least Jeongguk's gonna get a piece of that first.)
He finishes his fancypants food and makes sure to leave a bit of cream from his dessert at the corner of his lips, feigning more nerves when Jeongguk reaches over to wipe it off with his thumb and licking it off. "So messy," Jeongguk chides gently. Their faces are close.
"I've got you to clean me up, after all," Taehyung says playfully, and draws back only to take Jeongguk's hand with his again, letting Jeongguk intertwine their fingers. They leave the restaurant and do some window-shopping, Taehyung doing his best to ignore the cameramen in front and behind them. It's a cold day, both on script and in real life, so it's not too hard to Taehyung to press close to Jeongguk against the wind gusting by.
Here he's supposed to put his head on Jeongguk's shoulder and suggest they go home, initiate things. Taehyung's not sure why he's actually nervous when he does that, settling his head against Jeongguk's shoulder; Jeongguk's arm automatically comes up to curl around his shoulders, pulling Taehyung closer to him. "I think," he begins, and Jeongguk looks to him, making his heartbeat stutter, "I think we should go home now. Is that okay?"
He tugs lightly at Jeongguk's shirt inside the lovely big coat they gave Jeongguk to wear. Jeongguk looks at him for a long moment, making Taehyung want to fidget, but then he's wrapping his other hand around Taehyung's and looking him in the eye as if he wants to make sure Taehyung means it. "Okay," he acquiesces quietly, and the director calls cut.
They're shuttled quickly to their next location, a tidy, cute house that doesn't look much like the spartanly decorated hotel room they filmed their last scene at. It's supposed to be Jeongguk's house, and, cameras rolling again, he fumbles with the key in the lock without letting go of Taehyung's hand. "Got it," he mutters when he finally unlocks the door, and Taehyung laughs and lets Jeongguk pull him inside. They kiss slow and sweet on the goddamn welcome mat, Jeongguk still holding Taehyung's hands in his, and Taehyung tries to remember what he was told - you have all the time in the world, all you know is each other, you're going to make love for the first time. Fuck, he can't even remember the last time he had sex for the sake of having sex, no cameras and no fuss. This job and school doesn't leave much time for hunting down one night stands, much less relationships.
It's too much. For a second, Taehyung nearly freezes up and ruins the scene, but it's seriously too much. He's only just met the guy for the second time. He shouldn't have let Jo Kwon talk him into this -
Jeongguk's lips slow and then still against his and he doesn't go far when he pulls back, freeing a hand to cup Taehyung's face. "Hey, you with me? Are you nervous? We don't have to do this if you don't want to."
Yes, we do, we have to, Taehyung thinks. but he smiles shyly at Jeongguk, turns his face to kiss his palm. "I'm totally fine," he says, improvising again and angry at himself because he let his real feelings filter into his work and make Jeongguk say something like this. He's got to give the guy props though, this was well executed. "A little nervous, yeah, but I know... I know you've got me."
Something burns in Jeongguk's eyes but when he kisses Taehyung again, he's still gentle, still sweet. "Good," he whispers against Taehyung's lips, a cameraman scooting closer to get the shot, and pulls away to lead Taehyung deeper into the house. Taehyung finds himself almost missing the heat of Jeongguk's body so close to his but they'll be getting hot and heavy soon enough, honestly.
Cut scene, on to setting up the next. The director is thrilled with their tangents from the existing script, encouraging them to take the scenes wherever they want, and they relocate inside the bedroom. It's a slow dance to undressing each other, half-choreographed and half-whatever they're doing off the top of their heads, and Jeongguk keeps dropping these little kisses all over Taehyung's face. Taehyung tries to catch his lips each time, like it's their own private game, and ignores how tight his chest feels.
When Jeongguk settles Taehyung back on the bed, he gets a strange sense of deja vu, like they've been here already like this, and almost laughs at how different it feels. He's hard in his underwear again, as a result from the intensity of Jeongguk's kisses, but it's like a slow, smoldering burn under his skin rather than the wildfire frantic need they ran on last time. And this director is more hands-off, letting them act without interrupting, and Taehyung is once again helpless to the direction Jeongguk is taking them. "Before - " he whispers, the words rising to his lips unbidden, "before we do anything..."
"Yeah, baby?" Jeongguk asks, pulling back so he can look Taehyung in the face properly, a small furrow of concern between his eyebrows.
Taehyung can't help but flush at the endearment. Oh shit, he really is the blushing virgin. "I - I just wanted to let you know, I, um, trust you. For tonight. And always, of course, but."
Jeongguk laughs quietly, leaning in to press a kiss to Taehyung's forehead. "Yeah. Of course."
The script dictates Taehyung let Jeongguk handle things, gripping at Jeongguk's shoulders as Jeongguk jerks him off, kissing Jeongguk back whenever Jeongguk brings their mouths together. He tries to follow it, he really does, but when Jeongguk's pressing careful kisses to his nipples and collarbone, Taehyung tugs him back up to kiss him properly, their hips aligned; they rut against each other, and things kind of progress naturally from there. When Taehyung comes first, it's not planned at all, and he knows that if they had a different, less lenient director, it'd be a fuck up.
Jeongguk glances at the director for a cue, pulling out of the scene as Taehyung trembles through the aftershocks and tries to figure out what just happened, but she seems pleased enough, flashing him a thumbs up and ushering for them to carry on. The footage will be good, at least, Taehyung thinks vaguely to himself - the way he gasped against Jeongguk's mouth, their hips thrusting sloppily. Yeah, stellar acting. He notices Jeongguk pause, staring down at Taehyung like he's trying to figure out what to do next, but then he's pressing in for another kiss and the cameras continue filming and Taehyung just holds on tight and gets swept up in it.
He fingers Taehyung open slowly, slowly, even more carefully than last time and Taehyung, for all its worth, does feel like a virgin all over again. Even his first time didn't feel like this, drowning in how focused Jeongguk is on Taehyung's every whimper and gasp, the way he reacts under his touch. By the time Jeongguk decides he's done with Taehyung's prostate, it feels like Taehyung's spine has melted, leaving him clumsily mouthing at Jeongguk's lips.
"Ready?" Jeongguk asks lowly. He's got the condom in hand, putting it on off screen as Taehyung knows the cameras are zooming in on him, the expression he has looking up at Jeongguk before they do the deed. None of his nervous anticipation is fake, Taehyung knows, which is probably a problem. He's already been fucked by this guy, for god's sake.
"Yes," he whispers, and Jeongguk eases in. It doesn't really, but Taehyung makes it look like it hurts, the stretch a new kind of pain and all that. What surprises him is how quickly Jeongguk stops when he gasps out, how he's willing to wait for Taehyung to (pretend to) adjust. By the time Jeongguk's fully inside him, they're both sweating, panting, less kissing and more breathing each other's air from how close they are. Jimin is going to die from laughter at how vanilla this is, Taehyung thinks to himself hopelessly.
Jeongguk takes a few shallow thrusts, testing, and Taehyung squirms against it. If he's honest, he loves how full penetrative sex makes him feel but it's not Taehyung the viewers are looking for, it's V, 'v' for 'virgin,' and he makes it look good like he always does. Pain melds into pleasure, his hands tight on Jeongguk's arms, their mouths drawn together again and again.
It's pretty embarrassing how long - or rather, short - Taehyung lasts, even though he's already come. With how Jeongguk's angled his thrusts deep and purposeful, firm but not harsh, he can barely hold off long enough for them to get enough good shots and then come together, shuddering apart against each other as Jeongguk comes inside him, in the condom. There's something about the way Jeongguk's hips stutter, his breath coming out erratic against Taehyung's ear that has him shivering, fingers tightening on Jeongguk's shoulders. Orgasms, it seems, make even Jeon Jeongguk honest.
The last scene is the two of them lying together, curled into each other. The perfect afterglow scene after your first time. Taehyung buries his face against Jeongguk's chest and wonders why he doesn't want the cameras to stop rolling.
True to form, Jimin does laugh his ass off. "It's just so cutesy," he wheezes out when Taehyung whines and bats at him to stop.
"You know that kind of thing is out of my control," Taehyung protests. "Jo Kwon just handed me the thing - and I was like 'What!' but - "
"Yeah, yeah, I know," Jimin says, still chortling. He's sprawled on Taehyung's couch in a tank top that barely seems to be hanging onto his shoulders for dear life, which is a probably a view that thousands would pay to see on their own couches, but the glam and the fame have long faded for Taehyung. Once he jerked off to films with Jimin in them, but no more. If that isn't growth, Taehyung doesn't know what is.
He groans and leans back against the couch, letting his head fall back onto the seat next to Jimin's hip. "Jiminie." In all honesty, they got together to study, but Jimin for some reason excels in his classes with minimal time hitting the books, at least around Taehyung. It's painfully winter cold outside but in Taehyung's apartment, with the heating cranked up, they're comfortable enough in mere shirts and all Taehyung wants to do is curl up and nap, not study.
"What's up?" Jimin asks. There's a hand petting through Taehyung's hair, mussing up his bangs, and Taehyung closes his eyes as he leans into Jimin's touch.
"Haven't you done a series like this before?" Taehyung says, rebutting a question with his own, even though he knows the answer to it already. He's even seen it, the collection of films Jimin filmed with Seokjin casting them as long-term, smitten boyfriends. (He saw the follow-up, too, a bukkake with Jimin as the centerpiece, tongue out and eyelashes sticky with come, but that's besides the point. There's no easier way to shake off a connotation of warm and fluffy than a bukkake film.)
Jimin's fingers slow but don't stop. "Yeah," he says thoughtfully. "What about it?"
Taehyung thinks about the open-mouth kisses, the film where they were long-distance lovers reuniting, all scrambling hands and passionate moans. And Jimin and Seokjin are both weathered actors now, who know what inflection to put where to make it look as real as possible. "How do you do it? Like, how do you shake off that feeling that…"
"That it's real?" Jimin finishes for him, taking the words out of his mouth. He props himself up on an elbow, and when Taehyung peeks up through his bangs at him, his best friend's open-book expression is unreadable for once. "You feel that, with Jeongguk, don't you?"
It's less of a statement than a question, and Taehyung averts his eyes. Recalls the gentle, adoring look in Seokjin's eyes when he raised a hand to turn Jimin's face towards his, angling it for the perfect kiss - all caught perfectly on camera. Even Taehyung had been caught up in that, believed it, opened his mouth for the hook, line, and sinker the CEO was always telling them to throw. "Maybe," he admits. Yes.
Jimin sighs, and the air blows across to ruffle Taehyung's bangs, making Taehyung grumble a little as he reaches up to pat them into place in an effort to lighten the suddenly heavy atmosphere. "You just have to keep in mind that it's just a film, I guess. After all, you're always aware of the cameras, the director and staff around you, right? Don't lose sight of that. They're going to keep putting you two together for these types of projects until the viewers get sick of them, but this is work, Taehyung, and Jeongguk's just doing his job."
"Yeah," Taehyung mumbles, grateful when Jimin doesn't say anything about the way he squeezes his eyes shut and buries his face against Jimin's arm.
Seasoned professional Jimin is right about the demand (he wasn't #1 for nothing and Taehyung will never doubt him again), but it isn't until after a whirlwind of papers and midterms does Taehyung have enough time on hand to hit the film sets again. He walks into the venue on Saturday and Jo Kwon practically seizes him by the collar, shoving a few more files into his hands. "Look through these and pick which one you want to do first," he instructs, rapidfire.
"Oh, god," Taehyung says, and barely has enough time to flip through the first before Jo Kwon's sending him off on his way for a reunion with Suga's tongue. Taehyung, and his ass, would never say no, though, and it's a breeze following the simple plot lined out for them and sobbing into the sheets when Yoongi gets to it.
They wrap things up neatly, because Taehyung is nothing but professional, and Yoongi smirks as he says, "Until we meet again" and Taehyung tries to look him in the eyes instead of at his mouth. That's about all that Taehyung feels the urge to look at though, which is a nice reprieve.
To make up for his break with school, he's back again the next day, yawning from the early morning start. It's one of those delightful bathroom scenes, but when Taehyung sees that frame and silhouette in his co-star's chair again, he feels his heart drop to somewhere around his ankles. Shit, it's Jeongguk, and he's already shirtless.
"You should warn a guy," he groans to Jo Kwon as he's ushered onto the set, and Jo Kwon rolls his eyes and tells him to read his proposals more often ("And pay attention to who you're filming with!") before the director's calling their attention. When Taehyung slumps into his own chair, Jeongguk doesn't even spare a sideways glance at him.
It's pretty standard, and still following the whole lovey-dovey theme. They'll be in tiny little Speedos for the bathtub scene and sit together - with, God forbid, Taehyung sitting between Jeongguk's legs - talking playfully and flirting, making out, the works. After they jerk each other off a little, they switch to the shower where the good stuff happens. Seeing as Taehyung can see the staff filling up the bathtub already, masses of bubbles rising to the surface, they're just going to jump right into it.
"And hurry up and take your clothes off, Taehyung," the director says briskly, and Taehyung scrambles to follow directions, shedding the hoodie and pants he'd pulled on upon waking up. For a moment, he thinks he feels someone's gaze on his back, his legs, but when he looks up, there's only Jeongguk flipping through his script with a detached air. He's probably already memorized it all.
"This is going to cover nothing," Taehyung laments as he's handed a scrap of swimsuit material and is told to put it on. Girls probably wear thongs bigger than this thing. On the bright side, Jeongguk's wearing one too, black to Taehyung's white, and Taehyung doesn't hold back on admiring the muscles of Jeongguk's thighs. They look rock hard, and feel it too, as Taehyung knows from experience. A couple weeks have gone by, yet Taehyung takes one look at the guy and it's all coming back too vividly.
Call him a kid, but he's excited when they get into the bathtub. Simple pleasures, right? As per the script, they start out across from each other, washing each other with the soapy water. Taehyung laughs, ticklish, when Jeongguk scoops some of the bubbles and piles them on Taehyung's shoulders and on his back, that smile on his face again. Like he's looking at something precious.
"Hi," Taehyung says, a little silly. Jeongguk curls an arm around him and leans in close, trapping Taehyung's hands between their chests as Jeongguk kisses him. They mouth at each other for a little bit, separating with a quiet smack before resuming lathering each other up.
"Hello," Jeongguk says, and Taehyung laughs again, into Jeongguk's mouth. The sound dissolves into a quiet moan when Jeongguk nips Taehyung's bottom lip and soothes it with his tongue, licking into Taehyung's mouth.
Unconsciously, Taehyung's leaned in to close the gap between them as they kiss and Jeongguk tugs him forward all the way, intertwining their fingers at the water's surface. It's a few quiet moments - as quiet as it can get on set, anyways - with just the splashing of the water whenever they move and the wet, muted sounds of their kissing.
They separate eventually, taking a moment with their foreheads resting against each other, Taehyung's heartbeat stuttering like a traitor at how close Jeongguk is, as if Jeongguk's not going to get closer. "C'mere," Jeongguk whispers, and curls his hands around Taehyung's arms loosely, almost proprietarily. Taehyung scoots through the warm water so his back is right up against Jeongguk's solid chest, Jeongguk's crotch resting softly against the back of Taehyung's ass at his tailbone, and Taehyung can't help but shiver a little. They're only separated by two incredibly thin layers of cloth that do nothing to hide the erection Jeongguk's getting.
Taehyung settles back, gets comfortable in the dip of Jeongguk's body as Jeongguk's curled around him in what Taehyung can only call an embrace. What Jimin said suddenly gets way harder to keep at the front of Taehyung's mind when Jeongguk leans in to kiss at his earlobe and neck. "Feel good?" he asks.
Taehyung sighs, purposefully a little loud, and turns his face towards Jeongguk's neck. He recalls his line. "Mmm, yes. Now that you're here with me."
The premise they're playing off of is that Taehyung's had a rough day, and Jeongguk's here to make it all better, indulging him and making him feel good. He showers Taehyung's face with those little pecks of kisses again, making Taehyung laugh reluctantly and push him away with a gentle hand. When their lips meet again, Jeongguk's touch makes its way up Taehyung's side to play with his nipple, Taehyung whimpering into Jeongguk's mouth at the pleasure.
Jeongguk makes a questioning sound against Taehyung's lips, like he's checking in with Taehyung and it's all Taehyung can do to nod and ask for more, curling his hand around Jeongguk's other wrist. He feels more sensitive than usual, body tuned to Jeongguk's touches. They pause for a moment so they can rearrange their limbs, Taehyung's legs in Jeongguk's lap so he's subtly lifted above the water level and his cock is in full view when Jeongguk moves to tug Taehyung's swimsuit down enough to jerk him off languidly.
"Ah - " Taehyung gasps, head falling back against Jeongguk's shoulder again as Jeongguk twists his wrist just right. He moans at the perfect pressure of Jeongguk's hand around his cock, the way Jeongguk's other hand hasn't stilled but rather is rubbing and tweaking at Taehyung's nipple. By the time Jeongguk brings their mouths together again, his breath is coming in unsteady bursts, punctuating each whimper.
The water splashes as Jeongguk lifts his head long enough to bring the arm Taehyung has wedged between them back behind his shoulders, to lower his mouth to Taehyung's other nipple. He kisses it, tongues it until it stiffens at his ministrations, and smirks up at Taehyung when Taehyung lets out another choked noise. "Good?" he asks again, hand stilling.
"Yes," Taehyung says, craving his touches already. His cock is so hard it would be embarrassing if he didn't want this so badly. "More, please - please - "
Jeongguk resumes both his hand on Taehyung's cock and his mouth, but his other hand slides down to intertwine with Taehyung's again, holding it there against Taehyung's side. Somehow the warmth around his hand is the most embarrassing of all, and Taehyung's relieved when Jeongguk withdraws his only to shift Taehyung higher on his legs and take Taehyung's cock into his mouth instead.
Vaguely, he realizes his cries are echoing in the bathroom around them as Jeongguk bobs up and down on his cock, but it's hard to care when you're being sucked off. He can feel himself hardening all the way in Jeongguk's mouth, Jeongguk eyeing him sideways with an almost predatory look in his eyes. Taehyung presses his face against Jeongguk's neck again and gasps when Jeongguk finally releases him, but groans in disappointment as Jeongguk pulls his skimpy swimsuit back up and into place.
He quickly changes his mind when Jeongguk gently lifts him off his lap and lets Taehyung shift forward, turning around as Jeongguk sits up on the rim of the bathtub and yanking his own swimsuit down to his thighs. Taehyung crawls forward with a little more enthusiasm than he'd like, but they have to stop for the cameras to move so they won't be blocked by Jeongguk's arm.
One talent out of many, but Taehyung's always been damn good at sucking cock. Ever since the first film he was in. With these lips and an apparent lack of a gag reflex, he knows he can give it to them good. Jeongguk's been knocking him off his game a little, he'll admit, but he takes Jeongguk into his mouth, curling his fingers around the length he can't reach yet, and basks in the soft moans he knocks from Jeongguk's throat.
"Stop, stop, Taehyung," the director calls, and Jeongguk practically groans in protest, hunching his shoulders. The cameras halt, and Taehyung draws back, confused.
"W-What?" he asks, mind fuzzy at being pulled out of the scene, and hurriedly puts some distance between him and Jeongguk.
"We can use this footage from just now, but you forgot to kiss him before going in with the oral," the director chastises. "Don't forget the set-up. You're boyfriends. Slow down and make it sweet."
Taehyung nods earnestly, mentally beating himself up - forgetting the set-up of the plot and each step of the script is a fucking rookie mistake. For all of Jeongguk's professionalism before, though, he doesn't have anything scathing to say when Taehyung shuffles back into place, the bathwater gone cold by now.
They start over with Jeongguk hoisting himself onto the edge of the bathtub, and Taehyung moves in. He puts his hands on Jeongguk's thighs lightly and tips his chin up, seeking, smiling into it when Jeongguk leans down to kiss him lingeringly. Then it's back to the blowjob, Taehyung making sure he pauses to catch his breath and leave playful kisses on Jeongguk's inner thighs before taking Jeongguk deeper. Not anything fancy, and it's not long before Jeongguk is pushing at Taehyung's shoulders to stop him. Taehyung takes it upon himself to pull Jeongguk's swimsuit back on, like a present to unwrap later.
Once all the bathtub scenes are cleared, they get out of the tub, wiping off some of the leftover bubbles on their back and arms as the water gets drained. The spacious shower is right next door, clear walls and fitted with shampoo and conditioner as if it's their own shower, the one they share in their home together. There's even a small ledge that'll do fine as a seat (and will be used as one, as Taehyung knows).
Jeongguk adjusts himself in his swimsuit as they get into the shower, filming back on, and Taehyung pulls his eyes away, swallowing hard. He fidgets off to the side as Jeongguk turns on the water, adjusting its warmth before turning to Taehyung and taking his hand.
"Time to get you clean," Jeongguk says, and the look in his eyes and the smirk playing at his lips say Time to get you dirty instead. No wonder the viewers eat him up whenever Jeongguk's in a film. Jeongguk reels Taehyung in, and their attempt to rinse each other off properly deteriorates into desperate frotting, shedding their swimsuits with clumsy fingers. By the time Taehyung gets back down on his knees to take Jeongguk's cock down his throat, Jeongguk rocking gently into his open mouth, Taehyung's harder than ever.
Taehyung pulls off of Jeongguk's cock with a gasp, blinking water out of his eyes. "Please," he whimpers, mouthing along the length of it. "Please, please."
"You are so - " Jeongguk groans, and practically lifts Taehyung up, bending him over and shutting the water off roughly, reaching for the lube innocently hidden among the shampoo bottles. He barely waits after one finger to add another, stretching Taehyung with that same intensity as always, and covers Taehyung's body with his own when he leans up to be kissed. Taehyung turns his head to the side as far as he can to meet him, gasping into Jeongguk's mouth when Jeongguk deliberately rubs his fingertips up against Taehyung's prostate. "Prop yourself up on the wall," he murmurs, and Taehyung stretches his arms out without fuss, trying to hold himself up.
When Jeongguk finally slides home, Taehyung's entire body reacts, a breathless moan tripping its way out his throat as his arms weaken and send him slipping a little against the clear glass of the shower wall. "Steady," Jeongguk whispers up against his ear, tonguing his earlobe, and makes that impossible as he fucks into Taehyung with quick, sharp thrusts. Taehyung's used to being the vocal one in scenes but this is nothing short of obscene, the way he mewls and whimpers and cries on Jeongguk's cock; at one point, Jeongguk's pistoning his hips so forcefully he's got Taehyung shoved up against the wall, Taehyung keening at the cold counterpoint of the glass against his cock to the heat of Jeongguk behind him.
They use the ledge as told, Jeongguk sitting back and finding the leverage to fuck up into Taehyung who can barely hold himself in place on Jeongguk's cock, and then again standing, Taehyung's leg hitched up around Jeongguk's waist as they do it facing each other this time. He can tell Jeongguk's getting close, the way he's making those sounds - halfway between a moan and an exhalation, like he's stopped caring about holding them back - into Taehyung's open mouth. It riles Taehyung up even more, and he scrambles at Jeongguk's back and doesn't have the coherency to care about the red scratches he must be leaving.
He comes all over his stomach, sobbing against Jeongguk's neck, and Jeongguk doesn't last much longer after that. It's all over in a rush, Jeongguk pulling out of him and jerking himself off onto Taehyung's skin, Taehyung gripping weakly at his arm to ground himself.
They're both spent. Their heavy breaths echo in the shower stall around them, between them, and Jeongguk slowly turns the water back on to rinse them both clean. He starts to shampoo Taehyung's hair, lathering the bubbles up, and Taehyung tips his head back for a slow, sweet kiss, just as requested.
He's so fucked, in more ways than one.
When Taehyung wakes up the next day, still vividly feeling the scene with Jeongguk in his sore hips and thighs, he has a text from Jimin.
um check the leaderboards... is all it says.
Jeongguk's taken Jimin's crown as #1 Most Played Videos. "Holy fuck," Taehyung says out loud, navigating the website to see their bathroom film scenes have been edited and uploaded, hitting an unprecedented view count for its first day. "Fuck!"
Even the gushy, complimentary comments don't make Taehyung feel any better - what, he's a guy who likes getting complimented on how well he can have sex, and there's no use denying it - and, on top of that, he's late to class. He grumbles and shoves his feet into a pair of sweats, gone commando because he forgot to do laundry after work this weekend, and picks out a relatively clean shirt to wear before he's out the door. Fuck Jeon Jeongguk. Fuck this guy who can sweep into BTS Entertainment and steal a title Taehyung's been gunning for months longer than Jeongguk's even acted. Taehyung's already done that technically, but still, fuck him.
He fidgets through his two lectures, despite the girl sitting next to him in the second who shoots a glare at him for clicking his pen excessively. While taking notes on his laptop, so he doesn't even need this pen out, but if Taehyung doesn't do anything with his hands, this restless energy is going to drive him crazy; he's even a little sorry he doesn't have any work today, because a good fuck would probably put this out of his head.
Navigating the flow of students rushing in and out of the lecture hall, Taehyung wonders whether he's at that point in his career when he can be making demands. Like yeah, definitely want to get nailed by that guy, so let's make it happen! Jo Kwon would probably take his head off, though, so maybe - "Oof!"
Taehyung's ass hits the ground, making him wince harder than he usually would've if he simply ran into a brick wall or some guy's chest.
"Crap, sorry, I didn't - oh, God," said guy with the brick wall chest says, holding his hand out to pull Taehyung back up to his feet, and Taehyung tilts his head back and squints against the sun at, oh, God indeed, Jeon Jeongguk. The new Mr. #1. At his university.
For a second, Taehyung almost doesn't want to take Jeongguk's hand and let him help him up, because seriously, that hand has been places far more adventurous. But then again, they've done the dirty, so he can put his hand in Jeongguk's and let him help him back up like a gentleman. Jeongguk's hand lingers around his only for a moment before he's withdrawing it and sliding it into his pocket.
It pisses Taehyung off a little further, but Jeongguk looks good, looking casual yet put together. Next to Jeongguk's fitted grey sweater over a black gingham button down, and skintight jeans, he feels extra lazy in his sweats. This is not the sex champion look he had in mind when he next encountered Jeongguk, and it sends Taehyung off-kilter, fumbling for words and feeling grumpier than ever. Finally, he settles on a muttered, "Thanks."
Jeongguk stares at him, as if also in disbelief because seriously, out of all the universities. Out of all the students that go to this huge school. "No - no, I'm sorry for bumping into you…"
"Taehyung," he says hastily, sensing that Jeongguk's seeking a name to fill the space but his BTS Entertainment alias seriously has no business around their university campus, that's for sure. Some actors are weirder about their real names than others, which makes sense given the nature of their work especially when most see it as a temporary job.
"Taehyung," Jeongguk repeats, and his name in Jeongguk's mouth gives him shivers down his spine, for some reason, like a taste of that intensity Jeongguk treated him with for hours only yesterday. "Sorry."
"Don't worry about it," Taehyung says and sets about wondering how to best retract himself from this situation. There are points in Taehyung's life where he wishes particularly badly that he has superpowers, and this is one of them, so he can rewind this day to this morning, where he woke up earlier than his alarm, showered, put on one of his snuggliest turtleneck sweaters and that pair of pants his legs look awesome in, and saunter through campus without bumping into anyone. Least of all Jeongguk.
Jeongguk shifts, hefting the laptop and textbooks under his arm, and Taehyung realizes he's not really going anywhere just as Jeongguk finally says, "Well, uh, where are you headed now?"
Home was the original plan, so Taehyung could crawl back into bed and sleep until his afternoon lab, but he finds himself shifting awkwardly and saying, "I was thinking of grabbing some lunch now, actually."
"Me, too," Jeongguk says slowly. His gaze on Taehyung is heavy, just as lingering as his touch, and he's got his head cocked to the side as if Taehyung is a puzzle he wants to figure out.
Somehow Taehyung finds himself in one of the cafes on campus eating lunch, knees barely brushing with Jeongguk's under the table as they eat their way through their food and make attempts at conversation. It's actually not that bad, once Taehyung gets over his confusion at the universe at putting him here. He really likes this place, Jeongguk is paying as an apology for mowing him down into the ground, and there's something refreshingly normal about this atmosphere. Taehyung's plenty happy in a conversation that lets him chatter on about whatever comes to mind, and Jeongguk doesn't seem to mind listening to Taehyung talk about his schedule for this semester and how amazing this sandwich tastes in his mouth.
"All right," Taehyung says, taking a breath to eat a potato chip. "I have a conspiracy theory."
"Hmm?" Jeongguk says and gestures for Taehyung to continue. He's got the sleeves of his sweater and button down rolled up halfway to eat, and the veins standing out in his forearms would be extremely distracting if Taehyung was a lesser man.
He's not one, for the record, so he forges on. "Suspend your disbelief and just listen, okay? What you learned in your geology classes is wrong. Like, forget lava and plate tectonics and stuff. The Earth is actually hollow, and there's a hidden civilization that you can only access from the North and South Poles. Like entrances to their world!"
Jeongguk laughs out loud, a genuine one that brings out the crinkles at the corners of his eyes, and Taehyung flushes a little when he notices and quickly eats another chip. "A hidden civilization? Living underneath us all this time?"
"Yeah!" Taehyung says. "So whenever we see aliens or whatever above the surface, they're actually just beings of that hidden civilization. Maybe they got lost on the way home, I don't know."
"I was never too amazing at earth science, but I don't know, this doesn't sound too feasible," Jeongguk says, amused. "What would you say about Pangaea and archaeology, then?"
"I mean, it's a conspiracy theory," Taehyung sniffs and polishes Jeongguk's chips off, too. Jeongguk doesn't protest, even nudging his plate a little closer to Taehyung's side of the table. "I don't expect to have all the answers right now. Besides, even if it's not true, it's cool to think about."
Jeongguk raises an eyebrow at him, but the amused curl to his lips gives him away. It's not an expression Taehyung's used to seeing on his face, not that he's really had many opportunities to see things like this - like the way Jeongguk screws up his nose when he's trying not to laugh at Taehyung's yelp when his sandwich pickle falls into his lap (hella smooth, Taehyung) - given their past experiences, but he wouldn't be opposed to seeing more. Plus it shouldn't surprise him Jeongguk's just as hot off the set as he is on it, but it kind of does, seeing Jeongguk so relaxed and casual about everything.
He finishes his lemonade and watches Jeongguk playing with the bottle cap of his water until he realizes with a start that he's staring. "So, um. This was nice."
"Nice," Jeongguk echos, fingers stilling. "Yeah, it was. Thanks for letting me make it up to you, I'm sorry again for knocking you over."
"No, it's totally fine, uh," Taehyung says, then decides to just go for it. He didn't get this far in life without seizing the bull by the horns at every chance and all that. "I wouldn't mind if it happened again."
Jeongguk's silent, and for a moment, Taehyung panics in his mind, he read the atmosphere wrong and Jeongguk was definitely just humoring him for an apology lunch and of course he wouldn't want to see Taehyung again like that, holy crap, they work together sometimes, Jeongguk's Mr. #1 - "Yeah," Jeongguk says. "I'd like that."
"You - You would?" Taehyung says, shocked, but he's handing his phone over to Jeongguk's outstretched hand and watching incredulously as Jeongguk puts in his number, sends himself a text so he'll have Taehyung's.
"Yeah," Jeongguk says again. That smile is playing around the edges of his lips again, and knowing first-hand how kissable they are only makes Taehyung want to kiss him, right here, in the middle of this cafe. He'd been kind of battling that urge the entire time they were eating together, if Taehyung's honest with himself, but the promise of a next time makes the desire even more intoxicating.
They're headed out the same way when they leave the cafe, so they end up walking together a bit of the ways towards their destinations. Still wrapping his mind around the whole thing, Taehyung's run out of words to say, but Jeongguk seems pretty content with walking in silence. Side by side, apart enough that their shoulders just barely don't brush. Taehyung's used to barging into other people's personal space and crowding close, but for some reason, this proximity makes him feel shy. It's not something he's used to feeling.
"Here's me," Jeongguk says, nodding at the student parking lot. Now that Taehyung thinks of it, he had car keys in his hand when they were leaving the cafe, so he must live pretty far from campus. Taehyung's always lived within walking distance.
"Okay," Taehyung says. "I'm not too far from home, so. Yeah. Nice to see you. I kind of can't believe we didn't know we went to the same school until now."
Jeongguk looks at him thoughtfully, and tucks his hands back into his pockets. "Same here. I'll see you around, Taehyung."
Not one to let a good view pass him by, Taehyung stands there and watches him go for a few moments, admiring his ass and thighs in those pants. They look good as sin. As if he can feel the gaze fixed on him, though, Jeongguk turns his head and smirks at Taehyung before disappearing among the rows of cars.
Fuck Jeon Jeongguk, Taehyung thinks again, cheeks hot with embarrassment at being caught ogling, but somehow, the words don't hold the same feeling they did this morning.
Over the course of his college years, Taehyung's told plenty of people he'll see them around, or keep in touch, and part of him fully expects Jeongguk to disappear into the group of those people who hasn't contacted him ever since. That same part of him is hesitant to reach out to Jeongguk first, even though he even has the guy's number.
("Jimin, the guy texted himself a period so he'd have my number on his phone. Don't people usually put something else? Like, hey, this is so and so's phone number. He just put a dot!"
"I don't know why you're making such a big deal out of this, Taehyungie. It's just Jeongguk.")
But it wasn't just Jeongguk, and Taehyung couldn't quite figure out why to impress the importance of it all on Jimin just yet. Still, whatever it was has Taehyung scrambling at his phone at the sound of a text notification, dropping it in surprise when Jeongguk's name flashes across the screen.
it's getting pretty cold. want to go grab coffee or something? maybe later this week?
YES!!!!!!!!, Taehyung texts back after deleting half of the exclamation marks - no need to seem too excited - and it gets easier after that, to text Jeongguk little things he notices through the day like how that guy always falling asleep in the third row of his discussion got a haircut or how he only seems to remember about the outdoor alcove he wants to study at when it rains, and he can't study there anymore.
maybe the world is telling you you shouldn't study there, Jeongguk suggests.
Taehyung frowns pensively and types out,
or maybe this is a challenge!! like, if i can remember in time, then i'm worthy of studying there!
or we could just go study there next time the sun comes out and it's dry enough, Jeongguk replies.
i'll remind you.
There it is again, making Taehyung flush up to his ears. This particular conversation takes place the day before they agreed to get coffee, and Taehyung wishes to himself that it doesn't rain again any time soon, because the coffee shop - on the other side of campus from his apartment, no less - has a really nice outdoor patio. And Taehyung wouldn't really mind sitting there with Jeongguk, and the rain would put a damper on everything.
He's standing in front of his closet, amid small piles of clothes on his bed and the chair at his desk, when he gets a text from Jimin.
have fun on your coffee date ^^
it's not a DATE, Taehyung shoots back; Jimin had called his and Jeongguk's lunch together a date as well, seeing as how Jeongguk had paid for them and possibly flirted with him and all, but Taehyung isn't even about to go there. At least not with Jimin.
whatever you say taetae, Jimin texts just as Taehyung finds the red scarf he was looking for, all the way at the back of his wardrobe. He cheers and allows himself a victorious dance around his room, raising it overhead until he catches sight of the time. Crap, he's going to be late. Taehyung's entire college life (and, truth be told, a good portion of his gym regime) revolves around running late.
He obligingly texts Jimin a
what are you up to? message as he rushes out the door and longingly thinks of a world where he can get a ride to wherever he needs to go. Taehyung had a skateboard phase during his second semester of freshman year, but he kept eating pavement and picked up a job where he, uh, needed to avoid scrapes and blemishes. So now he just relies on his own two feet.
just wrapping up this paper with my tutor before i head out. i've got back to back shoots tonight... Jimin sends after a moment.
The wind is pretty bad today, and even if Taehyung is late, he's relieved he's got his warmest scarf on though if it's bright firetruck red and catches the eye of everyone he walks past. Which could be worse, he reasons. Kim Taehyung is no stranger to eyes on him, whether it's because he's being particularly silly in public or he's having sex for the viewing pleasure of the masses. Back to back shoots, though; he winces on behalf of Jimin's body and sends a bizarre cluster of emoticons Jimin will know to decipher as sympathetic. He's got Taehyung's emoticon language figured out by now.
Neither he nor Jeongguk talk about work to each other. With Jimin, it's so simple - it's how they met and it's a thing they've done together, and Taehyung can complain about finding come up his asshole the next day to Jimin and know his best friend will empathize with his struggle entirely. They've been like that, easy and fun, since day one. But Taehyung can't fathom cheerfully discussing his sexscapades with Jeongguk, and he's still not sure why.
All he knows is Jeongguk is reserved for this, bundled in a thick overcoat with the collar turned up to protect his neck and the lower half of his face from the cold, beanie pulled over his hair, as he waits outside to meet Taehyung. Reserved for the smile in his eyes when he catches sight of Taehyung coming up the street. Taehyung's never thought of Jimin this way and is confident he never will, not when the butterflies in his stomach stubbornly only beat for Jeongguk.
"You should've waited inside," Taehyung says once Jeongguk's close enough; he can see Jeongguk's nose is tipped red from the chill, and he keeps sniffling. "Or at least in your car."
"I know, but I couldn't help myself," Jeongguk says ruefully. "I walked today, too, though. Since I live closer to this end of campus."
Taehyung files that tidbit of information away and follows Jeongguk inside, the two of them peering up at the menus artfully arranged on the cabinets over the food display. There's no rain but it's too cold to be comfortable on the patio, so they find a little dip of a corner with two chairs at a round, spindly table and settle in. By the time the barista calls their names to serve their drinks, Taehyung's already recounted his latest mess of a group project to Jeongguk.
"I got it," Jeongguk tells him, and gets up out of his seat to retrieve their drinks. Taehyung peeks at his phone to find Jimin's just sent him back a couple of emoticons, mostly of solemn and sad faces. Work's work.
It's hard for Taehyung to reconcile the emerging two sides of his life sometime. Like with Jimin off to record for two films tonight, for his job as a porn star, Taehyung gets to sit here with Jeongguk in this lovely, warm atmosphere wrapped around them like a blanket and listen as Jeongguk tells him about his friend's housemate troubles. This isn't anything like that dinner date he and Jeongguk went through the motions of either - and even though Jeongguk doesn't move to hold his hand on the table, the heat of him so close by is enough. More than enough. How could it not be enough with Jeongguk here, before him, one foot curled gently around Taehyung's ankle?
The coffee is gone sooner than Taehyung expects, the perfect warm balm to such a cold day, and Taehyung's got his own essay shouting his name. Goodbyes are a lot less awkward this time around, as they linger in front of the coffee shop. By now, dusk is falling, and the light of the setting sun softens the features of Jeongguk's face the way the chilled sunlight never could.
"Lunch again sometime?" Jeongguk asks, curling a hand loosely around Taehyung's wrist. He's wearing fingerless gloves, pulled back on once they stepped outside, yet his touch is still electric on Taehyung's skin.
Taehyung tries not to let it show how long he's been hoping Jeongguk will reach out and touch him again. "It - It's a date," he says, and fumbles immediately. Jimin's words must've gotten to his head, shit. He tries to backtrack, make something else up to say instead -
"Sure," Jeongguk says simply, fingers tightening in a light squeeze before he lets his hand fall away again. Taehyung peeks up at his expression, relieved to see a smile. "Let's do that. I'll text you, Taehyung."
"Okay," Taehyung says, without bothering to keep the blatant happiness out of his voice this time. Right now, he wants to shout it out to the world.
Taehyung turns in his essay and, as he's learned after all these months, knows to associate a surge in work demand after he wraps up his academic obligations.
He's brought in to fuck one of the newest boys, a boy named Kang Inho who was shuttled over to BTS Entertainment from another company - he's new only to BTS's turf, nowhere new to the industry. Inho is objectively pretty damn hot, all tooth and lean muscle, yet Taehyung finds his mind drifting a little; thankfully, he's been at this enough to do it on autopilot. His body knows what to do when he pulls out with a jerk and comes all over Inho's sharp facial features.
It's not to say Taehyung can't take the dominant role. He can, and he does sometimes, and he's not bad at it. The viewers still take it greedily and beg for more every time. But there's a part of Taehyung that Seokjin spotted early on and he's only confirmed since, how he lives that give and take where he can take what he's given and return it back tenfold in breathless whimpers of pleasure. After a few projects like the one with Inho, Taehyung receives a proposal from Jo Kwon that jumps out at him immediately with the words 'blindfold,' 'tied up,' and 'sex toys.'
"Who's this with?" he asks his manager, tapping a finger at the line that usually tells him so.
"They want you to be authentic," Jo Kwon says to him without even looking at the file. There are silvery studs on the shoulders of his leather jacket today that could probably take out someone's eye. "So you'll find out when he takes off your blindfold. Just one guy you've filmed with before though, no worries."
Taehyung peruses the film proposal again, but it doesn't offer any more details. He hasn't done anything with bondage since Jimin whipped out those handcuffs on him a while back, so he's kind of looking forward to it. This way, he has minimal lines, too. Just some good ol' dirty sex.
He isn't given much time as they shuffle him through preparations, dressing down to put on a pair of briefs significantly smaller than the boxers he came to work wearing and a loose jacket. And, for some reason, socks, but Taehyung doesn't question these things. Once he's put on the blindfold and stretched out the kinks in his shoulders and arms, he raises them above his head and allows them to be tied into place with what feels like a soft length of cloth. No handcuffs this time around, he assumes. How gentle.
With his sight cut off, Taehyung feels sensitive all over, relying much more heavily on sound and, at the first point of contact, touch. The cameras must be filming already. He feels someone else's presence nearby, but it still takes him by surprise when he's kissed.
He knows this mouth though. He knows the warm pressure of these lips, and the way they move with this tongue, and moans softly against them, welcoming them. In truth, it has been too long.
Jeongguk draws away, adjusting his position; it kind of seems like he's sitting back on his heels, given the shift of the mattress beneath them. He skims his fingertips down the length of Taehyung's bare thighs and Taehyung shivers, overly conscious about everything. Even the rhythm of Jeongguk's breathing, each intake and exhale of breath, is worth Taehyung's attention. He's not used to focusing on so many things at once, and it takes him by surprise again when Jeongguk leans back in for another searching kiss. Taehyung didn't realize he'd missed Jeongguk's touch like this until he had it again, satiating, and now that their bodies are meeting again, it feels so good Taehyung wonders whether he'll sink without surfacing.
It's harder to tell time, too, and it feels like Jeongguk kisses him for a very long time. Taehyung itches to touch, wrists straining against their ties unconsciously until Jeongguk pulls back and rubs gently at the reddening skin. "Shh," he says soothingly, even though Taehyung has yet to speak. He pecks Taehyung on the lips once more before trailing his mouth down Taehyung's chest, licking at Taehyung's nipple; Taehyung can feel Jeongguk's smile against his skin, pleased at how hypersensitive he is at Jeongguk's every touch.
When Jeongguk presses yet another light kiss to Taehyung's body, this time to the inside of his thigh, the proximity to Taehyung's crotch make him whimper. Until he lost his sight, Taehyung didn't realize how heavily he relied on his sight to anticipate what the other would do next. He doesn't see it coming either when Jeongguk reaches up, touches two fingers to Taehyung's bottom lip, but Taehyung just lets his mouth fall open to accept their weight on his tongue and sucks wetly.
"Gorgeous," Jeongguk breathes, catching the quiet word against Taehyung's body it's like it's only for him, too muted to be caught on mic or camera. He flushes and doubles his efforts on Jeongguk's fingers in his mouth, taking a third easily and making sure they're dripping wet.
When Jeongguk pulls his hand away, Taehyung gasps at the nothingness, at Jeongguk peeling off his briefs to jerk him off with a saliva-slick hand. He kisses down Taehyung's neck, Taehyung automatically exposing his throat for more access. Of course Jeongguk knows how worrying at the spot behind Taehyung's ear with his teeth will make him moan, or how licking along the line of his collarbone makes him shiver. Pulling each reaction from his body like he's plucking at a finely tuned instrument and there's the sound he's seeking.
Jeongguk draws back, pausing as the cameras shuffle their positions as quietly as possible, so Taehyung's headspace isn't thrown off. Not that he's in much danger of that, Taehyung thinks as Jeongguk kneels between his legs, hitching them up against Jeongguk's thighs. His skin is so warm, Taehyung thinks dizzily. He's kissed again and kisses back earnestly, their lips separating only slightly before Jeongguk presses in again, then returns to suck and kiss at his neck, careful not to leave any long-lasting marks. His hands don't stop either, smoothing up and down Taehyung's sides, reaching around to the small of his back and down over his ass, along the backs of his thighs.
He teases across Taehyung's nipples with his tongue, making Taehyung whimper and flinch at the touch, but it doesn't last long before Jeongguk pulls back again. There's a buzz of a vibrator, and Taehyung tenses instinctively, shaking apart when the vibration meets his body where Jeongguk last placed his mouth. Jeongguk is careful as he skims it down Taehyung's body and over Taehyung's cock, obviously hard in his briefs, leaking a little against the light-colored cloth. "Ah," Taehyung gasps, tugging against his restraints. He can barely focus on kissing Jeongguk back properly, feeling like he'll be slowly driven crazy by such teasing. When Jeongguk sets aside the vibrator, it's a relief, blissful silence only broken by Jeongguk's even breaths and more kisses.
Taehyung lets Jeongguk draw his underwear over and off his legs, splaying them apart again over Jeongguk's thighs. He's jerked off slowly, each stroke of Jeongguk's hand deliberately teasing, and he moans into the otherwise quiet room until Jeongguk slips his fingers back into his mouth.
"Good?" Jeongguk asks, voice low and rough around the edges. Taehyung can't see whether he's turned on through the usual signs - his erection, or the intensity in his eyes - but there are other ways besides those.
He whimpers around Jeongguk's fingers in agreement, and swallows hard when Jeongguk withdraws them again to, from the sounds of it, prop himself up properly as he moves down the length of Taehyung's body. There's the heat of his mouth up against the head of Taehyung's cock, Taehyung moaning impatiently and wriggling his hips, and then Jeongguk pins him down to take Taehyung's cock down his throat.
Taehyung keens, desperately wishing he could see it, the way Jeongguk's pretty lips stretch around Taehyung's girth to take him deeper. "Don't hurt yourself," Jeongguk says, pulling off to do it and tonguing at the slit, so Taehyung makes an effort to stop yanking at his ties but it's hard, with the way Jeongguk slides his mouth over Taehyung's cock and licks at the base, down to his balls, not sparing any inch of his skin. Then he's back at it, sucking him off, and Taehyung's never been more aware of how wet and obscene blowjobs sound, especially paired with his increasingly desperate moans and Jeongguk's breaths, now unsteady.
He's a little relieved when Jeongguk finally stops again, staving off the orgasm Taehyung can already feel building in the pit of his stomach. Instead, he senses Jeongguk getting up and moving to Taehyung's side, the sound of fabric being moved aside making his mouth practically water. "Yes," he whines, opening up for Jeongguk's cock, and feels Jeongguk touch his wrists again to remind him not to tug.
Jeongguk slides in hot and heavy on his tongue, and even the taste seems amplified, so good, the salt of his pre-come and the skin underneath. Taehyung does his best to suck as Jeongguk fucks shallowly into his mouth, fingers curling around Taehyung's cock again. When he has to take a break, panting against Jeongguk's cock and tonguing at the head, Jeongguk waits patiently for Taehyung to suck him back down before thrusting in even deeper. It isn't long before Jeongguk's making those sounds again, the breathy half-moans; both of them are more riled up than usual, and Taehyung refuses to let himself think about why. All he knows how is Jeongguk's hands cupping his face carefully as he slides his cock in deep, fitting himself into Taehyung's mouth and down his throat.
They must be told to move on, because Jeongguk pulls away from his mouth entirely and Taehyung hears the sound of the lube being opened. Still, he's squirming a little against Jeongguk's hands at the slick, cold liquid dripping down, legs trembling as he tries to hold them up unassisted and give Jeongguk full access.
"Relax," Jeongguk instructs from somewhere above him, and Taehyung tries to remember how, he's done this so many times before. He tries to reach down to grip his own cock but belatedly realizes he can't, moaning helplessly as Jeongguk presses the first finger inside.
"More," Taehyung says, begging, but Jeongguk barely stretches him with two fingers before he's withdrawing them altogether and Taehyung hears more shifting, the click of the lube being opened again. This time, it's the impersonal shape of a dildo replacing Jeongguk's fingers, and Taehyung groans his disapproval, twitching against it as Jeongguk slides it in deeper. But he takes it all, he'll take anything Jeongguk has to give him, and is rewarded by Jeongguk's mouth sliding down over his cock again.
Jeongguk returns to his nipples, mouthing at Taehyung's skin, and Taehyung clenches around the dildo, unsatisfied, and whimpers, "More, more, I want - "
"What do you want?" Jeongguk asks, and this time his voice comes from much closer, Taehyung straining forward to kiss him. Jeongguk backs up a second before pressing back in, closer, kissing him properly.
"Your cock," Taehyung finally sobs out, fingers scrambling uselessly at his ties but he can't just lie there, restrained without doing something about it. He feels a little light-headed, and can't really get all the sensation from his fingertips, but Jeongguk doesn't admonish him to be careful anymore. Instead, he just kisses Taehyung again, wet and sloppy, and blessedly replaces the dildo with his fingers again.
He's so hard, and Jeongguk just skims his fingertips over his prostate before going back to stretching him, teasing even now, Taehyung crying out against Jeongguk's mouth. Taehyung knows Jeongguk can tell, too, tracing the fingers of his other hand down the length of Taehyung's cock. By the time Jeongguk shifts back between Taehyung's leg to line up his slicked up cock with Taehyung's hole, Taehyung practically sobs with impatience. He doesn't need to be told to relax again, Jeongguk sliding in to the hilt so easily it punches a moan out of Jeongguk's throat, too.
It feels so good Taehyung can't stop crying out with each perfect thrust, and he tries to writhe closer. Jeongguk groans again and reaches up, this time to slide the blindfold from Taehyung's face, his wide frame blocking the light as Taehyung squints, adjusting. All he can see is Jeongguk, his focused gaze on Taehyung's face despite the obscene sounds of their bodies meeting again and again.
"Good," Taehyung gasps out, and Jeongguk leans in closer to hear, questioning sound on his lips. "Feels - feels good, more, please - " and Jeongguk obeys without pause, picking up the pace of his hips until Taehyung's crying out into his mouth again. Even without the blindfold, his eyes fall shut again as he just takes in Jeongguk's heat and touch.
He swears he's about to come when Jeongguk suddenly slows, shifting into him gently as he reaches for something off to the side and lubes it up. "Don't stop," Taehyung whines, blinking his eyes open as he clenches around Jeongguk's cock, making Jeongguk choke a little.
"I got you," Jeongguk murmurs, and gently slides something over Taehyung's cock. It's a cock ring, obviously, Taehyung shouldn't have expected otherwise, but he still whines and sobs in aroused disbelief as Jeongguk pushes Taehyung's legs back even further and fucks into him almost punishingly hard. Taehyung's long run out of words, only able to tilt his chin up and whimper until Jeongguk kisses him again - and even that doesn't last long, Taehyung letting his head fall back again as he struggles to catch his breath.
It feels like Jeongguk fucks him forever, until Taehyung can no longer feel his hands and desperately needing to come has placed second to the way Jeongguk looks above him, hips sharp and sweat sliding down his temples and neck. Rushing towards an end where Jeongguk pulls out to jerk them off to completion together, fingers fumbling to slip the cock ring off and they come at the same time, white ribbons streaking Taehyung's heaving chest and belly.
Jeongguk leans in for a quick kiss before backing off to let the cameras take over - recording Taehyung's debauched expression, the mess they've left on his skin, then panning down to their cocks and Jeongguk's face as he wipes the sweat away with his forearm. This is the first time Taehyung's gotten to look Jeongguk in the face properly, and somehow, he flushes when he realizes Jeongguk's been watching him fixedly this whole time.
Taehyung's life falls into a new rhythm, all of his classes and work and hanging out with Jimin shifting aside to make room for grabbing lunch with Jeongguk when their schedules match up, or Jeongguk texting him out of nowhere on a sunny day like
hey, let's go study at your outdoors alcove. Because he remembers these things Taehyung tells him randomly, when Taehyung's not used to people listening to him, god dammit.
It starts making sense to him when they're in the alcove, incidentally. Taehyung's on the edge of a planter box, various readings spread around him, and Jeongguk sitting on the bench next to him with his feet up, book in his lap as he annotates. They're alone in the alcove today besides a few birds flitting overhead and a squirrel that stares hard at them before deciding they don't have any food and aren't worth inspecting closer. The sun's barely come out today, shrouded by clouds, but Taehyung really needed to get work done and Jeongguk didn't seem all that opposed to being dragged out to meet him. He focuses better here, too, as they've discovered over the past few weeks.
Neither of them have put a name to it just yet, but Taehyung thinks he knows what it's called. The way Jeongguk will send him songs out of nowhere because he thinks Taehyung might like them, or the way he's starting to get the hang of what Taehyung means when he excitedly bombs Jeongguk's phone with emoticon after emoticon. Once, Taehyung was supposedly studying with Jimin and Jimin had rolled his eyes at him and said, "Texting your boyfriend again?" and Taehyung had been too busy gaping at him to deny it.
The notion doesn't seem too far off now, though. Taehyung looks up from his miserable excuse for notes and only sees Jeongguk - the way the faint daylight hits the curve of his neck, the little tufts of hair peeking out from under his beanie (red today, right when Taehyung thought he only owned white and black ones), his long eyelashes. This is his favorite Jeongguk, all soft, calm lines and golden skin.
"Jeongguk?" he says, just for the way Jeongguk turns to him like he only looks to Taehyung, too. He doesn't say anything, waiting for Taehyung to go on, and as always the heat of his attention makes Taehyung wonder how he ever thought Jeongguk was cold.
He doesn't really know what he was going to say, and it looks like he never will, because right when he opens his mouth to talk, the skies open up and start pouring rain. "Shit!" Taehyung yelps, diving to save his readings, Jeongguk quickly shoving his book into his bag and getting down to help Taehyung gather his own things. Once they've snagged all the papers, they make a break for it, since they're both dumbasses who didn't think to bring an umbrella.
When they duck under an awning over the entrance to one of the buildings, Jeongguk stares out at the stormy sky. "Damn, it's coming down hard."
"I didn't even wear a jacket with a hood," Taehyung says sadly. He peeks out at the downpour, wondering how long he'll have to wait under this ledge for it to let up enough so he can walk home. The umbrella is excusable, since it's probably lost under laundry and old essays, but there was a hoodie draped over his chair and he chose to wear a sweater instead. Because he will never make the mistake of lazy fashion ever again when meeting up with Jeongguk.
"I can give you a ride home," Jeongguk says, "if you don't mind sprinting to the parking lot with me."
"Oh, man, could you?" Taehyung says, perking up. The parking lot is a little far but the moment when they hop into Jeongguk's car and Jeongguk turns up the heater makes it worth it, Taehyung sitting back in the passenger seat. Looking around, he's not really surprised that Jeongguk's car is pretty nice, and kept surprisingly clean for the car of a male college student.
"Good thing I just cleaned up in here this week," Jeongguk laughs, as if he can tell what Taehyung is thinking merely by looking at his face. He puts his key in the ignition but doesn't turn the car on yet, just leans back in his seat. Looks at Taehyung for a long moment, as if seeing Taehyung next to him, in the passenger seat of his car, is worth taking in and committing to memory. Something he never wants to forget.
Taehyung isn't too sure who moves forward first. Either way, he's leaning over to the space between their seats, the gearshift digging into his stomach but he hardly cares when Jeongguk is closing the gap and kissing him. Barely kissing him, like he's afraid to press his lips to Taehyung's too hard - as if they haven't kissed like this and more so many times before. It doesn't last long, and they draw back soon, Taehyung feeling the flush rise to his cheeks as he looks into Jeongguk's face.
"I - " Jeongguk cuts himself off, looks away and takes off his beanie to run a hand through his hair. Taehyung swallows against a swell of longing he's not used to resisting when he's with this boy. "I've...wanted to do that for a while now."
"You should've," Taehyung says, his voice coming out softer than he expects and a little strange, like it's not coming from his body. "I wouldn't have minded."
Jeongguk peeks at him, looking at him again, and reaches across the space again to take Taehyung's hand in his. He's surprisingly warm for such cold weather. The rain outside is coming down harder than ever, landing in fat drops on the windshield, and Taehyung has never been one to like gloomy weather when sunshine feels so much better on his skin, but he sends his eternal gratitude to the skies for these fortunate circumstances. And pledges to continue forgetting his umbrella, so more fortunate circumstances continue to happen.
Eventually, Jeongguk has to take his hand back at least to back out of his parking space, but Taehyung captures it for his own to hold as Jeongguk drives him home. He looks damn good driving, too, and Taehyung vaguely considers giving road head before conceding that, with this much rain still coming down around them, they'd end up hydroplaning and that would not end well for anyone. It's the thought that counts, though.
He instructs Jeongguk through the streets until they get to his apartment complex. "There you go," Jeongguk says, parking the car. "Don't forget anything."
"I've got it all," Taehyung says cheerfully, and leans forward to peck Jeongguk on the lips goodbye, because he can. Because this is real. He doesn't get to see Jeongguk's expression afterwards, the rain still too heavy as he scrambles out of the car and for the door, but the butterflies making a racket in his stomach are more than enough.
from: ppark jjiminie
do you ever wonder what it'd be like if we didn't do porn?
Taehyung peers at his phone, confused. It's four in the morning, and he's only awake because he's got a midterm the next day and last-minute cramming is a lifestyle, not a bad habit. As far as he knows, Jimin isn't the type to send introspective, existentialist messages out of nowhere.
what do you mean? Taehyung types, then hesitates, doesn't reach for his emoticon keyboard.
we do porn, that's how it is. it was our decision. He hits send.
He shuffles through some more flashcards before Jimin replies.
i know, i know. sometimes i just think about it i guess.
A world without porn, huh? Taehyung's never really had cause to think about it since he started doing it. He can't stop turning it over in his head now, though, once Jimin's brought it up. What are the odds that, on one ordinary Monday afternoon, he'd have bumped into Jeongguk outside his lecture hall and ended up grabbing lunch with him? Would Jeongguk have stopped to talk to him, even if he didn't recognize him from someplace else, or just gone on his way? Or maybe if they'd met some other way, whatever they have between them could've grown organically, with sex as more of an end goal than a catalyst. Eyes fixed forward instead of looking back.
what do you think about? he can't help but ask. Jimin shouldn't even be awake right now, so his thoughts must be especially loud. If talking them out sometimes helps Taehyung, maybe it'll work for Jimin, too.
i don't really know.
A few minutes go by, and then,
can i call you?
Taehyung texts back
yes, of course, and it isn't long before his phone is buzzing with a call. "Hello?"
"Sorry," Jimin says in lieu of a greeting. "I'm so sorry, it's late and I'm bothering you." He sounds tired, but not sleepy, just that kind of bone-deep fatigue that sometimes threatens to turn you inside out when you least expect it. Taehyung wonders when his best friend started sounding this way, and how it took him so long to notice. Jimin had to let his guard down for Taehyung to even look properly.
"I'm awake now, anyways, so don't even worry about it," Taehyung reassures him hastily.
Jimin breathes quietly on his side of the line for a few heartbeats, and Taehyung flips through his papers some more. "I guess I was just thinking about how it used to be where I could date people, and have sex knowing that I belonged to them and they belonged to me. And now that's not a thing I can have."
"I mean, at least the company doesn't outright ban us from having outside relationships," Taehyung offers. But he can imagine the expression Jo Kwon would make if he knew about Taehyung and Jeongguk outside of work, and it's not a particularly pretty one.
"Yeah," Jimin admits, but he still sounds down. "It could be worse. But I just... I always thought that I was one of those 'one great love' type of people, you know? The ones who only love one person in their entire life with everything they've got, and give themselves only to them."
"And I kind of realize sometimes that I can't do that, and even if I love someone, there would be this thing in the way. This thing I can't take back. Even though the pay's nice, and I'm great at it, and they even made me #1 at one point, I... I don't know whether I should've done it. There are other ways to make money and other things I'm pretty good at, after all," Jimin says. It's like he's hardly talking to Taehyung anymore, the words wrenching free from his mouth because they can't go unsaid any longer.
"Jimin," Taehyung repeats, chest aching, because he doesn't know what else to say.
"I mean - it's not like I regret everything," Jimin says suddenly, like he's woken up to the sound of Taehyung's voice and scrambling to backtrack, pulling the act back together. "If I didn't join BTS Entertainment, I would've never met you and found a best friend. And I would've missed out on a lot more awesome orgasms!"
Taehyung doesn't get it sometimes, how Jimin can always keep trying, always push himself harder. It's times like these when Taehyung remembers Jimin's really, really strong, probably stronger than he is. "Yeah," he says encouragingly. "For sure." Because that's what Jimin needs to hear right now.
He thinks he hears Jimin sigh, and then they sit in silence again. After all this time, and all the various kinky things they've done to each other and seen each other do, it's not awkward. But that doesn't mean it can't be a little sad, and Taehyung's no longer got the attention span for the material his midterm's going to be on - he's studied all he can by now, anyways. As ready as he'll ever be.
"Taehyung," Jimin says hesitantly. "I'm..."
"What is it?" Taehyung asks. It's so late, the night outside is blacker than pitch and the only lights that illuminate are the streetlight down the block and the tiny lamp on Taehyung's desk. At this hour, it's colder than ever.
"I'm filming with Jeongguk tomorrow," Jimin says, meek and apologetic. "I felt that I should at least tell you, I don't know."
In a world where Taehyung - and his best friend, and his maybe boyfriend - didn't do porn, he wouldn't have to worry about his best friend and maybe boyfriend having sex. For work. "Oh," he says. Real eloquent.
"I'm sorry," Jimin repeats miserably, and Taehyung can't quite put his heart into it when he tries to reassure him again.
He's confused and distracted during his next meeting with Jo Kwon, looking at the words on the proposals without actually reading them. What does it matter, he can't help but think. He can fuck anyone.
"Taehyung? Taehyung!" Jo Kwon is saying impatiently, and Taehyung jerks his head up from the pages, where the only things jumping out at him are the names of his upcoming future co-stars, and not Jeongguk's. It's weird, in the past he might've jumped at an opportunity to do this outdoor sex plotline, but now he can't muster the energy.
"Sorry," Taehyung says, the word heavy on his tongue. He puts the files down on the table in front of them, flattens out the sheets with a palm.
Jo Kwon huffs and eyes him sternly. "I said, how does your schedule for the next few weeks look like? It's getting farther along in the semester and we still need to know when you're free for more days of filming, for the holiday special."
Last year for the holiday special, V got to fuck Jimin and Hoseok at the same time; it'd pushed Jimin nearly to the limits of his flexibility, and pairing that with Hoseok's stamina, Taehyung had forgotten where he was after the last orgasm was wringed from his body. Now, though, Taehyung can only remember that he'd spent Christmas Day alone, curled up in bed with only the protests of his body to keep him company. He'd lied to his parents and said he didn't have enough money to fly home that year, asking them to send his love to his younger siblings.
"I get off class on Friday the week before," he says quietly. Jo Kwon marks it down on the planner before him, and Taehyung suddenly, belatedly, wants to lie to him. No, he can't make it this year. He can't do it. His schedule doesn't match up, he wants to go back home, he wants his Christmas Day to be as magical as he'd always grown up believing it was. More than anything, he doesn't want to go through it alone again.
"Good," Jo Kwon says briskly. "They're thinking of putting you with Jimin and Jeongguk this year, since you guys have so much chemistry, so together - Taehyung?"
Taehyung doesn't realized he's risen to his feet until he's already standing, chair knocked backwards behind him and the papers before him strewn on the ground. "I - " he stammers. His hands are trembling, and he curls them into fists to try and stop it. It's one thing to know Jeongguk and Jimin film together, but asking him to be there? As Jeongguk kisses Jimin messily across the mouth, or fucks into him, fucks someone who's not Taehyung?
"Not everyone has the chance to film with two #1's," Jo Kwon says. He's looking at Taehyung with that expression, the one like he's fucking figured it all out - the one Taehyung was so afraid of seeing on his manager's face - and greatly disapproves. He knows he's got it good, with a manager who actually seeks to push Taehyung up the rankings instead of some brutal handler, but there are hard lines and Taehyung's found his. It's not all about rankings. "Don't tell me you'll dare turn that down."
"I - I can't do it," Taehyung says. He's shaking all over, and he can't make himself sit down. Neither of them move to pick up the papers on the floor. "Not with those two."
It seems he's skipped the whole making demands part of his career and gone straight to refusing the proposals he's given. Months have gone by since Taehyung signed his contract to be one of the porn stars at BTS Entertainment, and responsibility is crashing down on his shoulders much too late. Now he's discovering firsthand why people don't last long in this industry, and it's not always because the audience finds flaws. Not always because popularity is fleeting and no one's been able to figure out its formula.
Jo Kwon is stiller than Taehyung has ever seen him - he's always checking his phone or chewing gum during their meetings, a constant motion in Taehyung's field in vision, except for now. "Taehyung," he says finally, and his crisp tone allows no room for protests. "We're done here for today. Go home and cool off, and we'll address this again later, when you're ready."
I'll never be ready, Taehyung thinks, but accepts the out for what it is and sets his chair upright on his way out the door.
It's not raining when he walks out of the building, but as Taehyung walks he can feel the beginnings of a drizzle touching lightly at his skin, as if even the skies are afraid to touch him too firmly or he'll fall apart. He can feel it soaking into his shirt at the shoulders, down the back, because he goddamn forgot his jacket on the ground and there's no way he's going back for it. By the time he reaches a familiar doorstep, he's soaked to the skin and shivering again for a different reason, fingers numb with cold.
He climbs the steps, fumbling in his pocket for his keys before pausing, hand hovering over the lock. This isn't the door to his apartment complex. Taehyung tips his head back, bewildered, until he realizes that he's somehow made his way to Jeongguk's place.
Fuck, this is awkward. He puts his hands into his pockets, then takes them back out hastily when he realizes his pants are just as wet and cold, crossing his arms across his chest instead. The trek back to his place will be awful, and he's debating at least waiting here sheltered from the rain when a girl comes up to the door and punches a code into the keypad, holding the door open for him courteously as she walks in.
"Thanks," Taehyung says gratefully, and she inclines her head at him with a friendly smile in return as she heads to the mailboxes. He's in here, he might as well go up, Taehyung decides as he presses the button to summon the elevator. If anything, he'll beg Jeongguk to give him a pity ride home.
Taehyung's only been here a few times, only enough to count on one hand. The hallway is familiar as he comes out from the elevator on (hopefully) the right floor, at least. He'd been blushingly jittery the first time, and bursting at the seams with how curious he was to see Jeongguk's place, at being let into such a private piece of his life. He predicted the compact, spartanly-decorated rooms, and even the dirty clothes strewn all over the place that Jeongguk hurriedly collected into the laundry basket so they'd have room to study. Anticipation had made Taehyung's stomach flip and flutter, but Jeongguk hasn't kissed him since that first time in the car - hasn't moved beyond those fond smiles and careful touches to Taehyung's hands and arms, the small of his back.
He knocks, praying he at least got the apartment number right. It's not as cold inside, but his drenched clothes stick uncomfortably to his body, chilly enough that he's still shaking a little. The door opens and Taehyung has never, ever been so thankful to see Jeongguk, dressed in a simple, slightly-oversized t-shirt and sweats, glasses perched on the bridge of his nose.
"Taehyung?" Jeongguk says incredulously, and tugs Taehyung inside quickly before Taehyung can even open his mouth and try to explain.
It's blessedly warm inside with the heater on all the way up, making the single apartment a welcome haven after the winter outside. Jeongguk doesn't even mind the water Taehyung drips on his carpets all the way to the bathroom, sitting Taehyung down on the toilet seat and snagging a towel off one of the bars. "What'd you do, run a mile in the rain? What are you doing here anyways?"
"It just happened," Taehyung says as he lets Jeongguk towel off his hair. He's so much gentler than Taehyung expects, working the water out with care rather than rubbing the towel over Taehyung's head vigorously. Taehyung's never really been touched like this before.
"I don't even know how you managed to get in here," Jeongguk continues, hands still making that slow motion over Taehyung's head and down to pat dry his neck.
Taehyung raises his arms and slowly curls them around Jeongguk's waist, pulling the other boy forward to press his face against Jeongguk's stomach. He can feel the dampness of his shirt seeping into Jeongguk's, and knows it must be cold especially against his body heat warmth, but he can't make himself let go and take this back. Above him, Jeongguk's hands freeze, the towel slipping from his fingers and onto the ground.
"Taehyung," Jeongguk says, a little strained. "Taehyung."
"I'm sorry," Taehyung says thickly. I'm so sorry, it's late and I'm bothering you, he thinks, and only tightens his arms around Jeongguk's waist, despite how tense Jeongguk is under his touch. It's only beginning to properly hit him now, the impossibly heavy sadness in Jimin's voice and, oh God, the look on Jo Kwon's face, like he just knew.
The moment pulls tight around them and they're caught at the center of it, Jeongguk barely breathing in his arms and Taehyung feeling his throat closing up with how badly he just wants to shut everything else out but this, but Jeongguk, right here with him. He wants to pull Jeongguk closer and crawl under his skin so he can curl up next to Jeongguk's heart and stay there, without anything in the way.
But he can't, he can't, and at last, Jeongguk breaks the stalemate and strokes his fingers through Taehyung's mussed up hair, attempting to soothe. "I've got you," he murmurs, and Taehyung lets those three words shake him apart harder than anything else, trembling all over without any tears escaping. If Jeongguk wasn't here to hold him together, arms around his shoulders, Taehyung has no doubt he'd be falling apart. Instead, Jeongguk is there, solid and comforting, until Taehyung thinks he can get a grip on himself, besides the pounding of his heart rate in his ears.
"Jeongguk," he says over the sound of it, and when Jeongguk pulls back to look at him, Taehyung reaches up with fingers now starting to get warmer and fists them in Jeongguk's collar, pulling him down to kiss.
Jeongguk groans low into his mouth, and there's something desperate and restless about it, the way they collide and Taehyung's gasping out words that he can't quite recall later, clutching at Jeongguk so tightly he can't feel his fingers all over again and Jeongguk just lets him as Taehyung bites into his mouth so hard he might taste iron on his tongue. The feeling flares back up in Taehyung's chest so strongly it's like it never left, except now it's a focused burn, right where his body meets Jeongguk's. Maybe if he does this, it'll stop hurting, he thinks wildly, and Jeongguk doesn't stop him when Taehyung crushes their mouths back together.
When Taehyung lets go and scrambles at Jeongguk's pants, though, wanting so badly it's like a tangible ache in his chest, Jeongguk pulls away from him completely. "I don't - I don't think that's a good idea," he says, panting. His glasses have been knocked sideways by the force Taehyung put behind the kissing, and Jeongguk takes them off completely, setting them down on the bathroom sink.
Taehyung wants to protest - he wants to wrestle Jeongguk's pants off of him and do whatever it takes to punch this feeling out of his chest - but he knows Jeongguk is right. Looking at Jeongguk's kiss-swollen lips and the hair at the side of his head sticking up where Taehyung dragged his fingers through it, Taehyung has to struggle to tamp down the desperation from rising up again. He didn't know wanting could feel this way, and it's making him dizzy.
"Okay," Taehyung says. His lungs burn as he, too, finds himself panting. "Okay."
The fight gone out of him now, Taehyung holds still as Jeongguk slowly undresses him, peeling his shirt off his torso and somehow working Taehyung's jeans off, even though the denim is stiff. Then Taehyung's briefs. Taehyung is half hard, and Jeongguk hesitates for a moment before standing back to his full height. "Shampoo's there," Jeongguk says, pointing it out in the shower stall beside them. "And soap. I'll have clothes for you when you get out."
"Thank you," Taehyung whispers, and gets into the shower. He goes through the proper motions of a shower, and doesn't jerk himself off, and by the time he steps out surprisingly refreshed, Jeongguk's got another towel and his own clothes for Taehyung to wear.
"Better?" Jeongguk asks as Taehyung towels himself down this time and gets dressed. Taehyung glances up as he pulls on what must be a pair of Jeongguk's boxers, pleased to see Jeongguk flushing and looking away, and tugs on the sweatpants and soft, worn flannel.
He smells like Jeongguk, he notes, delight blooming hesitantly in his chest. "Better," Taehyung says, and pecks Jeongguk on the mouth gratefully. The happiness grows as he feels Jeongguk smile against his lips, withdrawing but curling an arm around Taehyung's shoulders loosely. For a moment back there, he was afraid he'd ruined even this, but it seems they're just fine.
When they head back into the living room, Taehyung sees he interrupted Jeongguk in the middle of studying, judging by the books spread across his low coffee table. Jeongguk sits Taehyung down on the couch, then has to double back to grab his glasses from where he left them in the bathroom, but when he returns, Taehyung insists on sitting between his legs and cuddling as Jeongguk studies. "You're ridiculous," Jeongguk says affectionately, because he's weak to Taehyung's pouts and pleading eyes, even if he won't admit it out loud. They're sitting as Taehyung wants, after all.
"You like it," Taehyung murmurs against Jeongguk's neck, closing his eyes. He feels safe and peaceful, wrapped up in Jeongguk like this, and even when Jeongguk jostles him a little to grab something, he's fine. He could doze off like this, warm down to his bones.
If he only had those darn superpowers, Taehyung thinks. He wants nothing more than to halt time here and suspend them like this forever. And maybe he can't, but Jeongguk's warmth feels so good he decides he can put the rest of the world off just a little longer.
Taehyung's headed back from filming another project, this one planned with Jo Kwon before they had their fallout, with Inho again - it feels the management is trying to push him and a few of the other newer porn stars in the repertoire, like Sanghun and Jinyoung. Inho is good at porn, but something about the way he touches Taehyung rubs him the wrong way. Nothing personal, though, Taehyung thinks wryly. Already, Inho knows what angles look good and what sounds to make to drive the viewers crazy.
He checks his phone as he passes a bus stop for a reply from Jimin, who he texted in concern earlier today before heading into work; Jimin said he was feeling under the weather this morning, and has been a little MIA all day, which is strange for someone who's usually a contender for Taehyung's first place throne in the competition to text the most random thoughts and epiphanies to his friends. Still radio silence. The next bus to Jimin's side of town is coming up in a couple minutes, and Taehyung figures it wouldn't hurt to drop by Jimin's place and see whether he's still alive and kicking.
As he lets himself into Jimin's apartment building, Taehyung laughs a little as he realizes he's getting into the habit of barging into people's homes without giving them advance warning. But with Jimin, who has long informed Taehyung about the loose door to the stairwell, it doesn't feel too intrusive or anything when Taehyung knows the floorplan of the second level of Jimin's apartment like the back of his hand, after all those study hangouts and the times where Taehyung just came over to play video games until their brains turned into Super Smash Bros Brawl mush. That was a while ago, when they first started at BTS Entertainment and became fast friends after only a couple of films together. He knocks on the door loudly.
It takes a while, Jimin shuffling around before the door's unlocking and swinging open. He's swathed in a quilt so big it looks like it's about to swallow his small frame up. "Ugh," he says hoarsely, rubbing at his eyes and looking exhausted, definitely sick, "Seokjin hyung, I told you you didn't have...to come…"
He trails off, staring at Taehyung with widening eyes.
"'Seokjin hyung,' huh?" Taehyung says delicately. Suddenly, the realization drops on Taehyung's head like a brick, Jimin's 4 AM call filled with misery making a lot more sense. He should've probably seen this coming.
"Wow, okay, I am not having this conversation in my doorway when I'm feeling like I just crawled out of hell," Jimin says flatly. He gestures for Taehyung to come inside and shuts the door behind him, the edge of his quilt dragging as he retreats to bed with Taehyung trailing behind. As Taehyung takes a seat on the edge, Jimin crawls back into bed and buries himself in the blankets. They're both silent, save for Jimin's sniffles.
"Seokjin hyung, huh," Taehyung says again. He still remembers the shocking success of their couple film debut, the way upper management couldn't get over their surprise at how their viewers had devoured them, buying every film in the series and even less popular films for the bonus clips of Seokjin and Jimin in the end. Since then, BTS Entertainment has released many more along a more romantic vein besides just Taehyung and Jeongguk's, but none of them have really been able to match Seokjin and Jimin's charm.
"Yes," Jimin says defensively from somewhere inside of his cocoon of blankets. "It happens, Taehyung, you should understand best out of everyone."
Taehyung thinks of Jeongguk, and how dangerous good chemistry can be. "Yeah, I guess I do," he says quietly. "How long?"
"Since after we filmed the second part of the series," Jimin mumbles. It's been a long time, then, a couple months after Taehyung moved up from cam shows. Several months. There's a terrible moment where Taehyung thinks Seokjin fucked him the first few times while he was dating Jimin, but besides the most recent time, he's in the clear. And now they're even, Taehyung thinks, that wry taste worming its way back onto his thoughts.
"Why didn't you tell me?" Taehyung asks, his voice soft and, despite his efforts to hide it, hurt. They're best friends, and Taehyung knows he would've taken any secret to the grave if Jimin had asked it of him.
Jimin sits back up fast, his face stricken. "It's not like that, it wasn't anything personal," he says in a rush. "No one knew besides the two of us. He said that would be best, and I agreed to it but - "
"All those tutoring sessions," Taehyung interrupts. "The home-cooked dinners even though I know you can't cook for shit besides instant ramen."
"Yeah," Jimin says, staring down at his blankets and picking at a loose thread. "Seokjin hyung is in culinary school so he's really good. He finally graduated this year, actually, and started working so..."
"So he retired and left BTS," Taehyung finishes for him, the pieces finally coming together now. He'd played a part in Seokjin's farewell film a few weeks ago, even, which had been more nostalgic than anything. It's a tacit rule in their world to not ask why someone leaves, whether it's switching companies or quitting for good, and Taehyung has seen plenty leave in the year he's been in these circles.
Jimin nods, shrugging a shoulder. "And I'm still there," he says softly. Still fucking people who aren't Kim Seokjin, his boyfriend.
It doesn't seem like there's a solution, is there? People can't just get up and quit their jobs because they're 'not feeling it' anymore; maybe in theory they can, but there are financial and other consequences to worry about. But yet they're selfish, and possessive, and only want their hands on the things they deem their own. Taehyung doesn't even know if he can call Jeongguk his own. They've never talked about this stuff, though if that breakdown in Jeongguk's bathroom didn't mean anything then Taehyung has no idea what does. He looks at Jeongguk and his chest is heavy with all the things he feels, and he thinks Jeongguk feels the same, with the way Jeongguk's gaze lingers on him when he thinks Taehyung won't notice. (But he does. Of course he does.)
Jimin looks at the expression of Taehyung's face and it must be bad, because he lifts a corner of his blanket in silent invitation and Taehyung burrows into the blanket nest thankfully, because his best friend always knows what to do. No matter what, nothing will change between them, this easy, comfortable atmosphere as they curl up together and, despite the mood hanging over them gloomily, fall asleep.
When Taehyung wakes up, he smells porridge in the air and Jimin is still out like a light, the worry lines finally smoothed out in deep sleep. He untangles his limbs carefully, trying his best to keep the warmth in as he slips free from Jimin's arms, and pads out to the tiny kitchenette.
He's not surprised to see Seokjin at the stove, stirring something in a pot. "Taehyung!" Seokjin says, jumping, and Taehyung can see him struggling to think of something to say, any excuse for Seokjin to be anywhere near Jimin's apartment as if he can keep the charade up longer.
"I already know," he says, leaning against the door frame, and Seokjin blinks at him, caught off-guard. "Jimin let it slip but don't get mad at him. He thought I was you when I came over and I figured it out, that's all."
"He did always want to tell you," Seokjin says with a resigned laugh. He turns back to his cooking, and they're silent for a moment, Taehyung closing his eyes and taking in the scents all around him. The smell of porridge makes him think, achingly, of home and his mother's porridge steaming in a bowl on the dining table.
The quiet hangs between them, and Taehyung opens his eyes again and marvels at how different this Seokjin is, Jimin's boyfriend Seokjin, from the man named Jin who pushed Taehyung down onto the mattress, having already predicted how much Taehyung would like it. For some reason, his broad-shouldered silhouette isn't out of place in Jimin's home at all. "I don't want to pretend I know how you feel," he says, the words bursting out of him with their longing to be heard by someone who could possibly, possibly understand the tangle of emotions in his chest, "but I… I'm with Jeongguk. So I get it, I guess, is what I'm trying to say."
It's the first time he's ever said it out loud to someone else, and Taehyung feels a little heady, like he's just made it more real - he and Jeongguk exist beyond the sanctuary he created in his mind. "Oh," Seokjin says, and turns to smile at him. "I'm happy for you two."
"Thank you," Taehyung says and he's never meant the words more. The fact that he and Jeongguk are together, however they are, is something to be happy about.
Seokjin serves him a bowl of porridge without asking, navigating through the cabinets and drawers for the bowl and spoon in smooth, confident movements before beckoning Taehyung further into the room. With a bowl for himself and the rest of the porridge simmering lightly on the stove, Seokjin sits across from him at the first meal they've ever shared and eats.
He asks Taehyung how he is, how school's coming along and even how work is, without a beat of hesitation. At first, Taehyung gives Seokjin the usual recounts of everything, the ones he would to his parents and classmates and anyone else, but by the time his spoon scrapes the bottom of the bowl, he's told Seokjin about how he's worried he won't pass a couple of his upper-div classes this semester and the confrontation with Jo Kwon.
"Jo Kwon's definitely good at what he does," Seokjin says, toying with the handle of his spoon pensively. "I saw him bring several people up the ranks fast, which is more than people like Jimin's manager, Seulong, can say. Or my ex-manager, Changmin, I don't know if you know him? But sometimes he's too focused on that, definitely."
"He's got his eye on the prize," Taehyung agrees as he scrapes his bowl clean.
"All that terrifying efficiency and sarcasm wrapped in one person," Seokjin says ruefully, "but not so much an outwardly emotional person. I think managers have a hard time realizing that having sex with someone can't always be an emotions-free deal. They arrange these projects and watch you do them but they won't know what it's like to be there, in the moment. So it's up to us to understand that about them."
"I don't think I can tell him properly," Taehyung says, even though admitting it fills him with a strange sense of shame.
"As you said, he probably already knows," Seokjin points out. "And I didn't exactly tell Changmin about Jimin on my way out."
"How do you do it? How can you deal with it, when you know Jimin walks out of this apartment and goes to work and...does all that?" Taehyung asks forlornly, and gives into the urge to put his head down on the table. He's been thinking about it for so long, and a future where he can't even take that, Jeongguk sleeping with other people who aren't Taehyung, doesn't seem that far off.
"It sucks," Seokjin says simply. "It does. But Jimin needs this particular job right now, and I want to stay with him, porn or not."
Taehyung stares up at him through his curtain of bangs. "Just like that? It's that easy?"
"Obviously not, but at some level, it kind of is. He means so much to me that, as long as he comes home to me at the end of the day and cherishes me the way I do him, that's enough," Seokjin says, putting down his spoon. "That's how I can love him right now, so that's it. With Jimin, it's not difficult."
"You guys are really something," Taehyung says empathetically, and Seokjin laughs and ruffles his hair. He collects their bowls and puts them in the sink to wash later, then sits back at the table, scooting his chair closer.
"Taehyung," Seokjin says, and Taehyung turns his head to look at him properly. "It's not a permanent thing. Porn, or school, or whatever else won't last moving forward. But if there are some things you don't want to live without, you have to reach out and grab them for yourself, right? For me, Jimin is one of those things."
"Oh," Taehyung whispers. Porn isn't permanent - it's temporary, a temporary job - and Taehyung somehow lost sight of that after all these months in that world. But Jeongguk…
Jeongguk, he wants to be permanent.
"Not that hard after all, huh?" Seokjin says, smiling at him again as if he can see all the pieces falling into place in Taehyung's mind, and Taehyung practically tackles him with a hug.
Jeongguk kisses him differently when they're not on camera. He's still intense and, frankly, amazing at it, but there's a tenderness to the way he holds the back of Taehyung's head in the span of his hand, almost like he's cradling glass. All those intent, craving looks, translated into the quickening rhythm of his breaths against Taehyung's mouth, taste intoxicating.
In all honesty, Taehyung had solely intended to get together to study for their increasingly pressing finals. It wasn't raining, but it was too cold and windy outside to study comfortably, so he'd holed up in a corner of the main library and Jeongguk joined him not soon after. Taehyung could see the shadows under his eyes despite the frames of the glasses Jeongguk was wearing again, and seeing him like this made him wish for the simplicity of cuddles on a rainy day again. There will be time for that after all this cramming and frantic paper-writing, though.
They'd studied nicely side by side all day, Jeongguk's knee bumping lightly against Taehyung's every once in a while, but now Taehyung thinks he's going to forget all the material he went over if Jeongguk keeps this up. The way Jeongguk licks needily into his mouth, he's a little surprised Jeongguk made it all the way until now, through the walk to his car and off campus and into the garage of Taehyung's apartment complex. Much lower risk of anyone seeing them here, though, in this dim lighting and relative privacy. Taehyung pulls back to catch his breath, and sees one of the stray fluorescent lights reflected in Jeongguk's eyes, throwing just enough illumination to show the fierce gentleness in his gaze.
"Jeongguk," Taehyung whispers as they gravitate towards each other again, and Jeongguk moans in response against Taehyung's lips, like he's saying yes, please. He can hear the soft, wet sounds of their mouths as they separate and come back together, edging closer until Taehyung feels the gearshift digging into his side (not for the first time).
They break apart when Jeongguk accidentally knocks his elbow on the steering wheel, wincing. It seems the thought comes to them at the same time, Taehyung glancing at the back seat and Jeongguk nodding hurriedly before Taehyung flings himself over the console the best he can in such limited space, Jeongguk following until they're sitting with no divide between them. Kissing is much easier this way as Jeongguk slides his mouth against Taehyung's again, Taehyung gasping eagerly, fingers curled in the white sweater Jeongguk's wearing today. Jeongguk's hands settle somewhere around Taehyung's waist, smoothing along the fabric like he wants to slip them up his sweatshirt and along Taehyung's skin. No objections here, Taehyung thinks eagerly.
Jeongguk doesn't move to undress him though, simply kissing Taehyung breathless until they naturally lie down in the backseat, Taehyung on his back with Jeongguk on top of him. It's by no means an easy fit, with Taehyung bending his legs with his knees sticking up at clumsy angles, but it's enough for Jeongguk to fit himself over Taehyung's body while propped on his elbows and his own knees, which means Taehyung has no protests. How could he, when this position gives Jeongguk the perfect angle to kiss Taehyung deeper, harder? Taehyung does his best to give it back as good as he's got, Jeongguk's thudding heart rate against Taehyung's chest a sign he's working his magic. He's never seen Jeongguk wound up so quickly before either, in all the times they've been together like this.
They're both hard in their pants, too, and rocking gently against each other unconsciously. Given that it's almost finals week, Taehyung's been seriously neglecting his laundry so he's gone commando again, and the outline of Jeongguk's cock against his is making him squirm. "More, please, Jeongguk," Taehyung breathes.
"Yeah," Jeongguk whispers back and puts more force into it this time as he grinds against Taehyung's hips. Taehyung whimpers at the friction, the drag of his sweatpants against his sensitive cock, and scrambles at Jeongguk for more.
The rutting is good but eventually not enough, Jeongguk shuddering against Taehyung's mouth as Taehyung loses patience and goes for his waistband, eternally grateful that he's in easy access athletic pants even if they don't hug his thighs as nicely as his jeans. After all, the jeans wouldn't be so easily shucked down to mid-thigh with his underwear. "Taehyung," Jeongguk bites out when he first curls his fingers around Jeongguk's cock.
"Do me too?" Taehyung whispers, tilting his head to kiss Jeongguk's jaw.
Jeongguk doesn't hesitate to obey, and Taehyung revels a little in the sound he makes when he puts his hand down Taehyung's pants and immediately meets warm skin. "You - drive - me - crazy," he growls, kissing Taehyung hard between each word as he takes Taehyung in his grasp, stroking him roughly in tandem with Taehyung's pace using a spit-slicked hand. Taehyung uses his free hand to help tug down his pants farther, so the cloth won't restrict Jeongguk's movements.
It's just a handjob, it shouldn't feel this good, but Taehyung's feeling driven to the edge already and this is Jeongguk touching him, letting him touch him. He wants to whine when Jeongguk releases him, but then Jeongguk's looking down between their bodies and lining them up, thrusting down again. Taehyung follows his line of sight and feels light-headed at the resulting rush of arousal, their cocks sliding against each other in a mess of pre-come and saliva. This time, Jeongguk grasps them both, getting them off together hard and fast now, and Taehyung cries out at how good it feels, reaching down to help with a fumbling hand.
He isn't too surprised when he comes first, releasing with a whimper all over Jeongguk's knuckles. Jeongguk follows quickly in suit, gritting out, "Fuck, Taehyung," against Taehyung's mouth before his body jerks against Taehyung's and he sags forward on one elbow, leaning more of his body weight on Taehyung's. Taehyung can feel the puffs of warm air against his neck as Jeongguk catches his breath, staring up at the ceiling of Jeongguk's car - where they just got off, because they couldn't even wait to go upstairs to his place. The windows of the car have fogged up from their heat. His leg is cramping up from the awkward angle.
"Fuck," Jeongguk says again, and even though his voice is muffled against Taehyung's clothes, Taehyung can tell the inflection has changed, "I messed up."
"Messed up?" Taehyung echos, his heart beating in his throat abruptly. He'd thought it'd be fine, and it's been so long since they touched each other like this, he thought he wasn't the only one wanting -
"I messed up. I told myself I could hold back until we were completely sure of things but I couldn't help myself just now," Jeongguk explains glumly, and turns his head to the side so he can peek up at Taehyung's face as if to assess the damage.
Taehyung thinks about Seokjin's text from earlier - they're now on texting terms, and just today he'd sent
make sure to talk things out with jeongguk!! communication is key for things like this. - and realizes belatedly that he's right. He knew Jeongguk's been holding back for some reason, noted it ever since that time in the bathroom, but didn't realize why until now. He isn't the only one who's been worrying lately. "It's okay," Taehyung says, and presses a kiss to Jeongguk's temple, because he can't reach his lips. "It's seriously okay. I really wanted it now, too."
"I know," Jeongguk says, and props himself back up on his elbows so he can look Taehyung in the face as he talks. "I do, but I don't want you to have sex with me if there's...any lingering feeling like you need to balance out the sex you have at work on a set. I don't doubt you want me, but I need..." He swallows. "I need to know you're serious about this and you want me the way I want you."
This is the first time they're talking about this - first time he's ever even heard Jeongguk directly address work - rather than skirting around the topic or pushing it off until later, and Taehyung is a little surprised that he feels ready for it. He's done with the elephant in the corner of the room. "I know what you mean," he says softly, looking Jeongguk in the face openly. "And I'm serious. I am. I'm serious about wanting you and this - this wasn't to set some hypothetical scale, this was because I want you and I enjoy the way you touch me. And a lot more than just this sexual aspect. You know?"
"Of course I know," Jeongguk says, and kisses the corner of Taehyung's mouth, his jaw, his Adam's apple. It tickles a little, but Taehyung doesn't move away. "You are much more than just sex to me."
Instead, he takes Jeongguk's still sticky hand and brings it to his lips to lick it clean, aware of every little change as Jeongguk's pupils dilate and his cock twitches in interest against Taehyung's because they have yet to pull their pants back up. When Jeongguk's done, Taehyung licks their come off his own hand, too, then looks up through his eyelashes at him. "But there's still the sex part, right?"
"Yes, you awful tease," Jeongguk growls again, but the sound is more playful than predatory and he lets Taehyung kiss him again without protest. They sit back up and put their pants back in order for each other, Taehyung cheerfully living up to the title as he gently wipes the come away with some tissues Jeongguk procures from the console before tucking Jeongguk back in and pulling his pants up. Jeongguk pays the favor back in full, of course, oh so accidentally rubbing his thumb over the sensitive head as he cleans Taehyung off.
Taehyung could probably go for another round, and the inside of his sweatpants against his cock is probably not helping with anything, but he opts to snuggle against Jeongguk and take his hand. "You said you want to be completely sure of things, right?"
"Yeah," Jeongguk says, leaning his head against Taehyung's. "I don't think 'friends' or 'fuckbuddies' are right, and we long passed 'coworkers.'"
"We did," Taehyung says. "I'd say you're my boyfriend, Jeon Jeongguk, and you probably have been for a while."
He glances up at Jeongguk's face, surprised and endeared at the red spreading across his cheekbones. "Yeah, boyfriends is...good," Jeongguk says at last.
Jeongguk can say all those cheesy, scripted lines and eat Taehyung out in the most obscene way, but calling them boyfriends makes Jeongguk blush. For the first time, the tangle of Taehyung's feelings finally start to straighten themselves out and rise to his lips in those three words. And rather than stamping them down, he finds he can hold them back at the threshold of his lips until the time is right with no difficulty at all. He can save these right here, at Jeongguk's side.
"I'll walk you up," Jeongguk offers before Taehyung can doze off in the afterglow; he hasn't been getting much sleep as of late among all the studying, and Jeongguk is so warm and comfortable Taehyung could knock out right here, car or not.
"Okay," Taehyung says happily. He reaches over to grab his things from the passenger seat, stumbling a little at the cramp in his leg, and Jeongguk's there immediately to catch him, looking probably more worried than the situation calls for. "I'm fine, it's just a tiny cramp."
"You should've said so earlier," Jeongguk chides him, and puts his arm around Taehyung's waist to take some of his weight off his sore leg. Taehyung refuses to let him take his bag for him, too, but this contact is nice, the way Jeongguk fusses over him is more than nice. They head up to Taehyung's room and end up making ramen, eating it together on the kitchen floor because Taehyung decides the table is too far, and because they can. He eyes Jeongguk's bowl with trepidation as Jeongguk pours all the spicy flavoring in, but doesn't mind the tang to Jeongguk's mouth when he kisses Taehyung while they're doing the dishes together afterward. He probably won't be able to eat this ramen again for a very long time without recalling the heat of Jeongguk's mouth against his, the tastes of the pepper and kimchi and the taste of him, Taehyung's boyfriend, melding together on his tongue.
After they've left the dishes to dry, Jeongguk ushers Taehyung onto the couch and sets about massaging the knots out of his cramp. It kind of works, except for the fact that Jeongguk's fingers firmly working over his thigh makes Taehyung hard all over again, ready and desperate for a repeat of what happened in the car.
"You are insatiable," Jeongguk says, laughing, as Taehyung yanks him down for a proper kiss. Taehyung can taste the mirth on his lips and it's sweet, a perfect counterpoint to their dinner.
"Only for you," Taehyung tells him, adoring the way Jeongguk shivers at his words and doesn't deny them. This time, they take it a little slower, long strokes of the hand that Taehyung feels throughout the entire length of his body, shivers up and down his spine. When he comes, he curls in towards Jeongguk and clings on tight.
Taehyung wakes up on Wednesday morning to the ringing of his cell phone and three missed calls, all from Jeongguk. "Good morning, babe," he says when he picks up, possibly dropping the pitch and wielding his rasping, just-woke-up voice to its fullest potential.
He can picture Jeongguk rolling his eyes on the other side, a smile teasing at his mouth because he can't resist it; Taehyung hopes he's blushing again. "Get up," Jeongguk says. "You're going to be late to your final."
"Oh, shit," Taehyung groans and flops back onto his blankets. This first final is in less than one hour. He'd forgotten he asked Jeongguk to give him a wake-up call, but thank God he did, seeing as he slept through all of his alarms before Jeongguk woke him up. With his grades hanging in the balance, sleeping through his final is the last thing he needs.
"That's right, now get your butt out of bed," Jeongguk says, his voice steely.
"You should come over here and do it yourself," Taehyung says mischievously, even as he sadly rolls out of the warmth of his beautiful bed and gets dressed, because if he's going to go get destroyed by this final, he better look good in his last moments.
"Then neither of us would get out of bed and you know it," Jeongguk says. Judging from the sounds of pen on paper and flipping pages, he woke up early to study for his afternoon final. "I'll swing by after and we can go out to lunch to celebrate your first final, sound good?"
"Yes," Taehyung says. "You're the best. I can taste the sandwiches already."
Jeongguk laughs quietly and the sound is right up against Taehyung's ear, filling him with warmth despite the early morning cold. "See you then, Taehyung."
He hangs up and Taehyung goes about collecting his things, uprooting his ID from somewhere in the depths of his backpack before heading out. It's a cold, brisk walk to the lecture hall where he's going to take his final, but it's not long before Taehyung is ducking inside, stomping sleet from his shoes and taking his seat.
His phone chimes with a new text, from Jimin.
good luck on your final!! from me and seokjin~
thank you but i fear i will not make it out alive, he replies, and remembers to mute the sound of his notifications so he doesn't get busted during the exam. Man, he'd be a mess without his friends. And boyfriend.
kekeke i'm sure you'll be fine, Jimin sends back with a cluster of cheering and happy emoticon faces, as well as ten thumbs up signs.
Taehyung glances up as the TA's running the exam call for everyone's attention, preparing to pass out the tests.
it's starting. if i die, tell jeongguk i love him
tell him yourself!, Jimin shoots back before Taehyung has to put his phone away and prepares himself to remember every detail he studied in between getting handsy with Jeongguk. It's actually not that bad, since studying with Jeongguk forced him to get an early start on things and gave him the time to go over more material than he usually can. He just takes it one problem at a time, and tries not to lose his head when he isn't sure about an answer, and before he knows it, the test is over and the proctors are calling time. One final down, two to go.
When he steps outside the hall, checking his texts for a message from Jeongguk in reply to his
where you at, he notices he has an email from Jo Kwon. Scheduling their next meeting, as soon as possible, most likely to discuss the holiday season shoots that he refused to talk about last time. Again, he's surprised that he's ready to face these things head-on, that the desire to hide away and pretend they don't exist has faded. Maybe this is what they call growing up, Taehyung wonders.
He pulls up a new email to reply to Jo Kwon - he's going to deal with this first thing after finals week, no more running away. After he hits send, he lifts his head at a call of his name and sees Jeongguk, bundled up in a sweater and coat, another one of his numerous beanies on his head. With the collar of his coat turned up, there's not much of his face that Taehyung can see besides the smile in his eyes when he knows Taehyung's caught sight of him.
"Hi," Taehyung says when he reaches Jeongguk at the bottom of the steps, knowing that he's got all his excitement and happiness showing in his smile back, always with his heart on his sleeve - but here's Jeongguk with his hands out to catch it and Taehyung never knew it could feel like this.
There's a blot of ink on Taehyung's finger that he tries to rub off as he waits outside Jo Kwon's office, most likely from the final he took before heading over. His brain feels a little fried, and he had pictured his Friday evening after finals week a little differently than this, but now Taehyung just wants to get this done and over with.
If he weren't toying with his phone, he would've missed the notification he gets, a text:
from: jeongguk ♥
going to be a little late today. still ok if i come over tonight?
yes of course!!, Taehyung texts back with a colorful bunch of hearts, then hesitates, wondering if he should tell Jeongguk what he's about to do before he takes the plunge. But the last thing he wants to do is to make Jeongguk do anything because he feels like he's obliged to, and this is something Taehyung needs to do for himself, too. He slips his phone back in his pocket.
"Come in," Jo Kwon says finally.
He steps inside and sees, hopefully for the last time, the office of his manager. It's decorated in clean, monochrome colors and the occasional splash of flamboyance, everything in its proper place, and Taehyung's jacket is folded neatly on the table. Jo Kwon's got his planner on the table before him, but it's not open to today's date, pen at the ready. Just closed. Jo Kwon folds his hands before him and looks at Taehyung seriously.
"Hey," Taehyung says awkwardly, taking a seat. "Um."
Jo Kwon doesn't interrupt or cut in the way he usually does, just waiting Taehyung out. In truth, Taehyung realizes, he's going to miss his manager, his deadly efficiency and the way he pushed Taehyung to get his commitments done. He should've probably brought a goodbye present.
"I'm leaving BTS Entertainment," Taehyung says in a rush. "I mean, I'm quitting. I quit. This isn't something I can do anymore, and I'm sorry."
He thinks of the way Jeongguk tastes against his lips when they're not being filmed for the viewing pleasure of others. Of the dull, aching guilt that settles in the pit of his stomach after a shoot, gnawing at him the next time he sees Jeongguk's face. The weekend days that he's spent down for the count because he was fucked too roughly, or the way his mother's voice had twisted on the phone when he called to tell her he couldn't make it back last year. He'd gotten used to missing his family, to putting his head down and working through his summer break. To curling up in bed alone with only his own warmth to fend off the winter months when he gets back late from yet another shoot, and he refuses to go back to that.
"No time for even a holiday or farewell film, huh?" Jo Kwon asks, without opening his planner, because he knows the answer as well as Taehyung does before Taehyung even shakes his head mutely. "Well, that's fine. We probably have enough footage on hand from your past projects to scrape something together."
"That's it?" Taehyung asks, disbelief giving him voice again.
Jo Kwon shrugs, and pushes his jacket forward along the surface of the table, so Taehyung will take it. "Your contract's almost up for the year, and it's your decision whether you want to renew it. We don't particularly try to be cruel here."
"Yeah," Taehyung says, and is gripped with a sudden desire to laugh. This is a job, and jobs are temporary, and Taehyung will walk out of this building with his jacket in hand and somehow figure out a new way to pay his rent and buy plane tickets home to see his family. Seokjin was right, this isn't hard at all. Even if someone recognizes him from one of his porn films, even if he has to go through the hassle of moving somewhere cheaper, it'll be fine.
"My only regret is that I couldn't get you to #1," Jo Kwon says abruptly, when Taehyung's almost out the door. Taehyung hesitates, and turns around to look at him. "It might not be the nicest compliment, to tell you that you were good at what you did, but it's true. You were good at it. I'm glad I was your manager."
"Thank you," Taehyung says softly, and opens the door, stepping over the threshold without looking back.
He walks away from it all, thinking about how Jimin was right, too. If he hadn't joined BTS Entertainment, he would've never met Jimin or Seokjin, or Jeongguk, and he sure as hell would've missed out on a lot of amazing orgasms. Rather than wondering whether he would've met Jeongguk some other way, whether in university or later down the road, he's just grateful beyond words that he has no matter how it happened. And now, rather than building up to sex as an end goal for their relationship, Taehyung gets to bask in feeling wanted without wondering about when he's getting laid. Of course, the sex is nice, too, but Jeongguk holding Taehyung for the sake of holding him is new and wonderful and Taehyung can't get enough of it.
When he gets home, he checks his bank account, then buys plane tickets home even though rent is due soon and they're overpriced this close to the holiday season - because what's the point of working so much if he can't even spend his earnings on what counts? Then he picks up the phone, calls home, and almost cries when he hears how overjoyed his mother is, his thrilled little siblings shouting his name animatedly in the background. "We're looking forward to it," his father tells him gruffly, and Taehyung tries not to sob out loud as he replies, "Me, too."
He's looking through some job listings, saving a few to potentially apply to, when Jeongguk knocks on the door. "Coming," he calls, scrambling to his feet and across the living room to open the door for him.
"Hey," Jeongguk says, and lets Taehyung engulf him in a hug, because Taehyung's just so happy to see him, so happy to belong only to him. He kisses Taehyung on the forehead when Taehyung lets him go, unwinding his scarf from his neck. "Got a moment?"
"Of course," Taehyung says; he's got all the time in the world for Jeongguk now. He's confused but not protesting as Jeongguk pulls him over to the sofa, sitting him back down and closing his laptop. He's bursting to share his news but something in Jeongguk's expression makes him quiet, and wait.
Jeongguk takes a deep breath, and tugs off his gloves, stuffing them into his coat pocket, before reaching out to take Taehyung's hand. "I went to Seulong today and quit as an actor at BTS," he says. "As a porn star, I mean. I've been thinking about it for weeks now, it even crossed my mind the first time I took you out on that date to the sandwich place, and I couldn't really tell whether you liked me or not back then. But I had to do it."
"You what?" Taehyung says, jaw dropping.
"Sorry, sorry, I know I should've told you, but my friend told me today he'd take me on at his studio part-time and I just went ahead and did it. I didn't want to make you do anything you didn't want to, either," Jeongguk says, tightening his fingers around Taehyung's like he thinks Taehyung will be mad at him. "And - and, also - "
Taehyung has no idea what Jeongguk could add onto an announcement like that, because seriously, and then Jeongguk's pressing something cold and metal in his hands and Taehyung opens his fingers to see a key lying in his palm and it turns out Jeongguk has. "This is - "
"A key to my place," Jeongguk says, flushing a little. "Only if you want it. I don't want to rush you into moving in with me or anything, but I just want you to know you can. And you're welcome to come over whenever you want. I'm still getting you a key into the building, so you won't have to wait out in the rain again, like last time."
"Oh my fucking God," Taehyung says. The key shines in his hand, newly cut, like Jeongguk had gotten it made on the way here. He laughs, at Jeongguk's hesitant expression like he thinks Taehyung will tell him no now, and at everything else. "You beat me. I can't win against you."
"What?" Jeongguk says, his turn to sound confused now, but opens his arms obligingly when Taehyung flings himself into his lap, curling his own arms around Jeongguk's neck.
"I went and quit today, too," Taehyung says, pulling back just enough so he can see the shock and happiness bloom on Jeongguk's face. "V has gone to the grave and now Kim Taehyung is all yours. For however long you want him."
"Always," Jeongguk says, and kisses him, hard. "I gave you a goddamn key - "
Taehyung laughs and laughs against Jeongguk's mouth, and then pulls away long enough to find his jacket and the key chain in its pocket, so he can add Jeongguk's to the mix. He toys with the ones that let him into his own apartment, amazed at how it's all worked out, then says lightly, "I guess I have to tell my landlord I don't need these anymore."
Jeongguk makes a strangled sound that would be embarrassing if his mouth wasn't on Taehyung's again in the next moment, sending any thoughts that aren't about making out with Jeongguk straight out Taehyung's head. He tries his best though, even though Jeongguk's hands sliding up his shirt and along the skin of his back, holding his waist, warm and alive and touching him without holding back. "You'll have to help me move out," Taehyung says breathily, when Jeongguk moves to kiss down his throat. "Bet you'll look good carrying heavy boxes, bet I'll look good in your living room, in your apartment."
"Stop talking," Jeongguk instructs him, but he sounds knocked breathless, too, a mere shadow of the severe tone he's trying to discipline his voice into. "Stop talking and more kissing, Taehyung, come on - "
"Yeah," Taehyung says and closes his eyes, trying to soak it all up. All these months dating Jeongguk while working at BTS and now that the double life is over, he can hardly wrap his mind around the shift. No more misery, no more guilt, just this ability to give himself completely to his boyfriend that everyone else must take for granted.
If he thought Jeongguk kissed differently when they were off-camera, Taehyung is solely unprepared for the way Jeongguk kisses him after they've both closed the doors on their careers as porn stars; they'll never see a camera in their bedroom ever again, unless they put it there themselves (which is not a bad idea, Taehyung better not forget this thought later). It's like Jeongguk can't get enough of him, licking into Taehyung's mouth but pulling away to kiss down the line of his collarbones peeking from the collar of his sweater, hands everywhere, almost frantic. Taehyung responds just as enthusiastically, tugging at Jeongguk's coat to shuck it off his shoulders.
Jeongguk presses him back against the couch cushions - making sure Taehyung's comfortable this time - and kisses his way down his jaw. Without warning, he presses his mouth to Taehyung's throat hungrily and sucks a hickey against the smooth skin. "Shit, wait," Taehyung moans, prying his eyes open as Jeongguk pulls back looking smug and devastatingly good, all mussed up. Then he remembers he's no longer forbidden to get hickeys or any other lasting marks, because there are no longer makeup artists to cover them up and managers to get angry. He has no reason to cover them up anymore if he's not going to film. When the epiphany hits him, Jeongguk looks even more pleased, drawing a thumb down over the reddening mark.
"You have no idea how long I've wanted to do that," Jeongguk says, his voice gone low and rough with arousal. Taehyung shivers and feels himself hardening further in his jeans. He gets it, of course - anyone who sees this hickey will know Taehyung is taken.
"I think I can guess," Taehyung whispers, and pulls Jeongguk back down to kiss him again. Seokjin had been right about a lot of things, and trying more things than many people will only ever dream about had given Taehyung a clue into the rest, but Jeongguk finds others easily that Taehyung never even knew about. As Jeongguk nips and worries at his neck with his teeth, Taehyung squirms against him, loud whimpers tripping their way out of his throat. He groans in relief when Jeongguk brings his mouth back up to meet his, the territory of Jeongguk's mouth familiar yet still exhilarating.
Between kisses, Jeongguk rucks Taehyung's sweater up his chest, licking at a nipple as Taehyung tries to somehow help him get the clothing off while arching into his mouth. He drops the sweater off the edge of the couch quickly so he can curl his fingers in Jeongguk's hair, scramble at his shoulders. "Jeongguk," he moans, and it tastes so right in his mouth that he finds he can't stop saying it, each breath a panting plea of his name.
"Yeah," Jeongguk responds, "Taehyung, yes, I know - " and even though Taehyung isn't saying anything else, he knows. He kisses Taehyung back like he's trying to swallow his cries, for the feeling of Taehyung's desperation on his tongue, in the form of his own name. They crash together again and again and Taehyung doesn't know how he had sex so many times without feeling this, half of this, any of it. But he's here now, and it all feels right.
Taehyung drags Jeongguk's shirt up and off his body too, trying to put his hands everywhere on Jeongguk's chest, his abs. When he dips his fingers down to the slants of Jeongguk's pelvis and goes for his belt, though, Jeongguk stops. "Wait, wait," he says as if forcing the words out from somewhere deep, with difficulty.
"I don't want to wait," Taehyung says desperately. "You can't possibly tell me no now - "
"I'm not," Jeongguk says, and kisses him again, slower so Taehyung's gasping against him. "I just - want to move to the bed. Do this properly."
Taehyung moans weakly against Jeongguk's shoulder, hard enough to ache, but it's the swell of his heart in his chest that makes it hard to speak for a moment. "Okay, yes," he whispers.
He's not too sure what he expected Jeongguk to do next, but it certainly wasn't this, the way he hefts Taehyung in his arms and bodily lifts him up from the sofa's surface. Taehyung clings on tight, surprised and even more turned on, as Jeongguk carries him down the hallway and into Taehyung's bedroom, dropping him on his unmade bed.
"You are so - " Taehyung mutters, yanking Jeongguk down to kiss him again messily. He didn't know he was into Jeongguk doing that, too, and after they christen this bed, he's going to demand another go against the wall. Unbelievable, Taehyung thinks as he opens his mouth to Jeongguk's, incredible, ridiculous. Mine.
Jeongguk just laughs, sending vibrations through Taehyung's chest from where they're pressed together, and instead of tearing at each other's clothes like Taehyung expected, they take it slow, divesting each other of the last layers separating their bodies. When Jeongguk goes down on him, he sucks him down languidly then makes eye contact with Taehyung as he pulls off at the same maddening pace. "Who's the tease now?" Taehyung groans.
"Looks like it's me," Jeongguk says with a smirk, and swallows around him again, hands a vice around his hips to keep Taehyung from bucking up against him. Taehyung grips at the bedsheets and tries not to come too soon. He blinks hazily at Jeongguk as he asks, "Where's the lube?"
"Top drawer," Taehyung gasps out, gesturing at the bedside dresser, and Jeongguk crawls up the length of Taehyung's body to go get it, kissing him briefly. Taehyung reaches up and jerks Jeongguk off a little, getting his fingers sticky with Jeongguk's pre-come, and wishes he had the angle to take Jeongguk's cock into his mouth and return the favor. Jeongguk exhales harshly but doesn't stop him, stretching to get the lube out of the drawer Taehyung indicated.
"Condom?" Jeongguk asks, looking down at Taehyung, and Taehyung shakes his head, mouths at Jeongguk's stomach. He can feel Jeongguk shudder in anticipation as he moves back into place and it makes him feel headier than ever. They always use condoms on set, and are rigorously checked for STDs at BTS (because the CEO has Standards), so Taehyung knows they're both clean and he needs to be as skin on skin as he possibly can right now.
Jeongguk drops the bottle of lube somewhere next to Taehyung's leg and dives back into the blowjob like he's got all the time in the world and he'd rather be nowhere else than here. To be honest, he kind of does, except Taehyung might go crazy if this is all they do.
In the end, he's proved wrong when Jeongguk hikes Taehyung's legs higher so they prop on his own shoulders and licks across Taehyung's hole. "Fuck," Taehyung gasps as Jeongguk teases across it again, the sound wet and obscene in Taehyung's ears. "Fuck!" He should've known Jeongguk was going to do this, rim him until Taehyung was sobbing against his pillow, body washed with electric pleasure that contrasts perfectly with the instinct to jerk away from being touched so deliberately someplace so intimate.
When Jeongguk pulls away to slick up his fingers, Taehyung lies on the bed limply, feeling like all the bones in his body have turned to liquid, trying to catch his breath. "Good?" Jeongguk asks as he sits and waits for the lube to warm a little, and Taehyung nods weakly, lifting his head for a kiss that Jeongguk obliges.
"Relax for me, okay?" Jeongguk asks, voice soothing, as he presses the first finger in, and Taehyung can hear his next exhale coming out hard, like it was punched from his chest, at how easily Taehyung opens up for him. Jeongguk is patient, working his fingers in and out of Taehyung until he can take three, and Taehyung can't help the gasps and moans he's making but he needs to hear it, the soft stream of praise Jeongguk is murmuring. "You're so good for me, you look so good, Taehyung, ah, look at you…"
"Jeongguk," Taehyung whimpers, tightening around Jeongguk's fingers, and Jeongguk raises dark eyes - pupils so dilated that's almost all Taehyung can see of his irises - to his face, swallowing hard. "More."
Jeongguk takes a shuddering breath and pulls his fingers free, opening the lube again to slick up his cock. He's so fucking hard, and has gone untouched all this time, that he doesn't need much to add to the pre-come dripping down the side of his length before he's pressing the head of his cock to Taehyung's entrance, testing. Taehyung moans enthusiastically as Jeongguk slides in deep, wrapping his legs around Jeongguk's waist. He feels stretched wide open, even with the preparation, and he pulls Jeongguk back down to kiss him, trembling at the feeling of Jeongguk inside of him, nothing left separating their bodies.
God, it's been too long. It's been too long since Jeongguk's filled him up just right, thrusts hard and decisive against Taehyung's prostate - the last time they did this was the blindfold and bondage film, months ago. But it's also well worth the wait, because now they belong solely to each other and never, ever have to sleep with other people again while the other waits at home restlessly. "So good," Taehyung whines against Jeongguk's mouth. "You - Jeongguk - "
"I know," Jeongguk murmurs, feeding the words between Taehyung's lips as he hitches his knees closer to get a better angle, pounding into him. Taehyung writhes and shakes on Jeongguk's cock, sobbing breathlessly.
He loves the way Jeongguk makes him feel, safe and secure when Jeongguk cages him in with his arms, but when Jeongguk pulls back from leaving another hickey, this time lower on Taehyung's throat near his right collarbone, Taehyung pushes gently at his shoulders. And Jeongguk lets him, allowing Taehyung to maneuver him onto his back even though they both groan when Jeongguk's cock slips out of Taehyung. Jeongguk scoots up against the pillows fast, hands lingering on Taehyung's waist and thighs as Taehyung straddles him, reaching back to guide Jeongguk's cock inside again.
They've never done it this way before, so the view of Jeongguk lying back on his elbows, drinking Taehyung in the way Taehyung is taking him in, is new and breathtaking. Taehyung rides his cock without holding back, fucking himself back and Jeongguk stretches up to meet him halfway when he leans down for kisses. This gorgeous boy is mine, Taehyung realizes, looking into Jeongguk's eyes. Suddenly, those feelings are back, filling his chest, racing across his tongue to his lips.
"I love you," Taehyung says, his palms flat against Jeongguk's chest, their eyes locked. Jeongguk stills under him, startled, and Taehyung realizes that he's said them out loud, and they can't be taken back. "You don't have to say it back," he hastens to add. "I just… I just wanted to tell you. So you know."
Jeongguk has never been the type to say these things - not with the ease Taehyung's had all his life, with a mouth quicker than his mind and a quite non-existent filter - but Taehyung knows how he feels through every little action. Through the gentle rub of a towel against Taehyung's wet hair, or the new key dangling on his lanyard, an open invitation into Jeongguk's home. Taehyung knows how he feels about him and it's enough. So it takes him completely by surprise when Jeongguk props himself up all the way to sitting, kisses Taehyung so tenderly Taehyung feels his eyes start to well up in tears, and says, "I love you too. Of course I love you."
"Holy crap," Taehyung says, mind gone blank, and Jeongguk laughs and kisses him again, raising a hand to wipe at Taehyung's eyes for him. Jeongguk seems to understand without words why he's crying - not because he didn't believe Jeongguk loved him back, or that he didn't think Jeongguk would ever say it back - which is good, because Taehyung isn't sure he can explain it.
Shifting his weight to one arm to free up the other one also moves Jeongguk's cock inside of Taehyung in a way that both has them moaning, and Jeongguk lies back down. When he finds the leverage to thrust up, it's all Taehyung can do to hold himself up and gasp out a stream of moans against Jeongguk's mouth.
"Taehyung - touch yourself," Jeongguk bites out between those half-moan sounds he always makes, and Taehyung doesn't need to be told twice, with how close he is. He comes with a cry all over his and Jeongguk's stomachs, shaking through the aftershocks as Jeongguk hisses and comes inside of him. It kind of feels filthy but mostly it's just good, great even, and Taehyung whimpers, unwilling, when Jeongguk pulls out slowly and his come leaks out between Taehyung's legs.
"Wait here," Jeongguk says after a long moment of recovery, pressing a kiss to Taehyung's forehead as he stumbles to the bathroom to retrieve a hand towel (dampened with warm water, because Jeongguk's always careful with the details). He wipes most of it from the insides of Taehyung's thighs, giving up on cleaning it all and moving on to their stomachs.
His slow, circular movements and the drag of the towel against his skin is going to put Taehyung to sleep. "You're the best," he tells Jeongguk languidly. "I love you."
Jeongguk laughs softly, kissing Taehyung again gently on the mouth. "I know," he says. He puts the towel on the bedside drawers and curls up against Taehyung, nudging him out of the wet spot on the sheets.
"Thank you for saying it back to me," Taehyung mumbles against Jeongguk's chest. His tears, and his conversation with Jo Kwon, seem so far away now, banished by the warmth of Jeongguk's body pressed to his.
"Of course," Jeongguk says fondly. "That's not something you need to thank me for."
Taehyung kisses Jeongguk on the corner of his mouth, and falls asleep before he can aim again and get it right. Oh, well. He's got all the time in the world for that.
"Got everything?" Jeongguk says, glancing over at Taehyung after he smoothly pulls into a parking spot at the airport. Taehyung checks for his passport and printed boarding pass, and nods. He doesn't take Jeongguk's hand when they walk into the terminal, though he wishes he could, but their shoulders bump lightly as they walk and this is good, too.
"I wish I could take you with me," Taehyung says. Then I'll really have everything. He feels a little bad for leaving Jeongguk with a ton of cardboard boxes at home while he frolics off on vacation, but Jeongguk had been so amazed and happy when Taehyung told him he was serious about moving in that they'd just got it done. Nowadays, Jeongguk's been teaching part-time at his friend's dance studio, because he's apparently really fucking good at dancing, and Taehyung is the only one who has the pleasure of jumping Jeongguk when he gets home all sweaty and loose-limbed. Which is just as he likes it.
Jeongguk looks away from where he's checking the screens for Taehyung's gate. "Don't worry about it, I wouldn't want to intrude on your reunion with your family," Jeongguk says. "Maybe next time."
Next time, like Jeongguk's sure that he and Taehyung will still be together next year when Christmas rolls around and he'll still want to go home and meet Taehyung's parents, and little siblings, and the new dog that Taehyung's younger brother had told him about excitedly last night when he called. Even if they can't figure out living together right away, and even if they get into fights along the way, Jeongguk will still want to stay with him. And maybe a true 'one great love' isn't always that someone you give yourself to, but rather the one who can accept you as you are and love you that passionately, no matter what you did in the past. Maybe Jimin got it wrong. Because Taehyung knows that Jeongguk will love him no matter who he fucked before as V, and he will love Jeongguk with the same unconditional acceptance.
"I'd really like that," Taehyung says sincerely, and hikes his backpack further up on his shoulder so he can throw his arms around Jeongguk. No, he can't kiss him goodbye (though they did that and more last night), but Jeongguk turns his head to press his lips against Taehyung's temple, and this embrace is enough. Jeongguk is more than enough.
As he gets in the line for security and waves goodbye at Jeongguk, who's still standing there and will wait until Taehyung passes through the gates, Taehyung finds that he doesn't wish he had superpowers anymore. For the first time, Taehyung doesn't want to slow down time, or turn it back, or stop them in this moment forever. Instead, he's content to let life take them forward, to wherever they're headed to next.